Reka's Life Story Magazine Birthday Gift

OKONKWO SPECIAL EDITION

LIFE STORY SEPTEMBER 19TH 1947

Our No.1 First Lady

Réka’s

70

Birthday EDITION

TH

My Dad used to call Anyu his GREEN-EYED TIGER as she has beautiful green eyes and can be as ferocious as a tiger.

A tiger is cautious, determined, persistent, energetic, strong and fearless.

My Anyu is all of these and more.

- Roza, RÊka’s daughter

It’sOur

7

Anyu’s Anyu’s 0th As a much loved First Lady turns seventy, this momentous occasion could only be marked with some words of love from her nearest and dearest My Anyu, Who sat and watched my infant head, While I slept on my cradle bed, And tears of sweet affection shed?

My Anyu Who forsook her goals and maybe a dream and forged with me, a strong team who gave me confidence so I would gleam My Anyu Who came to help me when I fell, And brought me out of my personal hell, with her will and kisses she made it well My Anyu Can I ever cease to be Affectionate and kind to you, Who has been so very kind to me, My Anyu

Contents 8

A CHILDHOOD EXPLORED

16

HUNGARY MEETS NIGERIA

9 10 LIKE MOTHER LIKE DAUGHTER

4

Spring 2013itsmymagazine.com |

36

Welcome

W

e are delighted to shine the spotlight on a member of the family who is usually more happy away from centre stage being a silent supporting cast member. However, on this auspicious occasion we welcome the chance to show this amazing woman just how much she means to her family and friends across the globe. She has touched so many with her warmth, humour and hard working spirit that never ceases to plough on during calamity and calm. Réka Terezia Okonkwo, we appreciate you. We love and adore you and couldn’t imagine life without you. So as you reach seventy years young, may you continue to live long and prosper with God’s blessing. Millió puszi!

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The Okonkwos xxx

EDITOR Krystle Downie ART EDITOR Pauline Downie SENIOR COPYWRITER & RESEARCHER Mia Lane

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CONTACT info@itsmymagazine.com www.itsmymagazine.com

itsmymagazine.com| Spring 2013

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RĂŠka was always a very hands on mother ready to love and discipline her offspring where appropriate, forever firm but fair.

A Fantastic Wife, Mother & Friend

A long awaited daughter, meet Réka the cherished youngest child of Balint and Roza Horvath who was destined for greatness

O A Nagymama To Inspire; A Jack of all trades, Réka can turn her hand to anything, particularly baking, cooking and arts and crafts

Just as her daughter Roza was the long awaited, so also was Réka

ften called “Anyu” which means mother in the Hungarian language, Réka Terézia Okonkwo (Nee Horváth Réka Terézia) was born on the 19th of September 1947 in a small village called Nagykata in Hungary. Her beloved parents were Balint Horvath born 27th November 1900 in Szadudvarnok, (formerly Hungary but now Slovakia) and Roza Anna Bundy born on 29th March 1910 in Elesd.

Announcing her imminent arrival on a sunny Friday morning after her mother Roza had waved her brothers off to school, she was long awaited. Even now her mother worried that another day would pass without her baby’s arrival but finally, this was the moment that Réka decided to make her debut. When the contractions started to intensify, the midwife was promptly called, who eventually told Roza to start pushing. As the mother of three boisterous sons already, the young woman prayed fervently to the Little Saint Theresa for the baby to be a second girl. She was delighted when her prayers were answered, and Réka emerged healthy and with a good set of lungs. In honour of her blessing, Roza bestowed Réka with the middle name of Terezia.

The Horváth family, 1948 Above; From left to right: (standing) Pál Horváth, Piroska Horváth, Bálint Horváth, (sitting) Bálint Horváth, Grandma Bundy, Réka Horváth, Mrs. Bálint Horváth Rozália Bundy, József Horváth

Above; Excursion with Gitus to Jászó. From left to right: Soltész Brigitta-Gitus (from Szádudvarnok), two schoolmates of Annuksa from Jászó, Réka Horváth.

