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WELCOME TO JANUARY 2018... FRESH START, NEW BEGINNINGS Words Dan and James Hutton
elcome to the January 2018 edition of The Beast – the monthly magazine for Sydney’s Beaches of the East - and a happy New Year to you all! Local actor and Flickerfest ambassador Anna Bamford graces our cover this month. Anna has starred alongside screen giant Cate Blanchett and has an impressive television career with roles in Wonderland and Home and Away. In local news, Angira Bharadwaj has filed a piece outlining the new campaign for a new public high school in the Eastern Suburbs. The options for local parents who can’t afford to send their kids to private school are very limited at present and there seems to be plenty of support for the movement. Siriol Dafydd has written an article about the rules regarding alcohol consumption on our beaches and public parks this summer, with particular reference to the Australia
6 The Beast | January 2018
Day public holiday. If you’re keen to celebrate the day with a few cold ones, save yourself the hassle and either go to a pub or drink at home. In light of the recent purchase of Bondi’s iconic Royal Hotel by Justin Hemmes’ Merivale Group, Waverley Councillor Dr Marjorie O’Neill has penned a piece on the importance of these establishments to the local community, providing an interesting and balanced perspective from a local resident who was born and bred in the Eastern Suburbs and has been around long enough to see the area experience significant change. Bronte’s favourite son, Duncan ‘The Horse’ Horscroft, has taken an arvo away from his ever-expanding army of grandkids to write about Bondi Beach’s recent recognition as a National Surfing Reserve, thanks to the hard work of locals like John Sullivan. National Surfing Reserve status officially acknowledges the
local community’s long-term association with the beach and the surf, and Bondi’s place as one of Australia’s greatest surfing locations. In local history, John Hamilton caught up with Sandy Harbutt, director of 1970s Aussie cult film, Stone. In their interview, Sandy remembers the day that career stuntman Peter Armstrong took a death-defying motorbike leap off an 80 foot cliff near Lurline Bay - a spectacular stunt that would never be attempted today. Thanks again to everyone involved in the production and delivery of our little local publication each month, thanks to the local business owners and management teams for putting your faith in us to promote your businesses to local residents and visitors to the area, and thanks to all of our loyal readers for taking the time to enjoy The Beast. Dan and James - Publishers
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January 2018 Issue 156 06 09 10 12 18 20 22 22 24 25
Welcome Note Contents Pearls of Wisdom Monthly Mailbag Local Bloke Local Chick Thumbs Doggie Rescue Local News Beastpops
40 42 43 44 50 52 54 56 58 60
Satire Calendar Trade Directory Interview Local History Unreliable Guide Sporting Life Fish ‘n’ Tips Tide Chart Headnoise
The man and the sea, by Giulia Iannace, Instagram @redseventeenstudio.
62 64 66 68 70 72 76 80 82 82
Enviro News Sexy Time Travel Bug Local Photos Reviews Arts Bits Food & Wine Trivial Trivia Beardy From Hell Trivia Solutions
Proof that Yanks are even more stupid than us.
2017: A YEAR TO FORGET Words Pearl Bullivant Picture Vladimir Putin
earl is no oracle, but while casting my prophetic eye back over 2017 I realised my favourite fruit, the humble blueberry, had proven to be my crystal ball. Being demoted from its number one position in the List of Super Foods for 2017 and cast aside for some slimy, vile fermentation, the blueberry was a harbinger of the madness ahead. 2017’s tone was set early with the inauguration of President Trump, the man sent down by God to assist the wealthy and neo-conservatives regain their rightful place at the helm of the world after the long-haired lefties had destroyed it under Obama. With a few mass shootings thrown in to prove the NRA were still in control, America had returned to its nut-job glory. And, with America being Australia’s closest ally and social barometer, it was only right that our politicians should follow Trump’s lead on social and ecological degradation in 2017. First off the block was the announcement in January that Centrelink would expand its unethical data match-
10 The Beast | January 2018
ing debt recovery system, a move which failed to receive publicity, with the media instead deeming welfare recipients far more worthy of Ray Hadley’s talkback wrath than tabloid newsprint. While the Federal Government continued its reign of terror on society’s most vulnerable, it hypocritically allowed directors of liquated companies to escape liability for $1.6 billion of unpaid wages, leaving taxpayers to foot the bill of Maserati-driving bankrupts. And, as I write this column, it has been revealed that ExxonMobil has paid zero tax on its revenue of $18 billion. Next on my radar for 2017 was the future of the Great Barrier Reef, one of the Seven Wonders of the Natural World, which is set to be sacrificed, along with Queensland’s ground water (which is being provided for free), so that a dubious company called Adani can export coal from their Carmichael mine to India. Funny that this “poverty-busting miracle” of capitalism will require taxpayer funding to destroy this precious gift from nature, along with the Queensland tourism industry.
And, talking of taxpayer funding, what about the $160 million marriage equality plebiscite? Australia has conveniently overlooked the man responsible for this malarkey, John Howard, who in 2004 amended the Marriage Act to exclude gay couples. Dare I suggest the Federal Government recover the plebiscite’s cost from Johnny by garnisheeing his parliamentary pension and speaker engagement fees? And, when it comes to being overlooked, Julie Bishop (who should go down in history as the lawyer who represented CSR in its fight against asbestosis compensation) was at her diplomatic best trusting that Donald Trump would “find new and creative ways to deal with North Korea,” while accusing the Prime Minister of NZ of meddling in Australia’s citizenship debacle. It was when this ridiculous debacle resulted in an indigenousidentifying woman losing her seat, while Matthias Cormann retained his, that I knew that I should have succumbed to fermented slop and taken up Goat Yoga! Happy 2018 Australia! Keep on Rocking in the Free World!
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THE BEAST'S MONTHLY MAILBAG Words The People of the Eastern Suburbs KATE'S GREAT Congratulations on your excellent cover story on Kate McClymont in the December 2017 edition of The Beast. Kate is a truly inspirational investigative journalist who has done so much to expose serious political and corporate corruption in New South Wales, often at great risk to her career and personal safety. Great to see she hasn't lost her sense of humour along the way and enjoys our neighbourhood too. Your profile highlighted the significant obstacles impeding the work of people like Kate, most importantly the high cost of ASIC and property searches. Why does Australia, unlike other developed economies, continue to charge for information that is essential for such investigations? Quite clearly this is a false economy, if you consider Australia's history of financial and political scandals. At a time when both Federal and State governments are slashing ICAC budgets, the efforts of people like Kate become even more vital, so it was a relief to read she has no plans to close up her laptop any time soon. Jennifer Kitchener Bondi Beach HIRE BIKE DISGRACE Dear Beast - Arriving home after an overseas holiday, we find hire bikes strewn over the pathways, leant against fences, and always looking abandoned. Normally our council would slap a sign on discarded items and fine the owners, so why, oh why, has Randwick Council allowed these hire bike companies to litter our streets with their bikes? It is interesting to note that Holland, the home of the bike, has had to bring in special legislation to deal with these same style of hire bikes, part of
12 The Beast | January 2018
which is that they must have stands or locales to dock them or they will have the bikes confiscated and a fine will need to be paid for their return. When share cars and GoGet came into the area, they had copious amounts of legislation to deal with. When it’s bikes there seems to be a total lack of thought, legislation, or monitoring done. Shame on you councillors, littering our streets. Margaret Coogee PLENTY OF ROOM FOR BUBBLERS When opening the new change rooms, toilets, and showers at Coogee Beach, the then mayor stated that they were a “well designed facility”. In the entrance to the facility there are sixteen taps over a large basin, but not one of these taps is a drinking bubbler. The nearest drinking bubbler, I was advised by Randwick Council, is in Goldstein Reserve, which is up a flight of steps on street level. This is quite a hike for young children, the elderly, and anyone with a handicap. There is plenty of room to put drinking bubblers on the beach level! Is this Randwick Council strictly enforcing the ‘no drinking on the beach’ rule? Get serious Randwick Council and improve your “well designed facility”. Graham Russell Clovelly RESPONSE TO DONALD OCKHAM Thanks for your response to my article Donald (Letters, The Beast, December 2017). A few quick questions: Do you eat fish? Do you eat sashimi or tinned tuna? Do you realise that each year over 5,000 tonnes of southern bluefin tuna are sanctioned to be caught by DPI Fisheries
Management by commercial anglers in Australian waters for the domestic and international market? This image that upsets you is of one angler with one 130kg fish, which was respectfully caught, respectfully dispatched of, and carefully cut up to provide meals and sustenance to over 100 people. The photo and the article were specifically chosen to bring some intelligent discussion to the situation of the bluefin tuna population which, through careful management, is on the slow increase. Your call for The Beast to be more discerning with their choice of contributors is offensive to me, coming from someone who probably doesn't fish and doesn't know the first thing about what they're writing - just simply adding to the Nanny State knee-jerk reactions of your aging counterparts by blabbing based on emotions rather than facts and data. If I'm wrong I'd love to hear more from you on what you've read about sustainable fishing science and the plight of the southern bluefin tuna. Dan Trotter Bondi DISGRACEFUL Hello - I am taking the time to write this mail because I have been very offended by your December calendar of events. On page 42, you can see a picture of a dirty pig dribbling to represent the Food Addicts Anonymous meetings. It is so disrespectful and disgraceful to do that! Food addiction is not a joke. I am waiting for a written apology from the events publisher and I will make sure that this page will go viral. Morgan Coogee MIDDLE-AGED MEN IN LYCRA D Richards of Clovelly rightly points out the total disregard with which the bike hire ‘companies’ treat the community by littering the streets with their rubbish yellow and red bikes (Letters, The Beast, December 2017). I’m at a loss as to how they make a profit; I have had two bikes sitting outside my home for two months - makes one wonder what they are really up to. The other issue is the lycra lads. I walk every day at Centennial Park and the MAMILs (middle-aged men in lycra) treat the park as their own private racing and training facility.
God help pedestrians, animals, or vehicles that get in their way. No leniency is shown; a mouthful of vitriol, hand gestures, and threats being the result of impeding their hairbrained antics in any manner. I wonder when these so-called intelligent people will realise that if they have a collision they will be the ones seriously injured. Chas Watts Coogee STILL A LONG WAY TO GO Dear James and Dan - This is a congratulatory note to you. The ‘Yes’ vote has been achieved. The ABC had no other news, The Beast will probably have comments as well. Watching television yesterday, I was pleased for all the smiling faces and remarks. One particularly arrested my attention; one person said something like this: “Yes, I can say I'm pleased... but there is a long way to go...” I'm sitting back and waiting. Always love The Beast, both of you, and darling, sensible Pearl. Many good wishes for the coming season. Francine Address not supplied ON YER BIKE I just moved with my family back to Sydney (I was born here, but left 49 years ago). The first thing that I did was to buy a scooter. It is the best way to move around cities, especially Sydney, a traffic congested city with poor infrastructure but definitely great weather. I have been driving motorbikes, scooters, and bicycles in many different countries including Italy, UK, Germany, and Singapore, and I am shocked about how difficult it is here for whoever decides to leave the car at home and jump on the two-wheelers. The last drop that made me write this letter was that I got stopped by the police at one traffic light in Tamarama. The reason was that I overtook a truck that had stopped at the traffic light, leaving a big gap on its left for me to pass safely. I explained to the policeman that the reason I did it was because I got all its fumes on my face. The policeman did not care about my explanation and went on citing how many rules I broke and how dangerous my manoeuvre was! I still fail to see his reasons as I do not see how overtaking a stationary truck at 2 kilometres per hour
14 The Beast | January 2018
is dangerous. I feel more outraged that trucks like this are permitted to smog our environment and are free to circulate in residential areas, against the trend in all big cities, which are outlawing or charging them heavily, or at least imposing strict circulation times. Anyway, the policeman was there for a kill; he was waiting for scooters to commit a mistake. So, here are my thoughts on this matter: first, the Police in Sydney are there not to protect you, but only to sanction, especially with motorbikes. Second, the environment is super aggressive versus the two-wheeler, and car drivers are usually unaware of them, or even annoyed by their presence on ‘their’ roads (most of the time they will block you if they can). And, last but not least, the community and authorities do not support this mode of transport with positive campaigns, more parking spots (it's very difficult to park in the CBD, for example) and preferential roads, especially for bicycles. I would love to see more people using the two-wheelers for their everyday life commitments, thus minimising wasted time in traffic and actually helping to reduce it. Christian Porath Tamarama RECIPE QUERY Hi there - A member of our organisation rang to find out where “gluten free” oats can be sourced in Australia (as per the “Lunch Box Friendly Choc Chip Oat Cookies” recipe in your November 2017 edition). Unfortunately there is no such thing here, as our food standard does not permit oats to be labelled “gluten free”. This does differ to other countries’ food legislation, hence the confusion. Our position statement on oats may help to explain the concern with this recipe: https://www.coeliac.org. au/uploads/65701/ufiles/Position_ Statements/CAPSOats.pdf If you receive any queries about this from your readers, please feel free to direct them to us. Penny Dellsperger Technical Officer - Coeliac Australia CHRISTMAS ELECTRICITY COSTS Attention Pearl Bullivant - A suggestion in response to last month's article (It Is Easy Being Green, The Beast, December 2017): 1. Set up a site near the fitness equipment at North Bondi Surf Club.
