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21 Day

Kick-Start To Loving Yourself Daily Actions to Learn How To Love Yourself

WORKBOOK


A NOTE FROM THE AUTHORS WELCOME, MY BEAUTIFUL FRIEND.

What is self-love? We can think of it as a desire to give our own wellbeing a level of importance and respect. If you love yourself, you have regard for yourself. It’s about treating yourself as well as you would treat anyone you love. But most of us have been conditioned to believe that we should put ourselves last. We do this under the guise of caring about others or modesty. However, this is very self-defeating. You can’t do as much for others when you don’t make yourself a priority, too. You have to live with yourself every minute of the day, so you may as well enjoy your company. You are human, you'll never be perfect. Breath. As you work through these nuggets and to-do’s for the next 21 days, remember that this is just the beginning. We'd like to start by taking a moment to share something with you. IWe have asked thousands of individuals this question, "where do you think you get your value or worth from?" Everyone answers that question differently. As we go through this challenge together remember we all come from different walks of life, hence the reason we all have a different answer. We hope these questions, thoughts and teachings help you further along in your journey towards loving the woman that you are becoming. With Hope, Love and Happiness, Jennifer & Amber

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PRINTABLE CHECKLIST

INSTRUCTIONS: Begin first by setting your intentions. Then follow along day by day with the prompts, challenges and questions.

READ INTRODUCTION SET YOUR INTENTIONS FOR THE NEXT 21 DAYS BECOME AWARE ACCEPT ALL COMPLIMENTS THAT COME YOUR WAY CREATE AND USE AFFIRMATIONS DO SOMETHING YOU'VE WANTED TO DO ADMIRE YOUR BODY EAT NUTRITIOUSLY SEND YOURSELF AN ENCOURAGING LETTER ASK SOMEONE FOR A FAVOR REMOVE THE NEED FOR PERFECTION CLEAN UP YOUR SCHEDULE

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PRINTABLE CHECKLIST

DEVELOP A STRATEGY FOR STRESS CREATE A GRATITUDE LIST EXERCISE MAKE PLANS FOR YOUR FUTURE FORGIVE YOURSELF STOP SEEKING APPROVAL SIT BY YOURSELF SLEEP SET AND MAINTAIN BOUNDARIES DO ONE THING YOU KNOW YOU NEED TO DO

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THE PLAN 21 DAY CHALLENGE

DAY 1

DAY 2

DAY 5

DAY 6

DAY 9

DAY 8

DAY 11

DAY 14

DAY 18

DAY 4

DAY 7

DAY 10

DAY 13

DAY 17

DAY 3

DAY 15

DAY 19

DAY 12

DAY 16

DAY 20

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DAY 21


STEP 1: COMMIT TO YOUR JOURNEY Welcome to your personal 21-Day Journal, beautifully designed to make the most of your 21 Day Kick-Start To Learning To Love Yourself. I know that life can be hectic at times, but that doesn’t mean that it can’t be meaningful as well. Use this journal every day for the next few weeks, allowing you the space to set whole hearted intentions. This can be a place to express your deepest emotions. Feel free to print these pages out, put them in your favorite binder and then answer the first few questions as they arise in the book. With love my beautiful friend! Jennifer & Amber xo

HOW DO YOU FEEL IN YOUR BODY RIGHT NOW?

HOW DO YOU WISH YOU COULD FEEL INSTEAD?

HOW EXCITED ARE YOU TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT?

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INTENTIONS

STEP #2 YOUR WHY STATEMENT. Why are you doing this? Take time to write down

why this challenge is important to you right now.

STEP #3: YOUR CHALLENGE INTENTIONS. How do you want to feel? Reflect on how

you feel in the present and how you wish you could feel instead.

HOW I FEEL IN MY MIND:

HOW I WANT TO FEEL IN MY MIND:

HOW I FEEL IN MY BODY:

HOW I WANT TO FEEL IN MY BODY:

HOW I FEEL IN MY SPIRIT:

HOW I WANT TO FEEL IN MY SPIRIT:

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DAY ONE

SET YOUR INTENTION FOR THE NEXT 30 DAYS

It’s much easier to accomplish something when you have an intention. Your vegetable garden didn’t get planted last summer by accident. You had the intention of planting it. The same concept applies here. Avoid wasting the next 21 days. Decide that you’re going to work on your self-love and self-esteem. Be determined to give the next 3 weeks your best effort. It’s challenging to change your daily routine, and improving yourself isn't always fun or easy--but it is worth it. Your intention and determination are paramount to your success. So just decide to go for it. Before you lay down to sleep tonight, make an agreement with yourself that you are committed to this process. Bonus Tip: Find someone who is close to you who is willing to cheer you on as you tackle this course! Tell them that you would like to share your new discoveries, wins and struggles with them. We are each more likely to succeed when we fight our battles with others along our side.

“If loving yourself is always dependent on something... then you'll never love yourself.”


TODAY'S CHALLENGE: Learning to love yourself requires striking the perfect balance of loving yourself yet still being committed to the daily work of becoming a better 'you' today than you were yesterday. Today we want to stop 'All or Nothing" statements and thoughts. We've included two worksheets. The first one has some examples of thoughts that we have had to intercept and change, and the second one is blank for you!

