Reader's Guide: 24/6 by Tiffany Shlain

Tiffany Shlain’s 24/6 Reader’s Guide

By Larry Katz

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TABLE OF CONTENTS 03 Summary of the Community Reads Project 04 About our author, Tiffany Shlain 05 Context of 24/6 06 Reviews of the Book 07 Self-guided and Group Discussion Questions & Activities

07 Reflections

10 Friday Night Dinner Conversation Starters

11 Children

13 Teens

14 Adults

16 Different Approaches / How To

16 The 3,000-Year-Old Secret to Switching Off (for a Switched-On

World)

17 How to Control a Smartphone

18 Recommended Resources

18 For Adults

19 For Children

20 Shabbat Resources

21 Books on Jews and Judaism Quoted in This Guide

21 Sponsor Credits and Acknowledgements

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SUMMARY OF THE COMMUNITY READS PROJECT

24/6 was written well before the global pandemic

than one way to achieve screen/life balance. Tiffany

rocked our lives in early 2020.

Shlain has a solution for living in our 24/7 culture

In a time when we all find ourselves longing for comfort, nostalgia, and good times spent with family and friends, the desire to connect with those who mean the most

- turning off all screens for 24 hours each week for a practice her family has come to call “Technology Shabbat”.

to us is greater than ever before. Unplugging is not only

A compelling personal story and a far-reaching

a way to slow down and show gratitude for what you

examination of the complex world we have created

do have but to honor yourself with some self-care and

and ideas of what we need to change, 24/6 is a call

off-line time. It serves to support your own physical

to rebalance ourselves and one another through this

and emotional climates. The purpose of this project is

weekly practice. Shlain’s 24/6 is very readable - part

for you to consider unplugging one day a week, and to

memoir, part summary of relevant science and

determine what unplugging could look like for you.

sociology, and part summary of related historical

Celebrities and influencers like Sir Richard Branson, Melinda Gates, and Ariana Huffington all unplug weekly.

Through reading 24/6, you will learn the strategies and history, meaning and sociology, as well as scientific reasoning behind unplugging from Internet pioneer and author, Tiffany Shlain.

Digital technology has completely changed how we view and structure time. As concerns about the effects of excessive tech use on our individual well-being, relationships, and our democracy come to a head, it’s never felt more urgent to reclaim it.

We are promoting screen/life balance. There is more

information. The book has been rated #1 in Best New High-Tech Books to Read in 2020 by Book Authority, and earned the status of one of the Great Books You Won’t Be Able to Put Down, by Real Simple. With insight, wisdom, and humor, Shlain shares her story, offers lessons learned, and provides a blueprint for DIY that fits into your lifestyle.

Important to note the National Day of Unplugging will take place one month following Tiffany’s Zoom talk to the greater Rhode Island community scheduled for February 4, 2021. The National Day of Unplugging will serve as an opportunity for everyone to follow Shlain’s lead for a day.

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ABOUT OUR AUTHOR, TIFFANY SHLAIN

Honored by Newsweek as one of the “Women Shaping the 21st Century,” Tiffany Shlain is an Emmy-nominated filmmaker and founder of the Webby Awards. Her films and work have received more than eighty awards and distinctions, including being selected for the Albert Einstein Foundation’s Genius: 100 Visions of the Future. NPR names Shlain’s UC Berkeley address on their list of best commencement speeches, and her films have premiered at top festivals, including Sundance. She lectures widely on the relationship between technology and humanity.

Find out more on TiffanyShlain.com and follow @TiffanyShlain

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CONTEXT OF 24/6

Shlain’s target audience is not the Jewish community, though this book is grounded in Jewish tradition. She takes readers on a provocative and entertaining journey through the past, present, and future of ideas about time and technology. All the while, she explains how being completely offline one day each week for ten years and continuing now with her husband and two daughters, ages 16 and 10, has completely transformed and enhanced her and her family’s lives, freeing up time, connection, and presence.

Thomas Cahill, a journalist and practicing Catholic originally known for How the Irish Saved Civilization, noted it was the Jews who invented the weekend, known as the Sabbath or Shabbat. “No ancient society before the Jews had a day of rest….a weekly restoration of prayer, study, and recreation…[A] weekly celebration of their freedom; leisure is the necessary ground of creativity.” Though Tiffany is Jewish, she is not religiously observant. She explores Cahill’s insight along with others, in particular Abraham Joshua Heschel’s idea of the Sabbath as “a palace in time” and she explores the shifting role of technology in our lives, looking at what it amplifies for us and what it amputates.

“Shabbat is needed now more than ever.

We Jews should be missionary about Shabbat.

It may be the best gift we have to offer the world.”

Arthur Green offers similar observations: “Shabbat is needed now more than ever. We Jews should be missionary about Shabbat. It may be the best gift we have to offer the world. The idea is that one day a week you say no to our new master, the computer. You turn off the modem, look away from the screen and toward those around you, exercising a talent that may become rare in this age: the cultivation of real human community. My bumper sticker reads ‘Visit people, not websites.’”

