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April 3, 2020

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APRIL 3, 2020 | The Jewish Home

DER THE

Wishing all of ‫ כלל ישראל‬a

‫חג כשר ושמח‬

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APRIL 3, 2020 | The Jewish Home

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APRIL 3, 2020 | The Jewish Home

Dear Readers,

B

we can be assured that however our seder is conducted, we are fulfilling the mitzvah just as beautifully as in other years.

“Kol dichfin yesei v’yaichol...” We begin the seder with a proclamation inviting guests to join us at our seder. Who are the guests this year? Which new faces will we see around the table? Perhaps this year the guests can be ourselves – we can bring a new dimension of ourselves to the seder. Maybe we usually are not that involved in the discussions at the seder; this year we will have no choice but to be fully engaged and to give our children a memorable seder. Maybe we usually fall asleep before the end of the haggadah; well, this year, many of us will certainly be well rested. How nice would it be if we sat as a family and sang Chad Gadya together? Or acted out Echad Mi Yodea?

Sometimes we can get stuck in our personalities or in our roles in our families, but this year, in the spirit of things being so different, we, too, can show ourselves and our families a different persona. The uptight brother can become more easygoing; the taciturn teenager can show her more outspoken side. Mah nishtana ha’laila ha’zeh? Perhaps it can be you – in a good way.

May this year’s Pesach offer us a taste of the ultimate redemption and herald besuros tovos and deliverance for us all.

y the time we all sit down to the seder this year, we are going to know our family members really well, won’t we?

Practically every person I have spoken with over the past few weeks has told me how amazing their kids have been during this time and how they have risen to the challenge. Yes, children like not having to go to school – but that got old pretty fast. Even so, they have been keeping themselves entertained, have remained positive, and have reminded us that it’s OK to laugh, things will return to normal again.

When we sit down at the seder with our children next week, even if they are not behaving exactly how we envision they should at our model sedarim, we can remember just how good they have been over the past month. Sure, they may not be able to regale us with as many divrei Torah as they do every other year. And they may not have the most decorated Pesach haggadahs to display. But the questions they’ll ask and the comments they’ll make will add a true spirit to us leaving Mitzrayim and will give a new dimension to the directive of v’higaddeta l’bincha.

On Pesach night, we can, and should, find freedom from our expectations – perhaps that is the ultimate freedom. We can be content in how our seder is conducted, happy in how everyone is involved. We can teach our family songs that we know, tell them stories of Pesachs from our youth, laugh at silly circumstances that tend to crop up. Looking at the silver lining in our confined situation,

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Wishing you a chag kosher v’sameach, Shoshana

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Shabbos Zemanim

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APRIL 3, 2020 | The Jewish Home

Contents LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

8

COMMUNITY Readers’ Poll Community Happenings

8 34

NEWS

78

Global

12

National

26

Odd-but-True Stories

30

ISRAEL Israel News

22

My Memories of Mystical Tzfat by Ahron Rosenthal

68

JEWISH THOUGHT 54

Rabbi Wein on the Parsha

The Challenges of Finding Our Chametz by Rav Moshe Weinberger 56 Parsha in Four by Eytan Kobre

60

The Story We Tell by Rabbi Jonathan Sacks

62

Passing Over Time by Shmuel Reichman

64

PEOPLE The Wandering Jew

72

When the Lubavitcher Rebbe Self-Quarantined for the Seder by Rabbi Pini Dunner 76

30

Master Storyteller Rabbi Yitzy Erps on the Art of Storytelling by Malky Lowinger 78 Finding the Ultimate Freedom Behind Bars by Shawn Balva 80

Turning the Tide in the Middle East by Avi Heiligman

104

HEALTH & FITNESS What is Trauma? by Dr. Deb Hirschhorn

88

Preparing for Pesach by Aliza Beer, MS RD CDN

90

Engaging Your Children in the Pesach Seder

92

FOOD & LEISURE The Aussie Gourmet: Salted Butter Brownies

96

Pesach Recipes

98

Dear Editor, “Where have you been all my life?!” It is a beautiful happenstance when individuals come into one’s life unexpectedly and yet the shift from stranger to loved one is flawless. I personally savor these moments. The reaction is often met with the proclamation above. I am grateful to have met my friend Jacob this way. Jacob is a positive, vibrant, adoring, kindhearted and generous 89-year young man. Jacob’s positivity is quite unbelievable and would be unfounded for the rest of us. As a survivor from the Holocaust, Jacob shows no remnant of gloom or distrust in G-d, which alone is a phenomenal feat. My pious friend is not one who is adamant or stringent about each of the laws and commandments that we as a people follow. Nor is he strict about kosher or Shabbos observance. I do not believe he is religious as many people who are frum would reference the word ‘religious.’

However, my friend Jacob is the most religious person I know. He is religious beyond all standards. He is gentle and kind, thinks about his words prior to saying them, and lives happily with simplicity. He is genuine, loyal, and always offers a fond smile to those around him. He strives to do his best, regardless of what others may say or think. Those are important mitzvos, may even be the most important. He may not follow each commandment as instructed by the Book, but he follows his heart and holy soul. Hence, emulating G-d.

Jacob recently was given the opportunity to be reunited with his faith in a very intimate way and his joyous reaction was, “I am going to be Yid-

dishe again!” May we all have the insight to see the opportunities that we have and simply be delighted to be a Jew. Ruthie Nadel Dear Editor, Your question in the dating panel this week brought to the fore how so many aspects of life that we took for granted are challenged during this time.

In terms of dating, there should be no problem with potential matches speaking on the phone or even Facetiming during these few weeks. Shidduchim do not need to be put on hold.

On the contrary, you can continue to find out information and take the first steps into shidduchim during the next few weeks.

In terms of Facetiming, I believe that it could be a good idea for couples to Facetime but too much electronic “dating” could be detrimental. Too much texting or even Facetiming may make the shidduch process a “hobby” as opposed to a pursuit of a goal towards marriage. I would caution couples to limit Facetiming to twice a week to make sure this doesn’t happen.

Wishing that we will all see yeshuas and refuahs very soon!

Sincerely, Suri L. Dear Editor, Loved the Wandering Jew column this week!

I, too, am a big fan of Chabad. I admire the strength and determination of Chabad families all over the world Continued on page 10

LIFESTYLES Dating Dialogue, Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LCSW

84

Ordered Freedom by Naphtali Hoff, PsyD

94

Your Money

108

Eke Out a Smile by Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., CLC, SDS

110

HUMOR Centerfold 52 POLITICAL CROSSFIRE Notable Quotes

100

Trump Understands What His Critics Don’t by Marc A. Thiessen

102

Who Can Lead a Post-Coronavirus America? by David Ignatius

103

CLASSIFIEDS

106

Do you enjoy eating macaroons on Pesach?

42

%

YES

58

%

NO

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who go on shlichus with mesiras nefesh and with complete happiness. Because of their resolve and self-discipline there is nary a place around the world where one cannot find a kosher meal and a warm heart. What an amazing symbol of mi k’amcha Yisroel!

Yisroel Gordon Dear Editor, I sign on. I smile at myself and think, “a total reformation to the education system.” My parents are both

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ORGANIZING PICTURES ON YOUR COMPUTER WORKSHOP

educators and are getting to learn how to give classes over video chat. I act as a student for my dad to practice.

But, because this is only a practice, I quickly open up my email, an essay I am working on, turn on my music, and open WhatsApp. Since I am on mute and looking at my computer screen, my dad sees me “attentively” focused on him as he starts to “teach” me in this trial run of class. I explain to him that although I appear to be paying attention, I am really doing a multitude of other things unrelated to “class.” I

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see his face drop. My father is worried how he will ever get his students to pay attention when the distractions are so easy to come across.

Being a college student myself, I can speak to this phenomenon. I do almost all of my work on my computer, and I think I am talented enough to multitask listening to my professors while I text a friend, shop online, and plan my schedule for next semester. I begin to fear how the semester of distance learning will be successful and try to motivate myself to withstand the

constant distractions present. After my dad’s first video chat session with his class, he explains that even though it seems the students are paying attention to him, it really is obvious that everyone is doing different things. Facial expressions, constant movement, or the camera going on and off are giveaways that show the students’ inability to focus through the new platform we call our classrooms.

After beginning my own distance learning, I began to see exactly what my father was talking about. I see my classmates all in their respective homes and different styles and levels of comfort dress our backgrounds while we less than halfheartedly listen to our teacher. This is where the importance of being engaged takes the spotlight.

Our teachers can see us and see how we are acting and reacting to every situation. We are given the challenge – and in the grand scheme of things, this is truly a privilege rather than a challenge – to focus and be engaged in our classes and recognize that we are on camera and we are being graded based on our attendance.

Through all of COVID-19 and the effects it has had on our community thus far, we keep hearing how there must be something G-d wants from us at this time. We must try changing some aspect of our lives whether that be the way we speak to others, appreciate life, or focus on our Judaism. I think a lesson I am beginning to learn loudly and clearly is the lesson of always being on camera.

I am not only on camera when I log onto a class session, shiur or virtual concert. Even when my camera on my phone or computer is off, the Real Camera remains on, constantly. I shouldn’t only look interested and invested when I think I am being watched, whether that be by my teacher, classmates or community. I should be living my life in a genuine way. I should live my life as if my camera is always recording on my computer. This camera has a microphone attached to it. I should be watching what I say, what I do, and how I spend my time. Now more than ever this can be a wakeup call for us.

Our lives are trackable, and we one day will be held accountable for all of our actions. Why don’t we let today be the first day we start living with this recognition?

Each time we turn on our virtual cameras it should act as a reminder that The One Above constantly has His camera on us. We are the center of His attention. This is both flattering and extremely frightening to stomach.

A Reader

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APRIL 3, 2020 | The Jewish Home

The Week In News

Venezuelan Leaders Charged

The U.S. Department of Justice hit senior Venezuelan leaders, including President Nicholas Maduro, with a slew of criminal charges on Monday.

Maduro and the other officials from Venezuela’s military, legislature, and government were charged with narcoterrorism and drug traf-

ficking. The indictments were filed in New York’s Southern District, Washington, D.C., and Miami.

The State Department also designated them as international drug traffickers and issued a $15 million bounty for any information that would lead to Maduro’s arrest and conviction. Prosecutors accuse the aforementioned officials of collaborating with Columbia’s FARC terror group to send massive amounts of cocaine into the United States.

“We estimate that somewhere between 200 and 250 metric tons of cocaine are shipped out of Venezuela… Those 250 metric tons equates to 30 million lethal doses,” said the Justice Department.

Other than Maduro, officials who were charged include Diosdado Cabello Rondón, leader of Venezuela’s National Constituent Assembly; Defense Minister Vladimir Padrino Lopez; Supreme Court Chief Justice Hugo Armando Carvajal Barrios; and ex-military intelligence chief Clíver Antonio Alcalá Cordones.

Venezuelan Foreign Minister Jorge Arreaza denied the charges on Monday, slamming the Trump administration for “using a new form of coup d’état on the basis of

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vulgar, miserable and unfounded accusations” and “trying to minimize the recognition that Venezuela has achieved in the fight against drug trafficking.”

“The deep frustration of the White House is a product of the peace that reigns in Venezuela today, whose authorities have managed to neutralize coups and destabilizing attempts planned and financed from the United States,” said Arreaza.

Van Gogh Painting Stolen

A painting by famed artist Vincent Van Gogh was stolen from a Dutch museum last week while it was closed due to the coronavirus.

According to police, the breakin occurred at 3:15 a.m. on Monday morning at the Singer Laren Museum in Amsterdam. The thieves made off with the painting known as “The Parsonage Garden at Nuenen in Spring 1884.”

The work was completed by the master in 1884 and was on loan from Holland’s Groninger Museum. It is unknown how much the painting is worth.

“I am shocked and unbelievably [annoyed],” said Singer Laren director Jan Rudolph de Lorm. “It is very bad for the Groninger Museum. It’s also very bad for Singer.

“But above all it is horrible for all of us, because art is there to be seen and shared by all of us, for society as a whole, to bring enjoyment, to bring inspiration.”

The Singer Laren Museum was founded in 1950 to preserve the personal art collection of American steel baron William Henry Singer and his wife Anna. Knowing that the building was empty due to the coronavirus, thieves smashed a glass door to enter the museum. Although they set off an alarm, they managed to escape before police arrived.

The Singer Laren Museum has been raided before, with thieves making off with seven sculptures in 2007. The majority of the works were recovered within a few days.

A Couple of Capitals

While most countries around the world have a single capital city, there are a number of nations with two or more capitals.

“The very concept of a capital city is relatively new. In 1900, only around 40 countries had capital cities,” wrote professor David Gordon in an introduction to the book, Planning Twentieth Century Capital Cities. That number expanded to over 200 by the year 2000, as the collapse of the French and British empires, the Soviet Union, and Yugoslavia gave rise to new countries.

Gordon, an urban planning professor at Queen’s University at Kingston, Ontario, noted that “this is a place where politicians get together to pass laws, where the central administrative apparatus of the country are generally located...

There are very much synergies in locating these all together.”

In Chile, the capital cities of Santiago and Valparaíso are located 72 miles apart. Santiago, home to the country’s administrative and judicial bodies, rests among mountains, while the national legislature at UNESCO-listed Valparaíso has a colorful sunset view of the Pacific Ocean.

Bolivia’s administrative capital, La Paz, is located in the Andes Mountains. Hundreds of miles away sits the constitutional capital of Sucre, where in the early days of colonial rule, nearby mines filled with silver served to raise the city’s profile.

In the Czech Republic, the president’s official office is located in Prague Castle, part of the city’s UNESCO-listed historic center. Yet the supreme court sits in the country’s second capital, Brno.

The Netherlands’ official capital, Amsterdam, is a common tourist destination with much to see and do.

However, the country’s government sits in The Hague, where the state’s general, executive branch, and su-

The Jewish Home | APRIL 3, 2020

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APRIL 3, 2020 | The Jewish Home

preme court are all located.

Malaysia’s Kuala Lumpur is the national capital, as well as home to the country’s monarch and the seat of the legislature. But in 1995, as a getaway of sorts from city life, the government began work on Putrajaya, a quieter metropolis surrounding a massive artificial lake. The new capital is home to landmarks such as the pink Putra Mosque.

Sri Lanka’s national and executive government bodies are along the coastal city of Colombo, though the official capital is nearby in Sri Jayawardenepura Kotte, often called Kotte. In Kotte, one can find the Sri Lankan Parliament Building in the middle of the manmade Diyawanna Lake.

The Kingdom of eSwatini, formerly known as Swaziland, has its administrative capital in Mbabane.

Yet King Mswati III, along with his family, calls the Ludzidzini Royal Residence home, located in the royal capital of Lobamba.

South Africa is the only country in the world to have three capital cities: Cape Town, Pretoria, and Bloemfontein. Cape Town, the former capital of Britain’s Cape Colony, is the legislative capital of South

Africa until today. The remaining branches of government are split between Pretoria and Bloemfontein, in the emerging country’s attempt to help with the distribution of power across regions.

Plastic-Eating Bacteria

Scientists have discovered a bacteria strain capable of degrading polyurethane, a synthetic chemical compound used in plastic products that typically end up in landfills.

These findings, which could be a step towards reducing plastic pollution around the world, were published last week in the Frontiers in Microbiology journal.

German researchers identified the bacterium Pseudomonas puti-

da, which fed on polyurethane diol, a compound generally applied to materials to protect them from corrosion. “The bacteria can use these compounds as a sole source of carbon, nitrogen and energy,” noted Hermann Heipieper, study author and senior scientist at the Helmholtz Center for Environmental Research in Leipzig.

“This finding represents an important step in being able to reuse hard-to-recycle (polyurethane) products.”

Polyurethane foam is commonly used in mattresses, car parts, building materials, and spandex clothing and shoes, among other things.

Polyurethane is a polymer, a large molecule made up of numerous smaller molecules called monomers.

This complex structure is partially why plastics are so difficult to break down and end up clogging landfills.

The bacterium Pseudomonas putida is capable of metabolizing the “building blocks” of polyurethane, but it alone would likely be unable to break down large polyurethane polymers. The researchers said further research is required before pursuing commercial biodegradation procedures but that these findings

still represent an important step toward tackling plastic pollution.

500 Iranians Imbibe Faux Cure

At least 480 Iranians have died over the past week after drinking industrial alcohol they were told was a cure for the novel coronavirus.

Consumption of the faux cure skyrocketed in recent weeks as the death toll in Iran from the coronavirus surpassed 2,000 people. According to rumors that circulated, a British teacher had cured himself of the coronavirus after ingesting whiskey along with honey.

Other reports spoke of the wondrous healing powers of methanol,

The Jewish Home | APRIL 3, 2020

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APRIL 3, 2020 | The Jewish Home

people with alcohol poisoning and also fight the coronavirus.”

UK Shadowing Russian Warships

industrial-grade alcohol that causes quick death when imbibed. In one case, a 5-year-old in Tehran passed away after he was fed the toxic brew by his parents. In videos taken in Iran’s Khuzestan province, dozens of patients can be seen with IVs as they detox from the poisonous substance.

While consumer alcoholic drinks are banned in Iran, methanol is permitted for sale as long as it is dyed

a special color to prevent mistaken consumption. As the rumors of alcohol’s “wondrous” effects on the novel coronavirus began to circulate, criminals manufactured bootleg methanol dyed white to appear safe to drink.

Adding to the high death toll in Iran is the fact that methanol is tasteless without any aroma. Almost undetectable, many who drank it were unaware that the supposed

miracle cure would, in fact, lead to an early death. Commonly, methanol kills people by causing organs to shut down, with symptoms including chest pain, blindness, and a sudden coma.

“Other countries have only one problem, which is the new coronavirus pandemic. But we are fighting on two fronts here,” Iranian Health Ministry official Dr. Hossein Hassanian said. “We have to both cure the

The United Kingdom’s (UK) Royal Navy announced on Monday that it has been shadowing seven Russian warships sailing between the English Channel and the North Sea. Saying that it was alarmed by the “unusual amount of activity,” the Royal Navy used nine vessels to monitor the Russian fleet until it left the English Channel. Executive Officer Lieutenant Nick Ward said in a statement that monitoring constituted a major operation for the British fleet that demonstrated their “enduring commitment to uphold the security” of the UK. “Royal Navy sailors and aircrew were monitoring every movement of the Russian ships using state-of-theart radar, surveillance cameras and sensors, allowing them to track their course and speed as they passed the British Isles,” said the Royal Navy.

“Portsmouth-based HMS Tyne spent more than a week working in the English Channel, in often challenging seas, keeping a close eye on the Russian vessels as they pass the south coast.”

While Russian ships commonly transit the English Channel, they aroused suspicion by remaining off the coast of Britain for several days instead of continuing to the Mediterranean Sea. Included in the Russia armada were three Project 20380 Steregushchiy-class corvettes, two Project 775 Ropucha-class amphibious crafts, and Admiral Grigorovich-class frigates, plus auxiliary ships and tugs.

The suspicious Russian maritime activity comes amid rising tensions between Moscow and London in recent weeks. In early March, RAF jets intercepted two Russian Tu-142 strategic bombers after they approached the Shetland Islands.

“Our successful integration into

The Jewish Home | APRIL 3, 2020

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APRIL 3, 2020 | The Jewish Home

“It is a serious issue for the whole international society including Japan that North Korea has repeatedly launched the missiles lately,” said Japan’s Self Defense Forces. “We continue to put the utmost effort to collect and analyze information and vigilance to protect the life and property of Japanese citizens.”

A Trump administration official said that it “will continue to monitor the situation and are consulting with our allies.”

Pyongyang appears to have ramped up its ballistic missile program, having conducted six missile tests over the last four weeks alone.

On March 9, North Korea launched three missiles into the sea, followed by another two tests on March 21.

Jihadi Sentenced to 10 Years

the maritime group proves our ability to adapt to task group operations at short notice,” said Lieutenant Hannah Lee, who serves as an operations officer on a frigate involved in the mission. “Having proved we can work together and contribute once again to NATO operations, we now look to return to UK national tasks in support of the very highest defense priorities.”

North Korea Launches Projectile North Korea launched two unidentified projectiles into the Sea of Japan in what is the rogue state’s sixth such test in this past month alone.

According to the South Korean

military, the launches were assumed to be short-range missiles based in the Wohsan area. The rockets landed outside of Japan’s 200-kilometer Exclusive Economic Zone.

Japan’s Coast Guard first reported the launch at 6:00 on Sunday morning. Tokyo’s military warned that it viewed the test with extreme concern and that it would not hesitate to take action in order to protect Japan’s interests.

A Tunisian national was sentenced last Thursday to a 10-year prison term by a German court for planning a biological terror attack together with his wife.

Sief Allah H., 31, and his wife Yasmin, a 41-year-old German citizen, wanted to “create a climate of fear and uncertainty among the German population,” wrote presiding judge Jan van Lessen. The planned attack could have potentially murdered as many as 13,500 people.

Sief Allah H. was a supporter of ISIS who had previously attempted twice to join the Islamic State as a combatant in Syria. He had ordered castor seeds and metal ball bearings online in order to construct the deadly poison ricin, which, according to the court statement, was intended to murder “other believers” who don’t embrace Islam. The statement elaborated that the couple had begun working on their “jihadi motivated explosive attack in Germany” back in 2017.

The components were confiscated by authorities from the couple’s apartment in Cologne-Chorweiler.

“The accused were well advanced in the manufacture of an explosive

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APRIL 3, 2020 | The Jewish Home

ries.”

Sief Allah H. appealed his sentence, while the ongoing trial against Yasmin will continue with the next court hearing slated for April 1.

Greek World War II Hero Dies

Did you know?

In 1778, one brief war was fought over potatoes. The opposing forces were Prissioa and Australia, both wanting to starve each other by stealing their food.

device and had already made a significant amount of the ricin toxin from the castor beans they had ordered online,” according to the court.

“Radical Islamic content had been found on their mobile phones, demonstrating their radicalization and the decision to commit a terrorist attack based on it. The planned attack would most likely have resulted in numerous fatalities and inju-

Manolis Glezos, who became famous for resisting the Nazis during World War II, passed away on Monday at the age of 97.

Glezos was known for his open defiance of the Nazi regime after it occupied his native Greece in 1941.

While only 18 years old, he and his friend Apostolos Santas famously climbed the Acropolis in order to tear down the Nazi flag.

As the birthplace of Athenian democracy, the Acropolis is a national Greek institution and many viewed Gleznos’ effort to remove the swastika as a symbol of their opposition to the Nazi occupation. The Nazi regime arrested the pair after discovering the identity of the perpetrators but Gleznos managed to escape from prison. He was sentenced to death in absentia in 1942.

“Hitler had said in a speech that ‘Europe is free.’ We wanted to show him that the fight was just beginning,” Glezos recalled in 2011.

“Greece conquered its freedom, but not its independence.”

After the war ended, Glezos was elected to the country’s parliament for a variety of far-left and communist parties. He was later imprisoned during the 1967-1974 military dictatorship but never renounced his radical politics. After Greece declared bankruptcy as a result of the global financial meltdown in 2008, Gleznos led the public opposition to the harsh austerity that was imposed on the country.

Tributes poured in after news of Gleznos’ death was announced, with the country’s most prominent politicians hailing him as a national hero. Greek Prime Minister Kyriakos Mitsotakis eulogized him as a

The Jewish Home | APRIL 3, 2020

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“lionheart” and “the sweetest man” whose actions continue to inspire him today.

“The death of Manolis Glezos leaves Greeks poorer, but the legacy of his life leaves Greece richer,” said Mitsotakis. “His example, that of a true patriot and fighter, is a guiding light for us all. And it gives us the strength to unite to overcome difficulties, like those we are experiencing today.”

“For all eternity he will remain the symbol of a fighter,” added former Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras.

“The left, all of us today, feel like orphans but also so lucky to have walked with him.”

Philippines Grounds All Lionair Flights The Civil Aviation Authority of the Philippines (CAAP) has grounded all flights belonging to the Lionair carrier after a fire on one of its planes killed eight people.

“While investigation on the medical evacuation plane RP-C5880 is

ongoing, it has been decided that Lionair’s entire fleet will be grounded,” said the CAAP in a statement.

In India, “Social Distance” is a Privilege Lionair is the country’s largest provider of helicopters and charter aircraft. The company has seven total aircraft listed on its website.

The move comes after a twin-engine medevac jet went up in flames on March 29, killing all eight people on board. The Westwind 24 aircraft erupted in smoke during a routine takeoff at Ninoy Aquino International Airport at around 8:00 p.m.

The plane was headed to Japan and had six Filipinos and two Japanese nationals on board. The airport’s runway was closed following the disaster, and all international flights were diverted. CAAP has recovered the black box and is leading an investigation into what caused the accident.

“The recovery will further aid

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and villages across the country, in order to quarantine them for 14 days.

In Sunday’s radio address, Modi acknowledged the chaos brought upon India’s poor by the lockdown and asked the nation for forgiveness.

He also urged listeners to understand there was no other option.

Bringing Israelis Home Last week, Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi announced a national 21-day lockdown to prevent the coronavirus from further spreading among the country’s 1.3 billion inhabitants. “Social distancing is not just for the sick, but for each and every person, including you and even your family,” he said in a nationwide address.

Yet for one-sixth of the population, the 74 million people who reside in slums, social distancing is physically as well as economically impossible. In Dharavi in Mumbai, there is only one toilet per 1,440 residents, and 78% of community toilets in Mumbai’s slums lack a water supply, according to a 2019 Greater Mumbai Municipal Corporation survey.

Furthermore, migrant workers generally earn between 138-449 Indian rupees ($1.84-$5.97) per day, according to the International Labour Organization. As they often live handto-mouth, they simply cannot stop working if they are to feed themselves and their families.

“Supply chains have shut down.

Employment is lost. They have no money to purchase essentials,” said economist Arun Kumar. “And unlike the rich, they cannot afford to stock up. They buy on a daily basis but now the shelves are empty.”

At least one person in a Mumbai slum has already tested positive for coronavirus. As thousands of migrant workers seek to flee the slums for their rural homes, they have sparked fears of transferring the virus to the countryside. On Sunday, Prime Minister Modi urged all states to seal their borders in an effort to prevent the virus from being imported into rural areas.

Officials are now scrambling to locate millions of migrant workers, who had already returned to their small towns

Israel’s Foreign Ministry dispatched a fleet of chartered jets to bring home a group of Israelis that were stranded in New Zealand and Australia.

“In these countries are the largest concentration of Israelis who are interested in returning home,” said the Foreign Ministry in a statement.

The ministry has been involved in an intensive operation to rescue tens of thousands of Israelis who had been stuck all across the globe after their host countries implemented travel bans to prevent the coronavirus from spreading. Now, the vast majority of them have returned home from places such as Peru, Argentina, India, and Moldova.

On Sunday, Israir Airlines CEO Uri Sirkis announced that his company would bring back Israelis free of charge from Kishinev, Berlin, Tbilisi, Belgrade, Frankfurt, and Vienna. This follows the estimated 1,000 backpackers in Peru who were rescued by El Al early last week.

Hundreds more were brought back from countries such as Bolivia that do not have formal diplomatic relations with Israel, complicating the effort. Twenty-three Israelis were eventually brought to Santa Cruz by a private plane ordered by Israel’s embassy in Brazil, where a Bolivian Air Force Jet was waiting to take them to Brazil. Once in San Paolo, they board-

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ed a direct El Al flight to Tel Aviv.

While 12 Israelis remain in Peru, Israeli Ambassador to Lima Asaf Ichilevich promised that “we will make every effort to bring them home.”

Meanwhile, seven Israelis stranded in Honduras were flown by the Honduran army to Costa Rica, where they were collected by a waiting El Al flight.

In India, 300 Israelis were brought back by a private jet chartered by the Amsalem Tours travel agency, while another 23 that got on a plane sent

by Germany to collect its citizens from Peru were dropped off in a third country. The joint effort was hailed by German Ambassador Susanne Wainer-Rasum as an “important symbol for the strength of [German-Israeli] cooperation in crisis times.”

As countries around the world began to close their airspace in early March, Foreign Minister Yisrael Katz ordered staff to prepare a “national emergency plan” to repatriate Israelis stuck on foreign soil.

“More than 600 Israelis came back from India, 200 students from Jordan, 150 Israelis from Central Europe, and another 150 from Costa Rica,” noted Katz. “We managed to get tourists out from all parts of Bo-

livia, and even those that were unable to board [last week’s] El Al flight from Peru will return to Israel soon, after they went on rescue flights organized by the German Foreign Ministry.

“Israeli citizens can be proud of their diplomats around the world.”

A Unity Government?

Negotiations between Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Kahol Lavan leader Benny Gantz have stalled over disputes regarding the division of government ministries.

Last week, Gantz ended his political partnership with Yesh Atid head Yair Lapid and former IDF Chief of Staff Moshe “Bogie” Ya’alon. Reversing his vow not to join a coalition led

by Netanyahu under any circum-

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stances, Gantz said that Israel needed a stable government in order to deal with the coronavirus pandemic.

With 17 seats, Gantz’s willingness to join a government that includes the Likud, the haredi UTJ and Shas parties, and the Religious Zionist Yemina would give Netanyahu more than the 61 votes needed to establish a coalition. The talks between the two parties for a national unity government had been going well, leading to speculation that it could be sworn in as early as this week.

However, such optimism now seems misplaced after a fresh round of mudslinging between the Likud and Kahol Lavan.

Originally, Kahol Lavan was slated to receive the Justice Ministry, a highly influential portfolio that controls the country’s legal system. Yet Netanyahu reportedly reversed the decision after seeing the backlash within his party to such a move, with lawmakers worrying about the center-left party enabling the High Court’s judicial activism.

Other matters under dispute include who will be Knesset Speaker.

Gantz is currently the Knesset Speaker but had agreed to vacate the post after a new government is sworn in.

While Netanyahu wanted to return Yuli Edelstein to the position he held until last week, Gantz ruled out the idea, accusing the Russian-born MK of destroying democracy by ignoring a High Court ruling last week.

Yet according to Likud sources, Netanyahu has threatened to tap Tourism Minister Yariv Lavin for the speakership instead if Gantz doesn’t remove his veto of Edelstein. Lavin is known for his vehement opposition to the High Court and is likely to promote far-reaching steps to limit the power justices currently wield over the government.

In addition, Netanyahu demanded that Gantz support annexing large swaths of Judea and Samaria under President Donald Trump’s “Deal of the Century.” Gantz has refused the idea, saying that such a move would hurt future peace prospects despite Netanyahu refusing to back down.

Finally, Gantz had demanded that the Health Ministry be given to Gabi Ashkenazi. A former IDF Chief of Staff, Ashkenazi has vowed to rebuild the country’s collapsing health system just as he rebuilt the military after the Second Lebanon War in 2006.

While Netanyahu agreed to the demand, current Health Minister and UTJ leader Yaakov Litzman has refused to give up his post. Kahol Lavan

has since made receiving the ministry a non-negotiable demand, creating an impasse that remains unsolved.

End for Black September Terrorist

Theresa Khalsa, the last surviving member of the squad responsible for the hijacking of the Tel Aviv-bound Sabena Airlines’ flight 571 in 1972, died at the age of 65 in Jordan this week.

Born to a Christian family in Acre, Khalsa’s family ironically had warm relations with Jews throughout her childhood.

“We lived very close to the Jews. I had Jewish friends. On Saturday they asked us to turn on the gas and electricity in their home. We went in and out as a family,” she later told Haaretz.

Nevertheless, Khalsa joined the Black September terror group in 1967 and was part of the four-member squad that smuggled explosives and pistols on the Vienna-Tel Aviv flight five years later. At the end of the journey, they charged the cockpit and took over the plane.

