Winter 2017 Boulder Matters

BOULDER Matters Volume 27, No. 1 • WINTER 2017

NEW FACES at JFS

page 3

FINDING COMMON GROUND Volunteer Spotlight page 4 THANK YOU FOR CARING Tribute Gifts page 6

A PUBLICATION OF

Full-Circle Support Care Management Services, page 3

From the Boulder JFS

MANAGER

Boulder JFS volunteer

coordinator Ingrid Swords shared at Celebrate Boulder JFS, “A wise, 92-year-old woman once told me it takes one mother to raise five children and five children to take care of one mother. I think of our volunteers as those five children.”

I often reflect on those words and marvel at how our volunteer and staff become surrogate family for our clients.

Time after time I have witnessed close friendships and bonds form. While I want to say it is almost like magic, I know there is something else going on. It’s that people need people, and at Boulder JFS we have been blessed by the incredible human beings who have walked through our doors and said, “How can I help?”

We have volunteers from every walk of life providing friendship and spiritual support to our clients. They may also help with anything from running errands and walking dogs, to taking clients to appointments or shopping, to delivering special treats such as donated Thanksgiving pies or Shalach Manot boxes. Each act of kindness that a Boulder JFS volunteer performs seems to have a ripple effect that spreads

beyond our expectations. As Friendly Visitor Rob Fineman attests to in this issue’s article, the work of Boulder JFS is personal; the aim of our services is to bring people together. I find our volunteers inspiring for the fact that they don’t shy away from opening their hearts and sharing generously of themselves.

Whether you are a volunteer, a donor, a client, a family member of a client, or simply a friend, we want you to know that Boulder JFS is here for everyone—not just those who we typically think of as in need of support and services. This newsletter highlights some of the exciting changes taking place at Boulder JFS, including the addition of Nili Feingold who will provide in-home counseling, and Chandra Matthews as the Director of the Jay and Rose Phillips Senior Solutions Center of JFS. In addition, we are excited to welcome the new President and CEO of JFS, Shepard Nevel. Sadly, chaplain intern Rachel Amaru will complete her JFS internship at the end of January. Please see her article in this issue. Thank you, Rachel, for all the meaningful work you’ve done at Boulder JFS. We look forward to 2017 and meeting new friends and clients, collaborating with new partners, and continuing to serve this wonderful Boulder community.

With gratitude,

Cathy Summer

Boulder JFS, a program of Jewish Family Service of Colorado (JFS), provides Boulder-area seniors, their families, adults with disabilities, and individuals in crisis with services based on Jewish values.

JFS believes in strengthening the community by providing vital services to people in need. Founded in 1872, JFS is a nonsectarian, nonprofit human services agency serving metro Denver and Boulder.

Cover photo: Lillian Cohen. See Care Management Services article on page 3 and Volunteer Spotlight on page 4.

Boulder Matters is published three times a year by Jewish Family Service of Colorado, 3201 S. Tamarac Dr., Denver CO 80231, www.jewishfamilyservice.org 2 BOULDER MAT TERS WINTER 2017

New FACES We are pleased to introduce

several new staff members at Jewish Family Service of Colorado and Boulder JFS! Shepard Nevel, President & CEO Shepard Nevel joined Jewish Family Service of Colorado (JFS) in early December Shepard Nevel Chandra Matthews Nili Feingold as its new president and CEO, succeeding Yana Vishnitsky, who retired after serving responsible for providing leadership, in the role for the past 16 years. Shepard is vision, strategic direction, and program a seasoned, successful leader in nonprofit, development to all JFS programs serving seniors, government, and for-profit contexts. He has including Boulder JFS. She brings 20 years of managed large teams, grown organizations, and leadership and management experience focused demonstrated a passion for Colorado through a on improving the lives of older adults. number of community leadership roles. He most Nili Feingold, MA, Boulder JFS Counselor recently served as president and CEO of LiveWell Nili Feingold, a therapist and coach with Colorado, where he strengthened core functions, more than 30 years of experience, joined Boulder diversified funding and other revenue opportuniJFS as a counselor in November 2016. She has ties, and refocused the mission on underserved provided a variety of therapeutic services to populations and the social determinants of adolescents, adults, couples, and families. In her health. role at JFS, Nili is working primarily with older Chandra Matthews, MSW, Jay and Rose Phillips adults and is excited to serve the local “sages.”