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REVIEWS

“I’m won over to a day

“Here is the answer to the greatest

with people, not screens.”

collective and personal challenge of our

—David Leonhardt, The New York Times

time: reclaiming the essential dignity of being human in a digital age.”

“An essential guide. There is nothing

—Douglas Rushkoff, author of

else like it - here is a place to turn if you

Team Human and Present Shock

feel there’s something missing in our modern world.”

—Jaron Lanier, bestselling author of Dawn of the New

“Part of a pioneering movement.”

Everything and You Are Not a Gadget

—Maria Shriver, NBC’s Today show

“In her book, 24/6, Tiffany Shlain, the

“For decades the promise of

founder of the Webby Awards, lays out a

automation—giving people more leisure

plan for surviving our ‘always on’ culture.

time—has been a distant dream. The

Taking a cue from her Jewish heritage,

reality is quite the reverse. We may well

she suggests a ‘tech Shabbat’: one day

need to relearn the art of leisure or how

a week without screens or devices...

to fill more of our time with enriched

[M]y editor asked me to try my own

personal and social relations. Tiffany

experiment of unplugging for 24 hours...

Shlain’s book is a much-needed guide

Even for a digital curmudgeon like me,

for how to start on this path.”

being ‘unproductive’ felt like a small

—Marina Gorbis, author of The Nature of the Future

revolution—and that’s after only one day of it. I can’t wait to discover what a decade of tech Shabbats feels like.”

—JM Olejarz, Harvard Business Review

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SELF-GUIDED AND GROUP DISCUSSION QUESTIONS & ACTIVITIES Reflections Consider your own behaviors as you read through 24/6

devotes the first two chapters to describing how “our

and discuss the following:

phones are designed to addict us.”

Let’s start with a brief self-assessment. Visit gobricknow.

Randi Zuckerberg (sister of Mark Zuckerberg of

com and take Tommy Sobel’s phone quiz.

Facebook fame) claims in Dot Complicated that 90%

Alternatively, there is also a Smartphone Compulsion Test to try: virtual-addiction.com/smartphone-compulsiontest

The questions include:

Do you find yourself spending more time on your cell phone or smartphone than you realize?

Do you seem to lose track of time when on your cell phone or smartphone?

Do you find yourself spending more time texting, tweeting, or emailing as opposed to talking to people in person?

Do you feel reluctant to be without your cell or smartphone, even for a short time?

In the first and seventh chapters, Tiffany mentions how people get addicted to their smartphones and devices.

of people are within three feet of their device 24 hours a day, 52% of people wake up in the middle of the night just to check their device(s).

Now ask yourself: Have you ever been addicted to something, such as nicotine, caffeine or video-gaming? Do you habitually stay up late watching sports or movies, or binging on a TV series that everyone is talking about, to the extent that your sleep suffers? How would you compare screen addiction to other addictions?

Tiffany claims, “Our 24/7 society is a firehose of media, news, emails, tweets, posts, likes, texts, pings, notifications, and buzzes.” (Page 8) “Think about how many times we get up from being where we are because of a ping that is not urgent in any way.” (page 33) Does this characterize your day?

Analyze your typical day. How quick are you to respond to every ping and buzz on your phone?

Do you check your email, texts or newsfeed just before going to bed or as soon as you awake?

On page 41, she declares, “Addicting us is the whole point.”

“Technology can be just as addictive as nicotine or heroin or any other drug; in fact, it works in some similar ways.” (Page 44) In her own book, Catherine Price

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Even at work, do the quick glances to check your phone end up derailing your productivity?

How much time do you actually spend on screens each day?

“Many of us don’t get weekends off anymore: a recent study found that 63 percent of people say their employers expect them to do some work on most weekends.” (Page 18)

How does your work time overlap with home time?

Is there a solid boundary, or do you check on your email at home?

Do you respond to work queries while at home or on vacation?

Are you ever fully off duty?

Arthur Green had a similar take: “We are living through one of the great ages of the speeding up of human consciousness. How incredibly fast the pace of our lives has become! The computer revolution, and with it the possibility of virtually instantaneous worldwide communication, has made us think about time in new terms.”

How many times a day do you check your email?

How soon do people expect you to respond to their queries and messages?

Remember when letters used to take two to three days to arrive?

“Just watch your child playing computer games and see

Shlain quotes Unitarian minister Ana Levy-Lyons that “time is the ultimate form of human wealth on this earth. Without time, all other forms of wealth are meaningless….To reclaim time is to be rich.” (Page 17)

What takes up most of your time? What do you never have time for?

Are these mainly tasks, leisure activities, creative thinking, reflection, interactions with family and friends?

How would you like to shift the use of your time?

how fast that fleeting object runs across the screen.

Could we chase anything that fast a generation ago? We worry about the effect all this may have on the human mind. What has happened to our leisure? Remember all those labor-saving devices, all those prepackaged foods and household gadgets that were supposed to save us so much time? Where has that free time gone? It seems as though it’s all been a plot just to free us up to work harder than ever, to answer messages ever faster, to squeeze more productivity out of each minute of our lives.”

