August 2015 - Av/Elul 5775

Shofar Av / Elul 5775

Jewish Family Congregation www.jewishfamilycongregation.org

August 2015

August Service Schedule Shabbat Ekev, Deuteronomy 7:12 – 11:25 August 7

6 pm Shabbat Service at Ridgefield location

Shabbat Re’eh, Deuteronomy 11:26 – 16:17 Next Bar-B-Que August 31, hope you’ll join us

August 14

6 pm Shabbat Service at Ridgefield location. S’Mores Oneg Shabbat.

7:30 pm Shabbat Service at South Salem location

Shabbat Shoftim, Deuteronomy 16:18 – 21:9 August 21

6 pm Shabbat Service at Ridgfield location

Liv is this many years old

Shabbat Ki Tetze, Deuteronomy 21:10 – 25:19 August 28

6 pm Bar-B-Que at South Salem location. RSVP to office before Monday, August 24.

7:30 pm Shabbat Service at South Salem location

Lazy summer days...

From the Rabbi’s Desk President’s Message Religious School Early Childhood Center

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Ritual Committee Ask the Rabbi Yahrzeit/Birthday/Anniversary Donations

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

August 2015

From the Rabbi’s Desk

Thinking about Place and Space As I write this article (several weeks before publication), Jews around the world are getting ready to celebrate Shabbat Balak. In Parshat Balak (Num. 22:2-25:9), we read of the famous story of Balak’s desire to curse the Jewish people who he sees as a threat. Balak was the King of Moab, and he hires the prophet Balaam to prophesy against the Jews. Balaam agrees to take on this job, but tells Balak that he can only repeat what God tells him. In his first two attempts, Balaam does not successfully curse the Israelites, and Balak sends him back a third time. Instead of a curse, Balaam speaks the famous words of Numbers 24:5 -- “Mah tovu ohalecha Ya’akov, mishkenotecha Yisrael -- How lovely are your tents, O Jacob, your dwelling places, O Israel.” This verse of blessing is traditionally said by Jews upon entering a synagogue and also begins the morning service. What initially was intended to be a curse, becomes a blessing to the Israelites, a blessing that is used until today.

A midrash states that one of the reasons Balaam makes this statement of blessing is that he realizes upon looking down on the Israelite encampment that the entrance to each tent faces a different direction, thus providing a small sense of privacy from their neighbors. The ancient Israelite camp was designed to foster dignity and respect, even in close quarters. How and where we live makes a difference in our lives.

The way we design and live in “our space” can have a profound impact on our lives -- at home, at work, and in other places of comfort and importance. As we all know, the changing nature of our prayer space as a congregation creates many mixed emotions, including excitement and sadness, anticipation and nostalgia, hope and resignation. We are all unsure how much longer we will be able to enjoy the familiar and beautiful surroundings of our Smith Ridge Road location. Please know that when the appropriate time arrives to officially say goodbye to that space, we will mark that moment in a holy and meaningful way.

My hope is that you will spend some time in the Peaceable Street location to make it home. This feeling does not happen overnight, but only with the passage of time and familiarity. Our friends who have called the Peaceable Street building their home love it as much as we love the Smith Ridge Road building. I know that after spending some time there, you, too, will enjoy its charm, its spaces, its modern facilities and what it provides to our combined congregation. A new home does not become one instantly, but takes time and effort.

Although we may feel the sadness of saying goodbye to a special place, my hope is that you will realize what a blessing the new building is for our combined congregation. I know that it is challenging to change the place and space we love as a community. I hope that after a few visits, you, too, will proudly be able to say upon passing through the doors of our new congregation’s home, “Mah tovu ohalecha Ya’akov, mishkenotecha Yisrael -- How lovely are your tents, O Jacob, your dwelling places, O Israel.” In that way, we can continue our blessing into a new era.

Rabbi Marcus L. Burstein

Av/Elul 5775

Jewish Family Congregation 111 Smith Ridge Road P.O. Box 249 South Salem, NY 10590 Phone: (914) 763-3028 Fax: (914) 763-3069

Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

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From The Co-Presidents

By Glenn Kurlander and Hal Wolkin

In the last month, we have made significant progress in connection with the formation of our new synagogue. We’ve begun to hold more www.jewishfamilycongregation.org services together, giving us the opportunity to build new relationships and create a single, united community and a shared culture. The Rab————— bis and the Ritual Committee have made substantial progress planning for our first High Holy Day observances as one community, which as Rabbi you know will be held in the Ridgefield building. And we’ve begun to Marcus L. Burstein, D. Min. advance the many administrative matters that need to be accomrabbi@jewishfamilycongregation.org plished, such as the integration of systems and processes, and the ————— physical move from the South Salem building to the Ridgefield building. office@jewishfamilycongregation.org

