Senior Living HAKOL July/August 2017

JULY/AUGUST 2017

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AV/ELUL 5777

JCC offers plethora of programs Older adults join together to play mahjongg at the JCC. On Wednesdays from 1 to 3:30 p.m., the auxiliary auditorium is reserved for any and all games of interest to participants.

New participants are always welcome!

Chair yoga is one of several classes offering opportunities for seniors to stay active. It offers a variety of options based on mobility, and also includes breath management techniques for stress and pain. Other exercise classes are available through Silver Sneakers.

Monthly craft classes at the JCC give the opportunity to create art while learning about the artistic process. From drawing to sculpting to painting, join the art classes, which are taught by Stephanie Bennett and take place on the third Thursday of the month.

Join the JCC for a second round of J-AMP!

The JCC has announced a second run of the 12-week Jewish-Focused Aging Mastery Program (J-AMP) class. J-AMP is the result of a partnership between the National Council on Aging (NCOA) and the Jewish Community Center Association of North America (JCCA).

J-AMP is designed to support adults in making the most of their gift of longevity. The program provides education, goal setting and daily practice for baby boomers, enabling them to make life changes to facilitate better aging. J-AMP includes expert speakers, group discussion and various levels of mastery aimed at improving the aging process.

The program focuses

on Jewish perspectives on aging, navigating longer lives, exercise, sleep, healthy eating and hydration, medication management, financial fitness, advanced planning, healthy relationships, prevention of falls, community engagement and living fully for the remaining years.

The pioneer group enjoyed the program very much. Twelve participants were able to attend most or all of the sessions. The graduating class celebrated at a luncheon on Feb. 15, 2017. Each participant received a gift, a certificate and a pin. Graduates of the pioneer class of 201617 include: Debbie Ovitz, Barbara Hoffman, Donna Black, Patty Glascom, Sheryl Block, Marjorie Weiss, Barbara Cohen, Eve Peterson, Joan Brody, Rony Ackerman, Linda Miller and Mike Miller. “The JCC is dedicated to supporting our entire adult community. I am very pleased how well the program ran," said Amy Sams, coordinator of adult programs at the JCC. "The participants not only learned from our expert speakers, but were also very engaged with each other. The JCC is excited to continue to offer the program and improve the lives of Jewish baby boomers and older adults in the Lehigh Valley.� Stay tuned for details about the next 12-week course, which will begin on Sept. 11.

Contact Amy Sams, adult programs coordinator at the JCC, at 610-435-3571 ext.

182 or asams@lvjcc.org to learn more.

2 JULY/AUGUST 2017 | HAKOL LEHIGH VALLEY | SENIOR LIVING

Finding a new home in Allentown

By Audrey Alexander Nolte and Miriam Alexander Special to HAKOL AUDREY: The prayer book states, “Life is a journey, not a destination.” My mother, Miriam Katz Alexander recently moved to Allentown. Judaism has impacted her entire journey. The chapters have been defined by her inner strength, flexibility, and optimism. We have the gift of time together.

MIRIAM: My father served in the German Navy during World War I. His talents gave him the opportunity to partner with a German family to rejuvenate their family business in the Bavarian village of Weisenberg. As Hitler gained power, our home became a sanctuary from the outside world. After my father’s arrest and release in 1935, we migrated to Hamburg in the hopes of a renewed life. Leaving out the sordid details, we emigrated to my uncle’s English home in 1936 and arrived in the United States in 1937.

Today’s immigration stories

bring back the joys, sorrows and instability of my early life. We moved at least once a year during my first decade in the United States.

AUDREY: Although my parents did not know each other in Hamburg, my father, Edgar, left Germany on the last Kindertransport out of Hamburg and spent 10 months in a British orphanage before arriving alone in the United States in 1939. He became an American citizen during U.S. Army basic training and returned to Germany to fight against the Nazis who destroyed his homeland. Dedication to social justice, education and cultural involvement, as well as my father’s military service, contributed to their American identity.

MIRIAM: During my 44year marriage to Ed, we lived in Newark, New Jersey, and moved to East Brunswick, New Jersey, six weeks before our twins were born. We loved the outdoors and were active campers, whitewater

kayakers and hikers. I continued my nursing education and completed my Masters degree from NYU. After a 35- year career, I retired as an assistant director of a diploma nursing school in 1988.