Senior Solutions Center Director She hopes to support her clients in embracing Chandra Matthews became the Senior their golden years while assisting them with the Solutions director in October 2016. She is physical and mental challenges of aging.

Boulder JFS Offers Full-Circle Support Through Care Management Services Sometimes it takes a bad fall for

good things to happen. Take for example, Boulder JFS care management client Lillian Cohen. In 2014, Lillian moved to Boulder from Denver to be closer to her daughter, Terry and son-in-law, Robert. Shortly after Lillian moved, she had a terrible fall that resulted in internal bleeding and fractures in her hip, pelvis, and index finger. She was 97 years old at the time, and Terry reached out to Boulder JFS. Care manager Jodi Ansell recalls the first time she met Lillian, “I will never forget that meeting. She was lying in bed, clearly in a lot of pain, with a black eye and a huge lump on

her forehead. She looked like she had been beaten up.” Despite her terrible condition, Lillian was lucid.

From that initial meeting, Jodi was able to ascertain that Lillian and her late husband were best friends with Jodi’s aunt and uncle, and knew many of Jodi’s family members. A special bond between formed between them.

While Lillian was in rehab, Jodi provided care management and arranged for Lillian to meet with a Boulder County long-term ombudsman (volunteer patient advocate) who helped make her stay at rehab more manageable. Jodi also referred her to Ingrid Swords, Boulder JFS continued on page 5 BOULDER MATTERS WINTER 2017 3

VOLUNTEER

Spotlight

Finding Common Ground

Years ago, when Rob Fineman’s mother

became sick, he helped move her into an assisted living facility and eventually hospice.

“I was blown away by the level of commitment and care she received,” Rob says, “It was mind-boggling. The staff were such warm, caring people. They did a great job with her in her last years of life.”

Out of Rob’s gratitude to the people who cared for his mom and a desire to honor her memory, he decided to become a Friendly Visitor volunteer with Boulder Rob Fineman and Lillian Cohen JFS. “I thought it would be a good tribute to my mom.” Rob had heard about Boulder JFS through his friend, Monique Simons, who was already a Friendly Visitor.

For the past two years, Rob has visited Lillian Cohen. “The first time I met Lillian, she had suffered a fall and was at Manor Care.

When I arrived, her daughter and son-in-law

and JFS volunteer “I really enjoy coordinator Ingrid this volunteer Swords were visiting. opportunity— She was not in great it’s good for shape, but our first conthe soul.” versation set the tone —Rob Fineman for what would become a strong and easy friendship. Her son-in-law asked me if I liked football. At the time I didn’t realize that Lillian was born and raised in Denver. When I asked her what football team she liked, she looked at me like I was crazy and said, ‘The Denver Broncos, of course.’ Then she asked me what football team I liked and when I said, ‘The Philadelphia Eagles,’ without missing a beat she said, ‘Oh, I am sorry.’”

“At the end of every visit, Lillian always thanks me and I say, ‘no, thank YOU.’ I think I get more out of it than she does. I really enjoy this volunteer opportunity—it’s good for the soul. I truly enjoy spending time with her. I have had a very good life and it makes me feel good to give back in this very personal way.”

Feel inspired to volunteer? Contact Ingrid Swords, volunteer coordinator, at 720.749.3403 or iswords@jewishfamilyservice.org.

UPCOMING EVENTS Jewish Grief Support Group Forming for February 2017 An eight-week “Good Grief: A Grief Support Group” for affiliated and nonaffiliated members of the Jewish community who have experienced a recent loss will begin in February (date to be announced soon). Facilitated by Barbara Gould, MSW, and Cathy Summer, LCSW. For more information and to register, please contact Cathy Summer, 720.749.3401 or csummer@jewishfamilyservice.org.

Being Mortal Documentary Screening and Panel Discussion Join us for a free screening and discussion of the documentary Being Mortal on March 2, 7:00 p.m. at the Boulder JCC. This film explores the hopes of patients and families facing terminal illness and their relationships with the doctors, nurses, and family members who care for them. Co-sponsored by Boulder JFS, ACE at the Boulder JCC, Kindred Hopsice, and Morningstar Assisted Living and Memory Care.

View the full list of upcoming events at www.jewishfamilyservice.org/services/boulder-jfs-events.