Standing in the back: Anna Mária Szanyi

The Réka Birthday Edition| 19 September 2017

7

To My

Birthday

CELEBRATION

R

A Childhood

Explored

éka was the youngest child and grew up in a farming environment, somewhat of a tomboy surrounded by her brothers. She has four older siblings, sister Piroska, Balint and Pal (or The Twins) and József.

Her first vivid memory is at the age of four years old when her older brothers had left her with matches, Réka explains further: “I started to strike the matches and my dress caught alight, I was happily dancing in the flames, very pleased with myself.

One of my brother’s friends saw and ran over to put the flames out. I still have the burn to this day.” Despite this incident their mother was not stern or overly harsh.

The children were (generally!) well behaved and did what they were told to make her happy, as they always trusted that Anyu knew best.

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The Réka Birthday Edition| 19 September 2017

Réka remembers that her brothers were always very kind to her: “The twins used to carry me and my other brother on the back of their bikes. They would often buy me gifts. I remember one Christmas they bought me the wooden furniture for a dolls house and a rubber shark for swimming”. Despite wearing her hair in long pigtails, she also copied everything they did, from climbing trees to shooting catapults. She explains further: “One day we all climbed this big tree and I got stuck – my brothers had gone and I had to scream for my mother to help me down. She told me that the same way I had climbed up I should find myself back down. Good advice for life! My brothers never picked on me or bullied me. They always protected me. When I was about five, I remember that my brother Balint was my hero. I loved all my brothers and I was and still am very close to them.”

Far Left; Réka smiling with her bouquet on her wedding day.

Left; Réka posing in a sixties beehive inspired shoot

The Réka Birthday Edition| 19 September 2017

9

Like Mother Like

Daughter

Growing up on a small Hungarian farm, this adventure seeking young girl had big dreams to travel far and wide

A

lthough her parents were not farmers in the true sense of the word, for sustenance they kept a few chickens and pigs. Réka grew up however to dislike chicken even until now because while growing up they had to eat chicken most days of the week!

Her mother was a practical, industrious woman who did not mind getting her hands dirty with work, a trait Réka adopted from her. Her son Emeka remembers how Réka often used her initiative to change and improve their surroundings; “I remember during school holidays, how we used to paint the house, lay tiles on the floor of the rooms in the house, and cultivate our small gardens both in the city and the village, Anyu was always working!” Describing her own childhood Réka reveals: “I had a very happy childhood. My mother was always happy. My father was a Barrister and we lived in a very big house.

My mother was a great mother, she was more than a mother to just us, for she was a mother to everyone.

Life was hard but she always made sure we had everything we needed.” Réka’s mother often put the children to work believing that idle hands led to idle minds: “We had to do a lot of things to help in the house, but I didn’t see any hardness in life. We had plenty of books and I really enjoyed reading. I liked animals so I grew up in the perfect place.”

The Réka Birthday Edition| 19 September 2017

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StyleR Child

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The Réka Birthday Edition| 19 September 2017

R

ĂŠka met her future husband, Dr. Christopher Emmanuel Okwunwe Okonkwo whom she called KristĂłf while he was on a medical posting at the hospital where she worked in Budapest, Hungary. He was attracted to her sharp wit and easy laugh whereas she was captivated by his warm smile and dapper style.

A man of distinction; The charismatic Dr Christopher Okonkwo showcases just why RĂŠka fell for him

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A

fter a brief courtship, Réka and Kristóf got married a few months later and lived on the outskirts of Budapest.

Nine years into their marriage and four young children later, they moved back to Kristóf ’s motherland, Nigeria.

It was a brave thing for Réka to do because she was departing to an utterly different culture and foreign way of life. Moving to Africa was almost unheard of in her country, but her love for Kristóf made her overcome every challenge that came her way. She soon fell in love with Nigeria and its culture and there was never a party or occasion that Réka attended that she didn’t appear clothed in Nigerian attire. The happy couple continued to be blessed with children. Firm but fair parents, they had similar values and ideas about morals and respect, despite hailing from opposite sides of the globe. Raising their children in an environment where they felt loved, cherished and informed about both cultures was paramount to the couple and they were often on the same page when it came to childrearing. Emeka explains further: “One thing I never saw my parents do and I respect them for, is quarrel or shout at each other in our presence. Anyu told me that they did have disagreements but they always settled it in their room, and they never went to bed without settling any conflict.” itsmymagazine.com| Spring 2013

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y r a g n u H MEETS

Nigeria A

fair maiden with a passion for travel meets a valiant prince with ties to the motherland.