Director of Education Leslie Gottlieb

As the veterans of large corporate mergers and combinations, we know that, at least for a time, the changes we experience as we progress in forming our new synagogue will feel a bit alien and perhaps Early Childhood Center Director even disconcerting to some of us, particularly those who have been Jane Weil Emmer members of one of the legacy synagogues for many years. It is natural jemmer@jewishfamilycongregation.org for us sometimes to feel uncomfortable when dealing with change. And we know that, at least for a time, there will be a natural and quite unAdministrator derstandable tendency to think in terms of “we” and “they,” no matter Kathleen Sakowicz which one of the two, as a historical matter, is our legacy synagogue. ksakowicz@jewishfamilycongregation.org But of course our goal should be to begin to think and feel in terms of Bookkeeper “we” and “us”—a new, expanded, stronger and enriched “we” and “us.”

lgottlieb@jewishfamilycongregation.org

Carol Wakeman

cwakeman@jewishfamilycongregation.org

————— Glenn Kurlander, Co-President Hal Wolkin, Co-President

president@jewishfamilycongregation.org

It is inevitable that there will be some bumps along the way. Some of us, acting with only the best of intentions, may say or do things that appear to others to be somehow a bit off, perhaps even a little insensitive. Language and actions matter deeply, and of course we should all do our best to be sensitive and thoughtful where the feelings and perceptions of all the members of our community are concerned, no matter which legacy synagogue they identify with as an historic matter.

Josh Blum, First Vice-President Suzanne Sunday, Second Vice-President Robyn Cohen, Treasurer But at the same time, we should also try our best, when feeling slightRichard Mishkin, Secretary executive@jewishfamilycongregation.org

Karen Conti, Trustee Jon Glass, Trustee Mindy Hoffman, Trustee Robi Margolis, Trustee Paul Storfer, Trustee Bonnie Wattles, Trustee

board@jewishfamilycongregation.org

Shofar Editor Kathleen Sakowicz Shofar Printer Copy Stop Royal Press

ed or offended might be an unchecked and natural reaction, to try to see past the perceived but unintended slight. To try to remind ourselves that, first, what we might perceive as a slight was certainly unintended and, second, that we should keep our eye on the ball. And for the two of us, keeping on our eye on the ball means reminding ourselves—when we might encounter bumps in the road—that the things that unite all of us deeply and profoundly as a community are so much more important than any small, largely transitory differences, we may from time to time observe.

In this regard, as we’ve said before, the future is ours to make. Those of us who have struggled with the concept of giving up a separate identity rooted in one or the other legacy synagogue may find ourselves at different stages in the cycle of acceptance. Perhaps we haven’t quite accepted yet; perhaps we’re hoping for the best but still Continued on page 8

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

August 2015

From the Religious School

By Leslie Gottlieb Dreams of a Collaborative Religious School Community In just a few short weeks, Religious School will open its doors at 46 Peaceable Street in Ridgefield for the first time-- as a new entity. Although we do not yet have a name for our establishment, we have two distinctive identities to unite and a new culture to create. I am confident that with everyone’s energy, creativity and support—this new effort will be superior to the two former school incarnations.

The most critical thing, to me, is to help to create a new and special community. On paper, this sounds obvious and simplistic but I do believe that this challenge is a great one considering all the new ways we will need to come together. We talk about a holy community in Judaism, a kehillah kedoshah, and this is important for creating a prayer minyan, but it also has another serious association.

Steven J. Rein from Park Avenue Synagogue wrote in the temple newsletter several years back, “The collective enables the individual to achieve an experience of prayer otherwise unattainable.

(Kadushin, Worship and Ethics) Prayer seeks to create an awareness of and sensitivity to the needs of other human beings. It is in these moments, our sages tell us, that a gathering of individuals is transformed into a kehillah kedoshah – a holy community. “ How is community created, really, in any situation or environment? How does it happen and who is responsible? Whether we are talking about a school or camp or sports team—how is that community defined and how does it define itself? What words would be used to describe it?