Landing in Lod Airport, they separated the Jewish and the non-Jewish passengers and demanded that Israel release 315 Palestinian prisoners in exchange for the 97 hostages. After a 30-hour standoff, the IDF’s elite Sayeret Matkal unit successfully stormed the plane by dressing up as airport mechanics, killing two of the hijackers and capturing Khalsa and Rima Tannous.

The mission, which has since been immortalized in a series of movies and books, was led by current Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and former premier Ehud Barak. Netanyahu was wounded after being hit by friendly fire, as were two other passengers.

Khalsa was arrested and sentenced to 220 years in prison but was later released as part of a prisoner swap in 1982. She would remain proud of her role in the hijacking for the rest of her life, saying in 2015 that “I wanted to blow up the plane. That’s the truth.”

The Jewish Home | APRIL 3, 2020

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The Empire State Building flashed red this week in honor of doctors, nurses, and other medical workers

Tom Coburn Dead at 71

Tom Coburn, a maverick Oklahoma Republican senator and congressman known for his ultraconservative views, passed away following a battle with cancer. He was 72.

Born in Oklahoma, Coburn worked as an obstetrician and reportedly delivered more than 4,000 babies. He first joined politics in 1994 as part of a new generation of Republicans vowing to shrink the size of the federal government.

Serving in the House of Representatives until 2001 and then from 2005 until 2015, Coburn was famous for his hawkish views on foreign policy and his opposition to government intervention in the economy.

Throughout his career, Coburn frequently took aim at Republicans and Democrats alike for their support of budget deficits and high taxation. Coburn refused to accept federal funds that were earmarked for

state projects and vowed to “fight big spenders so that our children and grandchildren have a future.”

After leaving the Senate in 2015, Coburn pushed for a constitutional convention and continued fighting conservative fiscal causes. “I’ve got a flat forehead from beating my head against the wall,” Coburn said.

Coburn was eulogized by a slew of prominent conservative politicians on Sunday who remembered his fierce commitment to balancing budgets and cutting spending.

“Tom Coburn was a great conservative voice in the United States Congress and American physician whose legacy will live on,” tweeted Vice President Mike Pence.

In a statement, Republican Senator James Lankford of Oklahoma called Coburn a “friend and a leader.”

“Oklahoma has lost a tremendous leader and I lost a great friend today,” said Lankford. “Dr. Coburn was an inspiration to many in our state and our nation. He was unwavering in his conservative values, but he had deep and meaningful friendships with people from all political and personal backgrounds.”

Probe into Lawmakers The Justice Department has opened a probe into lawmakers who sold their stocks shortly after receiving a classified briefing about the potential impact of the coronavirus.

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The investigation is being conducted in tandem with the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) and is still in its preliminary stage.

However, the FBI has already attempted to speak with North Carolina Senator Richard Burr about his suspicious stock dump right after being briefed about the pandemic’s economic fallout.

The probe will focus on whether legislators sold their portfolios on the basis of what they heard in government briefings. If so, the market trades could potentially run afoul of federal insider trader laws, which prohibits engaging financial activity based on confidential access to information.

Burr had come under public scrutiny after selling off $1.7 million of his stocks after attending a Senate Intelligence Committee meeting in February about the coronavirus. As

the furor over his trading refused to die down, the North Carolina Republican asked the Senate Ethics Committee to dispel talk that he violated federal law.

“The law is clear that any American – including a senator – may participate in the stock market based on public information, as Senator Burr did. When this issue arose, Senator Burr immediately asked the Senate Ethics Committee to conduct a complete review, and he will cooperate with that review as well as any other appropriate inquiry,” said Burr’s attorney Alice Fisher on Sunday.

Other lawmakers under fire for suspicious trades included Georgia Senator Kelly Loeffler, who made between $1.275 million and $3.1 million in a stock dump after attending a Senate briefing. Loeffler and her husband also earned close to a million dollars for purchasing shares in Citrix, a cloud computing company whose stock has doubled since the pandemic began.

Members of Congress were once allowed to buy and sell shares based on non-public information they were privy to as part of their job until the 2012 Stock Act put an end to such activity.

A Possible Vaccine?

The U.S. government has signed a $1 billion deal with the Johnson & Johnson pharmaceutical company to produce 1 billion doses of a potential coronavirus vaccine.

Johnson & Johnson said that it already had a vaccine candidate and would begin human testing by the fall. Should the trials go as scheduled, the drug could be ready to hit the market by February 2021.

As part of the deal, the U.S. will spend $421 million in order to build a U.S. manufacturing plant for the pharmaceutical giant. In addition, Johnson & Johnson will dedicate $1 billion to develop other vaccines along with the Biomedical Advanced Research and Development Authority (BARDA).

Overseen by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS), BARDA is tasked with spearheading the development of new lifesaving drugs. The deal is the largest one ever signed between the U.S. government and a private drug company.

Johnson & Johnson said that it had begun producing a vaccine for the coronavirus in January based on its successful discovery of the drug that decimated ebola. It tested the first coronavirus vaccine on March 17 and has ramped up production in all of its 125 factories around the world to meet demand.

Biden’s Bid to Attract Young Voters Despite his victories in the March primaries, Joe Biden finds himself often regarded as one of the least-inspiring Democratic candidates by the younger participants of the progressive voter base.

Biden lost badly among young people to candidate Bernie Sanders,

who gained a fan base with his proposed “Medicare for All.” Currently, Sanders would need to win more than 60 percent of the remaining delegates in order to still obtain the nomination.

On March 11, the day after Biden beat Sanders in five out of six states, Biden’s campaign spoke with staffers from liberal think tank Data for Progress regarding climate change policy.

The group shared a memo with Biden’s aides that recommended he adopt Jay Inslee’s clean energy standards and proposal to end fossil fuel subsidies, among other climate-related issues.

“The dirty little secret is everyone’s talking to Biden’s campaign,” said Sean McElwee, co-founder of Data for Progress. “There will be fights, but at the end of the day, progressives still hold votes in the Senate and increasingly Democratic voters stand behind our views. I expect we’ll see Biden embracing key planks of the ambitious agenda progressives have outlined on issues like climate and pharmaceutical policy.”

Biden’s team has formed an internal working group designed to better reach progressives, with a timeline of engagement for the coming weeks.

“Young people are an important constituency in the Democratic Party,” noted a Biden advisor, “and we are committed to earning their vote.”

Biden held a “happy hour” virtual roundtable last week to engage young Americans, and in an op-ed published in Crooked Media, he addressed fears regarding the economic fallout of the coronavirus pandemic.

Recently, he has also backed proposals from Sanders and Elizabeth Warren regarding student debt and free college, respectively. Other progressives have reported that they see room to mold Biden’s policies regarding gun control, climate change, and immigration.

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Dog Driver

If you thought that the car in front of you was being a bit erratic, blame it on the dogs.

On Sunday, a resident of Washington State was arrested following a high-speed chase after police heard that a car had hit two vehicles and then sped away. Onlookers told police that the car was being driven erratically at more than 100 miles an hour.

As officers gave chase, they got close to the vehicle – a 1996 Buick – and were shocked to see a pit bull in the driver’s seat. A man sitting in the passenger seat was steering and push-

ing the gas pedal for the canine.

The pursuit ended after police deployed spike strips and arrested 51-year-old Alberto Tito Alejandro, who was booked on multiple felonies including driving under the influence of drugs.

“When we took him into custody... he admitted to our troopers that he was trying to teach his dog to drive,” state trooper Heather Axtman said.

“I’ve been a trooper for almost 10 years and I’ve had a lot of excuses when I’ve arrested people or pulled people over, but I’ve never had an excuse that the dog was driving,” she added.

Axtman said the female pit bull, which was not aggressive toward the arresting officers, had been placed in an animal shelter.

I canine-not believe it.

$30K for a Sweaty Towel?

After the final buzzer of Kobe Bryant’s last-ever game in which he scored 60 points, Kobe delivered his “Mamba Out” speech to the crowd at Staples Center, during which he had

a towel draped over his shoulders. As he walked off the court, a fan snatched the towel.

The piece of cloth, which originally sold at a 2016 auction for $8,365, was put up for auction again last week.

This time – months after the basketball great’s death in a helicopter crash – the towel fetched $33,077.16.

The winning bidder, David Kohler, is an avid Lakers collector who is known for having the largest collection of Lakers memorabilia in the world. Earlier this month, Kohler paid nearly $30,000 for a middle school yearbook that was signed by Bryant.

“In a few years you probably will be dunking on me – Not!! How about those Lakers. Your friend, Kobe Bryant,” reads the inscription in the 1992 yearbook.

Dating in a Bubble

When Jeremy Cohen – who was adhering to the CDC’s self-quarantine guidelines — looked out of his Brooklyn apartment last week, he saw a young lady dancing on a rooftop and thought she would be a good match for him. Screaming out to her from his porch was not a viable option. So the ingenious young man got out his drone, jotted down his number, and piloted his drone over to her.

His plan worked – the woman texted him and the two agreed to go on a date.

But how to date while adhering to the CDC’s social distancing guidelines? Well, Cohen had a plan for that as well. Cohen set up a table for two on his porch, and the young lady, named “Tori,” sat at a table for two

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Thank You To our generous & dedicated partners in the Pesach Food Distribution & Maos Chittim Project;

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Our Devoted Partner Shuls;

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on her own rooftop. They each had a bottle of wine and Facetimed. In other words, it was two tables-for-two.

Of course, both of these events were recorded by Cohen and garnered millions of hits on social media.

It is the next step, though, that has people wondering whether this whole thing was staged, despite Cohen’s insistence that it was not.

Last weekend, Cohen shared a video of himself leaving his apartment, getting into a plastic bubble, inflating it, and walking over to meet Tori in front of her building. The two then took a walk throughout the neighborhood.

“Just because we have to social distance doesn’t mean we have to be socially distant,” Cohen said via onscreen message in the video, which also featured clips of Cohen and Tori wandering the streets while separated by a thin layer of plastic.

Although it would certainly be understandable if Tori thinks that Cohen is a bit wrapped up in his own bubble, she has agreed to go out again. Cohen posted that he is considering what their next social distancing-compliant date will be.

Facetime anyone?

Names of Success

Want your kids to be financially well-off? You may want to redo the names on their birth certificate.

According to new research, people with names like Andrew, Sam, or Christopher for a boy and Anna, Laura, and Maria for girls are set up for financially successful lives.

On the flip side, according to researchers, you may want to avoid names like Ali, Rob and Dan for boys and Karen, Claire and Lisa for girls if you want your kids to have hefty bank accounts.

The research was shared by investment platform, eToro, which analyzed 12 million users to find out who has made the best and worst financial investments over the past 12 months.

Managing director of eToro UK, Iqbal V. Gandham, said: “William Shakespeare once wrote ‘What’s in a name?’ Quite a lot, it seems, if you

want your children to grow up to be financially savvy and secure.

“A name is not just something you use to distinguish yourself from others, it also affects the way others see you.

“There has been a raft of research done over the years showing a very strong link between what you call your child and their future success. So, it could quite literally pay dividends so take your time when choosing.”

In 2012, a study by the University of Melbourne, the University of Leuven and New York University found that people with easy-to-pronounce names tended to hold more senior positions in work.

That might explain why many of the top names are relatively short with a maximum of two syllables.

Hmmm. Sounds like that advice is worth its weight in gold.

When Life Hands You Onions, Make Onion Rings English couple Laura Acton, 25, and Adam Woods, 32, had been

planning their wedding for over two years. The big day was going to be on March 22. Unfortunately, their wedding was cancelled one day before the big event.

Heading out on a trip together, the two of them stopped off for lunch.

“We hadn’t eaten anything since Friday night because we were so sick, so we stopped off at Burger King on the way to Liverpool,” Laura said. “Adam ordered some onion rings and when he came back to the car, he told me to put them on – and said we can still exchange rings. You just had to laugh.

“Seeing as we couldn’t exchange wedding rings, we exchanged onion rings.”

I bet that was the first time somebody was ever asked if they wanted ketchup with their wedding ring.

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The Jewish Home | APRIL 3, 2020

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APRIL 3, 2020 | The Jewish Home

Around the

Community Week Two at YCQ

A

s students and parents enter week two of their new learning routines, the Yeshiva of Central Queens faculty and Parent Teacher Organization (PTO) continue to enhance the virtual learning environment and set of activities to keep students engaged in learning while keeping social avenues open.

Last week, students were engaged in a the #YCQatHome photo scavenger hunt challenge, a daily activity where students find certain items and then photograph the items and submit for the end of the week video. Teachers continued to introduce class challenges encouraging students to do chores around the house, which certainly helped frantic parents begin their Pesach preparations; show off their personal collections; share videos of recipes and cooking; and show school spirit by spelling out YCQ with various items. Specialty classes were introduced this week including gym class for all grades, art, music, and library for lower elementary, and computer class for all elementary school students.

School psychologist Dr. Sara Asher, on Wednesday evening, gave her well-attended weekly Zoom.us webinar on her series Psychologist’s Coping Toolbox: Strategies for Managing Difficult Moments. She has been available for the entire YCQ community to help develop coping skills to navigate through this trying time period and to offer emotional support.

Every morning, students daven together with their rabbeim, morot, and classmates and on Rosh Chodesh 300 hundred students, parents, administration and faculty davened a beautiful Hallel together led by JHS assistant principal Rabbi Moshe Hamel and elementary assistant principal Rabbi Michael Ribalt. And on Thursday evening, rabbeim led the second YCQ virtual pre-Shabbat ruach event.

Despite what is going on in the world, the students are displaying incredible middot tovot and dealing with both the uncertainty and the temporary changes like true bnot Torah.

Virtual Learning with Gan Chamesh

C

hildren in Gan Chamesh, Chabad’s Early Childhood Center, have been involved in a multitude of meaningful learning experiences. Through video clips, Zoom classes and class virtual sharing groups, the innovative, creative and dedicated Gan Chamesh teachers have provided their young students with a vast array of educational opportunities. The children have experienced circle time, story time, tutorials on Pesach projects, science experiments, virtual Shabbos parties and birthday parties as well as exciting challenges, like the pyramid challenge and frog challenge. The

children also enjoyed a Rosh Chodesh Nissan sing-along program, a feelings program, and a Pesach music class.

An incredible highlight for the young students was receiving their very own published, personalized Haggadahs featuring photographs of themselves and all their school friends. At a time like this, the special Haggadah will not only enhance the beauty of their yom tov learning, but it will be as if their classmates were right there at the Seder table with them.

Wishing everyone a healthy and safe chag kasher v’sameach!

The Jewish Home | APRIL 3, 2020

A NIGHT DIFFERENT FROM ANY BEFORE. This year, this night is undeniably different from all others.

But one thing remains constant: UJA is here for you.

Since so many will be without family for the seders and many more face newfound financial hardships, we’re providing thousands of free seder meals to those in need, including the elderly, Holocaust survivors, and those newly isolated by the pandemic. And we’re doing everything we can so that all can partake in the timeless tradition of Passover during this unprecedented time. You can check out the resources we’re providing at ujafedny.org/passover-resources.

We wish you and your family a chag sameach. And it’s our heartfelt hope that we all stay healthy and safe.

Donate: ujafedny.org/donate

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APRIL 3, 2020 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

An Important Message from United Refuah HealthShare

A

s the world deals with the outbreak of the coronavirus (r”l), United Refuah HealthShare, the first and only Jewish healthcare sharing organization, is working tirelessly to ensure the health and safety of their members, Klal Yisrael, and the world as a whole.

Our team is constantly monitoring guidelines put out by the CDC (The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) and WHO (World Health Organization). Here are the current recommendations:

Know the symptoms. Symptoms of coronavirus include but are not limited to: • Coughing/respiratory problems • Fever • Shortness of breath • Body aches • Runny nose/congestion • Sore throat It’s important to note that people with decreased immunity, high blood pressure, heart disease, chronic lung disease, kidney disease, diabetes or women who are pregnant may experience more severe symptoms and are

at a higher risk of coronavirus complications.

If you feel something, say something.

If you are exhibiting any of the symptoms of the virus (see above), we recommend utilizing tools such as TeleMedicine, as it is the safer option, preferable to visiting a doctor’s office or urgent care facility in person. For our members, we encourage taking advantage of TeleRefuah, our 24/hour TeleMedicine platform. As always, services are fully shareable without any PreShare or CoShare responsibility. If instructed to proceed with testing, there are many free testing resources available nationwide for uninsured individuals.

Prevention: Although there are no current vaccines available, there are steps you can take to keep yourself and your family safe.

• Handwashing: you do not need antibacterial soap to prevent transmission! Take your time and spend 20 seconds washing your hands.

• Avoid touching your eyes, nose and mouth. Although this can be difficult, it has been proven highly effective in reducing the spread of viruses.

• Of course, government recommendations as it applies to social distancing should not be ignored. It is the

only way to stop the spread of disease.

Let us take a deep breath and remember that Hakadosh Baruch Hu is constantly supervising us. Let’s use this time to be grateful and thankful to Hashem at every moment.

If you haven’t yet adopted this practice, reciting blessings over food aloud is a sure way to say thanks to Hashem.

Modeh Ani, the first prayer of the day, is a daily reminder that we are in good hands, safe and secure, and it’s just 12 words. Concentrate: Modeh Ani: I, the creation, fully acknowledge Lefanecha: You the Planner, the Provider, the Perfection Melech Chai Vekayam: are actively present, leading us in real-time… ...Rabba Emunasecha: Your faith in me, and my faith in You, will together pull us through!

May we only hear simchos and besuros tovos in the coming days.

United Refuah HealthShare is not an insurance company and does not offer insurance. It is a thriving community of like-minded people who share medical expenses with one another, all based on Torah-true principles and values, with thousands of active members across the U.S. Learn more at UnitedRefuahHS.org.

Set Your Seder Table Royally with Hazorfim’s New Silver Collections

H

azorfim, the world’s leading silver brand, is now launching its new Pesach collections. This is your chance to enhance your seder table with exquisite, artistic designs at especially attractive prices.

Each collection includes several items, with a huge variety of designs to suit every taste. And now, Hazorfim is offering its customers the option of custom ordering additional pieces from the same collection, so that your seder table will have stunning, matching silver pieces for an overall harmonious look.

Each collection includes all the traditional items that grace the seder table: wine decanters, kiddush sets, the Kos of Eliyahu, seder plates, candelabras, and more.

Hazorfim CEO Yakov Merdinger, known as the world’s No. 1 silversmith, is excited by how Hazorfim has earned its reputation for superior quality and beauty.

“Nothing could be more fitting than to celebrate Pesach, the holiday that brings extended family together, with magnificent Hazorfim silver pieces that are passed down from generation to generation!” he said.

Exclusive at Hazorfim! HSP, Hazorfim Silver Protect, the protective coating that prevents tarnishing and saves you hours of work. No more polishing silver with HSP! Visit Hazorfim at our flagship store in Borough Park at 4424 13th

Ave, or in Williamsburg at 67 Lee Ave. Hazorfim has also opened three new locations: 1412 Avenue M in Flatbush, 167 E. Kennedy Blvd. in Lakewood, and at Regal Silver, 7 Van Buren Drive in Monroe.

The Jewish Home | APRIL 3, 2020

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APRIL 3, 2020 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

R' Eliezer Ament, 1st grade rebbi at Yeshiva Darchei Torah, recording a video for his talmidim about the Pesach seder

Hodu l’Hashem ki tov!

Y

ehuda Yanofsky had his bris last Friday afternoon at his new Inwood house just hours after the doctors said he was b”H

ready. Very happy and appreciative family members and friends were able to “attend” using Zoom!

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n Wednesday, March 25, MTA’s Debate Team met and debated the topic of whether or not the Electoral College should be eliminated. The resolution was that the United States should dissolve the Electoral College system.

Alumni and former Debate Team Captains Noam Mayerfeld (‘19) and Benny Mermel (‘19) as well as senior Rachamim Seltzer served as guest judges. Sophomores swept the individual speaker awards with Mordechai Fox winning First

Place, Eli Canter won Second Place, and Chaim Hecht took home Third Place. Sophomores Emmet Weisz and Mordechai Fox won First Place Team, sophomore Chaim Hecht and freshman Dovi Goldberg won Second Place Team, and sophomore Eli Canter and freshman Natan Horowitz won Third Place Team. Special thanks to the team’s Faculty Advisor Mrs. Levitt for her constant support and guidance, junior Moshe Jacobson for scoring and tech support, and MTA’s IT Director Mr. Finkelstein for getting the event set up on Zoom!

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APRIL 3, 2020 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

Rav Dovid Yankelewitz, 1st grade rebbi at Yeshiva Darchei Torah, teaching his talmidim by phone

Olam Chesed Responds with Critical Supplies

HALB fifth graders baked for Shabbos on Zoom with Morah Wieder

Torat Imecha

N

W

hile most of society is now shuttered, Olam Chesed (WorldofGiving.org) is tirelessly working 24/6 to supply, at no cost, essential goods such as diapers, sanitizing wipes, cleaning/ pharmacy supplies, paper goods and protective masks to communities in crisis. Truckloads of these items have already been delivered from Olam Chesed’s 75,000 square foot warehouse in Haverstraw, NY, in the past two weeks to New Rochelle, Riverdale, Monsey, Monroe, and to the Met Council.

Olam Chesed, in cooperation with The Afikim Foundation, already a recipient of millions of dollars of goods donated by major corporations, is strategically positioned to obtain and distribute these items.

Pallets of basic necessities have also been prepared for the Five Towns for a pre-Pesach distribution, while additional pop-up sites in most affected communities such as Lake-

wood, Teaneck and Brooklyn and are being planned as urgent requests come in daily.

Riverdale community leaders expressed, “We thank Olam Chesed for its excellent and compassionate work in providing for our community at this time,” while a Rockland County mikvah conveyed, “In these trying times the mikvah is faced with the challenge of serving the community in a safe, healthy, hygienic manner.

The gift of sani-wipes and masks will help us tremendously to keep our facility clean and disinfected.”

As additional stockpiles and supply chains open, Olam Chesed is positioned to receive and distribute even greater quantities of essential items and anticipates servicing all communities in need.

For more information or pics, contact info@worldofgiving.org or 845579-2311.

early 4,000 people are participating weekly in Torat Imecha, a Nach Yomi program from the OU Women’s Initiative, a division of the Orthodox Union, as they look to join the daily online learning community. The program has gained in popularity as more people become homebound with work, schools, and shuls closed out of concern surrounding COVID-19.

Torat Imecha offers a daily podcast on Neviim and Kesuvim at the pace of a chapter a day. Shiurim are given by female scholars and geared toward learners of all levels who would like to participate in the twoyear study cycle. Rabbanit Shani Taragin, noted international scholar, delivers an introductory video for each sefer.

The app has been downloaded in 27 countries, including: Australia, Belgium, Brazil, Canada, Chile, France, Germany, Hong Kong, Hungary, Indonesia, Ireland, Israel, Italy, Mexico, Netherlands, New Zealand, Panama, Peru, Poland, Russia, Scotland, Serbia, South Africa, South Korea, United Kingdom, United States and Uruguay.

“A core principle of Judaism is bringing people together. At a time

like this when we are all davening and learning at home rather than in groups, there is a greater need to create opportunities to bring people together through technology,” said Orthodox Union President Moishe Bane.

“During this time when our community isn’t physically together, the Torat Imecha Nach Yomi program has played a pivotal role in creating a global learning community,” said Orthodox Union Executive Vice President Allen Fagin.

“With many of our synagogues and schools closed, our community is yearning for spirituality and Torah to help us get through these trying times. Torat Imecha brings everyone together to create an online community of learners,” said OU Women’s Initiative Founding Director Rebbetzin Dr. Adina Shmidman. “We’ve received wonderful feedback from users around the world about how this makes them feel part of a community during a time when people feel more alone as communal infrastructures close due to the virus.”

To subscribe to the daily Torat Imecha Shiur, visit https://www.ou.org/ women/torat-imecha-sign-up/.

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OHEL Launches Thera-Zoom

O

HEL Children’s Home & Family Services announces the launch of a critical service that will provide accessible tele-mental health support to anyone in need nationally. This initiative will provide a multitude of much-needed support tools in response to the COVID-19 pandemic to virtually attend to the growing demands of the many clients that OHEL serves – families, residents in OHEL homes, older adults, and beyond.

While there are countless online resources available in various communities, OHEL is the ONLY one-stop resource for every individ-

ual facing this crisis with new challenges and growing conflicts. OHEL is equipped to offer no cost virtual tele-support sessions, in brief but impactful 15-minute increments, so anyone struggling with the current crisis can get help, anytime, anywhere. A 15-minute check in with a qualified mental health professional will be a breakthrough service to aid in coping, anxiety management, and other pressing conditions.

OHEL is working around the clock and has assembled a team of mental health experts in the field to offer these remote crisis management services. OHEL’s Crisis Team includes Dr. Norman Blumenthal,

Director of Trauma, Tzivy Reiter, LCSW, Director of Children’s Services, and their staff from The Marvin Kaylie Tikvah Center at OHEL. Additional response services include easy access to webinars on the following topics: Managing Anxiety & Worry, How to Live with Quarantine, Insights on Dealing with Various Children’s Needs, Dealing with Anxieties in your Office or Healthcare Facility, Zoom Support Groups, facilitated by a variety of OHEL professionals, offering the following focused sessions: Parent Survival Guide, Grief & Consolation in a Time of Isolation, Shalom Bayis Under Quarantine, Pesach Without Panic,

Music & Mindfulness, Helping Adult Children Cope and much more.

As the situation continues to unfold, OHEL is here for you and with you during the COVID-19 pandemic.

For more information, visit www. ohelfamily.org/covid19 or call us at 800-603-OHEL. OHEL Children’s Home and Family Services offers a breadth of services that meet the everyday needs of individuals and families.

To access more information or services please call 1800-603-OHEL email access@ohelfamily.org or visit www.ohelfamily.

From Slavery to Freedom, From Sorrow to Joy

By Gabriel Geller Royal Wine/Kedem

W

e are living in an unprecedented situation. I keep hearing and reading that we are in a world of uncertainty. But that could not be less true. We are all witnessing that, despite all the technology and scientific advances achieved and built by mankind, one thing is quite certain: mankind does not control the world. No less certain: Hashem is in charge. We schedule conventions, seminars, weddings, Pesach programs, birthday parties... In the end, however, rabbos machshavos b’lev ish, v’atzas Hashem hi sakum, there are many plans in a man’s heart, but Hashem’s advice will prevail (Mishlei/Proverbs – 19:21). Once we recognize that Hashem is in charge, it is not only humbling, but even more so it is comforting and reassuring for the soul and the heart.

I am not writing in these pages to deliver an extensive dvar Torah. I believe, however, that it is essential to keep in mind that we are not alone and that Hashem does everything for a clear and positive purpose, even when we do not understand it. Not yet, at least. We are all following the news, and the days go by with the constant updates on the coronavirus.

But Pesach is coming up. That is a certainty, as well. In Nissan, we celebrate our freedom from our enslavement in Egypt, and we receive the freedom of choice, with which we decide to serve Hashem and embrace his Torah. We rejoice in our freedom on Pesach with the Arba Kosos, the four cups of wine.

Drinking these four cups is a mitzvah, and it is always recommended to embellish a mitzvah, to do hiddur mitzvah.

I have great news for you! This mitzvah is easy to embellish. For us, the Jews of the diaspora, there are two Sedarim, and therefore eight cups of wine. If you live in Eretz Yisrael, then you will only have one

Seder and four cups. But even then, there are many other meals, both on yom tov and chol hamoed, which represent as many occasions to celebrate and drink fine wine for that purpose.

I like using rosé wines for the four cups at the seder. Rosé wines are usually lighter, fruitier, relatively moderate in alcohol, and easier to drink. Among some of my favorite rosé wines so far this season are the Herzog Lineage Rosé 2019, a field blend from the Herzog family vineyard in Clarksburg, CA. It is light, refreshing and flavorful, with notes of citrus and tropical fruits, truly delicious. For the first Seder, I have the personal custom to only use Israeli wines.

The Rosé 2019 from Domaine du Castel is yet again a winner this year. Crisp, aromatic, with floral and stone fruit notes. This one will definitely be part of my Seder.

For those who have the custom of drinking white

wine for the Arba Kosos, the Vitkin Gewürztraminer 2018 is one wine I just cannot recommend enough.

It has such a bright and inviting profile, beautifully balanced, dry yet approachable, even if you don’t usually drink dry wines.

If you like Chenin Blanc, thanks to the ever consistent and reliable offering from Baron Herzog, then consider also the Netofa Latour White 2018. While it is dry and aged in French oak barrels, it offers incredible complexity without being too sophisticated for the non-initiated drinker.

Now onto the reds. Château Signac 2018 is a great new addition. A blend of Grenache and Syrah from the Rhône Valley which has not seen any oak aging as to preserve the aromas of the fruit, and keep it from being astringent. It is light enough to be considered for the four cups and delivers excellent quality at an affordable price tag. The Or Haganuz Amuka Light 2019 is another must-have this coming Pesach.

Thanks to a new technology developed by the winery, this fine, dry Cabernet Sauvignon sports only 9% alcohol. It ticks all the boxes: dark fruit aromas, silky, medium-bodied mouthfeel with soft tannins.

Pesach is also one of the holidays on which I enjoy opening a well-aged bottle of red wine. I do realize, however, that not everyone is hoarding wine as I do or has the room and storage conditions for that.

While it will age gracefully for many years to come, the Château Grand-Puy Ducasse Pauillac 2015 is already drinking nicely, with some aged/tertiary earthy and savory notes.

Let’s prepare for a Pesach filled with the knowledge and confidence that G-d is in charge, and even if we might not be able to show our gratitude for our freedom by davening with a minyan, we will nonetheless do our best to enjoy and embellish every aspect of Pesach and the Sedarim.

Chag kasher v’sameach, l’chaim!

The Jewish Home | APRIL 3, 2020

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APRIL 3, 2020 | The Jewish Home

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YUConnects Connecting

By Marjorie Glatt and Mindy Eisenman

O

ur entire world has just been upended. It has become a complex and complicated place. The Covid-19 crisis has understandably impacted our health system, the economy, education and many other aspects of daily living.

But what about dating? Can it survive, or even thrive, in this new “social distancing” atmosphere? There have always been challenges for the Jewish Orthodox dater. Is it still possible to navigate and build meaningful relationships?

As Klal Yisrael, the Jewish people, we don’t give up hope easily.

During the bondage in Mitzrayim, the Jewish women had the courage to fight for the continuity of our people.

And despite the persecution and torture, they knew that ultimately new families and a nation would be born.

At YUConnects, our staff is working hard, contributing their time and skills (and all their hearts) to reach out to our members who are isolated with few “live” social opportunities.

The amount of interest in dating is incredible. Indeed, we encourage those who have begun to date to continue to do so. Based on the advice of Rabbi Willig and Rabbi Dr. Aaron Glatt, we recommend only virtual dating (phone calls, WhatsApp or facetime/zoom technology) at this point. Meeting outside, even at a distance, or in a large room, all have the potential to spread this dangerous

virus, they state. Of course, we pray for a change in circumstances as this guidance is applicable for the end of March 2020, and is always subject to change.

Virtual dating is clearly on the rise and our dedicated matchmakers are offering guidance and tips. A nice benefit is that people are becoming more relaxed in accepting some match ideas… “He doesn’t wear a hat?

I’ll speak to him anyway” … “She didn’t go to a certain school? That’s OK because I’ll find out more on the facetime call.” When people seek relationships to remove themselves from isolation, our prior walls and restrictions are falling. The resource guide prepared by YUConnects staff has been circulated online and not only offers practical tips on lighting and timing for video chats but includes innovative dating ideas. Virtual tours of museums, downloading

game apps, reading aloud together or learning a hobby can all bring about new friendships, and more.