On an Elderhostel trip to Israel in 1995, my husband died of a heart attack in a bird sanctuary. It was a peaceful death for him, but a difficult journey for me. The highlight of that year was taking a 12day whitewater rafting trip through the Grand Canyon with a widowed friend. Our nicknames were Thelma and Louise. I remained in my home until 2012, when maintenance became too difficult, and moved into an apartment.

Despite my immigration and worldwide travels, leaving my hometown of 64 years was an unexpected transformation.

AUDREY: My mother began taking courses at Ollie RU and retirement classes at Rutgers University.

Her 20-year attendance exposed her to a variety of classes and kept her mind active. The friendships she made were deep and in-

spiring. Her curiosity and adventurous spirit carried her to Nepal in the 21st century where she rode an elephant.

MIRIAM: In recent years, I spoke with my children about moving close to one of them as my needs changed. Considering this last chapter in my life, Allentown appealed to me because of the time I already spent here, interests Audrey and I share and my comfort attending religious services. On June 1, I moved to Country Meadows. People

are so nice and I love the varied activities, especially the monthly Shabbat services and luncheons sponsored by Jewish Family Service. We have weekly Torah talks attended by residents of all faiths. I’m happy that my children don’t have to worry about me.

When I told my New Jersey friends I was moving, many people said, “How can you move? You don’t know anyone besides your daughter!”

I just smiled and said what I’ve already found to be true.

“I have friends there, I just haven’t met them yet.”

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AMERICANS OLDER THAN 65 LIVE ALONE as do half of those over 85.

Loneliness can accelerate cognitive decline in older adults, and isolated individuals are twice as likely to die prematurely as those with more robust social interactions.

(Source: “How Social Isolation is Killing” The New York Times. 12/22/2016)

To get our free guide, stop by our community, or visit us online at CountryMeadows.com/Maze. And you can always just give us a call to ask a question. We’re here to help.

410 N. Krocks Road, Allentown (minutes from Route 22 & I-78) • 610-395-7160 4035 Green Pond Road, Bethlehem (close to Routes 22 & 33) • 610-865-5580 / 175 Newlins Road West, Easton (in Forks Twp.) • 484-544-3880

Independent Living | Assisted Living & Personal Care* | Memory Care | Restorative Care* | Skilled Nursing** | In-Home Services* *Forks campus offers Independent Living, Assisted Living & Memory Care only. **Skilled nursing is available at our Bethlehem campus only.

Country Meadows offers services and housing without regard to race, color, religion, disability, marital status, ancestry, national origin, sexual orientation or gender.

SENIOR LIVING | HAKOL LEHIGH VALLEY | JULY/AUGUST 2017 3

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These volunteers have found

FREEDOM of movement

Meet food pantry volunteers Albert & Eva Derby

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Husband and wife Albert and Eva Derby team up over the summer to help Community Food Pantry clients receive fresh, healthy food.

Albert travels to Second Harvest Food bank in Nazareth to pick up milk and Monocacy Farm in Bethlehem to pick up fresh produce that he delivers to JFS once a week with round-trip driving time of 1.5 - 2 hours. Eva volunteers at the pantry for a 3-hour shift once a week; “I help clients select food and make them feel comfortable,” she said.

The couple first contacted food pantry coordinator Rose Miller, who was “gracious and welcoming,” and she set a date for Eva to come shadow other food pantry volunteers as they unloaded deliveries, stocked shelves and helped clients with food choice. “I walked into an environment of great respect for the clients and the staff, and a very positive environment. I knew that this was where I belonged,” Eva said. “I love grocery stores and I truly enjoy working with people and helping them, so here’s the best of two worlds in one volunteer job.”

Albert enjoys picking up the produce at Monocacy Farm and has formed a relationship with Bob Drake, the farm’s volunteer coordinator. The two enjoy seeing each other each week as Albert picks up the vegetables.

In terms of impact, Eva believes that the respect with which clients are treated at JFS is very important. “There’s a spirit of sharing between the volunteer and the client in terms of the food. Food is apportioned according to family size, so from the client's view, I believe they feel respected,” she said. She has noticed a respectful relationship between volunteers and clients, volunteers and JFS staff, and JFS staff and clients.

