Tiffany Shlain’s 24/6 Reader’s Guide By Larry Katz
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TABLE OF CONTENTS 03 Summary of the Community Reads Project 04 About our author, Tiffany Shlain 05 Context of 24/6 06 Reviews of the Book 07 Self-guided and Group Discussion Questions & Activities
07 Reflections
10 Friday Night Dinner Conversation Starters
11 Children
13 Teens
14 Adults
16 Different Approaches / How To
16 The 3,000-Year-Old Secret to Switching Off (for a Switched-On World)
17 How to Control a Smartphone
18 Recommended Resources
18 For Adults
19 For Children
20 Shabbat Resources
21 Books on Jews and Judaism Quoted in This Guide
21 Sponsor Credits and Acknowledgements
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SUMMARY OF THE COMMUNITY READS PROJECT
24/6 was written well before the global pandemic
than one way to achieve screen/life balance. Tiffany
rocked our lives in early 2020.
Shlain has a solution for living in our 24/7 culture
In a time when we all find ourselves longing for comfort, nostalgia, and good times spent with family and friends, the desire to connect with those who mean the most
- turning off all screens for 24 hours each week for a practice her family has come to call “Technology Shabbat”.
to us is greater than ever before. Unplugging is not only
A compelling personal story and a far-reaching
a way to slow down and show gratitude for what you
examination of the complex world we have created
do have but to honor yourself with some self-care and
and ideas of what we need to change, 24/6 is a call
off-line time. It serves to support your own physical
to rebalance ourselves and one another through this
and emotional climates. The purpose of this project is
weekly practice. Shlain’s 24/6 is very readable - part
for you to consider unplugging one day a week, and to
memoir, part summary of relevant science and
determine what unplugging could look like for you.
sociology, and part summary of related historical
Celebrities and influencers like Sir Richard Branson, Melinda Gates, and Ariana Huffington all unplug weekly. Through reading 24/6, you will learn the strategies and history, meaning and sociology, as well as scientific reasoning behind unplugging from Internet pioneer and author, Tiffany Shlain. Digital technology has completely changed how we view and structure time. As concerns about the effects of excessive tech use on our individual well-being, relationships, and our democracy come to a head, it’s never felt more urgent to reclaim it. We are promoting screen/life balance. There is more
information. The book has been rated #1 in Best New High-Tech Books to Read in 2020 by Book Authority, and earned the status of one of the Great Books You Won’t Be Able to Put Down, by Real Simple. With insight, wisdom, and humor, Shlain shares her story, offers lessons learned, and provides a blueprint for DIY that fits into your lifestyle. Important to note the National Day of Unplugging will take place one month following Tiffany’s Zoom talk to the greater Rhode Island community scheduled for February 4, 2021. The National Day of Unplugging will serve as an opportunity for everyone to follow Shlain’s lead for a day.
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ABOUT OUR AUTHOR, TIFFANY SHLAIN
Honored by Newsweek as one of the “Women Shaping the 21st Century,” Tiffany Shlain is an Emmy-nominated filmmaker and founder of the Webby Awards. Her films and work have received more than eighty awards and distinctions, including being selected for the Albert Einstein Foundation’s Genius: 100 Visions of the Future. NPR names Shlain’s UC Berkeley address on their list of best commencement speeches, and her films have premiered at top festivals, including Sundance. She lectures widely on the relationship between technology and humanity.
Find out more on TiffanyShlain.com and follow @TiffanyShlain
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CONTEXT OF 24/6
Shlain’s target audience is not the Jewish community, though this book is grounded in Jewish tradition. She takes readers on a provocative and entertaining journey through the past, present, and future of ideas about time and technology. All the while, she explains how being completely offline one day each week for ten years and continuing now with her husband and two daughters, ages 16 and 10, has completely transformed and enhanced her and her family’s lives, freeing up time, connection, and presence.
Thomas Cahill, a journalist and practicing Catholic originally known for How the Irish Saved Civilization, noted it was the Jews who invented the weekend, known as the Sabbath or Shabbat. “No ancient society before the Jews had a day of rest….a weekly restoration of prayer, study, and recreation…[A] weekly celebration of their freedom; leisure is the necessary ground of creativity.” Though Tiffany is Jewish, she is not religiously observant. She explores Cahill’s insight along with others, in particular Abraham Joshua Heschel’s idea of the Sabbath as “a palace in time” and she explores the shifting role of technology in our lives, looking at what it amplifies for us and what it amputates.
“Shabbat is needed now more than ever. We Jews should be missionary about Shabbat. It may be the best gift we have to offer the world.” Arthur Green offers similar observations: “Shabbat is needed now more than ever. We Jews should be missionary about Shabbat. It may be the best gift we have to offer the world. The idea is that one day a week you say no to our new master, the computer. You turn off the modem, look away from the screen and toward those around you, exercising a talent that may become rare in this age: the cultivation of real human community. My bumper sticker reads ‘Visit people, not websites.’”