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DAY ONE

MORNING JOURNALING Choose how you want to feel: How do you want to feel today?

Set your intentions: What are 1-3 things I can do to feel that way?

Journal your thoughts: Define your thoughts, emotions & plans for today.

EVENING JOURNALING Reflect on how you felt: How did you feel today?

Honour your intentions: Did I complete the three things I wanted to do?

Journal your thoughts: Describe your thoughts, emotions & experiences from today.

WHAT MADE ME GROW

WHAT MADE ME GRATEFUL

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WORKSHEET 1 CHANGE EVERYTHING INTO A POSITIVE 'I STATEMENT' INSTRUCTIONS: THINK OF FOUR THOUGHTS THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO STOP AND CHANGE? Here are a few of ours... 

NEGATIVE THOUGHT:

I'm Disabled & Have PTSD NEGATIVE THOUGHT:

I'm Fat NEGATIVE THOUGHT:

I'm a Failure

NEGATIVE THOUGHT:

I'm Needy

POSITIVE AFFIRMATION:

I can positively manage my symptoms of PTSD POSITIVE AFFIRMATION:

I have fat on my body but I am not defined by it.

POSITIVE AFFIRMATION:

I have failed at many things but I choose to learn from those failures. POSITIVE AFFIRMATION:

I have needs and it's okay for me to find ways to meet those needs

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WORKSHEET 1 CHANGE EVERYTHING INTO A POSITIVE I STATEMENT

INSTRUCTIONS: THINK OF FOUR THOUGHTS THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO STOP AND CHANGE AND WRITE THEM OUT.

NEGATIVE THOUGHT:

POSITIVE AFFIRMATION:

NEGATIVE THOUGHT:

POSITIVE AFFIRMATION:

NEGATIVE THOUGHT:

POSITIVE AFFIRMATION:

NEGATIVE THOUGHT:

POSITIVE AFFIRMATION:


DAY TWO BECOME AWARE

It’s difficult to make progress without understanding where you are currently. Spend some time today reflecting on your starting line. Begin noticing the way you treat yourself. Then, contrast that with how you treat your friends and family. Most of us are more patient, understanding and tolerant of others than we are of ourselves. In fact, some of us treat complete strangers better than we treat ourselves! Most people know the Golden Rule 'Love Your Neighbor As Yourself.' But sadly, because people struggle to love themselves, they don't know how to love others well either. One way to get out of this rut is to think about an analogy that I (Jennifer) thought of years ago about the oxygen mask on an airplane. When you put the mask on yourself first you are alive to help those next to you. Notice your tendencies regarding how you treat yourself. Pay particular attention to these areas: How is your Self-Talk? What types of phrases do you say to yourself in your head or out loud? How you feel when you make a mistake versus how you feel when someone else makes a mistake? Does the way you treat yourself encourage you to be your best? Do you treat yourself as if you’re important and worthy of respect?

Add a little bit of body text

Are the ways you think and act toward yourself habitual or done with thought and intention? WWW.JENNIFERTRACY-INSPIRE.COM | © 2019


DAY TWO

MORNING JOURNALING Choose how you want to feel: How do you want to feel today?

Set your intentions: What are 1-3 things I can do to feel that way?

Journal your thoughts: Define your thoughts, emotions & plans for today.

EVENING JOURNALING Reflect on how you felt: How did you feel today?

Honour your intentions: Did I complete the three things I wanted to do?

Journal your thoughts: Describe your thoughts, emotions & experiences from today.

WHAT MADE ME GROW

WHAT MADE ME GRATEFUL

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TODAY'S CHALLENGE: Spend the next 21 days with a greater level of awareness regarding your attitude and behavior toward yourself. Every morning see what the concept or task for the day is and recognize how working to add it as a daily habit will benefit you. Set your intention for accomplishing each day and the new task that will be ahead of you. Pay attention to your instinctual responses throughout today. Are you quick to anger with yourself? Are you patient? Is your self talk kind, or loving? Take note of anything you see yourself doing.

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DAY THREE

ACCEPT ALL THE COMPLIMENTS THAT COME YOUR WAY

When you’re short on self-love, it’s not easy to accept compliments. Do you feel uncomfortable when someone singles you out in a positive way? While modesty is generally a good policy to follow, it’s okay to feel happy about receiving a compliment. Starting today, accept all the compliments that others give you. A quick smile and a thank you is enough. Tell yourself that you deserve it. Avoid giving in to any temptation to deflect. Being able to receive  compliments is easier when you already believe THAT YOU ARE AWESOME, WORTHY, LOVABLE, and BEAUTIFUL... On the flip side, it is difficult when you struggle to think of yourself in a positive light.

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TODAY'S CHALLENGE: Today we want you to go up to someone you admire, think highly of or you think is beautiful and we want you to pay them a compliment. The challenge here is to pay attention to how they respond and in turn notice how that makes you feel?

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DAY THREE

MORNING JOURNALING Choose how you want to feel: How do you want to feel today?

Set your intentions: What are 1-3 things I can do to feel that way?