So, Nigeria vs Hungary, who comes out on top..?

E

vidence from archaelogical discoveries have shown that there was a history of human existe existence in Nigeria which has been dated back to 9000 BC. Hungarians often refer to themselves as Magyars, after their ancestors who settled in the area 12 centuries ago when they migrated from central Asia. Only a small portion of Hungarians today is actually of Magyar ancestry.

H

ungarian athletes have won a total of 491 medals at the Summer Games and six medals at the Winter Games, Hungary has won more Olympic medals than any other existing nation that has never hosted the Games and has the second highest all time number of gold medals per capita of any nation behind only Finland.

Compare this to Nigeria who has only won a total of 24 medals, mostly in athletics and boxing and have never participated in the Winter Olympic Games.

HUNGARY ONE

The RĂŠka Birthday Edition| 19 September 2017

NIGERIA ONE

H

ungary has made important contributions to European classical music. Hungarian, Franz Liszt, was a wellregarded composer during the 19th century. He is best known for his piano music, but he also wrote for orchestra and other ensembles. Traditionally Igbo music relies heavily on percussion instruments such as the drum and the Udu percussion pot. Igbo music is generally lively and upbeat, popular Igbo music styles are igbo highlife and Odumodu, which have heavily influenced current West African music.

NIGERIA

ONE + HUNGARY ONE

D

isregarding that long held association with Nigerian scam artists and displaced princes needing to transfer their millions into your account, let’s talk about the black gold..oil.

Nigeria remains Africa¹s largest oil producer and it plays a major role in the country¹s economy, accounting for about 70 percent of government revenue totaling $1.125 trillion in 2016. Hungary has a historic love of real gold with the Hungarian parliament building erected in Budapest in 1896 using no less than 40kg of solid gold. Despite this display of extravagance, Hungary’s GDP was $124.3 billion in 2016.

NIGERIA ONE

R

eigning supreme after years of self government, Nigeria achieved independence and became free from British rule on 1 October 1960.

Whereas Hungary had been ruled successively by Turkish sultans and Austrian emperors for centuries when as early as 1848 the upsurge of revolutionary nationalism in Europe struck Budapest and the Habsburg regime was forced to accept a Hungarian national government.

HUNGARY ONE

A

firm staple, Nigeria’s Jollof rice is now world famous. However the Hungarian word for barbecue is szalonnasütés, which means “bacon cooking,” because the traditional way to cook bacon in Hungary is to hold a piece over an open fire while it cooks. Wrap it in meat and even better! However, we all know how tasty Jollof is...!

NIGERIA ONE

W

hile recent reports claim Nigerians are Africa¹s leading tipplers, downing 12.28 litres on average every year. Beer makes up just 6% of alcohol consumption, while ‘other’ drinks make up 94% due to the high popularity of home-brewed beverages. One of the most popular is known as ‘ Ogororo ’, famous for its strong kick. However, wine has been produced in Hungary since the 5th century A.D. In 1737, King Karoly named the Tokaj wine region a national wine area, making it the world’s first official wine region, almost 120 years before France’s Bordeaux. Ogororo vs wine anyone...?

Hungary ONE

Result: DRAW!

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W

hilst rather provincial, Réka has fond memories of the place she was reared: “It was a small town where everybody knew each other and about each other. We had one neighbour who was very creative and used to make lots of things out of wood – I used to enjoy sitting in the wood shavings in his workshop. There was a skilled blacksmith who made horse shoes. If I was not with the neighbor making wood I was with the blacksmith. Another neighbor had a farm and I started horse riding at 6 years old. We were able to do so much and roam where we wanted, one great thing about living in the country.”

Growing up, Réka had always wanted to be a doctor as she had always wanted to help people; particularly the elderly. Her teenage years passed with the usual onslaught of homework, chores and girly gossips about boys. She passed a lot of this time with her best friend Mary who was also her next door neighbour.