Shlain contends that “24/7 technology is bad for us and bad for the culture. We rush to fill any unstructured moment we have with work and entertainment, feeds and updates, pulling out devices that distract us from bigger-picture thinking. We’re constantly reacting and responding without reflection.”

What do you do to slow down the pace?

How do you reclaim leisure time?

How does 24/7 technology affect and effect you?

How often do you pause to listen to others before you begin forming a response in your mind?

Are you often overwhelmed with the details that technology provides that you don’t look

“The arrival of digital technology has completely changed how we view time, how we structure it, and, often, how we have lost control of it. In the process we’ve created a culture where we’re almost never fully off duty.” (Page 13)

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down from 30,000 feet to see patterns and trends, not seeing the forest because of all of the trees?

and author… ‘The shunned partner is likely to experience such moments as flat-out rejection. And rejection, even in small ways, can be extremely painful. Your brain responds to it the same way it responds to physical pain.’”

“The Commandment to keep Shabbat may be carved in stone, but the way people have observed it isn’t.” (page 20) She realizes that “When we unplug on Tech Shabbat, we impose limits, rules, and boundaries.” (Page 120) Chapter 12 is about making and breaking rules. In several places in the book, Shlain discusses how she observes the Sabbath, and she consciously acknowledges that it is not the traditional Shabbat of her forebears.

Does this make her claims about her Sabbath less valid, or is this liberating to you?

Do you observe a Sabbath the same way your forebears did, or do you carry any guilt if you do not?

How might you observe a Sabbath, so that there is a real boundary between workdays and non-workdays?

Something is missing from Shlain’s book: how living 24/6 might affect one’s marriage. The June 2017 issue of Work and Family Life’s Research Review section notes that “Smartphone use is rising rapidly on the list of issues couples fight over, according to a study from Brigham Young University. It’s right up there with sex, money, kids and ‘I don’t like the way you’re driving.’ A majority of 143 women in the study reported that phones, computers and other digital devices were ‘significantly disrupting’ their family lives and relationships with spouses and partners. Excessive phone use by loved ones—which the researchers refer to as ‘technoference’—was found to lower overall wellbeing, increase anxiety and even trigger depression.

“Why would someone’s use of a hand-held device trigger such a strong response? ‘It can feel a little like being shunned,’ according to Guy Winch, PhD, psychologist

Shlain mentions that her father would not permit the telephone to interrupt any family meals.

What is your practice?

Do you interrupt family meals for pings on your smartphone?

Do you experience any “technoference?” Even simpler, do you read the newspaper (or your newsfeed) over breakfast (or after a day of work as Tiffany complains about her dad on page 85) instead of talking to your family?

How does this affect your family life?

If you have children, you may want to consider the words of a high school teacher in California: “Although I’m an enthusiastic advocate of using technology, I’m also fiercely protective of my time with my family. I have two small children who deserve my time, attention, and energy in the evenings. I don’t want them to feel they’re competing with devices for my attention.

“So I’ve made a habit of unplugging from the time I get home to the time my kids are in bed. On weekday evenings between 5:00 and 8:30pm, I close my computer and put my phone down with the volume off.

I don’t check social media, e-mail, or text messages during that window. It’s too easy to get sucked in. Instead, I make dinner, help my kids with their homework, read with them on the couch, and listen to their stories about school. It’s a relief to take a break from technology.” [Educational Leadership, May 2016, The Techy Teacher column] Shlain has made films about character strengths, or virtues—The Science of Character and The Making of a Mensch. You can guess which one is directed at a Jewish audience and which is not. She believes that living 24/6 helps develop one’s character. “A lot of what 24/6 living entails is self-control and establishing a habit 9

or a practice….We’re developing character strengths as

adaptability. These are exactly the skills we develop by

well as practical skills.” She sees Tech Shabbat as an

living a 24/6 life. On Saturdays, when we detach from

opportunity for self-improvement and asks, “So what do

the screens, machines, and the enormous primal-urge

you want to work on?” (pages 54-55)

network, we not only strengthen skills that will become

She mentions impatience as one of her struggles, but she also discusses hobbies that she doesn’t have time for the rest of the week.

increasingly valuable in an automated age, we’re also better able to see, and feel, the personal and emotional changes that come from being online and on screens so much.” These are mental characteristics we all desire.