Journal your thoughts: Define your thoughts, emotions & plans for today.

EVENING JOURNALING Reflect on how you felt: How did you feel today?

Honour your intentions: Did I complete the three things I wanted to do?

Journal your thoughts: Describe your thoughts, emotions & experiences from today.

WHAT MADE ME GROW

WHAT MADE ME GRATEFUL

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DAY FOUR CREATE AND USE AFFIRMATIONS

Use these strategies daily to enable affirmations to reprogram your subconscious for greater self-love: 1. Carry your affirmations with you. You can have a copy on your phone, in a small notebook, or on an index card. Whatever you’ll consistently carry with you is fine.
 2. Read your affirmations several times each day. Whenever you have a spare moment, pull out your affirmations and read them. Try reading them to yourself and aloud when appropriate. Begin and end your day by reading your affirmations. 3. Set an alarm on your phone to go off 3x a day for the next couple weeks, reminding you to read your affirmations aloud. I know that you may be thinking ‘Seriously?...’ But, just trust me and do this. It will help build the habit and will truly reinforce the muscle to help you remember this far beyond these 21 days.

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TODAY'S CHALLENGE: Create 10 affirmations that address self-love. Remember that in day one you’ve been increasing your awareness of your behavior and attitude toward yourself. Create affirmations that take this new information into account. Affirmations should be positive and direct. “I love myself completely” is an example of an affirmation.

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DAY FOUR

MORNING JOURNALLING Choose how you want to feel: How do you want to feel today?

Set your intentions: What are 1-3 things I can do to feel that way?

Journal your thoughts: Define your thoughts, emotions & plans for today.

EVENING JOURNALLING Reflect on how you felt: How did you feel today?

Honour your intentions: Did I complete the three things I wanted to do?

Journal your thoughts: Describe your thoughts, emotions & experiences from today.

WHAT MADE ME GROW

WHAT MADE ME GRATEFUL

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DAY FIVE

DO SOMETHING YOU’VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO

For some reason when I became a mother of twins at the young age of 20 I made the choice that I would live in the "play it safe zone". This meant, no sky diving, motor cycle rides or jumping off 50 foot cliffs to dive in to water. Honestly, it wasn't hard to stay away from those things. I'm not an adrenaline junkie and I was truly busy being a mother of three beautiful girls. When my husband and daughter died in 2004, the whole play it safe concept became even more important to me. Can I tell you what I have always wanted to do? Something that scared me--really scared me--like "push fear aside and do it anyway" kind of scared. So that's how I ended up doing the most risky thing I have ever done in my life. It was about 4 years ago, my youngest daughter would have been 17, I was 40. I didn't want to die that day, I just decided that I wanted to push through my fears and do something that scared me. So, I jumped 50 feet off the edge of a cliff in Glendo, Wyoming. I didn't like it. I thought I was going to have a heart attack. But, instead of just saying I didn't like it and checking it off my list. I remember thinking "do it again, push through the fear again". So, I did. And then again. Three times in a row, and you know what I've concluded? Cliff diving isn't for me. I truly found no enjoyment in it. But that day I accomplished something huge for me, which was to 'Do something that scared me.' WWW.JENNIFERTRACY-INSPIRE.COM | © 2019

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TODAY'S CHALLENGE: Now it's your turn to do something you have always wanted. Maybe yours will be something odd like me or maybe something simple. Whatever the case may be, make it happen! Maybe you need to splurge on yourself today. If you’ve always wanted a hot stone massage, to try Vietnamese food, or learn to ride a motorcycle. Spend a little time and think about it. Then, go out and make it happen. (If you need to wait for the weekend, make concrete plans for your activity and stick to them.)

Deciding to add fun into your life may seem silly or unnecessary, but it is a great reminder of your worth. What you like matters. What you enjoy matters. Since you matter, be wiling to add more of what brings you joy into your life!

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DAY FIVE

MORNING JOURNALING Choose how you want to feel: How do you want to feel today?

Set your intentions: What are 1-3 things I can do to feel that way?

Journal your thoughts: Define your thoughts, emotions & plans for today.

EVENING JOURNALING Reflect on how you felt: How did you feel today?

Honour your intentions: Did I complete the three things I wanted to do?

Journal your thoughts: Describe your thoughts, emotions & experiences from today.

WHAT MADE ME GROW

WHAT MADE ME GRATEFUL

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DAY SIX ADMIRE YOUR BODY

You might be lacking a six-pack, have added a few wrinkles over the years or you wear bifocals, but those are small details compared to what your body can still do. Even if your health is quite poor, you can still do some amazing things. Consider the things many of us take for granted: The ability to see, hear, smell, touch, and taste. Consider how much pleasure these senses provide.
 The ability to walk and talk. How many amazing things can you experience just by having these two abilities? Maybe you’ve created children. You might think that your body isn’t much to look at anymore, but that’s a small issue. When you consider how much that body can still do, the other stuff is irrelevant. You are a strong, powerful, mighty warrior just because you woke up this morning. Be immensely proud of yourself today just for that!