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REVIEWS
“I’m won over to a day
“Here is the answer to the greatest
with people, not screens.”
collective and personal challenge of our
—David Leonhardt, The New York Times
time: reclaiming the essential dignity of being human in a digital age.”
“An essential guide. There is nothing
—Douglas Rushkoff, author of
else like it - here is a place to turn if you
Team Human and Present Shock
feel there’s something missing in our modern world.” —Jaron Lanier, bestselling author of Dawn of the New
“Part of a pioneering movement.”
Everything and You Are Not a Gadget
—Maria Shriver, NBC’s Today show
“In her book, 24/6, Tiffany Shlain, the
“For decades the promise of
founder of the Webby Awards, lays out a
automation—giving people more leisure
plan for surviving our ‘always on’ culture.
time—has been a distant dream. The
Taking a cue from her Jewish heritage,
reality is quite the reverse. We may well
she suggests a ‘tech Shabbat’: one day
need to relearn the art of leisure or how
a week without screens or devices...
to fill more of our time with enriched
[M]y editor asked me to try my own
personal and social relations. Tiffany
experiment of unplugging for 24 hours...
Shlain’s book is a much-needed guide
Even for a digital curmudgeon like me,
for how to start on this path.”
being ‘unproductive’ felt like a small
—Marina Gorbis, author of The Nature of the Future
revolution—and that’s after only one day of it. I can’t wait to discover what a decade of tech Shabbats feels like.” —JM Olejarz, Harvard Business Review
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SELF-GUIDED AND GROUP DISCUSSION QUESTIONS & ACTIVITIES Reflections Consider your own behaviors as you read through 24/6
devotes the first two chapters to describing how “our
and discuss the following:
phones are designed to addict us.”
Let’s start with a brief self-assessment. Visit gobricknow.
Randi Zuckerberg (sister of Mark Zuckerberg of
com and take Tommy Sobel’s phone quiz.
Facebook fame) claims in Dot Complicated that 90%
Alternatively, there is also a Smartphone Compulsion Test to try: virtual-addiction.com/smartphone-compulsiontest
The questions include:
Do you find yourself spending more time on your cell phone or smartphone than you realize?
Do you seem to lose track of time when on your cell phone or smartphone?
Do you find yourself spending more time texting, tweeting, or emailing as opposed to talking to people in person?
Do you feel reluctant to be without your cell or smartphone, even for a short time?
In the first and seventh chapters, Tiffany mentions how people get addicted to their smartphones and devices.
of people are within three feet of their device 24 hours a day, 52% of people wake up in the middle of the night just to check their device(s). Now ask yourself: Have you ever been addicted to something, such as nicotine, caffeine or video-gaming? Do you habitually stay up late watching sports or movies, or binging on a TV series that everyone is talking about, to the extent that your sleep suffers? How would you compare screen addiction to other addictions? Tiffany claims, “Our 24/7 society is a firehose of media, news, emails, tweets, posts, likes, texts, pings, notifications, and buzzes.” (Page 8) “Think about how many times we get up from being where we are because of a ping that is not urgent in any way.” (page 33) Does this characterize your day?
Analyze your typical day. How quick are you to respond to every ping and buzz on your phone?
Do you check your email, texts or newsfeed just before going to bed or as soon as you awake?
On page 41, she declares, “Addicting us is the whole point.” “Technology can be just as addictive as nicotine or heroin or any other drug; in fact, it works in some similar ways.” (Page 44) In her own book, Catherine Price
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Even at work, do the quick glances to check your phone end up derailing your productivity? How much time do you actually spend on screens each day?
“Many of us don’t get weekends off anymore: a recent study found that 63 percent of people say their employers expect them to do some work on most weekends.” (Page 18)
How does your work time overlap with home time?
Is there a solid boundary, or do you check on your email at home?
Do you respond to work queries while at home or on vacation?
Are you ever fully off duty?
Arthur Green had a similar take: “We are living through one of the great ages of the speeding up of human consciousness. How incredibly fast the pace of our lives has become! The computer revolution, and with it the possibility of virtually instantaneous worldwide communication, has made us think about time in new terms.”
How many times a day do you check your email?
How soon do people expect you to respond to their queries and messages?
Remember when letters used to take two to three days to arrive?
“Just watch your child playing computer games and see
Shlain quotes Unitarian minister Ana Levy-Lyons that “time is the ultimate form of human wealth on this earth. Without time, all other forms of wealth are meaningless….To reclaim time is to be rich.” (Page 17)
What takes up most of your time? What do you never have time for?
Are these mainly tasks, leisure activities, creative thinking, reflection, interactions with family and friends?
How would you like to shift the use of your time?
how fast that fleeting object runs across the screen. Could we chase anything that fast a generation ago? We worry about the effect all this may have on the human mind. What has happened to our leisure? Remember all those labor-saving devices, all those prepackaged foods and household gadgets that were supposed to save us so much time? Where has that free time gone? It seems as though it’s all been a plot just to free us up to work harder than ever, to answer messages ever faster, to squeeze more productivity out of each minute of our lives.”
