If President Obama really wants to hurt the Syrian government, don’t send cruise missiles. He should end over some of his economic advisers. - Jay Leno
I am not impressed by the blessings uttered by a regime that just last week threatened to destroy the State of Israel. - Prime Minister Netanyahu responding to a tweet by Iranian President Rouhani, stating: “As the sun is about to set here in #Tehran I wish all Jews, especially Iranian Jews, a blessed Rosh Hashana.”
Support for suicide bombing and other violence aimed at civilian targets is most widespread in the Palestinian territories, with 62% of Muslims saying that such attacks are often or sometimes justified in order to defend Islam from its enemies. Support is strong both in Hamas-ruled Gaza (64%) and the Fatahgoverned West Bank (60%). - Results of a recent Pew survey
A lot of people don’t know this, but I really don’t like balloons. I don’t like them because it reminds me of gunfire, and perhaps somewhere in my life, or past childhood, I must have had something to do with gunfire. It just really freaks me out being around balloons. - Oprah Winfrey
As the President attempts to ally w/ Al-Qaeda in Syria’s civil war, we must always remember who attacked us on our soil 12 years ago. - Controversial tweet by Tennessee’s Republican Lt. Governor Ron Ramsey on the 12th anniversary of 9/11
This weekend Burger King announced it will offer a new French fry burger. So finally a solution to the problem of having to reach for fries between bites of your burger. - Conan O’Brien
Generally speaking, we have made great progress in becoming an independent nation, an “island nation” if you will, and I think we want to continue down that path so that if the rest of the country falls apart, Texas can operate as a stand-alone entity with energy, food, water and roads as if we were a closed-loop system. - Texas Railroad Commissioner Barry Smitherman, who is running for Texas attorney general
A new report says 60 percent of teenagers don’t have even a basic knowledge of finances. Although in fairness, I’m 38 and I just found out this year that a 401(k) is NOT a type of marathon. - Jimmy Fallon
OBAMA: We’re goin’ to war … COUNTRY: Nah bro … OBAMA: No serious … COUNTRY: Nah bro … OBAMA: Okay no war… What a genius. - Tweet by Wolf Blitzer of CNN
Diana Nyad swam from Cuba to Florida without using a shark cage. She swam all the way from Cuba to Miami — accompanied by five Cuban pitchers. - Dave Letterman The Oneida Indian Nation wants the Washington Redskins to change the name “Redskins” because they consider it a racial slur. In a related story, the city of Jacksonville wants the NFL team, the Jaguars, to drop the name “Jacksonville” just because they stink. - Jay Leno
Either you convert to Islam, or you will be beheaded. - What Syrian Christians were told after the village of Maaloula was taken over by Syrian rebels associated with al Qaeda
I was wondering, could you describe the dilemma to being a Nobel Peace Prize winner and getting ready to attack Syria? - A Swedish reporter to President Obama I would argue when I see 400 children subjected to gas, over 1,400 civilians dying senselessly in an environment where you already have tens of thousands killed, and we have the opportunity to take some action that is meaningful even if it doesn’t solve the entire problem, may at least mitigate this particular problem, then the moral thing to do is not to stand by and do nothing.\ - A portion of President Obama’s response
I have a problem helping those people screaming [“Allahu Akhbar! Allahu Akhbar!] after a hit. - Fox News host Brian Kilmeade to Sen. John McCain Would you have a problem with an American or Christian saying “Thank G-d? Thank G-d?” That’s what they’re saying. Come on! - Senator John McCain in response
All week President Obama has been saying he will seek congressional approval for the strike but he insists he doesn’t really need it. When asked by the media if he was sending mixed messages, the president said: “Yes and no.” - Jay Leno Today is the Jewish holiday Rosh Hashanah and the first day of the NFL season. In other words, a lot of NFL players had to start the season without their lawyers today. - Conan O’Brien President Obama is pretty clever. Did you see what he is doing to get Congress to approve the attack? He told them Syrian President Assad supports Obamacare. - Jay Leno
Apple announced a much lower-priced iPhone. It’s so low budget, you can ask Siri a question only after she gets off her second job as a waitress. - Conan O’Brien
I’m going to say something outrageous. I think I understand the Senate better than any man or woman who’s ever served in there. - Vice President Joe Biden at a recent press conference about renewing the Violence Against Women Act
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My grandmother puts her feet in the sink of the bathroom at Sears to wash them in the ritual washing for prayer, wudu, because she has to pray in the store or miss the mandatory prayer time for Muslims... Respectable Sears matrons shake their heads and frown as they notice what my grandmother is doing, an affront to American porcelain, a contamination of American Standards by something foreign and unhygienic. - From an Islamic poem read over the intercom at Boston’s Concord Carlisle High School on the 12th Anniversary of Sept. 11th. (The Pledge of Allegiance was not part of the ceremony.)