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PROGRAM

Spotlight

Boulder JFS has partnered with Boulder

County Area Agency on Aging and the City of Boulder to offer a caregiver’s support group for adult children. JFS care manager Jodi Ansell, MSW and Andrew Bunin, LPC, MSW facilitate the group. As Jodi explains, “Adult children of aging parents are the unsung heroes of eldercare. They devote countless hours to the care of one or both of their parents, providing both physical and emotional support.” However, there is a flip side, and “in many instances caregivers can neglect their own physical, emotional, social, and spiritual needs.”

She says, “If left untended for too long, a caregiver’s health problems can potentially impair his or her ability to provide physical and emotional support for a frail parent.” It was out of this concern that the caregiver support group began in 2014. Jodi recognized there weren’t enough programs for adult children who are caregivers to receive emotional support.

As Jodi explains, “The support group is here to help caregivers recognize and address their needs, to take time for themselves, and to access resources to help them get the breaks they need

Caregiver Support Group for Adult Children to continue caring for an aging parent.”

Terry Cohen, a support group participant, says, “I was in crisis with my mom after she had a bad fall at her assisted living home. I attended the caregiver support group and it was immensely helpful for me to Adult children freely express my fears and feelings of aging among experts in the field and parents are others in similar caregiving roles. the unsung Fortunately, my mother did improve heroes of and I continued to attend the eldercare. support group. It is helpful to hear other people’s experiences, gain new insights, and offer suggestions. The group is a valuable resource that informs and consoles people experiencing the challenging duties of caregiving for elderly parents.”

The support group is open to anyone who shares in the common bond of caring for a parent. This free drop-in group meets the second Thursday of every month, from 5:30 to 7:00 p.m. at the East Boulder Senior Center at 5660 Sioux Drive. For more information, contact Jodi Ansell at 720.749.3402 or jansell@jewishfamilyservice.org.

Care Management Services continued from page 3 volunteer coordinator, who matched Rob Fineman with Lillian for Friendly Visitor services. Rob, who was an experienced Friendly Visitor, quickly formed a friendship with Lillian. He visited her frequently while she was in rehab, and often brought her favorite foods for dinner. (For “I tell her she more about Rob, and the Friendly Visitor program, see the Volunteer Spotlight article looks like a on page 4.) million dollars, Once Lillian fully recovered, she moved back into her assisted living facility, because she and Rob continues to visit her on a weekly basis. In the meantime, Lillian’s daughter does!”

Terry joined the Boulder JFS monthly caregiver support group for adult children (see —Jodi Ansell Program Spotlight article on this page).

Lillian turned 99 this past October and has fully recovered from her fall. Jodi says, “Every time I see Lillian at a holiday celebration or a care management meeting, I tell her she looks like a million dollars, because she does!”

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THANK YOU for Caring!

Thank you for your generosity! Your support makes our life-transforming work possible.

Thank you for the following tribute gifts received from September 1 to November 30, 2016. Please accept our apologies for any omissions or errors.

IN HONOR OF BIRTHDAY Barbara Steinmetz Bruce and Julie Shaffer IN HONOR OF Jodi Ansell Nancy Marcu Lola Sussman Lisa Benoit Jeffrey Mehl Boulder Haver Rabbis Christopher Kapantais and Rachel Amaru Boulder Jewish Family Service Josh and Bonni Raderman Barbara Gould Joseph Kelly Edna Jacobson Peter and Elisabeth Jacobson Rachel Amaru Rabbi Marc Soloway Cathy Summer Scott Bearman and Theresa Skalabrin Rabbi Deborah Bronstein Sydell Pannor David Spiro and Robin Youngelman IN MEMORY OF Sharlene Ancell Kark Mark and Susan Barter Mark and Tina Harrop Stanton and Jane E. Rosenbaum Claire Seiden Jonathan Singer and Linda Leonard Eve Bat Shalom Steven and Deborah Aragon

Charlotte Bock James and Debra Mayworm Rosemarie Bolen Jonathan and Heidi Dormody Tamar Bronstein Jeffrey and Rabbi Hannah Laner Bernie Coleman Howard Susskind Helen Dansky The Board & Staff of Jewish Family Service Harriett Ezra Rachael Small Rosyne Gardenswartz The Board & Staff of Jewish Family Service Jack Garfinkel Belle Garfinkel Yoram Gordon Cathy Cohn and Gilad Gordon Cathy Grimm Rick Rohr and Ingrid Swords Elsie Guber Steven Guber Frank Guber Steven Guber Robert Guttsmann The Board & Staff of Jewish Family Service Della Jultak The Board & Staff of Jewish Family Service Faye Kahn Gary and Shoni Kahn Helen Kopolovic Belle Garfinkel Saul Levy Rich and Sharon Galdieri Muriel Lowenstein Barbara Dubois

