Leadership Mastery and Moxie in 31 Days

LEADERSHIP mastery and moxie in 31 days A Guide and Journal for Career Women

Debra K. Mooney, PhD

Introduction Over the past two decades, I have had the pleasure of supporting women leaders. As a clinical psychologist, I have experience as a c-level university administrator, coach, and mentor–I also have an entrepreneurial spirit.

More recently, I have offered a number of workshops and seminars geared towards reducing barriers to women’s career advancement. This journal is an outgrowth of these activities.

So why focus on women’s leadership? As women, I know the need for–and importance of–women-specific professional development for three main reasons: 1. There are gender differences in the workplace, and women fare less well than men on most standards.

2. Organizations with greater gender diversity perform better than those with less.

3. Women do not have the same access to informal networking as men do.

In this guide and journal, you will learn to overcome many of the barriers to women’s career advancement. Each factor, or day of the month, has three sections–facts, personalization, and action. That is, the first section is a bit of information to “get the pump primed.” The second is a personal reflection on your experience. And the third is an action–because leadership is ultimately shaped by what we do.

You’ll notice that this journal is not a “how to” book–there are many of those. Rather, you will be going deeper into the process and experience of leading. My philosophy is that you know yourself best, and with a path for guidance you will acquire insights into Leadership Mastery and Moxie in 31 Days!

1

Definition What is a leader?

This is a question that, if posed to 10 women, would garner 10 very different answers. Yet we often assume that what we think makes a leader is what others think too.

Some women define leadership as having extraordinary intrapersonal traits, such as being visionary, smart, creative, or charismatic. Others value behaviors and style, including poise and confidence, being a good communicator, creating consensus, or having strong organizational skills. Still others focus on interpersonal qualities like the ability to influence a group or serve as a personal mentor and guide. And some consider content expertise, talent, or position and title alone.

By recognizing our own personal definition of a leader, we can discover what we would like to improve upon and also determine how we can become more effective leaders.

2

I think a leader is……….

Next: Find a leadership quote that captures your definition of a leader. For inspiration, post it where you can regularly see it, such as in your folio or desk drawer.

3

Beginnings The process of becoming a leader begins in childhood.

We learn about being a woman, a leader, and a female leader from those around us, especially our parents. The expectations they have for us can powerfully affect our thoughts and behaviors as adults.

In many instances, the impact is unconscious. We take the beliefs for granted, and over the course of our lives, they guide us and shape who we are.

Recognizing these early lessons helps us to bring them to consciousness. You will find that some expectations are helpful and that some are not. Identifying them enables you to make choices.

A good start in identifying early lessons is to recall the quotes or sayings you remember from your parents. Do any of these ring a bell?

Never burn bridges!

Why become a designer when you can be an architect?

The squeaky wheel gets the grease.

There is no greater joy than parenting!

4

What life lessons about being a woman, a leader, and/or a women leader did I learn from my mother? From my father?

Next: Put a star next to the lessons that have been most helpful to you as a career woman. Put an X next to the lessons that are not fitting for you at this time in your career.

5

Role Models We can learn a lot from other women.

A role model is someone who has a quality (or qualities) that we admire and that we would like to emulate. Our models can be women we personally know or not.

For instance, many people admire Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg for her intelligence and influential support of women’s rights. Misty Copeland, the first African American female principal dancer with the prestigious American Ballet Theatre Company, is held in high regard for having overcome barriers. Of course, Malala Yousafzai, the Pakistani activist shot by the Taliban at the age of 15 for attending school, is well respected for her courage and continued fight for educational justice.

Certainly, our models can also be family members and others “in our own back yard.” You may admire a friend who is outgoing and liked by all, a neighbor who serves on your city council, or a colleague who is poised and elegant during the most trying of times. * The 2015 most admired women were: Hillary Clinton, Malala Yousafzai, Oprah Winfrey, Michelle Obama, Carly Fiorina, Queen Elizabeth II, Angela Merkel, Elizabeth Warren, Aung San Suu Kyi, Condoleezza Rice, Sarah Palin, and Ellen DeGeneres.

6

Ten women role models, with the specific qualities that I admire, are:

Next: Pick one of the models above. Imagine yourself with a bit more of the quality that you admire. Then test it out by being that way for a day.

7

Be Bold Successful career women are really not more confident or assured in their abilities than others, but rather, they are persistent.

Their boldness is demonstrated in numerous ways.

First, they stretch themselves. They are always eager to learn something new or to try new experiences. They say “Yes! I can do that,” even when they aren’t 100% sure. They’ll definitely learn when given the opportunity.

Second, they often see obstacles as problems waiting to be solved.

Instead of seeing road blocks in their career path, women leaders see challenges as hurdles to be leapt over.

And third, bold women are passionate about their work. They find purpose in what they do; they believe their career really matters and makes a difference in the [local] world.

8

How does my work make a difference in the [local] world? Who benefits from my work?

What would happen if no one was available to do my work?

Next: Take the time to learn something new. Anything. It can be professionally relevant or not. It can be a six-month commitment, such as taking college courses, or as short as five minutes to read a section in the local newspaper that you typically skip over.

9

ViRtuosity Virtuosity relates to moral integrity and goodness.