2. Install a bike-generator to illuminate displays for peoples’ charity of choice - St Vincent de Paul, the Red Cross, surf clubs, or a sponsored Christmas tree, etc. 3. Get all those fitness addicts who frequent the area to get on the bike to keep the lights on. 4. Charge them an entry fee for their efforts on a ‘weight-for-age’ basis, and an auctioned time slot for ‘specials’ like New Years Eve, but rebate the cost to the winning participant, and publish all the names and times achieved. Reg Seally Bondi NOT SO TRIVIAL TRIVIA “Question 2: Who was the youngest ever number 1 ranked tennis player?” Martina Hingis became the youngest tennis player to be ranked number 1 on March 31, 1997, at age 16 years and 5 months. She has our Lleyton cover by over four years. Given the casual sexism of this error, it might be an idea to prepare a correction for the January issue. Tim Coghlan Waverley DODGY FOXES There have been a number of sightings of foxes around Maroubra and Coogee in recent weeks, so the letter in your December edition (Fox on Coogee Beach) is on trend. But I would like to know more about the writer’s mates he regularly runs with, particularly the alert mate, Richard, who said, “There's a fox running along the beach.” I would like to know what are the mates’ businesses, where they are located, and if any of them are the principals of their businesses. After all, if it is good enough for the letter writer to get free advertising for his business, then why not his mates, too? Come to think of it, in future, all principals of local businesses should start their letters off that way, nothing like free advertising. Lionel Maroubra (retired, no need to advertise) R.I.P. MORE GREEN SPACE Dear Editor - Both Waverley Labor and Greens campaigned promising more green space. The slogan, “More Green Space,” featured prominently on the Greens election flyer. So it is ironic that one of the first acts of Waverley’s new Labor/Greens council is to kill off the possibility of
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acres of extra green space. Where? Adjacent to Bondi Beach. How? By voting to not even explore the option of relocating the car park underground. How much green space have we lost? Queen Elizabeth Drive and Park Parade occupies 17,595 square metres, based on a width of 15.3 metres and length of 1150 metres, so 1.75 hectares of potential extra green space is gone for the community. Turning the overground car park into recreational space would’ve given us extra parkland. We could’ve had extra tables and seating, as well as room to expand the overcrowded playground and outdoor gym. We would’ve removed a dangerous pedestrian hazard where kids are jumping in front of oncoming cars as they cross to the beach. Many drivers are not adhering to the 10 kilometres per hour limit and not looking straight ahead while driving past the Pavilion, making it unsafe - especially when children try to run across. A tree-shaded pedestrian boulevard on Queen Elizabeth Drive would’ve provided much needed relief from the heat, especially important for the elderly in summer, and overcrowding on the current promenade would’ve been eased. An urban heat island would’ve been removed. Park Parade, behind the Pavilion, could've been a tree-shaded parkland. Instead, Council has decided to maintain a concrete eyesore that belongs in the 1920s. Never mind that most visitors arrive by public transport, and will increasingly do so in a city whose population is growing rapidly. Actually, my preference is for the underground car park to not be built at all, but have the overground car park turned into green space nonetheless. However, knowing the attitude of some local motorists, the loss of hundreds of car parking spaces is probably not realistic. These motorists have complained loudly about walking an extra minute or two from an underground car park, so God only knows what their reaction would be if the car spaces were removed. I remember in 1986 when Sydney City Council announced plans to pedestrianise a section of Pitt Street in time for the Bicentennial; a lot of motorists were not happy. But was it worth it? Yes! Many Coogee residents in the late 1980s grumbled when Beach Street was pedestrianised. Now you can’t
16 The Beast | January 2018
even imagine Coogee Beach without that adjacent green space! In the 1950s the green space of the Domain was used as an outdoor car park, until Sydney Council put it underground at the end of that decade. So it can be done in the ‘50s, but not in 2017? A council in Melbourne (Stonnington) is putting a car park underground to create 9,000 square metres of green space in Cato Street, Prahran, and, on the North Shore, Ku-ring-gai Council is transferring an overground car park underground to create Lindfield Village Green. These councils can do it, but Waverley Council can’t do it in one of the world’s most famous locations. In Seoul they knocked down a major highway running through the heart of the city so that a large area could be given back to the people as recreational space. This was spearheaded by their mayor, who said, “A city is for people, not cars!” (Cheonggyecheon restoration project). These projects took courage and vision, and while people may not be pushing for it and you only hear complaints from those who believe they’re adversely affected, in the end the vast majority of people have always welcomed more recreational space. Those civic leaders endured shortterm difficulties to deliver long-term benefits for their community. The extra green space they delivered will be enjoyed for centuries to come. Mayor Wakefield should take note. Having an ugly, dangerous 1920s concrete car park occupying 1.75 hectares of valuable space, in such a popular location, is obsolete in my opinion. Especially in light of the fact Sydney’s population is rising by a million every decade. It is a polluted urban heat island that should be replaced with grass, trees, and recreational infrastructure. It is a shame Mayor Wakefield hasn't got the courage to implement this change. It is a shame Deputy Mayor Kanak has reneged on the Greens’ promise on their election flyer of “More Green Space”. Most of all, it is a shame for the local community, visitors, and the children whose safety will continue to be compromised. “More Green Space”? More like “R.I.P. More Green Space”! Regards Bill Davies Bondi
CHRISTMAS DAY Whilst walking up and down the street And passing folks I never meet, I tried to catch a wandering eye Of any of the passers by, But all of them, it seemed to me, Were focussed on the Christmas tree And Santa Claus in all the shops And all the other plastic props From jingle bells to tinsel teeth To God knows what and goodness grief. And so I thought it just the time To write a little Christmas rhyme Which might, so long as it was read, Sometime before you went to bed, Remind us of the reason for, The Christmas tree, the props and more, Where long ago in Bethlehem A child was born and holy men On camels came with precious things To place before the King of Kings. And angels who were heard on high Were jamming music in the sky And singing hymns to all on Earth About the wondrous glorious birth Of Jesus, have you heard the news? Of Jesus, tell them in the pews But please don’t ram it down their throat Or tell them they’re a Billy Goat Just make the point in subtle ways This ain’t the “happy holidays” This is in fact a Godly feast As they will tell you in The Beast. Peter Manus Strain Bondi Beach
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my wife along the waterfront and heading down to the Pavilion for a pizza. Do you have a favourite sporting team? The Sydney Swans. I love to watch them play at the SCG, their games are always so fast and exciting. I love the NRL and the rugby union, but the AFL is my passion. What music are you into at the moment? To be honest, I'm pretty open to all types of music, but I really enjoy house and rock. I saw Live in concert at the Hunter Valley recently, which was awesome. Who is your favourite person? My wife Kate. We met at the Coogee Palace over 12 years ago and we have been best mates ever since. She makes me laugh and we truly enjoy hanging out.
A moving tribute.
LOCAL BLOKE... ZAK CLARK FROM COOGEE Interview and Picture James Hutton
oogee's Zak Clark has been running Clark Removals for 20 years, taking the hassle out of what is quite possibly the world's most annoying job. He shares his local favourites with The Beast... How long have you lived here? I've lived in Coogee for 30 years. My family grew up here, I love the suburb, and I hope to stay for life. What's your favourite beach? Coogee Beach is my favourite. It’s so picturesque with the landscape, cliffs, and grassy areas. I actually proposed to my wife on the clifftops, so it’s a special place for me. What's your favourite eatery? The Coogee Pavilion is one of my favourites, I love their chicken burger and pizza; Barzura is excellent, with good food and a perfect spot to sit overlooking the water; you can’t beat Sugar Cane for highend Asian food; Little Kitchen has the best coffee and breakfast. 18 The Beast | January 2018
Where do you like to have a drink? Again, the Coogee Pavilion. On a nice day, it's spectacular up at the top bar and ground floor. The Coogee Legion Club is great for a beer too, it's cheerful with a great community atmosphere. Best thing about the Eastern Suburbs? The lifestyle. We are within walking distance of parks, stunning coastal walks, and the best beaches in the world, and we are blessed with the world's most impressive variety of cuisine. Worst thing about the Eastern Suburbs? Not being able to get a park, especially for my work trucks, and housing prices are astronomical, but I feel blessed to be so close to the beach. What do you get up to on the weekends? I enjoy catching up with our families that all live locally, often over yum cha, which is a family tradition. Also, I enjoy walks with
What do you do for work? I am the owner of a removal business called Clark Removals. I've been running the business for 20 years, predominantly in the Eastern Suburbs. I’m actively involved and I truly care about providing an excellent service and a hassle-free move for my clients. What's your favourite thing about work? Meeting new people every day and making their moving experience as stress-free as possible; getting to the end of a long, physical day and seeing my clients happy in their new homes. My team and I enjoy the physicality of the work as it helps us keep fit and healthy. Do you have a favourite quote? “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.” - Henry Ford Any other words of wisdom for readers of The Beast? Get down to Coogee and go for a walk along the waterfront - if you head south it's quieter and picturesque. And if you're moving soon, give us a buzz and support a reliable local removal business.
Spectacular beaches, beautiful sunrises, and some of the most stunning residences in Australia... It's no wonder that the Eastern Suburbs is one of Sydney's most desirable locations to live. It's about feeling at home, wherever you go. So, whether you're moving in, or moving on, call Mary Howell. She will make sure you feel right at home, wherever you are. MARY HOWELL 0414 400 345 firstname.lastname@example.org
January 2018 | The Beast 19
they love. Readers of The Beast can get organised and stay focused on what really matters by downloading my free weekly planner at www.luminatelife.com.au. What's your favourite thing about work? It is incredibly rewarding supporting women from all walks of life to step into their ‘personal power’, get greater clarity on their vision for their lives, call bullsh*t on any limiting beliefs that are holding them back, and to really go for it in their lives, relationships, and careers.
She dreamed, she believed, and she succeeded.
LOCAL CHICK... MEL BRODIE FROM BONDI Interview and Picture James Hutton
ondi's Mel Brodie is the founder of Luminate Life, a personal development brand with a mission to help women reclaim joy and balance in their lives. She shares her local favourites with The Beast... How long have you lived here? My husband, two step children, two pugs, and I moved to the Eastern Suburbs in late 2013. There must be something in the Bondi water because three weeks later I fell pregnant with our now three year-old. What's your favourite beach? I love wandering down to Bondi and finding a quiet spot on the grass or sand to journal and set my goals and intentions for the week. I also love a dip at Bronte rock pool. What's your favourite eatery? After a busy week juggling work, life, and family, I love reconnecting with my husband, family, and friends at China Diner. Worst thing about the Eastern Suburbs? As a mindset and soul coach, I aim to focus on the positives in life and practise gratitude. With that said, I sure am grateful whenever I find a car spot on the weekends! 20 The Beast | January 2018
Best thing about the Eastern Suburbs? As a reformed ‘overdoer’, I love that I can always find ways to recharge my batteries in this beautiful area. I also love that wherever I go I come across likeminded souls who are interested in conscious living and in rising up and showing up in the world as their amazing, true, authentic selves. Where do you like to have a drink? As a working mum, my drink of choice these days is coffee. I love the atmosphere and the eclectic styling at Katipo on Bondi Road. Do you have a favourite sporting team? I've got some family members that are long suffering Eels supporters, and I'd like to see them win a grand final in my lifetime. What music are you into at the moment? I've recently rediscovered the amazing Ben Lee, who performed at One Space HQ a few months ago. What do you do for work? I'm a mindset and soul coach with a vision to support women to break through ‘overwhelm’ and their own internal BS to create a life that
Who is your favourite person? I'm blessed to have lots of beautiful souls in my life. My three yearold's smile lights up my life, and no one makes me laugh like my husband. I'm also inspired by the life and teachings of the amazing Louise Hay, who recently passed away. Her legacy lives on in our hearts and through her life's work. Louise's affirmations, positive selftalk, and mirror work, have helped me to transform my own life and are an integral part of my ‘toolkit’ for clients. What do you get up to on the weekends? After a full day with clients on Saturdays, I like to chill out and spend quality time with family, friends, and me! I love getting my hands dirty in our garden, taking our dogs to the off-leash park at Rose Bay, brunching at local cafés, and browsing through markets. Do you have a favourite quote? “What you believe, you can achieve.” Any other words of wisdom for readers of The Beast? You are worthy and deserving of a life filled with more joy and laughter, more time to be you, more time to breathe, and more time to just ‘be’. And if you needed even more reason to make ‘you’ a priority in your own life, here’s some more food for thought: when you take care of you, you show up better for others. Your life is worth living, so what are you waiting for?!
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203 Malabar Road, South Coogee January 2018 | The Beast 21
MARCUS Age 7 years Sex Male Breed English Staffy x Weight 16.9kg
You bloody ripper!
THUMBS UP LACHY LAM Watching a kid who you've known since he was ten years old play so well and have so much fun in his international debut is hard to beat. NORTH RANDWICK The best suburb for slightly overweight middle-aged white males that work for banks and hate their lives. MARRIAGE EQUALITY It's good to see Australia finally coming out of the dark ages and extending equal rights to our gay community. HENRY THE CLEANER Every six months, when my apartment becomes unliveable and a tree is growing out of my dunny, I call 0423 595 488. GERTRUDE AND ALICE Even after all these years it's still the most unique and original café in Bondi. Jane Turner, you’re a legend. SERVICES NSW I was blown away by the speed and efficiency of the Bondi Junction branch on a recent mission to renew a driver's licence.
THUMBS DOWN THIEVES There's been a spate of break and enters in Clovelly lately, all in broad daylight. If you catch them, you're allowed to torture them. IDIOTS THAT STOP ON HEWLETT STREET A foolproof way of identifying a visitor to the area. No need to stop, you can get two cars through there! BARKING DOGS IN CAFÉS Sometimes I wish the local cafés would serve a side of laced mince with my bacon and eggs so I could eat in peace. RUDE POLICE I don't want to be one of those idiots that hates cops, but they really make it difficult sometimes - show the public some respect. 22 The Beast | January 2018
Marcus is a sweet, obedient dog. He just wants to hang around and spend time with you. Marcus loves kids and toys, and he is very well-mannered. He came from the pound with a ruptured cruciate ligament, which has since been repaired. He walks on a loose lead, ignoring dogs and cars. Marcus comes desexed, C5 vaccinated, heartworm free, and microchipped. Also included for the love and health of Marcus is a free health and wellness voucher with the Doggie Rescue vet. For further details, please call Doggie Rescue on 9486 3133, or email email@example.com.
SIRIUS Age 9 years Sex Male Breed Sharpei x Weight 25kg Sirius is a lovely, gentle boy who has been severely neglected in the past. His ears and skin are still being treated each week and are improving dramatically. He is easy to handle and calm around other dogs. Sirius needs encouragement to walk but ignores other dogs and cars. He comes desexed, C5 vaccinated, heartworm free, and microchipped. Also included for the love and health of Sirius is a free health and wellness voucher with the Doggie Rescue vet. For further details, please call Doggie Rescue on 9486 3133, or email firstname.lastname@example.org.
MALAKI Age 2 years Sex Male Breed Wolfhound x Weight 25.2kg Malaki has a gentle, affectionate nature. He is social with other dogs and happy with both men and women. He walks at a good pace on a loose lead and ignores passing cars. He has a tendency to jump, so would be suited to a home with older kids. He loves swimming and a game of tug. Malaki comes desexed, C5 vaccinated, heartworm free, and microchipped. Also included for the love and health of Malaki is a free health and wellness voucher with the Doggie Rescue vet. For further details, please call Doggie Rescue on 9486 3133, or email email@example.com.
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Public schools are so random.
EASTERN SUBURBS SCHOOLS CAMPAIGN GAINS MOMENTUM Words Angira Bharadwaj Picture Jonah Takalua
ore kids, rampant residential development, and soaring private school fees are just some of the reasons why the Eastern Suburbs needs another public high school, a new campaign is arguing. CLOSEast, the parent body behind the campaign, told The Beast that many schools in the area are running at or over their capacity. Licia Heath, the campaign’s Co-Director, said the group is preparing to provide an updated submission to the Greater Sydney Commission with more data on why the need for a school is so great. “We haven’t had any opposition... we have more kids now in the east than we did when we used to have an additional five public high schools in the east,” Ms Heath said. “If you have three kids, the prospect of spending $34,000 each per year [on private education], is pretty unattainable for most people.” 24 The Beast | January 2018
Ms Heath’s views are supported by recent data from the Australia Bureau of Statistics, obtained by Fairfax Media. In NSW, 50 per cent of all families earning over $156,000 a year are choosing public schools, compared to 43.6 per cent 10 years ago, the Sydney Morning Herald reports. Ms Heath said a potential reason behind this trend could be that more parents are now veering away from religious education for their children. She added that the government’s move on the issue could be a major factor in how the community votes in the next State election. “If they choose not to commit to building a new high school in the east by September next year then we know that’s not their intent,” Ms Heath said. “If the opposition do, then that is how we will swing our votes.” While local ministers have
shown some support for the campaign, Ms Heath said, “It's not as much as we'd like.” Michael Daley, Member for Maroubra and Shadow Minister for Planning and Infrastructure, said he supports CLOSEast for running this campaign. “The Berejiklian Government keeps shoving more density into our area but they want to put their heads in the sand when it comes to new facilities like public high schools,” Minister Daley said. “I’m 100 per cent behind them and all the other parents in our area who just want a good education for our children - it’s not too much to ask for!” Gabrielle Upton, Member for Vaucluse, did not comment on whether enough is being done by the government to alleviate this issue. “I look forward to meeting again with the CLOSEast group in the next few weeks to discuss their important concerns about Eastern Suburbs schools,” Minister Upton said, as if she were a robot. The Good Schools Guide showed that within 5km distance of Minister Upton's electorate, the only public secondary schools are Rose Bay Secondary College and Sydney Distance Education High School, which only accepts enrolments from students with special circumstances. There are several private alternatives to choose from, including St Vincent's College, where year 12 costs parents $19,938, or Cranbrook School, where the same costs $35,805. Eastern Suburbs resident Ben Davies said that while he will be sending his children to fee-paying high schools, he sympathises with those being denied the choice of public education. “Given that there’s so much development going on in the area it’s likely there will be a shortage of those kinds of resources,” Mr Davies said. “I’m certainly sympathetic to people if they can’t find a school for their kids in the area, regardless of what your view is on education.”
DO YOU RECKON THE EASTERN SUBURBS NEEDS A NEW PUBLIC HIGH SCHOOL? Words and Pictures Stiffy McPherson
NORTH BONDI Absolutely. I’ve got three grandkids at Bondi Beach Public. We’re having a population explosion and not everybody in the area earns over $200k and can afford to send their kids to private school (and still have a latté).
I say ‘yes’ to that, but my question would be, ‘Where does it go?’ There’s not a lot of land around here and you don’t want to lose any more green space, but it’s a great idea in principle.
There probably isn’t any need because anyone that can’t already afford to send their kids to a private school won’t even be able to afford to live here anyway.
Yeah, without a doubt. Vaucluse High was the best school ever. I loved Vaucluse High boys! So many successful people went there - the Lowys, Dr Phillip Stricker (Head of Urology, St Vincent’s Hospital), Phillip Wolanski...