Shlain contends that “24/7 technology is bad for us and bad for the culture. We rush to fill any unstructured moment we have with work and entertainment, feeds and updates, pulling out devices that distract us from bigger-picture thinking. We’re constantly reacting and responding without reflection.”
What do you do to slow down the pace?
How do you reclaim leisure time?
How does 24/7 technology affect and effect you?
How often do you pause to listen to others before you begin forming a response in your mind?
Are you often overwhelmed with the details that technology provides that you don’t look
“The arrival of digital technology has completely changed how we view time, how we structure it, and, often, how we have lost control of it. In the process we’ve created a culture where we’re almost never fully off duty.” (Page 13)
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down from 30,000 feet to see patterns and trends, not seeing the forest because of all of the trees?
and author… ‘The shunned partner is likely to experience such moments as flat-out rejection. And rejection, even in small ways, can be extremely painful. Your brain responds to it the same way it responds to physical pain.’”
“The Commandment to keep Shabbat may be carved in stone, but the way people have observed it isn’t.” (page 20) She realizes that “When we unplug on Tech Shabbat, we impose limits, rules, and boundaries.” (Page 120) Chapter 12 is about making and breaking rules. In several places in the book, Shlain discusses how she observes the Sabbath, and she consciously acknowledges that it is not the traditional Shabbat of her forebears.
Does this make her claims about her Sabbath less valid, or is this liberating to you?
Do you observe a Sabbath the same way your forebears did, or do you carry any guilt if you do not?
How might you observe a Sabbath, so that there is a real boundary between workdays and non-workdays?
Something is missing from Shlain’s book: how living 24/6 might affect one’s marriage. The June 2017 issue of Work and Family Life’s Research Review section notes that “Smartphone use is rising rapidly on the list of issues couples fight over, according to a study from Brigham Young University. It’s right up there with sex, money, kids and ‘I don’t like the way you’re driving.’ A majority of 143 women in the study reported that phones, computers and other digital devices were ‘significantly disrupting’ their family lives and relationships with spouses and partners. Excessive phone use by loved ones—which the researchers refer to as ‘technoference’—was found to lower overall wellbeing, increase anxiety and even trigger depression. “Why would someone’s use of a hand-held device trigger such a strong response? ‘It can feel a little like being shunned,’ according to Guy Winch, PhD, psychologist
Shlain mentions that her father would not permit the telephone to interrupt any family meals.
What is your practice?
Do you interrupt family meals for pings on your smartphone?
Do you experience any “technoference?” Even simpler, do you read the newspaper (or your newsfeed) over breakfast (or after a day of work as Tiffany complains about her dad on page 85) instead of talking to your family? How does this affect your family life?
If you have children, you may want to consider the words of a high school teacher in California: “Although I’m an enthusiastic advocate of using technology, I’m also fiercely protective of my time with my family. I have two small children who deserve my time, attention, and energy in the evenings. I don’t want them to feel they’re competing with devices for my attention. “So I’ve made a habit of unplugging from the time I get home to the time my kids are in bed. On weekday evenings between 5:00 and 8:30pm, I close my computer and put my phone down with the volume off. I don’t check social media, e-mail, or text messages during that window. It’s too easy to get sucked in. Instead, I make dinner, help my kids with their homework, read with them on the couch, and listen to their stories about school. It’s a relief to take a break from technology.” [Educational Leadership, May 2016, The Techy Teacher column] Shlain has made films about character strengths, or virtues—The Science of Character and The Making of a Mensch. You can guess which one is directed at a Jewish audience and which is not. She believes that living 24/6 helps develop one’s character. “A lot of what 24/6 living entails is self-control and establishing a habit 9
or a practice….We’re developing character strengths as
adaptability. These are exactly the skills we develop by
well as practical skills.” She sees Tech Shabbat as an
living a 24/6 life. On Saturdays, when we detach from
opportunity for self-improvement and asks, “So what do
the screens, machines, and the enormous primal-urge
you want to work on?” (pages 54-55)
network, we not only strengthen skills that will become
She mentions impatience as one of her struggles, but she also discusses hobbies that she doesn’t have time for the rest of the week.
increasingly valuable in an automated age, we’re also better able to see, and feel, the personal and emotional changes that come from being online and on screens so much.” These are mental characteristics we all desire.