Researchers have found that “virtuous leaders� are viewed as effective, ethical, authentic, and transformational. They discovered that four observable and public behaviors characterize virtuous leadership.

Prudence is to be insightful and to make decisions that balance the needs of the individual versus the organization.

Temperance is to manage emotions in a way that avoids extremes while maintaining authenticity.

Justice is to be fair.

Fortitude is to demonstrate patience, perseverance, and courage in times of challenge and crisis.

10

How have I been a virtuous leader and demonstrated prudence, temperance, justice, and fortitude?

Next: Of the four behaviors (prudence, temperance, justice, and fortitude), circle the one that is the most challenging for you.

Identify two ways you can improve upon that behavior and be seen as a more virtuous leader.

1 2

11

Public Speaking Public speaking is the most common phobia reported.

Feeling nervous before an event is normal, but if the anxiety keeps you from speaking up and out, it can be a major career roadblock.

Inversely, women who articulate their opinions and offer their perspectives will be noticed and distinguished.

Three simple speaking tips will lead to an effective presentation: Practice, practice, practice (or avoid avoiding the presentation).

Rehearse the presentation as realistically as possible. Yes, this means speaking out loud, standing, and advancing slides on the computer screen while imagining the room and the audience around you.

Feeling good in advance of giving a speech is the best thing you can do to give a good speech.

Start by telling a personal story about how you connect with the topic. People bond with other people more than they do with lists of data or facts. By telling your own story, the audience can connect with you, as well as with the information you’re sharing. It will help you to feel more at ease, too.

Show your excitement and enthusiasm. Smile, use your hands, look at the crowd, and change your voice pattern. The audience won’t notice some stumbling over words, but they will notice being read to in monotone.

12

What can I do to strengthen my competence and confidence in public speaking?

Next: In the next two days, speak at a time when you have something to say, but would normally only listen.

13

Do the Math Second to public speaking anxiety is math anxiety.

While everyone faces a “numbers nervousness” at times, an effective leader won’t let that fear keep her from approaching and learning necessary skills.

There is no job or profession for which computational ability is unimportant. Today’s career women are quantitatively skilled: they manage budgets, read financial projections, make statistical comparisons, graph results, and review analytics.

For help with numerical tasks, consult one of the many resources available or turn to a trusted colleague. In my experience, the confusion lies with the elaborate vocabulary more than the actual computations.

Get cozy with the lingo relevant to—and associated with—your field, be it probability, net revenue, third quartile, mass, variable ratio, valuation, or correlation. Your other talents will shine even more brightly when your analytical capabilities are revealed.

14

In what analytical/mathematical area of my field do I feel most confident and competent?

Next: Select an analytical area that you feel less confident about– and learn about it. What did you learn?

15

Be EntRepReneuRial Entrepreneurialism is a major trend these days, and “momprenuers” are leading the way.

Since 2007, the number of women-owned businesses in the U.S. has increased by 45%.

Entrepreneurs need to be able to take a creative idea and carry it into the marketplace, and these skills can benefit any leader. This philosophy of “doing business” has much to offer women leaders, whether heading a start-up or just starting out at a major corporate office.

Entrepreneurs: Follow their passion by doing what they love (which isn’t about getting rich quickly) and not just dreaming about “what if.”

Prepare by learning about—and digging into—every aspect of their businesses (from A for accounting to Z for zippy inventory delivery).

Are budget savvy by managing money effectively, whether it is personal or organizational finances.

Focus on selling by connecting with customers and suppliers in ways that stretch their comfort level.

Are innovative by thinking in realistic, yet out-of-the-box, ways to dream up distinctive and useful products or services.

Consult and work with mentors because they understand this is the best way to learn new skills and information targeted to their own success.

Know that they are the brand and make all decisions focused on the message.

16

What qualities of an entrepreneur resonate with me?

Next: Be an entrepreneur with yourself as the “product.� What do you need to do more of? Less of?

17

The #1 Makeup Tip Putting your best face forward doesn’t mean a tutorial on the use of mascara, lipstick, concealer, or hydrating eye creams.

The most important makeup tool isn’t in our purses—it’s in our smiles.

Yes, I know it isn’t PC to tell a woman to smile, but woman-towoman, let’s “face it”: it is a terrific leadership tool.

Most importantly, smiling reduces stress and keeps us in a good mood. It releases endorphins—the hormones that lower pain (e.g., during exercise) and increase pleasure (e.g., during sex).

Our smiling affects others, too. People naturally mimic the posture of others. So, our smile leads those around us to smile. We help them feel good, too.

Women who smile are seen as more approachable, personable, trustworthy, and attractive. Yikes! Talking about attractiveness is also not PC—but it matters. Study after study shows that attractiveness is related to success in areas such as hiring, promotions, and salary. Good-looking people are viewed as harder working and as more valuable to the organization than those who are less so.

As comedienne Phyllis Diller remarked, A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

18

In what situations do I find it easiest to smile?

When do I find it most difficult to smile (of course, this assumes that it is an appropriate occasion to smile)?

Next: Practice genuine smiling (keep your facial muscles relaxed and use your eyes). Smile while passing strangers. How do they respond?

19

Non-veRbal Communication We convey a lot of information about ourselves without saying a word.

