A life cycle moment

Rabbi Adam F. Miller

In 2003, David Roher was the first student whose bar mitzvah I participated in as an ordained rabbi, at Temple Beth El of Northern Westchester. The senior rabbi asked me to start the service, while he planned to take the main role. One of the smallest in his bar mitzvah class, I towered over David on the bimah. Seeing the nervous look in his eyes as he stood next to me, I leaned in and whispered, “Go easy on me, it’s my first bar mitzvah.” David laughed, and off we went.

A couple of weeks later, Eric Levy earned the distinction of being the first bar mitzvah where I took the main role. Bright and passionate about his Jewish identity, Eric and I bonded over the experience. He went on to be president of the youth group when I was the advisor and, later, made Aliyah to Israel, where I visited him during my last trip.

Over the course of my 18 years in the rabbinate, I officiated at more than 500 b’nai mitzvah, including two sets of triplets! I had the privilege of watching those young men and women ascend the bimah as children and descend as young adults, eager to embrace their new title and place in the Jewish community. Some showed aptitude for reading Torah, many demonstrated remarkable courage as they overcame obstacles, and several shared a gift for teaching and speaking. Truth be told, all of those students left me feeling proud of their accomplishments.

Yet, none of that prepared me for what will happen on Nov. 6, as our oldest sons, Jonah and Gabriel, stand before the congregation at Temple Shalom to mark their b’nai mitzvah.

When we first visited Naples, my wife, Jennifer, and I asked ourselves if we could see our children reaching this milestone here. The answer was a resounding “yes,” and that led us to choosing Temple Shalom. Now that the day is here, it is hard to express all the emotions I feel in anticipation of this very personal life cycle experience. Preparing what I will say to the boys has proven to be more difficult than writing sermons for High Holy Days!

While I may need some more time to work on what to say, there is no doubt in my mind that this life cycle moment will be sweeter, because we are able to share it with our community. One reason we delayed a year, from 2020 to 2021, was to enable more of our community and family to attend in person, even with spaced seating and masks.

Jonah and Gabriel grew up at Temple Shalom, arriving when they were only 2½ years old. From Temple Shalom Preschool through today, Temple Shalom and the Naples Jewish community have been part of their lives. We joyfully invited our Temple family to join in the joy of this simcha with our family. The service will be broadcast as a livestream on the Temple website and Facebook, and we welcome the community to join us virtually.

According to one text, when God gave Torah to Israel, God asked for a guarantor. The Israelites offered their faithful ancestors as well as the great prophets, yet neither was sufficient. Finally, they offered their children, and their children’s children, indicating that they would pass Torah from one generation to the next. Satisfied with that answer, God gave Torah to our people.

Jennifer and I look forward to the moment when we pass Torah to Jonah and Gabriel. Adding them as the latest link in the sacred chain of our tradition. From Sinai until now. L’dor va’dor – generation to generation. May we all keep that chain alive.

Rabbi Adam Miller serves at Temple Shalom.