At the URJ Eisner Camp where many of our students attend (as well as Crane Lake, Harlam and other camps), campers refer to the place as being inside an enormous bubble. Is that a good thing? To campers, it is a magical zone. Once you are in the bubble, there is a feeling of being protected and happy. Even though campers experience “moments of sadness,” formerly referred to as homesickness, camp is a safe place and most campers eagerly pay attention to the start of the camp season with an official online countdown to the number of days until it begins. This goes on during the fall, winter and spring months and is exciting to observe. Even this particular phenomenon is interesting to note as it, too, is helpful in creating a certain tone that defines this community. In creating community— everything counts. Every opportunity needs consideration. It is difficult work but we cannot desist from trying at every turn.

Rabbi Burstein and I planned a trip to the Berkshires in July to visit our Eisner campers—those from TSI and JFC. We didn’t get to see all twenty or so campers because some of their time there did not overlap with our visit, but we made sure to make it into the bubble as we have for the past two years we have worked together. Rabbi Reiner spent time working there in July, too, and hopefully the JFC kids got to know him a little better. It takes time and opportunity to create bonds that make up a community-- but time alone is not the essential element. Combined effort counts a lot!

People are the secret ingredient to a special community. When people reach into each other’s lives in a meaningful way, there is a palpable energy that rises. Being a part of the group becomes infectious.

Everyone wants to join in. Everyone feels important and needed. There is a role for each individual and that is felt clearly. After this kind of rapport continues as people connect-- individuals no longer feel like a collection of single beings. There is a unifying spirit that arises whether it is in a ritual setting, in our case, or not. There is a feeling of reaching a goal-- together. There is a feeling of accomplishment that sets in but there is always the struggle to do more and be better.

This is my hope for our new school and synagogue. Ken yehi ratzon.

Av/Elul 5775

Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

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From the Early Childhood Center

By Jane Emmer

If there is one thing that the Early Childhood Center brings with us to our new home, our Ridgefield home, it is a sense of a community. We look forward to evolving and weaving the threads together to make one strong vibrant community.

When I use the term “creating community”‘ I am referring to that sense of belonging, of being a member of our team, of being someone we value in our classroom. I am referring to the idea that every child has something amazing to offer and can make a difference in our school. I am referring to how the set-up and look of our classrooms will make children feel. And I am referring to how we will help our students feel genuinely connected to each other, to the teachers, to the environment, and to the processes we explore throughout each day.

But the big question of the day is “how do we create a sense of community?” To create a community we need to actually consider not only our physical space but our cognitive and emotional space. We want to see warmth and beauty in the classrooms. The teachers create that sense of community. We are blessed to bring with us magical educators, Alison Brodoff, Ellen Goldstein, Dinah Rader and Lynn Kassel. We are also lucky to find two new teachers, Gernine Tuckner and Meredith Eichner. I am confident that the community this team will create will be inspirational.

To help create the emotional and cognitive environment, we look for ways to personalize our classroom. We invite families to send in photos of the children and their family members to post around the classroom This gives children a sense of unity and helps them feel connected to each other.

Personalizing the classroom with children’s artwork and even their names can help to give children that critical sense of belonging.

Finally, I want to share that creating community is not a lesson, it’s a way of life. Building a sense of caring for each other doesn’t happen by reading one book about friendship.

Building a sense of belonging doesn’t happen by playing one game. Having that warmth and beauty in the classroom doesn’t happen by simply setting up a warm and beautiful environment. Instead, creating a sense of community is a year-long commitment. As we genuinely and lovingly invite students to be a part of everything we do in the classroom and help them find success, we find that sense of community starting to come to life.

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

August 2015

From the Ritual Committee

By Michael Salpeter

One hundred fifty years after the end of the Civil War we were reminded of the continuation of racism in the US by the tragic murders of Rev. Clementa Pinckney and eight of his congregants inside Emanuel AME Church in Charleston. For our family we were touched deeply as our son Dylan who resides in Charleston participated in visiting the church as well as joining hands with perhaps 20,000 others in solidarity on the Ravenel Bridge. In fact we are aware that anti-Semitism also continues to be a problem around the world as evidenced by the attack on a kosher supermarket in Paris earlier this year.

At that time, 150 years ago, the Jewish population of the US was quite small. The estimate for the number of Jews in this country at the time of Abraham Lincoln’s election is said to be about 150,000 (compared to approximately 6 million today). The spring 2015 edition of the Jewish Review of Books contains a review of a non-fiction work entitled Lincoln and the Jews: A History authored by Jonathan D. Sarna and Benjamin Shapell. They strive to show that his interaction with Jews was unique for the 19th century.