Steven STH COOGEE
I do, yes. There’s only Rose Bay, which is bursting at the seams, and Randwick Boys and Girls, so there’s no public co-ed option in the east. Or, they could put some funding into the existing ones and bring the teaching up to scratch.
For sure. If they got the local public schools up to scratch, so many people would send their kids to them. I’ve got three boys and my only option is Randwick Boys, which hasn’t got a great reputation. I wish there was a better option. January 2018 | The Beast 25
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WATCH THE WORLD'S BEST AT FLICKERFEST Words Angira Bharadwaj Picture Mick Dundee
atching the world’s best short films under the stars at Bondi Beach sounds like the perfect way to kick-off the new year. Eastern Suburbs residents will have access to the world’s most recognised short films this January, as the 27th official Flickerfest comes back home to Bondi Pavilion. “After 27 years, I’m proud that Flickerfest continues to be a platform for the best of Australia’s, and the world’s, most talented filmmakers,” Festival Director Bronwyn Kidd told The Beast. “I’m very much looking forward to showcasing another year of brilliant short films to eager audiences, not just in Sydney but in over 50 venues across Australia on our national tour.” The Academy accredited and BAFTA-recognised festival has recently closed entries and the full program was announced on December 12. 26 The Beast | January 2018
Some of the world’s leading talent will be on display at the Bondi Pavilion from January 12-21. The media got an early taste of the festival’s 2018 offering at the trailer launch, which was held at the Bondi Icebergs on Monday, December 4. The event was a star-studded affair with Alyssa McClelland, Josh Lawson, Anna Bamford, and Emma Lung in attendance. “I think it's a really iconic festival for Australia,” local actor Anna Bamford told The Beast. “It’s a really great chance for filmmakers to make something and for their films to be seen and their messages to be heard. “I love Flickerfest, I've been for the last couple of years and I always love it.” The launch also screened new Australian film, FYSH, which was selected for official competition at Flickerfest this year.
Over 2,000 hopefuls have entered the festival across its four main categories, and short films from around the globe will have a chance to be screened alongside films made in Australia or by Australian residents. National and international productions will also get their moment in the spotlight, while students and filmmakers under 18 can participate in the ‘FlickerUp’ category. Movie-lovers can also enjoy a drink with a spectacular view of the beach at the festival’s bar, which will be open every day during the screening periods. The festival’s run last year saw it bring together 22 world premieres and 9 Australian premieres. For more information and tickets, visit www.flickerfest.com.au. Tickets can also be purchased from the box office at Bondi Pavilion one hour prior to each session.
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BITS AND PIECES FROM AROUND THE BEACHES Words Lisa Anderson Picture Ashlea Hingston Instagram @ashhingstonphotography HOSPITAL REFURBISHMENT The Prince of Wales Adult Emergency Department is about to be refurbished and expanded, with eight new treatment spaces to be added so more people can be treated at any one time. The new Acute Services Building, due to open in 2022, will be built to the west of the existing campus. The project will also deliver a new staff station and refurbished bathrooms. The existing Adult Emergency Department will remain operational at all times during the works. Please visit www.randwickcampusredevelopment.health.nsw.gov.au. RANDWICK'S AWARDS HAUL Randwick City Council’s Todd Clarke was named the Institute of Public Works Engineering Australia Young Engineer of the Year during a conference held in the Hunter Valley recently. Randwick Council also won the Multi-Disciplinary Project Management Award for their work on the Chifley Sports Reserve, and was highly commended in the Environmental Enhancement Project or Initiative category for their Seawater and Freshwater Separation for Irrigation at Yarra Bay project. Nice work! Please visit www.randwick.nsw.gov.au. PLAY SPORT AND EARN Parents of school children across the Eastern Suburbs are encouraged to take advantage of the $100 ‘Active Kids’ rebate for sporting and fitness related costs. From January 31, parents will be able to claim up
to $100 per school-enrolled child per calendar year as a voucher to reduce the cost of eligible sport and fitness activities. Through Active Kids, the government wants to make sport more affordable and continue their target of reducing childhood obesity rates by five per cent over ten years. Every family has access to this initiative, so please check out the guidelines at www.sport.nsw.gov.au/activekids. SUMMERAMA 2018 This year’s Summerama has amazing family-friendly activities for all ages. Get down to Bondi Park and Bondi Beach on Sunday, January 14 to learn about some of the incredible animals who call Waverley's ocean and bushland home. You can participate in fun recycling and litter challenges, or just go along and chat to the Second Nature team for tips on how to live more sustainably. Activities are free, but bookings are essential at www.eventbrite.com.au. For more information, please email firstname.lastname@example.org. RANDWICK'S GREEN HAT-TRICK For the third year in a row, Randwick Council has been awarded the Going Green Education Award at the Blue Star Sustainability Awards. The award, which is for Council’s Eco-living Fair, recognises outstanding environmental education programs that help residents achieve sustainability by fostering community awareness and behavioural change. This is the first time a council
has taken out the same Blue Star Sustainability Award three years in a row. For more information on Council’s sustainability programs, visit www.randwick.nsw.gov.au/ environment-and-sustainability. RETURN & EARN FOR VINNIES The St Vincent de Paul Society NSW is excited to have been named as one of the initial donation partners under the NSW Government’s Return & Earn Scheme, which started on December 1 at locations across NSW. All funds donated to Vinnies by consumers using the Reverse Vending Machines will be used to help run their accommodation and support services, such as counselling and case management, for vulnerable and disadvantaged people. Get behind the Return & Earn Scheme and you will be doing something for the environment and for people doing it tough at the same time. Please visit www.vinnies.org.au. FREE WI-FI IN BONDI JUNCTION Waverley Council has launched free Wi-Fi for the public in Bondi Junction, thanks to a $160,000 grant from the State Government. The grant will see state-of-the-art Wi-Fi access points on Spring Street and Oxford Street Mall. Free Wi-Fi was first launched at Bondi Beach in 2012 - the first Australian beach to offer it. Since then, Waverley Park, Tamarama Beach, Bronte Beach, and Waverley Library have all had Wi-Fi installed.
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can’t you consume alcohol? And are there any public areas where you can guzzle down a sausage sizzle, listen to Triple J, and enjoy some beers this ‘Straya Day?
The fuzzy muff.
TO BEER OR NOT TO BEER? THAT IS THE QUESTION Words Siriol Dafydd Picture Em Tiyabirout
hether we like it or not, Australians are synonymous with drinking. We’re a good-time, “She'll be right” kind of nation, for whom enjoying a cold VB is a fundamental human right. Sadly, however, not all humans can handle their grog and some are downright disrespectful after a couple (or dozens) of cold ‘uns. It’s a tale as old as time... soccer fans in England and Wales chug their drinks during intervals because drinking “within view of the pitch” has been banned since 1985 (it doesn’t apply to real sports like rugby and cricket), Swedes have to meticulously plan boozy nights and purchase alcohol from government owned retailers with strict regulations, while the US famously banned alcohol for over ten years! And our beautiful Eastern Suburbs are no exception. Thanks to drunken idiots taking the piss (cheers, Coogee-gate 2016), alcohol in most beaches and parks is prohibited. Earlier this year Randwick Council said, “It is disappointing we have to take such a strong stance, but we need to reassure the community that they can feel safe.” Upon the request of NSW Police, Randwick Council imposed additional bans on public holidays this 30 The Beast | January 2018
Christmas and New Year “to reduce the potential for alcohol-fuelled antisocial behaviour in known hotspots”. Council believes “the absence of alcohol restrictions in itself becomes an ‘attracter’ to Council’s parks and reserves, making these places the preferred destination for mass gatherings promoted through social media, as was the case at Coogee last Christmas Day.” Of 33 parks listed on Waverley Council's website, only two don’t specifically prohibit alcohol. A spokesperson explained they want “everyone to enjoy the holiday season in a safe and responsible manner… We encourage everyone to use our parks and beaches without consuming alcohol.” But is this over-policing, or a sad necessity? Many business owners oppose these bans, whereas other locals find it necessary for public safety. Personally, I feel I can be trusted to drink (vaguely) responsibly and clean up after myself, so why should I be punished? Unfortunately, however, social media (and idiotic humans) has undeniably upped the ante on public holidays. But do we need a permanent ban? Is year-round prohibition protecting or restricting locals? Whatever your opinion, let’s look at the logistics. Where can and
WAVERLEY Throughout Bondi, Bronte, Tamarama, Dover Heights, Vaucluse, Queen’s Park, and Waverley, all beaches and most parks are alcohol free. The only parks where alcohol prohibition is not specified are Barracluff Park (North Bondi) and Dudley Page Reserve (Dover Heights). Both parks are regularly hired for events and sporting activities so they aren’t always fully open to the public (basically, don’t count on them for Australia Day). RANDWICK All beaches and adjacent parks prohibit alcohol year-round. The good news is you can usually enjoy a drink in Burrows Park, Bundock Park, and Gordons Bay (Clovelly), as well as Jack Vanny Reserve and Arthur Byrne Reserve (Maroubra). Cromwell Park (Malabar) and Yarra Recreation Reserve (La Perouse) have the same rules. The bad news is that even these areas are now alcohol free on Australia Day. CENTENNIAL PARK The responsible consumption of alcohol is permitted within most of the park during opening hours. However, it is mainly families that enjoy a quiet drink with a picnic on Australia Day, and management reserves the right to declare any part of the Parklands an alcoholfree zone and will remove anyone behaving inappropriately. Good. So where does that leave us? If you want to celebrate ‘Straya Day locally with booze, host a barbie or head to a pub. Thanks to the 15 tonnes of garbage left in Coogee last Christmas, you ain’t partying on public grounds. But let’s see this as glass-halffull. Most of the year, there are ten parks you can visit for a few cheeky beers. Just behave, steer clear of social media, and for Pete’s sake clean up after yourself or you’ll put the kibosh on it for everyone!
FREE Alcohol-free zones apply at beaches and reserves
Waterslides Coogee Beach 10am-2pm Family friendly celebration Prince Henry Centre Little Bay 12-2pm www.randwick.nsw.gov.au 1300 722 542
Much harder than it looks.
BONDI HAS PLENTY IN RESERVE Words Duncan Horscroft Picture Matt Chewpichew
fter almost two years in the pipeline, Bondi Beach was finally recognised as a National Surfing Reserve (NSR) in early December, at a launch at the northern end of the beach in front of a host of dignitaries. A Welcome to Country ceremony and dance from Bradley Page, a member of the Cadigal clan, was followed by the unveiling of a plaque by Paul Toole, Minister for Lands, and Waverley Mayor John Wakefield. Local surfing identity John ‘Red Ted’ Sullivan played an integral part in getting the beach recognised as a reserve following a visit by a group of Peruvian surfers in February last year representing the Huanchaco World Surfing Reserve. The Peruvians demonstrated their surfing prowess on a ‘cabillito de totora’, a reed paddle board with origins dating back more than 3,000 years. The copy of the board was presented to the local surfing community and is now in storage awaiting a location for permanent display. “During the planning of that visit we had discussions with the Gold Coast World Surfing Reserve
32 The Beast | January 2018
and the question was asked by Andrew McKinnon and former world surfing champion Wayne ‘Rabbit’ Bartholomew as to why Bondi had not sought NSR status,” John told The Beast. “We had not considered the prospect at that time but thought ‘what a great idea’ and followed that up with a meeting with State Member for Vaucluse, Gabrielle Upton, who then indicated her support. “Also in support were the Bondi and North Bondi surf clubs, the Bondi boardriding clubs, Bondi Icebergs, the local Business Chamber, and Bondi Beach Precinct. “Our proposal was also unanimously accepted by Waverley Council.” “Now, after almost two years, it has all come to fruition and Bondi has found its rightful place as an iconic surfing location; hopefully it will eventually meet the criteria of World Surfing Reserve.” National Surfing Reserve status acknowledges Australia’s greatest surfing locations together with local surfing history and the community’s association with the beach and the surf.
The three criteria needed for an NSR are good quality surf, a place considered sacred by surfers, and usage of the beach by the local and broader surfing community. In 2006 Maroubra became an NSR and was the second in Australia behind Bells Beach, Victoria. “Bondi Beach is an Australian surfing icon known throughout Australia and the world (through television series Bondi Rescue),” National Surfing Reserves founder and patron Brad Farmer said. “Bondi has surf in abundance and its surf history and beach usage goes back more than 150 years. It is truly the surf capital of Australia and an international surfing destination. “In achieving NSR status we would especially like to thank and congratulate John Sullivan and his Bondi NSR committee on the 18 months of hard work that went into the nomination and now dedication of Bondi as an NSR. “We also thank the honourable members from all three levels of government for their visible support and wish Bondi and the broader community many sunny days and great surf at Bondi.”
MORE BITS AND PIECES FROM AROUND THE BEACHES Words Lisa Anderson Picture Persia Navidi Instagram @persia222 PAVILION COMMITTEE ANNOUNCED Members of the newly created Bondi Pavilion Stakeholder Committee will help shape the future refurbishment and upgrade of the Bondi Pavilion. The committee was chosen by an expression of interest process and will consist of 17 members. The committee will initially work on a matrix of recommended desired uses and functions for the Pavilion and will finalise its report by late January so that Councillors can consider it at meetings in early February 2018. The list of appointed committee members can be found on Council’s website at www.waverley.nsw.gov.au. CENTENNIAL PARKLANDS FUN Centennial Park comes alive with a fun-filled, action-packed events calendar this summer. From Aboriginal art classes and hands-on cooking classes with the Aboriginal chefs, to Painting with Light and Exploring Science, there's something for everyone in the family. Let the kids explore the park in the Bush Food Hunt or join the Wild Play program, which concentrates on water play during those hot days. For more info, visit www.centennialparklands.com.au.
RANDWICK COMMUNITY PLANS Delivering quality services, addressing domestic violence, implementing anti-terrorism measures, and upgrading or building new community facilities are part of Randwick City Council’s ‘Our Community Our Future’ plan, which was launched recently and is on public exhibition until February 1. Council has released three funding options for community feedback, which involve small rates increases. An information booklet and a reply-paid survey is being mailed to every ratepayer in Randwick City in late December 2017. For more information, visit www.yoursayrandwick.com.au/ OurCommunityOurFuture. POP-UP MINI PUTT PUTT Combining a love for mini-putt putt and sustainability, local lad Mat Fleming has designed a mobile putt putt golf course using recycled and reused materials. To check it out, get along to Wairoa School playground from January 8-19 between 10am and 4pm. Two adults and two kids is only $20, and if you donate your old putter, you get a free game! Please visit www.putterlycrazy.com.
WIPEOUT DEMENTIA The property industry recently held its second Wipeout Dementia surf contest at Bondi Beach. Over $120,000 was raised, making it the most successful contest to date. This fundraising campaign supports The Dementia Momentum, an initiative that seeks to bring researchers and the community together to change the future of dementia incidence. Please visit www.thedementiamomentum.org. FIXING THE COASTAL WALK Following the wild storm of June 2016, which caused severe erosion to Waverley Cemetery's gully and undermined the structural integrity of the coastal walk, remediation works have commenced at the cemetery's landslip and coastal walk and will last approximately 9-12 months. The works will stabilise the existing embankment and provide long term engineered reinforcement to protect the embankment, withstand the forecasted sea level change, optimise stormwater cleansing and passive irrigation, create a habitat for local providence species, and create reflective spaces for passive recreation. Visit www.waverley.nsw.gov.au.
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January 2018 | The Beast 35
The good old days.