YUConnects recently ran a popular webinar, “The New World of Dating,” which includes some of these pointers and is available on YUTorah.

Featuring Rabbi Mordechai Willig, Rabbi Dr. Aaron Glatt, Rabbi Dr. Jonathan Schwartz, and Mrs. Mindy Eisenman, many aspects of virtual dating were covered. Zoom capacity was maxed out but further forums are being planned. One young woman even wrote to the organizers asking if she could get information about “the cute guy in the blue sweater” who intrigued her when she spotted him in a Zoom box. The overall feedback by the community was quite appreciative and positive.

There have also been requests for “virtual social events” that are popping up in many creative ways.

YUConnects matchmakers, along with other groups like “Bergen Connections,” have run small interesting group virtual meetings via Google hangout or Zoom. Other innovative programs are being planned such as game nights and special lectures for compatible singles.

Everyone is looking for deeper meaning in difficult period in our lives. Many of us have tried to become better people and improve our middos, davening, or personal skills.

Those who are currently unmarried are re-examining their values, honing up their own personal/professional talents and doing chessed for others. By focusing on building simple friendships, enjoying some online activities and becoming open to new ideas, may everyone be granted the opportunity to find love. With Hashem’s help, our community will remain safe and be blessed to build many new Jewish homes.

Marjorie Glatt is the Special Projects Coordinator of YUConnects and Mindy Eisenman is the Staff Connector of YUConnects. YUConnects offers unique social events, targeted matchmaking and educational programs to foster healthy relationships toward marriage. It is self-funded and open to the entire Jewish Community. As of March 2020, YUConnects has made 403 engagements.

For more information, email yuconnects@yu.edu or go to www.yuconnects.com.

BYAM Pesach Chessed Initiative

T

hese are challenging times for all of us, both in our community and in the world at large.

Purim, spent with our family and friends, as well as school chagigahs and carnivals, seem like a lifetime away! It took us all by surprise as the week after Purim dawned on us, with schools and businesses closed. Bais Yaakov Ateres Miriam rose to the challenge and immediately set up all classes via teleconferences. Our devoted teaching staff was eager to implement this new method of teaching because they missed their students and could not wait to reconnect! In addition to the daily lessons by both

limudei chodesh and limudei chol, the girls are treated to a story and words of chizuk by Rabbi Neuman and Mrs. Zytman alternatively via a nightly chizuk phone call. You can practically see the girls’ faces light up as Rabbi Neuman and Mrs. Zytman ask everyone to introduce themselves, and they personally welcome them to the call. It always ends with a message to stay strong, along with tips on how to keep things positive.

At Bais Yaakov Ateres Miriam, our goal is to foster a family environment where everyone feels loved and cared about, giving our students the wherewithal to reach out to others.

Therefore, the hanhallah has taken on an initiative to reach out to those who may feel isolated and alone due to the current situation. Our talmidos will be starting an email writing campaign to residents at Five Towns Premier Nursing Home and at Morris Park, which have been on lockdown for a few weeks now. The girls will introduce themselves and give the residents a glimpse into the girls’ lives.

This will create a personal connection which we would like to build on once we are able to go and visit The Premier and Morris Park personally.

The girls will then have an opportunity to meet their “pen pal,” which

will be a real treat for both parties involved! What better way to pass the time at hand than to reach out to others? And what better lesson can we give to our talmidos than teaching them to always be on the lookout for someone who may be lonely and could use a friend, even if we are going through a difficult time as well?

Wishing a refuah shleimah to everyone who needs one. May this mageifa be removed from Klal Yisroel and the world, and may we all be zocheh to greet Moshiach, speedily in our days.

The Jewish Home | APRIL 3, 2020

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APRIL 3, 2020 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

Exercise!

o D u o Y What Did ? k e e W s Thi

s r e d a e R TJH y o j n E y l e Productiv e m o H t a e Their Tim

Enjoying the weather at the beach

Color war!

Gratefulness from the Badian family

Making a collage

The Jewish Home | APRIL 3, 2020

Around the Community

Decorating pillowcases for Pesach A portrait of the Frierdiker Rebbe

by Shmuel Chaim, age 12

Learning online

A mock wedding Face paint

A chalk mosaic

Decorating our Kos Shel Eliyahu

Chana Weinstock

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APRIL 3, 2020 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

Coloring, age 5 Shira H,

Playing the guitar

Reenie Fried, age 4, doing yoga

Painting for Pesach

Aviva H, decorati ng her notebook

Expressing their appreciation

The Jewish Home | APRIL 3, 2020

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APRIL 3, 2020 | The Jewish Home

WORLD SIYUM IN BELARUS HIGHLIGHTS THE ETERNITY OF TORAH AND KLAL YISRAEL One of the Only Countries in the World that Hashem Has Spared from Corona Celebrates Siyum Hashas

By Chaim Gold

“I

looked at the orchestra and had to rub my eyes. Was I dreaming? We were in the middle of a festive Siyum HaShas and the orchestra playing lively Yiddishe niggunim was the orchestra of the Police Academy of Minsk, Belarus!

Yes, just a few decades ago, those same policemen were persecuting Jews for learning Torah and possibly sending them to Siberia for their horribly counter-revolutionary activity of teaching Jews Torah and today. They were the musicians playing ‘Toras Hashem Temimah’ and ‘Siman Tov U’mazel Tov’ at our Siyum HaShas!”

Those were the thoughts of Rabbi Moshe Fhima, the local Menahel of Mosdos Yad Yisroel, cheder, yeshiva and kollel, in Belarus after participating in the Dirshu World Siyum this past Thursday, 23 Adar/March 19. The siyum, the largest Torah gathering ever held in Minsk Region since the Holocaust, kicked off an entire Shabbos of chizuk for lomdei Torah under the auspices of Dirshu and Mosdos Yad Yisroel.

Readers may be asking, “What is going on? We are in the middle of an epidemic?

How were they able to make a siyum?!” The answer is that, amazingly, officially there is no coronavirus in Belarus. All schools and shuls are open, there are no laws implementing social distancing, and at this juncture it is one of the only places in the world that has been spared. Nevertheless, even at the festive occasion of a Siyum HaShas, many sanitary precautions were put in place to ensure maximum safety for all participants.

Participants dancing at the Pinsk Dirshu World Siyum

The Siyum HaShas in the Minsk region was the last siyum culminating the winter of World Siyumim held around the world. Perhaps it is especially appropriate that this should be the last venue for a siyum in keeping with the worlds of Chazal, “acharon acharon chaviv.” After all, Belarus was once a region home to some of the greatest Torah centers in pre-war Europe such as Radin, Mir, Kletzk, Novardok and Baranovich, to name a few. It was also the cradle of the nascent Chassidic movement and until the war was the epicenter of Karlin-Stolin Chassidus. Then Communism came, and the centers of Torah and Chassidus were shuttered as the poor Jews were subject to many decades of a gezeiras hashmad.

Now, before our eyes, the entire region is undergoing a rejuvenation of Yiddishkeit.

Rav Fhima has established a cheder, yeshiva and a kollel for the throngs of Yidden returning to their heritage and, in these mosdos, the Daf HaYomi is once again being learned in an unprecedented manner. In fact, Reb Moshe told this writer that participation in the Daf HaYomi has tripled since the beginning of the new machzor!

The Importance of Torah Rav Fhima attributes the exponential growth in Torah in part to the fact that Dirshu has taken the pains to organize a large, beautiful siyum.

“I cannot tell you what an impact this has had on Belarus Yidden. The fact that the siyum was prepared with such detail, the venue, the menu, the entertainment… brought home a profound lesson to them. A siyum is the greatest, most important simcha in Jewish life. It is greater than a bar mitzvah and greater than a chasunah because there is nothing dearer to Hashem than Torah learning.

“The ‘tumult’ of a beautiful siyum with an orchestra playing Jewish music has made kavod haTorah and kavod talmidei chachomim paramount. At the siyum, we also showed highlights from the other siyumim held worldwide and the members of our community, either baalei teshuva or people who are on the path of the teshuva process, felt connected to the worldwide Torah community in an unprecedented way.”

The siyum and the Shabbos of Chizuk held on Shabbos Parshas Vayakhel Pikudei at the Chaika Resort near Minsk was a Torah event that Belarus

Jewry had never experienced.

“The achdus, the inspiration for continued dedication to Torah, is something I never before saw in this country,” said Reb Moshe.

Reb Moshe Fhima was honored with delivering the Hadran and making the Siyum HaShas. Originally the siyum was to feature two world renowned guests from Eretz Yisrael, HaGaon HaRav Nisson Kaplan, shlita, Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshiva Daas Aharon, and HaGaon HaRav Chizkyahu Yosef Mishkovsky, shlita, Menahel Ruchani of Yeshiva Orchos Torah. The Nasi of Dirshu, Rav Dovid Hofstedter, was also slated to come. Due to the worldwide shutdown, they were unable to participate.

That did not, however, diminish the simcha.

From Bris to Siyum…

Five Years of Growth in Torah One of the most poignant highlights of the program was the siyum on Masechta Sukka by fifteen-year old Yisroel Meir Burak. Who is Yisroel Meir Burak and what is so special about him?

Five years ago, in the month of Elul, 2015, this writer wrote about a remarkable

bris that took place at the Radin Yeshiva on the yahrzeit of the Chofetz Chaim. On that day, Dirshu held a special yom limud and tefillah at the kever of the Chofetz Chaim on his yahrzeit. On that morning, during Shacharis, a unique bris mila took place. The then-eleven-year old boy who underwent a bris was a boy named Igor Burak. Igor had been born and raised in Pinsk

by Jewish parents who knew absolutely nothing about Yiddishkeit. Somehow, he made the acquaintance of Rav Moshe Fhima and, through Yad Yisroel, became closer to Yiddishkeit and joined the Karlin-Stoliner Yeshiva in Pinsk. Reb Moshe brought him to Radin where several Gedolei Yisrael, led by HaGaonim HaRav Shmuel Yaakov Borenstein, HaRav Shimon Galei and HaRav Chizkiyahu Yosef Mishkovsky, shlita, had gathered. Rav Dovid Hofstedter was honored as sandek.

Five years ago, we wrote: The painful procedure was sustained with simcha and mesiras nefesh by the young boy. As the procedure was being performed, he shouted the words, “Shema Yisrael Hashem Elokeinu Hashem Echad.” A shudder seemed to collectively shake the assemblage as they heard the words, “V’yekaraei shmo b’Yisrael, ‘Yisrael Meir!’” Another holy neshama bearing the name of the holy Chofetz Chaim.

After the bris, before delivering that day’s Daf HaYomi B’Halacha shiur, Dirshu’s Nasi, Rav Dovid Hofstedter, shlita, thanked the rabbanim for taking the time to come despite the hectic timeframe.

He talked with great wonder about the open miracle that even after the great churban of the Holocaust it was possi-

The Jewish Home | APRIL 3, 2020

The Chaika Resort, site of the Dirshu World Siyum in Eastern Europe

Rabbi Moshe Fhima addressing the Dirshu World Siyum in Pinsk

ble to have so many talmidei chachamim davening and celebrating a bris in the Radin Yeshiva! “It is a miraculous occurrence that we would never have dreamed could transpire!”

Now this same Yisroel Meir was making a siyum on Masechta Sukka that he had learned by heart! The power of “Netzach Yisrael lo yishaker” could be felt in the room!

The Fire of Torah is Burning One of the main speakers at the event was Rav Mordechai Reichenstein, chief rabbi of Belarus. Rav Reichenstein’s story is tremendously compelling. Born in Belarus, he embarked on the path of teshuva that eventually brought him to Yeshiva Aish HaTorah.

Rav Reichenstein cited the famed Gemara wherein it states that after the destruction of the second Bais Hamikdash, the Romans continued increasing their oppression of the Jewish People. Recognizing the Torah as the source of the Jews’ indomitable spirit, the Romans issued an edict outlawing any study of Torah, the violation of which was punishable by death.

But Rabi Akiva disregarded the ban. Not only did he continue studying Torah, he continued teaching Torah publicly, flouting the edict as if the Romans had no authority over him or his fellow Jews.

Pappus ben Yehudah, a childhood friend of Rabi Akiva, had responded to the Roman occupation somewhat differently. Seeking protection by currying favor with his Roman overlords, Pappus adopted Roman customs seeking to convince his new masters that he was their loyal subject.

Upon discovering Rabi Akiva’s seeming disregard for the danger presented by Rome, Pappus could not contain his horror. “Akiva!” he cried. “Do you think the Romans won’t notice you transgressing their laws right before their eyes? Do you think they will show you more mercy than they have shown the others?”

Rather than answer his friend’s argument directly, Rabbi Akiva replied with a mashal: A fox was once walking along the bank of a river, when he noticed a school of fish darting to and fro in the water. “Why do you race back and forth?” the fox asked the fish.

“We are fleeing the nets of the fisherman,” the fish answered the fox.

“Well, if it is the fisherman you fear,” replied the fox, “come up here on dry land, and we can live together in peace as our ancestors did.”

“Are you a fox, whom they call the wisest of all animals?” the fish cried. “If we are in danger here in the water, which is our natural environment, what hope would

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The Minsk Police Academy Orchestra performing at the Dirshu World Siyum

we have of finding safety by abandoning the conditions that enable us to survive?”

“And so it is with us,” Rabi Akiva told his friend. “Torah is our natural environment. It is the air that we breathe and the water that we drink. If it is dangerous for us to live with the Torah, it can only become more dangerous for us to forsake the Torah.”

Rav Reichenstein pointed out, “Now, at a time when most of the world has been prevented from publicly learning Torah due to the virus, it is even more incumbent on us, here to keep the flame of Torah burning!”

Witnessing a Renewed Kabbolas HaTorah!

Another highlight was the drasha delivered remotely but live by Rav Dovid Hofstedter, who participated from his home in Toronto.

Rav Hofstedter cited a Medrash Tanchuma that: Hashem said to Moshe, “They shall make a Mishkan for Me, and I shall dwell among them” (ibid.

25:8), so that all the nations shall know that they have been forgiven for the sin of the golden calf. This is why it is called ‘the Mishkan of Testimony,’ for it bears witness for all the people of the world to the fact that Hashem dwells in their Sanctuary.

Rav Hofstedter asked, “Haven’t we already been told that Hashem pardoned Yisrael for the sin of the calf? Didn’t we learn that Hashem told Moshe, ‘I have forgiven [them] according to your word’ (Bamidbar 14:20)? If so, why was it necessary for the construction of the Mishkan to bear witness to the fact that they had been forgiven? Are Hash-

em’s words, ‘I have forgiven according to your word,’ not sufficient?

“In the wake of every sin,” Rav Hofstedter continued, “follow two consequences: The appropriate punishment and a fall from favor. Although words of repentance may effectively protect a baal teshuva from punishment, they do not necessarily restore the sinner to his former level of favor, from which he had fallen; they cannot cleanse his soul of the spiritual filth with which his sin besmirched it.

That [cleansing] can only be accomplished through concrete deeds, deeds that testify to a change in attitude, deeds that bear witness to the recreation of the former sinner as a new person.”

He explained, “While it is possible for a person to say, ‘I am mochel you,’ it does not mean that the previous love they had for each other is restored. The Mishkan, was a testament that Hashem had embraced them anew.”

Rav Hofstedter said with great emotion, “For so many decades, Pinsk, Minsk and the entire Belarus has been a desolate midbar of ruchniyus. Now Hashem has shown His tremendous love for His children in this previously forsaken land, returning His Shechina to Pinsk, Minsk and the entire region. Today, we have witnessed a renewed kabbolas haTorah in this region with Torah restored to its previous dwelling place.”

The Largest Kriyas Shema Leining in the World It was a profound, moving event that ended off the Thursday night siyum. A Yid

named Rav Nachman Blau, a shaliach from Eretz Yisroel who is a rebbi in the Stoliner Yeshiva in Pinsk, had moved together with his rebbetzin and family to Pinsk with great mesiras nefesh. One week prior to the siyum, the Blaus were blessed with a baby boy.

A mohel could not be flown in from Eretz Yisroel because no mohel wanted to be subject to 14 days quarantine upon return. Finally, Rabbi Yisroel Schleider, a mohel from England agreed to come. That, too, was not simple. He could not fly directly from England to Belarus because there were no flights. He therefore flew from England to France and from France he was able to make it to Belarus. He arrived Thursday evening and the bris was held Friday morning.

The special night of the Siyum HaShas, that signaled a tripling in Daf Yomi enrollment and the siyum of young Yisroel Meir Burak ended with what was probably the biggest “vacht nacht, Kriyas Shema lenining” on the night before a bris, ever experienced in that region. The entire crowd rose and said Shema with the pesukim of shemirah around that baby’s bed having in mind tefillos beseeching Hashem for shemirah for their brothers and sisters around the world who are in such need of rachmei Shomayim.

Yes, it was a closing of the circle. In the country where, not so long ago, bris milah was prohibited, the largest vact nacht was held. In the country where, not so long ago, Torah was prohibited, the largest siyum was held and Torah is today thriving. Netzach Yisrael lo yeshaker.

OCTOBER 29, 2015 The Jewish Home APRIL 3, 2020 | The |Jewish Home

TJH Did You Know?

When three-letter airport codes became standard, airports that had been using two letters simply added an X.

If you start counting at one and spell out the numbers as you go, you won’t use the letter “A” until you reach 1,000.

Rhode Island is the smallest state but has the longest name.

The official name, used on all state documents, is “Rhode Island and Providence Plantations.”

The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.

Alaska is the only state that you can type out its name using only one line of a keyboard.

According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the word “set” has the most definitions, with 464.

The word “run” runs a distant second, with 396 definitions.

No word in the English language rhymes with month.

Centerfold A normal, relaxed blinking rate is 6-8 blinks per minute, and the eyes are closed for about 1/10th of a second.

The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called “aglets.”

Diet Coke was only invented in 1982.

There are 10 human body parts that are only 3 letters long (eye, hip, arm, leg, ear, toe, jaw, rib, lip, gum).

If you have 3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.

Riddle me

this?

You are given a 5-gallon barrel and a 3-gallon barrel. You are told to go to the sink and fill the 5-gallon barrel with 4 gallons of water. You don’t have any measuring devices. What do you do to make sure the 5-gallon barrel has only 4 gallons of water using the items you have?

See answer below

Answer to Riddle Me This: You fill the 5-gallon barrel up and pour it into the 3-gallon barrel. Then dump the 3-gallon barrel out and pour what was left in the 5-gallon barrel into the 3-gallon barrel so that you have 2 gallons in the 3-gallon barrel. Then fill the 5-gallon barrel up and pour it into the 3-gallon barrel to fill it up. Now you have 4 gallons in the 5-gallon barrel.

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The Jewish HomeHome | OCTOBER 2015 The Jewish | APRIL29, 3, 2020

Mensa Quiz So you think your IQ is in the top 2% of the population and you belong in the Mensa Society?

Here are 10 sample Mensa questions. See whether you really belong:

 Answers 4)

9 p.m.

3)

CON

2)

25

1)

8) 7) 6) 5)

12 — 4 years ago Jane was 8, Sam was 4. In 4 No 8 DAY

How many four-sided figures are in this diagram?

B - Both grow in the ground

1.

10) 20 9)

Parachute years from now, Jane will be 16 and Sam will be 12

 Wisdom Key 2. Which same three-letter word can be placed in front of the following words to make a new word?

SIGN, DONE, DUCT, FOUND, FIRM, TRACT, DENSE 3. If it were two hours later, it would be half as long until midnight as it would be if it were an hour later. What time is it now?

4. Pear is to apple as potato is to: (a) banana, (b) radish, (c) strawberry, (d) peach, (e) lettuce.

5. The same three-letter word can be placed in front of the following words to make a new word: LIGHT, BREAK, TIME 6. If a circle is one, how many is an octagon?

7.

There are 1,200 elephants in a herd. Some have pink and green stripes, some are all pink, and some are all blue. One third are pure pink. Is it true that 400 elephants are definitely blue?

8. Four years ago, Jane was twice as old as Sam. Four years on from now, Sam will be 3/4 of Jane’s age. How old is Jane now?

9. What is the following word when it is unscrambled: HCPRAATEU 10. If you count from 1 to 100, how many 7’s will you pass on the way?

8-10 correct (in approximately 10 minutes): Genius alert! Umm, check out Mensa...for real.

5-7 correct: You probably won’t make the cut, but you are smart enough for people to believe you if you tell them that you are a member. (Essentially, I am telling you that if you are a liar, this would be a great lie for you to say.)

2-4 correct: Not exactly a genius but you got enough correct that you are free to let your hair grow out in all directions, especially if you have a good bald spot.

0-1 correct: You are the Albert Einstein of our time! You should also see if you can sign up for the Mickey Mouse society; it’s real prestigious.

You gotta be kidding Seymour comes running into shul one night, all out of breath and very excited. “What is happening, Seymour?” asks Yankel.

“Oh, you would never believe it, Yankel,” says Seymour. “I was trying to catch the bus back from work and I missed it. So I chased it to the next stop, and I missed it again. I kept missing it, and before I knew it, I chased it all the way to here.”

Yankel says, “So, why are you so excited?”

Seymour replies, “What do you mean? It’s amazing! I got here and saved the money that I would have had to spend on the bus.”

Yankel shoots back, “You should have chased a taxi. You would have saved a lot more money!”

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APRIL 3, 2020 | The Jewish Home

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

3

Torah Thought

Parshas Tzav

By Rabbi Berel Wein

I

n this week’s Torah reading we are taught that the sons of Aaron, the priestly clan of Israel, were charged with the responsibility of keeping an eternal permanent flame burning on the sacrificial altar of the Temple.

This miraculous flame appeared to form the image of a crouching lion on the top of that altar. This permanent flame was in addition to another permanent eternal light that emanated from one of the arms of the great

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candelabra of gold that was in the southern part of the Temple.

So, the question naturally arises as to why there were two permanent flames necessary for the Temple service to be considered proper and valid. There are no extraneous commandments or rituals in the Torah. Everything has a purpose and a meaning, a valuable lesson of eternal worth.

ents required in order to live a truly rewarding Jewish life. One is sacrifice. We train ourselves to consider others, for the future and for different causes and goals. The selfish individual abhors the idea of sacrifice generally and of a lifetime of permanent sacrifice particularly. Such a person never deals with the eternal and only lives in the temporary present. Such a life is eventually seen

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The great commentators of the Torah over the ages have advanced many different reasons for this duality, of two eternal lights burning permanently in the Temple.

One of the well-known approaches to understanding the Torah is to appreciate that there are many different layers of interpretation regarding any given commandment. That is what the rabbis meant when they said that sometimes the words of the Torah appear lacking in one context but will be rich and meaningful when viewed in a different light and context.

The two eternal lights in the Temple represent the two basic ingredi-

as without warmth and light. Life becomes a very cold altar of forced events, and the crouching lion of life’s events overwhelms all.

It is the eternal light of sacrifice that makes life meaningful and human souls eternal. The other eternal light of the candelabra is meant to counter and remove the abyss of fear, superstition, and emptiness. It is the knowledge of Torah that sustains us and grants necessary meaning to all human behavior and actions. Both eternal lights point our way towards building our own personal sanctuary of holiness and purposeful living.

Shabbat shalom and chag kasher v’sameach.

The Jewish Home | APRIL 3, 2020

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OCTOBER 29, 2015 The Jewish Home APRIL 3, 2020 | The |Jewish Home

From the Fire

Shabbos Hagadol The Challenge of Finding Our Chametz

By Rav Moshe Weinberger Adapted for publication by Binyomin Wolf

Hiding the Chametz Rav Moshe Isserles, the Rama, writes (Orach Chaim 432:2) that “it is customary to place pieces of chametz somewhere where the searcher will find them in order that his blessing not be in vain, although if this was not done, it does not prevent him [from making the blessing], because every person’s intention [in making the blessing] is to destroy [the chametz] if he finds any.” In other words, the children should not hide the pieces of chametz so well that the father will be unable to find them. They should place the pieces of chametz in places where their father will be able to find them easily.

The Mishna Berura there (also citing the Taz) explains that the Rama is not actually concerned about the issue of making a blessing in vain because the mitzvah is to search for the chametz, and it means nothing if he does not find any.

The Shaar Hatziyun there quotes the Pischei Teshuva in the name of the Emek Halacha that “nowadays, when the custom is to clean the house so well before the night of the fourteenth that there is no chance of finding chametz during the search, this custom has the status of an obligation.” In other words, today, we clean our houses so well that the entire house has the status of a place where chametz is never brought,

such that one is completely exempt from searching for chametz in his own house and is therefore only permitted to make the blessing if he places the pieces of chametz in the house before searching.

Rav Elyashiv, zt”l, accepts this reasoning and maintains that if one made the blessing and then conducted the search for chametz without first hiding pieces of chametz, his blessing was in vain. Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach, zt”l, however, holds (Halichos Shlomo) that it would not be a blessing in vain because he still had an obligation to perform the search “in order to discern very well whether they truly cleaned every place and whether it did not happen that some chametz was not brought back in, so his blessing was proper.” According to Rav Shlomo Zalman, even where the house was cleaned very well in advance, it was still the search for the chametz that gave the house its status of a searched house.

According to Rav Elyashiv, the cleaning we perform in the house gives it the status of a place where chametz is not brought, such that Chazal never instituted the mitzvah of searching for chametz in such a house. According to Rav Shlomo Zalman, however, the only way to discharge one’s obligation is through searching the house – no assump-

tion exists that such a house is chametz-free, and one must search for chametz there and make a blessing.

The nafka mina, practical outcome, of this dispute is that, according to Rav Elyashiv, the search is only performed for the sake of the pieces of chametz one hides in the house, such that after those pieces are found, there is no need to continue searching, as the tzaddikim were accustomed to doing over the generations. According to him, the search is not truly an all-out search for the chametz and the blessing one says over the search is really just over the gathering of the ten pieces and their removal from the house. The blessing al biur chametz, “over the destruction of the chametz,” is really using the word biur to mean “remove,” as in the pasuk (Devarim 26:13), “Bi’arti ha’kodesh min ha’bayis, I have removed (“bi’arti”) the holy items from the house.” The completion of this process is the burning of the chametz the next morning.

We all know that there is something deeper going on as well with these little pieces of bread. The halachic authorities all quote the Arizal that there are reasons according to kabbalah to place ten pieces of bread.

Wherever the Arizal says that there should be ten of something, we understand that this corresponds to the ten sefiros, the ten types of forc-

es in the world and the ten channels through which everything in this world exists. This means that these ten little pieces of chametz have some connection to all of reality.

Blessed is He Who has Given Me all that I Need We know that according to the Tur (Orach Chaim 430), the great miracle that occurred on Shabbos Hagadol was that at the first Pesach, while we were still in Egypt, “And each Jewish person took a lamb for his Pesach offering and tied it to his bedposts... and the Egyptians saw this and asked them, ‘Why are you doing this?” and they answered them, ‘In order to slaughter it as a Pesach offering because of G-d’s command to us,’ and the Egyptians ground their teeth because they were slaughtering their gods.”

According to the deeper seforim, however, it is known (Zohar Yisro) that “all of the blessings above and below are dependent on the seventh day.” Pesach, therefore, draws its sanctity from the Shabbos before Pesach. According to this reality, this Shabbos is called “Shabbos Hagadol,” the “Great Shabbos,” because it contains within it the holiness of Shabbos as well as the sanctity of Pesach.

We must ask ourselves two questions about this mitzvah to watch

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over the lamb starting on the tenth of Nissan. The first is why Hashem commanded us to watch over the lamb four full days before slaughtering it on the fourteenth of Nissan.

Rashi (on Shmos 12:6) answers: Why did the Jewish people have to take the lamb four days before slaughtering it, which was not part of the mitzvah of the Pesach offering in future generations? Rav Masya ben Charash says, “The verse (Yechezekl 16:8) says, ‘And I will pass over you’ and I see you and behold, your time was a time of love. The time has come [to redeem] the oath that I made to Avraham that I would redeem his children,’ but they had no mitzvos to busy themselves with in order that they should be redeemed, as it says (Id. at 7) ‘And you were naked and bare,’ so I gave them two mitzvos: the blood of Pesach and the blood of bris mila.”

But how does Rashi’s answer explain why the lamb for Pesach had to be brought into the house four days early? Putting aside the issue of bris mila, the Jewish people could have bought the lamb on the fourteenth of Nissan, the same day it was to be slaughtered in order to acquire the merit of the mitzvah of the blood of Pesach. How has Rashi explained the requirement to bring the lamb into the home four days early?

The second question is why the Tur points out that the lamb was tied to the bedposts specifically. What difference does it make where the animal is tied while it is being kept in the home for those four days?

The words we are about to study will knock on the doors of your hearts. Please let them in! On Pesach, one is not only supposed to open the door for Eliyahu Hanavi, but also kol d’chfin, every impoverished person, everyone who needs to come inside.

The deeper seforim teach us that Pesach is the Rosh Hashana of emunah, of faith. We must not only believe that there is a G-d, but also that He creates and conducts every created thing and He did, does, and will do everything that is done, such that each person has everything that he is meant to have and that he

is not meant to have anything which he does not have because (Yuma 38b) “one does not have the ability to touch something that is not his.”

According to the Zohar, matzah is called the “bread of emunah, faith” Matzah must be made from one of the five types of grain. According to the Gemara (Brachos 40a), “Rabi Yehuda says [the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge from which Adam ate was] wheat because a child does not know how to call out ‘father’ or ‘mother’ until he has tasted grain.”

According to Rabi Yehuda, daas, knowledge, means the innate knowledge of who one’s father and mother are and that knowledge comes through eating the grain from which matzah is made. A child has the innate understanding that the person giving him his food is his mother or

to Mezrich to study with the Maggid. He expected him to devote all of his time to studying Torah in Berditchev. After one particularly long visit to Mezrich, he asked Rav Levi Yitzchak, “So what did you learn over all that time in Mezrich?” Rav Levi Yitzchak answered him, “I learned that there is a G-d.” Unimpressed, his father-in-law called over the maid servant and asked her, “Do you believe in G-d?” She answered that, of course, yes, she believes in G-d. After dismissing her, he said to Rav Levi Yitzchak, “You see, even a maid servant believes there is a G-d.

I do not understand why you had to spend so much time in Mezrich to learn this.” But Rav Levi Yitzchak answered him, “She says that there is a G-d. But I know there is a G-d.”

Every morning we thank Hash-

Rav Levi Yitzchak answered him, “She says that there is a G-d. But I know there is a G-d.”

father and that they take care of everything he needs.

On Pesach, when we eat michla d’mhimnusa, the “bread of emunah,” we internalize our connection with our Father. On Pesach we ask, “Who knows One?” and we answer, “I know One. I know the One who spoke and brought the world into being.” When we eat the bread of emunah, we are like that child who possesses an innate knowledge of his father “who was acquired by Father for two zuzim,” with the two tablets on Sinai. It says in Tehillim (131:2), “I calmed my soul like a suckling upon its mother, like a suckling was my soul with me.” Just as a child knows, even if not consciously, that everything that his mother does for him, even if it hurts or is uncomfortable, is for his good, so too my soul knows Hashem.

It is known that Rav Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev’s fatherin-law was not happy that he was spending significant time traveling

em, “She’asa li kol tzarchi, Who has taken care of all my needs.” The Gemara (Brachos 60b) states that this blessing was initially instituted to be said when one puts his shoes on in the morning. And according to the Kaf Hachaim (46), one does not say this blessing on Yom Kippur when it is forbidden to wear proper shoes.

Those who have survived the Holocaust understand why having shoes means having everything one needs. In the camps, a person’s most precious possession, for which he would give his life, was his shoes.