Erik Madison The Board & Staff of Jewish Family Service Vivian Mosko Kilstrup The Board & Staff of Jewish Family Service Bernard Munishor The Board & Staff of Jewish Family Service Don Rosen The Board & Staff of Jewish Family Service Lin Rosen Larry Colbenson and Marjorie Freedman Scott and Martha Swaggart Anne Rothschild The Board & Staff of Jewish Family Service Betty Schware Justin and Sharon Roth Deborah Silberstein Stanton and Jane E. Rosenbaum Howard Steinmetz Barbara Steinmetz Reb Zalman Schacter Jeffrey and Rabbi Hannah Laner Robert and Ru Wing WITH GRATITUDE FOR Cathy Summer Ellen Brock WITH WISHES FOR A SPEEDY RECOVERY Helene Abrahams The Board & Staff of Jewish Family Service Bernard Papper The Board & Staff of Jewish Family Service Barry Silvestain The Board & Staff of Jewish Family Service

Please consider making a tribute gift in honor of a loved one’s birthday, anniversary, bar or bat mitzvah, or other occasion; in memory of a loved one; in gratitude; or with wishes for a speedy recovery. Please include your contribution in the enclosed envelope or donate to Boulder JFS online at www.jewishfamilyservice.org/boulderjfs.

Stay Connected

To stay connected to everything that is happening with Boulder JFS, please “like” us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/BoulderJFS and sign up for our e-newsletter by visiting www.jewishfamilyservice.org and clicking the “Subscribe to JFS Newsletters” link.

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DONOR

Corner

An Easy Way to Pay it Forward

By Laurie and Howard Bernstein

We have lived in Boulder for 25 years. That has given

us plenty of time to see how people benefit from JFS’s programs. In fact, our own family has utilized some of JFS’s services, so we have experienced firsthand the agency’s positive impact on our community.

When it was time to say goodbye to our car, we had the opportunity through Cars for Charity to identify Boulder JFS as the recipient of the funds received from our donation. The process was easy and the outcome was exactly what we had hoped. The dollars raised at auction were directed to JFS. JFS has made, and continues to make, a difference in so many lives. We are grateful that donating our car will help the many programs under the JFS Boulder umbrella. This was an easy way to pay it forward. We hope many others will do the same.

Laurie and Howard Bernstein

My Experience as a Chaplain Intern

By Rachel Amaru

For the past four months, I have

had the honor of serving as a chaplain intern for Boulder Jewish Family Service as part of my second unit of Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE) at Boulder Community Hospital. The breadth and scope of JFS’s work in our community is staggering—from their care of the elderly, including Holocaust survivors; to their care of people significantly younger, whose lives have been changed by unforeseen circumstances.

Perhaps more than anything, my time at JFS has reinforced the deep necessity of hearing people’s sacred life stories, that we be present for others when they are most lonely and most bereft, and that we honor the divine spark in each of us. JFS truly models those core values of chaplaincy, and it has been a gift to be a part of this organization.

Through my weekly visits with JFS clients I have explored Jewish meditation with someone confined to a nursing facility; explored Jewish identity with someone who has been housebound for the past few years and has little

opportunity to be a part of the Jewish community; used music and writing as therapeutic tools with someone who has had multiple traumatic brain injuries; delved into exploring the meaning and value of saying Kaddish with someone in the early stages of grief; and confronted end-of-life issues with a 94-year-old woman who lives in a multi-generational household.

The work at JFS has allowed Rachel Amaru me to find creative ways to connect my background in literature and writing with the vocation of chaplaincy. I have delved deeper into texts and narratives around grief and mourning, sought out Jewish meditation practices, and experimented with the use of blessings and prayer. I am very grateful to the staff of Boulder JFS, to Haver Rabbinic Council, and to my supervisor at Boulder Community Hospital for the support I have received.

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NON PROFIT ORG. US POSTAGE

Boulder JFS Jewish Family Service of Colorado 6007 Oreg Avenue Boulder, CO 80303 RETURN SERVICE REQUESTED tel: 303.415.1025 www.jewishfamilyservice.org /boulder Beneficiary Agency of JEWISHcolorado and Mile High United Way

Social services for Jewish Nazi victims have been supported by a grant from The Conference of Jewish Material Claims Against Germany.

PAID DENVER, COLORADO PERMIT NO. 1217