HAKOL - Family Moments 2014

JANUARY 2014 TEVET/SH’VAT 5774

inside

Events Special Section

Centerpiece becomes conversation piece

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What is the best birthday gift you ever got?

4

Family plants roots, and a tree grows in the Lehigh Valley

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Adult Bat Mitzvah journeys within Judaism

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A simcha in Israel: Mother of Bar Mitzvah shares lessons learned

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Israel’s ancient and historic trees

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A Jewish wedding in France: Now the ceremony can take place

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Centerpiece becomes conversation piece:

JFS-LV CENTERPIECES FOR TZEDAKAH

By Myra Saturen JFS-LV Community Relations Coordinator

Q. When does a centerpiece become a conversation piece?

A. When it is a JFS-LV Centerpiece for Tzedakah!

Jewish Family Service of the Lehigh Valley volunteers make centerpiece baskets of boxes and cans of food for bar and bat mitzvahs, engagement parties, anniversaries and other special occasions. These centerpieces are beautifully decorated with ribbons and lovely cards announcing the simcha. The baskets are then “rented” out for the occasion and proceeds

from their rental benefit the JFS food pantry, which provides assistance to individuals and families.

The unique centerpieces tend to elicit positive comments and thus are great conversation-starters. But even better, they add even more meaning and beauty to families’ simchas because their rental helps provide food for people in need. Using the centerpieces is convenient because they are already put together.

“The JFS staff was friendly, helpful and accommodating,” said Lynn Rothman, who rented centerpieces for a special event.

If you would like to rent Centerpieces for Tzedakah, call JFSLV at 610-821-8722.

With roots and naming, A TREE GROWS IN THE LEHIGH VALLEY

By Jennifer Lader Editor, HAKOL

Lauri Franko and her family moved to the Lehigh Valley in June of 2006. During that time, Franko was busy finding a home, a new job and daycare for the two youngest of her four children. Even though son Nick was only in the first grade and daughter Emily was only 4 years old, it was always in the back of her mind that she also needed to find her children a Jewish education.

Recently the family reached an important milestone with the ritual

2 JANUARY 2014 | HAKOL LEHIGH VALLEY | FAMILY MOMENTS

naming of Emily during a Shabbat service.

“My parents raised me as an Orthodox Jew in a Conservative synagogue,” Franko said. “We were very, very involved and in synagogue almost every day – three days a week for Hebrew School, then Friday nights and Saturday mornings. My father stepped up as chazzan – cantor -- at times.” Franko’s two older daughters had attended Hebrew School and obtained a basic Jewish education. The synagogue the family attended merged and moved, then merged again leaving Franko with a disconnected feeling.

Meanwhile, Franko lost her first husband and remarried a non-Jew. “It was my life changes and the changes in my synagogue,” she said, that caused her to drift away from organized Jewish life. After leaving her New Jersey synagogue, Franko had never connected with the Jewish community in Pennsylvania. “I visited a few synagogues, but either the venue was too different, the people were too different or the tunes to the prayers were too different for me to find the right fit.”

“It felt like starting over,” she concluded. “But when my son Nick turned 13, I felt a strong, visceral urge to raise them Jewish and especially for my son to have a bar

Penina Ilana bat Chanah Layah

mitzvah; I couldn’t let it go any longer yet I didn’t want to just go through the motions either.”

At last she said to herself, ‘I want them to know what it is to be Jewish and, for me, it’s not just a ritual. It’s an immersion.’ Finally, she visited Congregation Brith Sholom and soon joined.

Franko is often at Shabbat services with Emily and Nick, although she said, “At their age, they don’t want to start, they balk at it. But over time, they are softening.” Both children are studying and attending the religious school at Bnai Abraham in Easton.

Nick’s bar mitzvah is set for Sept. 6.

Yet there was still something special that Franko wanted to do for Emily, who turned 11 on Dec. 17. It was something Franko knew she had missed doing when Emily was born: a naming ceremony.

On a recent Shabbat morning, after Franko was called to the Torah, Rabbi Allen Juda of Congregation Brith Sholom called Emily to stand beside her mother as Emily’s father, siblings and extended family and friends looked on.

