A Note To My Past Self

Compiled by: Alyse Messmer Illustrated by: Sage Zbinden

College is a time filled with lots of growth, especially for young people as they are thrown out of the comfort of their family home into a life of independence, surprise and uncertainty. For many, looking back on their lives and some of the difficult times they’ve faced shows them more clearly how they have learned what they know, become who they are, and how their stories can help encourage others.

Hey Matt,

One day you are going to hear about imposter and it’s going to take a huge weight will go by faster than you realize. When I heard about this from a friend, who is a lot smarter, it helped to bring acceptance to the way I feel about big things in life. With imposter syndrome you feel like your achievements aren’t your own — that you are not adequate enough. You feel like a fraud and you feel like you don’t deserve or haven’t earned your success or achievements.

For me (and you) that feeling was the U.S. Army. You didn’t feel like you could complete basic training, and after you did it, you felt like it was just dumb luck. You feel that with your EMT, you feel like you can’t do what it takes when the time comes, but you, and you doubt yourself every time.

We got into the nursing program, finally. You will feel like you are not supposed to be there, as if they feel made a mistake taking you.

Same story, same feelings, but different stage in life. That’s when your friend comes in and explains imposter syndrome. Suddenly, the way you feel makes more sense. You’ll still have hard feelings about yourself, but it’s not so scary anymore. It’s a worry you can take off and give to God — a worry that you didn’t even realize you were carrying, but it was always there.

Stop and reflect, lighten the load and release that burden. Psalm 139:14: “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Matt, you give lip service to your faith, but you don’t walk by your faith. Go all in. Commit fully to God and what he asks of you. You can do the things you feel called to do.

— Matt Rankin, senior nursing major

Dear Younger Grantham,

Prepare to be surprised. Every time you say you are not going to do something or decide you are not going to go somewhere, God will surprise you. Remember your roots but continue to be adventurous. Pride is worthless and it doesn’t get you very far. Overall, just remember to value the spiritual needs of others and don’t miss out on the opportunities God has placed in front of you.

— Grantham Wash, sophomore Christian studies major

Dear Vera,

Almost four years is a lot of time, but it isn’t. It will go by faster than you realize. The worst thing you can do is use it foolishly. If nothing else, know this: Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone. That’s a cliché, but it’s true — go to that event by yourself, take that class that you said you wouldn’t, lift those heavy weights. Those are the things that you will remember and that will grow you.

Also, water and sleep are your best friends. You need more of them than you know, and you won’t be able to think clearly without them. Even as much as we want to think coffee will counteract a lack of both, it doesn’t.

Most importantly, know and trust that God is good and faithful. He will always provide you what you need when you need it, whether it’s time, money or even just the energy to get through the day. Choose to trust him every day and that will be enough.

— Vera Tuan, senior accounting major

Dear Past Self,

Be more outgoing, be open to meeting new people and to getting involved in living area events. Get out of your comfort zone and apply for student leadership early in college, because student leadership can foster some amazing friendships and can teach you how to serve and love others well.

Use this opportunity to be surrounded by a Christian community, to get involved with other Christ-loving people and to invest in others while being invested in. The benefit and relationships that could come from a small Bible study on campus could truly affect your pursuit of God.

I would like to tell you ahead of time that life might get complicated and tough, but it will continue to get better. Find friends to open up to and allow them to be a part of your struggles and rough patches that will encourage you throughout any season in your life. Even when school gets hard, keep pursuing nursing and do not give up, even when nursing may seem impossible to obtain. Trust that God has a plan for you and it’s even better than you can even think. better than you can even think.

— Nikki Gordon, senior nursing major ◆