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TODAY'S CHALLENGE: For today's challenge, we want you to stand in front of the mirror, butt naked and simply say, "I love you!" You might think this is crazy, but once you try it, you'll see that it may be harder to do than you think. At the same time, it can also be life changing once you learn to do it with ease.

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DAY SIX

MORNING JOURNALING Choose how you want to feel: How do you want to feel today?

Set your intentions: What are 1-3 things I can do to feel that way?

Journal your thoughts: Define your thoughts, emotions & plans for today.

EVENING JOURNALING Reflect on how you felt: How did you feel today?

Honour your intentions: Did I complete the three things I wanted to do?

Journal your thoughts: Describe your thoughts, emotions & experiences from today.

WHAT MADE ME GROW

WHAT MADE ME GRATEFUL

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DAY SEVEN EAT NUTRITIOUSLY

Prove to yourself that you love your body by treating it like a queen for a day. Instead of giving in to your regular habits and impulses, eat nutritiously for the whole day. Challenge yourself to continue for the remainder of the month. (Or even the rest of your life.) It is pretty impressive what can occur when you make a commitment. Then once you have seen results, and your hard work, persistence, patience and priorities begins to pay off... then it becomes fun to eat well!  Try staying committed to this long enough to give your body a chance to reset and really show you how much it appreciates you giving it what it needs.

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TODAY'S CHALLENGE: Spend some time thinking about the foods you consume, the way they make you feel and then list some areas where you can take just 1 step towards loving your body. Remember that making actual change by taking small steps is better than trying to make 10 new habits at once and not succeeding at any of them. Just pick one!

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DAY SEVEN

MORNING JOURNALING Choose how you want to feel: How do you want to feel today?

Set your intentions: What are 1-3 things I can do to feel that way?

Journal your thoughts: Define your thoughts, emotions & plans for today.

EVENING JOURNALING Reflect on how you felt: How did you feel today?

Honour your intentions: Did I complete the three things I wanted to do?

Journal your thoughts: Describe your thoughts, emotions & experiences from today.

WHAT MADE ME GROW

WHAT MADE ME GRATEFUL

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DAY EIGHT

SEND YOURSELF AN ENCOURAGING LETTER

Imagine how a wonderful friend or your partner feels about you. Write yourself a letter as though it came from that person. Be loving and encouraging. You can write it on paper, send yourself an email, or even leave a voicemail. It’s up to you. You might even consider turning this into a daily or weekly habit. Whether you do this consistently or just do it once, the most important aspect is to remind yourself that you are valuable. Include at least a few of the thousands of reasons why in your letter! We would love to see you get to a place where seeing your value isn't a stretch at all. Will you still fail and mess up? Oh yeah. Cause you're a human. But in the midst of all of that, are you still 100% worthy? Oh yeah. Work on this until you can think of yourself as someone who is always worthy with complete confidence.

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TODAY'S CHALLENGE: Decide how you are going to write to yourself. Once you have, pick the time and place. This can be as interactive or creative as you want it to be. If you love crafts, like we do, go for it. If simple is more you're style, do that. Maybe grab a glass of red wine or sip your favorite kind of latte while you do. Remember: You are inherently valuable. You are so special, worthy, loved... and you are adored by your creator.

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DAY EIGHT

MORNING JOURNALING Choose how you want to feel: How do you want to feel today?

Set your intentions: What are 1-3 things I can do to feel that way?

Journal your thoughts: Define your thoughts, emotions & plans for today.

EVENING JOURNALING Reflect on how you felt: How did you feel today?

Honour your intentions: Did I complete the three things I wanted to do?

Journal your thoughts: Describe your thoughts, emotions & experiences from today.

WHAT MADE ME GROW

WHAT MADE ME GRATEFUL

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DAY NINE ASK SOMEONE FOR A FAVOR

Those lacking in self-love don’t like to be bothersome to others. But, asking for help isn’t bothersome. You’d help someone else, so it’s only reasonable to assume that others would be happy to help you, too. You’re important and deserve help when you need it. Think of something that you could use some help with and ask an appropriate person for their help. Start small and build your comfort level. As you build your comfort level, you will build this muscle until you get to a place where you are completely comfortable asking for help when you need it. We are not meant to do life alone. One of my favorite things to say is 'Life is better together!' And man, do I really believe that.

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TODAY'S CHALLENGE: Find something applicable to you and be courageous enough to ask for help. Another thing I love to say is 'Do something that scares you.' This reminder pops up 2x a day on my phone. I don't mean scary, like going down dark alleys or even skydiving... but like asking for help when it's hard. So, join me in this challenge and do something that scares you today! Hand off the grocery list for this week and let someone else go for you. Teach your kids the important life skill of sorting colors, and doing laundry .Email your friends asking for some job leads. Ask your neighbor to take in your mail while you’re away. Ask your spouse to pick up the dry cleaning.

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DAY NINE

MORNING JOURNALING Choose how you want to feel: How do you want to feel today?

Set your intentions: What are 1-3 things I can do to feel that way?

Journal your thoughts: Define your thoughts, emotions & plans for today.

EVENING JOURNALING Reflect on how you felt: How did you feel today?

Honour your intentions: Did I complete the three things I wanted to do?