As for why Albert and Eva keep coming back to JFS, Eva explained, “I really want to emphasize how wonderful the staff is to each other and to the clients. The amount of respect and dignity within Jewish Family Service is so exemplary. I’ve been around the block, this is not my first [volunteer job], and I absolutely love being there.”

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How can you help HELP AT THE COMMUNITY FOOD PANTRY

Volunteers are needed to organize shelves and work with clients in the Community Food Pantry at Jewish Family Service, as well as transport donations to the pantry that are dropped off at the JCC. Starting in the fall, the food pantry will be open one Sunday per month and JFS will especially need volunteers interested in working that shift.

The Community Food Pantry is a resource for Jews dealing with food insufficiency 4 JULY/AUGUST 2017 | HAKOL LEHIGH VALLEY | SENIOR LIVING

throughout the Lehigh Jews in the 18104 zip c through June 2017, the for 287 households.

In the summer, JFS from local farms and h of the agency’s Plant a

WORK WITH OLDE IN RESIDENCES

Volunteers are needed Friday afternoon Shabb

r next meaningful opportunity?

d their passions through Jewish Family Service

eet Shabbat service leader Patty Glascom

Meet GO Program driver Bobbie Rudolph

the day of Patty Glascom’s most recent service at Atria, she had a le on her face the entire time. Throughout the service, which takes roximately half an hour, she seemed legitimately thrilled to bring Shabbat experience to the residents.

Preparation for the service depends on what’s happening that week, said – the program is prepared ahead of time, but Patty likes to pt it depending on how the residents respond, whether this means nging the tune of a prayer or switching which parts of the service leads and which parts she leaves for the residents.

Patty leads the service at Atria once a month. When asked why, she ponded, “It is my link to the generations that have come before me making that connection is very important.”

The social part of this link seemed particularly important to Patty, as ended up staying nearly half an hour in addition to the service time nteract with the residents. She describes this time as the most meanul part of the volunteer opportunity. When they enter the room, greets everyone by name, knows about what’s going on in people’s s and shares stories about her own family.

We talk about our aching backs,” she said, and she tries to figure out what she can do to help the residents enjoy a meaningful Jewish life. When one resident brought up a lack of access to holiday cards for Jewish holidays, Patty began bringing cards. She also welcomes feedback from the residents about what sort of programs they are interested in, and follows up with the residents once she hears from JFS volunteer coordinator Chelsea Karp and Carol Wilson, the clinical coordinator of older adult services.

Bobbie Rudolph has been a Go Program driver in the Lehigh Valley for three years and has provided 445 rides to older adults.

When Bobbie faced unexpected early retirement, she was looking for something to do, and found inspiration in a letter from JFS. The letter stated that they were offering three free rides a month to local older adults, and offered the opportunity for more drivers to sign up. She went through training and began driving her first clients.

Bobbie chose this volunteer opportunity because of her mother, who never drove. At the age of 16, Bobbie got a car and was expected to drive her mother everywhere. “At the time that I retired, my mother had passed away and I figured, I’ve experienced driving older people, so why not do it? I’ve been doing it ever since,” she said.

Bobbie’s role as a volunteer includes meeting each senior where they are, helping them get into the car as well as arranging any adaptive equipment like walkers, and dropping them off wherever they need to go. It also includes working with the seniors’ preferences – Bobbie has one client who hates if someone opens the door for her, whether it’s a car door or the door to a doctor’s office, so she learns each client’s wishes and respects them.

Without Bobbie's help, clients might otherwise have to wait a long time for transportation. One of her clients said that he used to have to wait an hour for a van from the grocery store, in which time his milk would go bad. Like driving oneself, Bobbie finds it important to be able to drop off and pick up her clients in a timely manner.

Bobbie made a particularly strong impact in the life of one woman who she gave rides to three times a week. By the time she hit 300 rides overall, 100 of these rides were for this same woman.

In October, she fell, and she now lives at Country Meadows, but when Bobbie saw her children at the High Holidays, they expressed appreciation for all she had done.