If you had the time, what would you work on? Is it reading, practicing the ukulele, yoga,

While it’s unknown if she observes a day to unplug, pop

practicing patience or gratitude?

pastors) told Cosmopolitan.com (cosmopolitan.com/

star and new mother, Katy Perry (born to Pentecostal entertainment/celebs/a57808/katy-perry-wants-you-to-

Shlain is a dedicated to journaling and is very concerned

give-your-phone-a-break), “Speaking from someone who

about the future of the Web. Some of the latter chapters

has a lot of social media spotlight, I feel like social

are devoted to these interests, which she interweaves

media is very narcissistic and displays a life that isn’t

with her 24/6 lifestyle. She explains how silence and

really real,” She went on to say “I wish there was a thing

creativity can be central not only to one’s observance

like Shabbat that wasn’t particularly religious-based,

of Tech Shabbat but also to a healthy approach to life

that was kind of a worldwide day where we’re not on

itself. Some, such as Catherine Price, call some of these

our phones — like a movement. I just think something

ideas Screen/Life Balance. Randi Zuckerberg says that

like this would be really great for our minds, especially

she is bemused by those who viewed her emphasis

because kids today — if they weren’t born in the 80s —

on life balance as an innovative idea. “People were like

don’t even know what a life without internet is like. And I

‘Wow, new concept.’ No, Shabbat.” (JTA 4/6/16)

think it’s going to be really difficult for our focus and our

In one of her last arguments, Shlain talks about memory and other brain skills. She argues on pages 148-150

attention spans moving forward. So I’d love if the world implemented an actual day of real rest.”

that “taking a day off from all screens every week

To deem Shlain’s (and Perry’s) argument valid, you may

actually does affect memory in many positive ways…A

have to try a 24/6 lifestyle for yourself. Below (in the

recent study confirmed that we remember things less

teen and adult sections) are the observations of a few

well when we use screens to document them. On page

tech-savvy people who have tried it, as well as ideas on

163, she states that “the skills that machines don’t

how to get started:

have: curiosity, creativity, empathy, critical thinking,

Friday Night Dinner Conversation Starters For Tech Shabbat observers, Friday night dinner is

regardless of what we’re doing, on Friday night, we take

often the major event beginning the unplugging.

a minute to just acknowledge one another,” she says, “to

There are different approaches to Friday night dinner

acknowledge our children, to acknowledge our family,

conversations. Mila Kunis, the actress, proclaims, “I love

say I love you, apologize for all the dumb shit that we

the idea of — regardless of where we are in the world,

did, and move on….Nobody’s gonna wanna talk. My 10

boy’s probably going to want to play video games, my

What is something terrific that happened this week?

What is your favorite Jewish (or Chinese, or Middle-Eastern) food?

If you could have any superpower, what would it be?

What are some of your favorite family traditions?

What is your favorite thing to do with your family?

Share your favorite book. Why do you enjoy it?

If you had a million dollars to give away, what kind of organization would you give it to?

companionship. The Shabbat meals are a typical

What makes someone a good friend?

example. The Friday night meal in a home which

What did you do this week to help someone?

girl’s gonna shun me, but on Friday night, we’re all gonna sit down, and we’re going to look each other in the eye, and say I love you, and [ask] what did you do this week, just reconnect for a minute. Like, that’s the long haul of it.” [On the July 22, 2018 episode of Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard, quoted in Kveller, August 1, 2018.]

Tiffany mentions that a big part of her Technology Shabbat is inviting people over for Friday night dinner.

Even in the era before smartphones, families had to find time for each other. A few decades ago, Prager and Telushkin wrote, “Those who observe Shabbat invariably do so with family and/or friends.

The Shabbat laws, by prohibiting technological companionship, compel us to seek out human

observes the Shabbat is a lengthy one at which all the participants sing and speak for hours on end. Unlike

If you tire of such questions, you could try what my kids

the rest of the week, no one has another appointment

enjoyed — take the questions from games like Jeopardy

to run to at the end of the meal. If the talk is stopped

and Trivial Pursuit and see who can answer them at the

to watch a basketball game, or to go to a movie, this

dinner table. These questions often lead to pretty solid

means that basketball and movies are more significant

dinner discussions as well.

than family discussion and Judaism.”

Some families (including mine) read and discuss age-

Even if you are just eating with your family, you can have

appropriate stories connected to the weekly portion of

great discussions. To inspire conversation, consider

the Torah. As education director of a synagogue, some

these discussion starters. You could put each question

years I sent home weekly one-pagers, summarizing

on a separate card, giving one to each person and

the portion, with family discussion questions. Story

re-assigning them in other weeks.

discussions are a great way to share your values with

If you could invite anyone in the world to your home for dinner, who would it be?

your children, especially when moral dilemmas are illustrated by the stories. Of course you don’t need the Torah to find stories with moral dilemmas.

Children In Chapter 7 (on addiction), Shlain notes that “so many

be following suit. (Makes you think of the drug dealers’

technology pioneers, like Steve Jobs and Bill Gates,

rule of never getting high on their own supply.)” You

strictly limited their kids’ screen use. Younger tech

may want to read Melinda Gates: I spent my career in

titans, who’ve just started having kids, already seem to

technology. I wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids.