Journal your thoughts: Describe your thoughts, emotions & experiences from today.

WHAT MADE ME GROW

WHAT MADE ME GRATEFUL

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DAY TEN

REMOVE THE NEED FOR PERFECTION

Whether you require perfection from yourself, others, or both, you can bet you’re consistently miserable. Perfection doesn’t truly exist. It’s a theoretical idea that can never be attained. You might believe you’ve met the perfect man or woman. But you haven’t. You just haven’t experienced the imperfections yet. When you demand perfection from yourself, you can never be happy. This is a perfect way to always be disgruntled and resent yourself. Setting impossible expectations can never lead to satisfaction. Be kind to yourself and realize that your best effort is enough. Spend today relieving yourself of the need to be perfect. You are innately worthy and do not need to strive for an unrealistic ideal. Add this concept into your daily affirmations. Remind your self “I do not need to strive for perfection. Instead I will choose to aim for excellence."

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TODAY'S CHALLENGE: Today... You have to decide which challenge is for you. If you struggle more with feeling the need to be perfect... accept challenge one! If you struggle more with feeling the need for others to be perfect.... accept challenge two! (The challenges are given in today's audio file!)

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DAY TEN

MORNING JOURNALING Choose how you want to feel: How do you want to feel today?

Set your intentions: What are 1-3 things I can do to feel that way?

Journal your thoughts: Define your thoughts, emotions & plans for today.

EVENING JOURNALING Reflect on how you felt: How did you feel today?

Honour your intentions: Did I complete the three things I wanted to do?

Journal your thoughts: Describe your thoughts, emotions & experiences from today.

WHAT MADE ME GROW

WHAT MADE ME GRATEFUL

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DAY ELEVEN CLEAN UP YOUR SCHEDULE

How much time do you spend doing things you don’t want to do? Okay, we all have to do things we don’t want to do, but there are things you don’t want to do that you don’t actually have to do. It might be serving on the Parent-Teacher Organization or playing on the company softball team. Take a look at your average month and list the activities that you don’t enjoy. Yes, you still have to pay your bills, but there are at least a few things on that list that you don’t have to do. So, don’t do them. Let the appropriate people know, and then use that time for something that you do enjoy. Your happiness and time are important. Keep in mind that you get to make these decisions in every season of your life. Maybe something that used to bring you joy, doesn’t any more. Or maybe something that is not a good fit right now will come back around to being good again. Whatever the case, give yourself grace to make the best choices for you today for the season that you are in.

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TODAY'S CHALLENGE: Be courageous and give yourself the grace to say no the things you no longer want to do or no longer bring you joy. Then replace that activity and time with something you do love. Maybe you love reading, but never make time for it. Or maybe it's baking or cooking, or just sitting on the porch watching the sunset... Whatever it is that you love, today is the day to make time for it!!

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DAY ELEVEN

MORNING JOURNALING Choose how you want to feel: How do you want to feel today?

Set your intentions: What are 1-3 things I can do to feel that way?

Journal your thoughts: Define your thoughts, emotions & plans for today.

EVENING JOURNALING Reflect on how you felt: How did you feel today?

Honour your intentions: Did I complete the three things I wanted to do?

Journal your thoughts: Describe your thoughts, emotions & experiences from today.

WHAT MADE ME GROW

WHAT MADE ME GRATEFUL

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DAY TWELVE

DEVELOP A STRATEGY FOR DEALING WITH STRESS

Many of the chronic challenges in life are a result of dealing with stress poorly. Whether it’s irresponsible spending, overeating, passing on great opportunities, or something worse, it’s often due to handling stress poorly. Developing an effective and healthy method of dealing with stress can provide amazing benefits in your life. Developing a plan to manage your stress is no easy task and, again, like many of the things we are talking about in this challenge yours will unique to you. Before you can put a plan together to manage the things in your life that stress you out, you must first identify what it is that causes you stress. What things stress you out? What can you do to change that? Do you need to learn to accept or do you need to be more proactive about fighting for yourself? Knowing what works for you and being committed to implementing them makes the biggest difference. Making crafts, listening to music and grabbing coffee with a friend are a few of our tools to deal with stress! WWW.JENNIFERTRACY-INSPIRE.COM | © 2019


TODAY'S CHALLENGE:

Notice when you’re feeling stressed and try one of these strategies. If none of these seem to be the right fit for you, or even if you know exactly the trick that helps you deal with stress, be proactive and intentional about implementing that in to your life. Whatever it is that works for you, do yourself a favor and don’t fight stress alone. You know who the best person is, be it a close friend or maybe someone in your family—who can help keep you accountable or support you through this journey.

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DAY TWELVE

MORNING JOURNALING Choose how you want to feel: How do you want to feel today?

Set your intentions: What are 1-3 things I can do to feel that way?

Journal your thoughts: Define your thoughts, emotions & plans for today.

EVENING JOURNALING Reflect on how you felt: How did you feel today?

Honour your intentions: Did I complete the three things I wanted to do?

Journal your thoughts: Describe your thoughts, emotions & experiences from today.