The rabbi spoke eloquently of Emily, calling her “a blessing from God.” He then said, “Let her be known among the people as Penina Ilana bat Chanah Layah. We pray that she will grow in her love of Judaism and find blessing as a member of the Jewish people. May she come to offer her willing heart and hands to all those in need, and strive to perfect the world in accordance with Jewish tradition.”

Emily is named for her great grandmother, Edith Pearl Franko.

Penina is the Hebrew for Pearl, which is Emily’s middle name.

As the rabbi said that Shabbat morning, “A pearl is a beautiful gem and Emily is a beautiful gem in her family. Ilana is Hebrew for a ‘tree.’ Trees have strong roots and Emily’s family wants her to be strongly rooted in her family and in the Jewish people and tradition.”

And the people all wiped their eyes and said, “Amen.”

A simcha in Israel:

MOTHER OF BAR MITZVAH SHARES LESSONS LEARNED

The Cooper Family enjoys celebrating son Ari's bar mitzvah in Israel. Mom Rebecca planned the trip, with some help from contacts in Israel.

By Monica Friess Special to HAKOL Celebrating a bar mitzvah has come a long way since Talmudic times, when the observance consisted of a father pronouncing a blessing on his 13-year-old son who had now reached the age of majority. Since then, celebrations have evolved greatly and marking this rite of passage has become an occasion for family and friends to share together in varied and unique ways.

For some American families, including the Coopers of Allentown, the most meaningful way to observe their son’s being called to the Torah is by going to Israel.

When Rebecca Cooper and husband Mitchell began thinking about son Ari’s bar mitzvah, they knew it would have to be something different.

“Ari wouldn’t find a party following his service particularly meaningful to him,” Cooper said.

“Going to Israel was the logical next step for us.”

Both her son and her husband left the planning of the simcha to Cooper, knowing she’d do a fantastic job and have fun doing so.

Once the budget was set, Cooper began to work backwards. “I knew I wanted to do [the bar mitzah] over the winter break,” she said, “and I wanted it to be on a Thursday so that we could read from the Torah and also take photos of the event.”

From there, Cooper began to assess just how many family members and friends might be able to travel. “In the beginning, I wasn’t even sure I would have a minyan!” She then began researching trips and piecing together an itinerary; her one goal was to make the experience fun and meaningful for the kids involved.

“My kids [Ari and his sister Hannah] hadn’t yet been to Israel,” Cooper said. “We knew this wouldn’t be their last trip there, so I didn’t try to pack too much into this visit.”

Based on the recommendation of two friends in Israel, Cooper chose “Eretz Breishit,” a biblical theme park in the Judean Hills overlooking Jerusalem, in which to hold the ceremony itself.

She then selected side trips and tours including a guided tour of Jerusalem. (“We said the she’hechayanu as we entered the city and the sun was setting,” Cooper said.) She arranged a “Dig for a Day,” a visit to Masada and the Dead Sea, and to the Palmach Museum, the bakery/secret munitions factory in Ayalon and the Latrun armored tanks museum.

Now came the daunting task of finding out who would be coming and which side trips they would join. Ultimately, with anywhere from 12 to 45 people taking part in individual trips and tours, Cooper hired someone in Israel to make the advance reservations, purchase tickets and arrange transportation. She said she would highly recommend to anyone planning an event in Israel to do this at the outset.

In the end, the whole experience proved to be even more wonderful than anyone could have hoped. The Coopers did indeed have a minyan -almost 70 people (about 45 from the States and about 25 people already living in or visiting

Israel) attended the bar mitzvah.

Ari studied his Torah portion and learned Trope with Yizak Yablonski, a former JDS teacher and with his maternal grandfather Bart Axelrod. A member of Temple Beth El, Ari worked with Rabbi Moshe Re’em to prepare his d’var Torah.

On the day of the ceremony, guests donned costumes of the day and entered Eretz Breishit on camels. They were greeted by “Abraham,” who welcomed them to his tent. After the service, which was led by Cooper’s cousin Ron Moses, a lavish Israeli luncheon awaited them in another tent. Cooper remembers looking around the tent and seeing their guests: “It was so powerful and so emotional to see everybody gathered in Israel in this beautiful setting,” she said. Yet for Ari, becoming a Bar Mitzvah was a very “relaxed, warm, and meaningful experience,” she said.