If you had the time, what would you work on? Is it reading, practicing the ukulele, yoga,
While it’s unknown if she observes a day to unplug, pop
practicing patience or gratitude?
pastors) told Cosmopolitan.com (cosmopolitan.com/
star and new mother, Katy Perry (born to Pentecostal entertainment/celebs/a57808/katy-perry-wants-you-to-
Shlain is a dedicated to journaling and is very concerned
give-your-phone-a-break), “Speaking from someone who
about the future of the Web. Some of the latter chapters
has a lot of social media spotlight, I feel like social
are devoted to these interests, which she interweaves
media is very narcissistic and displays a life that isn’t
with her 24/6 lifestyle. She explains how silence and
really real,” She went on to say “I wish there was a thing
creativity can be central not only to one’s observance
like Shabbat that wasn’t particularly religious-based,
of Tech Shabbat but also to a healthy approach to life
that was kind of a worldwide day where we’re not on
itself. Some, such as Catherine Price, call some of these
our phones — like a movement. I just think something
ideas Screen/Life Balance. Randi Zuckerberg says that
like this would be really great for our minds, especially
she is bemused by those who viewed her emphasis
because kids today — if they weren’t born in the 80s —
on life balance as an innovative idea. “People were like
don’t even know what a life without internet is like. And I
‘Wow, new concept.’ No, Shabbat.” (JTA 4/6/16)
think it’s going to be really difficult for our focus and our
In one of her last arguments, Shlain talks about memory and other brain skills. She argues on pages 148-150
attention spans moving forward. So I’d love if the world implemented an actual day of real rest.”
that “taking a day off from all screens every week
To deem Shlain’s (and Perry’s) argument valid, you may
actually does affect memory in many positive ways…A
have to try a 24/6 lifestyle for yourself. Below (in the
recent study confirmed that we remember things less
teen and adult sections) are the observations of a few
well when we use screens to document them. On page
tech-savvy people who have tried it, as well as ideas on
163, she states that “the skills that machines don’t
how to get started:
have: curiosity, creativity, empathy, critical thinking,
Friday Night Dinner Conversation Starters For Tech Shabbat observers, Friday night dinner is
regardless of what we’re doing, on Friday night, we take
often the major event beginning the unplugging.
a minute to just acknowledge one another,” she says, “to
There are different approaches to Friday night dinner
acknowledge our children, to acknowledge our family,
conversations. Mila Kunis, the actress, proclaims, “I love
say I love you, apologize for all the dumb shit that we
the idea of — regardless of where we are in the world,
did, and move on….Nobody’s gonna wanna talk. My 10
boy’s probably going to want to play video games, my
What is something terrific that happened this week?
What is your favorite Jewish (or Chinese, or Middle-Eastern) food?
If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
What are some of your favorite family traditions?
What is your favorite thing to do with your family?
Share your favorite book. Why do you enjoy it?
If you had a million dollars to give away, what kind of organization would you give it to?
companionship. The Shabbat meals are a typical
What makes someone a good friend?
example. The Friday night meal in a home which
What did you do this week to help someone?
girl’s gonna shun me, but on Friday night, we’re all gonna sit down, and we’re going to look each other in the eye, and say I love you, and [ask] what did you do this week, just reconnect for a minute. Like, that’s the long haul of it.” [On the July 22, 2018 episode of Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard, quoted in Kveller, August 1, 2018.] Tiffany mentions that a big part of her Technology Shabbat is inviting people over for Friday night dinner. Even in the era before smartphones, families had to find time for each other. A few decades ago, Prager and Telushkin wrote, “Those who observe Shabbat invariably do so with family and/or friends. The Shabbat laws, by prohibiting technological companionship, compel us to seek out human
observes the Shabbat is a lengthy one at which all the participants sing and speak for hours on end. Unlike
If you tire of such questions, you could try what my kids
the rest of the week, no one has another appointment
enjoyed — take the questions from games like Jeopardy
to run to at the end of the meal. If the talk is stopped
and Trivial Pursuit and see who can answer them at the
to watch a basketball game, or to go to a movie, this
dinner table. These questions often lead to pretty solid
means that basketball and movies are more significant
dinner discussions as well.
than family discussion and Judaism.”
Some families (including mine) read and discuss age-
Even if you are just eating with your family, you can have
appropriate stories connected to the weekly portion of
great discussions. To inspire conversation, consider
the Torah. As education director of a synagogue, some
these discussion starters. You could put each question
years I sent home weekly one-pagers, summarizing
on a separate card, giving one to each person and
the portion, with family discussion questions. Story
re-assigning them in other weeks.
discussions are a great way to share your values with
If you could invite anyone in the world to your home for dinner, who would it be?
your children, especially when moral dilemmas are illustrated by the stories. Of course you don’t need the Torah to find stories with moral dilemmas.