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The Réka Birthday Edition| 19 September 2017

Here brother Pal shares a fond memory of his kid sister Réka” “We used to call her on a made-up French name, Nyafirancia de Csücsöri (Whineyrancie de Purselips) because she used to whine a lot and she liked to purse her lips. I have never ever heard her complaining, not in her childhood, not as a student, not even as an adult. She has never scolded anyone, she has never bad-mouthed anyone. She has never lamented on anyone’s behaviour, not her father’s, nor her mother’s, nor her children, nor her grandchildren. At most, she reprimanded me with love – and I know- nothing else.Once in 1962, she visited us in our apartment in Zichy Jeno street. Back then, the superintendents believed that they were the all-controlling and all-managing Superman. At 10 at night, the gate was locked and only the superintendent, actually the “superindendess” could open it.

She stated that she couldn’t let a WOMAN up with us. Well, we told her to quit it and we went up to our apartment with the WOMAN. Réka, the child, was glowing because she was thought to be a fallen girl! Very funny times.”

Horváth Pál

From Baby Sister

To Loving Aunt

Here Réka’s older sister Piroska’s daughter pays tribute to the Auntie and confidant she has found great comfort in throughout the years

M

y auntie, the darling little sister of my mom who adored and loved her infinitely, was there with me, her sister’s first child, from the time I can remember.

Réka has always been there ever since, even after she had left with her husband Kristóf - we were all crying, I must be honest - to create their own uniquely loving family in Nigeria.

She used to tell me stories – interesting ones, including about the family, not only fairy tales. She took me around in Budapest and Nagykata and other places, along with my increasing number of little brothers; babysitting, teaching, feeding and entertaining us. Réka, one contently felt, was always around the corner. It was lovely – at least for me as a small child - to share the flat with her and the other siblings at Zichy Jeno utca. I was lucky to go to Nagykata to my grandmother Roza’s when she was there. The two of them, as I saw it, had the perfect relationship and shared common values, religion, devotion and love to the family (and of course kezimunka…). She came to live with us at Rath Gyorgy utca with her new husband – and that worked out well too! My mom sometimes surprised Kristóf, who spoke good Hungarian, with her special words like “macskaful” – and we children laughed our heads off as Réka was trying to translate and make sense of that loving expression.

There are so many stories. There is so much love and sometime worry as our darling Réka left to go to an unknown, unfamiliar world. No Facebook, Instagram, emails in the latter 1970s – it was painful not to be able to see her. We massively missed her. But it has been wonderful that so many of her children could come to Hungary and that, via that route, they have then settled in the UK. If not a story, let me give a “tweetline” about my Auntie because actually that is not difficult to create: “MY AUNTIE RÉKA HAS THE BIGGEST, WARMEST, KINDEST AND MOST UNSELFISH HEART IN THE WORLD. IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM, SHE IS THERE FOR YOU. SHE IS PURE LOVE AND DEDICATION TO HER FAMILY AND FRIENDS AND ANYONE IN NEED. SHE’S AN ABSOLUTELY ONE-OF-A-KIND WONDER.” So my dearest Réka, I cannot put into words how much I love you. Thank you for your love, care, affection, kindness, and your uncompromisingly beautiful soul.

Just as my mom, I love you infinitely.

Kis Piroska

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H

ere is a Hungarian poem for your birthday Réka “Nem az a lényeg, hogy múlnak az évek, Hanem, hogy szeretve szép az élet, Vannak álmaink, hittel telt az élet, S mondhatom Neked: Isten éltessen Téged!”

Serdülőkorunkban, Nagykátán, Piroska barátnőm húga, Réka számunkra nagyon kislány volt. Telt az idő, összeöregedtünk, (hozzáfiatalodtam?), így ma már saját jogon mondhatom barátnőmnek.

Térben távol volt/van, de mindig tudtunk/tudunk egymásról.

Sok kedves ajándékát őrzöm, telefonjait alig várom.

Réka számomra maga a megtestesült nyugalom.”