WHAT MADE ME GROW

WHAT MADE ME GRATEFUL

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DAY THIRTEEN CREATE A GRATITUDE LIST

Even if you’re friendless and living on a park bench, there are still things in your life you can be grateful for. If you aren’t sleeping in the rain, you have at least 1 thing to be grateful for. Our culture focuses on the negative more than the positive. Those that travel extensively often notice that people from North America spend a lot of time talking about what they don’t like. But, people from other cultures often spend their time talking about what they do like. You get to choose what culture you want to be a part of. You can choose today to focus on what’s right in your life. Sometimes when I am going through a tough season, I will remind myself "I have been through far worse..." and that helps me accept and process what I am going through. This is sort of a backwards perspective from a gratitude list, but it gets me to the same place. It helps me to acknowledge that what I am facing is difficult, but that I am a survivor of tougher battles and therefore I can get back up and keep fighting this one.

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TODAY'S CHALLENGE: So, your task for today, and the remainder of the 21 days, is to make a list of everything you are grateful for in your life. List everything over the next month. Include your comfy couch, air conditioning, coffee, friends, and anything else you value. Consider making this a daily or weekly habit for life. Many people find this to be a daily activity that keeps them centered, grounded and able to keep an appropriate perspective. Remember: Nothing is too silly or too small (or even too big). Just set pen to paper (or on your phone) and let whatever comes to mind flow for you. If you think of something you wrote the day before, that’s okay—it’s a good thing to be grateful for the important things every day.

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DAY THIRTEEN

MORNING JOURNALING Choose how you want to feel: How do you want to feel today?

Set your intentions: What are 1-3 things I can do to feel that way?

Journal your thoughts: Define your thoughts, emotions & plans for today.

EVENING JOURNALING Reflect on how you felt: How did you feel today?

Honour your intentions: Did I complete the three things I wanted to do?

Journal your thoughts: Describe your thoughts, emotions & experiences from today.

WHAT MADE ME GROW

WHAT MADE ME GRATEFUL

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DAY FOURTEEN EXERCISE

Exercise is good for you, and therefore, shows that you love yourself when you do it regularly. It is beneficial for your stress levels, heart and lungs, muscles, and metabolism. It’s also good for your self-esteem, and you’ll look better, too. Think of ways you can get some exercise in and enjoy it. You might set up a regular walking date with a friend, take boxing lessons, or play golf. The key to exercising consistently and to make a habit of it, is by scheduling time for it and enjoying it. When you enjoy doing something, it’s easier to do it regularly. How can you enjoy exercising? Think about it and make it happen. If you think of an activity that involves needing another or a group, that’s great! You can stay accountable by regularly including someone else as you build this habit!

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TODAY'S CHALLENGE: Today... think outside of the box: Could you take up dancing lessons? (Hip-hop, line-dancing, swing dancing) What about joining an adult sports league? Think outside of the box and find a community to become a part of. This may help working out to not feel so much like a "have to" or like its exercise.

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DAY FOURTEEN

MORNING JOURNALING Choose how you want to feel: How do you want to feel today?

Set your intentions: What are 1-3 things I can do to feel that way?

Journal your thoughts: Define your thoughts, emotions & plans for today.

EVENING JOURNALING Reflect on how you felt: How did you feel today?

Honour your intentions: Did I complete the three things I wanted to do?

Journal your thoughts: Describe your thoughts, emotions & experiences from today.

WHAT MADE ME GROW

WHAT MADE ME GRATEFUL

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DAY FIFTEEN MAKE PLANS FOR YOUR FUTURE

It’s not enough to just survive. That’s what animals do. You’re a human being with choices. Sit down with a cup of coffee or a glass of wine and plan your future. You deserve to have the life you desire. Let your imagination run wild and create a compelling future. Put your plan on paper. Most importantly, make a plan and do at least one thing each day to make it a reality. That means taking the first step today! There is a lot of power in writing your dreams, but even more in vocalizing them. Share your dream life with people close to you and speak them out loud to yourself too. Say ‘I will travel to Europe,’ 'I will drive a Camaro,’ or ‘I will have a healthy and thriving family’ out loud to yourself and to others. Give your dreams power and weight by making them real. Spend time visualizing your dreams and then take one action each day to get you closer to them.

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TODAY'S CHALLENGE: DO NOT overthink this. Grab a napkin or scratch piece of paper. It is proven that when you write things down, you are more likely to obtain them and are more willing to work for them. Today, write out just 3 things that you want to see in your future.

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DAY FIFTEEN

MORNING JOURNALING Choose how you want to feel: How do you want to feel today?

Set your intentions: What are 1-3 things I can do to feel that way?

Journal your thoughts: Define your thoughts, emotions & plans for today.

EVENING JOURNALING Reflect on how you felt: How did you feel today?

Honour your intentions: Did I complete the three things I wanted to do?

Journal your thoughts: Describe your thoughts, emotions & experiences from today.