Children In Chapter 7 (on addiction), Shlain notes that “so many
be following suit. (Makes you think of the drug dealers’
technology pioneers, like Steve Jobs and Bill Gates,
rule of never getting high on their own supply.)” You
strictly limited their kids’ screen use. Younger tech
may want to read Melinda Gates: I spent my career in
titans, who’ve just started having kids, already seem to
technology. I wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids. 11
(see Resource section for the URL) Discover’s May 2020 issue observes, “The average child younger than 2 spends around 40 minutes a day looking at screens, sparking a recommendation from The American Academy of Pediatrics that kids under 18 months avoid screens altogether, though video
sets. As long as I was not imposing my ideas, they loved it when I joined them on the floor to help. Some kids love when their parents help make their bedrooms into “forts” (as my brother and I used to do as kids). Parents can be more involved by organizing indoor and outdoor scavenger hunts.
chats with relatives are acceptable. Pediatricians are
Consider what some of today’s influencers do, as
concerned about poor sleep and stunted language skills.
cited by Tiffany: Amy Emmerich, Refinery29 President
MRI scans show that screen time can even change the
and Chief Context Officer, wrote that for her first Tech
structure of the brain. The article goes on to discuss
Shabbat with young children, “LEGOs and Play-Doh were
video-gaming (which does have some positive benefits)
the star toys for time (five hours) and imagination. We
and smartphone stress. Chapter 10 of 24/6 goes more
made a ton of Play-Doh food and opened a restaurant,
into depth on all of this.
creating menus, and eating and being served in the
Near the end of that chapter (Page 110), Shlain asserts
restaurant.”
that “Technology and sugar are two things I feel our
Film producer and writer Jenn Lee Smith and her
culture audaciously pours into our kids without enough
partner, Lund Smith, the Chief Operations Officer of WSJ
limits. There are so many other things we don’t have
Properties, have older children: “Saturday morning was
control over. But those two, we have at least some.” She
spent playing tennis and Ping-Pong, followed by a review
urges going against the norm, even for teenagers.
of schoolwork for the week and quiet reading time.
However, this is not a new problem as pointed out by this Peanuts cartoon. What can a parent do? What can you add to Peppermint Patty’s list? What activities would bring joy to you and to them? Only after answering these questions in some detail, look at pages 185 through 187, where ideas for age 5 and under and for ages 6 to 12 are listed, with ideas for teens and older on the following pages. When they were young, my kids would spend hours setting up integrated farms, roadways and wooden train
Then lunch with family, then our nine-year-old daughter, Devyn, had two basketball games.” Shlain adds, “Our youngest, Blooma, who doesn’t remember life before Tech Shabbat, has loved the day from the beginning. At age nine, she told us it was her favorite day because ‘I get to spend more time with my family. We can do arts and crafts, swim, dance, and more. So many kids don’t realize how fun it can be until they start.’” (Page 108) Next, think about the age at which you give your child a smartphone. Shlain deals with this on pages 108-114. She openly admits that her youngest was the last in 12
her peer group to receive a smartphone. Would you be
book that became an animated television series from
PJ Library, which sends free, developmentallyappropriate Jewish children’s books and music to families across the world every month. We know that something magical happens when parents sit down together to read with their children. PJ Library shares Jewish stories that can help your family talk together about values and traditions that are important to you. Suitable books for newborns
Universal Kids, about a tech-savvy girl named Dot, who
through 9-years-old.
able to deal with this as the author did? She notes that parents have now organized to support each other. There are group such as Wait Until 8th (WaitUntil8th.org) and ScreenSense (ScreenSense.org). Randi Zuckerberg, former director of market development and spokesperson for Facebook, wrote a
learns to unplug. Both are titled Dot. (including the dot).
Free resources to keep in mind: Reading is very popular activity on a Tech Shabbat. If you are raising Jewish kids and would like to build a library of Jewish books for them, for FREE, consider joining either:
PJ Our Way, which is for children ages 9-12. It is kid-driven - they choose their own books, creating a totally tailored experience based on their own interests and reading level. In the Rhode Island area, contact Lyndsey Ursillo: LUrsillo@JewishAllianceRI.org to register for PJ Library.
Teens When he was a teenager, one of my sons would often
circumstance” since Tiffany set the rules for the family,
meet friends at the Dwares JCC to play basketball on
you may want to consider what other teens think. Using
Shabbat afternoons. Apparently, that habit really started
Catherine Price’s book, ninth graders “broke up” with
at Temple Emanu-El. During Kiddush lunch one year, he
their phones for a 24-hour “trial separation.” Through this
would disappear with a few others. They were shooting
link, you may find out what some of them thought of the
baskets in the synagogue’s/day school’s gym. For a
experience.
couple of preceding years, I had noticed that young adults gathered in the synagogue’s vestry to play games, such as The Settlers of Catan. More recently, prepandemic, some younger children and parents would meet in the same room Shabbat afternoons for cards and board games. Shlain lists activities for teens though some of those listed for adults may also be of interest. She
padlet.com/annie_matthews/tyobhvyw576pogbs?utm_ source=Educator+Toolkit&utm_campaign=6a3a4fe164
For example: “I just felt better throughout the day and like I was enjoying each moment and not under the control of an inanimate object.”
shares some of her eldest daughter’s observations
“One thing I learned that I can take away from the
about growing up with Tech Shabbat for most of
‘breakup’ is that phones are useful when you have a
her life. However, should you think she is a “special
purpose to be using them, but they are even better 13
at distracting you from that purpose. Once you have
“Since I didn’t have my phone, I wasn’t distracted by
acknowledged that, you can bring yourself back to what
anything so I spontaneously cleaned my room, learned
you want to get done, not what your phone wants you to
how to play new songs on the guitar, and decided
do.”
to bake more with my mom and my sisters. On the
“The best part of the separation was the mindfulness I felt throughout my day. It felt like I was in an advertisement where the actor is enjoying life and being ‘in the moment.’ When I went back on to social media, I never realized how many things were being thrown at
weekend, it made me think about all of the other things I have missed out on because I have been on my phone so much.” What is there for a teenager to do? On page 179, Shlain asks, “WHAT BRINGS YOU JOY?
me...”