In fact, it has been suggested that we form an impression of a person within just seven seconds! What do you want to tell the world—or at least the room—about you?

Beyond the “strong handshake,” your body language can exude confidence and create a feeling of connection in many ways.

Consider these head-to-toe behaviors that suggest leadership competence, approachability, and honesty: Smile—you know it as “The #1 Makeup Tip.” Stand tall.

Maintain eye contact without staring.

Sit at the head of the table when leading a meeting.

(If an attendee, sit to the right of the leader.) When meeting with one other person, sit diagonally to each other.

Keep your arms uncrossed and hands open.

Nod when others are speaking.

Dress conservatively in blue (which is associated with ability and trust).

Match your voice tone to the message (emotion and meaning is heavily conveyed through tone, volume, and speed of speech).

20

What impressions do my non-verbal communications offer? Which behaviors on the list come naturally to me?

Next: Practice some of the non-verbal behaviors that come less naturally to you. How do others respond?

21

You aRe a Saleswoman “I have always said that everyone is in sales.

Maybe you don't hold the title of salesperson, but if the business you are in requires you to deal with people, you, my friend, are in sales.” Of course, the well-known motivational speaker and business consultant, Zig Ziglar, made this declaration, knowing that every job requires dealing with people.

Top sales professionals focus their attention on their next success, not their previous setbacks. Their motivation derives from the successful sale and the “yeses,” rather than from avoiding the “no’s.” In other words, they stay energized by seeking the next success rather than by dwelling on failures (more on “failures” on page 15). They don’t allow themselves to become discouraged and demoralized.

In addition to persistence, customers value salespeople who: Believe in and know the product.

If you would buy what you are selling, the passion is contagious.

Are honest.

People sense when being “sold a bill of goods.”

Are empathic.

Customers are comforted when they feel understood by someone who genuinely cares and is not insistent.

22

If everyone’s job is in sales, what is it that I sell and what are my best qualities that lead to “sealing the deal”?

Next: The next time you purchase a product after interacting with a (by title) salesperson, note the qualities and skills s/he had that drew you to buy.

23

Moxie We can learn a lot from Eleanor Roosevelt’s stirring declaration, “We must do the things we think we cannot do.”

Fear can be enemy #1 to career satisfaction and advancement.

When making decisions, many women become immobilized worrying about how others are going to react or whether the choice they made was the “right” one. To keep from being paralyzed by such fears, realize that you cannot control others’ reactions. What you can do is make it a habit to openly explain the reasons behind your decisions to your group (see Virtuosity).

After that, how the group members feel about your decision is their choice.

Remember too that, except in very rare circumstances, many different options can lead to success. Plus, almost every decision or course of action can be modified if the situation does not progress as expected.

Finally, make fear your friend. A bit of nervousness lets you know that you care about something and that you are stretching yourself.

Allow your worries to become your motivator—your moxie—for busting through your own barriers.

24

What are three things I must do that I think I cannot do?

Next: Pick one thing from your list of three. Make a four-step plan to help yourself “do the thing you think you cannot do�. Consider talking the plan over with your mentor or someone else you trust.

25

AsseRtiveness Throughout our lives, we are told to be assertive, rather than passive, aggressive, or passive-aggressive.

Of course, this is good advice. We need to state our thoughts, opinions, needs, and wants in ways that are respectful to both ourselves and others. In our experience, two particularly useful “tips” for women leaders are: Gracefully accept compliments. This is called positive assertion.

Be sure to receive praise with a “thank you,” rather than being dismissive, disagreeable, or sarcastic. Women are often taught to be humble and understated, so we are quick to brush off positive attention. But responding assertively validates ourselves as well as the person offering the praise.

State the reasons and the intent of your assertive comments before offering them. As you may know, there remains a strong double standard between men and women when it comes to being assertive. Recent research has found that when women speak their minds, they are viewed as less competent. But you can help alleviate this judgment if you are clear about your goals and your rationale.

26

What was the most recent compliment I received? Did I respond to the praise in an assertive way?

Next: State the reason behind your assertive statement the next time you voice an opinion or make a request.

27

FailuRe A lot has been written about women’s fear of failure and how it keeps us from making decisions or engaging in activities that would further our advancement.

It is a complicated theory, and we’ll leave it to sociologists to debate.

Of course, no one wants their professional endeavors—or any undertaking for that matter—to fail. But there is good news: the best tool to keep us from failure is in our control. We can change how we define and perceive failure.

A successful person takes informed risks and doesn’t give up if the plan turns out differently than predicted. Instead, she sees a setback as a trial run that will enable her to improve her plan. Conversely, that same situation can be (mis-) perceived as reckless and a waste of resources that simply confirms the status quo. A person with this perspective will frequently get bogged down by debilitating perfectionism and procrastination.

Which of these perspectives is going to be the most motivating and lead to the most innovative outcomes? Which person is going to be viewed by colleagues as a “creative go-getter with moxie”?

28

Think about a time when you felt like you ‘failed’ in your professional life. Looking back, what did you learn from that experience? How are you different from that person now?

Next: Take note of your inner thoughts when something turns out differently than expected. What do you hear? Is the self-talk motivating or discouraging?

