Authentic Leadership

By Keith Krivitzky, Managing Director

Jewish Federation of Ocean County keith@ocjf.org

www.jewishoceancounty.org/donate 732.363.0530

Our world is rife with challenges and disruption. While disruption can lead to positive changes, especially if one is primed strategically to take advantage of such “plastic” moments – the truth is most people affected feel anxiety…which can often manifest as fear or resistance.

At times like this people are looking for authentic leadership. As we think about the holiday of Purim, there are some lessons we can learn about what this looks like – and what this doesn’t.

The challenge with the story of Purim is that its characters don’t come across as

quite “real.” Esther hides her identity and her voice/agency until a pivotal moment in the story…and even then this gets revealed through something of a pantomime featuring not one but two dinner parties. Mordechai plays the role of Esther’s guardian but also seems to be a party to court intrigue – providing intel about a plot to kill the king while also finding ways to needle the second most important person in the kingdom…perhaps unnecessarily. The king comes across as a buffoon, yet he rules a massive kingdom and everyone defers to him. Even Haman is a caricature. He’s evil, but in a “Boris and Natasha” cartoonish kind of way.

The entire Purim story is “performative”. Everyone seems to be acting out a role in an exaggerated way…like stage actors in a melodrama or camp production (not the summer camp variety). Performative,

to quote one of Webster’s definitions, means: “Made or done for show (as to bolster one's own image or make a positive impression on others).”

For us, with the benefit of historical distance, this type of story is one we can retell and learn from, with lessons about agency, leveraging strengths, the presence of baseless hatred, and overcoming victimhood. Yet, such a performance works best when read in hindsight. When leaders in real time assume a role and play a part, trying to manipulate the story versus being transparent, it doesn’t play so well.

Case in point…after three hostages –Ohad Ben Ami, Eli Sharabi and Or Levy were released…looking gaunt and pale and compared to victims of the Shoah (Holocaust), many politicians in Israel were quick to express their shock and surprise.

Rachel Goldberg-Polin, in an interview on Israeli television, pointed out that these politicians all knew the conditions under which hostages were kept and how they suffered – in actual fact and not in abstract theory since, as she said, Hersh’s malnutrition and weight-loss were known months before he was murdered. All those politicians who expressed

surprise in front of journalists were role-playing for the cameras, hiding from their responsibility and minimizing their agency. They were being performative, telling people what they wanted to hear to augment their support rather than own up to outcomes.

OK…we all get that politicians do this. And, while this is not a partisan trait, it seems especially prevalent today, whether in Israel or in the United States.

It is one thing to recount and mine lessons from such a performative story like Purim. However, it is another when we are living it in real time. There are times when playacting can be useful, such as while engaging with adversaries – but with constituents, especially at a time of disruption and anxiety, a different approach is needed.

Be real. Use more authenticity and transparency. Own up to your strengths and shortcomings. Bottom line – act like a ben adam, a human being. Showing empathy can help bring people together and actually makes change, an often bitter pill that is much easier to swallow.