WHAT MADE ME GROW

WHAT MADE ME GRATEFUL

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DAY SIXTEEN FORGIVE YOURSELF

You have done plenty of things wrong. Some of them were even intentional. Take comfort in the fact that everyone you know has done the same. You’ve lived and learned. It’s time to let it go and to let yourself off the hook. You’re probably pretty compassionate with most of the people in your life. Be at least as compassionate with yourself. Forgive yourself and move on. The weight of forgiveness when it comes to other people is that it frees you, whether or not it frees them (which is their choice!) Remember this when you are struggling with forgiving yourself. Holding on to something is only weighing you down, hindering you, and making your life harder. Offer yourself forgiveness, offer yourself grace. If you are having a really hard time working past something for a choice you made, consider allowing someone else into the process. This could be a counselor or a trusted friend! When we are courageous enough to not do life alone, beautiful things can happen. One of those is that you are reminded how alike we all are in our battle with failures. Even if they aren't struggling with the same exact thing as you, you know they have struggled just as you have.

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TODAY'S CHALLENGE: Sit down and write a list of every heavy thing that weighs you down. Write down your own failures, the choices or words of other that have hurt you, losses you've endured and anything heavy that comes to mind. Get it all out there and then spend some time sitting with that list. When you are ready, write down one more sentence and then agree to emotionally and mentally free yourself from the chains from anything on your list. Write down "I am forgiven. I forgive myself. I am free from the chains that have been holding me down." Write it down, read it aloud and say it to yourself over and over until you truly believe it and feel the freedom in your body.

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DAY SIXTEEN

MORNING JOURNALING Choose how you want to feel: How do you want to feel today?

Set your intentions: What are 1-3 things I can do to feel that way?

Journal your thoughts: Define your thoughts, emotions & plans for today.

EVENING JOURNALING Reflect on how you felt: How did you feel today?

Honour your intentions: Did I complete the three things I wanted to do?

Journal your thoughts: Describe your thoughts, emotions & experiences from today.

WHAT MADE ME GROW

WHAT MADE ME GRATEFUL

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DAY SEVENTEEN STOP SEEKING APPROVAL

When you do things to make others view you in a certain way, you’re sending a message to yourself that the truth is insufficient. You can be kind, but don’t be kind just so others will view you as kind. Just be kind. There’s a significant difference between being a good person and being a person that wants to be seen as good. It’s okay if you’re a little impatient, messy, or don’t like the local NFL team. It's okay if you're a total clean-freak, you go crazy for sports and you hate pizza. Be honest about who you are. Everyone that loves you will still be around. Anyone you lose doesn’t belong in your life anyway. Prove to yourself that you are good enough just the way you are. It’s a much less exhausting way to live. Agree that your worth is not tied to anything about you and that as you are, you are enough. Add that statement to your daily affirmations: “Just as I am, I am enough.”

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TODAY'S CHALLENGE: One of the greatest ways to help yourself stop seeking approval is to become aware of how often you are doing it. Pay special attention today to the moments and conversations where you feel the need to adjust your truth to either fit in or please those around you.

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DAY SEVENTEEN

MORNING JOURNALING Choose how you want to feel: How do you want to feel today?

Set your intentions: What are 1-3 things I can do to feel that way?

Journal your thoughts: Define your thoughts, emotions & plans for today.

EVENING JOURNALING Reflect on how you felt: How did you feel today?

Honour your intentions: Did I complete the three things I wanted to do?

Journal your thoughts: Describe your thoughts, emotions & experiences from today.

WHAT MADE ME GROW

WHAT MADE ME GRATEFUL

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DAY EIGHTEEN SIT BY YOURSELF

Some people, and you might be one of them, can’t stand to be in their own company. They always have to be stimulated by something else. Whether it’s the TV, the internet, the radio in the car or a book, they can’t just sit with themselves. Have you ever wondered why you need those things in your life? The best way to find out why is to take a break from them. The next time you’re driving alone, turn off your phone and avoid listening to the radio. Notice what happens. With practice, you can be great company for yourself. Instead of avoiding this time, lean in to this discovery. Sit with yourself for at least 10 minutes each day and see what you uncover. Add your discovery to your gratitude list—either that you are grateful for a change in perspective or just that you have identified an area to grow in your life. Share this discovery with someone who loves you!

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TODAY'S CHALLENGE: Today there are a few things you can do to stretch yourself. Be 'alone' in your car, sit by yourself for the 10 minutes... but if you really want to grow, try something that might seem a little odd: Strike up a conversation with someone about how they view 'sitting by yourself'. Tell them you're in this challenge and want to know how they feel about the topic.

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DAY EIGHTEEN

MORNING JOURNALING Choose how you want to feel: How do you want to feel today?

Set your intentions: What are 1-3 things I can do to feel that way?

Journal your thoughts: Define your thoughts, emotions & plans for today.

EVENING JOURNALING Reflect on how you felt: How did you feel today?

Honour your intentions: Did I complete the three things I wanted to do?

Journal your thoughts: Describe your thoughts, emotions & experiences from today.

WHAT MADE ME GROW

WHAT MADE ME GRATEFUL

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DAY NINETEEN SLEEP

Few things will do more for your health, attitude, and happiness than getting at least seven hours of sleep each night. Even if you think you only need 4-6 hours, try giving yourself a full seven for a week and note the changes in how you feel and function. Take a nap. Sleep in. Go to bed earlier. There are times when the best thing you can do to love yourself is to go to bed. We all have a handful of excuses ready to go as to why we can’t get enough sleep. It may be catching a rerun of Rocky or The Notebook, cleaning the house, taking care of kiddos or maybe dealing with difficult, important life transitions. Whatever may be on your list, put the excuses away and give yourself a chance to feel the difference. Make a plan today to get those seven hours of sleep in each night for at least a week.