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(see Resource section for the URL) Discover’s May 2020 issue observes, “The average child younger than 2 spends around 40 minutes a day looking at screens, sparking a recommendation from The American Academy of Pediatrics that kids under 18 months avoid screens altogether, though video

sets. As long as I was not imposing my ideas, they loved it when I joined them on the floor to help. Some kids love when their parents help make their bedrooms into “forts” (as my brother and I used to do as kids). Parents can be more involved by organizing indoor and outdoor scavenger hunts.

chats with relatives are acceptable. Pediatricians are

Consider what some of today’s influencers do, as

concerned about poor sleep and stunted language skills.

cited by Tiffany: Amy Emmerich, Refinery29 President

MRI scans show that screen time can even change the

and Chief Context Officer, wrote that for her first Tech

structure of the brain. The article goes on to discuss

Shabbat with young children, “LEGOs and Play-Doh were

video-gaming (which does have some positive benefits)

the star toys for time (five hours) and imagination. We

and smartphone stress. Chapter 10 of 24/6 goes more

made a ton of Play-Doh food and opened a restaurant,

into depth on all of this.

creating menus, and eating and being served in the

Near the end of that chapter (Page 110), Shlain asserts

restaurant.”

that “Technology and sugar are two things I feel our

Film producer and writer Jenn Lee Smith and her

culture audaciously pours into our kids without enough

partner, Lund Smith, the Chief Operations Officer of WSJ

limits. There are so many other things we don’t have

Properties, have older children: “Saturday morning was

control over. But those two, we have at least some.” She

spent playing tennis and Ping-Pong, followed by a review

urges going against the norm, even for teenagers.

of schoolwork for the week and quiet reading time.

However, this is not a new problem as pointed out by this Peanuts cartoon.

What can a parent do? What can you add to Peppermint Patty’s list? What activities would bring joy to you and to them?

Only after answering these questions in some detail, look at pages 185 through 187, where ideas for age 5 and under and for ages 6 to 12 are listed, with ideas for teens and older on the following pages.

When they were young, my kids would spend hours setting up integrated farms, roadways and wooden train

Then lunch with family, then our nine-year-old daughter, Devyn, had two basketball games.”

Shlain adds, “Our youngest, Blooma, who doesn’t remember life before Tech Shabbat, has loved the day from the beginning. At age nine, she told us it was her favorite day because ‘I get to spend more time with my family. We can do arts and crafts, swim, dance, and more. So many kids don’t realize how fun it can be until they start.’” (Page 108) Next, think about the age at which you give your child a smartphone. Shlain deals with this on pages 108-114.

She openly admits that her youngest was the last in 12

her peer group to receive a smartphone. Would you be

book that became an animated television series from

PJ Library, which sends free, developmentallyappropriate Jewish children’s books and music to families across the world every month. We know that something magical happens when parents sit down together to read with their children. PJ Library shares Jewish stories that can help your family talk together about values and traditions that are important to you. Suitable books for newborns

Universal Kids, about a tech-savvy girl named Dot, who

through 9-years-old.

able to deal with this as the author did? She notes that parents have now organized to support each other.

There are group such as Wait Until 8th (WaitUntil8th.org) and ScreenSense (ScreenSense.org).

Randi Zuckerberg, former director of market development and spokesperson for Facebook, wrote a

learns to unplug. Both are titled Dot. (including the dot).

Free resources to keep in mind: Reading is very popular activity on a Tech Shabbat. If you are raising Jewish kids and would like to build a library of Jewish books for them, for FREE, consider joining either:

PJ Our Way, which is for children ages 9-12.

It is kid-driven - they choose their own books, creating a totally tailored experience based on their own interests and reading level. In the Rhode Island area, contact Lyndsey Ursillo: LUrsillo@JewishAllianceRI.org to register for PJ Library.

Teens When he was a teenager, one of my sons would often

circumstance” since Tiffany set the rules for the family,

meet friends at the Dwares JCC to play basketball on

you may want to consider what other teens think. Using

Shabbat afternoons. Apparently, that habit really started

Catherine Price’s book, ninth graders “broke up” with

at Temple Emanu-El. During Kiddush lunch one year, he

their phones for a 24-hour “trial separation.” Through this

would disappear with a few others. They were shooting

link, you may find out what some of them thought of the

baskets in the synagogue’s/day school’s gym. For a

experience.

couple of preceding years, I had noticed that young adults gathered in the synagogue’s vestry to play games, such as The Settlers of Catan. More recently, prepandemic, some younger children and parents would meet in the same room Shabbat afternoons for cards and board games.

Shlain lists activities for teens though some of those listed for adults may also be of interest. She

padlet.com/annie_matthews/tyobhvyw576pogbs?utm_ source=Educator+Toolkit&utm_campaign=6a3a4fe164

For example: “I just felt better throughout the day and like I was enjoying each moment and not under the control of an inanimate object.”

shares some of her eldest daughter’s observations

“One thing I learned that I can take away from the

about growing up with Tech Shabbat for most of

‘breakup’ is that phones are useful when you have a

her life. However, should you think she is a “special

purpose to be using them, but they are even better 13

at distracting you from that purpose. Once you have

“Since I didn’t have my phone, I wasn’t distracted by

acknowledged that, you can bring yourself back to what

anything so I spontaneously cleaned my room, learned

you want to get done, not what your phone wants you to

how to play new songs on the guitar, and decided

do.”

to bake more with my mom and my sisters. On the

“The best part of the separation was the mindfulness I felt throughout my day. It felt like I was in an advertisement where the actor is enjoying life and being ‘in the moment.’ When I went back on to social media, I never realized how many things were being thrown at

weekend, it made me think about all of the other things I have missed out on because I have been on my phone so much.”