29

WoRk-Life Balance It seems impossible to address women’s leadership without discussing “work-life balance.”

This is probably due to the fact that working women continue to be the primary child caretakers and household managers.

So, what is the best way to balance office-home responsibilities?

I asked the experts—my colleagues—and these are the tips they offered in their words: • Prioritize—develop a list of “will do’s” and an equally compelling number of “wont do’s.” Once this is done, there are no choices that need to be made later.

• Commit to not taking work home.

• Put God in the mix.

• Do the best you can, and don’t be too hard on yourself.

• Get enough sleep.

• Don’t imagine that there is an ideal.

• Think of “balance” over a lifetime, not a day, week, or month— or even a year.

• Practice self-compassion.

• If it’s not a “hell, yes,” then it’s a “hell, no.”

• Don’t be a supermom and try to do it all.

• Keep relationships a priority.

• Don’t over commit.

• Keep a sense of humor. You can’t do it all, so what you can do, do well.

• Follow your passion.

• Hire people to help with upkeep such as yard work and housecleaning.

30

What tip for work-life balance would I give if asked?

Which colleagues’ tip resonates with me?

Next: Outline realistic ways that you can better follow through with the tips that work best for you

31

NetwoRking There are many advantages to bonding with networks (groups of interconnected people) both inside and outside of your organization.

Networking benefits include: • Becoming more aware of trends and news within your field and organization.

• Expanding opportunities and collaborations. (People engage with those whom they know.)

• Meeting new colleagues and deepening friendships.

• Gaining sound advice.

• Adding novelty to the day-to-day routine.

• Surrounding yourself with positive and motivated people.

(It rubs off too!)

Don’t forget about informal networks because they can be just as influential as more formally defined units. And women tend to be connected with fewer casual groups than men do.

A simple way to grow your network is to set the goal of introducing yourself and having a brief conversation with one new person at each large gathering you attend.

32

I am (or can be) a part of the following formal and informal networks:

I define networking as:

I enjoy networking because:

I am squeamish when networking because:

Next: Pinpoint a thought or action that will help you overcome your networking squeamishness.

33

Email Notes and Memos Because we communicate with so many people through our writing, our writing style says a lot about our leadership style.

It is important to remember, however, that a long and thorough e-note, explaining all of your sophisticated and detailed ideas, may, in fact, run counter to your purpose.

Studies have found that people spend only 15-20 seconds on average reading an e-mail, and most are responded to within two minutes, using a “smart phone.” So “less is best” if you want it read and acted upon. Try these steps: 1. Explain the purpose of the note in the subject line in five words or less (e.g., Question re: FY18 budget).

2. I n bold font, state the action or response that you are seeking within the first two sentences. (e.g., Please review the anticipated expenses for stationary and landscaping in the proposed FY18 budget. Suzie Smith, CFO, appreciates your opinion on its accuracy within the next 48 hours).

3. Explanatory information follows. Use bullet points to organize the who/what/where/when/whys.

34

What email messages grab my attention and get me to respond quickly? What is it about those messages that resonate with me?

Next: Try out the “less is best� method. How did it work?

35

ORganize to PRioRitize Being organized is important for work efficiency, productivity, professionalism, and, most importantly, to keep focused on goals and priorities.

These outcomes arise from order and attention at the macro- (i.e., family calendaring) and micro- (i.e., the email in-box) levels in both our personal and professional lives.

Build a long-lasting habit of organization: Keep a to-do list to keep on top of must-do’s for the day and week. Jotting down responsibilities eliminates worries, surprises, and procrastination. Remember, too, that a to-do list is different than calendaring; it is not a list of events but a list of preparation activities for events.

Declutter by having a place and space for everything in your office and home. This includes a filing system for your electronic messages and files too. Schedule daily time to check and respond to email messages.

Taken together, consider cleaning your workspace at the end of the day and creating a list of what you need to do the next day – so that you are not taking work [mentally] home. This deliberate activity helps you mark your stopping point and feel confident in what you have accomplished.

A highly organized leader has the time to be a highly effective leader. Attention and energy can turn to the important “extras”— writing thank you notes, having casual conversations with coworkers, or attending a professional development meeting.

36

In what ways am I highly organized? In what areas of my life do I want to be more structured? How can I enhance structures I’m already using?

Next: Today, take the time to clean up your desk, laptop, or filing system. Tomorrow, complete an “extra” with the additional time that the organization gives you.

37

Rejuvenation Women with all the skills and confidence in the world are not effective if they are mentally, physically, or spiritually drained.

While an annual vacation is important, setting aside moments for daily renewal is also necessary. A few minutes of personal time will keep your spark alive and prevent burn out.

Moreover, these daily activities need to be undertakings that you look forward to; these are “want-to’s.” Regularly change them up, so they don’t become dull, rote, or a “have-to.”

When I ask women what they do for daily fortification, these are some of the activities they mention:

38

Walk/Jog/Run

Listen to music

Yoga

Pleasure read

Meditate

Cook/Bake

Dance

Garden

Watch television

Sew/Embroider

Read the newspaper

Color

Reflect/Pray

Get a message or facial

Play an instrument

Handwrite notes to friends

Lift weights

Bird watch

What do I do for daily fortification–mentally, physically, and spiritually?