F

Teri néni, Nagykáta

avourite phrases often ...uttered by Réka include: ..“Jaj Istenem!” which means ..“Oh My God!”, “What am I coming to do now..?”, “Don’t you just love it”, “We are managing”,” Isn’t that lovely” and you can often hear her enquiring: “…Any more good news?”. Over the years whilst based in Nigeria, Réka graduated from the School of Nursing, and went onto further study in Social Work for which she gained a degree from the University of Benin. Never one to rest on her laurels, even now after retiring, Réka still enjoys spending time broadening her mind and studying whilst looking after her many grandchildren.

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The Réka Birthday Edition| 19 September 2017

A Woman of Virtue

I

Inspiring across the generations, here friend and colleague Theresa shares her memories of a professional, thorough yet compassionate friend

t is an honour to write about my friend, or Aunty as I fondly call her, as she is very dear to me. My first encounter with her was in the labour ward of the University of Benin Teaching Hospital in the 1980s.

My initial impression was that of a nurse/midwife cut out for service. Agile, always well turned out, resplendent in her uniform; cerebral, organized, dutiful and very smart. She was committed to serving humanity and her nation. This she carried out meticulously without blemish throughout her work in UBTH in Benin City, Nigeria. She spent most of her working life as a theatre nurse giving hope to the hopeless. An astute administrator, and disciplinarian, she rendered a selfless service; as a result many nurses loved to work with her.

She was outstanding in keeping to time and very thorough in whatever procedure she was involved with. She loved her home, husband and children alike. She taught me how to be a virtuous woman both at home and at the work place.

Her agape love transcended across all who came across her. She loves giving without expecting anything in return. She plays the host with complete joy.

Although mortal, she seems to have been insulated from the ravages of time. Her life and constant energy remain a source of inspiration to me.

My big aunty, is my succour, a friend I run to when faced with challenges in life, ever ready to lend a listening ear and give appropriate counsel. I have known her for over 40 years and never a cross word exchanged or bad feelings to fester. This is because she makes it easy for me to love her and to relate with her as if my biological sister.

RĂŠka is a peaceful and loving person to be with, making everyone around her happy. She is very accommodating, even to my children and anytime I am in the United Kingdom she makes me so comfortable that I find it difficult to go back home! As a catholic she never stops praying and interceding for us all. She is indeed exemplary and exceptional as her name implies --- RĂŠka.

My family and I congratulate you as you celebrate your 70th birthday. May God Almighty bless you and your family and keep you in good health as you celebrate many more years with the hope of making heaven in Jesus name.

R---Resilient

E---Ever loving

K---knowledgeable A---Always praying

the ride and have a blast. Happy Birthday! - Mum x

Theresa Omofuma

The RĂŠka Birthday Edition| 19 September 2017

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The Réka Birthday Edition| 19 September 2017

A great friend, Réka even inspired one woman to have children! Juli shares more details of their bond

H

appy birthday Réka! We wish you many more years with your children and grandchildren!

I am happy we met many years ago curtesy of our husbands.

It was just before our marriage and by then you had Balint. I fell

in love with him! It wetted my appetite to have a child as soon as possible. I still remember your “csusztatott palacsinta” you made for our first visit. It was delicious.

We met occassionally and you helped me to paint our rented home before we moved in. As I was newly pregnant, you decided to climb the ladder to do the high places. Except by then you were also pregnant with a much bigger tummy! Protectiveness of an older sister!

And I could call you a sister because we found out that we were distant relatives!

Our meetings continued even in Nigeria. Your husband was always very helpful to all of us, like a big brother.

Any time we traveled from Owerri to Lagos by road we stopped over in your house in Benin and had wonderful chats and delicious meals. Your home made bread was always enticing! Because of the distance it was not very often the children could meet but we organised exchange holiday programmes for them sometimes at your place, another time my house and also Gabi’s house. At one of the occasions I had ten of our boys (yours, mine and Gabi’s own) with me and we went to a hotel for a swim. I saw the hotel porter counting the number of boys I came with and when the last one passed he turned to me and questioned me: No girls madam??? Hmmmm, I had ten boys with me, is it not enough for a woman?

In a nutshell this is how we started to know each other and how our friendship has gone on. We still keep in touch with the help of the internet and hopefully very soon we can meet in person again and continue our chats where we left off.

Have a wonderful celebration Réka!

We will be with you in spirit!