Planning a ceremony in Israel need not be an insurmountable undertaking. A quick Internet search yielded several sites devoted to this task, with links for such tools as event planners, suggested tours, photographers, transportation services and more.

Cooper emphasized she “cannot understate the importance of having someone on the

Israeli end to coordinate all the details.” For her, the coordinator was critical in booking hotel rooms, purchasing tickets and planning transportation, which was really a struggle. She also strongly recommended hiring a professional photographer and tour guides. Another suggestion: Make guests aware at the outset which costs they’d be liable for, such as airfare and hotels, and which meals and tours would be covered by the hosts.

Regarding the cost, Cooper noted that when all was said and done, there wasn’t too great of a difference between the costs for her daughter Hannah’s “traditional” service, luncheon, and evening party and Ari’s event.

Becoming a Bar or Bat Mitzvah in Israel can be a life-affirming experience that strengthens one’s connection to Judaism and to the ancient homeland. For the Coopers, standing with their loved ones in the Judean Hills to celebrate Ari’s passage into Jewish adulthood was a dream come true.

“Each of our children had events that were meaningful to them,” Cooper said. “For Ari, going to Israel for his bar mitzvah was the perfect experience. I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”

FAMILY MOMENTS | HAKOL LEHIGH VALLEY | JANUARY 2014 3

WHAT IS THE BEST

birthday gift YOU EVER GOT?

At the Jewish Federation’s Women’s Division Lunch & Learn on Dec. 12, Rabbi Melissa Klein offered ideas for celebrating a birthday Jewishly, such as reading over the Torah portion from one’s birth week. In the birthday spirit, HAKOL asked attendees to describe their favorite gifts.

Sarah Morse

(left): “My husband planned a surprise trip for my 30th birthday [to London],” she said. “It’s easy to just let this stuff go by, but I really don’t want to.”

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(left): She had just lost her dog – a Yorkie – when a new Yorkie pup came into her life. “I got my dog March 8 and my birthday’s March 14 and I held him and cried the whole time,” she said. (right): Last year, when she spent her birthday in California with her entire family.

“This was the first time I was with all the grandkids for my birthday,” she said.

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: “My husband took me to a baseball game and that’s something I really like doing so doing something together was really nice,” she said.

Gesturing to her 3-month-old daughter snuggled against her, she added “maybe we’ll take her this year, her first Phillies game.”

4 JANUARY 2014 | HAKOL LEHIGH VALLEY | FAMILY MOMENTS

Jane Levine

: “I think it was probably my 16th birthday and a ring from my father.” Though she’s not a big jewelry wearer, that made the opal ring with diamonds even more special. “It was his way of acknowledging that I was all grown up,” she said. The ring will now be going to her granddaughter, who is 14.

Adult Bat Mitzvah

JOURNEYS WITHIN JUDAISM

By Karyn Goldner Special to HAKOL

I did not grow up Jewish, live in a Jewish household or raise my children Jewish. I was introduced to Judaism nine years ago when I attended a Friday night Shabbat service with my soon–to-be husband, Dave. I was intrigued. Being raised in a good and loving Catholic home, I was extremely uninformed when it came to Judaism. Those who know me best have heard me say that everything I ever learned about the Bible, I learned from Charlton Heston in the movie, “The Ten Commandments.”

Attending Shabbat services opened a new door … and a spiritual curiosity. Hearing Cantor Sussman’s music left a lasting impression. The melodies were compelling and the chanting in Hebrew was foreign but fascinating.

I remember trying to follow along with a text, unfamiliar to my eyes, right to left. And then the realization came to me just how ancient this religion is. Judaism has withstood thousands of years of struggle and strife, survived through such adversity, still holding onto its basic tenets, one of which is simply tikkun olam, make this world a better place. This not only intrigued me, it shook me to my very core. I knew after a year of attending Shabbat services and High Holy Days, celebrating Chanukah and Passover with friends and family, I needed to know more about what I had missed. Since leaving the Catholic religion over a decade ago, I was seeking answers to many unresolved questions.