As for why Bobbie continues her volunteer work, “I enjoy the people.” Some Allentown residents knew her mother, and others are parents of friends who are still working and are unable to drive them around. Regardless of client background, “everybody seems to appreciate it and it makes me feel good,” she said. She is particularly appreciated for stepping back at doctors’ appointments – whereas the clients’ children tend to go into the doctor with them and ask questions, Bobbie waits in the waiting room with a book and gives them the autonomy they want. Overall, for Bobbie, “it’s being able to help people” that keeps her coming back.

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h Valley as well as noncode. From July 2016 e pantry provided food

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ER ADULTS

d once a month to lead bat services at older

Are you interested in helping older adults around the community?

Join JFS to make a difference by volunteering in these three areas: adult residences. Volunteers use a pre-constructed program to bring the joy of Shabbat to older adults at these residences, which includes readings, poetry, songs and the traditions of lighting candles, drinking grape juice and eating challah. JFS would like to bring this program to all Lehigh Valley residences with Jewish residents.

JFS is also looking for people who have an interesting topic that they'd like to share with the Jewish communities in various residential settings throughout the Lehigh Valley.

BECOME A GO PROGRAM DRIVER

As part of The GO Program, JFS volunteers provide rides for Jewish older adults who can no longer drive to medical appointments, beauty shop appointments, grocery stores and community events. The partnership between JFS and ShareCare Faith in Action has resulted in 983 rides over the past year. The program gives people autonomy, the opportunity to be active community members and the chance to be more self-reliant.

One drive, one way, once a month will

make a difference in our geographically expanding community. There is a particular need for Bethlehem residents. If you live in Bethlehem and have a few hours to give once a month, JFS can use you.

For more information about these opportunities, contact Chelsea Karp at 610-821-8722 or ckarp@jfslv.org, or check the website at www.jfslv.org/volunteer-center.

SENIOR LIVING | HAKOL LEHIGH VALLEY | JULY/AUGUST 2017 5

Friendship Circle offers programs, lunches for seniors Are you 50 years of age or older, and looking for activities, friendship and entertainment? Join Friendship Circle for fun programming and socializing with Jewish seniors at the Jewish Community Center of the Lehigh Valley.

Friendship Circle will begin a new year of programming on Sept. 11, 2017, which will continue through June 2018. Programs are held at the JCC on most Mondays, with a catered luncheon beginning at 11:30 a.m. followed by a program that ends at 2 p.m. In the past, Friendship Circle has featured a variety of programs, including music, comedy, speakers, juggling, singing groups, magic acts, dancing, bingo and much more.

In the next year, Friendship Circle is also planning to reintroduce light exercise in a chair led by Coach Terrence Baker of the JCC. A yearly membership fee of $30 is required, which includes the beginning and ending lunches. Each weekly program costs $6.

“Many of our members have been coming for several years,” said membership chair Lucy Wahrman, who encourages new members to join. To learn more about Friendship Circle, contact Wahrman at 610-820-5706.

Meet active Friendship Circle members HENRIETTE ENGELSON Henriette, the longest living member of Friendship Circle at 102 years old, still attends on a regular basis and looks forward to each meeting.

As part of the club, she has received the Mae & David Gabriel Award for Excellence and was president for several terms.

Two years ago, Friendship Circle helped her celebrate her 100th birthday.

In addition to Friendship Circle, Henriette has been active at the JCC, including teaching children to dance, and with Nearly New, a thrift clothing project, where she volunteers three days a week and at bi-annual sales.

According to Wahrman, Nearly New was started out of Friendship Circle by its founding members at a time when the club had over 100 members, most of whom attended regularly.

CYNTHIA WEINER Cynthia joined Friendship Circle six years ago, and is a “great asset,” according to Wahrman. She is currently the vice president of hospitality and is very active with

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1930 Bevin Drive Allentown, Pa 18104 6 JULY/AUGUST 2017 | HAKOL LEHIGH VALLEY | SENIOR LIVING

club functions. Her main responsibilities include ordering the weekly lunches and special occasion luncheons.

Cynthia also publishes the Friendship Circle’s weekly newsletter, which keeps every member up to date with birthdays, upcoming events and a Comedy Corner contributed by another longtime member, Jean Tilghman.

“The Circle has become my second family,” Weiner said. “The first luncheon that I attended, not being a shy person, I went around and introduced myself. I've been a member since and can't tell you how wonderful this has been for me … it gives me great personal satisfaction to help my ‘family.’