When Lincoln was initially elected to the Illinois legislature he met Jewish people for the first time: Louis Saltzenstien a postmaster, Julius Hammerslough a haberdasher, and Abraham Jonas a lawyer and politician. It was Jonas who urged Jewish voters to support Lincoln by chastising the Buchanan administration in its handling of the Mortara affair (read about this at http://www.jpost.com/JewishWorld/Jewish-Features/This-Week-in-History-The-Mortara-Affair-317437 ). Despite this attempt at support, most Jews in 1860 voted for the Democrat Stephen Douglas as they feared that by abolishing slavery there might be interruption of cotton production, thereby threatening the clothing trade involving many Jews. Regardless, as President, Lincoln appointed Jews to prominent posts and dealt with them without prejudice in cases of reprimand or punishment.

In December 1862, Ulysses Grant issued an order expelling Jews from the territory under his command as he believed that Jews were present in the war zone for the purposes of “commercial speculation.” Lincoln, having heard about this order from one of the expellees, ordered that it be revoked.

On the book’s last page Sarna writes that Lincoln “interacted with Jews, represented Jews, befriended Jews, admired Jews, commissioned Jews, trusted Jews, defended Jews, pardoned Jews, took advice from Jews, gave jobs to Jews, extended rights to Jews…. His connections to Jews went further and deeper than those of any previous American president.” It was only fitting then as the news of Lincoln’s death spread across the country early on Shabbat morning after being shot the previous evening that rabbis were the first clergy to eulogize the President.

We can only hope that if Lincoln were able to take a stand and effect change in the 1860’s that we can take a stand in the 21st century to help eliminate prejudice facing our society. Join with us as we continue our congregation’s presence in Westchester and Fairfield counties, perhaps also joining in our social action program or perhaps by working in your own particular way.

Av/Elul 5775

Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

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Ask the Rabbi

What are some of your pet peeves with Hebrew words and their usage?

I’d like to share three pet peeves that challenge me -- and many other rabbis. Hopefully you will find this very brief Hebrew language “lesson” informative and helpful.

1. Use of the word “bar mitzvah” or “bat mitzvah.”

One does not “get bar mitzvahed” or “have a bat mitzvah.” Rather one “becomes a bar/bat mitzvah.” Technically speaking, according to Jewish law any Jew who reaches 13 years and 1 day old becomes responsible for his/her religious obligations. This occurs whether or not one is called to the torah. We can celebrate a bar/bat mitzvah ceremony or service.

Also the plural of bar/bat mitzvah is not “bar/bat mitzvahs” -- rather it is “b’nai mitzvah” (for boys or for boys and girls) and “b’not mitzvah: (for girls only).

2. Use of the word “oneg.”

The word “oneg” means delight. We are commanded to celebrate and to delight in Shabbat. Sharing food and conversation with friends and family following Shabbat services is one way to delight in Shabbat. While one can attend and participate in an “oneg,” it is more precise to say “Oneg Shabbat” for the reception that follows Shabbat services. The plural of “Oneg Shabbat” is “Ongei Shabbat.”

3. Use of the word “birkat.”

The word for blessing in Hebrew is “bracha.” When we want to refer to a particular blessing (as in “the blessing of X”), the word changes to “birkat” and is followed by the specific word for that blessing. For example, the Birkat HaMazon is the Blessing after the Meal. Sometimes this blessing is erroneously referred to as “the birkat,” which effectively means “the blessing of” (and leaves off what the blessing is for).

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

August 2015

Continued from page 3—Co-Presidents’ message

standing on the sidelines waiting to see how it goes; perhaps we’ve embraced it wholeheartedly and are excited to be a part of something new and promising. In any event, as summer wanes and we begin to prepare ourselves for a season of introspection, we should be introspective about what really matters to us as Jews and what we most want from our community, as well as what it means to be a member of a community, and what we might owe it in return.

Glenn Kurlander and Hal Wolkin

Scheduling Weddings or Funerals with Rabbi Burstein

Rabbi Burstein wants very much to be with you during significant life-cycle moments.

Please speak with him before setting any dates or times for weddings or funerals. Don’t be disappointed to learn he is not available at the time you’ve already arranged, bring him “into the loop” at the very beginning of your planning.

Check our website in the coming weeks for High Holy Day Information.

www.jewishfamilycongregation.org

Av/Elul 5775

Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

August 2015

Please call the JFC Office when any relevant information arises or changes so all Birthday, Anniversary and Yahrzeit listings are accurate and up to date.