Next: Try a new activity that grabs your attention from the list (or any other that you’ve wanted to try)

39

SteReotype ThReat Did you know that if women are “reminded” that they do not perform as well as men in math before taking an exam, they will score lower than if they are not reminded?

Stereotype threat is the fear of confirming a negative stereotype about one’s own gender, race, ethnicity, gender, or cultural group.

Over twenty years ago, social psychologists Dr. Claude Steele and colleagues performed the first studies demonstrating that stereotype threat affects our intellectual abilities. They suggested that under this influence our brains start multi-tasking and are not able to focus solely on the challenges in front of us.

You can reduce the effects of stereotype threat simply by being aware of the process and recognizing that it is happening. Using your imagination can bust these fears. Pretend to be one of your role models (review your “Role Model” entry) or being your “future fearless self.”

40

What stereotypes have I feared confirming?

In what situation? What can I do to be assured and more confident in the situation?

Next: Test out your plan of action the next time you are in the situation.

41

Team CultuRe “There is no ‘I’ in team” is a saying that you may have heard or seen painted on the walls of a locker room.

For group unity and collaboration, this is true. However, regarding the management and motivation of those who report to you, there are many I’s. Attending to the uniqueness of each person on your team is important.

Some people seem to read every situation as an opportunity to “win” while others read competitive situations as anxiety-provoking or potentially embarrassing. Similarly, the current trend of creating “irreverent and fun” organizational cultures may get some people’s creative juices flowing, but others may find that same setting frivolous, disrespectful, or even offensive. Likewise, an emphasis on “speed and spontaneity” may increase some employees’ output, but for individuals who tend to make poor impulsive decisions, rushing through work may be seriously counterproductive.

As a leader, you must be aware of how each person on your team responds to various situations and motivations so that you can align them with the culture that you are trying to create.

42

List a unique quality for each person on your team. How does each person respond to praise—constructive criticism—team success—a crisis—[a situation of your choice]?

Next: The next time you are delegating responsibility or assigning tasks, consider the combination of skill and individual style in your choice. In what ways does the combination affect your decision?

43

GeneRational Influences Just as our family and friends affect our leadership style, so does our generational context.

It helps to know the qualities of your own generation and that of others to best capitalize on the diversity that age brings.

Baby boomers, born between 1946 and 1964, were raised believing that with hard work they could live the American dream. They are mission-oriented and loyal to the organization. Boomers are highly responsive to recognition and praise. On the down side, they have difficulty with change and assume that everyone should be workaholics.

Post-boomers, born between 1965 and 1980, are the first generation not to be more financially successful than their parents.

Unlike baby boomers, Xers are quite flexible yet cynical and distrustful of institutions. For these reasons, they tend to appreciate independence and informal structures in the work setting. Because work-life balance is important to them, they value time off and other benefits.

Echo boomers, born between 1981 and 2000, grew up with childcentered parents protecting them from violence (9/11, terrorism, school shootings, etc.). They are collaborative and optimistic, yet may seem impatient as they climb the career ladder. Millennials thrive when engaged in “meaningful work.�

44

How do these descriptions fit my experience in the workplace?

Next: When next assigning projects to individuals and teams, consider generational influences along with specific individual characteristics.

45

Heading a Meeting Leading a meeting is a quintessential leadership task.

Recently, organizational experts have questioned the human resource costs of holding so many, often ineffective, meetings.

Distinguish yourself by managing meetings competently, and you can solidify your role as a skilled organizational leader. These pointers will ensure a fruitful and efficient meeting.

• Develop an agenda and distribute it to attendees before the meeting. Include the anticipated length of time for each issue.

With the exception of few updates and reminders, agenda items should be important (important items require follow-up action).

• Solicit opinions from all in attendance.* Support a culture in which different ideas and strategies can be voiced and discussed in a collegial way. Considering a range of ideas will result in a more productive outcome.

• Manage the meeting as a conductor does an orchestra. Be directive while valuing the contribution of each attendee.

• Delegate follow-up action items with a clear timeline for completion of the task. * Being a leader as an attendee should not be undervalued. Be sure to assertively voice your opinion to assist the group in making decisions.

46

What are my strengths as a meeting leader?

In what ways can I improve the process when leading a meeting?

Next: Test out your strategy leading a meeting the next time you are in the position.

47

Leading for Impact Your organization has a vision (aspiration), mission (purpose), and strategic goals that grow out of and reinforce that organization’s culture, identity, and core values.

Of course, when team members’ energies are aligned with these foci, the organization advances.

Too often, however, the process of alignment is overlooked, especially when people assume the CEO alone should lead the way.

But a successful organization needs all “on board.”

This is where we, as leaders, can have a major impact. Make certain that individual and team accomplishments are understood within the context of supporting the organization’s larger vision, mission, and strategies. This means focusing on small daily or weekly successes even more than the semi- and annual goals! For instance, the office assistant who is praised by a customer for “going the extra mile” should be commended for her specific actions and for supporting the organizations’ commitment to customer satisfaction.

This recognition is as important as celebrating an organizations increase in return customers. In short, keep individuals engaged in the larger purpose by recognizing their specific achievements and how they contribute to the success of the organization.