WHAT DO PUBS MEAN FOR OUR COMMUNITY? Words Dr Marjorie O’Neill Picture Rennie Ellis
y now most local residents would have heard the news that well-known hotelier Justin Hemmes has purchased The Royal Hotel on Bondi Road. Does anyone really care? Does it matter who owns a pub? Probably not, until it starts to sink in just what it means for this grand old establishment. Some will be excited at the idea of a new ‘trendy’ watering hole in the heart of Bondi. Others, however, will be nervously waiting to see just how big a high-rise, or how extensive a revamp, will be required to quench Justin’s thirst for owning Eastern Suburbs hotels. Whatever your view, the certain transformation of one of the last old school, blue-collar, working class - and whatever else you wish to call it - establishments in the east provides us with a chance to reflect on the role pubs play in our community and broader society. Increasingly, as we lose more and more public open space to development (a topic for another time), the community turns to public places like pubs; places where we can gather with family and friends and enjoy our leisure time, without hammering the hip pocket too much. 36 The Beast | January 2018
Societal change is also impacting this trend. More people are staying single for longer and living in smaller spaces than a generation ago, often in ‘the vertical village’. Instead of church on a Sunday, or backyard beers and cricket, people - especially in the Eastern Suburbs - are putting the ‘public’ back into the ‘public bar’. While many local residents would like their social needs met in the comfy old lounge bar of a rustic hotel, the changing demographics of the area have meant that the traditional characteristics of our favourite establishments are under pressure - think The Royal, The Nelson, and The Clovelly Hotel, and shed a tear for Billy The Pigs, The Mill Hill, The Grand, and The Watsons Bay Hotel (before it became Doyles’ Palace). With the high turnover of people in the Eastern Suburbs, there is an increasing demand for Hemmes-style redevelopments. No more comfy old lounge bar with ‘old mate’ pulling the beers now you have to dress like you’re about to work a day trading derivatives and battle your way through the throngs of elites soaking up the ‘ambience’ created by the smoothie
maker, while sampling the degustation menu (don’t even mention that hip pocket). A broader problem is that everything starts to look generic. Your old school, local establishments are now trendy hipster dens - complete with tattooed bearded guy behind the bar - on every street corner of every suburb. Bondi looks like Malibu, looks like Coogee, looks like Santa Monica... and so on. But perhaps all is not lost with the rise of the funky new ‘social space’. The old school pub was not always some egalitarian utopia. Two generations ago, women had limited access to pubs, there was no such thing as ‘child friendly’, and if loud music or a sea of pool tables wasn’t your thing, the good old local probably wasn’t your cup of tea. As a community, we need to recognise how our lives are changing and decide what we want from our community spaces, whether they're privately or publicly owned. What opportunities do these newly ‘transmogrified’ emporiums provide to meet the needs of current and future generations? There could well be plenty of positives. Rather than lament the past, let’s tell Justin exactly what we want from the new Royal. Do we want our children to be able to join us in our beer gardens? Is there a greater need for kids’ play areas in our pubs? Do we require free wi-fi so we can mix work and play in these spaces? Is first rate disabled accessibility an utmost necessity (of course it is)? And, to really court controversy, should there even be an alcohol-free area? The development of pubs like The Royal on private land cannot be simply seen as a reinvigoration of old to new - from rustic past to shiny future. Could this space, however, provide a golden opportunity to build community social capital and redefine the way our community interacts? Dr Marjorie O’Neill is a current Waverley Councillor. The views expressed here are her own.
I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike...
THE BEGINNERS GUIDE TO BIKE SHARE IN BONDI Words Scott Walker, ofo Head of Strategy Picture ofo Australia
ith the height of summer just around the corner, we at ofo, the world’s leader in bike share, are looking forward to more locals and tourists enjoying the glorious Eastern Beaches of Sydney on our bright yellow bikes. As the first to bring bike share to Australia with endorsement from local councils and a partnership with the peak cycling advocacy body, Bicycle NSW, we strive to lead by example by operating in Australia the right way. By educating the public, speaking with councils, setting up local preferred parking zones (marked with a green P symbol in the app), and having dedicated teams on the ground to ensure the fleet are all in top shape and parked correctly with helmets, ofo aims to provide the best possible bike-share for Australians. You might have seen us down at Bondi Beach for our launch on November 9, where we met with locals as we launched 200 bikes in Bondi Junction, Bronte, Tamarama, and Dover Heights. We showed locals how easy it is to ride with ofo; simply download the 38 The Beast | January 2018
ofo app, unlock via Bluetooth, and go! Even Hodgie and the team at Bondi Radio had a go. We believe that bike sharing is the future of sustainable and healthy transport options to get from point A to B. That’s why, to date, ofo has globally connected more than 10 million bikes in over 180 cities across 20 countries, has been generating more than 32 million daily transactions, and provided over 200 million global users with 4 billion convenient and green rides. Residents and visitors will be able to rent bikes for as little as $1.00 for 30 minutes, with an individual ride cap of $5.00, and no deposit or subscription, making ofo the most competitively priced bike share platform in the country. People can try ofo’s lightweight, geared bikes with their first ride free and without providing their banking details, so why not try it? Sydney’s Eastern Beaches are the ideal location to embrace bike share as it can fit into the already thriving outdoor, healthy lifestyle that the Bondi area encapsulates so well. The bike share movement, and ofo, was originally born in China, where
students would borrow each other’s bikes instead of buying their own. We started as a platform where people could donate their own private bike to the platform and thereby gain access to an entire fleet of bikes. Since then, we’ve grown and now provide an even bigger and more environmentally friendly point to point mobility solution. We are excited to be involved in initiatives here in Australia with Bicycle NSW, such as Gear Up Girl, which aims to get more young women out being active and cycling. We’ll be announcing some more exciting events around Sydney too, so keep an eye out for that. On a more global scale, we have also committed to environmental agreements such as the United Nations Development Programme’s C40 Cities ‘Benefits of Climate Change’, as we believe that bikesharing provides a sustainable solution to reducing transport emissions. Bike-share offers a great cost effective and healthy solution for getting around the Eastern Beaches, so why not find yourself an ofo using the app and try one today?
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The dead centre of town.
EXCLUSIVE: NEW DEVELOPMENT FORCES EVICTION OF WAVERLEY CEMETERY RESIDENTS Satire Kieran Blake Picture Christoph Würbel
ighly sensitive documents leaked exclusively to The Beast expose the shocking truth behind a push to forcibly remove residents of Waverley Cemetery to make way for an enormous new development. Long and short-term residents have reportedly been served with compulsory acquisition notices to allow for the immediate construction of the prestigious waterfront development, which is apparently promising “Views to Die For”. An amalgam of Sydney’s most prominent developers communicated with the residents through an intermediary by the name of Lou Seeffer. Mr Seeffer is said to have a long-standing relationship with Sydney’s major developers. He has promised all residents, who comply with the order to vacate within the fortnight, compensation adequate “for the rest of their lives”. Families of residents say they had not been informed and were utterly disgusted by the proposal, especially since the cemetery is the only one in NSW with renewable tenure of graves. 40 The Beast | January 2018
One family member asked Mr Seeffer where his relative was supposed to go. “Mr Seeffer said he could get us a great deal on a property at a new housing development out west, or at an aged care facility, especially the ones featured recently on ABC's 7:30.” Another relative asked about options for residents who didn’t leave. “These residents will have one week to present their case to a review panel – in person,” explained Mr Seeffer. Waverley Council also claimed to be unaware of the forced evictions and is adamant that it is not even in receipt of a development application for the proposed development. Mr Seeffer appeared entirely unconcerned by the Council’s apparent ignorance, simply reminding The Beast that, “These things have a way of sorting themselves out.” Details of the imminent development are a tightly held secret, though The Beast has managed to glean some information from the leaked documents.
Possible names include ‘Nirvana’ or ‘Cielo’, and the land that currently holds the cemetery’s residents is likely to become the loading dock, car park, and waste centre, with commercial and residential facilities to be built on top. The scale of the development will require substantial excavation to be achieved through blasting, most likely with dynamite. “Of course, this will be carried out with minimal disruption to neighbours,” promised Mr Seeffer. Prospective residents who buy off the plan will have the first opportunity to purchase special villas named after the person on whose grave they are built, and strong bids are expected for villas named Henry Lawson, Fanny Durack, Lawrence Hargrave, and Dorothea Mackellar. Critics slammed the developers’ actions. A Bronte local, who wished to remain anonymous, argued that, “Digging up graves for a high-rise development is callous, heartless and immoral!” To which Mr Seeffer replied: “It’s progress!”
r e m m u S 9-19 January 2018
Be part of the action this summer with hands-on learning experiences at amazing locations along Randwickâ€™s spectacular coastline.
For more information call 1300 722 572 Bookings essential: randwick.nsw.gov.au
January 2018 MONDAY
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HAPPY NEW YEAR! A big Beastly welcome to the year 2018. Let's hope this one brings us plenty of good weather, good waves and good health, no more stupid wars, and a government that acts in the best interest of the people they are supposed to serve. Now wouldn't that be nice?!
SCHOOL HOLIDAY WORKSHOPS Sydney Dance Company's school holiday workshops are held over four weeks at their iconic Wharf Studios and other locations around Sydney, providing an exciting environment for students to improve their dance techniques. Please visit www.sydneydancecompany.com.
MARINE & COASTAL DISCOVERY Randwick Marine & Coastal Discovery Program runs from January 9-19. Join in the action with hands-on learning experiences at amazing locations along Randwick's spectacular coastline. For more information, call 1300 722 572 or visit www.randwick.nsw.gov.au
SUNSCREEN CELEBRITIES Check out Rex Dupain's latest exhibition at the Bondi Pavilion from January 13-28. Dupain has travelled from Sydney to Coney Island, Barcelona, and Sorrento, and also captures the vitality of families, lovers, Icebergers, and life savers at Bondi Beach.
BONDI OPENAIR Kicking off on January 25, Bondi Openair is back once again for the summer season. Tonight's film is The Disaster Artist, a hilarious true story of a film so bad it became a legend. To purchase tickets, and for more information, please visit www.openaircinemas.com.au.
SYDNEY FC v NEWCASTLE JETS For the second time this season, Sydney FC will host the Newcastle Jets at Allianz Stadium from 7.50pm. Fans are encouraged to arrive early and allow plenty of time to enter the venue. You can get your hands on tickets by visiting www.sydneycricketground.com.au.
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BELLY OF A DRUNKEN PIANO Stewart D’Arrietta and his band present the world premiere of ‘Belly of a Drunken Piano’ at Leadbelly, Newtown, this evening from 6.00pm. Expect D’Arrietta’s dynamic delivery, bursting with emotion, in his signature raw vocal style. Visit www.oztix.com.au. CLICQUOT HOUR AT NOBO Celebrating the perfect combo of food, Champagne, and Bondi’s lifestyle, the Clicquot Beach Hut will take over North Bondi Fish every weekday until January 26. $30 includes a flute of Veuve Clicquot and a snack. Please visit www.northbondifish.com.au.
MOONLIGHT CINEMA RETURNS Enjoy an evening watching movies under the stars at Moonlight Cinema in Centennial Park's Belvedere Amphitheatre. This evening's film is The Shape of Water, starring Michael Shannon, Doug Jones, and Michael Stuhlbarg. Please visit www.moonlight.com.au.
SYDNEY SIXERS v BRISBANE HEAT The Sydney Sixers and Brisbane Heat face off at the Sydney Cricket Ground today. It promises to be an entertaining contest between two clubs that have had some memorable matches over the years. For tickets and information, please visit www.sydneycricketground.com.au.
SYDNEY SIXERS v MELB STARS The Sydney Sixers and Melbourne Stars will meet in the last regular season game of the Big Bash League. Sydney and Melbourne have been two of the competition’s fiercest rivals over the years. For tickets and information, please visit www.sydneycricketground.com.au.
CRICKET LEGENDS LIVE Join cricket legends Sir Ian Botham and Jeff Thompson for an evening of anecdotes and questions at Coogee Diggers from 6.30pm. Tickets are $100, or $900 for a table of ten, and a two-course meal is included. You can book at reception, or visit www.coogeediggers.com.au for info.
LULU'S TUNES & TACOS Get down to Lulu's on Coogee Bay Road for Tunes & Tacos every Thursday from 3pm until late. Enjoy $10 frozen margaritas and margherita pizzas, as well as $10 tasty tacos (2) and $12 jugs of beer and jalapeno poppers. Please call 8960 0454 for more information.
DECLUTTERING WORKSHOP Waverley Library welcomes you to join the team from LessMess and develop personalised solutions to conquer the clutter in your life. Being organised saves time and money. To book your spot, please go to www.eventbrite.com.au and search ‘Decluttering Workshop’.
FOOD ADDICTS MEETINGS Tonight, Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA) is hosting one of its twice weekly meetings, which are held every Wednesday at 7pm and Friday at 10am at Salvation Army Hall, 100 Boyce Road, Maroubra. For more info, please visit www.foodaddicts.org.
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Removalist Zak Clark Clark Removals Ph: 0409 808 866 Builder/Electrician Matthew Olive Sydney Power House 8007 4229
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THE WIND IN THE WILLOWS The whole family will enjoy seeing Toad, Ratty, Mole, Otter, and Badger, as well as the rascally Weasel, come to life in the Royal Botanic Gardens from Friday, January 5 to Sunday, January 28. Family tickets are only $90. Visit www.shakespeareaustralia.com.au.
ASHES SERIES (DAY THREE) Today, Australia and England face off in day three of the final Test of the 2017/18 Ashes series at the Sydney Cricket Ground. No one works at this time of year so you can afford to make a day of it. For tickets and information, please visit www.sydneycricketground.com.au.
SUNDAY SUNDOWN @ COOGEE PAV The Coogee Pavilion celebrates live music all summer long with Sunday Sundown. DJs will be playing every Sunday from 5pm, January's residency is Linda Marigliano and Swick. Wind up your week with a Sunday session by the beach. Visit www.merivale.com/sundaysundown.
FLICKERFEST - THE WORLD'S BEST Watch the world’s best short films under the stars at Bondi Beach at the 27th official Flickerfest short film festival. For more information, visit www.flickerfest.com.au. Tickets can also be purchased from the box office at Bondi Pavilion one hour prior to each session.
POLO AT PALM BEACH Hitchcock Park, Palm Beach, plays host to Polo by the Sea today. Polo by the Sea is part of the Urban Polo circuit, which is the largest national polo series in the world. For more information, and to purchase tickets, please visit www.polobythesea.com.au.
SUMMERAMA Looking for some summer magic? Join Waverley Council’s Summerama program and learn about some of the animals that call the ocean and local bushland home, along with other exciting activities. Visit www.eventbrite.com.au and search ‘Summerama’.
SYDNEY FC v CC MARINERS Sydney FC and the Central Coast Mariners will meet at Allianz Stadium from 7.40pm in what promises to be an entertaining contest. Both teams will be vying for a spot in the finals and this match will be crucial. Please visit www.sydneycricketground.com.au.
AUSTRALIA v ENGLAND AT THE SCG Australia and England will face off in a One-Day International at the Sydney Cricket Ground today. The two proud cricketing nations have had some memorable contests over the years and this promises to be no different. Visit www.sydneycricketground.com.au.
$8 PINTS AT THE COOKHOUSE If you enjoy drinking delicious beer in big cold glasses, you'll be delighted to hear that The Cookhouse, Randwick, is doing $8 pints of Young Henry’s, Mountain Goat, and more every Saturday. Yep, that's right, $8 pints at The Cookhouse every Saturday!
SYDNEY 7s RUGBY FINALS The HSBC Sydney 7s finals will be played today at Allianz Stadium. The tournament kicked off on Australia Day for three days of explosive women’s and men’s rugby between best women’s and men’s teams from around the globe. Visit www.sydneycricketground.com.au.
AUSTRALIA DAY OR INVASION DAY? We love our country and we've always enjoyed Australia Day, but we're well overdue for a mature discussion about what Australia Day really means and how we can have a national day that's inclusive and fair for everyone - which the current arrangement is not.