I will continue doing this for many years to come.”

JEAN TILGHMAN In addition to writing the Comedy Corner portion of the newsletter, Jean enjoys volunteering in the community. She runs the local AARP chapter, which, besides monthly meetings, runs bus trips to theaters and restaurants.

Join Yiddish Club for socializing and learning

By Michelle Cohen HAKOL Editor Thanks to Yiddish Club, I was able to greet my grandmother with “Ich hab dir lieb” (I love you), speaking Yiddish to her for the first time in my life.

The club, which has existed for over 20 years, meets in the board room at the Jewish Community Center of the Lehigh Valley on Tuesdays at 2 p.m.

Its purpose is twofold: to provide opportunities for making new friends and staying mentally active, and to recall a once-flourishing language not known by many people today.

Murray Bonfeld, who has been a member for five years, joined because “it’s important to keep the language alive.”

“Before World War II, Yiddish was the language of Jews around the world,” added Janis Mikofsky, a member of the club for five years. “Then, half of the Yiddish-speaking population died” in the Holocaust, making groups like Yiddish Club crucial to preserving the language. “We’re a tiny part of how it’s coming back,” she said, also noting the importance of performances and college classes in Yiddish.

Each member has gone on a unique journey to get to where they are in terms of language comprehension. Hank Cedar and several other members recalled how their parents used Yiddish as a secret language in the home, if they didn’t want their children to know what they were talking about. He and Mikofsky, who grew up with a similar situation, always wanted to learn Yiddish, and the club was an ideal setting.

Other members like Chet Ringel, who has been a member for 15 years, recall learning Yiddish in childhood. He joined the club for the “nostalgia for what existed when we were kids” and the language was more prevalent.

Anna Figlin, who also learned Yiddish in childhood, explained, “When I was younger, before World War II, people would come over from Germany,” and her mother would take the new immigrants shopping to help them learn English.

Living in New York City meant plenty of access to Yiddish stores on Park, 3rd, and 2nd Avenues. “I feel very comfortable with Yiddish,” Figlin said, adding that she has always enjoyed

reading stories from authors who wrote in Yiddish originally.

During meetings, Yiddish Club members read poems aloud, sing songs, and translate stories from Yiddish to English. On July 11, for example, Mikofsky brought a book called “Onions and Cucumbers and Plums,” edited and translated by Sarah Zweig Betsky, and selected a poem by famous Yiddish poet Itzik Manger to share with the group. The poem, entitled “The Binding of Isaac,” explores the Biblical moment through a dialogue between the father and son.

Club members went around the table reading lines aloud, commenting on the translation and looking up unfamiliar words in English-Yiddish dictionaries.

After the read-aloud and a short discussion of the poem, Mikofsky went to the auditorium with Paula Kaufman to practice a new song to bring to the group. The song was called “Should I be a Rabbi?” and focused on someone rejecting a variety of career options. Kaufman played the piano as Mikofsky learned the tune, and together they taught the song to the rest of the group.

After the song, other members brought out their materials. Ringel had a copy of Pakn Treger, the magazine of the Yiddish Book Center, a nonprofit focused on preserving Yiddish as a part of Jewish identity. Another member brought up www.yivo.org, the website of the YIVO Institute for Jewish Research, another resource for

Yiddish texts. Kaufman had a book of short stories, and she soon chose one to share with the group. As she read the story, she paused to translate, and members debated the meanings of words and phrases.

Although the main focus of the club is the language, members of Yiddish Club also enjoy time to talk before, during and after the meetings. They are also preparing to make some new friends at Country Meadows of Allentown as part of an event sponsored by the JCC and Jewish Family Service of the Lehigh Valley. For this event, “Yiddish Club on the Road,” members will travel to Country Meadows to bring the club to people who have a harder time with transportation.

For more information about this event, contact Amy Sams at 610-435-3571 ext. 182 or asams@lvjcc.com.

RSVPs are not necessary for weekly meetings, and whether you’re a Yiddish pro or want to learn something new, the friendly members of Yiddish Club always welcome new members.

Yiddish phrases for making friends Brush up on your Yiddish before your next Yiddish Club meeting with these phrases: Good morning/evening/night – Gut morgen/ovent/nacht.

What’s your name? – Eier nomen? Vi haist ir?