Even growing up in America, my father, who survived the camps, taught us how precious shoes are. We had a ritual in our home where everyone gathered their shoes together and brought them to my father who would polish all of the shoes for Shabbos. He always explained how important it is to take care of one’s shoes. And when I got older, my initiation into manhood was taking over

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the job of polishing everyone’s shoes each week before Shabbos.

The Chofetz Chaim, zy”a, asked a certain Jew how his livelihood was going, and the man answered him, “It could be better.” The Chofetz Chaim innocently answered him, “I don’t understand what you mean. If Hashem wanted it to be better, then it would be better. Since it is not better, that must mean that it couldn’t possibly be better than it is right now.” Only the Master of the World knows the root of every soul and exactly what each person needs, his “kol tzarchi,” for his ultimate and eternal good.

What prevents a person from being fully aware that Hashem is in charge and makes sure that he has exactly what he is supposed to have?

It is the earthliness that clouds our vision and dulls our spiritual senses. The moment our feet touch the earth in the morning when we sit up in bed, that earthliness threatens to take away our knowledge that Hashem gives us everything that we truly need. In order to put some space between that earthliness and ourselves, we wear shoes as a barrier.

Perhaps that is an additional reason why Chazal instituted that the blessing of “She’asa li kol tzarchi” is said when putting on one’s shoes.

Rav Shneur Zalman of Liadi, the Baal Hatanya, once commented about Rav Shlomo’le Karliner that he was a tefach, a handbreadth, above the earth. The chassidim used to say that if you looked under Rav Shlomo’le’s feet, you would see that there was a little space between him and the ground. The Baal Hatanya’s true intent, however, was that Rav Shlomo’le was not affected by the earthliness of the world and that there always seemed to be a separation between his elevated perception of reality and the forces of earthliness.

Shoes represent man’s effort to separate himself somewhat from the earth and remember that Hashem takes care of all of a person’s needs and that he has exactly what he is supposed to have. We can attain this perspective of faith on Pesach night when we eat the bread of emunah.

Perhaps this is why Hashem commanded the Jewish people: “this is how you shall eat [the matzah]... with

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your shoes on your feet...”

Based on this, we can understand why we eat maror, the bitter herb at the seder. One may have wondered why we eat maror to remember the bitterness of Egypt. It might make more sense to distance ourselves from all bitterness to remember how Hashem redeemed us from the bitterness of Egypt. Instead of eating the maror, we should have a ceremony at the seder where we prepare a plate of maror and then throw it out of the house. In reality, though, there is still bitterness in our lives.

At the seder, it is only after we have eaten the matzah, the “bread of emunah,” and understand that “He has taken care of all my needs,” that we may then eat the maror with the right perspective. After eating the bread of faith, we can understand how even the bitterness served to us in life is part of how Hashem “takes care of all of our needs” because He knows our souls’ true needs. We do not content ourselves with recognizing that Hashem gives us exactly what we need, however. After eating the maror, we say Hallel, praising Hashem for the bitterness.

As the Mishna says (Brachos 54a), “One must make a blessing on the bad just as one makes a blessing on the good, as it says, ‘b’chol meodecha,’ [you shall love Hashem with all of your might,’ [meaning that] with every portion which Hashem dishes out, middah, to you, give thanks, modeh, to Him.” Rashi, on the same pasuk (Devarim 6:5), explains, “‘With all of your might,’ with every measure that Hashem metes out to you, [meaning one should love Hashem whether He deals a person] with a ‘good’ measure or a ‘bad’ measure.” In other words, we do not content ourselves with accepting the “bad,” the bitterness in our lives. We bless and thank Hashem for it because after we have eaten the bread of faith, we know that whatever is measured out to us is part of how Hashem gives us exactly what we need.

That is how our fathers and mothers survived our many bitter exiles.

As the pasuk says (Shmos 1:6), “And the Jewish people were fruitful, swarmed, multiplied, and became exceedingly, b’me’od, me’od, numer-

ous.” They accepted the bitterness of the exile with the attitude of thanking Hashem exceedingly even for the “bad.” Through all their suffering, this faith in thanking Hashem for whatever He gave them became stronger and stronger, and they were strengthened by their belief in being exceedingly grateful for whatever Hashem gave them.

Because of the bitterness in life, we come to the seder with a lot more than four questions. We have questions about the quality of our marriages; it seems that we hear of a new divorce every day. We have questions about livelihood, our children, health, the situation with the Jews in Eretz Yisroel, and everything happening with the Jewish people throughout the exile as well.

The matzah, however, is called lechem oni, the bread of poverty, which Chazal (Pesachim 115b) call “the bread which answers many questions.” By internalizing emunah through the mitzvah of eating the “bread of faith,” our questions are answered because we realize that there are no questions.

Along these lines, Rav Meir Premishlaner said a beautiful drush on the pasuk (Devarim 10:16), “U’maltem es arlas levavchem v’arpichem lo sakshu od, And you shall circumcise the covering of your hearts and your necks will no longer be hard.” He explains that because of our sins, Hashem’s face is concealed and so we have many questions on

G-d. But when we do teshuva, when we circumcise our hearts and remove the stubbornness, the stiffness of our necks, then all of our questions, kushiyos, will automatically disappear. A Jew who has eaten the bread of faith and understands that “He has taken care of all my needs” has no more questions.

Jews who major in Yiddishkeit will understand the following words, though Jews for whom Yiddiskeit is their minor, for whom Torah and mitzvos are an interruption from what their life is about, will not relate to the following ideas at all. We know that for serious Jews, the biggest bitterness in life is the tests and temptations that threaten to throw them off course in their service of Hashem.

It is known that a Jew once came to the Chozeh of Lublin and poured out all of his bitterness, all of his maror, before the Chozeh. He told the Chozeh, though, that he accepted all of his difficulties with love and with emunah, but that he had one problem which he could not accept, and on which he still had a question. He was constantly busy with his work, and the distractions and impurities that he came in contact with because of his livelihood made it impossible for him to concentrate on his Torah and mitzvos. He begged the Chozeh to daven for him that the obstacles to his service of Hashem associated with his work should be removed.

The Chozeh agreed and began to daven for him. When they saw each

other again, the Chozeh told the man that after he davened for him, they answered him from heaven that they did not require high level Torah and prayer from him right now. What they require from him in heaven right now is that with all of his confusion and distractions that he does whatever he is able to in his service of Hashem.

Even one’s nisyonos, challenges, in his service of G-d, are part of how Hashem gives him exactly what he needs. Rav Nachman, in the Gemara in Eruvin (65a) says about his personal service of G-d, “I am a day laborer.” He had the perspective that his personal job in Yiddishkeit is not to concern himself with the “big” chunks of exalted service of G-d.

Rather, he viewed each individual piece of his service of Hashem as important in and of itself. Every little piece counts. Especially when it is difficult to eke out a little mitzvah here and there, each one becomes even more precious. Hashem knows how to weigh every piece of service of G-d according to who the person is and where he or she comes from.

Everything is measured according to the person’s mesiras nefesh, the self-sacrifice and exertion a person puts in to accomplish each and every mitzvah that he can in his effort to be a good worker, a faithful servant.

We are day workers, collecting every little mitzvah we can.

Mitzvos with Self-Sacrifice Now we can understand why Hashem told us to bring the lamb for Pesach into our homes several days before we were to slaughter it. Hashem gave the mitzvah of Pesach in order to allow us to merit redemption. It therefore would not have been sufficient for Him to tell us to acquire the lamb a few minutes before slaughtering it. Hashem knew that the mitzvah had to come with mesiras nefesh, self-sacrifice and maror. We had to feel the pressure from our Egyptian neighbors for a few days, upset that we were about to slaughter their god. We had to sweat. Only a mitzvah that comes with sweat and tears, with maror and mesiras nefesh can open the door of redemption, the door to Egypt, and the door to Eliyahu.

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In our generation, more people are learning Torah than ever before, and people are observing mitzvos in a way that is more mehudar, more proper, than ever before. Torah is more widely available than ever before and people have more time for learning than they ever had before.

Yet, we lack excitement and life in our Torah and mitzvos. We are not talking about people who are not observant or those who have gone “off the derech” of Yiddishkeit. Within our own frum communities, we do not feel invigorated by Torah and mitzvos. Why is this?

The Rebbe, Reb Elimelech of Lizhensk, in his sefer Noam Elimelech on Parshas Kedoshim says that a person must sanctify his limbs and sinews with good deeds and must toil with practical mitzvos. We must use our bodies to build a sukkah, we must use our hands to grind flour for the matzah. In previous generations, everything was hard. Mitzvos came with struggle, sweat, and toil. Just a few years ago, we would spend hours looking for a couple of kosher hadasim. The mitzvos required more work. This purified the body and made each mitzvah very precious to the person.

The Gemara in Kiddushin (41a) says, “It is better to do a mitzvah one’s self than through an agent.”

Rashi there explains that this is because when one is engaged in doing mitzvos with his body, he receives more reward.”

The previous Lubavitcher Rebbe, the Rebbe Rayatz, before becoming Rebbe, was the menahel, director, of the Lubavitch yeshiva. The administration of the yeshiva wanted to expel a certain boy from yeshiva who was not learning no matter what they tried. The Rayatz was unsure of what to do so he asked his father, the Rebbe Rashab. It was right before Pesach, and the Rebbe Rashab told him to put the boy in charge of cleaning the yeshiva for Pesach and coordinating the cooking of all of the yeshiva’s food for Pesach.

The Rebbe Rayatz did this and the boy completely turned around to become one of the yeshiva’s finest students. After Pesach he asked his father how he knew that this would work. He answered him that toiling

in mitzvos purifies physicality. It lifts a Jew up.

According to this, we understand why Hashem told us to take a oneyear-old lamb into the house four days before Pesach, with all of its messes, the obligation to feed it, and the derision and fear we endured from the Egyptians because of the mitzva. What an impression this must have made on their children!

Imagine how the Jewish children saw their parents working and suffering the hatred of the Egyptians as we prepared to slaughter their gods for the sake of the mitzvah. We now understand why the lamb had to be tied to the bed posts.

The Torah refers to one’s descendants as his “bed.” As the pasuk (Bereishis 47:31) says, “And

for Pesach, purify the Jewish body.

They give a person “shoes” to separate him from earthliness. The work and preparations are what make Yiddishkeit sweet. That is the fundamental aspect of Judaism which the wicked son denies. When one lacks the sweat and sacrifice of the mitzvos, all that’s left is the maror, the bitterness of Yiddishkeit, and what a terrible precedent that sets for our children.

We can now return to the Rama’s statement that one must place pieces of chametz in the house in order that the searcher should be able to find them during the search for the chametz. According to the Zohar Hakadosh (Teruma), Hashem created the evil inclination within a person to attempt to tempt him. The

Everything comes from Hashem, the great and loving King who places chametz in our lives so that we can overcome it and grow closer to Him.

Yisroel prostrated himself on the head of the bed,” which Rashi explains to mean that Yisroel bowed in order to give thanks for the fact that “his bed was whole,” i.e., he had no wicked children. Therefore, when Hashem told the Jewish people to take a lamb and tie it to the bed on Shabbos Hagadol, four days before Pesach, the intent was that the self-sacrifice of the mitzvah should bind the mitzvah to their children, to the future generations.

The Rasha, the wicked son, understands that we must keep the mitzvos. But his question is: “Why is it that you do all of this work?” He doesn’t understand why the family can’t simply go to a hotel for Pesach.

Why does it have to involve so much work and toil? He does not understand that while eating the matzah and maror may only take a few minutes, the primary part of the mitzvah, the sweat and toil of preparing

Zohar analogizes this to a king who wants to test whether his son truly loves him. He therefore hires someone to tempt his son to do something against his will. The king’s intent in sending this person to tempt his son is that the son should not succumb to the difficult test. Rather, the purpose is to strengthen the love and the connection between him and his son. Therefore, when the son overcomes the test and does not allow himself to transgress his father’s will by giving in when he is tested, this causes his father, the king, to rejoice immensely.

We can now understand the halacha that one is supposed to place the pieces of chametz somewhere where the person can easily find them. Hashem places all sorts of “chametz” in our lives, things that make it more difficult to learn Torah, to do mitzvos, and to maintain the holiness of our minds. The ob-

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stacles to our service of G-d are not coincidental. They were placed there so that one who tries will be able to find them and get rid of them.

Hashem is not trying to trick us or cause us to fail. He knows us and knows exactly what challenges we need in order to bring out our love for Hashem. Just like the children should not hide the chametz so well that the one who is searching should fail to find it, so too Hashem places chametz in our lives which we can overcome but which challenges us and makes us work and toil to achieve whatever we accomplish in Yiddishkeit.

As we explained above, whenever the Arizal says that we should have ten of something, it means that this thing includes all ten sefiros, all of the different types of forces that exist in the world. By looking for the ten pieces of chametz in our lives and trying to rid ourselves of them, we strengthen and purify all ten aspects of nature which are derived from the ten sefiros. Therefore, the ten pieces of chametz must be placed where they will easily be found. The challenges Hashem gives us make our accomplishments in Yiddishkeit sweeter because they come with hard work and despite obstacles are designed so that we will have the ability to overcome them. Hashem hides the chametz out in the open so that a serious Jew who searches the chambers of his own heart will find them and will be able to drive them out of himself and destroy them just as he does with the chametz. Everything comes from Hashem, the great and loving King who places chametz in our lives so that we can overcome it and grow closer to Him. May it be Hashem’s will that we find the chametz in our lives and destroy it and that the process of doing so should make Hashem’s Torah and mitzvos even sweeter. Then all of the maror will become sweet and may we merit to return next year in Yerushalayim.

Rav Moshe Weinberger, shlita, is the founding Morah d’Asrah of Congregation Aish Kodesh in Woodmere, NY, and serves as leader of the new mechina Emek HaMelech.

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Between the Lines

Doing Without?

By Eytan Kobre

It is preoccupation with possessions, more than anything else, that prevents us from living freely and nobly.

-Henry David Thoreau

I

n the late 1800s, a Scottish preacher named John Watson came upon one of his congregants grieving deeply. The man’s investments soured, and he endured crushing financial losses. Desperately stricken by this economic setback, the man cried, “Everything is gone!”

“Oh,” Watson said, “I’m sorry to hear your kind gentle wife is dead.”

The man pulled his head from his hands and looked up. “What?

My wife? She’s not dead.”

“Oh,” Watson continued. “Well, I’m saddened that your house has burned to the ground.”

The man looked stumped. “My house is just fine.”

“Oh,” Watson continued. “Then I’m sorry you have no bread to eat or water to drink.”

The man couldn’t understand it.

“Preacher, I have plenty to eat and drink.”

The pastor went on listing all the

man’s blessings and commiserating about his non-existent losses.

“With all due respect, Preacher,” said the congregant, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I still have all those things!”

“Then come to your senses, man!

You still have the things that are worthwhile!”

Moshe Rabbeinu’s assembly of the Jewish people “at the door of the tent of meeting” (Vayikra 8:3) is one of the instances where a “minimal held a multitude” (Rashi, Vayikra 8:3). While the Mishkan courtyard consisted of fewer than 5,000 square cubits, it somehow managed to contain 600,000 people (“all the congregation”). The Chasam Sofer explains that this miracle was intended to emphasize a simple but stark contrast: while the Mishkan was a magnificent structure, made of the finest, most precious materials, the Jewish people should be content with the simple, downto-earth lives expressed through crowding into a small space.

Indeed, “one who wishes to reach the will of his Creator should enter through the narrow entrance that the pious ones endure” (Chovos HaLevavos, Sha’ar HaTeshuva Chapter 10). Material excess and luxury is befitting G-d’s House; we, however,

should be guided by austerity.

Our ideal is a life of “eating bread with salt, drinking water in small measure, sleeping on the ground, and leading lives of deprivation” (Avos 6:4). While there is some debate as to whether such a life is required – it is at least strongly recommended (compare Meiri and Medrash Shmuel with Rashi and Machzor Vitri, Avos 6:4; Kalla Rabasi, Chapter 8; Binyan Olam, Chapter 13). “Give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me my allotted bread” (Mishlei 30:8; see also Yalkut Me’am Loez, Bamidbar 33:2; Rashi, Shemos 16:8). Before consuming Torah, one ought to pray that he not indulge material excesses (see Tosfos, Kesubos 104a).

This way of life has always been the hallmark of our holy ancestors.

It was the request of Yaakov Avinu for just “bread to eat and clothes to wear” (Bereishis 28:20). Esther, too, was seen as the paradigm of austerity for “not requesting anything” from Achashveirosh (Esther 2:15; see Da’as Chochma U’Mussar, Vol. 1, pg. 78). Because the righteous “do not ask for extras or luxuries.

They only ask what is necessary to live, without which man cannot survive” (Rabbeinu Bachaye, Bereishis 28:20).

Sufficing with less is a founda-

tional precept of the Torah (Even Sh’leima, Chapter 3) and “an exceptionally important and precious attribute” (Ma’alos HaMiddos, No. 21; see Kuntres Sefas Tamim 5).

Indeed, when the founder of the Bais Yaakov movement in America, Rebbetzin Vichna Kaplan, asked R’ Shraga Feivel Mendelowitz what to emphasize in the education of young American Jewish girls, he responded, “being content with less.”

To be sure, wealth is not the problem, and asceticism is not the answer. The Torah is not opposed to wealth per se (see e.g. Vayikra 26:3-13; Devarim 11:13-16; Devarim 25:15; Mishlei 22:4; Avos 6:8; Ma’alos HaMiddos No. 19), nor does it approve of asceticism (Nedarim 10a; Nedarim 22a; Taanis 11a; Yerushalmi, Nedarim 9:1; Yerushlami, Kiddushin 4:12; Rambam, Dei’os 3:1). Excess materialism is the problem. And – whether we know it or not – we are struggling mightily for the answer.

Excessive materialism makes one arrogant (Orchos Tzaddikim, Chapter 14; Maharsha, Berachos 57b), and it causes sin (Devarim 32:15; Mishlei 30:9; Berachos 32b; Chochma U’Mussar, Vol. 1, pg. 115).

Even worse, it enslaves us to the point where our very lives depend on it.

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A poor man once came to R’ Nechemia, who asked the poor man what he was accustomed to eating.

When the poor man replied that he was accustomed to eating fatty meat and aged wine (delicacies given to him by others), R’ Nechemia asked if he wished to join him in a meal of simple beans. The poor man agreed, but, after eating the beans, he died. R’ Nechemia wasn’t faulted for the poor man’s death; it was the poor man’s inability to adjust to eating anything but the delicacies to which he had become accustomed (Kesubos 67b; see also Chullin 84a [“A parent should not accustom his children to eat meat and wine”]).

R’ Yechezkel Abramsky told of how he, as a 17-year-old boy, sought admission into the Novardok yeshiva and visited the home of its leader, the Alter of Novardok. The Alter didn’t even have an extra chair in his home, but he was so impressed with the young man that he asked his grandson to prepare a cup of sweet tea for R’ Yechezkel. But the Alter didn’t even have sugar in his house, so he sent his grandson to the store to purchase one cube of sugar for R’ Yechezkel’s tea.

R’ Yaakov Galinsky was once with the Steipler Gaon when one of the Steipler’s young grandchildren walked in with a candy and asked his holy grandfather whether the candy had a hechsher. The Steipler smiled, bemoaning his generation’s acceptance of material excess as a given. “See? They no longer ask whether it is fitting and proper to eat a candy. They ask only if it is kosher.”

The rejection of material excess is a particularly compelling aspect of Pesach.

When Pharaoh received the troubling news that a savior for the Jewish people was born, he commanded that all newborn boys be thrown into the Nile River. This was no coincidence, according to R’ Menachem Mendel Schneerson, the Lubavitcher Rebbe. Nor did Pharaoh lack other, more conventional means for killing Jews. The Nile River was chosen for a reason.

Rainfall in Egypt is a scarcity; Egypt thrived only because of the

fertile Nile River, which became synonymous with Egyptian excess and materialism. Pharaoh knew the secret to Jewish continuity was the detachment from excess and luxury, and he meant to snuff out that spiritual life by drowning the Jews – literally and metaphorically – in the Nile River and the material excesses it came to represent.

It is perhaps no coincidence that in their triumphant departure from Egypt, the Jewish people still clung to their “bread of affliction” despite also carrying out “abundant possession” courtesy of the Egyptians. It is the nature of a repressed and newly-freed person to indulge, perhaps even overindulge, in material comforts and luxuries. Not so with the Jewish people. They made a point of continuing to subsist on the “bread of affliction” (made of just flour and water; no additives [Pesachim 36a]) to demonstrate a rejection of materialism and a contentedness with less (Ksav Sofer, Devarim 16:3).

And we reaffirm that notion every year on Pesach: “Do not eat on it leavened bread; seven days you shall eat unleavened bread, the bread of affliction...in order to remember the day you left Egypt all the days of your life” (Devarim 16:3). We eat the “bread of affliction” (made with just flour and water; no additives) just as we rejected excess and materialism on “the day [we] left Egypt,” so too we are to do so now (Ksav Sofer, Devarim 16:3).

But we seem to be drowning in our own present-day Nile River of material excess.

Our weddings are more profligate than ever (and they are held for more people than should ever be at a wedding). Our food demands and preferences are more extravagant and exacting than ever. We build and buy opulent homes, better suited for museum displays than for actual living. We dress our children in monarchical clothing that can only produce conceitedness. And perhaps the spiritual highlight of the year – our Seder nights – have been reduced to the material grandeur (but spiritual emptiness) of “programs” in far-flung locales.

And it’s not just that we indulge in these rank (over)materialistic

pursuits; that could be justified, if not condoned. We actually glorify them. Just flip through the glossy weekly “kosher” magazines, which sandwich moving accounts of the asceticism of our saintly leaders between cutting-edge advertisements for every material excess not expressly forbidden by Torah law: dinosaur-sized cuts of meat, uberhigh-end kitchens, appliances, and furniture; haute couture for ourselves and gaudy clothing for our children; multi-million dollar apartments in Israel (marketed as second homes, mind you). We are drowning in materialism, and we seem giddy about it.

Don’t get me wrong: one may and should enjoy the material good this world has to offer. But it cannot become an obsession (and it has).

Perhaps the current predicament will have a halo effect and force us – wittingly or otherwise – to regain control of our lives.

There are no lavish weddings now – just the genuine joy of a bride

and groom and their close loved ones celebrating with real joy, not in an opulent hotel or hall but on streets and in parking lots. There is no (or less) obsession with the fanciest cuts of meat and showy haute couture that has suffocated Shabbos and Yom Tov in recent years – just the gratitude that we have plentiful food and clean respectable clothing and the ability to breathe freely.

There are no Pesach “programs” in far-flung locales now – just the warmth of our own homes and our own families to connect us to generations past.

It’s almost as if the world is returning to the way it used to be.

So we wonder. Is this what it’s like to do without? Maybe.

But maybe this is closer to the way it ought to be.

Eytan Kobre is a writer, speaker, and attorney living in Kew Gardens Hills.

Questions? Comments? Suggestions?

E-mail eakobre@outlook.com.

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Jewish Thought

The Story We Tell

By Rabbi Jonathan Sacks

I

t remains one of the most counterintuitive passages in all of religious literature. Moshe is addressing the Jews just days before their release. They have been exiled for 210 years. After an initial period of affluence and ease, they have been oppressed, enslaved, and their male children killed in an act of slow genocide. Now, after signs and wonders and a series of plagues that have brought the greatest empire of the ancient world to its knees, they are about to go free.

Yet Moshe does not talk about freedom, or the land flowing with milk and honey, or the journey they will have to undertake through the desert. Instead, three times, he turns to the distant future, when the journey is complete and the people – free at last – are in their own land.

And what he talks about is not the land itself, or the society they will have to build or even the demands and responsibilities of freedom.

Instead, he talks about education, specifically about the duty of parents to their children. He speaks about the questions children may ask when the epic events that are about to happen are, at best, a distant memory. He tells the Israelites to do what Jews have done from then to now. Tell your children the story. Do it in the maximally effective way. Re-enact the drama of exile and exodus, slavery and freedom.

Get your children to ask questions.

Make sure that you tell the story as your own, not as some dry account of history. Say that the way you live and the ceremonies you observe are “because of what G-d did for me” – not my ancestors but me. Make it vivid, make it personal, and make it live.

He says this not once but three times: “It shall be that when you come to the land which G-d will give you as He said, and you observe this ceremony, and your children say to you, ‘What does this service mean to you?’ you shall say, ‘It is a Passover sacrifice to the L-rd, who passed over the houses of the Israelites in Egypt when He struck the Egyptians and spared our homes.’” (Ex. 12:2527).

“On that day you shall tell your child, ‘It is because of what the L-rd did for me when I came out of Egypt’” (Ex. 13:8).

“In the future, when your child asks you, ‘What is this?’ you shall tell him, ‘With a mighty hand, the L-rd brought us out from Egypt, from the land of slavery.’” (Ex. 13:14).

Why was this the most important thing he could do in this intense moment of redemption? Because freedom is the work of a nation, nations need identity, identity needs memory, and memory is encoded in

the stories we tell. Without narrative, there is no memory, and without memory, we have no identity.

The most powerful link between the generations is the tale of those who came before us – a tale that becomes ours and that we hand on as a sacred heritage to those who will come after us. We are the story we tell ourselves about ourselves, and identity begins in the story parents tell their children.

That narrative provides the answer to the three fundamental questions every reflective individual must ask at some stage in their lives: Who am I? Why am I here? How then shall I live? There are many answers to these questions, but the Jewish ones are: I am a member of the people whom G-d rescued from slavery to freedom. I am here to build a society that honors the freedom of others, not just my own. And I must live in conscious knowledge that freedom is the gift of G-d, honored by keeping His covenant of law and love.

Twice in the history of the West this fact was forgotten, or ignored, or rebelled against. In the 17th and 18th century, there was a determined effort to create a world without identities. This was the project called the Enlightenment. It was a noble dream. To it we owe many developments whose value is beyond

question and that we must strive to preserve. However, one aspect of it failed and was bound to fail: the attempt to live without identity.

The argument went like this.

Identity throughout the Middle Ages was based on religion. But religion had for centuries led to war between Christians and Muslims.

Then, following the Reformation, it led to war between Christian and Christian, Protestant and Catholic.

Therefore, to abolish war one had to move beyond identity. Identities are particular. Therefore, let us worship only the things that are universal: reason and observation, philosophy and science. Let us have systems, not stories. Then we will become one humanity, like the world before Babel. As Schiller put it and Beethoven set to music in the last movement of the Ninth Symphony: Alle Menschen werden Brüder, “All men will be brothers.”

It cannot be done, at least as humanity is presently constituted. The reaction, when it came, was fierce and disastrous. The nineteenth century saw the return of the repressed.

Identity came back with a vengeance, this time based not on religion but on one of three substitutes for it: the nation state, the (Aryan) race, and the (working) class. In the 20th century, the nation state led to two World Wars. Race led to the Holocaust. The class struggle led to

Stalin, the Gulag and the KGB. A hundred million people were killed in the name of three false gods.

For the past fifty years the West has been embarked on a second attempt to abolish identity, this time in the opposite direction. What the secular West now worships is not the universal but the individual: the self, the “Me,” the “I.” Morality – the thick code of shared values binding society together for the sake of the common good – has been dissolved into the right of each individual to do or be anything he or she chooses, so long as they do not directly harm others.

Identities have become mere masks we wear temporarily and without commitment. For large sections of society, marriage is an anachronism, parenthood delayed or declined, and community a faceless crowd. We still have stories, from Harry Potter to Lord of the Rings to Star Wars, but they are films, fictions, fantasies – a mode

not of engagement but of escapism.

Such a world is supremely tolerant, until it meets views not to its liking, when it quickly becomes brutishly intolerant and eventually degenerates into the politics of the mob. This is populism, the prelude to tyranny.

Today’s hyper-individualism will not last. We are social animals.

We cannot live without identities, families, communities, and collective responsibility. Which means we cannot live without the stories that connect us to a past, a future

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and a larger group whose history and destiny we share. The biblical insight still stands. To create and sustain a free society, you have to teach your children the story of how we achieved freedom and what its absence tastes like: the unleavened

Without narrative, there is no memory, and without memory, we have no identity.

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bread of affliction and the bitter herbs of slavery. Lose the story and eventually you lose your freedom.

That is what happens when you forget who you are and why.

The greatest gift we can give our children is not money or posses-

sions but a story – a real story, not a fantasy – one that connects them to us and to a rich heritage of high ideals. We are not particles of dust blown this way or that by the passing winds of fad and fashion. We are heirs to a story that inspired a hundred generations of our ancestors and eventually transformed the Western world.

What you forget, you lose.

The West is forgetting its story.

We must never forget ours.

With the hindsight of thirty-three centuries we can see how right Moshe was. A story told across the generations is the gift of an identity, and when you know who you are and why, you can navigate the wilderness of time with courage and confidence. That is a life-changing idea.

To read more from Rabbi Sacks, please visit www.rabbisacks.org and follow @ RabbiSacks on social media.

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Think, Feel, Grow

Passover Passing Over Time

By Shmuel Reichman

Y

ou can learn a lot about a person based on how they use their time. When we get home from school or work, how do we view our free time? Do we ask ourselves how we can waste the night away, how to most easily and enjoyably make it to tomorrow morning? Or do we take full advantage of every moment, aiming to gain as much as possible from each and every day? When the alarm goes off in the morning, do we jump out of bed like a lion, ready to conquer the day, or do we hit snooze again, again, and again?

As human beings, we find ourselves stuck within time. How do we use our time?

While events and decisions occur within time, there is an aspect of reality that transcends time. The Vilna Gaon explains, fascinatingly, that while events occur within time, ideas transcend this construct. Ideas don’t “happen”; they simply are. They exist beyond the process of time. When thinking about and relating to ideas, we step outside the present moment and connect to something outside the movement of the clock, beyond the passing of time.

With this in mind, let us explore a fascinating idea related to time and its essential connection to Pesach.

Timely Exodus Time is a predominant theme of Pesach but expresses itself in a unique and somewhat puzzling manner.

On Pesach, we are commanded to eat matzah (unleavened bread) and are absolutely forbidden to eat chametz

(leavened bread). This is an incredibly strict prohibition, as the punishment for eating chametz is kares (spiritual excision). This seems extreme, as the difference between matzah and chametz can come down to a matter of seconds. This means that a single second can determine a person’s spiritual reality, dictating whether one performed a mitzvah or violated the most severe of prohibitions. Why is time so central to Pesach, and how can a second of time have such significant implications?

Let us trace this theme of time through the story of yetzias Mitzrayim, the exodus from Egypt. The Torah commands us to eat matzah on Pesach because the Jewish people left Mitzrayim bi’chipazon, in great haste (Devarim 16:3). The Jewish people were forced to eat matzah because they did not have enough time to make bread. Although this is the most well-known reference to time in the Pesach story, there is another.

The Arizal (famous 16th century kabbalist) makes an intriguing statement about time and its significance in the Pesach story. He states that had the Jewish People remained in Egypt for even one more second at the point of the Exodus, they would have reached the fiftieth level of tumah, a point of no return. Chazal explain that the Jewish people in Mitzrayim were on the forty-ninth level of tumah, the very lowest level of spiritual impurity. Had we sunk even one level lower, we would have been lost completely, beyond the point of rescue. The Arizal emphasizes that it was necessary for us to leave with such

speed in order to save us from falling to this lowest level. The speed with which we left Egypt was of fundamental importance.

The Arizal says that had the Exodus been delayed for even one more second, we would have been completely lost within the depths of impurity. However, the moment of the exodus seems to be the farthest thing from a spiritually dangerous moment. In fact, it appears to be the moment at which Klal Yisrael was at an ultimate spiritual high, far from spiritual harm.