And I had a deep yearning to belong to the Jewish faith and its people. So I converted to Judaism.

My conversion was over seven years ago, and I was naïve to think that the ceremony alone would make me feel more Jewish.

The transition is hard and takes time; however, I was eager and quickly embraced my new religion. I wanted to be a knowing participant in Shabbat services, to understand the meaning of the prayers and to learn the culture and customs of my new Jewish family.

I began my journey with Hebrew lessons, read books on Jewish history and attended adult education and Torah study classes.

These activities gave me a broader perspective on Judaism and the Torah.

Friends who I had met in my synagogue, Temple Shirat Shalom, became unknowing mentors in my spiritual journey.

All of these things led me to my decision to become a Bat Mitzvah. Committing myself to the intense study of Hebrew and Torah, I soon

realized how daunting a task it was. In the back of my mind I kept thinking, “13-year-olds have been doing this for years, I can do it too!” But it was not easy.

The day finally arrived when I would stand before friends and family and chant my Torah and Haftorah portion. It was especially meaningful that I was wearing the tallit that my stepdaughter, Jill, wore for her bat mitzvah over a dozen years ago. We also shared the same Torah portion, Naso, the Priestly Blessing -- appropriate for how blessed I felt to share such an experience with all of those I loved.

Surprisingly, I was not nervous. I knew I was prepared by the best of teachers. Marcia Berkow patiently taught me Hebrew and Cantor Ellen Sussman taught me how to chant Torah.

Each of these women has my sincere gratitude for coaching me and giving me the courage I needed to fulfill my goal. I was overwhelmed with the love and support from my family and friends. After the service was over, I felt a sense of peace, calm and sheer joy.

I am now able to actively participate in Shabbat services. Each prayer has a deeper and more profound meaning to me. Every time I recite the prayers in Hebrew, I am reminded of the long and arduous struggle of our ancestors and their commitment to their faith.

Cantor Sussman once told me that by becoming an adult Bat Mitzvah, I was honoring the Jewish people. But I must say, that I am the one who is truly honored and abundantly blessed to have been given this experience and a once-in-a lifetime opportunity.

Above, Karyn Goldner shown here with her family: From right: Karyn, stepdaughter Jill, husband Dave, stepson Jason and son Ben. Right, Karyn Goldner (right) with her stepdaughter, Jill, in Israel. Goldner recently became an adult Bat Mitzvah at Temple Shirat Shalom.

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CREDIT: ZVI ROGER VIA WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

There is no better place to celebrate your child’s birthday than right here at the J. on Sunday mornings or Sunday afternoons.

The Bahai Gardens in Haifa.

By Michael Brown Jewish News Service / JNS.org In 2013, the Society for the Protection of Nature in Israel (SPNI) published a survey of mature trees in Jerusalem that was “the most comprehensive of the recent SPNI surveys, including some 4,000 trees,” according to the society’s marketing and communications coordinator, Danielle Berkowitz.

Many of the trees identified through such surveys have rich histories and stories attached to them. In fact, hundreds of trees throughout the Jewish state illuminate fascinating aspects of Israeli history and culture. Ahead of Tu B’Shevat, the Jewish Arbor Day, JNS.org presents a small sampling of those trees.

GETHSEMANE OLIVES Behind a high-stone wall, just outside the Old City walls, stand some of the most famous trees in Jerusalem, if not the entire country. These trees, producing the olives of Gethsemane, are set in a small grove revered

by Christians because of its connection to Jesus.

In 2012, the National Research Council of Italy, along with researchers from several Italian universities, investigated the eight trees at the site. Samples of wood were taken from several of the trees and carbon-dated to 1092, 1166 and 1198. That would make the trees at least 900 years old -- ancient by any standard!

It is possible that the trees could be even older. Olives will readily sprout from the roots, so if the top growth of the trees was cut down or died at some point in time, then their true age may not be accurately reflected.

GUSH ETZION The Lone Oak in Gush Etzion, located halfway between Jerusalem and Hebron, has served as an area landmark for more than 600 years. After the 1948 War of Independence, it became a symbol of Jewish return to the land.