What is there for a teenager to do?

On page 179, Shlain asks, “WHAT BRINGS YOU JOY?

me...”

Think about all the (screen-free) activities you enjoy

“I saw myself actually being a lot nicer to my family. Whenever I have my phone I just become very secluded so I don’t spend time with them and I always seem to be in a mood.”

doing that you just don’t do enough. (It’s okay if doing nothing is at the top of that list.) Answer this question before looking at the list that Tiffany composed on pages 179-180 and 188-189.

Adults Sir Richard Branson, founder of Virgin blogged: “It’s

Besides the examples from her family life, on page 179

all too easy to miss out on the important moments in

Shlain asks, “WHAT BRINGS YOU JOY? Think about all

life because you’re too busy staring at your phone. So

the (screen-free) activities you enjoy doing that you just

let’s all put down the phone and ignore social media

don’t do enough. (It’s okay if doing nothing is at the top

for a whole 24 hours….There’s such a huge value in

of that list.)” Answer this question before looking at the

disconnecting from digital devices and reconnecting

lists on pages 179-180 and 189-191.

with ourselves and our loved ones. But there’s also a bigger message that we can take home from this experience – that we can all be more present in our own lives. I really believe that being in the moment is the key to happiness and success – and being constantly

Roy Hessel (founder and CEO, EyeBuyDirect, and CEO, Clearly.ca and Coastal.com) says, “We invest our time in conversations, storytelling, reading, board games, and hosting family and friends.”

glued to your phone can have a big impact on your

Tommy Sobel has written 200 things to do without your

relationships. I always try and focus my attention on

phone. It contains amazing outdoor adventures and

whoever I’m with. When I’m in a meeting I listen and take

low-key indoor activities.

notes and when I’m at the dinner table I catch up with my family. While I love technology and social media, a text or a tweet can never replace the real value of conversation.”

People usually like to have the support of others when trying out new ideas and practices. One way to do this is through groups like One Table onetable.org, whose website lists Friday night dinners around the country

So, in addition to conversation, what is there for an

that are open to everyone. Many synagogues offer

adult to do on such a day of rest?

Friday night dinners, or at least can find a dinner host for 14

those who ask. When I lived in Dallas, my congregation

Demand is growing for a few days’ worth of ‘digital

put different people on call each week to host strangers

Shabbat’ in our lives. That’s certainly the case at events

who might just show up at the last minute. It felt very

that were becoming more popular pre-pandemic among

odd when the “stranger” assigned to us one Shabbat

twenty-somethings, such as:

turned out to have been one of my wife’s teachers a couple of decades earlier, as well as over 1,300 miles

Burning Man, the annual creative festival in Nevada (with many local versions around the world) that’s defined by the emptiness of the desert.

Restival, a retreat which promises “JOMO - the Joy of Missing Out, in a land where nature envelopes you in a vortex of magnetic energy and purifies your system.”

away.

Another way to experience the lifestyle is through adult camping. It turns out that over one million grown-ups (mostly young singles) go to US adult summer camps annually, and they’re going for more than the nostalgic joys of childhood.

What drives the adult camp market today is the growing interest in disengaging from smartphones, and the desire to participate in events outside of work. It’s got to the point nowadays where offline can be pitched as a luxury. Being unplugged is not only a release, it’s therapy.

We know these camps and festivals may not be for everyone, but they do point to the desire to unplug and establish face-to-face human contact, even prepandemic.

Here are a few examples:

Camp No Counselors runs eleven camps in North America, offers getaways where you ‘put away your phone, gather your friends, and free yourself from the stresses of adult life’.

Trybal Gatherings (trybalgatherings.com) calls itself the leading provider of Jewish camp experiences for your adults and their friends.

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DIFFERENT APPROACHES / HOW TO

There are a few approaches to

your membership, there are individual,

unplugging and reclaiming some time,

family and community memberships

relaxation, and creativity.

available that also come with access

It always helps to know that you are trying something for the first time when many others are doing so, as well. As a

to premium content. Sign up at nationaldayofunplugging.com/become-amember.

way to get started with your unplugging

Much of the latter part of Tiffany’s book

practice, we encourage you to sign up for

is all about how to unplug, particularly

National Day of Unplugging membership.

