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Family, Life, and Community
FAMILY, LIFE, AND COMMUNITY
A text from the Babylonian Talmud, Shabbat 127a
.םָלֻּכּ דֶגֶנְכּ
These are the things whose fruit we enjoy in this world and whose full reward awaits us in the world that is coming:
Honoring of parents; doing acts of lovingkindness; arising early for learning, morning and evening; inviting guests; visiting the sick; helping a bride with what’s needed for a wedding, celebrating joyfully; attending to the dead; focusing in prayer; and bringing peace between people – and the study of Torah
corresponds to all of these.
LEARNING
The sages of the Talmud describe in this passage what makes for a good family– honoring parents; what makes for a good life– doing acts of loving-kindness in all of our pursuits and engaging in learning; and what makes for a good community– attending to hosting and welcoming those on the outskirts, caring for those in need, celebrating joyful events, supporting people through loss, praying with intention, fostering forgiveness and peace among people. Torah study contributes to these all.
INSPIRATION
The word keneged, rendered here as “corresponds to,” first appears in Torah referring to God saying it’s not good for Adam to be alone and it’s time to make Adam a corresponding helper. What could our sages have meant by Torah being keneged all other behaviors listed? Perhaps they are telling us that this is also a checklist for the behaviors that studying Torah should foster. Maybe these behaviors can help hasten a transformation of a world that is coming.
REFLECTION
What would you include on a checklist of what makes for a good family, a good life, and a good community?
PERSONAL PRAYER
Teach me to love and to make peace. Let the sweetness of Your Torah remove the bitterness of my words. Allow the light of Torah to expose the darkness in my secret places. Give me the strength to live in Your image by honoring the needs of others, accepting their differences, and forgiving their shortcomings. And as I advocate for the oppressed and abused, and extend my heart and hand to the sick and hurting, let it be Torah, let it be You, the world sees.
— Dana Green Pina,
Lake Worth, Florida
TZITZIT
TALLIT
,םָלוֹעָה ךֶלֶמ וּניֵהֹלֱא הוהי הָּתאַ ךוּרָּב ףֵּטַעְתִהְל וּנָּוִצְו ויָתוְֹצִמְּב וּנָׁשְּדִק רֶׁשֲא .תיִציִצַּב Blessed are You, Adonai, our God, Majesty of the world, who has made us holy with Your commandments and instructed us to wrap ourselves with the tasseled garment.
LEARNING
The mitzvah of tzitzit, wearing tasseled four-cornered garments, is given in the Torah so that we “look at it and recall all the commandments of Adonai and observe them,” rather than “go about following” our “heart and eyes in lustful urges.” This mitzvah is given after the Torah’s account of the twelve spies Moses sent into the Promised Land to “go about” checking it out and bringing back a report. Ten of the twelve spies brought back a report that included slander against the land, which disheartened the Israelites. Two of the spies, Joshua and Caleb, reported that “the land we went about scouting is an exceedingly good land… flowing with milk and honey.”
INSPIRATION
Do our hearts and eyes always lead us after unholy urges? Consider Ecclesiastes: “O youth, enjoy yourself while you are young! Let your heart lead you to enjoyment in the days of your youth. Follow the desires of your heart and the glances of your eyes– but know well that God will call you to account for all such things.”8
REFLECTION
What might have distinguished Joshua and Caleb’s seeing from the other ten spies in going about the land? How might our seeing be inspired by them, so we can avoid being led off-track by lustful urges of hoarding honor, money, or other unholy desires?
PERSONAL PRAYER
The tallit wraps around me, comforts and protects me, and helps me connect to God. It’s as if God is holding me and telling me to have faith, and that everything will be all right. It is at that time I feel like I can talk to Him in my own words and ask Him to help me be a better father, husband, and provider, and to one day reach my potential.
— Rob Siemens,
Boca Raton, Florida
TEFILLIN
Standing, place the hand-tefillin on the biceps of the left arm (or right arm if you are left-handed), angled toward the heart, and before tightening the strap, say:
Wrap the strap of the hand-tefillin seven times around the arm. Place the headtefillin above the hairline, centered between the eyes, and say:
Blessed is the name of His glorious majesty for ever and ever.
Adjust the head-tefillin, and say:
וֹתוּכְלַמ דוֹבְּכ םֵׁש ךוּרָּב דֶעָו םָלוֹעְל
Wind the strap of the hand-tefillin three times around the middle finger, saying:
םָלוֹעְל יִל ךיִתְּשַׂרֵאְו דֶסֶחְבוּ טָפְּשִׁמְבוּ קֶדֶצְבּ יִל ךיִתְּשַׂרֵאְו :םיִמֲחַרְבוּ ,הָנוּמֱאֶבּ יִל ךיִתְּשַׂרֵאְו :הוהי תֶא ְתַּעַדָיְו I will betroth you to Me forever; I will betroth you to Me in righteousness and justice, loving‑ kindness and compassion. I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness, and you shall know Adonai.
LEARNING
One way to think about the mitzvah of tefillin is as an alignment practice between heart, mind, and actions. Tefillin comprise of two leather boxes with straps. The boxes contain parchment scribed with four Torah passages.9 The boxes are strapped to one’s upper arm angled to the heart and to one’s head. The arm straps extend to the hand, which symbolizes one’s actions. One of the most difficult bridges to cross is between our heart and mind. Emotions can be all-consuming and interconnected. Representing this, the arm tefillin has all four passages inscribed on a single piece of parchment and placed in the single box. But our minds categorize and make distinctions. Representing this, the head tefillin requires four individual pieces, each placed in their own sub-compartment of the box. May we dedicate heart and mind to act and live with meaning and equanimity.
INSPIRATION
Professor Elie Wiesel wrote quite often about tefillin. Even in Auschwitz it remained a practice that he and others held to. “I don’t know how, but someone had managed to smuggle in a pair of tefillin by bribing a kapo with dozens of bread and margarine rations. I only know that every morning many of us rose before the call-up to perform this mitzvah. Jewish law would not have required it under the circumstances. One is not obligated to sacrifice his life for the sake of donning tefillin. And yet, Jews who did not know each other, who perhaps did not even speak the same language, met each morning at dawn, exposed themselves to nameless dangers for the sake of not interrupting a millennia-old tradition. I do not understand it. I will never understand whence they derived so much courage.”10
REFLECTION
What practice helps you create peace between your mind and your heart?
PERSONAL PRAYER
Exalted are You, God, for giving us Your framework for living, for connecting us to You, and for instructing us to wear tefillin. My bond to You is eternal and rooted in goodness, devotion, and understanding.
— Rick Popowitz
North Potomac, Maryland
9 10 Exodus 13:1–10, Exodus 13:11–16, Deuteronomy 6:4–9 and Deuteronomy 11:13–21. Elie Wiesel, “Friendship,” in Against Silence: The Voice and Vision of Elie Wiesel (New York: Holocaust Library, 1985), vol. II, p. 37. The essay was originally published in 1982.
