Possible Truth issue #1

Issue #1 released some time in 2008

By Max Jasper and possible others Editor: William Jasper

Possibletruth™

Space Dwarves: Fact or crap?

Barnyard battle Cow vs. Rooster

See more page 2

page 3

See this and much more inside this issue of

Possible Truth ™

Hello possible readers. This is my very first issue of Possible Truth magazine, I hope ya like it. For those of you that don’t know or were to dumb to read the cover, my name is Max Jasper. I do this magazine all by my self and that’s why it will probably take forever to make issue 2. It would be nice if you could send in poems, short stories, and pictures.

Also, if you are trying to sell something or get people to notice something, then just talk to me and give me a copy of the desired advertisement and I will put it into the magazine. And, because I’m so cheap, I will charge you two cents per word and 5 per picture (unless I give you a discount). Every issue I will try to put in a contest for art or stories. Well that’s ‘bout it.

See ya, Max Jasper P.S. My email is

DISCOBEAR360@hotmail.com

Space Dwarves, fact or crap?

Real picture of a space dwarf By: Max Jasper

It has recently come to my attention that there are aliens living among us. But, no, they aren’t what we expected, they are an entire race of dwarves that steal and wear our astronaut suits. We haven’t had a good picture of their face yet because every time we pull out a camera, then BAM, they put on a chicken mask and run away as fast as their stubby little legs can carry them.

Mrs. Irene McPoodlesalad of Salisbury, OK said that she “caught one of the little

*beeeeeep* but he put on his space suit and flew away (in) his hamburger”. Our (my) only idea of what happened is that she should really call alcoholics anonymous to see when their next session is because she is loopy.

Please wait until next time for the conclusion of Space Dwarves, Fact or Crap.

Cow

Vs.

Rooster

Once again by: Max Jasper

I am sure you are all hanging on the edge of wherever you are sitting because this will be the best article ever! Well, I’ll tell you because you have been such a good person this year. It started out on September 1 st, 2008 when Cow got out of his pen and wandered into the chicken coop “accidentally” crushing and eating all of the eggs. When Mr. Rooster discovered this, he was furious. He confronted Cow the next day and challenged

him to a fight to the death, Cow accepted.

Right before the fight both Cow and Rooster decided to blame it on the butler and they beat him to death with pillows. Sorry, I got you thinking that this was a good article but it really wasn’t. It really wasn’t good at all.

Sorry.

RUBBER DUCKS ATTACK Portsmouth New Hampshire By: Max Jasper

On September 23, 2008 at 12:00 pm an anonymous phone call came in to the local police station saying that 10 rubber ducks were destroying the park. When the police arrived at the scene, everything was perfectly normal except for the fact that the park was

pretty much dead and instead of 10 ducks they saw hundreds just sitting there staring back at them. It was the opening day for the play “Billy Steals and Breaks Things.”

Hundreds of people had shown up but no one was there at the moment. The police found a wounded old man hiding under the stage mumbling to himself. He was nearly arrested for vagrancy until his wounds turned yellow, expanded around his whole body, and shrunk him. Yes, he became a rubber duck. The Duck virus is highly contagious and you should stay away from everybody. The Dvirus is both airborne and tactile so avoid breathing or touching things. There is no cure. We are all doomed.

The Airplane Written by: Max Jasper Billy, a 40 year old, unemployed, videogame addict loved to play video games and loved every kind of video game imaginable. As long as he was moving someone on a screen blasting bad guys or keeping a pony alive, then he was happy. He was going on an airplane to visit some online buddies in Portugal because he didn’t have any friends that

he actually met offline. While going through airplane security some guy took his things and kicked him really hard for no reason.

He had nothing to do while on the plane, so he used a little handheld game system that he “borrowed” from some kid. The game system had no cartridge in it so he walked around the plane in search of anything that would work as a game. He finally decided to go into the cockpit where he found a small game cartridge labeled “AIRPLANE”. He stole the game and went back to his seat.

When he popped it in, the screen flashed and the game started right away.

He thought that this was strange but he tried it anyway. He was looking out of the front windshield of an airplane. He moved his fingers across the control pad.

The airplane, both in and out of the game, started shaking. He pressed the B button and both of the airplanes sped up.

He thought to himself: “I wonder if I could get to Portugal

faster if I held down B?” He did that, not realizing that the plane was tilted forward. About five seconds later, the plane was smashed into a small village just 10 minutes away from his destination.

“Oh crap,” said Billy.

Drawings, Art, Pictures, and Other Crap!

Sadly, issue 1 is boring because this magazine is brand new and nobody has submitted anything so I’ll just put in a random, stupid picture…

…of my cat that you will see again in the comics.

I forgot to mention that we will also have an advice column. You can send in anonymous letters to our advice specialist whose name I haven’t come up with yet. Here’s a sample letter.

Dear ________, I have a problem with my friend.

Whenever I sleep over at her house she always… um… shoves dirty socks in my mouth when I sleep.

Sincerely, Anonymous Um… you get the picture but actually send in good and real letters.

And then I… I mean SHE will reply.

Dear sock mouth, I think that the only solution is that you should maybe STOP sleeping over at her house if she is crazy enough to do that.

Sincerely,

STOP… Its comic time!

The next page or two would usually have

poems or other stuff, but for now we won’t have a single poem since this magazine is all shiny and new. Hee hee I like shiny.

Now for the advertisements Shop at Thompson Inc. They have what you need, when you need it! Short on school supplies such as pencils? You wont be for long. Now stop being lazy, find Silas Thompson, and buy something! (But only available at my school sorry anyone else who is reading this) WANTED: new ads for my magazine contact Max at DISCOBEAR360@hotmail.com.

That’s all for now.

Don’t cry we’ll be back soon.