The Jewish People had just witnessed Hashem unleash His wrath on the Egyptians through the performance of the Ten Plagues, a systematic process of openly revealing Hashem to the world. On the night of the Exodus, Hashem performed makkas bechoros (the Plague of the Firstborn), devastating Egypt and causing even Pharaoh to react in alarm. Makkas bechoros was unique in that Hashem Himself performed this makkah (see Rashi). The Ramban explains that all the principles of hashgacha pratis (Divine providence) were displayed through these events. We were clearly then on an immensely high spiritual level.

On this same night, the Jewish People brought the Korban Pesach and painted their doorposts with blood, instilling within their hearts the knowledge that Hashem watches over and protects us. This night contained some of the loftiest moments imaginable – one would expect the Jewish People to be on an equally lofty level. This was the very birth and creation of Klal Yis-

rael, the root of their journey to Har Sinai to accept the Torah. How, then, could one more moment in this intensely holy atmosphere possibly have caused the destruction of the Jewish People?

If the Arizal’s statement was not already difficult enough, he takes it one step further. The Arizal says that not only would going out one second later have placed us beyond hope, but even if we had gone out just the slightest bit slower it would have been too late. Not only did we have to leave right away, but the pace itself had to be quick. Not only when we left, but how we left was important. What is the meaning of all this?

Perspectives on the Physical These questions come down to the concept of time. In order to understand time, we must take a step back and look at the nature of physicality in general.

Time is a dimension of physicality and, in some ways, is even emblematic of the physical. Therefore, our approach to physicality will illuminate our understanding of time.

Most spiritual schools of thought view the physical world as lowly and dangerous; it should therefore be avoided to whatever extent possible. In order to live a spiritual life, one must simply escape the physical. Spiritual systems such as Buddhism prescribe meditation, abstinence, and transcendence of any hint of physical desire. In such a system, the ideal is to sit isolated on a mountaintop and meditate on your navel.

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Historically, this was the spiritual system of Shem and Ever. They understood the dangers of the physical world – they witnessed the evil and destruction of both the Dor Ha’Mabul and Dor Haflagah and decided that in order to maintain their spirituality, they must remove themselves from this physical and lowly world.

Avraham, however, introduced a novel, idealistic approach to life. He understood that while the physical can be dangerous if misused, the ideal is not to transcend the physical but to use the physical to reflect something higher. In other words, he understood the ideal Jewish spiritual system.

How many mitzvos are commandments of the mind? Almost none! You can count them on your hands: believe in Hashem, love Hashem, be in awe of Hashem, don’t be jealous, and just a few others. The overwhelming majority of mitzvos are physical actions which connect you to the spiritual source, Hashem. The act is physical, with spirituality and mindfulness infused within that physical act. We eat matzah, shake a lulav, blow shofar, and wear tefillin – all actions, all physical.

We don’t believe in transcending the physical; we believe in using the physical to connect to the transcendent.

While the ideal is for the physical to be utilized and elevated, there is an important qualification. When the physical is channeled properly, it is the highest of spiritual accomplishments, but when misused, it has infinitely negative reverberations. We must therefore maintain control and focus while using the physical. Our root must be transcendent, fully connected to the spiritual, and only then, while maintaining that foundation, can we come down and use the physical. This is why the first stage in the process must be transcendence, only afterwards coming down to use the physical. First, we have Yom Kippur, where we transcend as malachim, and only then do we have Sukkos, in which we come back down and embrace the physical aspect of life. We start with the first night of Pesach, a night of transcendence, and then we descend into the physical world, where we build (count) our way to Matan Torah. Without rooting ourselves in the transcendent, we risk getting stuck within the physical.

Harnessing Time Applying these concepts to time, we can understand the importance of using time, controlling it, rather than allowing it to enslave us.

We have two options: we can either let time pass us over and be pushed through life by time or we can pass over time and transcend its limitations.

The key is to use time, not to be used by time. We need to learn how to ride the waves of time, harnessing the dormant potential within each moment. When we are passive in life, everything moves slowly – time becomes quicksand. A life without goals, without a schedule, where moments of life don’t mean anything is a life stuck within the trappings of time. Such a person can kill time, can waste an evening just to get to tomorrow. One who values time,

our mitzvos, to become stuck within the trappings of time.

The Formation of a Nation We can now begin to answer our original questions. Pesach night was the inception of Klal Yisrael as a nation.

As the Maharal explains, the Korban Pesach represents the idea of becoming one as a nation. We used a one year old calf; it had to be eaten in one house; as a single chabura (group); it was roasted, as opposed to cooked, because roasting melts the meat together into one piece as opposed to cooking which makes the meat fall apart; it was roasted whole – not as cut up pieces; and its bones could not be broken. All of these details of oneness reflected the oneness that was being created on that night.

Klal Yisrael was becoming a single

Had we moved one second slower, or a moment too late, our very root would have been stuck within the trappings of time.

who rides time, views time like money.

Time is currency and you choose how to spend it. Every day we get 86,400 seconds and how you use your allotted time determines what kind of life you live.

This is the theme of matzah. Chazal (in the Mechiltah) state, “Mitzvah habah l’yadchah, al tachmitzenah, when a mitzvah comes to your hand, don’t let it spoil,” or more accurately, don’t allow it to become chametz.

Chametz is the result of adding time to the baking process of bread. As the Maharal explains, this statement of Chazal is telling us not to allow any extra time to get added to our mitzvos either, otherwise, the mitzvah becomes stuck in time. Fascinatingly, the word mitzvah has the same shoresh (root) as matzah, and the word tachmitzenah has the same shoresh as chametz. Just as on Pesach we must not allow our food, our matzah, to get stuck within the trappings of time, so too, we cannot allow our spiritual commandments,

nation, one with Hashem.

Every process contains multiple stages. The first is the spark of creation, which is followed by a slow process of expressing that seed, and then finally, the finished product. Take, for example, the growth of a tree. First, there is the seed, which goes through a slow growth process as that seed is expressed, and finally there is the tree itself. A human being goes through this same process as well. Every person begins as a zygote, a single cell, which grows and develops into the end result – a fully formed human being.

In every process of creation, the root, the seed, is the most potent and important phase. This formative stage is the most delicate. Any error or imperfection present at this stage will have cataclysmic results. For example, if a boy cuts his finger at the age of seven, it’s not that bad. However, if there is even a minor glitch in the DNA of a zygote, even a single chromosome missing, everything can go wrong. The

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results can be catastrophic.

Therefore, when forming the root and seed of Klal Yisrael, it was imperative for us to be perfect, transcending all the limitations of time and space. We needed to move b’zerizus. Our food needed to transcend the limitations of time and space, and so did our very movement itself. This is the secret of matzah and this is the secret to understanding the Arizal’s cryptic statement.

Had we moved one second slower, or a moment too late, our very root would have been stuck within the trappings of time. Our “zygote” had to be constructed within the dimension of zerizus, beyond the constrictions of time and space. We were creating our DNA; everything had to be perfect. Once we were rooted beyond time and space, we could receive Hashem’s Torah, something also rooted beyond time and space. Only once we are rooted beyond time and space can we then come back down and use time and space to reflect something higher.

It’s therefore no coincidence that Klal Yisrael performed the mitzvah of bris milah before leaving Mitzrayim. This is the mitzvah of the eighth, the ultimate paradigm of connecting the physical to the spiritual. As the Maharal explains, Torah is also the “eighth,” which is why we received it on the fiftieth day after leaving Mitzrayim, the eighth week.

This brings us full circle to the beginning of this article. Torah and ideas exist beyond the dimension of time.

May we be inspired to fully harness the potential of our time, to use time and not be used by time, and to enter Pesach and the mitzvah of matzah with the mindset of connecting to ourselves, to all of Klal Yisrael, and to Hashem Himself.

Shmuel Reichman is an inspirational speaker, writer, and coach who has lectured internationally at shuls, conferences, and Jewish communities on topics of Jewish thought and Jewish medical ethics. He is the founder and CEO of Self-Mastery Academy (ShmuelReichman.com), the transformative online course that is revolutionizing how we engage in self-development.

You can find more inspirational lectures, videos, and articles from Shmuel on his website, ShmuelReichman.com.

The Jewish Home | APRIL 3, 2020

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Israel Today

My Memories of Mystical Tzfat

By Ahron Rosenthal

The view from my porch in 2000

T

his past October, my family and I spent a beautiful Sukkos in Israel. With so much to do in the limited time that we had, I made sure to put the holy city of Tzfat in Northern Israel on our must-see list.

I looked forward to playing the role of tour guide for the family as we visited the ancient and mystical city of Tzfat, the place I had called home for a brief period of time, 20 years earlier.

Winding through the mountains on our way up to this picturesque and enchanted city (after getting completely lost on the way), I was overcome by many fond memories and feelings of nostalgia. I took in the familiar sites and landmarks, but as we entered into the Old City, I was surprised to see hundreds of people shopping and dining at numerous new stores and restaurants scattered throughout. In my mind, Tzfat was still a quiet and ancient city with just a few stores, cafes, and falafel stands.

I recalled taking the bus to Haifa and Yokneam to find a decent mall where I could buy shoes and clothing. It seemed a lot had changed in 20 years.

As we navigated the steps and hills of Tzfat (with a double stroller that we should never have brought), I tried to bring my family into my memories of this holy city.

A Taste of the Mystical It was late August of 2000. I had just registered for fall semester at college when I had a change of heart and decided to return to Israel for a couple of months before beginning college. At a chance encounter three months earlier, while touring Tzfat with some friends, I bumped into an

old friend who happened to be studying there in Yeshiva Shalom Rav. He described the palpable spirituality of living and studying in this remote, enchanted city with its beautifully crisscrossing cobblestone alleyways. I was intrigued. Although I had read about Tzfat and visited it a number of times over the years, my friend’s description of this inner reality of Tzfat, of his experiences living and attending yeshiva there, sounded spectacular. But I had no plans of being there any time soon, and our conversation nestled itself somewhere in the back of mind.

Fast-forward four months later.

After visiting the college admittance office to register for fall classes, images of those mystical alleyways and rolling mountains covered in a hazy fog began to form in mind. Something was beckoning me to Tzfat. As a young and free spirit, I was up for the challenge. Within a week I had booked a ticket to Israel for the beginning of September. I would arrive at Ben Gurion Airport a few days before Rosh Hashana.

That day, I exited the airport, headed to the taxi stand, and asked the manager for a taxi to Tzfat. He chuckled and said, “Seriously?” Anxiety started to creep into my mind. I wondered if I really was serious about this journey. The driver and I sat in total silence during the three-hour taxi ride; I thought through the possibilities of the journey I was embarking on. It was 5 p.m. in the afternoon by the time we arrived in Tzfat. As I entered the yeshiva with my bags, I was greeted by a member of the staff, Aharon, who was about to leave the yeshiva for his home.

Aside from Aharon, the yeshiva was empty: no other staff, no students, just a serene and completely quiet ancient synagogue that housed the yeshiva. I took it all in, reminding myself that this was all part of the journey, although it definitely seemed to be playing out differently than I had envisioned.

Aharon walked me up to the highest point of Tzfat, the Metsudah, an old fortress and lookout where you can see all the way to the Kinneret on a clear day. At the Metsudah, I was introduced to two students from the yeshiva who generously invited me to join in their barbecue. I was exhausted from the trip and still had not unpacked or showered since my arrival to Israel, and so when Baruch, a half-Israel, half-American, offered to walk me back to the yeshiva, I did not hesitate to take him up on the offer.

On our way to the yeshiva, we stopped at a falafel store on Rechov Yerushalayim, otherwise known as the Midrachov. There, Rafi, the owner, welcomed me to Tzfat with his warm and friendly demeanor. I sensed that with his confident personality he might just very well be the unofficial mayor of the city. I did not know it then, but later, I would live across the street from this falafel store and Rafi would become a great friend to me.

It was close to 7:00 in the evening when we left the falafel store. I would quickly learn that most of the commercial life of Tzfat shuts down by early evening, giving way to the stray cats and lost souls of Tzfat. Baruch told me that there were about five students currently in the yeshiva, two of whom were returning from abroad in

the coming days. “Hmm...,” I thought to myself. I had imagined a bustling yeshiva of spiritual seekers engaging in deep philosophical arguments. The yeshiva I would be staying at, which doubled as the Chernobyl Kloiz, a Hasidic Shtiebel, was established by followers of R’ Aharon of Chernobyl in the mid-1800s. Hanging on the wall opposite the Aron Kodesh was a framed letter from the Chernobyl Rebbe written to his followers who had settled in Tzfat. (On my recent trip in October, I inquired about this letter when we stopped at the Shtiebel.

I received a curious look and was told that it was long ago taken down and put away for safekeeping.)

The Wanderers of Tzfat That first night in the yeshiva dorm, I had difficulty sleeping and decided to venture out to the shul. I was somewhat surprised to find the doors open and all the lights of the yeshiva on. In those days, the doors of the Chernobyl Shul remained open 24 hours a day. I can still clearly see the massive urn of hot water with tens of tea bags hanging from a hook, with hot cups scattered about for visitors (and lost souls) who would stop in at all hours of the day.

It’s hard to define the wanderers of Tzfat: some were self-described mystics; others were hiding from their troubles at home; some were absolutely hidden tzaddikim; still others, perhaps myself included, were just curious souls, enjoying the tranquil and introspective air of this mystical city. And so, on my first night in Tzfat, I awoke to find two of these lost souls, fascinating individuals, whom

The Jewish Home | APRIL29, 3, 2020 The Home || OCTOBER 2015 The Jewish Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015

With Rav Rafael Weingot in 2019

I would get to know very closely in the coming months, excitedly engrossed in a Kabbalistic holy book. As I stood at the doorway watching them, they turned towards me and invited me to join them. Tzfat was quickly beginning to take shape that night into the mystical and intriguing city that I had imagined.

The following day I met the Rosh Yeshiva, Rabbi Rafael Weingot, a dynamic, warm and personable individual who had moved to Tzfat 25 years earlier immediately after his marriage to his wife Tova. Rabbi Weingot addressed my unspoken feelings, telling me, “Until you spend a Shabbos in Tzfat, you haven’t truly been here.”

His words would prove true.

During my first Shabbos in Tzfat, I finally met so many of the students, families, residents and, of course, the eclectic personalities, who called Tzfat home. There were hippies, vegans, converts, Breslov baalei teshuva donning jeans and tattoos from their prior lives, “ordinary” chassidim, Sefardim dressed completely in white, beggars, Europeans, Americans, and just about any other type of person you could possibly imagine. I began to wonder if I was even unique enough to join the ranks of this truly diverse and multicultural community.

Friday night, I joined the Weingot family in their beautiful home, which had once been an actual cave. I felt like I was going back in time to the Tzfat of 400 years ago. Rabbi Weingot described his home as an “Ir Miklat,”

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The Chernobyl Kloiz

a refuge center, for the many who surrounded his giant dining room table each week. After the meal, I joined the locals on their weekly Shabbos walk up and down the Midrachov and ambled through the Tzfat alleyways, noting the mystical blue color on virtually every doorway and home.

For davening, I joined the Abuhav

along with the heartbeat and nuances of Tzfat, would become as familiar to me as my own.

After a few weeks in the dorm, I was standing outside the yeshiva telling a friend that I was considering trying to find a local apartment to live in. Suddenly, a woman nearby approached me, having heard our

One day, a middle-aged fellow showed up in the yeshiva and stood with his hands pointed upwards for hours. He neither moved, nor talked, just stood frozen in that position for hours.

Shul, which, as legend had it, had one night been (miraculously) uprooted from Spain and transplanted to Tzfat.

The shul possessed a number of sifrei Torah that were hundreds of years old. Rising high above the congregation, the chazzan ascended a platform from which he led the prayers, ancient songs that the entire congregation sang together. The shul that night was filled with foreign faces, but over the 12 months that I would ultimately spend in Tzfat, those same faces,

conversation, and informed me that she, in fact, had an apartment for rent nearby. The apartment had one of the highest porches in Tzfat with an unobstructed view of the Old City and the rolling mountains extending across Mount Meron. Aside from sharing a bathroom with another apartment and an insurance company, it was a dream apartment, all for $350 a month! The couple that owned it were life-long Tzfat residents who spent the year in France and returned for

the summers. Their apartment overflowed with Kabbalistic books and pictures of former Tzfat Kabbalists, one of whom was the grandfather of the owner. On my second day in the apartment, I pulled down a large ancient Kabbalistic book off the shelf, and to my surprise, hundreds of shekels fell out from between the pages.

When I called the owners to inform them of my find, the wife showered me with blessings and Kabbalistic references, telling me that now she knew that I was the right tenant as ordained

by G-d!

There were so many fascinating people that I got to know during my year in Tzfat. Yitzchak, a former “Deadhead,” would walk the streets in his overalls and cane, surrounded by a pack of dogs. Chaim, a former member of the Israeli air force, had once saved a fellow soldier’s life after a mishap in which his comrade had caught on fire while landing a fighter jet. There was a black-belt karate champion who claimed to have inspired the Karate Kid movies. One day, a middle-aged fellow showed up in the yeshiva and stood with his hands pointed upwards for hours. He neither moved, nor talked, just stood frozen in that position for hours with a partial smile and his eyes wide open.

And then, just as fast as he arrived, he disappeared.

Then there were the hidden tzaddikim. Rav Moshe would arrive in the yeshiva late at night, clear a table and cut up his vegetables and sardines, a

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OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home APRIL 3, 2020 | The Jewish Home

Ancient cobblestone alleyways of Tzfat

Bumping into Avraham on the Midrachov on our recent trip

project that would last into the wee hours of the night. All the while, he would sit at the table smiling, alternating between sleeping, davening, blessing people, offering unsolicited advice and writing elaborate inscriptions into siddurim that he would later donate to shuls in Tzfat. Only after he

died did we learn about how eerily accurate his blessings and insights were.

Avraham was another former American who became a good friend.

A former jazz guitarist who discovered Judaism later in life, he used his expert craftsmanship and carpentry skills to singlehandedly restore the

Makarov Shul (the current site of Shalom Rav) from a cave of rubble to the beautiful site it is today.

And then there were the “regular” people like Yehuda, Yanky and Yoselle, who were all fellow New Yorkers and had similar backgrounds as mine. We enjoyed each other’s company, laughing and marveling about how we all ended up in a place like Tzfat.

Leaving a Part of Me

Lawrence Hardware 589 Burnside Ave. Inwood, NY 11096 (516) 371-2900 In the Burnside Plaza (Stop and Shop Center)

My plan of living in Tzfat for a few months had turned into a year, and it was hard to leave. I knew that, once I left, I would no longer be an insider.

No longer would I hear the heartbeat

Visiting my old apartment on the Midrachov

connected to this special city forever.

This past October, as I returned to visit Tzfat 20 years later with my family, it was time to wrap up a long and physically draining day of touring. It was becoming clear to me that my kids were running out of patience hearing me point out every rock and every building that had some personal significance to me from my time living in Tzfat. Seeing those familiar sites was bringing back a wave of fond memories. But there was still one more thing I had to do before we could cram back into our little van and head out.

Walking quickly back to the Cher-

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I began to wonder if I was even unique enough to join the ranks of this truly diverse and multicultural community.

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of the city and be recognized by the souls of Tzfat. And so, before I boarded the bus out of Tzfat for good, I had an idea. I returned to the yeshiva and placed the Gemara I had been using over the last 12 months onto the shelf, seamlessly joining it with the other Gemara volumes. As I left Tzfat, I thought to myself that, in the smallest of ways, I hoped I would remain

nobyl Shtiebel, I entered inside and headed straight to the bookcase. Was my Gemara still there? I began to look through each shelf but I knew it was getting late and that we had to go. I’d have to wait again for another trip to know for sure. Even so, I left that day knowing that my memories and connection to Tzfat will forever remain.

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015 The Jewish Home | APRIL 3, 2020

Chag Sameach!

Wishing my friends and neighbors a happy Passover!

I know that, even as we find ourselves social distancing, we will all still find a way to stay connected and that Seders across the community will be even more meaningful in these uncertain times.

Paid for by Curran for Nassau

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The Wandering

Jew

Avi Osterman*

By Hershel Lieber

A

week before Pesach 1991, a special guest arrived and stayed with us for almost three months. Our guest was only ten years old, and he arrived from Poland. No, he wasn’t Polish; he was actually an Israeli boy with a strange story.

Let me start from the beginning.

In February of that year I went alone to Poland for a week to teach at the Lauder Winter Retreat. Our children were still young, so Pesi stayed home with them. My week was jam-packed with lectures and activities for adults and children which introduced Yiddishkeit to Polish Jews who were largely ignorant of their heritage. On my way home, I spent a day in Warsaw. While I was in the Nozyk Shul talking to some of the local Yidden, I noticed a family consisting of a father, mother, two boys and a little girl.

When I approached them, I realized that they were Israelis. The parents spoke Yiddish, and I asked them if they came as tourists and if their families came from Poland. The father, Menachem, told me that although his background was Polish, the family

Avi during Chol Hamoed Pesach on top of the World Trade Center

came as refugees from Israel.

I had no idea what he was talking about. It didn’t take too long for him to unburden himself to me. In a very angry tone, he told me that he had owned a fruit kiosk in a small Israeli town in the Galil which burned down accidently. He had no insurance and

the government would not give him any compensation for his loss. After seeing that he was not getting anywhere with the government, he resolved to leave Israel and make his way back to Poland; they had just arrived a few hours ago. When I asked him what he planned to do in Poland,

he had no answer but he was so angry at Israel that he vowed that his family would not return. The family was evidently religious since both he and the boys wore yarmulkes. I explained to him that even if he finds work in Poland, this will not compensate for the loss of Jewish education that his children would endure. He said it didn’t matter; he was still adamant that he would not return to Israel.

I walked away from the family and approached Rabbi Pinchas Menachem Joskowicz, who was the chief rabbi of Poland. We spoke about a suggestion of employing both parents at the Menora Kosher Restaurant that just opened near the shul. The rabbi also had an idea of renting a small, run-down apartment which was available nearby for the family. This would alleviate their situation somewhat. The younger son and his little sister would also not miss out too much if they forwent a few months of schooling. Our hope was that in a few months they would realize their mistake and would consider returning to Israel. The only problem that remained was their nine-year-old

*Name changed

The Osterman family, without Avi, in Poland

Chanoch Lubling with Mechel and me in Krakow

Yossi Billig and Rabbi Chaskel Besser at the rededication of the Lublin beis olam

The Jewish Jewish Home Home || APRIL APRIL 2, 3, 2020 2020 The

Avi in the Nozyk shul with Moshe Shapiro

son Avi, who would lose months of a Torah education and would go crazy from so much empty time on his hands.

It was then and there that I approached Menachem and made him

“ani meshamem” which means “I’m bored stiff,” which implied that we all had to cater to him and relieve his boredom. All in all, though, he was a good kid but sometimes gave us a run for the money. We treated him

We knew each other less than an hour and yet he was willing to entrust his son to my care.

an offer. I proposed that he send Avi to New York where he would stay with my family and I would put him into a yeshiva. To my surprise, Menachem readily agreed! We knew each other less than an hour, and yet he was willing to entrust his son to my care.

During the next few weeks Menachem arranged a visa for his son and, with the financial help of Rabbi Joskowicz, bought him an airline ticket to New York. On March 22, a week before Pesach, Avi Osterman arrived at our home.

Having Avi with us for three months had its challenges. In the beginning, there were many times that he cried and was homesick for his family. Although in general he got along with our son Mechel, there were times that they fought. We knew that Mechel, who was only one year younger than Avi, felt that Avi was overshadowing him and that Mechel was not getting our full attention. To some extent, this was true. Avi, as a true Israeli, had lots of self-confidence and had no problem in strongly expressing his opinion. His favorite line was

lovingly as a member of our family, took him on all Chol Hamoed trips, and he joined us for Shavuos at our bungalow colony. On occasion, we sent him to some of my friends for a Shabbos to get to meet other families and break the monotony of being in one place. We also introduced him to a neighbor’s son who was also an Israeli, and they often played together.

After Yom Tov, I made arrangements with Yeshivas Toras Emes, which was only two blocks away from my home, to take him in until the summer. Rabbi Respler, the principal, and all his rabbeim and teachers were impressed with Avi’s level of intelligence and how quickly he picked up his lessons. Avi knew a fair amount of English when he came, which made his participation in the classroom a lot easier. He went to school readily and progressed very well in his studies. He even won a small Shas in a learning contest that his class held.

His success in the yeshiva was very helpful in relieving his anxiety about being away from his parents. Yet, as young as he was, he was concerned

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APRIL 2, 2020 | The Jewish Home APRIL 3, 2020 | The Jewish Home

Avi, Mechel, and I receiving a dollar from the Lubavitcher Rebbe, z”tl

for his parents’ welfare. I remember taking Avi and Mechel to see and get a dollar from the Lubavitcher Rebbe, zt”l. When the Rebbe handed him the dollar, Avi asked for a bracha that his parents should have a good parnassa and be able to return to Israel. I saw the twinkle in the Rebbe’s eyes and his approving smile as he offered Avi that bracha and an extra dollar for his father.

After the school year ended, Avi returned to his parents in Poland. His father was not successful in holding down a job, and his mother could not work full time due to the young children who were at home. Our next hope was that the Osterman family would join the Lauder Summer Retreat and that the parents would work in the camp’s kitchen. I was planning to be there for three weeks out of that six-week program. Pesi did not join me but I took along Mechel. Also joining me for most of time was my dear friend Chanoch Lubling. Without going into detail, Menachem was not able to apply himself in that position, but the family remained at the retreat for the entire period. Mechel and Avi reconnected but they also made separate friends which kept them occupied. Although the summer was relaxing and enjoyable, in the back of my mind, I kept worrying about the coming year. Will the family remain in Poland? Will they find work? Will Avi be coming back with me to New York? Is there any way we can get the whole family to return to Israel?

A week after we arrived, I found out about the rededication of a section of the Lublin cemetery which was taking place in two days. Since there would be many rabbis there, I felt that we should send Menachem and

Avi, left, with Mechel

Avi with Rabbi Respler and rebbeim at Toras Emes

Avi Osterman with me in Bnei Brak in 2012

his family to Lublin where he could plead for help. I asked Chanoch to accompany them and speak on their behalf. At the same time, Yossi Billig, a well-known philanthropist from New York, had arrived in Warsaw. Rabbi Joskowicz mentioned to him that he was leaving to Lublin for the rededication of the beis olam and invited him to join the ceremony. I was not there and did not witness what transpired, but the stage was set and all the actors were in place. The script was written, and the performance began.

Chanoch arrived with the Osterman family as Rabbis Joskowicz and Besser were talking to Yossi Billig.

Yossi Billig then stepped up to the plate, and offered Menachem $10,000 to help him return with his family to Israel and restart their lives. The details of this plan are not important now, but within a few weeks, the family returned to Israel and set up home in Bnei Brak. The children registered in yeshivos, and life was beginning to return to normal. I cannot say that

everything went smoothly – there were many hills and valleys, a lot of ups and downs – but running away from Israel as refugees was not part of this pattern.

While I kept up communications with the Ostermans for a while, I eventually lost the connection. In the beginning, I had heard that Avi was doing fantastically in yeshiva. As the years passed by, I lost all contact and didn’t even know in which yeshiva he was in. On one occasion, I went to Bnei

Brak to try to find Avi without even knowing for sure the name of the yeshiva he was in. I had known that he was in a yeshiva for mitziyonim but was not sure if that was the name of the place. I walked around trying to locate it and was directed to a building that once had the name “Yeshivas Hamitziyonim.” I spoke to a number of people there, but nobody knew Avi. Then an older man directed me to the former rosh yeshiva who happened to be in the building. When I told him who I was looking for, his face lit up and he began reciting a litany of praises about Avi. He also told me that he was married and was learning in a Kollel. Since the time was bein hasedorim, he picked up the phone and called Avi’s home. The phone reunion that we had was very emotional, but I was disappointed not to meet him in person. Meeting him finally took place many years later, when I came to Israel for my grandson’s chasuna in Bnei Brak. At the chasuna I had the opportunity to meet Avi and his lovely wife.

They both heartily thanked me and Pesi for the profound experience that Avi had when he stayed by us. For us, the zechus was a special bracha that Hashem granted us that we cherish to this very day.

Hershel Lieber has been involved in kiruv activities for over 30 years. As a founding member of the Vaad L’Hatzolas Nidchei Yisroel he has traveled with his wife, Pesi, to the Soviet Union during the harsh years of the Communist regimes to advance Yiddishkeit. He has spearheaded a yeshiva in the city of Kishinev that had 12 successful years with many students making Torah their way of life. In Poland, he lectured in the summers at the Ronald S. Lauder Foundation camp for nearly 30 years. He still travels to Warsaw every year – since 1979 – to be the chazzan for Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur for the Jews there. Together with Pesi, he organized and led trips to Europe on behalf of Gateways and Aish Hatorah for college students finding their paths to Jewish identity. His passion for travel has taken them to many interesting places and afforded them unique experiences. Their open home gave them opportunities to meet and develop relationships with a variety of people. Hershel’s column will appear in The Jewish Home on a bi-weekly basis.

The Jewish Home | APRIL 3, 2020

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WHEN THE LUBAVITCHER REBBE

SELF-QUARANTINED FOR THE SEDER

By Rabbi Pini Dunner

O

ne of the issues that has been coming up again and again in the past week during phone calls I have been having with my community, and with others from further afield, is the fact that people will be on their own for the Seder this year, or their Seder will be drastically reduced in numbers, with children or parents elsewhere, all isolated in the midst of the current coronavirus social-distancing self-quarantine situation which is so important to prevent the spread of the disease.

Some people will literally be by themselves, solitary, with no one to do the Seder with at all.

“How can we do Seder by ourselves?” they ask me. “Doesn’t the Pesach Seder need to be done with family and guests?”

I have thought about this a lot, and would like to address everyone’s concerns by sharing an extraordinary conversation with you that I had about eighteen months ago.

I

just happened to be in New York at the time, and a friend of mine messaged me that his daughter had

become engaged. I texted him back that I was around and would be able to attend the engagement party, and that night I drove to Monsey to celebrate the simcha.

While I was at the party, I bumped into a friend of mine, Rabbi YY Jacobson, a well-known inspirational speaker on the East Coast. I knew that Rabbi Jacobson grew up on Montgomery Street in Crown Heights, in the heart of the Chabad community, just a few blocks away from the home of the late Lubavitcher Rebbe.

There is an aspect of the late Lubavitcher Rebbe’s life that I feel is often overlooked, and we got to talking about it.

The Lubavitcher Rebbe was incredibly down-to-earth, and, together with his late wife Rebbetzen Chaya Mushka, the Rebbe led a very simple life. Indeed, as hard as it may be to believe, their life together was very private.

Rabbi Jacobson often tells stories about the Rebbe when he speaks to audiences, so I asked him if he ever focuses on this particular aspect of the Rebbe’s greatness. Namely that the Lubavitcher Rebbe had no airs and graces at all, nor was he interested in

the pomp and ceremony that is often the hallmark of other Hasidic leaders and “courts.”

“For example,” I asked Rabbi Jacobson, “do you ever tell audiences that in their sixty years of marriage, the Rebbe and his wife ate every Shabbos meal together on their own? No guests, no attendants, no public spectacle… just a married couple eating together – bringing the food in, eating, clearing the table, doing the washing up. A man who had literally tens of thousands of people at his beck-and-call! What a powerful lesson!”

Rabbi Jacobson paused for a moment, and then he smiled. “I’ve got one better for you,” he said. “A few weeks ago, I led a workshop for single mothers, and at the end of the session, I took questions from the women and encouraged them to ask any question that was on their mind. One of the ladies put her hand up, and this is what she asked me… it’s a crazy story.”

