20 THINGS Iwisheveryoneknew aboutTheHamptons
Twenty thousand of you are here now.
That's twenty thousand people who've chosen to slow down, pay attention, and experience the Hamptons the way it's meant to be experienced with intention, curiosity, and a little bit of insider knowledge.
I started sharing about this place because I genuinely love it. The seasonal rhythms, the small moments, the spots that matter beyond the hype.
And it turns out, you love it too. Whether you live here, visit often, or dream of making this place yours someday, you ' re here because you want the real story—not the highlight reel, not the tourist version, but the truth about what makes the Hamptons so special.
This guide is my thank you. Twenty insights I wish everyone knew the kind of things you only learn by living here, watching the seasons change, and paying attention to how this place actually works. Some are practical, some are philosophical, all of them are true. Here's to the next twenty thousand moments that make you fall a little more in love with this place.
20 Things I Wish Everyone
Knew About the Hamptons
It's really hard to "do" the Hamptons in a weekend. People come out and try to hit every hot spot, spend half their time in traffic, and end up exhausted and disappointed. Slow down. Pick a town or two. Let yourself actually experience it.
Traffic isn't just an inconvenience— it will derail your entire plan if you ' re trying to see everything. That 20-minute drive between towns? It's an hour in July. You can't outrun it, so build your days around it.
Thursday afternoons are the new Friday. Especially on holiday weekends, Thursday traffic rivals (and sometimes beats) Friday. Plan accordingly.
There's more to the Hamptons than the viral TikTok spots.
Yes, they're popular for a reason—but save those for weekdays or off-season. During peak summer, the lesser-known spots will give you a much better experience.
I've been here 13 years. Got married here. Had my kids at Southampton Hospital. I'm still considered a transplant. There's a deep-rooted community here that goes back generations, and that's part of what makes this place special.
Every town has its own vibe, rhythm, and community. Montauk feels nothing like Southampton. Springs feels nothing like East Hampton Village. Sag Harbor is its own world. You can't experience "the Hamptons" as one thing you have to explore each place on its own terms.
The pace here moves slower, even in summer. The city is all hurried energy the Hamptons isn't. People move slower, meals last longer, everything takes a little more time. As a visitor, be respectful of that. And honestly? Lean into it. That's the whole point.
I'm shocked by how many people spend an entire summer here and never go to the beach. I love Hamptons life the dinners, the wine bars, the farm stands—but to me, that includes morning coffee at the beach, Saturdays with the family in the sand, Sunday sunsets on the bay.
There are many "sides" to the Hamptons: beach life, boat life, surf life. Each one shows you a completely different rhythm and perspective. In recent years we ' ve been exploring more by boat, and it's changed how we see the whole place.
Where the Hamptons "begins and ends" has been debated forever.
Some say it starts at Southampton and ends before Montauk. Some say Westhampton to Montauk, including Shelter Island. I think it's a silly status grab. Every area is special and beautiful— if you love a place, it shouldn't matter what people call it.
That said, the stretch from Westhampton to Montauk is LONG. It's impossible to explore it all in a short trip and feel like you really experienced it. Give yourself time, or pick your focus.
Every April and May, places close and new places open. There's controversy, excitement, grumbling it's part of the annual rhythm here. And while I'm always rooting for local businesses, it is fun to have fresh spots to explore every year.
Summer is prime time, but the offseason is incredible. Winter is long, grey, and cold but even winter has something to offer (snow on the beach is magic). Spring and fall? Unmatched.
Some of the best times to visit are the shoulders late May/early June before school lets out, and September after Labor Day. You get the beauty, the warmth, the open restaurants without the crowds or the traffic.
Memorial Day weekend is when everything flips. Thursday before feels like spring. Monday after feels like full summer. It's the unofficial start, and you feel it everywhere.
The Hamptons is and isn't what you see on TV. Yes, there's drama and glitz and all of that. But there's also small-town charm, friendly people, incredible food and wine, deep culture, and so much beauty. Both things are true.
The ocean and the bay are two completely different experiences. Ocean is dramatic, energizing, powerful. Bay is calm, restorative, gentle. You need both.
The local produce, seafood, and wine here are unmatched.
We're talking some of the best farms, vineyards, orchards, flower stands, and roadside stops you'll find anywhere. It all tastes better than anything you'll get at a grocery store and my favorite meals are the ones made entirely from what's grown, caught, and made right here. When you eat and drink local, you ' re tasting the place itself.
You will have a favorite town, and the experience will change as your life evolves. We still love Montauk with kids, but we ' re not staying out all night or trying to get into the Surf Lodge on July 4th weekend anymore. You see different sides to the places you love as your life changes and that's part of what makes this place so rich.
You don't need to do everything or go everywhere. Picking a few favorite spots and really sinking into them? That's actually the move. That's when this place starts to feel like yours.
Thank you for being here...
... for following along, and for trusting me with your weekends, your questions, and your dreams of life in the Hamptons. I love sharing what makes this place so special, and I'm so grateful to call it home and even more grateful that you ' re part of this community. If you ever have questions, need a recommendation, or just want to share your favorite Hamptons moment, my DMs are always open.
