A.I.? Oy vei!

Zoog mir in Yiddish

By Sol Awend, GenShoah SWFL

I tried it. I really thought I could pull it off and, in turn, pull one over on you.

But alas, siz nisht geh gaangen (it didn’t go).

With all the computerization going on, I thought I could go to Gemini and write a story on A.I. Come to find out, the Yiddish version of A.I. is really Oy vei! Think about it. How are you going to take a 1,000-year-old language and adapt it to a myriad of locations that Jews have inhabited around the world, then add different dialects and subtle variations of words and feelings that experienced Yiddish speakers grapple with and transliterate it?

I was going to write about my mother’s experience working in the ammunition factory during the war making po t’shiskes (bullets). Do you think someone from France or Holland could relate? Neither could the computer. After the first sentence, the computer stopped and yelled, “Vart ah minute!” (Wait a minute!). Ich fah shtei dec’h nisht! (I don’t understand you!) Dee retz’t nisht mit ah Litvishen ahksent! (You’re not speaking with a Litvak accent!)

Then, I switched to the culinary arts and wrote about Shabbos dinner and my mother serving lokshen mit yowech (noodles and chicken soup). The computer responded, dee meinst lox un bygels? (You mean lox and bagels?) I thought to myself, Guy, red t’zi dee vaant (Go talk to the wall).

Looking further, I found a song-writing program that could produce lyrics and music! Absolutely fantastic. I had it write a love song, in a country and western melody, sung by a young fellow with a drawl. The name of the song?

“I Tried to Break Her Heart But I Broke Her Arm.” Go have A.I. translate that into Mameh Looshen! You should hear the lyrics — they would bring treren t’zeh dee oygen (tears to one’s eyes).

In this world of computers, I’m sure there are plenty of Yiddlec’h running around and creating the future of what’s what. But as much as I understand about Yiddish is about how little I know about technology. In the same meining (meaning) of how much is understood about technology, think about how little is known about Yiddish.

I can’t wait for them to intersect. Then A.I. will go from Oy vei! to Oy vei! Ah broch! (Oh no! A calamity!)