Drain Jet & CCTV Steve Kova metrojet.com.au Ph: 0414 885 675 Fencing Troy Salvatico Jim’s Fencing Ph: 0405 543 530 Carpenter Mark Potocki Against The Grain Ph: 0415 688 562 Rubbish Removal Dave Whiteley Dave's Rubbish Ph: 0401 296 069 Mechanic Jordan Hayman JH Automotive Ph: 0424 144 987 Painter Brett Dooley Nielson Dooley Ph: 0404 888 089 BBQ Caterer Wardy Wardy & Sons Ph: 0414 293 396 Concrete Head Jay Rodney Oceanside Ph: 0411 989 565 Plumber Luke Fletcher Pipe Up Plumbing Ph: 0431 638 558 Locksmith Bradley Rope SOS Locksmiths Ph: 0498 767 767 Electrician Adrian Langen Langen Electrical Ph: 0400 006 008 Arborist Jeff Hunt Prompt Trees Ph: 0412 280 338
by visiting www.thebeast.com.au/events-guide
Going With the Flow
ANNA BAMFORD Interview Angira Bharadwaj Picture Jeremy Greive
he’s starred alongside screen giant Cate Blanchett, has an impressive Australian television career with roles in Wonderland and Home and Away, and is an ambassador for Flickerfest 2018, but Eastern Suburbs resident Anna Bamford is just getting started. The Beast caught up with Anna to talk about what’s next on the horizon, where her love for acting began, and all the fun she’s had along the way. How are you today Anna? I’m good thanks. I've just returned from a pretty busy meeting with skin care company Dr LeWinn. We’re planning for the year ahead, which is pretty exciting. It’s good to know what they’re doing and what products they’ve got coming. Where are you from originally? I grew up on Sydney's North Shore, in a leafy suburb called Killara. My parents still live there to this day. I went to a school called Barker College, which was a bit further up north on the train line, in Hornsby. I had a great teacher called Damian Ryan. He was my drama teacher and now he is the director of the Jove Theatre Company here in Sydney. That's sort of where my passion for acting began. Do you still go back to Killara much to visit your parents up there? Yes, I do actually, I love going home. My room's still there so I love to go home to see them, and kind of get away from all the noise.
You’ve spent a fair bit of time in the Eastern Suburbs, can you tell us a bit about that? I'm currently living in Paddington, just until January, but before that I was living in Bondi for, I would say, about two and a half years. I think I prefer that area of Bondi more around Tamarama, which is a bit quieter. My favourite was always Bondi in the winter because it was quieter.
The thing I dislike about the area is probably getting stuck in here. There's a tendency - at least I have a tendency - to kind of never leave, because everything you need is here. Why did you move from Bondi to Paddo? I moved from Bondi to Paddington because I had just returned from six months overseas and wanted a change. I love the Eastern Beaches but I wanted to be closer to the city and it was only temporary - for the time I was back in Australia - so thought I’d change it up, and nothing beats Paddington in spring. Don’t you find Paddington a bit sterile? Not at all, there’s a great sense of community in Paddington - the William Street Festival is the first thing that springs to mind. There’s also a great restaurant and bar scene in Paddington, along
with the cafés in Five Ways and all the Australian designers at ‘The Intersection’, which creates a really close-knit community. I think it’s the opposite of sterile. Any awesome local eateries that you would recommend to our readers? Some of my favourite cafés are around the beaches, like The Shop & Wine Bar in Bondi - they do amazing BLTs - and I also love Out of the Blue in Clovelly, where they do the best burgers. Is there anything that you dislike about the Eastern Suburbs? The thing I dislike about the area is probably getting stuck in here. There's a tendency - at least I have a tendency - to kind of never leave, because everything you need is here. It's a blessing, but it's also a curse, I guess. And what’s your favourite thing about living here? My favourite thing is probably the community. I love having everything so close and within my fingertips, but there's definitely a tendency to never leave, because it is so beautiful. That stretch from Bondi to Coogee, that's probably one of my favourite things, the coastal walk. I mean, I'm sure everyone says that. But I'd say my favourite thing from here is Marks Park. How did you get into acting? I actually used to always be really shy growing up. Well, not always, that's a lie. I did drama class at January 2018 | The Beast 45
high school but I used to always make up excuses to miss drama class. And then I did this exercise, it was like an assessment and we did a piece on The Importance of Being Earnest, and I just sort of read the lines and did the performance and didn't really think much of it, but then afterwards I knew I loved it. I knew myself, I enjoyed doing it, but I was dead as well - like, I was quite nervous. And then, after that performance, my teacher came up to me and said, “You're actually really good at this, you should consider taking this more seriously.” And it was from then that I really started thinking that it could be a possibility for me.
I learnt how lucky I was. I learnt that even without words people can speak the same language. I learnt that a lot about myself too. You studied nursing before pursuing acting. Can you tell us about that? Pursuing nursing was purely for my parents. They wanted me to have a back-up plan, which in hindsight was incredibly smart and I'm glad that they pushed me to do that. The industry is so up and down, you really never know when the next job is going to be, or how long that job is going to last. So I was studying nursing for six months, and then I just stopped, even before I had gotten into drama school, because I knew that it wasn't for me. And that's when I went travelling and did some volunteer work in Kenya and Tanzania. And then I came back and auditioned for drama school the next day, and then got into the Western Australian Academy of Performing Arts (WAAPA), so it all happened really quickly. And then I was moving to Perth four weeks later. Can you tell us a bit more about your charity work in Africa? When I was 19, I quit studying nursing, packed my bags, and did two 46 The Beast | January 2018
months of volunteer work with an NGO in a school and orphanage in Mombasa, Kenya, followed by a safari. It was an extremely rewarding and eye-opening experience. What did you learn from that experience? A lot! I learnt how lucky I was. I learnt that even without words people can speak the same language. I learnt that a lot about myself too. It was the first trip I had done on my own and, as a 19 year-old, I had to look after myself. I really wanted to push myself and back myself. I had always been so interested in other cultures so learning about the African people, especially the Maasai culture, was very eye-opening. I think it taught me to be more patient, empathetic, and grateful, and it made me think more laterally, which has helped me with my career a lot. Do you have any aspirations today of getting into any other fields? I'm really interested in interior design - that's a big passion of mine - and the hobbies I do, like pottery and a bit of drawing. Were there any similarities between the character of Miranda in Wonderland and yourself? Yes, actually, there were a lot. Funnily enough, after I graduated from drama school I moved into a sunroom in Sydney, and that's exactly what happened to Miranda. I remember at the time finding it quite funny that it was basically exactly the same. Other similarities were also that she was a female in her mid-20s trying to find her fate and establish herself in Sydney, which is exactly what I was doing. Did you find that helpful, or would you prefer playing roles that are different to yourself? I think you have to find similarities and differences in every role that you play. I loved playing Miranda. Still to this day, I think there was definitely that similarity between the two of us. But playing roles that are different from you is also really fun and always interesting; they always open you up and make you look
at yourself from different angles. I think that, as an actor, it's your job to find parts in those characters that aren't like you within you. When you're playing a character that isn't like you, it's your job to access that inside you and blow that part up. And I think, as well, that is becoming more interesting for me and more complex as I'm experiencing life more. The more I'm growing and doing, the more I'm able to go, "Oh my gosh, I would've done this differently or that differently," because you just learn. I guess an example would be when I played this character in a play where she was a murderer. Obviously I'm not a murderer, but you've got to find parts of you that you can access that can make that character come alive. I think that is an example of a character that's different to me that I definitely had fun playing, but I find that every character is difficult to play. I don't know, maybe the characters that are more like me are more difficult because you have to look at yourself more. Have you done much theatre at all? Yes, I have. I just finished a play in New York on Broadway this year, which was at the Sydney Theatre Company in 2015, and the majority of the study that I have completed was theatre. How does your experience in theatre and then television work together to inform each other? I always say that ‘acting is acting’. What it is for me is a transferral of energy between the two characters in the scene, sort of like tennis or ping pong. I've said this before in another interview; you are hitting the ball back, but it's just on a different level. On screen, obviously, it's the same thing. You're getting something from your scene partner and you have to respond as truthfully as you can. It's just that the levels are different on each stage and screen. Also, I think that with screen it's much more out of your control because you don't really know what's going to happen in the edit
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room, whether they're going to use your reaction from earlier in the scene or at the end of the scene. With stage, you're there in the moment and it's really exhilarating. But, at the end of the day, you are still being present in the moment and transferring energy. Do you think more public money should be directed to the arts? Or would you prefer to see it go towards other things, like health and education? Yes, I would definitely love to see more money directed to the arts to create a rich and dynamic arts environment. More funding would enable more people to access plays, concerts, and galleries, especially in regional areas. This creates enormous social benefits by enriching people's lives and helping them understand the world around them. More funding would also create employment by allowing more people to participate in the arts. There could also be economic benefits - cities with a vibrant arts culture, like London and New York, benefit greatly from increased tourism. Do you think Sydney’s cost of living is going to render it a cultural wasteland, as actors and other artists are forced to move elsewhere? This could definitely happen as there are a lack of jobs in the arts sector. Also, because of unpredictability of employment, it's difficult to pay Sydney rents, let alone save for a deposit for a house in Sydney. How should this problem be dealt with? Firstly, it would be wonderful if more funding was available, which could result in more jobs. Secondly, it would be great if the government could build more lowcost housing near the centre of the city where people want to live. Do you think Hollywood, and America in general, has too much influence on Australian culture? How would you change this? I think Hollywood and America are definitely an influence, but not enough to be overly concerned 48 The Beast | January 2018
about. I think Australia has a distinct enough culture for it not to be overwhelmed by outside influences. We also have strong film and music industries, which have produced some wonderful talent. More support in the form of increased funding is always welcome though!
It’s a really great chance for filmmakers to make something and for their films to be seen and their messages to be heard. This year you're an ambassador for Flickerfest. What do you love about this local Academy accredited short film festival? I guess that it's the longest running short film festival that's been in Australia, and that it can recognise creatives and artists on the level that it is recognised on. I think it's a really iconic festival for Australia. It’s a really great chance for filmmakers to make something and for their films to be seen and their messages to be heard. I love Flickerfest, I've been for the last couple of years and I always love it. What has the role of ambassador involved for you? We shot a trailer with a director who I've actually worked with twice before. As soon as I knew he was involved, I was like, “Yes, yes, yes!” because he's great, and I really enjoyed my time working with him. So every year Flickerfest does a trailer on an iconic film, and this year it has been on Crocodile Dundee, so we brought Mick Dundee to Bondi Beach and made this short film depicting him trying to enter into this festival competition. That's what the trailer is about; it's about getting that short film to Flickerfest. It's quite funny and Mick Dundee is quite hilarious. Who would you say are your role models? I'd definitely say Cate Blanchett. I just worked with her
and I really, really look up to her, not only as an actor but also as a woman. Apart from her, my other role models include Lisa Wilkinson, my mother, and all my close group of girlfriends, because they are so important to me. What advice would you give to aspiring Australian actors who are trying to get a break in the industry? That’s a big one. My advice for anyone aspiring to make it as an actor would be to be very resilient and just keep believing in yourself. Ultimately, a lot of it is out of your control, so when you're auditioning for things, don’t take the audition home with you. It’s so much easier said than done, but try and leave the audition at the audition, because it’s really stressful otherwise and you’ll go mad if you think about it too much and wonder what will happen whether the phone will ring or if you'll get the part. After an audition, I try and say, “Okay, on to the next one,” because otherwise you’ll run yourself crazy. There are so many different factors that go into the decisionmaking process, so it’s better to just be yourself. What’s the point in changing if it’s so out of your control anyway? It reminds me of that quote: “Be yourself, because everyone else is taken.” What can your fans expect from you in the future? I'm about to go to LA for pilot season, so that's my next kind of thing that I'm going to be doing; pilot season over there. I’ll just be doing lots of auditioning over there. What does the future hold for Anna Bamford? I’m not really sure, and I’m okay with that. I have always had a tendency to worry about the ‘what ifs’ and try to control things that are out of my control, so I'm determined, this year especially, to really start to be okay with just not knowing and just going with the flow and being true to who I am. I think that not knowing what the future holds can turn a scary thing into an exciting thing.
Peter Armstrong mid-flight at Lurline Bay; inset: Stone Director Sandy Harbutt.
"EVEN IF I DIE, DON’T CUT THE SHOT..." Words John Hamilton Pictures Sandy Harbutt A death-defying motorbike leap off an 80 foot cliff near Lurline Bay, as told by Stone Director Sandy Harbutt.
974. It’s a sunny November morning and hundreds gather on the cliffs surrounding Lurline Bay. A timber ramp points precariously over a rocky precipice. Waves slap against the rocks 80 feet below. Peter Armstrong, career stuntman, sits leather-clad on his Honda 450. Helmet on, he waits. Peter’s been kicked, punched, and thrown about more times than he can remember; hit front-on by cars at 70 kilometres per hour, rolling off the bonnet - no padding - then straight back up for another two takes. This might be his oncein-a-lifetime stunt, the one to be remembered by. “Even if I die, don’t cut the shot,” he’d made the director promise. All is silent. Peter revs his engine. The director calls, “Action!” Not quite Hollywood, this is the Australian cult cinema classic, Stone. Directed by Sandy Harbutt, critics and bikers alike hailed Stone as the first honest portrayal of their lifestyle. A heady concoction of drugs, sex, guns, and actionfuelled drama; the film was like nothing Australian cinema had
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seen before. Harbutt also plays a lead role in the film, and coauthored the screenplay. A huge fan of Stone, Tarantino hails Harbutt, “A true visionary, who has the goods, and delivers them with a tremendous amount of impact.” Tarantino also credits Harbutt for directing “the most authentic and realistic ending of a biker movie in the history of film... when you see that shot, you’re like – oh my God, what a movie!”￼ In a rare interview, I caught up with Stone director Sandy Harbutt, who agreed to tell us more about stuntman Peter Armstrong’s legendary leap off Lurline Bay: I’d written the motorbike jump into the script, but after looking at both sides of Sydney Heads, I couldn’t find a suitable cliff, so I told our stuntman (Peter Armstrong) we might have to postpone. About six weeks later, Peter came back saying he’d found a cliff, so off we went in his beloved Valiant Charger (chuckles) to Maroubra. Standing close to the edge at that mighty height, I said, “So okay, where is it?” and he went, “Off here.” I said, “ You gotta be kidding,” then he says, “No, I can do it.” “Not on my fucken movie!” I replied, and walked off.
But he followed. “Stop, no look sir, stop,” he kept saying. Peter was so professional he called me ‘Sir’, even though he was my best friend, because we were on the job. So he drags me back and says, “We can have a ramp, I can get plenty of speed.” And I said, “There’s fucken rocks down there!” Then he says, “Look, Sandy, all my life I’ve been building to do a stunt like this. You’ve been building to make this picture. Give it to me. Give it to me!” I feel like crying now, and his crazy, perfect blue eyes - I knew how brilliant he was, because he could do anything, this guy. And he was the toughest guy I ever met. Anyhow, he eventually convinced me, and a crowd of about 100 lined the cliff on the day. I explained they all had to stay back until I called “Cut,” because it would otherwise ruin the camera work. Even I couldn’t look over until after the shot was done. Peter tears at the ramp like a maniac and flies into mid-air. After seven long seconds I hear a humungous splash, call “Cut,” and look over the edge. And there he is, floating. He then sticks his arm up, and the crowd cheers. But this was actually just an unconscious twitch – Peter later told me he couldn’t remember it. So anyhow, he’d hit, went under, got the helmet off, and then somehow or other he surfaces, rolls onto his back, and is floating unconscious. Once he made it into that position he passed out (laughs). So when the rescuers got to him, he was asleep, and they had to fish him out. That was the worst moment of my life; I thought he was dead. But then he sat up and the crowd went wild. The boat then sped off to Coogee, where an Ambulance was waiting, while I burnt back on my bike. By then they were landing the boat (laughs and sighs). Oh dear, and there he was - there he was - barely able to walk. He’d taken a full-body impact, just like a punch to every part of your body. He’d hit the water at God knows what speed, but he could still stand. Just. So I walked over and hugged him (laughs). And the world’s humblest man, he says, “We did it.” “No, we didn’t do it,” I said, “you did it, Peter!”
TRENT THE CELEBRANT MARRIAGE CELEBRANT “ B or n an d br e d in Bo nd i t ra ve ling far and w i de to make yo u r s p e cia l d a y eve n m o re memor abl e”
04 04 007 184 @trent_the_c el ebr ant w w w.trentthec el ebr ant .c o m
January 2018 | The Beast 51
Back before everything was banned.