“A few months ago,” she said, “it was Pesach. The thing is, my ex-husband and I went through a very difficult breakup. After years in court over our kids, we finally settled on a shared

custody arrangement, which means that we alternate Jewish holidays.

This past Pesach it was my turn – my children were coming to me for Seder, and I was so excited. I changed over my home for Pesach and prepared everything beautifully; it was going to be just me and the kids.”

“I was so happy about them being with me that I told everyone: my family, my friends, my neighbors. Then, one hour before yom tov, I got a phone call from my ex – for some reason, the kids were not going to be coming. I almost fainted from shock and heartache. I was also so ashamed. I guess I could have called my parents, or I could have called my neighbors – and gone to them for the Seder. But how could I actually do that? I had told everyone my kids were coming! Truth is, I did not have the energy to even be with anyone. I felt completely and totally numb – dry and lifeless.”

“So I did the Seder by myself. On my own. It was the worst and most bitter Seder I have ever had. I just sat there crying the whole way through.

Weeping. It wasn’t Pesach. It was Tisha B’Av. I did not have to eat marror.

The Jewish | APRIL29, 3, 2020 The Jewish HomeHome | OCTOBER 2015

I – my entire life! – was marror. Yes, I went through the Haggadah and ate the matzah but the entire Seder took me 25 minutes.”

“Rabbi Jacobson, did I do the right thing? Did I fulfil my Seder obligation?

Was it even called a Seder? Because it did not feel like a proper Pesach.”

Rabbi Jacobson told me – and believe me, as a public speaker, I know exactly what he means – sometimes your most inspirational moments in a speech are not prepared. They are a gift from G-d. You can prepare for hours. And then inspiration drops into your lap. Right then and there, Rabbi YY Jacobson had such a moment.

“Lady,” he said, “in 1988 the Lubavitcher Rebbe’s wife died, and he was left on his own, as they sadly had no children. She passed away in February, and two months later was Pesach. Every year, the Rebbe and his Rebbetzen had Seder together, but this year he was on his own, totally by himself. Who would the Rebbe conduct the Passover Seder with?”

“I recall that a young boy, Ari Halberstam -- who was later tragically gunned down on Brooklyn Bridge, in 1994 –approached the Rebbe after Maariv on the first night of Pesach and, on behalf of his mother, invited the Rebbe to his home for Seder. Ari’s family lived at 706 Eastern Parkway, just one block away from 770. The Rebbe smiled at Ari, and shook his head.

He thanked him profusely, but told Ari he would be having the Seder in his private office in 770.”

“I was a yeshiva student at the time,” continued Rabbi Jacobson, “so I am a firsthand witness to this story.

In fact, the Rebbe’s longstanding assistant Rabbi Leibel Groner offered to stay with the Rebbe, but the Rebbe sent him home to have Seder with his wife and children.”

“And so, the great Lubavitcher Rebbe – the man who inspired countless people around the world for their Seders, who personally undertook to provide a meaningful Pesach Seder for Israeli Army personnel who were on duty on the first night of Pesach via his shluchim in Eretz Yisrael – had the Seder on his own. Not one other person was present. As the Talmud says: if you are on your own, you ask yourself the ‘Ma Nishtana’ questions, and then you answer them to yourself.”

“A few of us yeshiva boys did not go home that night; we waited outside in the street – and after a couple of hours, the Rebbe opened the door to welcome Eliyahu Hanavi and recite Shefoch Chamascha. He walked outside holding a candle and

O

ver the past couple of weeks, as the coronavirus crisis has unfolded across the world, and the reality of our isolated situations has become ever more evident – this incredible and very moving story about the Lubavitcher Rebbe has been

“He walked outside holding a candle and his Haggadah, said the prayer, gave us a wave, and then went back inside to finish the Seder — by himself.”

his Haggadah, said the prayer, gave us a wave, and then went back inside to finish the Seder – by himself.”

“My dear lady,” said Rabbi Jacobson, “if it was good enough for the Lubavitcher Rebbe to have the Seder on his own, trust me, your Seder was perfect!”

“He could have had his Seder with 100 people, 1,000 people, or 10,000 people. He personally arranged for all the army Seders in Israel to be sponsored. He was responsible for hundreds of thousands of people celebrating Pesach on Seder night, from Kathmandu to Alaska, from San Francisco to New Zealand. But at the end of the day, he went and did the Seder on his own. He didn’t need anyone else to be close to G-d. He didn’t need adulation. He didn’t need validation. He sat alone and relived the Exodus from Egypt.”

“I was only 15 at the time,” concluded Rabbi Jacobson, “but despite my youth, I felt sad that the Rebbe had nobody to be with for the Seder.

Why did he not invite even one person to be with him? But today, after hearing your story, I may have discovered the answer—and it is just a personal feeling. As a true Jewish leader, the Rebbe wished to empower all those souls who would ever need to do their Seder alone. He wanted them to know that their solitary Passover Seder was powerful, meaningful, and real. Jewish history and the Divine presence would dwell at their Seder just as it does at a Seder that has many people there.”

at the forefront of my mind.

This year, so many people – probably more people than at any other time in Jewish history – will be having the Seder on their own or without their families. All of our Seders will be

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diminished, and anxiety will be hovering in the air. And all of us will be thinking to ourselves: is this really a proper Seder?

I think Rabbi Jacobson’s story about the Lubavitcher Rebbe in 1988 answers that question, and it eases any doubts we may have about our impending “depleted” experience. After all, “if it was good enough for the Lubavitcher Rebbe to have the Seder on his own, trust me, your Seder is going to be just perfect!”

Rabbi Pini Dunner is the senior rabbi of Beverly Hills Synagogue in California.

With many thanks to Rabbi YY Jacobson, who was kind enough to check through a draft of this article to ensure accuracy; wishing a refuah sheleima to Rabbi Leibel Groner, and also to Ari Halberstam’s sister who needs a refuah from the coronavirus – may Ari’s concern for the Rebbe that Pesach in 1988 be a zechus for her speedy recovery (Chanie Apfelbaum aka Busy In Brooklyn).

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APRIL 3, 2020 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

I Master Storyteller

Rabbi Yitzy E rps on the Art of

Storytelling

By Malky Lowinger

f you grew up on the classic children’s CD called “Yanky at the Pesach Seder With Zeyde,” then chances are you are already a huge fan of the multi-talented master storyteller Rabbi Yitzy Erps.

Rabbi Erps has enchanted and entertained three generations of Jewish children with his incredible voices, his simple yet clever stories, his meaningful lessons, and his humorous characters. Brilliant yet unpretentious, educational yet entertaining, his work is in a class of its own.

Unfortunately, lots of kids will not have the opportunity to join Zeyde at the Pesach Seder this year, which makes this production more relevant than ever. So it may be a good idea to dust off an old copy and play it for your children just for fun.

I

ntrigued by the Yanky story and

by Rabbi Erps’ unique talents, we spoke to him about his career and garnered some good advice about how to be a spellbinding storyteller. Even during a routine interview, Rabbi Erps answers questions by utilizing his wide range of voiceovers, from silly to scary to sophisticated.

It’s like interviewing the entire cast of a feature Disney production.

But Rabbi Erps is just one person who has the ability to transform his voice into countless characterizations, leaving his listeners riveted.

When did he discover that he had this totally random and unusual talent?

“I started discovering this,” he says, “when I was nine years old.”

Nine??

“Believe it or not,” he says, “I was extremely shy when I was young.

Like really shy. But I broke through my shyness with my characters. I use a special technique called method acting, and I literally become the character when I do its voice. So if the character isn’t shy, then I’m not shy.”

Eventually, Rabbi Erps realized that changing his voice is a talent that is uniquely his own. “When you’re young, you think everyone can do it,” he says. “Later, you realize that it’s something unique to you.” Rabbi Erps insists that he

never trained for this, it just came naturally to him.

And his talents as a storyteller were put to good use early on. In the early 1960s, Rabbi Erps was appointed as a Pirchei leader in Boro Park. In those days, Rabbi Shmuel Kunda, z”l, and Rocky Zweig, z”l, were both master storytellers on the Pirchei circuit. And while they were each super talented in their own way, young Yitzy Erps learned from them both as he also developed his own personal style.

“I tried to incorporate the exciting movements of Rocky and the shtick of R’ Shmuel, while using my own voices,” he says. “I eventually developed my own shtick and added in some acrobatics. Kids loved it.”

Eventually, Yitzy Erps was asked to tell stories at mass Pirchei rallies.

Former Pirchei director, the legendary Rabbi Josh Silbermintz, z”l, was so impressed that he asked Yitzy to utilize his talents to entertain patients at local hospitals. Later, he joined the team at 613 Torah Avenue and did the artwork and narrations for 613 Torah Avenue Volume 3, Vayikra.

If Rabbi Erps learned from the great storytellers of a previous generation, he is also considered a mentor for the next generation of popular storytellers including Rabbi Fishel Schachter, Rabbi Yoel Ferber, and his own son, Rabbi Mayer Erps. In fact, Rabbis Erps and Schechter successfully collaborated together on the WonderWorks telephone hotline for kids sponsored by the Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation.

So how does he do it?

“Basically,” says Rabbi Erps, “I’m blessed with a lot of voices, I don’t even know how many. Hashem just sends me different voices and different accents. Not only that, but I can also take a voice and change the level of the pitch to create a whole different character. So, the possibilities are endless.”

How To Tell a Story

Many families will be home for Pesach this year and making their own Seder for the first time. The mitzvah of V’higadetah L’bincha is an integral part of the Pesach Seder.

But how to tell the story when your

The Jewish Home | APRIL 3, 2020 The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

kids are either bickering or bored?

We asked Rabbi Erps for a few pointers. And while most of us clearly aren’t blessed with his singular talents, there are some basic guidelines that he suggests.

“When you tell a story in third person, the kids are bored. You need to become the character,” he asserts.

“You need to act out the stories and change the pitch or tone of your voice to reflect different characters. Yes, it’s a performance. And you’re the star of the show.”

Which brings us to Rabbi Erps’ number one rule: “Don’t be afraid to be a storyteller.” Parents and mechanchim may think it’s below their dignity to do funny voices and shtick to engage the children. It’s not. “Get over it,” says Rabbi Erps.

“Lower your ego for a few minutes.

Become a kid at heart. They’ll love you for it!”

Rabbi Erps also recommends walking around while speaking, moving your hands, and using gestures. Actions will keep your audience interested. Maintain eye contact at all times, and don’t pause or hesitate. “Don’t speak to fast or too slow, but talk at a pace that will make it easy for them to listen.”

When telling stories to young children, Rabbi Erps recommends choosing a protagonist that kids will identify with who’s not necessarily a super tzaddik.

“Make the character human,” he says. He himself often uses a character named Yossi when telling stories, and the kids really respond to him.

“Yossi is mischievous. He interrupts me sometimes. He can be annoying sometimes. But through Yossi kids learn derech eretz and self-control. I use a character who’s not perfect to teach kids important lessons.”

Rabbi Erps also recommends building up a story.

“Capture their interest by embellishing,” he suggests. “Find elements that they can identify with. Yankele walked down the street and saw a bicycle in the store window. He really wanted that bike. That’s how you capture their interest.”

It’s also okay for a character to suffer sometimes or to be overwhelmed, says Rabbi Erps. “That’s real life,” he explains. “But every

story has to have a happy ending.”

Finally, he adds, have no fear.

You can do it. You really can.

An Offer He Couldn’t Refuse …

But He Did

Rabbi Erps clearly enjoys his chosen career and nothing makes him happier than entertaining and educating young children. But things could have turned out differently for him. He tells a personal story about a nisayon that could have dramatically changed the trajectory of his life.

Many years ago, Rabbi Erps was hired to tell a story at a kiruv program in North Carolina. He did his usual voiceovers, and the crowd was spellbound. “When the show was over,” says Rabbi Erps, “a man came on stage and told me he was amazed at my performance. He said I must’ve practiced for hours. I told him I didn’t. He asked how it’s possible that I don’t confuse my voices.

I explained that this is G-d’s gift to me.”

As it turned out, that man was director of Animation at a large production company in Charlotte. “He introduced himself and then offered me a job on the spot. Just like that, he offered me a six-figure income.”

Rabbi Erps was flattered, but he explained that his family lived in Brooklyn, not exactly North Carolina. The man refused to back down.

“He offered to move my family south and to buy me a house. He told me he has seasoned professionals working for him who cannot do what I do, and he wants me on board. But I told him that I prefer to use my talents for Jewish audiences.”

So the man handed his business card to Rabbi Erps and urged him to reconsider and give him a call.

“When he was out of sight,” says Rabbi Erps, “I ripped it up. I didn’t even look at his name. I just didn’t want to have the nisayon.”

It’s been years since that encounter, and Rabbi Erps has never regretted his decision.

“Look,” he says. “I may not be a millionaire, but I make children happy and I help them learn Jewish values at the same time. So, in a sense, I suppose you can say that I am a millionaire.”

Koach Foon Dem Moach

Storytelling is just one of Rabbi Erps’ talents. He is also a master of martial arts. “I’ve been practicing this for forty-nine years,” he says.

Aside for its many mental and physical benefits, Rabbi Erps’ expertise in karate turned into an opportunity. He was called by the director of Camp Romimu some years ago to break out color war by doing a karate demonstration. One thing led to another, and about a year later, he was approached by chassidishe camp directors to perform some of his incredible feats for their campers without wearing the karate gear and without demonstrating actual karate moves except for feats of strength.

“Martial arts requires internal power and mind control,” he explains. “We put together a show where I do feats of strength that these kids never saw before. Thus my show, Koach Foon Dem Moach, was born.”

“Koach foon dem moach” literally means “power from the brain.” During his performance, Rabbi Erps breaks wood and bricks, has wood broken over him, and more. The show is interactive. One of the best parts is when Rabbi Erps stands a certain way; ten or sixteen kids can’t push him over despite their best attempts. Then he stands on one foot and asks one or two adults to push him.

Invariably, they usually can’t.

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APRIL 3, 2020 | The|Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 The Jewish Home

FINDING THE ULTIMATE

FREEDOM BEHIND BARS

By Shawn Balva

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rowing up, my family wasn’t religious. G-d was rarely, almost never, mentioned. We ate like everyone else, we dressed like everyone else, we lived like everyone else, but rarely any mention of “G-d.” I knew that I was a Jew, and I’m sad to say that I wasn’t proud of it, but something inside of me always told me that I was different. This “different” was the candle inside, the Jewish soul, trapped, waiting to ignite.

It all started with my dad. My dad, Israeli-born, was always very spiritual and a huge believer in Hashem but not religious. He was my first messenger from Hashem. He pounded in my head over and over that I was a Jew and that I must marry a Jewish girl. When he would talk about a future event or I would tell him something that I was going to do, he always said, “b’ezrat

Hashem, with the help of Hashem.”

When I turned 13 years old, the time of bar mitzvah, having a bar mitzvah wasn’t something that crossed my mind. I grew up playing sports and that was how my life would be. Anything Jewish didn’t matter to me and, in fact, I was turned off by it. I saw how the other Jewish kids dressed and acted, and with my distorted/selfish/ childish mind, I didn’t want any part of them. I remember my dad arguing with my mom that it was important for me to have a bar mitzvah. This was such a big thing, and he did such a big mitzvah to ensure that I would get bar mitzvahed. My mom agreed. I prepared begrudgingly with a Chabad rabbi, Rabbi Oz, and one morning before school, I quickly had a bar mitzvah.

After my bar mitzvah, I went back to my “normal” life. We didn’t eat kosher, we didn’t do Shabbat, we didn’t do anything Jewish, but still, I knew who I was.

I eventually became very good at football.

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e lived in Las Vegas at the time. A lot of coaches were telling me that I could make football a profession. At 14 years old, the next step was to choose a high school that would give me the best chance to reach this goal. That school would be Bishop Gorman High School, a Catholic private school. My dad was enraged and argued heavily with my mom not to send me to this school. My Chabad rabbi asked my mom, “What place does a Jewish boy have in a Catholic school?” But I wanted to go there because of the opportunity it presented to get me into the professional football leagues, so my mom agreed.

My freshman year at Bishop Gorman I was required, like everyone else, to wear a uniform that had the Christian cross on it. I was also required to go to Catholic services and a Catholic

class once a week. They preached that “Yashkah” was the messiah. It’s amazing that these teachings never penetrated my soul. This is a prime example of Hashem being a magen, a shield. I still felt this “difference,” that I was different from all the other kids, and that caused me to feel anguish. Looking back, this anguish was the cause of me making decisions to lead me down a path of destruction – a path of destruction orchestrated by Hashem to lead me to my true purpose: to be a Jew. The next three years in high school, I attended Faith Lutheran High School, a Christian high school. Bishop Gorman didn’t work out, and the only other high school that would give me a chance to go pro was this Christian school. But football was all that mattered, so that’s where I decided to go to school. At Faith Lutheran, I was also required to wear a uniform with a cross on it, go to services, and take a class on Christianity, always feeling

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good season, and I will stay away from drugs.” For two weeks, I stayed away from drugs, and I had unbelievable games. My stats were through the roof.

If I kept this up throughout the year, I would definitely have had a real chance to go pro. But one night, one Thursday night, as the evil inclination does, a thought came into my head to do drugs.

I did, and the next day, unbelievably, I was randomly drug tested and was kicked off the football team.

I knew it was from G-d, but I continued in my druggy ways, getting worse and worse, and forgot all about G-d.

I

that “difference.”

In my junior year of high school, things were seemingly going great.

I was doing great in football, made some friends, and life was good. But one night, everything changed.

After a game, I went out with a friend to a party and drank alcohol for the first time. I fell in love with the party scene. Slowly, throughout my high school career, I became a full-time drug addict. Every day, every hour, every second, all I wanted to do was drugs and drink alcohol. It consumed my life. And worst of all, it worried my parents, especially my mom, who was witnessing my detonation.

My senior year was my first experience with G-d, but that disappeared just as fast as it came. I was suspended the first two games of my senior year for getting caught drinking at a party. When that suspension was up, a thought came to mind, to pray to G-d. I said, “G-d, please let me have a

n order to find peace and also because my little brother was attending a Jewish school, my mom started attending Friday night Shabbat services, lighting Shabbat candles, and making a meal with challah on Shabbat. Many times, she would invite me to participate. But I always told her that I was busy. If I ever did come, I would ask her to hurry up so that I could go out with my friends to do drugs. Her worry increased, but her reliance on Hashem increased as well.

After high school, I was doing nothing, my drug use increased, I started to steal, get tattoos, be with non-Jewish girls, and I stopped playing football. I turned into a full-time criminal. I was arrested for a DUI, which didn’t give me a wakeup call to stop what I was doing. I was completely out of control, using all different types of drugs. My criminal lifestyle included me having a weapon at all times. At the peak of my detonation, my family was extremely worried about me, but there was nothing stopping me. The drugs made me cold. Like Paraoh, the drugs “hardened” my heart. There was no amount of crying or begging to stop me on my destructive tracks. I was leading a life towards prison or death. My mom even told me, “If you continue, you will end up dead or in prison.”

It was at this destructive peak when Hashem had mercy on me and my family and took things into His own hands.

Out of the blue, I started to have a strange feeling. It isn’t something that I can explain in any way. But I started to feel that something was telling me to stop what I was doing or else something bad would happen. Every time that I was going to engage in criminal activi-

ties or do drugs, I felt that “something” but I shrugged it off and continued in my ways. Life’s pressures of having a job and needing to sign up for college, while balancing a drug-infested criminal lifestyle, was really getting to me. I felt like I was going to pop.

On August 25, 2015, I was arrested for armed robbery. I was taken to the Las Vegas county jail, booked, and processed. I was devastated, but my family was even more so.

Jail was horrible. It was dirty and filled with actual criminals. I didn’t feel like I belonged. And when I was finally detoxed from all the drugs a few days later, I felt that “different” feeling again and remembered that I was a Jew. I even started to pray to Hashem to take me out of this nightmare. When my mom and dad came to visit me, it took so much to hold back my tears. I even remember my mom telling me, “Whatever will be, I picture you living a beautiful Jewish life when this is all over.” It sounded good, but all I could think about was having to spend time in prison.

My mom and dad suggested that I get the kosher food that they offered at the jail. A rabbi who worked at the prison came to my unit and asked me questions to verify that I was Jewish.

The next day I started to eat kosher.

Everybody else’s food tray was brown, and mine was red. At first, I was nervous to be different than everyone else, but eventually I realized that if you are yourself, with confidence, and you don’t overstep anybody’s path, you are given respect. Around the unit, guys would call me “Kosher” because of my red kosher tray.

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wo weeks into jail, it had been a very spiritual experience. I was suffering, but I felt G-d. I had the opportunity to get on house arrest-bail to await sentencing. The night before the judge’s decision, a random person who knew nothing about me came up to me and said, “I can see that you are going through a tough time, but you’re going to go home soon.” The next day, the judge agreed to let me out on bail, something very unusual for an armed robbery charge. The next day, while I was being released on bail, I walked past a tough-looking, Latino individual, with tattoos all over his face and body. He asked me, “You goin’

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home?” I told him I was. He said, “G-d bless you.”

I left that day with a newfound belief in Hashem. I didn’t understand it fully yet, but the candle was lit and not by my own doing.

Out on bail, I completed a rehabilitation program but that and jail still didn’t teach me a lesson. For the nine months that I was out on bail, I picked alcohol and drugs back up, even though I was being drug tested by my house arrest officer. After a while, my mom was fed up with my behavior and told me that I needed to turn myself into jail before I got into trouble and made things worse. My lawyer already informed me that I was definitely going to do prison time, so it was better to start my time right then.

I spent five months in a federal jail in Las Vegas. During those five months, my soul started to inquire a little more about Judaism. I still wasn’t eating kosher or observing Shabbat, but I wanted to know a little bit more of what it meant to be a Jew. The first thing I started to do was to participate in the fast days. I even jokingly said to my mom, “Maybe I’ll be a rabbi one day.” Many times, Hashem gives us a wakeup call that makes a deep impression on us, and one of those wakeups happened to me after the fast of Yom Kippur.

As the fast was coming to an end, I prepared for myself a non-kosher dish, with pork and cheese. I’ll always remember a white guy with a swastika tattooed on the back of his head who came up to me and said, “I don’t understand you Jews. You fast and pray, and then eat non-kosher. You’re a hypocrite.”

What he said really opened my eyes to the truth – that I was a Jew and that I had a purpose. I still wasn’t 100% ready to change, but the change was imminent.

I

was eventually sentenced to eight years and one day in prison. At 21 years old, I would be going to Victorville Prison in California, a very tough and dangerous prison, no place for a Jew. Arriving at Victorville, I was nervous but ready for whatever was ahead of me. Like I said before, if you be yourself and are sincere, you will get respect for that. Some guys at the prison told

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me that I should hide my Judaism, but I let it be known, and the respect was given.

After getting settled in, on my first Saturday morning, I was called into the chapel for Shabbat services. I showed up to the chapel and was walked to a small room where the Jewish services were being held. As I walked into the room, I was greeted by an African-American man wearing a tallit who introduced himself as Adir. Adir in Hebrew means mighty. He even had it tattooed under his eye, which I later found out was to cover up a gang tattoo.

Adir explained to me that, at 18 years old, he was given a 56-year sentence; he was now 40 years old. The past 14 years in prison he was practicing Judaism, even though he wasn’t halachically Jewish. In prison, it’s close to impossible to have a kosher conversion, and he truly wanted one. Adir explained to me that, since I was Jewish, I should start eating kosher, observing the Shabbat, and putting on tefillin –and that’s exactly what I did. I started to eat kosher and keep Shabbat to the best of my ability, and until my tefillin would arrive in the mail, Adir would let me borrow his every morning.

It’s amazing how Hashem put Adir into my life. I looked up to Adir because he was a cool guy, so he made Judaism cool to me. My distorted perception growing up was that being Jewish,

eating kosher, and keeping Shabbat wasn’t cool. But now that Adir showed me that it was, I wanted more and more to learn what it meant to be an observant Jew. In Victorville, we celebrated the holidays. I started attending Friday and Saturday Shabbat services every

same room as an open toilet, and since our rooms had a toilet in them, I covered the toilet with a towel.

I started to pray Shacharit, Mincha, and Maariv. I would call my mom and dad and ask them to look up on Google certain questions I had on Jewish law. A rabbi from Chabad came to visit

“I DON’T UNDERSTAND YOU JEWS. YOU FAST AND PRAY, AND THEN EAT NON-KOSHER. YOU’RE A HYPOCRITE.” week. We said kiddush on grape juice and said hamotzi on bread. I stopped making phone calls, emailing, and watching TV on Shabbat. From an ArtScroll siddur, I copied down all the blessings on food and always kept it in my pocket. When it was time to say a blessing, I covered my head with my hand (which I now know is not halachically acceptable but I was trying), and quietly said the blessing. I found out that you are not allowed to pray in the

us once a month, and I would ask him questions. I’ll always remember one of the questions I asked that rabbi.

At the time, I had in mind to play football professionally when I got out, but I knew that it would conflict with my observance as a Jew. I told him that if I played football, I would at some point have to break the Shabbat.

I asked him what to do. He told me that I knew the answer. I know the answer now, and the truth is that, as Jews,

Hashem must come first over anything.

I started asking my parents to get me in touch with a rabbi who I could speak to at any time because my soul had a thirst to learn Torah but I had no idea how. My thirst to be an observant Jew came out of nowhere. I wanted more and more. Anything that I found out I wasn’t doing right or not doing at all I immediately corrected to be in sync with halacha. I loved it, and still, I wanted more.

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ne day, my mom came to visit me. She told me that if I wanted to study more about Judaism, I should ask to be transferred to Otisville, which was all the way in New York. Otisville had a full-time rabbi as the head chaplain, about 20 Jews there, and a minyan every day. She also told me, “There’s this guy there, Rabbi Rubashkin. He will take you under his wing and teach you how to be a proper Jew.” I was reluctant to ask for the transfer because of the distance from home and the cold weather in New York. I told my mom that I didn’t want to go, that I was OK where I was. Eventually, though, because Victorville was a dangerous prison, I started to feel uncomfortable and told my mom that we should try to get me transferred to Otisville.

Every Shacharit, Mincha, and Maariv, I prayed with great kavanah

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015 The Jewish Home | APRIL 3, 2020

to Hashem that He should send me to Otisville so that I may learn to walk in the ways of the Torah. My intent was pure, and He answered my prayers.

A few weeks later, with the help of Hashem, my mom, and the Aleph Institute, I was designated to Otisville. On my way to Otisville, which took two plane rides and a month in transit, because of Hashem and the help of Rabbi Katz, I didn’t miss a day of putting on tefillin and eating kosher. Even at both stops in Oklahoma City and Brooklyn, I was greeted by other Orthodox Jews.

In Brooklyn, it was my first encounter with Chassidic Jews walking with a smile on their face saying, “Shalom aleichem!”

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hen I finally arrived in Otisville, I was amazed to see grass and nice officers.

In Victorville, there was no grass and all the officers were very disrespectful.

I was taken to my unit where I would be housed. I was greeted by a guy wearing a kippa and tzitzit. He told me, “I would like to introduce you to Rabbi Rubashkin. He lives in this unit.” I was very happy to hear that I would be living in the same unit as the rabbi that my mom told me about when I was in Victorville.

It was unbelievable.

When I met Rabbi Rubashkin, I was starstruck. He had an aura of light around him that made you forget you were in prison. He had an amazing smile that made you feel good.

He brought me to his room, I put on tefillin, and said the Shema. Later on that first day, I went to my first ever minyan. When I arrived at the minyan, I was greeted by the warmest of smiles and handshakes. I was on a cloud. Even in the darkest of darks, prison, the Jewish people come together to make a dwelling for Hashem.

I started to wear kippa and tzitzit all the time. Little by little, my service to Hashem became finetuned. My kosher consumption, Shabbat observance, and prayer service became in sync with halacha due to the fact that I was now surrounded by rabbis and some observant Jews. But what I really wanted, which my Jewish soul was thirsting for, was to learn The Holy Torah, Hashem’s Torah.

Rabbi Rubashkin suggested that, since we lived in the same unit, we should learn Chumash with Rashi and

Rambam every day. And that’s exactly what we did for the next three months before his presidential commute from prison, he taught me how to learn Torah. I learned so much, not only from what we learned in the Torah alone, but on how to conduct myself as a proper Jew. He taught me great lessons and when he left, I was very sad but also happy that he was reunited with his family.

I’ll always remember how he would say all the time that at any moment we

him if he would teach me Gemara, and he happily agreed. Since he came, for the past year, we have been learning Gemara, Shulchan Aruch, and Mesilat Yesharim by the Ramchal every day.

Words cannot explain how proud I am to call myself a student of Rabbi Samet.

Every day he makes me understand more and more what it means to be a Jew in this tough world. He showed me that, in life, we are always going to have problems, challenges, and struggles but it is incumbent on us to use these strug-

EVEN IN THE DARKEST OF DARKS, PRISON, THE JEWISH PEOPLE COME TOGETHER TO MAKE A DWELLING FOR HASHEM. can be freed from prison – and that’s exactly what happened. He was released on the last day of Chanukah 2017.

After Rabbi Rubashkin left, I felt a void. I knew how to study on my own, and I was stronger in my observance but my soul was sad from the disappearance of the special treatment it just went through. I needed a teacher.

A few months later, my prayers were answered and I started learning Gemara with Rabbi Goldstein, another rabbi in prison. His knowledge and patience were amazing. Every day, for the next five months, we would learn until he eventually went to the Otisville camp. Through this time, I became much more familiar with the Gemara, as he was very patient with me, and just spending time with a rabbi every day has a great impact on you. Rabbi Goldstein really taught me what it meant to be humble. But when he left, I felt a void again. I prayed to Hashem to send me a teacher, and once again He answered my prayer. A few days before Pesach 2019, Rabbi Samet, who left Otisville 18 months earlier, had come back. I asked

gles to increase our emunah (faith) in Hashem. He has shown me that, as a Jew, all we can do is be sincere of heart in serving Hashem. The rest is in the hands of Hashem.

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s I look at where I used to be, as opposed to where I am now, I can only be humble. I look at myself, a fully observant Jew, still with many flaws, I am so humble and thankful to Hashem for what He has taken me out of. Hashem saved me from underneath a mountain engulfed in water. The c h a l le n ge s , the Catholic and Chr istian schools, t he drugs, prison, disappointments, discomforts, and confusions – and today I

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sit, with an understanding that the Torah is our life. I still don’t know how to perfect this service, but at least I know the goal. I look at all the suffering I, my family, and many others have been through. I realize that it is only so that we may learn to love and revere Hashem. As it says in Tehillim (119:71), “Tov li ki unety l’maan elmad chukecha, It is for my good that I was afflicted so that I may learn your statutes.” Through my suffering, I’ve realized that salvation only comes from Hashem, and He does everything good and bad so that we may know that He is Hashem. I also now understand the Rashi in B’shalach (15:17) where Rashi explains that, in the future, Hashem will have supreme sovereignty. It’s not that Hashem doesn’t have sovereignty always, but now that I am aware and believe this, this is the true supreme sovereignty.

As I look at where I am, as opposed to where I’ve been, my intellect shows me that I can only be humble. I am a solid tree. My leaves are green, and my fruits are ripening. My flowers are colorful, and my branches are strong.

My trunk is firm, ready to withstand the world. I look around at all the other trees. As I look into the distance, I see one of the beautiful trees being tended by a familiar face. It’s the same face that has tended to me. I’m instantly humbled, because I now know that it was meant to be.