Think about all the (screen-free) activities you enjoy
“I saw myself actually being a lot nicer to my family. Whenever I have my phone I just become very secluded so I don’t spend time with them and I always seem to be in a mood.”
doing that you just don’t do enough. (It’s okay if doing nothing is at the top of that list.) Answer this question before looking at the list that Tiffany composed on pages 179-180 and 188-189.
Adults Sir Richard Branson, founder of Virgin blogged: “It’s
Besides the examples from her family life, on page 179
all too easy to miss out on the important moments in
Shlain asks, “WHAT BRINGS YOU JOY? Think about all
life because you’re too busy staring at your phone. So
the (screen-free) activities you enjoy doing that you just
let’s all put down the phone and ignore social media
don’t do enough. (It’s okay if doing nothing is at the top
for a whole 24 hours….There’s such a huge value in
of that list.)” Answer this question before looking at the
disconnecting from digital devices and reconnecting
lists on pages 179-180 and 189-191.
with ourselves and our loved ones. But there’s also a bigger message that we can take home from this experience – that we can all be more present in our own lives. I really believe that being in the moment is the key to happiness and success – and being constantly
Roy Hessel (founder and CEO, EyeBuyDirect, and CEO, Clearly.ca and Coastal.com) says, “We invest our time in conversations, storytelling, reading, board games, and hosting family and friends.”
glued to your phone can have a big impact on your
Tommy Sobel has written 200 things to do without your
relationships. I always try and focus my attention on
phone. It contains amazing outdoor adventures and
whoever I’m with. When I’m in a meeting I listen and take
low-key indoor activities.
notes and when I’m at the dinner table I catch up with my family. While I love technology and social media, a text or a tweet can never replace the real value of conversation.”
People usually like to have the support of others when trying out new ideas and practices. One way to do this is through groups like One Table onetable.org, whose website lists Friday night dinners around the country
So, in addition to conversation, what is there for an
that are open to everyone. Many synagogues offer
adult to do on such a day of rest?
Friday night dinners, or at least can find a dinner host for 14
those who ask. When I lived in Dallas, my congregation
Demand is growing for a few days’ worth of ‘digital
put different people on call each week to host strangers
Shabbat’ in our lives. That’s certainly the case at events
who might just show up at the last minute. It felt very
that were becoming more popular pre-pandemic among
odd when the “stranger” assigned to us one Shabbat
twenty-somethings, such as:
turned out to have been one of my wife’s teachers a couple of decades earlier, as well as over 1,300 miles
Burning Man, the annual creative festival in Nevada (with many local versions around the world) that’s defined by the emptiness of the desert.
Restival, a retreat which promises “JOMO - the Joy of Missing Out, in a land where nature envelopes you in a vortex of magnetic energy and purifies your system.”
away. Another way to experience the lifestyle is through adult camping. It turns out that over one million grown-ups (mostly young singles) go to US adult summer camps annually, and they’re going for more than the nostalgic joys of childhood. What drives the adult camp market today is the growing interest in disengaging from smartphones, and the desire to participate in events outside of work. It’s got to the point nowadays where offline can be pitched as a luxury. Being unplugged is not only a release, it’s therapy.
We know these camps and festivals may not be for everyone, but they do point to the desire to unplug and establish face-to-face human contact, even prepandemic.
Here are a few examples:
Camp No Counselors runs eleven camps in North America, offers getaways where you ‘put away your phone, gather your friends, and free yourself from the stresses of adult life’.
Trybal Gatherings (trybalgatherings.com) calls itself the leading provider of Jewish camp experiences for your adults and their friends.
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DIFFERENT APPROACHES / HOW TO
There are a few approaches to
your membership, there are individual,
unplugging and reclaiming some time,
family and community memberships
relaxation, and creativity.
available that also come with access
It always helps to know that you are trying something for the first time when many others are doing so, as well. As a
to premium content. Sign up at nationaldayofunplugging.com/become-amember.
way to get started with your unplugging
Much of the latter part of Tiffany’s book
practice, we encourage you to sign up for
is all about how to unplug, particularly
National Day of Unplugging membership.