THE UNRELIABLE GUIDE TO... SUMMER FESTIVALS Words Nat Shepherd Picture Janis Joplin
egardless of your age or musical tastes, there will be a festival this summer that tempts you. Whether it’s jazz in the Botanical Gardens, or hardcore trance in a secret forest location west of Byron, there will be some demented soul in your acquaintance who will persuade you to forget all your usual comforts and spend hours, or even days, ‘enjoying’ yourself outside. You’ll forget that last time you missed the highlight act because you were in a shadeless seven-hour queue for the one, fetid portaloo. You’ll forget that you contracted a rare form of botulism from a suspicious snag sarnie, and that a tick lodged itself up your bum. You’ll forget you caught pneumonia from an unexpected southerly buster, or almost died of sunstroke. And I haven’t even mentioned drugs or that suspicious fizzy piss known as ‘festival beer’. Yep, festivals are awful, but if you are still determined to go to one, The Unreliable Guide has some tips and tricks to make sure you survive:
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CHOOSE YOUR DEALER WITH CARE Festivals are often magnets for chancers who want to sell you food, booze, coffee and drugs that are inferior, unpleasant or downright dangerous. If the laws of the land and the festival permit it, take in your own supply of chips, chardonnay, Ecstasy, Bacardi Breezers or mull. If, and this is often the case, you are not allowed to BYO drug of choice, you can choose between a dedicated session of imbibing before entry, or seriously reconsidering what chemicals you need to get you through the day. PREPARE FOR ALL SEASONS Despite our view that it’s always lovely here, Australian summer weather can be very fickle, veering between debilitating 40˚C-plus heat to wild, soaking storms lashed with icy southerly gales. That’s bad enough if you are at home watching ‘The Block’ with the AC on full, but if you are stuck in a field full of dancing idiots you’ll find weather extremes can be very uncomfortable. Check the weather forecast carefully and at the very least pack
a hat, sun cream, loose clothing, a warm waterproof jacket, beanie, gumboots, icepick, compass... HAVE A MEETING PLACE AND STICK TO IT If we want to find our friends we usually just phone them, but at many festivals I’ve attended there’s been patchy or even no reception. Plus, phones can get lost, run out of battery or get pinched. I lost everyone on the first day at the UK’s magnificently vast Glastonbury Festival and didn’t find them until I got home a week later. This can actually be brilliant - you will definitely make new friends - but if you’re keen to keep tabs on the ones you already have, you need a plan. Agree on a meeting place as soon as you have the lie of the land and stick to it. If you lose each other, arrange to wait there for five minutes on the hour, every hour. Eventually you should catch up with everyone. Finally, The Unreliable Guide suggests you forget the crowds and the $12 plastic pots of bad beer and just stay at home. Festivals are awful.
You'd take that down after a few beers.
SEVEN DEADLY SINS Words Alasdair McClintock Picture Frank Bainimarama
he HSBC World Rugby Sevens Series comes to town this January. Held at Allianz Stadium on the Australia Day weekend, it is a competition that only the players and perhaps Fijians - care who wins. But the series has very little to do with the actual games. Any sport that actively encourages you to dress up in silly outfits has an astute awareness that people are there to party, not spectate. Partying these days is fraught with danger, however. Social media, cameras, and unforgiving political correctness mean it is no longer safe to buy two cases of beer on a Friday afternoon and leave the rest in the hands of the gods. It helps to have guidelines. So, here are the seven deadly sins one must avoid at the Sydney 7s to ensure, come Monday, you still have the respect of your family and friends: THE MANKINI It’s been done to death and needs to be retired. Yep, Borat was funny, but it was years ago. Get over it. No one needs to see your junk neatly outlined in fluoro lycra.
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FULL MASCOT COSTUMES While I admire your commitment, wearing a full Teletubby suit in the middle of summer and drinking beer all day is fraught with danger. There is nothing sadder than seeing a headless Tinky Winky passed out at 3pm.
PITCH INVASIONS Okay, the aforementioned Tinky Winky running drunkenly across the field is a hilarious prospect, but the pain on your wallet will be no laughing matter. Even though your mates say they’ll all chip in, trust me, they won’t.
BLACKFACE So, you’ve dressed up as a Fijian winger and you want to add the finishing touches to your outfit. Don’t. Yep, I’ve heard the “political correctness gone mad!” arguments, but if you’re deeply offending a vast range of people, isn’t it best to just not? In fact, if you’re even considering it, you should just stay at home and rethink your entire personality.
BRINGING CHILDREN This will no doubt cause some consternation amongst parents, but the 7s is not a kid-friendly zone. Would you bring them to a nightclub? People are there to dress up and run wild, not be given judgemental looks for the odd bit of profanity and accidental nudity. Save family time for the regular season.
TOO MUCH SOCIAL MEDIA Yep, we get it, you’re at the footy and you’re having a great time, but are you? After the third or fourth Instagram story, one begins to wonder. One post is acceptable. Two is questionable. Any more and you may as well be taking selfies in the bathroom. You’re clearly not enjoying yourself.
OFFERING IN-GAME ANALYSIS No one really cares about the game, much less your opinion on whether Australia should kick or run the ball. Anyone who claims there is strategy to 7s is a goddam liar. The only relevant commentary you should be giving is, “Get him!” “Nice hit!” or “Great try!”. Anything else is self-indulgent and superfluous.
I hope you’ve had a wonderful festive season and have spent time with loved ones. This is a great time of year to appreciate what a gorgeous part of the world we all live in. I’m excited about the coming year in Randwick. We have big plans to continue to make Randwick an inclusive, vibrant and prosperous City. We want to keep delivering high quality services, build new community facilities and make Randwick City safer by protecting crowded places from terrorism and addressing domestic violence. We launched an important community consultation last year, which is still open for your feedback. It’s called Our Community Our Future and asks for your feedback on the best way to fund these projects. As this directly affects your rates, we want to know what you think. There are different ways Council can fund these projects – some will deliver all the projects within 7 years and involve borrowings, while others will deliver some of the projects but take 15 years. Please visit our website www.yoursayrandwick.com.au/OurCommunityOurFuture and share your thoughts with us. Your input is important so we can ensure we continue working together to build a stronger community.
Councillor Lindsay Shurey Mayor of Randwick 31 December Coogee Sparkles 9:00pm Coogee Beach
10 January The Amazing Drumming Monkeys 9:30am-11:30am La Perouse Museum, $10.00 per person Contact: firstname.lastname@example.org
Vacation Care 7:30am-6:00pm Des Renford Leisure Centre Robey Street, Maroubra
Sea Kayaking - 5 Sessions 8:00am-1:30pm Malabar Beach Cost: $10.00 per person Contact: email@example.com
Australia Day - Waterslides and Free Family Activities 10:00am-2:00pm Goldstein Reserve, Coogee Beach
1300 722 542 firstname.lastname@example.org www.randwick.nsw.gov.au PHOTO: COOGEE BEACH, NEW YEAR’S EVE
Australia Day, Bush Dancing and Free Family Activities at Little Bay Prince Henry Centre 2 Coast Hospital Road, Little Bay.
Arripis trutta, known as kahawai in New Zealand and as the Australian salmon in Australia.
ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE... Words and Picture Dan Trotter
antastically, many of my friends’ young kids are falling in love with fishing. It’s an exciting time for us older blokes, as the reins of the fishing fanaticism are picked up by wide-eyed youngsters starting their own journeys of discovery in life and in fishing. As with any obsessive pastime or hobby, you need equal amounts of love, passion, and patience - as well as some early success - to get truly hooked. A good teacher doesn’t hurt either, but what’s more important is someone who has the patience and time in their own lives to spend some of it by the ocean or on a wharf, beach, rocky outcrop, or boat to assist and oversee the formative times of a young fisherman’s journey. I’ve often thought that teaching a young person to find a passion in life would be one of the most rewarding gifts we can give, and that’s one of the reasons why I love writing this monthly column; so that I can inspire those who already love it to keep on keeping on and hopefully light the fire of passion and focus that creates a great young angler and gives them a gift for life. 56 The Beast | January 2018
January is one of the great months of the year in Australia to inspire the next generation of fishermen - fishermen who will hopefully become custodians for the oceans and impress upon their peers, family, and friends just how important the oceans are for all of the creatures that live in them. If you’re thinking of getting out boat fishing off the coast from Sydney during January, mahi-mahi (also known as dolphin fish) are an awesome target species. They’re fast growing and they hit hard, run fast, and taste great, and they are considered a sustainable catch by fisheries biologists. To target mahi-mahi, troll small to medium sized skirted lures (similar to those used for a plethora of gamefish) or slow troll live baits along current lines, temperature breaks, or even better still, find floating objects and fish with baits (both cut and live) around them. If you’re fishing with live baits, let the mahi-mahi run for quite some distance before tightening up your line and hooking the fish. Once hooked, this species will run hard initially, before jumping and cartwheeling well clear of the surface.
If it’s a decent size it will persist doggedly, using their deep broad frame against the current. Be careful when bringing them onboard as they bounce around a lot. If you’re using a rig with two hooks it’s not uncommon for a slow-to-react angler to get impaled by the second swinging hook, so dispatch them quickly, bleed them well, and get their sweet flesh on ice, pronto. Of course our Sydney summer stables will be in full swing with plenty of fast-moving, small pelagics working the harbours and estuaries, mixing it up with - and even getting eaten by - larger yellowtail kingfish. In the same estuaries, as well as offshore, the mulloway should school up at dawn and dusk and be hungry for a feed or a well presented fresh, dead, butterflied bait. Remember, they have big bony mouths so big hooks are required for successful fishing, as is setting the hook and staying tight all the way through the fight. This January there’s plenty to smile about, so get out and spend some time teaching young boys and girls how to fish and how to respect the ocean.
MAYOR‘S MESSAGE The Bondi Pavilion Stakeholder Committee was finalised last week with 17 new members. Thanks to all those who applied to be part of the committee. The stakeholder committee will kick off this new chapter with work on the Bondi Pavilion and finalise its report by late January. For a full list of who is on the committee, and to keep updated on the project, please head to waverley.nsw.gov.au/bondipavilionproject.
Happy holidays and Christmas closures I would like to take this opportunity to wish you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
Events Summer School Holiday Program 6–25 January 2018 Summer school holidays are almost here! If you’re looking for ways to keep your kids active and entertained these school holidays, Waverley Council has dozens of free and affordable activities to choose from. From sports and coding to photography and jewellery making, there’s something for everyone! To see all our classes and to book, visit waverley.nsw.gov. au/holidayprograms.
Have a safe and happy holiday season.
Sunday 14 January 2018 9am–1.30pm Bondi Park, Bondi Looking for some summer magic? Come along to Summerama 2018 with great activities for all to enjoy! Learn and meet some of the incredible animals who call Waverley’s ocean and bushland home, participate in fun recycling and litter challenges or just come along to chat to the Second Nature team for tips on how to live more sustainably. This event is free, but activity bookings are essential. Visit eventbrite.com.au to book your activity today.
John Wakefield, Mayor of Waverley
For more event info visit our website waverley.nsw.gov.au.
Waverley Council’s Customer Service Centre will continue to be open every day from 8.30am–5pm over the Christmas period except on the public holidays. We’re normally open every Thursday until 7pm but just on 28 December the Customer Service Centre will close at 5pm. The Bondi Pavilion office will be open every day except Christmas Day, but will close earlier at 3pm just on 22 and 30 December. The Library will be open every day but closed from 24–26 December and 31 December 2017–1 January 2018.
CUSTOMER SERVICE CENTRE 55 Spring Street, Bondi Junction NSW 2022 PO Box 9, Bondi Junction NSW 1355 PHONE 9083 8000 WEB waverley.nsw.gov.au
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JANUARY 2018 TIDE CHART Numbers Bureau of Meteorology Tidal Centre Picture Boris Capman Instagram @boriscapman MONDAY
3 0326 0956 1636 2238
0.32 2.07 0.09 1.50
4 0419 1047 1728 2331
0.34 2.05 0.12 1.48
11 0508 1133 1720 2320
1.47 0.67 1.23 0.58
1 0141 0812 1451 2049
0.34 1.96 0.19 1.48
2 0233 0904 1544 2144
0.32 2.04 0.12 1.50
8 0215 0806 1415 2049
1.42 0.60 1.53 0.45
9 0313 0913 1513 2140
1.42 0.66 1.39 0.52
10 0411 1023 1615 2230
1.43 0.68 1.29 0.56
15 0134 0810 1449 2038
0.55 1.68 0.44 1.30
16 0213 0846 1525 2116
0.53 1.72 0.39 1.33
17 0250 0922 1559 2152
0.51 1.75 0.37 1.35
18 0327 0958 1633 2229
0.50 1.76 0.35 1.36
22 0026 0608 1226 1858
1.38 0.56 1.61 0.42
23 0111 0658 1310 1941
1.39 0.60 1.53 0.45
24 0201 0754 1400 2029
1.41 0.63 1.45 0.48
25 0257 0900 1501 2124
1.44 0.64 1.37 0.50
29 0029 0702 1345 1943
0.43 1.83 0.29 1.41
30 0127 0758 1440 2038
0.38 1.94 0.19 1.47
31 0221 0851 1530 2130
0.33 2.01 0.12 1.52
5 0514 0.38 1139 1.97 1818 0.18
6 0025 0609 1230 1909
1.46 0.45 1.84 0.27
7 0120 0706 1321 2000
1.44 0.52 1.69 0.36
12 0600 1.52 1237 0.62 1820 1.22
13 0009 0647 1329 1913
0.58 1.57 0.56 1.24
14 0053 0730 1411 1958
0.56 1.63 0.49 1.27
19 0404 1033 1708 2305
0.50 1.75 0.36 1.36
20 0444 1109 1743 2345
0.51 1.72 0.37 1.37
26 0358 1016 1615 2225
1.51 0.61 1.32 0.50
27 0501 1133 1731 2329
1.60 0.53 1.32 0.47
• New Moon • First Quarter • Full Moon • Last Quarter
21 0524 0.53 1146 1.68 1819 0.39 28 0603 1.71 1244 0.42 1841 1.35
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January 2018 | The Beast 59
A common side effect of Bondi Road.
RRRRRAGE! Words Jeremy Ireland, Psychotherapist Picture Betty Ross
here’s nothing like a hot, sunny Sunday to draw a crowd to the beach. Bondi, at its best, has been known to host thousands of beachgoers at any one time, especially over Christmas and New Year’s. To the unsuspecting visitor who’s decided to pack the car and head in for a bit of cool relief, it might be fair to say they could be in for a shock. Crowds bring traffic, and with traffic comes road rage. The term ‘road rage’ came out of Los Angeles in the late ‘80s after various random shootings occurred on a number of interstate roads and freeways across the city. It sounds heavy, and perhaps a little extreme for our Sunday trip down to Bondi, but with crowded roads comes stress, and with stress comes anger that can lead to aggression if left unchecked. So, what exactly is road rage? I suspect we all know the answer to that, but does it play differently now compared with thirty-odd years ago? Social media might hold the answer; it’s full of various altercations that have been caught on dash cams and mobile phones. News bulletins love it and YouTubers can’t get enough of it. Because
60 The Beast | January 2018
most drivers have experienced it in some form, it’s worth taking a closer look at the main emotional experience here: anger. Different people experience anger in different ways. That might sound a bit light and fluffy but it is worth a deeper look. At a general level, people tend to get mad when their expectations are violated. If you’re counting on someone to act a certain way and these expectations are not met, then you’re more likely to get angry. Anger can also surface when unpleasant things happen, such as stubbing your toe or spilling the milk. It can also surface if you’re physically or psychologically restrained, like being on a crowded bus or being told you can’t have something for what seems like no good reason. With this in mind, let’s picture some poor guy battling his way up Bondi Road, desperate to get to the beach. On his hot and now frustrating journey, two separate things happen that generate two different responses. First, a truck is parked in a ‘No Parking’ zone, leaving traffic backed up trying to merge. Despite being frustrated and becoming angry, our man doesn’t really react.
Second, our man, who has almost made it out of the bottleneck, gets cut off at the roundabout near the beach car park entrance by a driver who fails to indicate. He begins to turn green, his shirt starts tearing off his ripped rig as his muscles bulge, and his pants have turned purple for some reason. Why is our man reacting so differently in the second scenario? In the first scenario there is no one in the truck, and hence no one to actually blame. In the second scenario, however, he falls directly into the trap of what is known in psychology terminology as ‘the fundamental attribution error’. This error is actually one of the most common impulses in human social reasoning, where upon trying to interpret someone else’s behaviour we tend to overestimate the influence of personal factors and underestimate the role of external situational factors. In other words, he was quick to blame the other driver’s lack of regard on their personality and failed to consider that there may have been a situational cause that stopped them from indicating. By turning into the Hulk, calling the other driver a so-and-so, and raising his big green middle finger, he had drawn an inference on the other driver’s character. Unfortunately the Hulk did not realise that the other driver had in fact just dodged an iPhone addicted pedestrian and, in his flustered state, had forgotten that his car was a European model and turned the wipers on by mistake. Hence the failure to indicate was fully attributed to the person, rather than the situation. In the cauldron of road rage, anger towards another is the main ingredient. But remember before you react and start turning into the Hulk yourself, to take a deep breath, count to ten, and then consider that the incident was perhaps due to circumstance and not the other person’s character. All that aside, the fact that the driver of the European car was driving, well, a European car, takes us onto another topic for another day: stereotyping. See you next month.
