Dvar Torah

PESACH, RAV KOOK AND HELPING OTHERS WITHOUT HURTING ONESELF

BY RABBI ARI ZE’EV SCHWARTZ

Pesach is not only about freeing oneself from slavery but also about helping to free other people from their personal Egypt. Indeed, kindness toward other people is an essential part of the Seder night. As the Haggada writes, “Anyone who is hungry, come eat.” And while the desire to do acts of kindness to someone else is a great value, nonetheless, Rav Kook warns us about the hidden danger of kindness. He writes:

“The desire to do kindness needs a great shield. A person with the personality of kindness, who yearns to influence everyone, is also more likely to be influenced from everyone. This is the spiritual law of influence: the one who influences will also be influenced” (Shmoneh Kevatzim 7:23).

That is to say, when a person is negative toward someone else, there is no real danger of being influenced by them since one has put up a shield. Yet the moment a person enters the mode of being kind to someone else, of wanting to give oneself to another person, one has put down their shield and are now open to being influenced.

For example, when a doctor tries to help someone with a contagious sickness, they open themselves up to the danger of being infected. Or when a psychologist tries to help someone with severe depression, they open themselves up to the danger of becoming depressed. This is also true regarding matters of faith. When a religious person desires to help an atheist understand faith, they open themselves up to the possibility of having doubts about their own beliefs.

For this reason, Rav Kook, who was known for being a very kind and giving person, offered the following piece of advice.

“This is the strength of the greatest givers of kindness...that they only influence negativity and not receive from it...God promised Avraham a shield in order that his influencing negativity would not damage himself. He is the role model of this greater type of kindness. “I will be a shield for you” (Bereishit 15:1) (Shmoneh Kevatzim 7:23). In other words, Rav Kook says that a giving person must learn to develop a shield- healthy boundaries. When giving to others, a person must have the discipline to also keep a distance. This is extremely hard to do for a giving personality. Such a person yearns to give their entire essence to the cause and not simply a part of themselves. But this is what Rav Kook wants us to understand: only one who has a shield can actually help others.

On the festival of Pesach, we want everyone to go free from their personal Egypt, we desire that everyone be redeemed from their struggles and sufferings. As the Haggada writes, “Anyone who is hungry, come eat.” Yet in order to set someone else free, in order to help someone else be healthy, a person must be free and healthy themselves.

When Rav Kook arrived in Israel, he yearned to help all types of people — secular Zionists, atheists, liberals, vegetarians, free-spirited artists, and poets. Eventually, Rav Kook began to understand that without a shield, without healthy boundaries, he would not be able to help them. And so, Rav Kook went looking for a role model of kindness with healthy boundaries. He found Avraham. “God promised Avraham a shield in order that his influencing negativity would not damage himself. He is the role model of this greater type of kindness” (Shmoneh Kevatzim 7:23).

This was the important spiritual lesson Rav Kook learnt about helping to free other people from their sufferings and do acts of kindness: the giver must never completely merge their soul with the receiver. Without a shield, the doctor, psychologist, and rabbi slowly become sick as well. Only the person who develops a shield and healthy boundaries will be able to truly help others and free them from their personal Egypt.

PESACH SAMEACH!

Rabbi Ari Ze’ev Schwartz is a teacher at Midreshet AMIT, teaching classes on Rav Kook, Rambam, and Tanach. He is the author of “The Spiritual Revolution of Rav Kook: Writings of a Jewish Mystic.”