ANNIVERSARIES Frank & Susan Andrade Jeffrey Berg & Debra Paget Theodore Bloch & Lisa Block Adam & Robyn Cohen David & Sally Firestein Andrew & Amy Fishkin Allan & Ellen Goldstein Lawrence & Leslie Gottlieb Richard & Lydia Hellinger David & Erica Levens Harold & Ruth Ossher Harry & Sandra Rosenhouse

BIRTHDAYS Zachary Amerling

Dr. Allan Gottlieb

Adam Andrade

Abbey Grzymala

Charlotte Bellinson

Alexander Junquera

Samantha Berg

Spencer Kane

Richard Bersch

Peter Kaplan

Cole Brand

Spencer Kaplan

Jason Breslin

Hillary Lavin

Debra Cohen

Dylan Leitner

Rick Cohlan

Justin Lipper

Matthew Duckett

Rebecca Mishkin

Jane Emmer

Elisabeth Rich

David Firestein

Alan Sanders

Dillon Firestein

Luca Segalla

Sally Firestein

Aspen Shafer

David Fischer

Skylar Shafer

Andrew Fishkin

Steve Shainmark

Nate Fishkin

John Stern

Lillian Gilbert

J. J. Stevelman

Michael Gitlitz

Zoe Vandervelden

Kenneth Gordon

Daniel Westlake

YAHRZEITS Helga Allen Ferdinand Aufsesser Jerry Blum Sadie Dutka Sam Feinleib Richard Glass Julius Goodman Lila Gordon Leo Klotz

Dina Leitner Claire Markham Edward Joel Mendell Dax Nemerov Henry Salmon Joseph Salpeter Hugo Sternberger Janet Treitman

Have you considered celebrating significant birthdays and anniversaries with a leaf on our Simcha Tree of Life?

Call the JFC Office for details.

Please Support Our Advertisers

Av/Elul 5775

Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

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Av/Elul 5775

Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

Collaborative Religious School Summer Lunch & Learn All Registered & New Students Welcome Save the Date: Thursday, August 20, 2015 Location: 46 Peaceable Street, Ridgefield, CT Join us for lunch from 12:00-1:00 pm‌parents & siblings, too!

Following lunch there will be two fun learning sessions for students entering: Grades 2-4 & Grades 5-7 Students will attend one program & then switch to the other (12:00-2:00 pm) Hebrew: Review & Games Culture: Israel & Holiday Review & Games Please rsvp by August 18 by 12:00 pm to:

Leslie Gottlieb, Director of Education at: lgottlieb@jewishfamilycongregation.org Long-time JFC member and teacher

Rona Salpeter is available to help with: babysitting, house sitting, animal care—& all jobs requiring a loving caring individual!

References are available upon request.

Contact Rona at # 914-643-8176

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

August 2015

Attention all Students Entering Grades 8 & 9 Eligible for Confirmation I & II

Join us for a No Fee Pizza Dinner Whether or not you are already registered for Religious School in the fall, please join Rabbi Burstein, Rabbi Reiner and Director of Education, Leslie Gottlieb for a fun summer night of including dinner!

Thursday, August 20, 6 - 7:30 pm at 46 Peaceable Street, Ridgefield, CT RSVP to: Leslie Gottlieb at lgottlieb@jewishfamilycongregation.org or (914)763-3028

Donations Caring Committee Michael & Rona Salpeter Drs. Ethan David & Michael Salpeter

In memory of Allen Alexander In memory of Irving Greenberg

General Fund Richard & Bobbie Cohlan

In memory of Allen Alexander

Rabbi Discretionary Fund Aaron & Susan Shapiro The Wolkin/Goldfield Families Hal & Laurie Wolkin

On the occasion of Emily Wein's Bat Mitzvah In memory of Phyllis & Abraham Goldfield In honor of Allen Alexander

Donations made after the tenth of the month will appear in next month’s Shofar.

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar

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Non Profit Organization Postage PAID White Plains, NY Permit No. 9022

Summer Fun headed outdoors

CURRENT RESIDENT OR

Jewish Family Congregation and Temple Shearith Israel’s SUMMER BARBECUE ~ FRIDAY, August 28 at Jewish Family Congregation, 111 Smith Ridge Road, South Salem, NY 6:00 pm BBQ and Shabbat sing-a-long 7:30 pm Shabbat Service

RSVP before noon, Monday, August 24 office@jewishfamilycongregation.org 914-763-3028

Make sure to check out our calendar for up to date events at www.jewishfamilycongregation.org