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January 2018 | The Beast 61
which all featured in the series, have since announced lightweight plastic bag bans. While we may be getting serious about fighting this war, the battle is not yet won. The war on waste needs all of us. In Waverley we are constantly working on our own war on waste with our ambitious waste targets, and making waste reduction and recycling second nature.
Craig drinks a lot of coffee.
HAVE WE WON THE WAR ON WASTE? Words Asha Kayla & Nicola Saltman, Waverley Sustainable Communities
ave we won the war on waste? Not yet, but there’s been a flurry of positive action since the ABC’s recent TV series War on Waste hit our screens six months ago. With over 3.7 million viewers, the three-part series (plus number four recently) has shone a light on the stuff we consume and throw away, hitting a raw nerve with the nation. So, what has happened since the series aired? Without a doubt, there has been a huge public and business response to this series, with remarkable impacts. It’s said that a key role of the media is to give society an honest reflection of itself, and War on Waste certainly did that. It has started conversations, promoted local action, and increased the heat on businesses and government to do more. KEY HIGHLIGHTS • On social media, #WaronWasteAU has been the biggest hashtag campaign in ABC’s his62 The Beast | January 2018
tory. Over 50 independent related Facebook groups were set up across the country, with communities eager to do more to change their current waste status quo. • Responsible Cafés, a café discount program for BYO coffee cups, has increased their membership eight-fold, with 3,000 cafés now signed up to its program. Join up at www.responsiblecafés.org. • Reusable cup manufacturer Keep Cup reported a 400% increase in sales as a result of the series, and single use ‘cup shaming’ is now a thing in many offices (it is in ours). • Website recyclingnearyou.com.au saw a 60% increase in web traffic. • Compost Revolution reported a 379% increase of new households signed up from previous average yearly figures. Worm demand increased so much that all live worm suppliers in Victoria and NSW were out of stock for two months following the May broadcast. • The big supermarkets, Coles, Woolworths, and Harris Farm,
JOIN US IN THE GOOD FIGHT • Recycle your problem waste You can now recycle old mobile phones, tablets, ink cartridges, and batteries at new recycling stations at Waverley Library and the Customer Service Centre. • Bin it so you don’t swim in it - Pick up rubbish to protect our waterways and parks from litter. It’s a quick win and the marine life will appreciate it too! • Join Compost Revolution Recycle your food scraps at home with discounted compost bins and worm farms. Please visit www.compostrevolution.com.au. • Choose to reuse - Remember your reusable coffee cup for your morning fix, and ditch plastic water bottles and plastic bags for reusable options. • Recycle your E-waste - Thanks to the many who rocked up to our E-Waste day in November (even by bike!) to recycle their old appliances and equipment. Check out www.waverley.nsw.gov.au/ waste_and_recycling for the next event. Plastic is recycled into car dashboards, and the precious metals are recovered and used to create new electronics. For more information, please email secondnature@waverley. nsw.gov.au. Book in for fun sustainability activities at our beaches this January by visiting summeramawave.eventbrite.com.au. Note: Statistics were supplied by Bronte local Andy Marks, ABCs Impact Producer. All facts were accurate at the time of writing.
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January 2018 | The Beast 63
If only they'd had a sex therapy session.
WHAT HAPPENS IN A SEX THERAPY SESSION? Words Matty Silver, Sex Therapist Picture David Lee Rothel
s a sex therapist I am often asked what actually happens in a sex therapy session. Sex therapy is a counselling experience where the client has identified their problem as a sexual one. Unlike other types of counselling, sex therapy focuses on human sexuality and intimacy; facets of our lives that are often difficult to discuss. It is based on open conversation in a comfortable nonjudgmental atmosphere where single and partnered individuals, no matter what their sexual orientation, can feel safe. Sex therapy helps men resolve issues such as premature or delayed ejaculation, erectile dysfunction or impotence, performance anxiety, sexual problems after illness, and compulsive sexual behaviours. Issues for women include painful intercourse, difficulties experiencing an orgasm, loss of desire for sex, or problems when reaching menopause. Both men and women may struggle with sexual orientation or gender identity. Through sex therapy, couples can discuss desire discrepancies, intimacy issues, jealousies, infideli-
64 The Beast | January 2018
ties, lack of sex education, and other related relationship problems. Sometimes the fear of confronting the issue and perhaps discovering that they are not compatible is so powerful that some couples delay asking for help. They might have easily solved their problems but by waiting too long they suffer for years and by then it's often too late to save the relationship. Most of my clients believe they are the only ones having sexual problems. They think their friends and colleagues have great sex lives. The media does not help either; they portray sex as easy, making it look like everyone has lots of it, except them. When I counsel couples, both have the opportunity to talk about their issues with the other. They often can't solve them on their own because the hurt, anger, disappointment, accusations, and fighting have led them to stop talking altogether. As I am extremely aware of how anxious clients may feel talking about such intimate issues with a stranger, making them feel comfortable and relaxed is a priority.
The first session for a couple usually takes about 1.5 hours. We discuss what they believe the issue is, when the problem started, whether their relationship was once a happier one, why they think the problem happened, and whether they've tried to resolve it on their own. Also, crucially, what they expect to get out of the session. There is a sense of safety in a counselling room that allows people to divulge and express themselves rather than staying silent; even anger is allowed. Often couples start telling each other things they usually wouldn't, simply because Iâ€™m there as the mediator. After seeing them as a couple, I sometimes see each of them separately for a confidential session. This time alone often helps individuals answer the tougher questions more honestly and clearly. Anything discussed in this session is strictly confidential and won't be brought up in the next couple session if they don't want it to be. I have rarely encountered a problem between two people that I didn't feel was somehow resolvable.
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Enjoy our beautiful beaches but remember, drinking alcohol in beachside parks, camping or staying overnight is prohibited. Randwick City Council Rangers and Eastern Beaches Police conduct regular patrols throughout the summer months of all Randwick City beachside car parks including Coogee, Maroubra, Clovelly, Malabar and La Perouse. Parking and camping overnight is not permitted. Make your stay in Randwick City memorable for the right reasons by checking into a local hostel, hotel or backpacker accommodation.
January 2018 | The Beast 65
TWENTY-FOUR MARVELLOUS HOURS IN MUDGEE Words and Pictures The Bondi Travel Bug
large number of regional NSW towns are renowned for their iconic symbols and achievements. Coffs Harbour is famous for its oversized banana, Ballina has a massive prawn, Broken Hill has a large ant, Tamworth is home to a gigantic guitar, Spike Milligan put Woy Woy - “the world's only above-ground cemetery” - on the map, and Wagga Wagga is renowned for the large number of high profile sportspeople it produces. But what about Mudgee? I’d heard of this town but had no idea where it was or what it was known for. That changed pretty quickly when I was invited on a 24-hour ‘Midweek Mudgee Getaway’ to find out what the region had to offer. Weekends are extremely popular for visitors to the Mudgee region, so in order to disperse visitors during the week, Mudgee Tourism cleverly devised Midweek Mudgee Getaways. Mudgee is only an easy threeand-a-half-hour drive from Sydney or, as the pelican flies, a breezy 50-minute flight from Kingsford Smith. During my whirlwind visit I discovered award-winning world class wineries, superb restaurants, and even a vintage motorcycle museum. I also got to take in a stunning aerial view of the region in a breathtaking helicopter joyride... After landing in Mudgee, we drive straight to the awardwinning Robert Stein Winery & Vineyard, which is also home to the renowned Pipeclay Pumphouse Restaurant and the vineyard’s antique motorcycle museum. We are given a short yet thorough introduction to the history of the award-winning winery, and not long after we are tucking into egg and bacon gnocchi with pipeclay pork and wild mushroom fricassee, while other guests sample the delightful truffle oil scrambled eggs. Early morning glasses of superb locally grown champagne are appraised as we learn that most of the
66 The Beast | January 2018
produce on the menu is grown or bred on the Stein winery farm. We take a walk through Robert Stein’s motorcycle museum after breakfast to see his collection of antique bikes, before our group of eight is split up to experience some of the activities on offer. Midweek Mudgee Getaways offer fishing, camping, golf, watersports, trike biking, and nature walks - just to mention a few of the activities that are available for visitors to experience. Some of our group decide to play golf with the companionship of legendary television personality Ken Sutcliffe - a passionate Mudgee resident himself. The rest of the group is organised to go on trike rides, sculpture walks, nature walks, and private stud tours, all to be finished off with vineyard visits and tastings. Myself and a colleague decide on something a little more exciting. Straight after breakfast we hop onto a Mudgee Helicopter, which is waiting for us in front of the restaurant, and embark on a 45-minute helicopter tour of Mudgee and its surrounding districts. Highlights of the flight on this beautiful clear spring morning include spectacular views of the vineyards, the neighbouring towns, and the sparkling cobalt blue waters of Windamere Dam. The flight is captivating but it comes to an end all too soon as we land in the Rylstone region, one of Mudgee’s closest neighbours. We visit a beautiful boutique winery, De Beaurepaire Wines, renowned for producing French-style wines, and are met by the owners and their daughter, who emanate a wonderful warmth and charm. During an information session we learn that the vineyard has the same soil characteristics and weather as Burgundy, Champagne, and the Northern Rhone Valley in France, hence why these wine growing regions, in particular the De Beaurepaire vineyard, are now
producing some of the world’s finest French-style wines. Between wine tastings and cheese platters, we’re given a comprehensive history of De Beaurepaire Wines. We learn how, due to the popularity of their product and the small quantities produced, their wines are only available at very high-end hotels. We bid farewell to De Beaurepaire Wines, along with our Mudgee helicopter, and continue our adventure by car to the little town of Rylstone, where we are hosted for lunch at a dumpling restaurant named 29 Nine 99. After lunch we attempt to shake off the 1,000 delightful dumplings we’ve just demolished by taking a short stroll through town. Hopefully this will free up a little wine-tasting space as our next cellar door is just around the corner, at Logan Wines. We check into our overnight accommodation at the luxury Peppertree Hill and freshen up before our last tasting for the day at the certified organic winery, Lowes Wines. Their tasting room is shrouded in blooming purple wisteria, overlooking some of Australia’s most beautiful countryside. Their award winning Chardies, Pinots, and bubbles are offered up, and antipasto platters are served. After the tastings we dawdle to a hatted restaurant called the Zin House Restaurant, which is part of the Lowes vineyard. The dinner is delicious and, together with a selection of Lowes wines, leaves an indelible memory as we all get to reminisce about our Midweek Mudgee Getaway. Mudgee Tourism www.visitmudgeeregion.com.au Mudgee Helicopters www.mudgeehelicopters.com FlyPelican www.flypelican.com.au Where to stay www.peppertreehill.com.au
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ALBUM #1 Artist Sampa the Great Album Birds and the BEE9 Reviewer Alasdair McClintock Rating Aussie hip-hop has been in a state of flux for a while now, some may argue forever. There is hope though, a light appearing from the edges. It comes in the form of artists like Sampa the Great and Remi (who features on this album), who have unsurprisingly come from backgrounds that have perched them on the fringes. What makes Sampa so great though, is that it’s not a whinge, but a proud defiance. ‘Flow’ is a term often used in hip-hop. Well, Sampa’s flow is like a mountain stream rolling over ancient pebbles; smooth, cool, and clear.
MOVIE REVIEW TITLE The Florida Project GENRE Drama REVIEWER Linda Heller-Salvador Writer/editor/director Sean Baker (Tangerine) has teamed up once again with his usual co-writer Chris Bergoch to create another award-winning film with a social commentary about marginalised people. The Florida Project looks at the lives of a young, rebellious and streetwise mother and her rambunctious daughter who are struggling to live on the fringes of society in Florida. Moonee (Brooklynn Prince) and her unemployed mother Halley (Bria Vinaite) live a day to day existence in a low-budget motel managed by Bobby (Willem Dafoe). Much to his feigned annoyance, the mischievous Moonee does what all six year-olds do during summer holidays, that is, hangs out with friends and pulls pranks. Halley is very much a child herself and has no knowledge of how to raise her daughter and, although Moonee is enjoying the carefree days of her childhood, she is oblivious to the dangers she is in by being constantly left unsupervised. You would not know by the calibre of this film that most of the cast are acting novices. Baker is a director who has shown that you don’t need big actors or budgets to create a film that is not only wonderfully entertaining and humorous but also has a heart, soul, and conscience. 70 The Beast | January 2018
Artist Noel Gallagher’s HFBs Album Who Built the Moon? Reviewer Alasdair McClintock Rating When you’re the lippiest bloke in the world, you want to make sure anything you release is up to scratch. Not that I think Noel Gallagher would lose too much sleep over it. This has all the standard ingredients for alternative British music: airy soundscapes, pretentious grunge, and vague lyrics with a bittersweet mixture of cynicism and optimism. Gallagher is, in fact, Britain personified. He briefly took over the world, only to fall and retreat to his roots, then reverted to making humorous snipes, while continuing to do okay, but not great. And yet, we all still kind of like him.
ALBUM #3 Artist Slum Sociable Album Slum Sociable Reviewer Alasdair McClintock Rating It’s always nice to discover new bands quite accidently. It was an overcast morning, I was searching for inspiration, just the tiniest of sparks, and I impulsively clicked on this album under the ‘New Music’ section of iTunes. I still didn’t get any work done, but I at least found a sweet new album to listen to. A Melbourne duo, they have apparently been around for some time, yet this is their debut full-length. It is well worth a listen. Understated and lo-fi, there is an ethereal melancholy to it that compels me to stare longingly upon a sad, yet peaceful, grey landscape.
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ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT FROM AROUND THE BEACHES Words Lisa Anderson Picture Colin DeCosta Instagram @colindecosta BELLY OF A DRUNKEN PIANO Stewart D’Arrietta and his band present the world premiere of Belly of A Drunken Piano on January 4 at Leadbelly in Newtown. D’Arrietta is known for bringing strong creative vision, wry humour, and unique grit to his interpretations of the greats, including Ian Dury, Randy Newman, and Tom Waits. Here he turns his hand to some grittier ‘down and dirty’ material, while also touching on beautiful ballads from some of the most enigmatic, intelligent, and influential songwriters of our time. Visit www.tickets.oztix.com.au. ROSA KREL: A VOICE IN EXILE Rosa Krel will be performing her new show, A Voice in Exile, at Trackdown Studios in The Entertainment Quarter from 7.00pm on January 21. This show is focused on the power of the human voice and is especially relevant to our current climate, the power of a woman’s voice, and its capacity to affect people. Composed throughout varying times and genres, the songs are all in protest of a governing system. The format of the show is classical melodies presented with piano, variations of these melodies paired with ‘90s gangster hip hop, and contemporary songs that connect with the theme. Tickets will be available on the door.
BOLSHOI COMES TO BONDI BEACH Waverley Council and Russian Ballet International are bringing the Bolshoi Ballet Academy Summer Intensive to Bondi Beach this summer. The workshop will take place from January 2-13, and for the first time Australian dancers will work with current Bolshoi master teachers and faculty from the academy in Moscow. This rare opportunity will bring today’s unique Russian training in the cultural tradition of classical ballet to Bondi. Events for the community include open lectures, classes, and performances. Please visit www. RussianBalletInternational.com SUNSCREEN CELEBRITIES Collected and exhibited internationally, Rex Dupain has been a finalist in the Art Gallery of NSW’s Sulman, Archibald, and Wynne prizes. Sunscreen Celebrities is a free exhibition to be held at the Bondi Pavilion from January 1328. Seeking new perspectives on beach culture, Dupain has travelled from Sydney to Coney Island, Barcelona, and Sorrento and captures the vitality of families, lovers, and lifesavers against the fine sands of Bondi Beach. Whether it is a slight hand gesture, a languid pose, or a torso flexed in motion, each subject is responding to the elements. Visit www.waverley.nsw.gov.au.