As Jeanne Knoerle has said, “The identity of an institution lies not in what anyone says about it from time to time, but in what everyone does about it every day.”

48

What are the formal and informal values of my organization?

How do I best contribute to them?

Next: During the week, informally tell each of your team members something that you appreciate about a current undertaking and how it advances an organizational value. Be very specific about both the activity and the value.

49

Being Inclusive Effective leaders encourage and value diversity, and their efforts and energies support the organization’s diversity goals.

In addition to hiring practices, a leader can foster a team culture of inclusion.

Such a culture goes beyond the absence of a hostile environment in regards to gender, race, sexual orientation, religion, age, and nationality; it goes beyond sheer numbers, too. It is also more than being “welcoming,” since this view assumes that there is an ingroup, waving in “the other.”

Recently, there has been important attention paid to microaggressions. A micro-invalidation, a specific type of microaggression, is a cue that “negates and nullifies a person’s minoritized [or marginalized] reality.” Focusing on eliminating these invalidations helps create a culturally sensitive culture. A few examples, for instance: • Don’t claim to be “color blind” - no matter how well intentioned.

• Learn the correct pronunciation of every team member’s name and don’t use a nickname unless it is offered.

• When talking about diversity, include the various characteristics of race, gender, sexual identity/orientation, religion, age, nationality, and even ideas (i.e., political leaning).

50

In what situations have I felt excluded from an “in-group�? Were these microinvalidations?

Next: List some way that you can contribute to animating an inclusive team or organizational culture:

51

HiRing No one is expected to (or can) be an expert in every aspect of their profession.

For this reason, one of a leader’s most important responsibilities is hiring personnel. Consider these points so that you can hire the best people for your team’s success: Consider your team’s structure–Identify both what is needed to fill gaps and advance your group and the specific expectations within that domain of expertise. Outline how you will assess each of these qualities for the new employee.

Observe all aspects of a candidate–Every bit of information is telling. Are there typos in Mr. Smith’s cover letter? Does Ms. Jones thank the office assistant for hanging her coat? More often than not, if hired, Mr. Smith will consistently lack attention to details, and Ms. Jones will have a gracious and appreciative style. Are these behavioral observations significant for the specific position? If so, take note!

Focus on the long term–Extroverts and those who exude confidence in themselves do very well in interviews. They tend to put others at ease and state their competencies without nuance. This style plays well in a three-hour interview process. Remember, however, that “still waters run deep.” The quieter, conscientious, and self-aware introvert may, in fact, be the best person for the position and could shine once they get on board and settled.

Be confident–There is a saying that leaders tend to hire for control or for competence. Be self-assured and hire for the latter reason!

52

When leading a hiring process, what are my strengths? What are my weaknesses? What qualities in the hiring team do I need to complement my strengths and weaknesses?

Next: Identify three “lessons learned� from your experience in hiring for success.

1 2 3

53

Giving PeRfoRmance Feedback A performance review is an opportunity to support and guide employees.

Don’t avoid giving feedback because it is based on (your) perception. Your view alone is valid, and if you notice something, nine times out of ten, it happens across situations and people.

An end-of-the-year review begins at the start of the year. In addition to goal setting, invite your direct report to list three strengths and three areas of improvement. (Note that such a list is not typically included in an organization’s appraisal template.

If it’s not in yours, add it to your department’s process.) Make sure to discuss their list with them directly so as to gain a greater understanding of their experience and insights. At a mid-year meeting, ask about how they perceive their progress toward their goals as well as about any new feelings about their areas of strengths and improvement.

When offering the annual appraisal, address the performance in light of their perceptions. You will be pleasantly surprised that the areas that the supervisee identified are often the points of strength and weakness that you would note as well. This method enables those insights to originate from them, allowing you to serve as a resource for improvement and development.

Verbally give annual feedback using the “sandwich” method, sequencing your review with positives at the beginning and end (positive, needs improvement, positive).

54

What have I liked and disliked about the performance reviews that I have received?

Next: List a few ways that you can improve your process of employee review.

55

Receiving PerfoRmance Feedback Many women become uneasy when it’s time to receive performance feedback.

This apprehension may be well grounded. In one of the most-read articles posted on Fast Company in 2014, a study showed that women received more critical feedback in performance appraisals than men (88% versus 59%). Moreover, women received less constructive and more personal feedback than men did.

Of course, this doesn’t mean you can ignore the feedback you receive—quite the contrary. Reviews point the way to professional improvement and success. Be genuinely open to receiving feedback.

Engaging in an inquisitive, non-defensive discussion with a supervisor can often turn the relationship into one of mentorship and counsel.

If at first you feel that the appraisal is unfair or inaccurate, wait a few days to more deeply reflect on the comments. Then, schedule time to discuss the feedback (see On Being Assertive). In the meeting, focus on asking questions rather than making statements so that you can more fully understand the reasons behind specific comments. It is important for your success within an organization to understand more fully how your supervisor views your work.

Approaching the meeting in this way ensures that you are not viewed as emotional and defensive (criticisms often placed on women), but rather as professional and constructive.

56

How do I feel immediately before receiving performance feedback? Are my feelings related to prior experience/s?