Glad to meet you – Tsufriden eich tsu kenen.

My name is… – Ich hais…

How are you? – Vos macht ir?

Very well, thank you, and you? – Zaier gut, a dank, un vos macht ir?

This is my first visit here. – Dos iz mein ershter bazuch do.

May I sit here? – Meg ich doh avegzetsen?

It was a pleasure to see you. – Es iz geven a fargenigen tsu eich zen.

Please speak slowly. – Zeit azoy gut, ret pavolyeh (pamelech).

I don’t understand, please repeat. – Ich farshtai nit.

Zeit azoy gut, chazert es iber.

Thank you – A dank.

You’re welcome – Nit do far vos.

SENIOR LIVING | HAKOL LEHIGH VALLEY | JULY/AUGUST 2017 7

How to write your memoir

By Michelle Cohen HAKOL Editor What is a memoir, and why should you write one?

A memoir is a type of nonfiction story in which a writer uses his or her lived experiences to teach, help, entertain or illuminate readers. It can relate to any memory, from a life-changing moment to what you had for breakfast.

The most common reasons I’ve seen for writing memoirs are a desire to share the story of something that’s happened to the writer, and to help the reader understand how the writer is feeling about this experience. Writing memoir can be cathartic, like journal-writing, but it is also inherently designed to be shared, meaning that a general understanding of basic writing principles can go a long way in telling a story.

Your writer’s voice The most important thing, when writing your own memories, is to realize that even if there was someone else in the world with the same exact experience as you, you would tell it in your own unique way. This distinction is commonly called a writer’s voice.

How can you tell what your voice will be? Some people are comfortable diving onto a blank page and seeing what happens, but others prefer to reflect about

what they like in a story. Think about stories you’ve heard in your life, whether from friends or family or from favorite books, essays or speeches. What made these particular examples so meaningful? Was it a description of chicken dinner that was so vivid you felt like you could taste it? Was it the way the person used exactly the number of words to get the job done, not dilly-dalling at all? These are the sorts of things that are best to try out for yourself. As a writer, think of what stories you would like to read, and that can help guide your way to telling the story only you can tell.

Showing vs. telling As a beginning writer, “show, don’t tell” is an extremely common piece of writing advice, but it can be difficult to interpret. Storytelling, by definition, is the telling of a story, so how can it be bad to tell?

Generally, this advice means to try to use sensory details to help the reader feel like they’re really there, experiencing the same thing the writer is. Smell, touch, taste, sight and sound – in addition to other, more nuanced senses like behavior, mannerisms and social norms – can help the reader understand how you were feeling at the time. This can take a variety of forms depending on your own style, but one of my favorite examples is from the Beatles’ song

“Eleanor Rigby.”

“Eleanor Rigby picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been,” essentially means the same as “Eleanor Rigby is lonely,” but the first phrase brings a vivid image to mind that helps readers insert themselves into the story of the song. As you write, try to reimagine yourself in the past, in whichever moment you’re trying to conjure, and try to paint a mental picture for the reader of what your experience was like.

Consider your audience There’s no correct audience – your audience depends on you. You might want to share the story you write with your family and friends or keep it to yourself. Either way, the writing process can be cathartic and enlightening. For memoir writers who choose to share their work, it can be helpful to see how other people have lived through similar experiences.

Memoir can also be written jointly with family or friends.

Recently, I heard about an exercise where grandparents and grandchildren share a journal. On the left page, the grandparent will respond to a prompt, like writing about their earliest school memory.

On the facing page, the grandchild responds to the same prompt. This can open doors for conversation about the similarities and differences in the two experiences.

Having trouble getting inspired?

HERE ARE SOME PROMPTS TO HELP YOU START YOUR MEMOIR WRITING JOURNEY. Who has been the biggest influence in your life? Tell the reader about them, and why they’ve been so important.

What was your family like growing up? Share a family experience.

Share a childhood interest, like a favorite sport or book.

Take the reader on a journey to your favorite vacation destination. What is so special about this place?

Who was your favorite schoolteacher or college professor? Who did that person inspire you to become?

Describe your favorite family recipe, but leave out the list of ingredients. What does this recipe mean to you, and where has it shown up in your life?

Write about your first or last graduation from school or a program.