ST. GEORGE OPENAIR CINEMA In its 22nd season at Mrs Macquarie’s Point from January 7 to February 17, this outdoor cinema program will feature a line-up of 18 premiere and preview screenings, opening with the Australian premiere of Steven Spielberg’s The Post with Meryl Streep and Tom Hanks. In addition, the program will showcase new releases, including The Greatest Showman starring Hugh Jackman and Michelle Williams. Other program highlights include the Australian premiere of National Geographic’s documentary, Jane, Simon Baker’s comingof-age directorial debut, Breath, and Warwick Thornton’s awardwinning film, Sweet Country. Visit www.stgeorgeopenair.com.au. BUSKING AT ROYAL RANDWICK The Royal Randwick Shopping Centre Busking Festival provided young local musicians with an opportunity to showcase their talent and to raise money for the Sydney Children’s Hospital Randwick. The buskers raised $1,203.35 and awards were won by Riley, Ollie, Amber, Jarrad, and Marc. The event was organised by Hailey from local music school, Directions in Music, who also supports the hospital via buskers in-centre at the monthly markets, with all money raised going to the hospital.
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January 2018 | The Beast 73
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January 2018 | The Beast 75
You have to try this.
A LITTLE MORE CAFÉ DELIVERS SO MUCH MORE Words Dining Dave Insta @diningdave Picture The Sydney Brunch Crawler
ne of my favourite things about doing café and restaurant reviews for The Beast is the opportunity to meet cool, enthusiastic people who have taken a risk by opening up a new place amongst a ton of competition. That kind of passion and determination to succeed is a beautiful thing to see in action, and I saw it in action at Randwick’s newest venue, A Little More Café. A Little More Café is run by a personable young guy named James, who escaped corporate life to establish the business back in September, with the goal of working for himself and contributing to the local community. Located on vibrant Belmore Road, Randwick, between Silver Street and Waratah Avenue, my companion and I arrived at A Little More Café at around 10am for coffee and a bit of brekky. I was a little curious as to the meaning behind the name ‘A Little More Café’, until James kindly 76 The Beast | January 2018
explained that it is a kind of portmanteau using ‘Belmore’ and ‘a bit of ’ - a little sample, or representation, of Randwick - neat! After meeting with Josh the manager, we sat down with a couple of excellent coffees to help soak up the atmosphere. It is quite a large space, like a calming recess running off the busyness of Belmore Road; mostly white, glazed brick and freshly painted walls. Additions to the motif include a butcher paper roll for the drinks menu, a chalkboard for the daily specials, and large levitating globes above the room. Josh then brought us the ‘Juice of the week’; an icy passionfruit, coconut water, pineapple, and orange concoction in a mason jar with a mint leaf garnish, inspired by the ice blocks that Josh enjoyed as a kid. Head Chef Dean whipped up three solid breakfast dishes for us to try: Avocado toast with goat’s curd, radish, pine nuts, nigella, and
sesame; Sweet potato and corn fritters with green tomato salsa, fried egg, and ricotta salad; and a Pork and fennel sausage patty with fried egg and cheddar on an English muffin with ‘our brown sauce’. The muffin was just delicious - a big, juicy pork sausage patty drenched in melted cheese and topped with a perfectly fried egg. The green salsa elevated the corn fritters and the addition of sweet potato provided a surprisingly rich, full flavour. The avocado toast was the lighter of the dishes and complemented the muffin and fritters well, with top shelf olive oil and a sprinkling of various nuts giving it an edge over your average avocado toast. We were more than satisfied with our meals, which you can order from the breakfast menu all day - handy if you suffer from afternoon egg cravings. A Little More Café also offers their hugely popular buckwheat hotcakes with whipped sweet labneh, blood orange, honey syrup, and poached fruits (pictured) from Friday to Sunday. We were also treated to dessert; Powdered sugar-dusted brownie with walnuts, as well as the raspberry friand - both fresh, packed with flavour, and very aesthetically pleasing. James was kind enough to give us an in-house baked carrot and dark chocolate muffin to take home and enjoy later (it didn't last long). James and his team have certainly found a fine formula with their high quality, stylish, fresh food and drink, with cool, friendly staff in a soothing atmosphere, right in the heart of Randwick. It seems to me that A Little More Café offers a lot more than they’d like to let on. A Little More Café 56 Belmore Road, Randwick Phone 0401 190 257 Instagram @alittlemorecafé Facebook @ALittleMoreCafé Open 6.00am-3.00pm Prices $20pp Cards Accepted Yes Licensed No
Watcha lookin’ at?
WHAT DO YOU SERVE A GUEST WHO HASN’T TASTED MUCH AUSTRALIAN WINE? Words and Picture Alex Russell Twitter @ozwineguy
ast week, I was talking to a British academic at a conference dinner. He’s very used to French and Italian wines and hadn’t had much exposure to Australian wine until that trip. At conference dinners the wines are generally okay, without being outstanding. I wanted to show him some decent drops, so we headed out to the bar. The markups were criminal, but the wines were still interesting. 2016 IN DREAMS PINOT NOIR (Yarra Valley, about 12.5%) For its normal $25ish price, this wine is great value. It’s always nice to see a wine punching well above its weight (as do I). With a small amount of whole bunches, a range of clones, and even some wild fermentation, this has a lot going on. Lovely floral and spice notes and an extremely long palate. Some think that you need to spend $30 for a good Pinot. Compared to what we can get for $25 from Burgundy in Australia (because it costs a bit to ship it
here), it stood up well, despite being $75 at the bar. 2016 WIRRA WIRRA ORIGINAL BLEND GRENACHE SHIRAZ (McLaren Vale, 14.5%) This is a pretty full-on wine. The nose is all about cherry and raspberry, with some herbal aromas (in a nice way), and it looks almost impenetrably black. It’s one of those wines that isn’t sweet in terms of sugar content (the high alcohol level indicates that most of the sugar has been fermented into alcohol), but has ‘fruit sweetness’, in the form of a big whack of sweet, red fruit on the palate. It was chalk and cheese compared to much more savoury, lighter, lower alcohol Rhones. Still, he quite enjoyed it, and for about $25 ($68 at the bar!), you can enjoy this label with loads of history behind it. It went well with steak and red wine jus. 2016 INNOCENT BYSTANDER SYRAH (Yarra Valley, 14%) Some Australian producers use the word Syrah instead of Shiraz.
This is partially because it is the French word for Shiraz, but also because some want an easy way to show that their wine is not like your typical Barossa or McLaren Shiraz; that their wine is more restrained, more old world. Was this one? Yes, in a way. Some whole bunches in here, unfined and unfiltered, but a lighter palate. This is a great little drop for $25 (or $57... you get the picture by now). It is a fair bit more restrained, and suited our guest to a tee. Many Australian wines are generally more flavourful, higher in alcohol, and designed to be drunk young compared to their French counterparts. Part of it is the climate, but part of it is due to decisions by winemakers. So, if you had a guest in town, what would you serve them to show them Australian wine? Would you go with a Barossa Shiraz? A Margaret River Cabernet? A Hunter Semillon perhaps? Or something else completely? January 2018 | The Beast 77
This tart won't break your heart.
SUPER FOOD CARAMEL TART Recipe and Picture Catherine Noonan
his Super Food Caramel Tart is guaranteed to win the hearts of health nuts and not-sohealth nuts alike. The baked crunchy base of desiccated coconut and almond meal is sweetened with maple syrup, while the filling boasts a smooth caramel-like mixture of dates, coconut cream, coconut oil, and macadamia nuts. The top comprises deliciously dark homemade chocolate. TOOLS Mixing bowl Saucepan Food processor INGREDIENTS (serves 10) Base 1 cup almond meal 1 cup desiccated coconut 1 tsp vanilla powder (or extract) 1 pinch sea salt ¼ cup coconut oil, melted 1 tbsp maple syrup Filling 300g dried pitted dates 200g fresh medjool dates, pitted 1 cup boiling water
78 The Beast | January 2018
200g raw macadamia nuts 175ml coconut cream 4 tbsp coconut oil, melted 2 tsp vanilla ½ tsp sea salt Topping ¾ cup softened coconut oil 2 tbsp raw cacao powder 2 tbsp maple syrup 1 pinch sea salt METHOD 1. Preheat a fan-forced oven to 160 ˚C; 2. Grease and line a round tart tin with baking paper and set aside; 3. To make the base, combine the almond meal, desiccated coconut, vanilla powder, and sea salt in a mixing bowl and stir to combine, before adding the maple syrup and melted coconut oil and mixing until uniform in texture; 4. Transfer the base mixture into the tart tin and flatten, pressing down firmly and evenly with your hands; 5. Transfer the base to the oven and bake for 20 minutes at 160 ˚C, or until lightly golden; 6. Meanwhile, place the dried dates, pitted medjool dates, and
boiling water in a saucepan over medium heat and stir regularly with a wooden spoon for 5-7 minutes until all of the water is evaporated and a thick paste is formed; 7. In the food processor, whiz the date paste, macadamia nuts, coconut cream, and vanilla for a few minutes until completely smooth and add sea salt to taste; 8. Pour this mixture on top of the cooled base and place in the freezer to set; 9. For the topping, combine all of the ingredients in a small mixing bowl, pour on top of the caramel filling, and allow it to set in the freezer for at least four hours or overnight before serving; 10. Store in an airtight container in your freezer for no more than two weeks. Cath Noonan is a self-confessed health-foodie, recipe creator, and nutrition student, as well as the founder of healthy food blog, I Heart Scratch. Check out the delicious food pics on her Instagram account, @i_heart_scratch, and find more recipes by visiting www.iheartscratch.com.au.
Would you have a look at that.
ROCKY ROAD WITH EDGE Recipe and Picture Jacqueline Alwill
’m all for indulging in moderation, but I’m even more for finding simple swaps to create delicious treats that are nourishing and also help to make the more indulgent cravings melt away, like a rocky road pumped full of whole food ingredients that looks and tastes like the real deal, without the guilt that often accompanies such indulgence. Introducing Rocky Road with Edge. The winner in this one is the strawberry jelly, which takes the place of the marshmallow. I’ve used a pasture-fed gelatin that’s rich in gut-loving nutrients to make the strawberry jelly, and then added whatever fun and nutritious foods were on hand in the pantry to create the chewy, crunchy,
creamy, sweet, bitter (and a little bit edgy) rocky road. This Rocky Road with Edge is also gluten, dairy, and refined sugar free. INGREDIENTS (serves 10-12) 1 1½ cups strawberries 1 tablespoon rice malt or honey 3 tablespoons IQS gelatin ⅓ cup water ½ cup coconut oil ½ cup raw cacao 2 tablespoons rice malt syrup, honey, or maple 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 1 teaspoon orange zest ¼ cup dried figs, sliced ¼ cup hazelnuts, roughly chopped ¼ cup dried apricots, sliced 2 tablespoons goji berries
METHOD 1. To make the strawberry jelly, place the strawberries in a blender and blitz to puree, then transfer to a small saucepan, add sweetener (rice malt syrup/maple/honey) and place on medium heat to warm so it is almost hot; 2. While the puree is warming, mix together the gelatin and water with a fork in a separate bowl (it will become quite solid but don't worry, it won't stay that way); 3. Once the strawberry puree is warm, pour over the gelatin mix and whisk together until lumps are broken up and the mix is a smooth consistency; 4. Pour into a lined cake or loaf tin and place in the fridge to set for two hours; 5. Once set, cut into cubes, ready to pop into the rocky road; 6. Make the chocolate by melting the coconut oil, then add cacao, rice malt syrup/maple/honey, and orange zest and whisk until lovely and glossy; 7. Line a loaf or rectangular cake tin with baking paper and arrange half the figs, hazelnuts, strawberry jelly, apricots, and goji berries. Pour half of the chocolate and repeat; 8. Place back in the fridge to set for two hours, then slice and eat. This delicious recipe was provided by local nutritionist and author of Seasons to Share, Jacqueline Alwill. For whole food catering, nutrition workshops, recipes, and much more, please visit www.thebrownpaperbag.com.au.
January 2018 | The Beast 79
THE BEAST SUPERCROSS 1
ACROSS 1. Band that won the 2017 ARIA for best album and group (4,2,6) 8. Is sometimes the largest lake in Australia (4) 9. Radio station that has moved its Hottest 100 countdown from Australia Day (6,1) 10. ‘And the rest’ in Latin (abbrev.) (3) 11. Dull heavy sound (4) 15. Noah’s boat (3) 16. Singer inducted into ARIA Hall of Fame in 2017, Daryl ... (11) 20. Old concentrations of riches (9) 21. Polynesian dance (4) 22. Religion with not many members (4)
23. Irregular and unpredictable (7) DOWN 2. Winner of breakthrough artist and best pop release at 2017 ARIAs (3,5) 3. Desire for wealth (5) 4. Retrieve; “it’s not going to happen” (5) 5. Leaves out (5) 6. Fictitious story (4) 7. Korean alcohol (4) 12. Anger (3) 13. 2017 horror movie remade from 1990 telemovie (2) 14. Jumper (7) 15. Antonym to repel (7) 17. Together (6) 18. Actor that plays Poe in most recent Star Wars films, Oscar ... (5) 19. Stylish (4)
TRIVIAL TRIVIA Words Cameron Anderson Picture Amaury Tréguer Instagram @morningbondi 1. True or false: The name of the Twitter bird is Larry, named after legendary basketballer Larry Bird. 2. What is the name of the volcano that erupted in Bali in November 2017? 3. Which American president had the middle name Milhous? 4. Which Australian city will
Whitewash. 80 The Beast | January 2018
host the 2018 Commonwealth Games? 5. Melbourne is the birthplace of three basketballers who were selected first in the NBA draft. Who are they? 6. Which NRL club has lost the most grand finals? 7. Which Football player has
scored the most goals in the A-League? 8. Who has served the most years as a member of parliament in Australia? 9. Where in Australia is the lowest occurring natural point? 10. What is the highest grossing Australian film of all time?
PISCES FEB 20-MAR 20 Every time you walk away from a group of your friends, they start talking about you immediately, and it’s mostly negative.
LEO JUL 23-AUG 22 Have some fun while you’re young or you’ll really regret your lack of experimentation with party drugs when you’re too old to enjoy them.
ARIES MAR 21-APR 20 If you find yourself contemplating whether or not to engage in sexual activity with a relative, I reckon you may as well just go for it.
VIRGO AUG 23-SEP 23 Only worry about the things you can control, which means worry about nothing, because you have no influence over anything.
TAURUS APR 21-MAY 21 Even though your junk smells like a prawn cracker, go easy on the soap; even the tiniest bit up the urethra will ruin your morning.
LIBRA SEP 24-OCT 23 If your mental health suffers this month it may be worth reflecting on your substance consumption before you enrol in a meditation course.
CAPRICORN DEC 22-JAN 20 All those little things your partner does to annoy you are like drops of water in a bucket. When the bucket’s full, throw it in their face.
GEMINI MAY 22-JUN 21 The water isn’t too cold, you’re just pissweak. Stop making excuses and get in the ocean while there’s fewer people around to see your shit rig.
SCORPIO OCT 24-NOV 22 Instead of purchasing a parking ticket, try smearing your tyres and windscreen wipers with dogshit to repel the brown bombers.
AQUARIUS JAN 21-FEB 19 An unexpected encounter with a clitoris that looks more like a dick will leave you questioning your sexuality.
CANCER JUN 22-JUL 22 Someone close to you is trying to send you broke with their spending habits. Here's a clue: it’s the person who has your credit card.
SAGITTARIUS NOV 23-DEC 21 You really need to do some more exercise, and that doesn’t include masturbation, which you already do more than enough of.
STAR SIGNS Words Beardy from Hell
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1. True 2. Mount Agung 3. Richard Nixon 4. Gold Coast 5. Kyrie Irving, Andrew Bogut, Ben Simmons 6. Sydney Roosters (15 losses) 7. Besart Berisha (104 and counting) 8. Billy Hughes (51 years, 213 days) 9. Lake Eyre (15 metres below sea level) 10. Crocodile Dundee (1986) 1
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Published on Dec 21, 2017