Next: Evaluate the feedback you have received over the past five years. How have you built upon the strengths and improved upon the critiques?

57

Poppy GRoweRs Without a doubt, you’ve heard of—if not read—Sheryl Sandberg’s book, Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead (with Nell Scovell, 2013), which counsels women to have the courage to act on their goals and dreams.

Leaning in is certainly important, but so too is “lifting up.” Young women are often encouraged to connect with a women mentor, but rarely are seasoned leaders encouraged to reach out to aspiring women. In fact, I have found that when mentoring is addressed, very quickly the issue of women’s competitiveness, tensions, and interpersonal difficulties arise. Many women professionals feel that their most significant career criticisms and obstacles have come from women supervisors.

At one of my seminars, an attendee told an Australian allegory— that advancing, competent, hardworking young professional women are known as poppies, growing high above the grass.

Women supervisors and peers that “cut them down” are known as poppy pickers.

Let’s be women who cultivate gardens of poppies.

58

Who in my organization is a poppy?

What keeps me, honestly, from fully supporting these poppies?

What have been the circumstances in which I have mentored a career woman?

Next: Take action, in ways big or small, in supporting one of the poppies on your list

59

Design Your “CoRner Office” Since 2009, Pulitzer Prize winning journalist Adam Bryant has interviewed chief executive officers for Corner Office, a weekly, questionand-answer style column in the Sunday edition of The New York Times’s business section.

The questions are unique each week, but they tend to address early leadership experiences, lessons learned the hard way, hiring styles, and advice for new graduates.

Find them on-line at http://www.nytimes.com/column/corner-office and read a few interviews of featured women CEOs. Now write one about yourself. Pick five to seven questions and respond to them as you would in an interview. Don’t forget to title it and add a photograph.

60

What insights did I gain from this reflection?

Next: Interview your mentor or a colleague using the same questions that you used in your “column.� What ideas did you gain about your own leadership from listening to her experience?

61

Meta-Reflection The grandfather of the reflection-learningperformance process, education philosopher John Dewey (1859-1952), reminds us that “We do not learn from experience…we learn from reflecting on experience.”

Without flipping back through this journal and your entries, what are some significant take-aways you’ve gained from reflecting on your leadership and career this past month?

62

63

Author’s Note – on discRimination My approach in writing this journal book is to give women individual empowerment strategies so that they are professionally fulfilled and excel in their careers.

That said, workplace unfairness, harassment, and discrimination occurs. With regards to sex discrimination and work situations, the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) states that “The law forbids discrimination when it comes to any aspect of employment, including hiring, firing, pay, job assignments, promotions, layoff, training, fringe benefits, and any other term or condition of employment.”

Other types of discrimination prohibited by the laws enforced by the EEOC include: Age, Disability, Equal Pay/Compensation, Genetic Information, Harassment, National Origin, Pregnancy, Race/Color, Religion, Retaliation, and Sexual Harassment.

If you face a discriminatory situation, document the event/s with as much detail and evidence as possible. Take the information to your organization’s Human Resources officer; for those in higher education the institution’s Title IX coordinator is the most fitting contact.

64

References and Resources Introduction Coaching Women (Chapter 13) by Bruce Peltier in The Psychology of Executive Coaching: Theory and Application. New York: Routledge, 2010.

Definition of Leadership Thirty-Three Ways to Define Leadership by Brittney Helmrich. http://www. businessnewsdaily.com/3647-leadership-definition.html#sthash.RXMeYsi5. dpuf, 2016.

Beginnings Who Taught Us How To Lead?:Parental Influence On Leadership Styles by Asiyat Magomaeva. http://digitalcommons.wayne.edu/cgi/viewcontent. cgi?article=1364&context=oa_theses, Wayne State University, 2013.

Role Models Clinton Most Admired Woman for Record 20th Time by Jeffrey M. Jones. http://www.gallup.com/poll/187922/clinton-admired-woman-record-20th-time. aspx Gallop.

Be Bold For Women to Rise, We Must Close “The Confidence Gap” by Margie Warrell. http://www.forbes.com/sites/margiewarrell/2016/01/20/gender-confidencegap/#7e7531354f72 Forbes, 2016.

Virtuosity Leader Spirituality and Leader Virtues as Predictors of Effective Leadership by Mark Green, Carol A. Wheeler, & Maria N. Hodgson in The Journal of Spirituality and Effective Leadership Management, vol. 6, 2012.

Public Speaking Why Is Public Speaking Important For Women’s Leadership? by Carla Kimball. http://www.riverways.com/articles/tao-8.htm, 2004.

Do The Math Think Again: Men and Women Share Cognitive Skills. http://www.apa.org/ action/resources/research-in-action/share.aspx, American Psychological Association, 2014.

Be Entrepreneurial The 2016 State of Women-Owned Business Report. http://www.womenable. com/content/userfiles/2016_State_of_Women-Owned_Businesses_Executive_ Report.pdf. American Express, 2016.

The #1 Make-up Tip How to Smile Naturally. http://www.wikihow.com/Smile-Naturally WikiHow. Non-verbal Communication Men and Women and Workplace Communication by Carol Kinsey Gorman. https://www.batimes.com/articles/men-and-women-and-workplacecommunication.html, BA Times, 2009.