Be patient and humble, and give to receive. Be kind and compassionate, and you will feel free. Let go of the worry, and let G-d in your life because He’s already t here.

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APRIL 3, 2020 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Dating Dialogue

What Would You Do If… Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LCSW of The Navidaters

Dear Navidaters,

I have been married for almost a year, and my husband and I have a pretty good marriage. It just bothers me so much that my husband’s parents seem to have an unhealthy obsession with us. We are the only married couple in the family so far, and as it is, they’re lonely. They find every opportunity to drop by, bring us completely unnecessary things that I end up throwing out, get nervous about every little thing in our lives which drives me crazy, and love to give unsolicited advice. It has gotten worse since the coronavirus started to spread because they are constantly calling to check in, leaving food packages by the door, I don’t even have room for all the hordes of stuff my mother-in-law drops off!

My husband doesn’t find it annoying, on the contrary, he thinks it’s sweet. When we were dating, I also thought it was sweet, but to be so far into our marriage and have them still so hands-on and boundary-less is stifling! What would you do?

Thank you, Nechama

Disclaimer: This column is not intended to diagnose or otherwise conclude resolutions to any questions.

Our intention is not to offer any definitive

conclusions to any particular question, rather offer areas of exploration for the author and reader. Due to the nature of the column receiving only a short snapshot of an issue, without the benefit of an actual discussion, the panel’s role is to offer a range of possibilities. We hope to open up meaningful dialogue and individual exploration.

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 2015 The Jewish Home | APRIL29, 3, 2020 The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

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The Panel The Rebbetzin Rebbetzin Faigie Horowitz, M.S. echama, thank you for a clear, honest question. You gave a lot of relevant information.

Thinking, talking, and doing are the way to go. Think about the five love languages which categorize how people give and receive love.

They are: words of affirmation, acts of service, touch, gifts, and quality time. Ponder what your love languages are. Ponder your husband’s love languages. It’s good for any couple, particularly a newly minted one, to figure out each other’s ways of communicating love. Start a conversation with your husband about this topic and open up to one another. Learn his language and show him your love his way. This will strengthen you as a couple and significantly deepen your relationship.

So think, communicate, and act.

Do the same with your in-laws.

Ponder your in-laws’ love languages. As you indicated, gifts are probably high on their list. Talk about it with your husband. And then decide on what you want to do about your feelings of boundary-less involvement on the part of your inlaws. Once you put on the five love languages lens, you may not find all of it intrusive. Choose to act on what is truly problematic for you.

Remember that your relationship as a couple comes first. Use this opportunity to build your relationship.

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The Mother Sarah Schwartz Schreiber, P.A. ather round, my dear newlyweds, for I am about to reveal the fundamental secret to Happiness in Marriage. Invite your inlaws; they may benefit as well.

The elusive, eternal key to hav-

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ing a streamlined, carefree, and fulfilling marriage is…(trumpets, drumroll and – may I have the envelope – please)…BALANCE. If only your in-laws could temper their love for their son and his darling wife with the couple’s need for privacy, you wouldn’t be writing the panel. If only you could empathize with his parents’ feelings (for twenty-odd years they were central to his life and, poof! overnight, they are shunted to the sidelines) you would accept their phone calls and care packages with more grace and understanding. You’ll be a mother, too, one day. (BTW, if you’re feeling flush with Purell and Charmin, contact me through the editor.)

My point: your marriage is fairly new. Your in-laws, who heretofore had not married off a child and appear to be super close to that son, are just testing the boundaries of mechutanim-hood. Some in-laws just get it; they find that sweet spot – the balance between assistance and interference – pretty early on. In other families, establishing a healthy, mutually respectful relationship can take way longer…up to a lifetime!

Some tips (culled from the selfhelp classic, “Shviggering for Dummies”; not available on Amazon, so don’t bother) on coping during this challenging transition period in your young marriage: -First and foremost: Never complain to your husband about his parents, especially because he thinks their meddling is “sweet.” He grew up believing his parents are generous and loving. He married you, in all innocence, with the belief that you are duly generous, sweet, and loving. Your role is not to topple his parents from their pedestal. This will only compromise his respect and admiration for you. Likewise, when he complains about them, bite your tongue until it bleeds.

-You are not a Yenta. Designate ONE person. She can be your rebbetzin, kallah teacher, or favorite aunt. Choose one trusted, discreet

and level-headed individual to serve as your sounding board when you need to vent about the in-laws. Because Hubby is off-limits in this arena (see above) you will need a shoulder to cry on and an understanding voice to remind you that “this too shall pass.”

-Maintain an optimistic attitude; count your blessings. From your description, your in-laws have not proven to be mean or critical or miserly. On the contrary, they are proving to be abundantly caring and generous. So they’re excited about “their” new couple and want to participate in your lives? I can assure you that their enthusiasm will wane over time – especially as they marry off other children. In the meantime, remind yourself your in-laws are part of the package that makes your husband so wonderful. If that package comes with a year’s supply of toothpaste, I’ll take it any time!

The Shadchan Michelle Mond t is about time you read the shidduch version of “A Tale of Two Cities” by Chaim Dickstein. Everything has a flip side. Having had many friends in the same boat as you, as well as the opposite of what you describe, I can understand the hardship of being on both ends.

On one hand, it is very difficult to be a newlywed feeling like your in-laws can’t stop thinking of excuses to come over and bring you stuff.

On the other hand, how would you feel if your in-laws never offered a helping hand? How would you feel if they did not seem to care whether you were taken care of for Shabbos meals, suppers, or random groceries they think you might need? You may think that you would rather have it the other way around but that could actually be a very lonely feeling.

The good news is that you have

I

Your relationship as a couple comes first.

in-laws that you can undoubtedly depend on when you need them. Remind yourself that everything they are doing is coming from a good place. B’ezras Hashem, when you, for good reasons, are nauseous and unable to make supper, you know that you will have your in-laws at your doorstep with a piping hot meal, ginger ale, and soup. Judging by your in-laws’ giving nature it is likely you will not have to lift a finger. It may be annoying now as a newlywed but you will see that as your family grows iy”H you will not only appreciate the help but you will welcome it.

This does not mean you should ignore your feelings. If you feel a serious lack of boundaries you must communicate it. Have your husband give your in-laws clear guidelines which still allow them to give but in a more strategic way. For example: “Mom, we love that you help us like you do; the suppers you make are delicious! The thing is, our fridge does not have room for anything else! We end up having to throw things out. Can we set up one night a week where you can ask Nechama what she needs from the store and you will get her what we need?”

Just as you and your husband during shana rishona are learning to understand each other’s natures, you are now learning your in-laws’ nature as well. It is also important to remember that everybody has had early life experiences which create the big picture of who they are today. It could be they had a lack of “help” early in life, or some kind of neglect, which have caused your inlaws to become overly giving and

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anxious about their kids’ well-being.

Hang in there, and be grateful for the “good” problems you are experiencing. Hatzlacha!

The Zaidy Dr. Jeffrey Galler e get letters from newlyweds complaining of too much inlaw interference in their lives; we get letters from newlyweds complaining of too little in-law involvement in their lives.

When your husband characterizes his parents’ intrusiveness as “sweet,” that may be true, but it doesn’t help you at all. You, clearly, do not find their invasiveness “sweet.” And, if you’re annoyed now, what do you think will happen when you produce their first grandchild?!

Solutions to these kinds of di-

W

lemmas depend on both parties understanding each other’s needs.

1. What your in-laws need It’s easy to understand your inlaws. They want to be loved and appreciated. They fear losing their son. They need to feel like they will always be an important part of your lives.

Picture yourself in two or three decades. You will dread feeling like you’re suddenly cut off from the lives of your children.

2. What you need On the other hand, you and your husband need breathing space in order to grow into your own independent lives. You need your in-laws to respect your privacy and understand that there are boundaries to their ongoing involvement.

3. So, what do you do?

You need to tread lightly here.

You know how important it is to maintain a good relationship. a. Positive reinforcement is always better than negative criticism.

For example, when a parent wants a child to stop thumb-sucking, it’s counterproductive to scream, “You’re such a baby! I’m so angry!

I caught you sucking your thumb again!” It’s far more effective for a parent to praise a child by saying, “I’m so proud of you! I saw that you did not suck your thumb all morning!”

When speaking to your in-laws, do not complain, “You shouldn’t have come over last night! We wanted some private time together! And, I don’t have any room for all the stuff that you bring!” Instead, try complimenting, “I know you usually come over on Sunday nights, but you were so considerate to give us some private time together last night. And our refrigerator is still overflowing with all the homemade food you left us last week!” b. Humor is a valuable tool. Try saying, “My poor husband. He’s gained ten pounds in the last year!

Every Friday night, he feels that he

You and your husband need breathing space in order to grow into your own independent lives.

has to eat two meals: the one that I make and the one that you make for him!”

Try using your smartphone smartly. Use apps (like PhotoFunia, LoonaPix, FunnyWow, or pho.to) to send your in-laws funny, simulated photos of you and your husband looking very obese after eating all of their delicious food, or simulated photos of your closet bursting at the seams with all of their wonderful gifts.

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015 The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015 The Jewish Home | APRIL 3, 2020

You’re an obviously intelligent and caring individual, and you re-

alize that your in-laws are showering you with gifts because

Pulling It All Together The Navidaters Dating and Relationship Coaches and Therapists

I

have to first take a moment to send my condolences to all those who have lost loved ones during this epidemic. Baruch dayan haemet. This is a heartbreaking and devastating time; a time filled with fear, isolation and sickness. People are suffering physically and emotionally and our world has drastically changed.

Grandparents are alone for health measures, children are stuck inside, parents are working tirelessly to protect their children from this emotional anguish and barely have an ounce of energy left for themselves by the day’s end. And to boot...“things” are coming up for all of us. The things we could distract ourselves from with work or a manicure are heightened.

The things in our lives that weren’t working are typically being brought to the forefront as home life becomes more and more intense. Children who had behavioral issues before are expected to act up more now. Abusive behaviors, whether physical, emotional or psychological, are increasing.

I give myself permission to feel whatever I am feeling. If I am having a sad day, I allow myself to go with it. We are in shock and we are in mourning...so every feeling makes sense now. In order to get through this time, we are going to have to try to set aside time to accomplish things, to find gratitude, and to work on ourselves. We will need to continue connecting with others by phone or Zoom and, of course, we must continue to listen to the authorities and stay home to flatten the curve. If

you are “cracking,” you are not alone. Please, please, please reach out to a mental health professional.

Your mental and emotional health is of critical importance right now!

I try to dance or hula-hoop every day to uplifting music. Eat well, eat healthful foods to keep your body running. Some of us are forgetting to eat. Please remember to eat.

There are organizations and neighborhood groups that are available to help you. Sending everyone my warmest wishes for health, love, sanity and happiness during this time.

And onto Nechama...

D

ear Nechama, Mazal tov on your marriage.

I would expect that your in-laws are doing more of the same now during the coronavirus outbreak. I would expect it to heighten. Whatever this need was of theirs before is going to intensify now as their feelings are being brought to the forefront. And I’m wondering if maybe, at least in part, that is what is going on now for you as well. I think it’s important for all of us to separate how we felt pre-corona from how we are feeling now. I don’t have the answer to that – just something to think about.

The solution to this is very simple; whether the players involved will acquiesce is not. You and your husband have to talk. When you express your feelings about his parents’ involve-

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they love you. You can successfully shower your in-laws with love and respect while simultaneously maintaining

your own privacy and independence.

I’m confident that you will be able to patiently, diplomatically, and tactfully help chart the right balance.

ment, ideally he will be able to at least hear you and give you validation, acknowledge that your opinion matters to him. The way this is impacting you matters to him. So often this is really what a wife or husband is seeking from her/ his spouse. Validation. I see you. This is step one. Ground zero.

This isn’t about right vs. wrong, and I don’t want to see you two going down that road.

Before any solution to the “problem” can be worked out, you two need to view yourselves as a team. When both partners have the ability to work together and value each other’s opinions, they can typically accomplish most anything.

You didn’t specify whether your in-laws’ drop-bys are announced or unannounced. If they are unannounced, that is a true violation of privacy and shows a lack of understanding or a lack of care for your boundaries as a couple and as adults.

If they call first and your husband or you are saying “yes” to their visits, that is a different story.

The true solution to this will only come from you and your husband

working together as a team and then ideally your husband having a heartto-heart with his parents, where he makes sure they know they are an integral part of your lives but laying down some boundaries to protect his young marriage.

This understanding between you and your husband needs to be worked on now to ensure the safety of your shalom bayis. If need be, please see a couple’s therapist to get on the same page...ASAP. It will be the BEST investment for your future. And feel free to show this to the hubs.

All the best, Jennifer

Jennifer Mann, LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and dating and relationship coach working with individuals, couples, and families in private practice at 123 Maple Avenue in Cedarhurst, NY. She also teaches a psychology course at Touro College. To set up a consultation or to ask questions, please call 516-224-7779, ext. 2. Visit www.thenavidaters.com for more information. If you would like to submit a dating or relationship question to the panel anonymously, please email thenavidaters@gmail.com. You can follow The Navidaters on FB and Instagram for dating and relationship advice.

Hi Readers!

Receiving your enthusiastic emails wanting to participate in the Reader’s Respond section has been wonderful! Just a reminder about how Reader Response works. Email thenavidaters@gmail. com with the subject line “Reader Response.” We will then ask you, in the order we receive your email, if you would like to respond to the coming week’s email. If you would like to respond to an already printed Navidaters Panel, please submit your answer to the editor at editor@fivetownsjewishhome.com. You can also join us on our FB page @thenavidaters on Sunday evenings to post your response to the week’s column. Interacting with you has been a pleasure! Thank you for all of your feedback.

Jennifer

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Dr. Deb

What is Trauma?

By Deb Hirschhorn, Ph.D.

M

ental health trauma shows up as the inability of the brain to place memories of experiences where they belong. Usually, memories get stored in the hippocampus. However, in trauma, this is disrupted. The “smoke alarm,” as Bessel van der Kolk calls the amygdala, sends screeching signals to the rest of the brain that there is a serious problem here as a real trauma is unfolding. This is part of our survival mechanism.

This puts our fight or flight activity into high gear. Calories and blood are diverted to muscles so we can run and take physical action. Well, that diversionary process stops the memory from being fully recorded. What we have left is more like a few key slides rather than the full video. The hippocampus may never get the complete memory back.

Normally, the hippocampus records lots of detail and emotion along with a time stamp. We get our sense of the chronology of our lives from the hippocampus. The timestamp enables us to feel that an older memory is older. It may fade or change a bit over time. We don’t quite recall every one of the people that was present for a given experience years later, for example.

All that changes in trauma.

The amygdala first tells the thalamus what’s happening, and the thalamus immediately activates the hypothalamus, which starts up the stress response. One of the components of the stress response is the production of cortisol which goes, like a magnet, to the hippocampus. Over years of being bathed in cortisol, the hippocam-

pus actually shrinks. (Don’t worry; with proper healing, it can get back to its size.)

Nevertheless, the hippocampus wants to do its job. It just is impaired at the moment. So instead of a detailed, panoramic picture or video of what’s happening, it focuses on just the key fragments that it wants you to remember. They’re out of context but often sharp and clear. And often, blurred, instead. And no timestamp.

What are the Symptoms of Trauma and Anxiety?

Here are some PTSD symptoms: • Flashbacks • Hypervigilance • Poor sleep • Excessive sleep (in conjunction with other symptoms) • Easily triggered • Nightmares • Intrusive thoughts you don’t want to think about • Disturbing visions or memories in fragments • Dissociation • Feeling emotionally numb Let’s define items from the above list which may need a little clarification: Flashbacks: Remember, the memory was not completely captured by the hippocampus. There are missing pieces to the story. Instead of a videotape, we have a few snapshots. The emotional context and the timestamp are often missing as well as so many parts of the story. Our brain, however, wants to get everything neat and organized, so it keeps presenting to us the fragments that it does have in an attempt to have us fill in what was

missing. Our experience of this is anything but a process of creating order.

Instead, it feels terrifying to keep seeing, unexpectedly, these fragmented pictures.

The worst part of this is that these flashes do not feel like “memory.” That is because they were not encoded with the timestamp in the first place.

So they keep feeling like they’re happening now – and that, alone, is even more disturbing, frightening, or anger-producing.

Hypervigilance: The amygdala has not been reassured that things are fine. On the contrary, there are very few neural pathways between the cortex, which is the thinking part of our brains, and the amygdala. In addition, when the traumatic event(s) occurred, the amygdala actually stops the cortex from communicating with the thalamus. The reason is that in emergencies, we can’t afford to waste time thinking, so it shuts off any communication there might have been. For this reason, the amygdala, always watchful, creates more of that eyes-wideopen experience for us, often making us jump at random sounds and flinch at harmless words. The amygdala’s speed will not be suppressed by rational information.

Triggered. This is the word therapists often use to describe the experience of the amygdala’s smoke alarm going off when the person or thing that set it off really has very little resemblance to the original event or person.

The slightest similarity can trigger that reaction. This bit about “very little resemblance” has a name. It’s called “generalization.” That’s what happens to people diagnosed with “Generalized

Anxiety Disorder.” Generalization means that every single thing, practically, becomes a source of fear, irritation, or anger. It will take very little to set off a person who suffers from it.

Intrusive thoughts are another way the amygdala fires. Repeatedly. And then some more. The biggest problem with this is that we try to avoid them, of course. But avoidance is not possible, and the more we avoid, the more they rush in with a vengeance.

Dissociation. This is not only what happened at the moment of the trauma but can happen repeatedly to a person over years. There are several ways that a person can dissociate: (1) A feeling of disconnection from reality which is called derealization; (2) a feeling of disconnection from oneself which is called depersonalization; (3) a disconnection from emotions so a person is feeling flat with no highs, no lows, and not much else, either; (4) not remembering experiences or not being aware even in the moment of what is happening. This last one happens to all of us from time to time. When it gets in the way of normal life, then we look at the possibility of trauma underlying it.

Numbing. When, instead of going into fight or flight mode, the person goes into freeze mode, they must feel trapped with no other option. Freeze mode is governed by a different system from the fight or flight one; it’s a lower order, more rudimentary system but works protectively for someone who really does feel trapped. Numbing is a repeated return to that state. It is a more severe form of dissociation discussed above.

The Jewish HomeHome | OCTOBER 2015 The Jewish | APRIL29, 3, 2020

Another group that research has shown success with is people with excessive anxiety. For example: • Intrusive worries that won’t leave you alone • Seeing the worst possible outcome in nearly everything Research has also shown EMDR to be successful with people who do not like themselves. Why would that be? The connection between a lack of self-love and trauma is that this lack of self-love came from toxic messages that we might have received. This process – receiving toxic messages and turning them into self-hate – is, indeed, traumatic.

That experience covers a large number of people, many of whom would be able to find inner peace and self-love with my Love Yourself program without the need for EMDR. To derive real benefit from EMDR, a person would have these specific symptoms: • Emotions of fear, anger, or repulsion are excruciatingly easily aroused • These feelings are occasionally triggered by a relatively small amount of knowledge about the person who arouses them. In other words, they’re out of proportion to who or what the trigger is.

• Avoidance of looking inside oneself.

• Self-hate is at a 8, 9 or 10 on a 10-point subjective scale • Repeated return to addictions even after being “sober” for several months. (Meaning that it is not the chemical nature of the addiction that is causing the relapse.)

How Does EMDR Work?

The goal is brain health. This means that loose memory fragments must be properly encoded in the hippocampus in terms of the timestamp and the emotional context of what happened.

So how does that work?

Hashem truly provides the refuah before the makka. He created the concept of “reconstitution.”

And we’re not talking about orange juice; we’re talking about DNA. It works like this: your memories are not these vague, ephemeral things called “memories” at all. Actually, they are protein molecules! And, as

it so happens, when you concentrate on a memory, or just parts of the memory, for a few moments, it loosens that protein molecule so that its chain of peptides becomes fluid. You can then change it before it reconstitutes itself. And, my friends, Hashem gave you six hours in which to do that. That’s right: scientists have learned that the loosening of the peptides lasts for six hours before they go back where they were or they go where they need to go, all fixed up.

The way to constructively change the molecule is by adding context to it. Context normally consists of information about when it occurred, with whom it occurred, what you were doing when it occurred, why you were doing it, how you felt about it, what preceded it, what followed it, how you felt about that, and what you want to do next. It is context that helps us make sense of what happens and make plans for getting through it. It is context that helps us think things through clearly in a solution-focused way.

And here is the best part: we all have that capability within us. We all know what is right and good. It’s just that at times our emotional, self-protective devices will prevent us from figuring this out – as described above when the amygdala hijacks the pathway to the prefrontal cerebral cortex.

All that is needed is a method for calmly accessing the emotionally-fraught memories such that they can be hooked onto the rest of the context even when we are missing the remaining pieces of those memories. Enter Francine Shapiro. (Yes, she was Jewish. She died, unfortunately, last year.) Shapiro discovered that moderately rapid eye movements from left to right and back move your awareness from a central thought to contextual information that is useful to put that initial thought into reasonable context.

I had heard of her decades ago and never followed up this interesting line of trauma treatment until I was reading one of my favorite scientists on trauma, Bessel van der Kolk, who strongly recommended clinicians learn EMDR. So I did. And I started giving free sessions by the bulk to current clients since I wanted to see how it worked for myself. I

was just amazed. Me, the big blabbermouth who always had to chime in reminders to clients “Use your tools!” could keep silent as I watched, marveling, clients connect their own dots without a word from me. They would begin a session upset, and in three-minute segments of time, they would solve their own dilemmas. I was just the privileged onlooker in a ring-side seat watching healing take place before my eyes.

You see, there is very little need for talking in this wonderful healing program. Apparently, the brain does the connecting of the dots – almost literally – by itself. After each 3-minute interval of finger movement, I do ask people what they felt or thought, but they do not have to reply. The point of my question is to assess how they’re doing so I know if I should introduce a question to keep in mind for the next 3-minute section. But people can keep that to a minimum.

In a month or two of sessions, people went from agitated to calm, unable to sleep to sleeping well, tormented by thoughts to putting them into perspective, from hating themselves to simply accepting themselves and what happened to them.

I would like to take those people further ahead on their journey.

I’m not satisfied with “neutral.” I want to see them happy, full of the exuberance of life and self-love. So I’m working with them online now – when they’re not busy monitoring their kids’ “corona school” as my grandchildren call it.

Evidence According to the EMDR Institute’s website, “There has been so much research on EMDR therapy that it is now recognized as an effective form of treatment for trauma and other disturbing experiences by organizations such as the American Psychiatric Association, the World Health Organization and the Department of Defense.”

A Kaiser Permanente study, for example, showed that 77% of war veterans recovered from PTSD in only 12 sessions. It is useful for “low self-esteem and powerlessness,” according to the EMDR Institute.

Research shows the results are long-lasting.

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The EMDR Institute concludes: “Over 100,000 clinicians throughout the world use the therapy. Millions of people have been treated successfully over the past 25 years.”

My Gratitude Every single thing that has gone terribly wrong in my life ended up very well. We don’t see how it is possible at the time, but it is. In fact, the story of Francine Shapiro’s discovery of the EMDR system illustrates this.

First of all, she had been disturbed for years by the death of her little sister. Then she herself got cancer (which is how she ultimately died).

But these tragedies led her to help tens of thousands of people who have been successfully treated for their traumas using EMDR. My own EMDR journey started last summer. I was incredibly busy with my coaching program, Love Yourself, for marrieds and singles.

I was also going to be leaving town for California shortly. In the middle of all that, I got an email from the New York Education Department “reminding” me that I had 30 credits to complete for renewing my license. Uh oh. I’d somehow missed the original email. So I took a whirlwind of wonderful trauma courses including the EMDR which has already been helping people. So grateful for this.

Next, I got told recently that a client “could not go through” with the Love Yourself program. Given that I knew some of their background, that was a strong hint that maybe there was a trauma history so strong that they needed EMDR and not the coaching program. Uh-oh.

But that was precisely the stimulus I needed to open up the EMDR program to everyone who needed it. And what this means, too, is that even people who are not prepared to work the Marriage You Want program will eventually be able to handle it.

I am forever grateful to start people on their healing journey.

Dr. Deb Hirschhorn is a Marriage and Family Therapist. If you want help with your marriage, begin by signing up to watch her Masterclass at https://drdeb. com/myw-masterclass.

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Health & F tness

Preparing for Pesach

By Aliza Beer MS, RD, CDN

P

esach is typically the most challenging yom tov, both in terms of preparation and in terms of weight gain. Historically, I see the largest weight gains in my clients occur over Pesach. This year we are dealing with extremely difficult circumstances. Schools and shuls are closed, as are most businesses, and we have been ordered to stay home. The environment in the weeks preceding Pesach has been nothing but destructive for anyone trying to lose or even maintain their weight. So how can we expect to survive Pesach somewhat intact? Adhere to the following guidelines, and you will emerge from this yom tov season and crisis iy”H healthy and no heavier than before!

• Keep it Simple: This is not the year to try 10 different new kugels/ cakes/souffles for yom tov. Sometimes the less options the better. When there are too many options, people tend to overeat because they are interested in “tasting” everything but a little bit of this and a little bit of that adds up to whole lot of something! Most of us are not having big family gatherings, so it’s OK to make a more streamlined holiday menu.

• Minimize Starchy Sides: Most kugels have a few ingredients in common, such as potato starch, sugar, eggs, and oil – none of which will help us in our weight maintenance goal.

Make the bare minimum of this genre and stick to roasted veggies, like broccoli, cauliflower, zucchini, peppers, mushrooms, and cabbage. Just spray with a cooking spray or drizzle with ol-

ive oil and salt and pepper. You can be adventurous and use other herbs and spices as well. You can also roast potatoes (sweet potatoes are the healthiest), instead of potato kugel. Cauliflower can be made into faux mashed potatoes; mix it with some sautéed onions made with very little oil.

• Manage the Matzah: Try to get whole wheat matzah if possible.

During the sedarim one should eat the required portion of matzah, but please no more than that! As it is, the amount of matzah is not small; it is also late at night and you will surely be having several courses to this meal. For the rest of Pesach try not to eat more than half of a round shmura matzah or one whole square of machine made matzah in one sitting. Matzah is thin because it did not rise, not because it’s calorie free.

• Cut Down on the Cakes: Blame it on corona. Tell your family it is too hazardous to your health to keep running to the supermarket for ingredients, and you are too stressed and busy home-schooling everyone.

Bake very little and try making some healthier options like merengues or buy low-fat diet cheesecakes that come pre-portioned.

• Don’t Come to the Sedarim Starving: Eat a small dinner consisting of a protein and salad or veggie earlier at your regular dinner time, this way you won’t be too hungry by the time you start the seder and overeat. Keep your portions small at the seder meals and try filling up on soup.

Don’t eat any starchy sides (remember

all that matzah!), and nibble on just a few bites of dessert.

• Exercise: I’ve been preaching the merits of physical activity since day one of this lockdown. During the days of yom tov, weather permitting, go for a walk each day. On the days of chol hamoed it is imperative that you either use your home equipment, download an exercise app, or walk, but something must be done every single day. The exercise will save you physically and mentally. Another great social distancing activity is bike riding.

• Plan Ahead: Just like you are planning and preparing your menus for yom tov, plan the night before what you yourself will eat the next day. You might even want to write it down in advance. When you log your day in advance, you are more likely to stick to it and less likely to deviate from it.

• Lighten Up: We have a threeday yom tov this year which means six yom tov meals. It is extraordinarily unhealthy to have six heavy meat meals in a row. My suggestion is to make Thursday and Friday lunches parve or dairy and serve primarily fish. If the family doesn’t eat fish and all six meals must be fleishig, then try to eat just the appetizer of fish and some soup, and keep these two meals lighter.

• Reduce the Red Meat: Don’t eat red meat at every fleishig meal.

Red meat has triple the amount of calories and fat than chicken! So when you consume a red meat meal you are consuming hundreds of calories more in that meal simply because you had

red meat versus chicken. Numerous studies have shown that red meat consumption increases the risk of many types of cancer. Over the eight days of the chag, I’m recommending no more than four red meat meals.

It has been a rough few weeks for everyone. Give yourself a break and stick to the basics. No one is expecting a tea room or midnight madness.

We have all learned that there is much about life that we have no control over, such as the weather, traffic, and a viral pandemic. There are some things, however, that we do have control over, and what we eat is one of them. It is up to you to decide to seize control.

We are coming into this yom tov very grateful for our health and our family. Of course you should cook and eat your delicious food, but please do so in moderation. Focus on what Pesach is really all about: a commemoration of tremendous miracles where Hashem saved us, and showed the world Who, in fact, is in charge and runs the world. We are currently living through similar circumstances, and I pray that yom tov will bring the refuah and yeshuah that we all so desperately need.

Wishing my readers and clients a chag kasher v’sameach!

Aliza Beer is a registered dietitian with a master’s degree in nutrition. She has a private practice in Cedarhurst, NY. Patients’ success has been featured on the Dr. Oz show. Aliza can be reached at alizabeer@gmail.com, and you can follow her on Instagram at @alizabeer.

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dj

!jnau raf Dr. Adam Zeitlin, Medical Director Matthew Ostreicher, Director of Operations For further information please contact Chess Rosenberg, Administrator 78-10 164TH STREET FRESH MEADOWS, NEW YORK

718.591.8300 Ext. 707 Under the VAAD Horabanim of Queens (VHQ)

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APRIL 3, 2020 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Engaging Your Children in the Pesach Seder

Can This Year Be Different?

By Dr. Jeffrey Lichtman

A

s parents and grandparents, we all look forward to the Seder each year and anticipate the opportunity to transmit our mesorah and essential Jewish values to our children and grandchildren, along with memories they will cherish forever. Somehow, what we envision is usually a far cry from the reality – sullen teenagers who’ve retreated to the couch, crying toddlers, spilled grape juice, fights over who found the Afikoman, and broken matzah everywhere. As heads of households, we often find ourselves standing alone in our kittels at an empty table, perplexed at the turn of events.

There’s still time to rewrite the script for this year. As with anything else that’s worthwhile in life, a little

planning and preparation will go a long way. There is no right way to engage children at the Seder. What’s important is to adapt each Seder to meet the needs of the particular children who will be in attendance.

The goal of transmitting heritage and history to children is lofty and large. The way to do it is to make them feel connected and positive. If they have a good experience at their own Seder, they’ll feel connected to their families and be able to listen to the loftier messages and ultimately, feel connected to Klal Yisrael.

The story of the Jews in Egypt took place thousands of years ago, and young children typically have no concept of time. How can you make it real for them? Unlike other holidays, there are lots of objects and symbols at the Seder, and our job is to show the children why this is different and how it relates to

them. Pick what speaks to you and, more importantly, select what you think will speak to your children.

Here are some concrete tips to arouse your children’s interest and capture their attention: 1. Dress up for the Seder.

If you have very young children, wearing clothing that approximates the type of garb worn in Egypt can help set the stage. Try a kaffiyeh or robe or do some online research on the exact clothes worn in that time period. Your outfit will spark questions from the children regarding why you are dressed that way and a discussion will ensue.

2. Make the Afikoman exciting. Hiding the Afikoman is a time-honored tradition in every Jewish home, but you can kick it up a notch by creating a treasure hunt with clues along the way. The clues could be related to Pesach

facts and information so they will be educational for your children. Offer rewards or treats for those who decode any of the clues.

3. Use visual aids in the form of frogs and other “makkos” toys that you find in the Judaica store or order online as you’ll need to do this year. Keep them on the table the whole time and refer to them as needed throughout the evening.

Find other dramatic and unusual objects that will engage children throughout the night.