Today, Gush Etzion is a collection of kibbutzim, moshavim and villages with more than 70,000 residents.

Though the land was purchased in the 1920s, the first successful settlements there started in the early and mid-1940s. By 1947, the total population was 450 people.

On November 29, 1947, life at Gush Etzion changed forever.

On this date, the United Nations voted on the plan to partition Palestine. Less than two weeks later, the settlements found themselves under siege, and over the next few months they were under continuous attack. Within six months, hundreds of settlers had been massacred or taken as prisoners. Their buildings were completely destroyed, and thousands of trees were uprooted.

During the 19 years the Gush Etzion area was under Jordanian control, the Lone Oak was just

about the only identifiable landmark visible from the Jerusalem hills. It came to symbolize the former residents’ desire to return to their homes (and in fact today, the oak is the logo for the regional council).

After the 1967 Six Day War returned Gush Etzion to Israel, the sons and daughters who had been evacuated during the siege requested permission to return to their lands. The first kibbutz there, Kfar Etzion, was reestablished in September 1967.

HURSHAT TAL Hurshat Tal is one of the northern jewels in Israel’s national park system. Expansive lawns, together with streams and pools of clear cool water, combine to make this a particularly inviting spot. The park is dotted with hundreds of huge Mt. Tabor oaks that are among the largest in the country.

According to local legend, 10 of the Prophet Mohammed’s messengers once rested in Hurshat Tal. With no trees to provide shade or hitching posts, they pounded their staffs into the ground to fasten their horses. Overnight, the staffs grew into trees, and in the morning the men awoke to find themselves in a beautiful forest.

BAHAI GARDENS, HAIFA One of Israel’s major tourist destinations, and a World Heritage site to boot, the Bahai World Centre is an architectural and landscaping masterpiece.

Haifa and its northern neighbor Akko have great significance for the 5 million adherents of this 19th-century religion.

The genesis of the gardens came in 1891, when Bahai religious leader Baha’u’llah ascended the Carmel mountain with his son. Together, they walked until they arrived at a small clump of cypress trees. At that point, Baha’u’llah indicated to his son that this would be the future center of Bahai.

Today, the small clump of cypress trees can still be found on the grounds of the garden -- little changed from how they appeared more than 100 years ago.

So, when you visit Israel and pass by a gnarled ancient tree, take a moment to reflect on the story behind the tree. Perhaps it was planted by early Jewish colonists working for the Turkish authorities, or perhaps it has outlived whole towns or villages that existed on the same spot in previous centuries. At one point, it may have been a landmark in an otherwise barren countryside now crowded with buildings and automobiles. Every tree has a story. You just have to ask.

A Jewish wedding in France: NOW THE CEREMONY CAN TAKE PLACE

By Alice Level Special to HAKOL

Being invited to a traditional Jewish wedding in France is not to be treated lightly. Close friends and family are usually invited to at least three or four ceremonies, each followed by a banquet and each requiring its own appropriate outfit.

Let me explain: French law requires that unions are to be legalized in a city hall, even if a religious wedding follows. Thus French Jews, who love festivities, took on the habit of celebrating two weddings. The civil one, at the city hall of the bride or the groom, usually takes place on a Thursday. That’s because civil weddings can be performed in France only Mondays, Thursdays and Saturdays. French non-Jews like Saturdays, French Jews like Thursdays.

While the civil ceremony is less formal than the religious one, don’t think that people treat it lightly: All the men wear suits and women’s attire would be considered “cocktail formal.” The bride wears a white or cream formal dress, rather than a wedding dress, and the groom a formal suit.

The ceremony is traditionally followed by what French people call a “light lunch,” but which really means a catered affair in a venue -- a restaurant or a boat are very fashionable -- including at least one dozen kinds of appetizers, one or two entrées, several kinds of desserts and a lot of French wines.

On the Friday following this “small” ceremony, the parents of the bride and groom invite their close relatives for a traditional and again heavy Shabbat dinner. For Sephardic Jews, this can mean couscous, tajine or any traditional Shabbat recipe. For Ashkenazim, it can mean gefilte fish, sauerkraut -- very popular in Alsace -- and a lot of kugels.