You are a Saleswoman Ten Characteristics of Successful Salespeople by Kelley Robertson. http://www. businessknowhow.com/marketing/successful-salesperson.htm, Business KnowHow, 2005.

65

Moxie Why Women Don’t Apply for Jobs Unless They’re 100% Qualified by Tara Sophia Mohr. https://hbr.org/2014/08/why-women-dont-apply-for-jobs-unless-theyre100-qualified, Harvard Business Review, 2014.

Assertiveness Is Being Assertive at Work Harmful for Your Career? by Jerene Ang. http://www. humanresourcesonline.net/assertive-work-harmful-career/, Human Resources, 2015.

Failure Self-Esteem Influences How We Perceive Our Failures by Noah Rubenstein. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/self-esteem-influences-failureperception-1115112/, GoodTherapy.Org, 2011.

Work-Life Balance Thirty-Seven Tips for a Better Work-Life Balance. https://www.themuse.com/ advice/37-tips-for-a-better-worklife-balance, The Daily Muse.

Networking Why Women Should Do Less and Network More by Carol Bartz and Lisa Lambert. http://fortune.com/2014/11/12/why-women-should-do-less-andnetwork-more/, Fortune, 2014.

Email Notes and Memos Most Emails Answered in Just Two Minutes, Study Finds by Liz Neporent. http://abcnews.go.com/Health/emails-answered-minutes-study-finds/ story?id=30280230, ABC News, 2015.

Organize to Prioritize Twenty-One Tips to Organize Your Office and Get More Done by Royale Scuderi. http://www.lifehack.org/articles/productivity/21-tips-to-organize-your-officeand-get-more-done.html, Lifehack, 2016.

Rejuvenation Forty-Five Inspirational Quotes That Will Get You Through the Work Week by Alisha Reddy. https://www.themuse.com/advice/45-inspirational-quotes-thatwill-get-you-through-the-work-week, The Muse, 2016.

Stereotype Threat Whistling Vivaldi: How Stereotypes Affect Us and What We Can Do by Claudia Steele.

W. W. Norton & Company, 2011.

Team Culture How Psychology Can Make You A Better Boss by Cheryl Conner. http://www. forbes.com/sites/cherylsnappconner/2013/09/01/how-psychology-can-make-youa-better-boss/#4faa402bc383, Forbes, 2013.

Generational Influences How Millennials, Gen-x And Boomers Shape The Workplace by Vivan Gang. http://www.businessinsider.com/how-millennials-gen-x-and-boomers-shapethe-workplace-2013-9, Business Insider, 2013.

66

Heading A Meet Four Ways to Lead in Meetings When You’re Not the Meeting Leader by Jo Miller. http://womensleadershipcoaching.blogspot.com/2013/07/four-ways-tolead-in-meetings-when.html, Women’s Leadership Coaching, 2013.

Leading for Impact Seven Ways to Align Employee and Organizational Goals by Cheryl Gittens. http://www.nationnews.com/nationnews/news/32288/align-employeeorganizational-goals, NationNews, 2012.

Being Inclusive Microaggressions: More Than Just Race by Derald Wing Sue. https://www. psychologytoday.com/blog/microaggressions-in-everyday-life/201011/ microaggressions-more-just-race, Psychology Today, 2010.

Hiring Nine Ways to Improve Your Hiring Process by Marci Martin. http://www. businessnewsdaily.com/7155-startup-hiring-tips.html, Business News Daily, 2016.

Giving Performance Feedback Five Reasons It’s So Hard to Give Tough Performance Feedback by Marcia Ruben. http://www.leadershiptangles.com/leadership-tangles-blog/bid/40680/5Reasons-it-s-So-Hard-to-Give-Tough-Performance-Feedback, Ruben Consulting Group, 2009.

Receiving Performance Feedback The One Word Men Never See in Their Performance Reviews by Kathleen Davis. http://www.fastcompany.com/3034895/strong-female-lead/the-one-word-mennever-see-in-their-performance-reviews, Fast Company, 2014.

Poppy Growers Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead by Cheryl Sandberg & Neil Scovell, Knopf, 2014.

Why Women Need Career Sponsors More Than Mentors by Sava Berhané. https://www.fastcompany.com/3050430/strong-female-lead/why-women-needcareer-sponsors-more-than-mentors, Fast Company, 2015.

How The Women on Obama’s Staff Made Sure Their Voices Were Heard by Jenavieve Hatch. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/ how-the-women-on-obamas-staff-made-sure-their-voices-were-heard_ us_57d94d9fe4b0aa4b722d79fe, Huffington Post, 2016.

Design Your Corner Office Corner Office interviews by Adam Bryant. http://www.nytimes.com/column/ corner-office, New York Times.

Meta Reflection Looking Inwards: How Self-Reflection Strengthens Leaders by Beth A. Miller. https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/20140910151050-240215-looking-inwards-howself-reflection-strengthens-leaders, 2014.

Discrimination The U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, https://www.eeoc.gov/.

67

I thank the Women of Excellence at Xavier University for the grant which supported, in part, the editing (by Clear Sharp Writing), design and design and printing of this journal.

women of excellence