4. Involve the important people in your family’s life. Ask grandparents what their Seder was like growing up and see if they will share memories of their own parents to give your kids a sense of history. You can also ask what freedom means to them and what message they want to share with the grandchildren. This year, when so many

grandparents will not be present at the Seder, consider calling or Zooming with them in advance to record their answers and then share them for discussion at the Seder. Or have the children ask their own questions of grandparents on the Zoom call.

5. Involve your key audience. Ask children in advance what they would like to see at the Seder, what would make the evening special for them. Ask if there are specific topics they want to discuss, portions of the haggadah they would like to focus on or games they would like to play.

6. Ignite creativity. Offer opportunities for participation beyond the intellectual. Not every child is academically gifted, but every child has a unique talent that he or she can bring to the table. Ask children to prepare something for the Seder and let them know it could be a song that reflects freedom, a painting they drew about Yetziyat Mitzrayim, a dance or even a Lego creation that

expresses the theme of Pesach.

7. Let older children lead.

They can work with younger children to produce a skit or song that will be unveiled at the Seder. There is a great opportunity to foster creativity and let our children express talents they don’t always have a chance to use in school.

8. Consider doing a mini pre-Seder for the youngest children who can’t stay up all night but who will want to share what they learned in preschool and say the Mah Nishtana.

9. Ask children in advance what the concept of freedom means to them and have them write their thoughts down and bring to the Seder. Ask them to relate it to their personal life and to the mission of the Jewish people in the world. You can go around the table at the Seder and discuss everyone’s insights.

10. Be strategic about where you seat people at the Seder. Seat adults next to the children they have

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a relationship with and let them know in advance that it is their role to encourage the child to ask questions. Adults should be tuned in to the children seated next to them, notice when they seem ready to speak, and encourage them to share their thoughts with the whole family.

You can take any or all of the above tips and incorporate into your Seder, but the most important advice is to do what you think will be fun and what will make for warm and positive memories for your family. Remember that attention span often aligns with chronological age, so a five-year-old has a five-minute attention span and so on. During the limited time that our children are focused on the Seder proceedings, our job is to fan the flames of their curiosity and not to extinguish it.

A final thought about the Seder that I wanted to share relates to the four sons mentioned in the haggadah. Chazal understood, long before

modern psychology, that children come in varying types, personalities, and abilities, and yet, they must all have a seat at the table. We have an obligation to respond to each of them with customized answers that speak to them individually, not with pat responses. As parents, we must reach out to them to come to the Seder and show them we are prepared to answer their questions, regardless of their talents. Some are geniuses, some are physically, intellectually, or emotionally disabled and some can’t read, but they should all be welcome. Each one has a place at the Seder and a way he or she can contribute to the family and to Klal Yisrael.

Here’s to your meaningful, fun, and engaging Seder!

Dr. Jeffrey Lichtman is a psychologist and chair of the Jewish Childhood Education and Special Education programs at the Touro College Graduate School of Education.

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A Fulfilled L fe

Ordered Freedom

By Rabbi Dr. Naphtali Hoff

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magine if someone called you a week before Pesach and said: “We were wondering if we could invite you to join us at our order?”

How would it sound if your spouse announced on Pesach’s first evening, “Everyone, please come to the table so that we can begin the order!”

Of the many names that we could have used to describe the festive meal that we sit down to on the first night(s) of Pesach, the appellation “seder,” or order, seems curious at best. Why did our sages attach such a nondescript designation – one that seems to focus on the sequence of the program rather than the program itself – to this special evening of recounting, learning and engaging?

Perhaps the answer is that no evening in the Jewish calendar is more “ordered” and organized than the first night of Pesach. We spend the preceding day getting everything ready, to allow us to begin the evening sequence as quickly as possible. All of the foods are laid out in an exact fashion. At night, we follow a strict routine of 15 steps, with a defined text and series of actions for us to follow.

But why must we do it this way?

Why couldn’t each person be left to his own devices to spontaneously determine what would help him best express how our forefathers were freed from bondage?

Chazal understood the power of structure and order. They realized that in order for us to appreciate what occurred in Egypt 3,300 years ago, we needed to read a rich, sequential text complete with questions, dialogue, descriptions, and expressed appreciation. They recognized that we could not properly internalize and relive the experience without much symbolism and intrigue, as well as the visual benefits that signify persecution and liberation.

We do best when we know what’s coming, when the process has been laid out for us. We can plan, ask, and respond more easily when we have a clear path to follow than if we have to conceive the model while also trying to go deeper. We process better when we can see all of the requisite symbols and make connections. While preparation for the seder can be quite challenging, the familiar order

that it offers can be most comforting.

We know what to expect and can fully devote our mental and emotional energies to the experience.

During the evening we are obligated to view ourselves as if we are personally leaving Egypt. The experience is intended to be very personal, one that allows us to escape from whatever forms of bondage are holding us back in our quest for growth.

Perhaps we can follow a similar template to that of Chazal’s in order to achieve that goal: 1. See the issue – What are your challenges and limiting beliefs? What is keeping you back from achieving more spiritually and feeling more fulfilled?

2. Paint a picture of success – What will success look like and how will you know that you have arrived?

Create a text with vivid images that details the process and outcome.

3. Engage your entire self in the process – In most cases, success will not occur by only engaging your intellect. As with the seder, you need to integrate various senses and modalities to completely own the experience.

4. Get all of the support that you can – Surround yourself with supportive others who can help encourage you and also ask the hard questions that will help you achieve clarity.

A seder is much more than an order, a plan for the evening’s activities. It’s a plan for success, based on a deep understanding of what is required to inspire us towards awareness, growth, and change. The next time that you hear the term “seder,” take a moment to appreciate the special template that we were given to go beyond the moment and achieve true freedom.

Naphtali Hoff, PsyD, is an executive coach who helps busy leaders be more productive so that they can scale profits with less stress and get home at a decent hour. For a free, no obligation consultation, please call 212.470.6139 or email nh@impactfulcoaching.com. Check out his new leadership book, “Becoming the New Boss”, on Amazon. Download his free productivity blueprint at ImpactfulCoaching.com/ Productivity-Blueprint.

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As you journey across California wine country, subtle changes in climate and soil produce Cabernet Sauvignon in a spectrum of aromas and flavors; a beautiful palette to work from. By blending the grapes of these regions, different characteristics are contrasted and complemented. In each variation, this series carefully blends Cabernet Sauvignon to showcase the combinations, creating a harmonious and complex wine.

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In The K

tchen

Salted Butter Blondies

By Naomi Nachman

I have always loved buttery desserts. It’s the creamy, rich flavor of butter that always wows me! Breakfast foods are especially challenging during the Pesach season, and I make these heavenly Salted Butter Blondies to have with my morning coffee. It is such a great way to start the day. I love using the salted Breakstone’s Butter in this recipe for an extra pop of flavor. It’s one of these recipes that is quick and easy to make and bake. I call it a one bowl wonder.

Ingredients ½ stick Breakstone’s Salted Butter, softened ¾ cup light brown sugar ½ cup white sugar 3 eggs 2 teaspoons vanilla 1 ¾ cup almond flour 1 teaspoon baking powder ½ teaspoon kosher salt 1 cup chocolate chips

Preparation Preheat the oven to 350°F. Lightly grease a 8x8 baking pan.

Using electric beaters or a whisk, mix together the butter and sugars. Slowly add the eggs and vanilla. Add the almond flour, baking powder, and salt. Mix well. Fold in the chocolate chips.

Pour the batter into the baking dish.

Bake for 40 minutes.

Cool for 15 minutes before serving.

Naomi Nachman, the owner of The Aussie Gourmet, caters weekly and Shabbat/ Yom Tov meals for families and individuals within The Five Towns and neighboring communities, with a specialty in Pesach catering. Naomi is a contributing editor to this paper and also produces and hosts her own weekly radio show on the Nachum Segal Network stream called “A Table for Two with Naomi Nachman.” Naomi gives cooking presentations for organizations and private groups throughout the New York/New Jersey Metropolitan area. In addition, Naomi has been a guest host on the QVC TV network and has been featured in cookbooks, magazines as well as other media covering topics related to cuisine preparation and personal chefs. To obtain additional recipes, join The Aussie Gourmet on Facebook or visit Naomi’s blog. Naomi can be reached through her website, www.theaussiegourmet.com or at (516) 295-9669.

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Pesach Blondies

Pesach

By Riki Schwartz I’m always looking for new Pesach baking recipes that my family can enjoy and that won’t make them feel sick after. When I got this recipe from my neighbor, I knew I’d hit the jackpot.

These blondies are light, fluffy, and have a great texture. Try it and you’ll see why we love it.

INGREDIENTS • ¾ cup oil • ¾ cup sugar • ¾ cup brown sugar • ¼ tsp salt • 3 eggs • ¾ cup ground almonds • 1 cup potato starch • 1 tsp vanilla sugar • 1 tsp baking powder • ¾ cup chocolate chips

PREPARATION Cream oil and sugar. Add eggs and mix. Add remaining ingredients.

Pour into lined 9x13-inch pan. Bake at 350°F for 40 minutes.

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Recipes INGREDIENTS Batter • 2 eggs • ¼ cup sugar • 2 TBS brown sugar • ¼ cup oil • 2 TBS coconut milk • ¾ cup applesauce • 1 tsp cinnamon • 1 tsp baking powder • 2 cups almond flour • 3 TBS tapioca starch

PREPARATION Preheat oven to 350°F.

Crumb topping • ¼ cup sugar • ¼ cup oil • ½ cup almond flour • ½ tsp cinnamon

This recipe makes 28 mini muffins. If making full-size muffins, it will yield 14 muffins. Bake for 25-30 minutes if making full-size muffins.

Whip the eggs and sugars. Add remaining wet ingredients and mix well.

Add dry ingredients and mix until uniformly incorporated. Scoop into sprayed mini muffin pan.

In a separate bowl, mix crumb ingredients together. Sprinkle over each portion of batter.

Bake 15-18 minutes. Cool completely.

Recipes reprinted from kosher.com.

Apple Cinnamon Crumb Muffins

By Esty Wolbe

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On The Lighter Si e “Say What?!”

STEVEN WRIGHT

BOB HOPE

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

It’s so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.

Borrow money from pessimists – they don’t expect it back.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.

Everyone has a photographic memory.

Some just don’t have film.

I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, “Hey, the sign says you’re open 24 hours.” He said, “Yes, but not in a row.”

I went to a restaurant that serves “breakfast at any time”. So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, “If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?”

I wrote a song, but I can’t read music so I don’t know what it is. Every once in a while I’ll be listening to the radio and I say, “I think I might have written that.”

If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, “Didn’t you see the stop sign?” I said, “Yeah, but I don’t believe everything I read.”

Following his doctor’s orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He’s leaving out the water.

You know, marriage is making a big comeback. I know personally that in Hollywood people are marrying people they never married before.

I have a wonderful make-up crew.

They’re the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.

RODNEY DANGERFIELD My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met me yet.

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. He told me to wear a brown tie.

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JERRY SEINFELD

The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews, Bottle openers. Come on, buddy, let’s go. You get past me, the guy in back of me, he’s got a spoon. Back off. I’ve got the toe clippers right here.

It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

There [are] just two things I’d need to find out everything I want to know about everyone: 1) Let me see them drive; 2) let me hear them talk about marriage … That’s going to tell me exactly your relationship to the world.

I read that the number one fear of the average person is [public] speaking … Number two was death. To me, that means that, to the average person, if you were going to be at a funeral, you would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.

I once had a leather jacket that got ruined in the rain. Why does moisture ruin leather?

Aren’t cows outside a lot of the time? When it’s raining, do cows go up to the farmhouse, “Let us in!

We’re all wearing leather! Open the door! We’re going to ruin the whole outfit here!”

GEORGE CARLIN I WAS THINKING ABOUT HOW PEOPLE SEEM TO READ THE BIBLE A WHOLE LOT MORE AS THEY GET OLDER; THEN IT DAWNED ON ME – THEY’RE CRAMMING FOR THEIR FINAL EXAM. PEOPLE WHO SAY THEY DON’T CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK ARE USUALLY DESPERATE TO HAVE PEOPLE THINK THEY DON’T CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK. HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED THAT ANYBODY DRIVING SLOWER THAN YOU IS AN IDIOT, AND ANYONE GOING FASTER THAN YOU IS A MANIAC? “I AM” IS REPORTEDLY THE SHORTEST SENTENCE IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE. COULD IT BE THAT “I DO” IS THE LONGEST SENTENCE? I’M DESPERATELY TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY KAMIKAZE PILOTS WORE HELMETS. YOU HAVE TO STAY IN SHAPE. MY MOTHER STARTED WALKING FIVE MILES A DAY WHEN SHE WAS 60. SHE’S 97 NOW, AND WE HAVE NO IDEA WHERE SHE IS.

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Political Crossfire

Trump Understands What His Critics Don’t

By Marc A. Thiessen

P

resident Trump enjoys 60% approval for his handling of the coronavirus pandemic, but that has not stopped his critics from trying to stoke public outrage at his expense.

After the president expressed hope that the anti-malaria drug chloroquine was showing signs of success as a treatment for the coronavirus, news organizations tried to blame him for the death of an Arizona man who self-medicated with fish tank solvent that contained a different form of the substance. “Man dies after taking drug touted as coronavirus treatment

by Trump,” CBS News declared. No, he didn’t. Trump never suggested anyone self-medicate with aquarium cleaner.

Now the latest source of outrage is the president’s announcement that wants to begin lifting the current economic lockdown by Easter. In a press briefing last Tuesday, Trump said his “goal is to ease the guidelines and open things up to very large sections of our country” and that “I hope we can do this by Easter,” but added that “our decision will be based on hard facts and data.”

There is absolutely nothing wrong with this. Every life matters. That is why at the start of a pandemic, the right strategy is to accept high economic risk in order to mitigate the risks to public health of a new and unknown pathogen. Trump effectively ordered a recession – asking businesses to close and workers to stay home –

to slow the spread of the virus so that public health officials could learn how it behaves, develop our testing capability and increase the production of protective gear, ventilators and hospital capacity for the hardest-hit areas, as well as the development of therapeutics to treat it.

But over time, as we get a handle on the outbreak, we need to start adjusting our decision-making to bal-

3.28 million Americans applied for unemployment benefits last week, and economists warn that gross domestic product could decline by about 30% in the second quarter as a result of the lockdown. That can’t continue indefinitely.

The emergency relief bill buys us some more time, but at enormous cost. We are borrowing $2 trillion from our children and grandchildren

Once we reach that point where we can test anyone, we can start figuring out where we can ease up on the lockdowns.

ance risk with the massive toll the lockdown is taking on the American people. While journalists can telework, millions of Americans who can’t are losing their careers and the businesses they spent a lifetime building.

A prolonged economic shutdown will lead to deaths as well, in the form of increased rates of depression, substance abuse, and suicide.

The president understands that we need a sustainable strategy to defeat the virus and that the current lockdown is unsustainable. A record

so the government can effectively replace the lost revenue and paychecks of millions of businesses and workers in the United States. We can’t do that forever. And replacing lost income does not replace the dignity of work.

No one in the White House is suggesting that we sacrifice the elderly or the vulnerable. Asked by a reporter “how many deaths are you willing to accept?” to restore growth, Trump answered “none.” Rather, the goal is to get this country to the same place as South Korea, which has effective-

ly contained the virus without quarantining tens of millions of people.

South Koreans did so by following a strategy of “Trace, Test and Treat” – using mass testing to isolate the infected while allowing healthy people to go about their lives. South Korea has been able to do this because it was able to test early. We have not because we lost six crucial weeks in ramping up testing thanks to the incompetence of the Food and Drug Administration, which refused to allow private and academic advanced labs to develop coronavirus tests. Only in March were FDA restrictions lifted and outside labs given the green light to begin testing.

It will take time to catch up, but once we reach that point where we can test anyone, we can start figuring out where we can ease up on the lockdowns. As Anthony S. Fauci said on Tuesday, “areas of the country that are not hot spots ... still have a window of significant degree of being able to contain” the virus. It may be that in these parts of the country, where there aren’t many cases, we can begin to follow the South Korean approach soon, while the hardest-hit places such as New York may need to maintain a lockdown for many months.

Will that happen by Easter? Maybe, maybe not. As Fauci says, we need to be flexible and follow the evidence.

But it has to happen eventually. (c) 2020, Washington Post Writers Group

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Political Crossfire

Who Can Lead a Post-Coronavirus America?

By David Ignatius

W

hen America wakes up from its enforced hibernation sometime later this year, will Joe Biden and the Democrats look like the team that can manage a transformed, post-coronavirus country most effectively?

The Democrats will resume campaigning with a discordant but perhaps beneficial mix of candidate and base. They have a genially reassuring, 77-year-old former vice president standing atop a party whose progressive ideas for health care and guaranteed income fit the nation’s needs better now than they perhaps seemed to even a month ago. Did the Democrats stumble into the right combination of old and new?

But here’s a caution for the Democrats about coronavirus politics. Americans want calm and competence, but they also want decisive leadership.

When people are scared (and the fear factor is just beginning) they want to know that their families will be safe.

I’ve seen that phenomenon in war-ravaged countries around the world: Frightened people seek the protection of the strongest militia in town.

The Democrats certainly can be the haven of sanity and expertise in this storm. They’ve got those soft subjects covered. But do they have the toughness to power America through a political landscape that’s very different from what it looked like on “Super Tuesday,” which already seems a lifetime ago? This strong leadership style,

the kind that can effectively manage a war economy, is what the Democrats need to sharpen during the hiatus.

Biden has coasted toward the nomination, propelled initially by the enthusiasm of African-American voters, and then most everyone else in the party, because he appeared to have the right stuff – namely a seeming ability to beat Donald Trump. But a nagging question remained as Biden disappeared into

ic threat. Any president commands loyalty in crisis; he’s the head of state, who symbolizes the country itself; we rally round as an act of solidarity.

But Trump’s current boost is reactive; it doesn’t mean that voters will reelect him as chief of our national tribe. Yes, hopefully, America does feel more like one tribe now, a country where we’re all in it together. That’s one of the Democrats’ challenges: to make

Is this garrulous white-haired gent perhaps out of sync with a hyper-anxious nation in quarantine?

lockdown in Delaware: is this garrulous white-haired gent perhaps out of sync with a hyper-anxious nation in quarantine? Or is his Irish grandpa manner just what the country needs?

Trump has often been at his worst during his near-daily coronavirus briefings. To his detractors, he looks vain, petty, and sometimes downright deceitful. But it shouldn’t be surprising that even with these embarrassing performances, Gallup polling this week recorded Trump’s highest approval rating ever, with 49% support and 60% endorsing his handling of the pandem-

sure that identity politics doesn’t get in the way of the politics of collective survival. Another test for Democrats is to make sure that their critique of Trump isn’t so reflexive and vitriolic that it turns off folks who just want to get through this mess.

Who symbolizes the values of a nation that will triumph over coronavirus? Atop our list of heroes these days are the doctors and nurses who are risking their lives to keep patients alive; they’re the truck drivers who are bringing food to our grocery stores and the checkout clerks who show up faith-

fully for work each day so that we all can stay fed.

Among our heroes, too, are the experts to whom we turn for their clear, competent guidance. When people look back on this time, I suspect they’ll remember Dr. Anthony Fauci and Dr. Deborah Birx more fondly than the man in front of them at the podium (who seemed disappointed that a political rival didn’t get sick).

The Democrats should aim to be the party that celebrates working-class heroes and scientists alike: the party of faithful nurses, firefighters, truckers and clerks; and the experts’ party, too, that promotes fact-based climate science and global public health. There’s no contradiction; we’re all in service of a larger cause.

And the Democrats should be the fairness party, as well. That’s their special advantage now. We can all see that we need a better, fairer national health system than the disorganized hospital-by-hospital free-for-all we have. People also understand, better than ever, that when crisis hits, everyone needs some income security.

Coronavirus could kill the age of populism, wrote Walter Russell Mead in the Wall Street Journal this week.

But that won’t happen unless Biden and the Democrats can show they have the guts to get the job done – that they are the smart, tough managers who can keep the country alive and well. (c) 2020, Washington Post Writers Group

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Forgotten Her es

Turning the Tide in the Middle East

By Avi Heiligman

T

owards the beginning of the summer of 1942, it seemed like the Axis Powers were unstoppable. The Japanese were making considerable gains in the Pacific and mainland Asia, and the Germans had a strong foothold in Russia. German divisions had also pushed back a Canadian assault at Dieppe, France, that seemed to demoralize Allied troops. German U-boats were conducting a devastating war against Allied shipping in the Atlantic Ocean. In addition, one of the best generals of all time was advancing steadily in North Africa and was pushing towards Cairo, Egypt. General Erwin Rommel’s Afrika Korps was nearing the Suez Canal, which threatened to stop the flow of vital war materials to the Allies. The Desert Fox, as he was nicknamed, needed to be stopped. In October 1942, an epic battle took place at El Alamein.

The commander of the British Eighth Army was General Claude Auchinleck. Even with the advantage of numbers, he was barely able to stop Rommel. The Allies had suffered recent defeats at Gazala and Mesa Matruh and were backed up further inside Egypt.

The British needed this victory badly as the morale of citizens and soldiers alike was declining rapidly. The top

brass decided to do something to raise their spirits.

British Prime Minister Winston Churchill visited Egypt in the summer of 1942 and realized that General Auchinleck was a problem. He was replaced by General Harold Alexander as the commander-in-chief of the Middle East Command and by General William Gott as the commanding officer of the Eighth Army. However, Gott was killed when his plane was attacked by a Messerschmitt and a bullet pierced his heart. His replacement was the controversial General Bernard Law Montgomery (the British loved him but the Americans that served under him did not share in the sentiment). The Eighth Army was truly an international force with troops hailing from Britain, Australia, New Zealand, India, South Africa, Poland, Greece and the Free French and had air support from the United States.

The Germans now had the advantage of defense and digging in fortified positions. The British would have to face minefields and pre-sighted killing fields in addition to the Afrika Korps and the Luftwaffe (the German air force). However, the German supply chain was overextended, and it would be very hard to get reinforcements.

The Eighth Army received reinforcements and was excited with their new commander Montgomery. They also had the advantage of knowing the German fight plan as intercepted coded signals were decoded by Ultra.

The Germans had no idea that their top-secret plans were being read by Montgomery. Rommel wasn’t present when the British attacked which created another advantage for the Allies.

His temporary replacement was General Georg Stumme while he took sick leave in Italy and Germany.

The battle was a complex strategy of several phases including three days of a standstill. Before the main battle started, the Germans tried to attack the Brits but were repulsed and were forced to defensive positions. Several German Panzer tanks were blown up by mines, and Montgomery planned for the main attack. On the night of October 23, the battle began with an Australian diversion and a heavy artillery barrage.

German minefields proved a problem, and by sunup on the 24th limited gains had been made. Monty (the affectionate nickname for the commander) gave the go-ahead for his crack troops from the New Zealand Division to attack on the northern corridor.

However, Monty ran into problems

and tried to blame them on his tank commander. The Germans, though, had far worse problems. General Stumme had gone forward to see the front lines and while under enemy fire suffered a heart attack and died. Rommel was quickly recalled from sick leave. The next two days saw the two armies in a back-and-forth battle with minor gains on either side. The Germans were down to 300 tanks, while the Brits still had 900 in working order. The air forces fought pitched aerial dogfights.

On October 26, Rommel was back in full command and took stock of his depleted forces and ordered a counterattack. However, his Panzer tanks couldn’t find a soft spot and stalled. The British attacked at night but couldn’t exactly find German positions and suffered many casualties. After several unsuccessful counterattacks by Rommel, he was forced into a defensive battle. This meant that the Germans could easily be forced out of their fortified positions and in the open. It was perfect for a British breakthrough.

On November 2, Montgomery gave the order to start Operation Supercharge. At first it met with heavy resistance but Rommel was forced to use all of his reserves. After losing over 100

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General Rommel, the Desert Fox

tanks, Rommel asked Hitler for permission to withdraw but was refused.

With less than 50 tanks remaining, he overrode the Fuehrer’s order and gave the signal to retreat. Two days later, Montgomery struck again and four Italian divisions attached to the Afrika Korps were annihilated.

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General Bernard Law Montgomery with Winston Churchill

30,000 German troops were captured in the retreat. Rommel had very few vehicles left and fewer tanks in the withdrawal. Finally, the Allies had a victory that turned the tide of the war.

Even though it would be a year and half before they could invade mainland Europe, a huge hurdle had been

overcome. Over the next few months, the Germans were forced out of North Africa altogether, and the Middle East breathed a sigh of relief.

In the next article, we will discuss the role of the Jewish soldiers and airmen who took part in the battle that saved Eretz Yisrael from being overrun

by the Nazis.

Avi Heiligman is a weekly contributor to The Jewish Home. He welcomes your comments and suggestions for future columns and can be reached at aviheiligman@ gmail.com.

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APRIL 3, 2020 | The Jewish Home

Classifieds classifieds@fivetownsjewishhome.com • text 443-929-4003

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FTMR PESACH ADVERT 4.69X6.9 v2.qxp_2020 3/31/20 10:58 AM Page 1

Wishing you & YOUR FAMILY A

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The Jewish Home | APRIL 3, 2020

Classifieds COMMERCIAL RE

HELP WANTED

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SHULAMITH EARLY CHILDHOOD is looking to hire a full time teacher assistant for the current school year.

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Competitive salary. Room for growth. resumes@yadyisroelschool.org ASSISTANT TEACHERS CAHAL is seeking part time or full time Assistant Teachers for Judaic Studies (AM) and/or General Studies (PM) for the 2019-20 school year.

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APRIL 3, 2020 | The Jewish Home

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

Your

15

Money

Dig This

By Allan Rolnick, CPA

T

he Cambridge Dictionary defines “digging your own grave” to mean doing “something that causes you harm, sometimes serious harm.” Kids who don’t do their homework, politicians who cut popular spending programs, and people who overshare on social media all dig their own grave in one way or another.

It’s not every day that someone charges us for the privilege of digging our own grave. But if DePaul Law School Professor Emily Cauble has her way, someday the IRS may ask us to do just that. She’s just published a paper in the Harvard Journal on Legislation, arguing it’s “time for a Tax Return Filing Fee.” She starts by pointing out that audits are expensive and that some returns are more expensive to audit than others. So, to encourage taxpayers to cover the costs they impose on the tax system with “complex transactions,” Congress should impose a filing fee on the ones who are hardest to audit.

Specifically, Cauble would impose a fee on corporations with more than $10 million in assets who file Schedule UTP, the “Uncertain Tax Position Statement.” This is a special form you file if you’re actually setting aside reserves to cover the bill if the IRS

shoots you down. That fee would go up with the number of uncertain positions you take, or the difficulty of auditing those positions.

At first glance, that’s not an outrageous idea. Government agencies routinely impose user fees to cover costs for specific services. Want to protect your genius invention? Pay the Patent & Trademark Office a fee ranging from $50 to $10,000. Want

tary. You don’t have to patent an invention, power up a nuclear reactor, or request a letter ruling. Taxes are mandatory, and it just doesn’t seem sporting to make you pay extra to red-flag your own return!

Here’s another problem. Taxes are famous for starting small and growing out of control. (Sort of like how kittens grow up to be cats.) Back in 1913, rates started at 1% on incomes

That’s professor-speak for “this whole paper has been a delightful 46-page academic exercise with no real-world consequences.”

to license a new nuclear reactor? Pay the Nuclear Regulatory Commission a fee of up to 33% of the cost of issuing the license. Want the IRS to rule on your position before you file a return? Pay a fee of up to $30,000 for a “letter ruling” giving you the thumbs-up.

But those fees are all volun-

over $3,000 ($78,000 in today’s money) and rose to 7% on incomes over $500,000. That $3,000 threshold meant less than 1% of Americans actually paid any tax at all. Today, of course, nearly everyone with a job pays, and you’d probably laugh if you got away with paying just 7%.

Cauble writes that if her user fee

grows, it “could be tied to the amount of certain deductions and credits (other than those disproportionately claimed by lower income individuals) that are not verifiable by third-party reporting.” That means no fees for reporting income the IRS can already verify with W2s and 1099s, or for claiming the standard deduction, or for claiming the earned income credit. But we can just picture a new Schedule UFC, “User Fee Calculation,” with separate line-items, sub-schedules, and fee amounts for each sole proprietorship, rental property, or K1 you report.

Professor Cauble says herself that “the prospects of Congress adopting such a fee in the current political environment are dim.” That’s professor-speak for “this whole paper has been a delightful 46-page academic exercise with no real-world consequence.” But in the unlikely event the IRS does start charging you to dig your own grave, count on us to help you make that shovel less expensive!

Allan J Rolnick is a CPA who has been in practice for over 30 years in Queens, NY. He welcomes your comments and can be reached at 718-896-8715 or at allanjrcpa@aol.com.

The Jewish Home | APRIL 3, 2020

109

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APRIL 3, 2020 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Life C ach

Eee-ke Out a Smile

By Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., MFT, CLC

W

hat does humor do?

When you smile and laugh, there are benefits.

“Research has shown that individuals with a deeper sense of happiness possess lower levels of inflammatory gene responses and higher levels of antiviral gene responses.”

“Happy individuals typically possess healthier blood fat profiles, lower blood pressure, and a stronger immune system.”

“Laughter, which often starts with a smile, increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, which improves your resistance to illnesses. That’s right, smiling or laughing activates and relieves your stress response.”

Sure, you could look this up on your own. And you are free to believe it or not. However, try this first: Say, “Uhhhhhhh…” How does that feel?

Now say, “Eeeeeeee!”

You tell me which feels better?!

We are going to enforce those eeeez!

It’s not always eeeezy! You’re not always feeling on an eeeeven keel.

However, whenever possible, eeeeze into a smile.

There are times in our lives when “E” eeeeludes us. And those are the times to take charge of our lips and our voice boxes.

ment! Our moment to say to ourselves: A “E” is what I O U! And even sometimes Y! Because Y (why) no matter what comes at us, ‘reaction’ is what is in our hands (or in this case our lips and voice box!).

I’m really not one to make light of a serious situation. Yet, I know staying in negative or dark thoughts

Whenever possible, eeeeze into a smile.

Sure, it’s simple to smile and laugh when things are just going absolutely great or when you are being physically tickled.

However, at times, it’s not going to come from the outside.

So, that’s our super-vowel mo-

only deepens our downfall.

We all want to do more. Since we can’t get out there and change the world, let’s see what we can do from inside. We all want to hug and be hugged by others more. Yet, we can’t. We are told to keep our hands

even from our own faces.

So, let’s use our lips to do some independent work. We can help eeeeliminate negative thoughts by eeerupting into a smile.

We don’t always get the ABCs of how life works but we can always recite an EEE. Eeeven if you don’t feel you have it in you right now. Try it.

It can help you and it can eeze the fears of others around you.

Tough times pass. Solutions you never imagined crop up. Just the way problems you didn’t forseeee came along, solutions you can’t envision will too!

So, don’t just give me “lip service” and say sure, sure, whatever you say....

For now, try changing from eat, drink, and be merry to: eaaat, eeee, and be merryeee!

Rivki Rosenwald is a certified relationship counselor, and career and life coach. She can be contacted at 917-7052004 or rivki@rosenwalds.com.

The Jewish Home | APRIL 3, 2020

The Best For Last For us, creating late harvest wine is a work of passion that keeps us in the vineyard long after others have left for the season. Leaving the clusters on the vine until just the right moment, we harvest and bring them to the winery at 45°F. The fermentation is slow and kept just above freezing to capture every essence and flavor.

The result is worth every minute.

Late harvest wine is wine made from grapes left on the vine longer than usual. Late harvest grapes are often more similar to raisins, but have been naturally dehydrated while on the vine.

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APRIL 3, 2020 | The Jewish Home

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