pages 180 to 183. If you want a quick

Basic membership is free. If you’d like to

guide, consider:

receive an unplugging goodies kit with

The 3,000-Year-Old Secret to Switching Off (for a Switched-On World) Below are seven simple ideas for having your own “day of rest” this weekend. You need not take on all of these suggestions – in fact, here’s hoping you have other ideas on how to best create your day of rest. something to signal the beginning of your 1. Do Day of Rest. Some kind of act that will transition you from the intensity of your week to the peacefulness of the Day of Rest. Light a candle, burn some incense. Have a glass of wine. Toast one another. Ask each family member to name one thing they are thankful for.

down: Put away your smart phone for the 2. Power day. Stay away from computers and tablets. You CAN have a day without phone calls, e-mails and fax. media: Try to stay off line completely. Stop 3. Avoid obsessively watching and listening to TV and radio. Take a break from being a news junkie and monitoring every change in the stock market. It’ll be there tomorrow. differently: Try not to use cars and mass 4. Travel transit. Go for a walk or ride your bike (don’t forget your helmet). Take the scenic route and enjoy getting there. Experience nature.

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Do some non-work, non-household5. Read: finance reading. Read a book of philosophy or a great work of literature. Think about the kind of reading you did before you were working, before laptops and smart phones, before you had the responsibilities you have today, and go back and do that kind of reading on your Day of Rest.

6.

Spend quality time with friends and family. The best way to have quality time is to first have quantity time. The Day of Rest will give you this

quantity time so you can transform it into quality time. Have a meal together at home. Have a singa-long. Form a book club or a discussion group that meets on your Day of Rest. quietly: Take some time to sit silently and 7. Sit think. Reflect on what is going on in your life. Look and listen to what’s around you. Mediate, engage in introspection or just sit and enjoy the silence.

- David Kalb, JTA, posted 11/1/12

How to Control a Smartphone Tiffany and others talk about how they catch up on and

beyond that title and includes apps for taking control of

have more restful sleep when doing 24/6. However, if

social media and setting limits on screen time, as well

your smartphone is nearby, it can still be a problem.

as setting smartphone controls to enable better sleep.

The October-November, 2020 edition of ION Magazine,

Catherine Price also lists similar apps in her book, as

included in many newspapers, includes an article How

mentioned on the next page.

Do I?‌ Program your phone for better SLEEP. It goes

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RECOMMENDED RESOURCES For Adults Tiffany Shlain’s 24/6: Giving up Screens One Day a Week

Your Phone. She has a different approach to spending

to Get More Time, Creativity, and Connection is available

less time on the screen. Her website has a 3-day

locally for a discounted price at Books on the Square.

phone break-up challenge, and she promises that “no

On page 219, Tiffany lists many online resources, but states that a complete

phones will be harmed or discarded” in the process. The book itself contains a 4-week program, beginning with a

listing may be found at the website she developed to accompany her book, 24SixLife.com. Her related filmography

begins at page 221. You may also find her at TiffanyShlain.com and LetItRipple.org.

Technology Triage, followed by Changing Your Habits, Reclaiming Your Brain and Your New Relationship [with your phone]. Catherine recently published a “companion workbook” to help you

We especially recommend

“take back your life.” Her websites are

NationalDayOfUnplugging.com, our

phonebreakup.com and screenlifebalance.

partner in this project, which will hold its

com and catherineprice.com.

annual continent-wide program on March 5–6, 2021. It also sponsors a Global Day of Unplugging each August.

More information about events being held around the continent are available at their website, as well as suggestions of what you may do as an individual. You may also obtain Cell Phone Sleeping Bags from them.

If you want to get fancy and spend more than a few dollars, you can order Arianna Huffington’s phone bed.

In addition to a blanket, the bed frame allows you to charge several devices at once.

Tommy Sobel has written 200 things to do without your

In November 2018, the

phone. He seems to be more oriented to the iGen and

Jewish Alliance

Millennial generations. Check out gobricknow.com and

hosted Catherine

take his phone quiz. I wonder how you will score! He

Price, a science

can text you events and ideas every week.

journalist and author of How to Break Up With

Price and Shlain deal with some of the science about screen/phone addiction. Though their books came out in the past couple of years, Discover magazine’s May, 18

2020 issue is more recent. It contains articles such as

Two recent popular screen-based warnings against

This Is Your Brian on Tech and Growing

screen-based culture are Screenagers

Up Wired. The sidebars are Taming Our

(great for teens and their parents) and

Tech, Tribal Tech and A Pediatrician’s

The Social Dilemma. The latter can be

Guide to Screen Time.

found on Netflix.

Parents should read a Washington Post

If you think all of these resources are

article, Melinda Gates: I spent my career

great, but they are far too tame to deal

in technology. I wasn’t prepared for its

with your hard-core affliction, you may

effect on my kids. washingtonpost.com/

want to turn to Dr. David Greenfield and

news/parenting/wp/2017/08/24/melinda-

the Center for Internet and Technology

gates-i-spent-my-career-in-technology-i-

Addiction (CITA). He has treated patients

wasnt-prepared-for-its-effect-on-my-kids

from every corner of the US regarding

Randi Zuckerberg wrote two books that are especially relevant. For adults--Dot Complicated: How to Make

issues of video gaming, video porn, and tech dependency and abuse. virtual-addiction.com

It Through Life Online in One Piece by Transworld Publishing Limited. For children—see below.