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TODAY'S CHALLENGE: Most people fall into 1 of 2 categories: You either tend to get good sleep or you struggle to sleep well. If you sleep well, be thankful that rest is not something you struggle with, If you do struggle with sleep, make a commitment today to do something about it. It is difficult to track what you don't record. Have a set journal or note on your phone specifically for your sleep notes.

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DAY NINETEEN

MORNING JOURNALING Choose how you want to feel: How do you want to feel today?

Set your intentions: What are 1-3 things I can do to feel that way?

Journal your thoughts: Define your thoughts, emotions & plans for today.

EVENING JOURNALING Reflect on how you felt: How did you feel today?

Honour your intentions: Did I complete the three things I wanted to do?

Journal your thoughts: Describe your thoughts, emotions & experiences from today.

WHAT MADE ME GROW

WHAT MADE ME GRATEFUL

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DAY TWENTY SET AND MAINTAIN BOUNDARIES

When you don’t love yourself, you put up with a lot of mistreatment. You might be worried that others will be upset or won’t like you if you start saying “no” to certain things. Regardless of how hard you try to make everyone happy, you will still fail at it. You can’t please everyone, but you can please yourself. When you tolerate things you don’t like, you feel resentful and drained. The solution is to learn to say “no” and be assertive. Let the world know what you need. You’ll gain the respect of others and feel better about yourself. A simple fact is that we don’t get to control others, but we do get to control ourselves. Preserve your mental health by placing your needs before the needs of others. We do have to sacrifice sometimes for our family, but be cautious spreading yourself too thin for everyone. Remember that anyone you lose due to setting boundaries is not worth keeping in your life.

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TODAY'S CHALLENGE: Boundaries can be tough to talk about because we all hold such different points of view. What goes on the list of what is acceptable and comfortable for me may not go on your list at all. Today, think of 5 of your closest relationships. Write down their name and process whether or not you think you have healthy boundaries with these people or not.

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DAY TWENTY

MORNING JOURNALING Choose how you want to feel: How do you want to feel today?

Set your intentions: What are 1-3 things I can do to feel that way?

Journal your thoughts: Define your thoughts, emotions & plans for today.

EVENING JOURNALING Reflect on how you felt: How did you feel today?

Honour your intentions: Did I complete the three things I wanted to do?

Journal your thoughts: Describe your thoughts, emotions & experiences from today.

WHAT MADE ME GROW

WHAT MADE ME GRATEFUL

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DAY TWENTY ONE DO ONE THING YOU KNOW YOU NEED TO DO

Avoid procrastinating on the important things. Whether it’s filing your taxes, going to the dentist, or making a tough phone call, just do it. You lose self-respect and self-esteem when you willingly fail to manage your responsibilities. One of those things for me that I knew I needed to be doing was drinking water. I know. How hard can that be? But it was a serious struggle of mine for many years. (You can ask my roommates.) I knew I needed to be drinking water for my physical and emotional health, but I struggled to make the habit. Then one day I finally decided I had had enough and made a commitment to myself. I went and bought a huge, bright blue water bottle, and promised to keep it with me all the time. Now I don't struggle with drinking water and that bottle goes everywhere with me. I just had to do something intentional to help me build the habit and I also invited others in to help me stay accountable. (Yes, I definitely recruited friends to check in on my water consumption during the beginning.)

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TODAY'S CHALLENGE: Today, make a list of the things you’ve been avoiding and get at least one of them done. Then, focus on how good it felt to get that task completed. Imagine how great you would feel in general if you regularly did whatever needed to be done. Begin making a habit of listing the things you need to do and then doing them. Focus here on that great feeling of accomplishment that you get rather than on the activities or just having a list in general.

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DAY TWENTY ONE

MORNING JOURNALING Choose how you want to feel: How do you want to feel today?

Set your intentions: What are 1-3 things I can do to feel that way?

Journal your thoughts: Define your thoughts, emotions & plans for today.

EVENING JOURNALING Reflect on how you felt: How did you feel today?

Honour your intentions: Did I complete the three things I wanted to do?

Journal your thoughts: Describe your thoughts, emotions & experiences from today.

WHAT MADE ME GROW

WHAT MADE ME GRATEFUL

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REFLECTIONS

WHAT DID YOU DISCOVER? What did you discover about yourself during the challenge? Use this space to

reflect on how you felt before and after participating in the challenge

LIFE BEFORE THE CHALLENGE

LIFE AFTER THE CHALLENGE

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REFLECTIONS

ANY FINAL THOUGHTS? Write down any other thoughts you have using the space below. Describe your

gratitudes, realizations, emotions, lessons & experiences from the challenge!

REFLECTING ON THE JOURNEY

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21 Kick-Start To Loving Yourself  

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21 Kick-Start To Loving Yourself  

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