You Win Some, You Lose Some

by Michele Dehnel

It was a moment of panic when I arrived home from a 12-hour shift from the fire department and observed a frantic woman running toward me. She was yelling “Michele! Michele! Help me! Please!” I recognized her as Nancy, who was my neighbor across the street from where my residence is located. I asked Nancy what was wrong, as she was crying and looked distraught. She just kept telling me to hurry and go with her to her house because something was wrong with Herman, her spouse.

I quickly dropped my items I had in my arms, grabbed my trauma bag I leave in my vehicle, and ran across the street with Nancy to her residence. Upon entering, I observed Herman in a rocking chair located in the living room, hunched over on his left side. I quickly performed a carotid artery pulse check, which is placing your index finger and middle finger on the side of Herman’s neck just under his jaw. I did not feel a pulse. I then placed my ear near his mouth and could not detect breathing sounds. I pulled Herman out of the chair onto the floor and started chest compressions.

Meanwhile, Nancy was outside calling 9-1-1, but much to my surprise, she was panicking because she did not want to watch me work on Herman. Another neighbor, Jeff, heard the commotion and came over to assist. After a couple of rounds of compressions and breaths by a mask I had in my bag, I got a pulse! Herman started breathing, shallow breaths, but still a good sign. I told Nancy we could not wait for her to call for an ambulance now, as we needed to get Herman to the hospital. Jeff helped me get Herman in Nancy’s vehicle and Jeff drove. I was in the backseat with Herman and as we were driving to the hospital, he coded again. We had laid Herman on the backseat, and I was crouched down on the floor, so I was able to start compressions again right away.

As we pulled into the emergency department parking lot of the hospital, I felt a weak pulse by checking his carotid artery, and heard deep, shallow breaths. Jeff pulled up to the doors of the emergency department and Nancy ran in to get help. Two nurses came outside with a cot, helped me get Herman onto the cot, and took him inside. Jeff went to park the vehicle and I took Nancy to the waiting room of the emergency department. After approximately 30 minutes, the doctor approached Nancy to tell her Herman was breathing and had a strong pulse. He was even saying a few words! However, they were still trying to determine the cause of his episode.

Waiting during those 30 minutes seemed like it was hours. Nancy was frantic with worry, as Herman was all she had. Nancy and Herman had been married for 62 years and did not have any children. I had lived across the street from them for eight years and became close to them. They were like my grandparents and treated me like the daughter they never had. Even though I had a very busy schedule between work, raising three kids who were all involved with sports, and other life priorities, I still made time to help Herman and Nancy with their lawn, taking their blood sugars, shopping, etc. They were family in my eyes.

After approximately one hour, the nurse came to the waiting room to get Nancy and I and take us to see Herman. The doctor met us in his room and told us Herman had a massive heart attack and would need a triple bypass surgery immediately. With tears in her eyes, Nancy kept her composure and held Herman’s hand. She told him everything was going to be okay and that it wasn’t his time yet. She stated they still had things in life to do, and he whispered, “I’m not going anywhere yet ” The Surgical Technologists then came and wheeled Herman to the operating room, where they performed the triple bypass.

The surgery was a success and Herman had to stay in the hospital for one week. Once he was discharged, I went over to their house every day for weeks during his recovery to help with whatever they needed. I made meals for them as well. Herman was very grateful and appreciative for everything that I did to keep him alive that day, and I simply told him I was doing my job and would help anyone in need, anytime, anyplace.

Two years went by, and Herman had another massive heart attack in his sleep. Although Nancy was sleeping beside him, she was not aware of this until she woke up and he was cold and stiff. Nancy knew he was gone, and she called me to come over. I walked slowly across the street, knowing what I was about to see, and shed a few tears before I went inside. In my mind, I needed to be strong for Nancy and grieve on my own time. I approached Nancy, who knelt next to the bed where Herman lay peacefully. Nancy stood up, embraced me with a hug, and told me to I could have a couple minutes alone with Herman. Even though I worked at a fire department and witnessed death many times, it always feels different when it’s with someone you know. I held Herman’s hand, told him to rest easy, and that I would take care of Nancy.

Six weeks after Herman’s passing, Nancy came over to my house to say goodbye. She has a cousin who lives in Florida, and she was asked to move there. Nancy had mentioned to me a couple of times about moving down south and I told her that would be for the best, especially getting away from the cold winters here. Before she left, Nancy handed me a small, square box with a card. She had gone through Herman’s dresser while she was cleaning out his belongings and found the box with the card. The card and box had my name on it, so Nancy gave it to me. I opened the card, which said “Thank You” on the front. Inside the card was a note from Herman thanking me for saving his life and giving him more time with his sweetheart, Nancy.

Herman expressed his gratitude toward me and wrote that inside the box was a heart necklace he purchased for me a couple of months after his first heart attack. Herman stated the heart symbolized a piece of his heart given to me, and I will always be a part of him for saving his precious heart. I melted into tears and immediately put the necklace on. I have worn the necklace since, which has been seven years.

You never know how long you have, so live life to the fullest and have no regrets.