For Intimacy of aMarried Couple

FOR INTIMACY OF A MARRIED COUPLE

דוּחִי םֵשְׁל אוּה ךיִרְבּ אָשְׁדֻק הֵּתְּניִכְשׁוּ וּמיִחְרוּ וּליִחְדִבּ .וּליִחְדוּ וּמיִחְרוּ וּנֵרָה

םיִנָמֻּזְמוּ םיִנָכוּמ יִתְּשִׁא/יִשׁיִא םִע גוּוִּזַּה תַוְצִמ םֵיַּקְל ,אָפוּגְבּ אָפוּגּ אָקְבָדְל בוּתָכַּכּ “.דָחֶא רָשָׂבְל וּיָהְו”

הוהי ךיֶנָפְלִּמ ןוֹצָר יִהְי ,יַתוֹבֲא יֵהֹלאֵו יֵהֹלֱא יִתְּשִׁא/יִשׁיִאְלוּ יִל ןֵתִּתֶּשׁ [I pray to have our intimacy be nothing short of a contribution to connecting heaven and earth!] For the unification of the Holy One of Blessing [in heaven] and the Shechinah [Divine Presence on earth]14 , with trepidation and love, and love and trepidation.15 I am prepared to fulfill the mitzvah of sexual union with my husband/wife, to join body to body, as is written, “And [the couple] shall be as one flesh.”

May it be Your will, Adonai, My God and God of my ancestors, that You give me and my husband/wife

14 According to the Jewish mystical tradition of kabbalah, our actions [inthis case intimacy] have far-reaching effects, including influencing the Divine. God’s immanent presence in the world is referred to as the Shechinah, expressed in feminine terms. God as the transcendent, beyond our understanding, is referred to as Holy One of Blessing or Blessed by He, in masculine terms. 15 This paragraph is akabbalistic invocation which is added before doing different mitzvot to clarify our intentions and attune us to the meaning and implications of our actions.

ַעוּיִּסְו רֶזֵעְו תֶלֹכיִו ַחֹכּ ,הֶז גוּוִּזְבּ הָנָכֲהַו הָכָרְבוּ בַר עַפֶשׁ ךיִשְׁמַהְל ןוֹיְלֶעָה רוֹקָמִּמ ,םיִשׁוֹדְקַּה תוֹמָלוֹעָה לָכְל .וּנֵתָמְשִׁנְו וּנֵחוּר וּנֵשְׁפַנְלוּ

םיִקיִדַּצ םיִדָליִל הֶכְּזִנְו ,םיִקָזֲחַו םיִאיִרְבּ םיִנוֹבְנוּ םיִמָכֲח הָבוֹט הָביֵשְׂו הָנְקִזְל וּכְּזִיְו םֶהָבּ יֵתְשּׁאְַו יִנֲא חַמְשִׂנְו ,םֶהיֵנְבּ יֵנְבִבוּ םֶהיֵנְבִבוּ הָנוֹיְלֶע הָשׁוֹדְק הָמָשְׁנִל וּכְּזִיְו ,ןוֹיְלֶע םוֹקָמִּמ הָבוּצֲח בוֹטְבּ םֶהיֵמְי וּכיִריִאָיְו .םיִמיִעְנִבּ םָתוֹנְשׁוּ

הָכָרְבּ םוֹלָשׁ יִתְּשִׁא/יִשׁיִאְל ַעיִפְּשַׁתְו ,הָבוֹט .םיִמֲחַרְו דֶסֶחָו ןֵחְו הָחָלְצַהְו בַר רֶשֹׁעְו יִתְּשִׁא/יִשׁיִאְבּ םֵיַּקְתוּ strength, capacity, support, and preparation for this joining, to draw great abundance and blessing from the Highest Source into all the Holy worlds, and into our personalities, spirits, and souls. [Add this paragraph if relevant] May we merit to have children, who are righteous, wise, understanding, healthy, and strong. May they merit to reach old age. May my husband/wife and I have joy in them and in their children and their children’s children. May they merit an elevated, holy soul, from the highest place. May they have a good, pleasant, long life.

Please provide my husband/wife with peace, good blessing, generous wealth and success, grace, kindness, and compassion.

:בוּתָכֶּשׁ אָרְקִמ הָוהְי תֵאֵמ הָכָרְב אָשִּׂי” ״.וֹעְשִׁי יֵהֹלֱאֵמ הָקָדְצוּ ,םִיָמ יֵגְלַפּ לַע לוּתָשׁ ץֵעְכּ הָיָהְו״ וֹתִּעְבּ ןֵתִּי וֹיְרִפּ רֶשֲׁא ,לוֹבִּי אֹל וּהֵלָעְו ״.ַחיִלְצַי הֶשֲׂעַי רֶשֲׁא לֹכְו

,ןוֹצָר תֵע הוהי ךְל יִתָלִּפְת יִנֲאַו״ ״.ךֶעְשִׁי תֶמֱאֶבּ יִנֵנֲע ךֶדְּסַח בָרְבּ םיִהֹלֱא ,ךיֶנָפְל יִבִּל ןוֹיְגֶהְו יִפ יֵרְמִא ןוֹצָרְל וּיְהִי .יִלֲאֹגְו יִרֹצ הָוהְי Please manifest for my husband/wife the fulfillment of the verses “Receive blessing from Adonai, and just generosity from the God who redeems.” “May [s/he] be like a tree planted by streams of water, yielding fruit in its season, its leaves not withering, and whatever he/she pursues succeeds.”16

“May my prayer come to You, Adonai, at a time of favor. God, in Your abundant loving‑ kindness, answer me with Your faithful salvation.”17 May the words of my mouth and the contemplations of my heart be favorable before You, Adonai, my Rock and Redeemer.

— Adapted from Rabbi Yosef

Chaim, Ben Ish Chai, Bagdad, Iraq (1835-1909)18

16 Psalms 1:3. 17 Psalm 19:15 18 Leader of the Baghdadi Jewish community, highly-revered Torah scholar, and master of kabbalah. His masterwork, The Ben Ish Chai, became the standard reference book for Torah law among Sephardic Jews. Excerpted from two prayers, one for a husband and one for a wife.