For Children Dot., a book by Randi Zuckerberg, (Harper Collins), and a

As mentioned above, PJ Library and PJ Our Way are

television series by Universal Kids.

great resources for monthly books of Jewish content.

Good Night, iPad, by Ann Droyd. You may purchase the book or google a few read-aloud versions, based on Good Night, Moon

Please contact Lyndsey Ursillo at the Jewish Alliance for free subscriptions. lursillo@jewishallianceri.org or 401.421.4111.

You have the final word—you will decide if you will

decline in happiness” from 1988 to the present. Whether

make any changes in your life. You can follow Tiffany’s

it is our capitalist society or socialism, we would still be

idea of a Technology Shabbat or unplug in some other

in the same state of unhappiness. The tech revolution

way, such as with Catherine Price’s or Tommy Sobel’s

was supposed to provide “everything you want at the

method. Or you can keep to your status quo.

click of a mouse.” However, consumerism, government

Above, I mention how Arthur Green shortened the whole idea into “Visit people, not websites.” I just found another slogan. Arthur Brooks (The Atlantic, October 22, 2020) writes that though even the lowest economic quintile of people in our country have more income and consumer goods, no one (upper-, middle- or lower-class) feels any happier. There has been “a long-term gradual

and technology will “never satisfy.” He believes that the world encourages us to “love things and use people.”

Instead, he advises that we “put this on your fridge and try to live by it: Love people; use things.” I believe that is the true message of those who unplug, and of Shabbat itself. However, they don’t believe that putting a slogan on the fridge is sufficient. You must make it an active part of your life, and unplugging is the key to doing that.

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Shabbat Resources Shabbat is about Peace: within ourselves, with others,

with nature, with God. For more information, the sources of the excerpts above can be helpful. We recommend:

A Day Apart: Shabbat at Home—A Step-by-Step Guidebook with Blessings and Songs, Rituals and Reflections, by Noam Sachs Zion and Shawn Fields-Meyer, Shalom Hartman Institute

The Gift of Rest: Rediscovering the Beauty of the Sabbath, by [former Senator] Joseph Lieberman, Simon & Schuster

Gina Goldstein’s Unofficial Guide to Keeping It All Together is a detailed guide to an Orthodox observance of Shabbat from The Shabbos Project

The Jewish Sabbath: A Renewed Encounter, by Pinchas Peli, Schocken

The Kveller Shabbat Guide: How busy families can find meaning (and a bit of sanity) on the day of rest, by Elissa Strauss, newly published by the premier Jewish parenting site Kveller.com

One Table (onetable.org) has a liberal guide in its Resources area.

The Sabbath, Its Meaning for Modern Man, by Abraham Joshua Heschel, Farrar Straus Giroux

Shabbat: The Family Guide to Preparing for and Celebrating the Sabbat, by Ron Wolfson, Jewish Lights Publishing

A Shabbat Reader: Universe of Cosmic Joy, ed. by Dov Peretz Elkins, UAHC Press

short videos about Shabbat and how to celebrate Shabbat.

myjewishlearning.com/category/celebrate/shabbat

The Sabbath Kit is an old collection of four short “trigger” films about Shabbat from Gesher Productions. Though made pre-internet, it deals with the demands of technology and being busy on Saturday instead of spending time with family.

Available from the Jewish Alliance on DVD.

Shabbat Shalom, Grover is a video in the Shalom Sesame series for children that may be found on YouTube. A longer version is available on DVD from the Jewish Alliance.

Fans of Simon and Garfunkel may appreciate a cover by the Maccabeats of The Sound of Silence, juxtaposed by a woman spending all of her time on the web. jewinthecity.com/shabbat

www.theshabbosproject.org.

bimbam.com/judaism-101/shabbat has several

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BOOKS ON JEWS AND JUDAISM QUOTED IN THIS GUIDE

Thomas Cahill, The Gifts of the

Arthur Green, Judaism’s 10

Dennis Prager and Joseph

Jews: How a Tribe of Desert

Best Ideas: A Brief Guide

Telushkin, The Nine

Nomads Changed the Way

for Seekers, Jewish Lights

Questions People Ask About

Everyone Thinks and Feels,

Publishing

Judaism, Simon & Schuster

Nan A. Talese/Anchor Books

SPONSOR CREDITS & ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS In an effort to ensure this community read be far-reaching and effective for those who participated, we would like to thank those who sponsored and partnered for this project in addition to those who helped us along the way:

The Board of Rabbis of Greater Rhode Island

Reading with Robin

Books on the Square--To

robinkall.com/reading-with-robin

purchase a copy of the book and support your local book store, please visit booksq.com/jewish-alliancebook-series. Use code:

Jewish Book Council

BOOKSERIES to receive a

Unplug Collaborative

small discount!

LAYOUT BY ALEX FOSTER

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