Tis the Season

‘Tis the Season

Jane Conoley, Ph.D. | President, California State University at Long Beach

“‘Tis the season” as December appears, laden with dozens of religious and cultural observances that vary by religious identity, geographical location, ethnicity, and other characteristics. In our nuclear family, December means Hanukkah and Christmas, but we know those of the Wicca faith are celebrating Yule and our African American brothers and sisters are meditating on the values of Kwanzaa. Our Latinx friends observe Las Posadas, our Pilipino friends celebrate the nine masses of Simbang Gabi, and Catholics treasure Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve. Our Buddhist colleagues remember Bodhi Day on Rohatsu, when Buddha’s time under the Bodhi Tree resulted in the birth of their path to enlightenment.

There’s a lot happening in this season, although almost all is drowned out by the ubiquitous commercialization of Christmas. This brings me back to our almostannual Hanukkah and Christmas experiences when our three children, their spouses, and five grandchildren gather. Haley, Michael, Declan and Nola’s moms, Samantha Riseman and Liz Plotkin, are Jewish. Jack’s Mom, our daughter Colleen, and her husband Greg, seem vaguely Christian, though they mostly identify with their very progressive political views – which fortunately, for family peace, are pretty generally shared among all the adults. Whew!

Our formula for holidays was established early. We have menorahs to light Hanukkah candles with the shammash, as well as a Christmas tree. We sing Jewish prayers along with the children and their moms, and we buy or prepare traditional treats like chocolates wrapped in gold foil, latkes and jelly doughnuts, and the perhaps not-so-traditional but delicious chocolate-covered matzahs. We give the children small gifts for eight days and have a gift-giving extravaganza on Christmas morning. We hang stockings and play Christmas carols and read the story of the long-burning lamps and the victories of the Maccabees against the Seleucide Empire.

We sometimes talk about the different beliefs that characterize Jewish and Christian thought, including, for example, very different perspectives on the existence of a

heaven, as well as similarities such as Christian confession and the Jewish call to seek forgiveness on Yom Kippur. After all, all the very early Christians were either Jewish or had to become so before being accepted as followers of Christ. We, of course, have attended Bar and Bat Mitzvahs for our two oldest grandchildren and for nieces and nephews of our daughters-in-law. Sadly, we have also attended Jewish funerals, including those of Milt and Judy Riseman. We are always welcome in Jewish spaces.

At a Thanksgiving dinner, the now 12-year-old, when asked what he is most thankful for said, “that I’m Jewish.”

Some readers may fear that our sequential and overlapping celebrations may undermine the connection our Jewish grandchildren have to their heritage. This has not seemed to happen. Each one strongly identifies as a Jew due, I think, to the good work of their mothers and now a stepmom, Beth, and the cooperation of their dads. They want to know more about their faith/culture and feel bad for me when I stumble over Hebrew words in children’s books that I read to them. At a Thanksgiving dinner, the now 12-year-old, when asked what he is most thankful for said, “that I’m Jewish.” His Jewish grandmother, Judy Riseman, looked up at Collie and me with some distress, feeling that we may feel affronted, but our hope is that each of our children and grandchildren find their own ways in connecting to a personal and, perhaps shared, spirituality and certainly to all their family roots.

Of course, we recognize that being in a “majority” religion in a particular place contributes to a sanguine attitude that is unlikely to be shared by those in a small minority religion that is often victimized by haters. We have the privilege of not worrying that valued and precious traditions might disappear if not nurtured and protected by every family in our group.

The Conoley family has become wiser, more cosmopolitan, and more accepting by having the opportunity to take part in the important holidays of two religions … and we haven’t even mentioned Easter!