pages 180 to 183. If you want a quick
Basic membership is free. If you’d like to
guide, consider:
receive an unplugging goodies kit with
The 3,000-Year-Old Secret to Switching Off (for a Switched-On World) Below are seven simple ideas for having your own “day of rest” this weekend. You need not take on all of these suggestions – in fact, here’s hoping you have other ideas on how to best create your day of rest. something to signal the beginning of your 1. Do Day of Rest. Some kind of act that will transition you from the intensity of your week to the peacefulness of the Day of Rest. Light a candle, burn some incense. Have a glass of wine. Toast one another. Ask each family member to name one thing they are thankful for.
down: Put away your smart phone for the 2. Power day. Stay away from computers and tablets. You CAN have a day without phone calls, e-mails and fax. media: Try to stay off line completely. Stop 3. Avoid obsessively watching and listening to TV and radio. Take a break from being a news junkie and monitoring every change in the stock market. It’ll be there tomorrow. differently: Try not to use cars and mass 4. Travel transit. Go for a walk or ride your bike (don’t forget your helmet). Take the scenic route and enjoy getting there. Experience nature. 16
Do some non-work, non-household5. Read: finance reading. Read a book of philosophy or a great work of literature. Think about the kind of reading you did before you were working, before laptops and smart phones, before you had the responsibilities you have today, and go back and do that kind of reading on your Day of Rest.
6.
Spend quality time with friends and family. The best way to have quality time is to first have quantity time. The Day of Rest will give you this
quantity time so you can transform it into quality time. Have a meal together at home. Have a singa-long. Form a book club or a discussion group that meets on your Day of Rest. quietly: Take some time to sit silently and 7. Sit think. Reflect on what is going on in your life. Look and listen to what’s around you. Mediate, engage in introspection or just sit and enjoy the silence. - David Kalb, JTA, posted 11/1/12
How to Control a Smartphone Tiffany and others talk about how they catch up on and
beyond that title and includes apps for taking control of
have more restful sleep when doing 24/6. However, if
social media and setting limits on screen time, as well
your smartphone is nearby, it can still be a problem.
as setting smartphone controls to enable better sleep.
The October-November, 2020 edition of ION Magazine,
Catherine Price also lists similar apps in her book, as
included in many newspapers, includes an article How
mentioned on the next page.
Do I?‌ Program your phone for better SLEEP. It goes
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RECOMMENDED RESOURCES For Adults Tiffany Shlain’s 24/6: Giving up Screens One Day a Week
Your Phone. She has a different approach to spending
to Get More Time, Creativity, and Connection is available
less time on the screen. Her website has a 3-day
locally for a discounted price at Books on the Square.
phone break-up challenge, and she promises that “no
On page 219, Tiffany lists many online resources, but states that a complete
phones will be harmed or discarded” in the process. The book itself contains a 4-week program, beginning with a
listing may be found at the website she developed to accompany her book, 24SixLife.com. Her related filmography
begins at page 221. You may also find her at TiffanyShlain.com and LetItRipple.org.
Technology Triage, followed by Changing Your Habits, Reclaiming Your Brain and Your New Relationship [with your phone]. Catherine recently published a “companion workbook” to help you
We especially recommend
“take back your life.” Her websites are
NationalDayOfUnplugging.com, our
phonebreakup.com and screenlifebalance.
partner in this project, which will hold its
com and catherineprice.com.
annual continent-wide program on March 5–6, 2021. It also sponsors a Global Day of Unplugging each August. More information about events being held around the continent are available at their website, as well as suggestions of what you may do as an individual. You may also obtain Cell Phone Sleeping Bags from them. If you want to get fancy and spend more than a few dollars, you can order Arianna Huffington’s phone bed. In addition to a blanket, the bed frame allows you to charge several devices at once.
Tommy Sobel has written 200 things to do without your
In November 2018, the
phone. He seems to be more oriented to the iGen and
Jewish Alliance
Millennial generations. Check out gobricknow.com and
hosted Catherine
take his phone quiz. I wonder how you will score! He
Price, a science
can text you events and ideas every week.
journalist and author of How to Break Up With
Price and Shlain deal with some of the science about screen/phone addiction. Though their books came out in the past couple of years, Discover magazine’s May, 18
2020 issue is more recent. It contains articles such as
Two recent popular screen-based warnings against
This Is Your Brian on Tech and Growing
screen-based culture are Screenagers
Up Wired. The sidebars are Taming Our
(great for teens and their parents) and
Tech, Tribal Tech and A Pediatrician’s
The Social Dilemma. The latter can be
Guide to Screen Time.
found on Netflix.
Parents should read a Washington Post
If you think all of these resources are
article, Melinda Gates: I spent my career
great, but they are far too tame to deal
in technology. I wasn’t prepared for its
with your hard-core affliction, you may
effect on my kids. washingtonpost.com/
want to turn to Dr. David Greenfield and
news/parenting/wp/2017/08/24/melinda-
the Center for Internet and Technology
gates-i-spent-my-career-in-technology-i-
Addiction (CITA). He has treated patients
wasnt-prepared-for-its-effect-on-my-kids
from every corner of the US regarding
Randi Zuckerberg wrote two books that are especially relevant. For adults--Dot Complicated: How to Make
issues of video gaming, video porn, and tech dependency and abuse. virtual-addiction.com
It Through Life Online in One Piece by Transworld Publishing Limited. For children—see below.