All the relatives are then expected to attend the Saturday morning service at the synagogue of the groom. Since almost all synagogues in France are considered Orthodox, people walk to shul. Women and men have separate seating. The groom and men of the family are called to read from the Torah, while the women sometimes pray and often chat, and the children run from one section to the other while waiting for the service to end and the candies to be thrown. As the service ends and the kids have gathered all the candy, the parents of the bride and groom offer an elaborate kiddush to everyone present. Everyone then walks back home to rest for a few hours before the following ceremony, which starts after the end of Shabbat.

This ceremony, called the “Hénné” (henna in English, but pronounced “hayneh” in French) is typically Sephardic and has no equivalent that I know of in the Ashkenazic world. Basically, it is similar to a ceremony traditionally performed for Arab weddings at which women place a small amount of henna mixture in the hand of the bride and groom -- and then any unmarried adult -- to bring them luck ... and fertility. In addition, the mother of the groom offers several gifts to the bride, including a golden necklace or bracelet – the value of which you can be sure will be verified by the mother of the bride later.

Sephardic Jews do not take “Hénné” as seriously as Arabs do, but the ceremony still remains very popular because it is a way to remember their roots. There is a lot of Arabic music and belly dancing involved, as well as the eating of many Arabic pastries and sweets. Some families just take a few moments for this celebration; others take it much more seriously, donning djellabas – the traditional

The bride and groom from a French Jewish wedding that writer Alice Level attended. garments -- and Turkish slippers for the occasion. As fun as this ceremony is, people usually do not want to leave too late, because of what still remains to come on the following day.

Sunday is the big celebration day. Everyone gathers at the synagogue, which has been decorated with flowers for the occasion. The guests -- women on one side, men on the other -- wait for the bride and groom to arrive. When they finally do, the groom and his future mother-in-law enter first, followed by the bride and her future father-inlaw.

The bridesmaids, who are always children in France, are in charge of holding the bride’s veil or gown and distributing rose petals or candies. Along with the traditional wedding under the chupah, some like to perpetuate their own traditions. For example, Ashkenazic brides circle around the groom for seven times before taking their place under the chupah. Sephardim prefer to remind the couple that the first one to step on the foot of the other one after the wedding will be the one wearing the pants during the marriage – and if you know myself or my husband, you won’t have much trouble guessing who stepped on whose foot.

Now the ceremony under the chupah can take place. The rabbi -- remember, this is an Orthodox rabbi -- congratulates the families, gives a nice speech to the couple and reads in Hebrew the ketubah, the wedding contract.

The festivities, which will happen later, never take place at the synagogue, which in France would not be

equipped for celebrations. This leaves some time for the guests to change from their appropriate-for-synagogue attire to their evening or very formal attire. Everyone -- even kids are invited for a wedding party in France -- finally gathers at the venue. This is usually a castle, a mansion or any very elegant venue. Everybody comes fashionably late and waiters start serving amuse-bouche and drinks to the guests already there. The food served during this celebration has been carefully selected by the bride and groom, and must be artfully executed by the caterer, because the success of the wedding will largely depend on how satisfied the guests are with the food. So don’t think pasta station or hamburger station here. Think foie gras, pâté, canapés, duck, a rotating sushi bar, several kinds of fish, crusted veal or beef and the final coup de grace -- a dessert buffet. Ah, the dessert buffet! The more elaborate the buffet, the more the caterer will be revered.

At least 20 kinds of French pastries are offered: crêpes flambéed in front of the guests, fresh macaroons, crèmes brûlées, tarts, cakes, chocolate delicacies, fresh fruits from around the world, sorbets … and Pièce Montée – the wedding cake, which is almost always an elaborate arrangement of choux buns glued together with nougatine.

After a lot of dancing, eating and drinking, the Pièce Montée is finally served, only after which comes the moment the guests can start to leave without appearing rude.

Everyone is offered some dragées (sugar-coated almonds) to take home and the party soon comes to an end. Everyone leaves with a lot of memories to cherish … and a few more pounds to carry! Mazel tov!

FAMILY MOMENTS | HAKOL LEHIGH VALLEY | JANUARY 2014 7

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