For Children Dot., a book by Randi Zuckerberg, (Harper Collins), and a
As mentioned above, PJ Library and PJ Our Way are
television series by Universal Kids.
great resources for monthly books of Jewish content.
Good Night, iPad, by Ann Droyd. You may purchase the book or google a few read-aloud versions, based on Good Night, Moon
Please contact Lyndsey Ursillo at the Jewish Alliance for free subscriptions. lursillo@jewishallianceri.org or 401.421.4111.
You have the final word—you will decide if you will
decline in happiness” from 1988 to the present. Whether
make any changes in your life. You can follow Tiffany’s
it is our capitalist society or socialism, we would still be
idea of a Technology Shabbat or unplug in some other
in the same state of unhappiness. The tech revolution
way, such as with Catherine Price’s or Tommy Sobel’s
was supposed to provide “everything you want at the
method. Or you can keep to your status quo.
click of a mouse.” However, consumerism, government
Above, I mention how Arthur Green shortened the whole idea into “Visit people, not websites.” I just found another slogan. Arthur Brooks (The Atlantic, October 22, 2020) writes that though even the lowest economic quintile of people in our country have more income and consumer goods, no one (upper-, middle- or lower-class) feels any happier. There has been “a long-term gradual
and technology will “never satisfy.” He believes that the world encourages us to “love things and use people.” Instead, he advises that we “put this on your fridge and try to live by it: Love people; use things.” I believe that is the true message of those who unplug, and of Shabbat itself. However, they don’t believe that putting a slogan on the fridge is sufficient. You must make it an active part of your life, and unplugging is the key to doing that. 19
Shabbat Resources Shabbat is about Peace: within ourselves, with others,
with nature, with God. For more information, the sources of the excerpts above can be helpful. We recommend:
A Day Apart: Shabbat at Home—A Step-by-Step Guidebook with Blessings and Songs, Rituals and Reflections, by Noam Sachs Zion and Shawn Fields-Meyer, Shalom Hartman Institute
The Gift of Rest: Rediscovering the Beauty of the Sabbath, by [former Senator] Joseph Lieberman, Simon & Schuster
Gina Goldstein’s Unofficial Guide to Keeping It All Together is a detailed guide to an Orthodox observance of Shabbat from The Shabbos Project
The Jewish Sabbath: A Renewed Encounter, by Pinchas Peli, Schocken
The Kveller Shabbat Guide: How busy families can find meaning (and a bit of sanity) on the day of rest, by Elissa Strauss, newly published by the premier Jewish parenting site Kveller.com
One Table (onetable.org) has a liberal guide in its Resources area.
The Sabbath, Its Meaning for Modern Man, by Abraham Joshua Heschel, Farrar Straus Giroux
Shabbat: The Family Guide to Preparing for and Celebrating the Sabbat, by Ron Wolfson, Jewish Lights Publishing
A Shabbat Reader: Universe of Cosmic Joy, ed. by Dov Peretz Elkins, UAHC Press
short videos about Shabbat and how to celebrate Shabbat.
myjewishlearning.com/category/celebrate/shabbat
The Sabbath Kit is an old collection of four short “trigger” films about Shabbat from Gesher Productions. Though made pre-internet, it deals with the demands of technology and being busy on Saturday instead of spending time with family. Available from the Jewish Alliance on DVD.
Shabbat Shalom, Grover is a video in the Shalom Sesame series for children that may be found on YouTube. A longer version is available on DVD from the Jewish Alliance.
Fans of Simon and Garfunkel may appreciate a cover by the Maccabeats of The Sound of Silence, juxtaposed by a woman spending all of her time on the web. jewinthecity.com/shabbat
www.theshabbosproject.org.
bimbam.com/judaism-101/shabbat has several
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BOOKS ON JEWS AND JUDAISM QUOTED IN THIS GUIDE
Thomas Cahill, The Gifts of the
Arthur Green, Judaism’s 10
Dennis Prager and Joseph
Jews: How a Tribe of Desert
Best Ideas: A Brief Guide
Telushkin, The Nine
Nomads Changed the Way
for Seekers, Jewish Lights
Questions People Ask About
Everyone Thinks and Feels,
Publishing
Judaism, Simon & Schuster
Nan A. Talese/Anchor Books
SPONSOR CREDITS & ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS In an effort to ensure this community read be far-reaching and effective for those who participated, we would like to thank those who sponsored and partnered for this project in addition to those who helped us along the way:
The Board of Rabbis of Greater Rhode Island
Reading with Robin
Books on the Square--To
robinkall.com/reading-with-robin
purchase a copy of the book and support your local book store, please visit booksq.com/jewish-alliancebook-series. Use code:
Jewish Book Council
BOOKSERIES to receive a
Unplug Collaborative
small discount!
LAYOUT BY ALEX FOSTER
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