Juli es

Alphonsus Enwere xx

THE

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The Réka Birthday Edition| 19 September 2017

NEXT

N O I T A R E N GE

The Réka Birthday Edition| 19 September 2017

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MEET

EMEKA

M

y Birthday Wish I often find myself wondering...

Did I give you your due?

For all that you’ve done for me.

Did I ever thank you? For all of my childhood memories, for helping deal with life’s stresses...

For helping me accept my defeats, and celebrate my successes?

Or for teaching me the value of hard work, good judgement, courage, and being true.

The laughter, smiles, and quiet times we’ve shared.

Did I ever thank you? If I have forgotten, I am thanking you now.

You taught me right from wrong, contentment and satisfaction, self-esteem and confidence.

I hope you know how much you are loved and appreciated. I pray that you will celebrate many more wonderful birthdays, and that you will continue to enjoy divine peace, health, joy, grace and mercy from our Lord Jesus Christ and that your days will always be filled with joy and laughter in Jesus’ precious name, Amen.

Boldog és kellemes születésnapot kívánok Édesanya

Szeretlek örökké

Balint es Henrietta

A Mother

like you...

To say that you’re wonderful, is just not enough.

You’re absolutely amazing, both beautiful and tough.

You’ve always encouraged me, to reach for the stars.

Taught me the importance, of brushing off scars.

I couldn’t have asked, for a better mother than you.

I’ll love you forever, that shall always be true.

I enjoy talking with you, laughing and spending time.

When we are apart, it feels like a crime.

You are a special lady, that places others ahead.

Always worked tirelessly, to provide me with shelter and bread.

For everything you have done, and all that you do, I’m fortunate and lucky, to have a mother like you.

Head and shoulders above; First born son Emeka has been used to being the protector and guide for his younger siblings from an early ageeend

The Réka Birthday Edition| 19 September 2017

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MEET

OKEIBUNO

D

arling Anyu.

Happy 70th birthday. We wish you all the best now and always. We are truly grateful for all the love you have showered upon us over the years. We are honoured to have such a lovely , giving and selfless mum like you.

Enjoy your special day and year !

And continue on making our lives a bit brighter each and every day.

Lots of love,

Okeibuno, Omo

Alex, Nathan & Naomi

Nagymama, you are special Your love knows no bounds A room takes special warmth whenever you’re around You think we’re cute and talented and maybe even wise But we know that’s why all grandparents, see through loving eyes.

Every day with you is precious We’re so grateful for the hours, Of all the grandmothers in the world We’re thankful that you’re ours!!!

The Réka Birthday Edition| 19 September 2017

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Our

LIVES

Intertwined

In addition to being great friends, Réka and old friend Gabi share an uncannily high number of similar amount of life experiences.

Here Gabi reveals more...

H

You are the type of person who can be burdened with appy birthday to you Réka! yet another load and yet you carry on. I remember when We have the same maiden name, I learnt to drive, you cared for my children beside yours Horváth, although we are not and even cooked lunch for us all. related. Surprisingly our lives The sad difference between us is that you became a widow have also resembled each other yet you married off each of your children singlehandedly. since our twenties. We both I admire your strength. married to Another similarity in our life is our young Igbo men studying medicine in children, all whom have moved Hungary. One of my earliest memory of to Europe. We abandoned our you was how you were trying to thicken large libraries to the mice, rats and semolina fufu in the hostel kitchen at cockroaches of Nigeria. We left our Rezső tér. We became pregnant and households and freedom in Africa expected our first child at almost the and we are now both guests of our same time, at the same exact hospital children in Europe. Our mutual joy with the very same doctor. I lived in is our grandchildren.

Kispest and you bought a house in Réka, thank you for all your help, Kispest also. You have six children and gifts and friendship throughout I have three. You moved to Nigeria with the years. God bless you with good your family, as did I in the seventies. health as you celebrate your 70th Your most remarkable quality is your birthday, be with your grandchildren willingness to help others. You find out and share yourself with the good everybody’s hidden wishes and you try people around you.

Réka and Gabi pose on a recent visit to fulfil them.

Your old friend,

“

Gabi Okeke

The real pictures, are not made of light and shadow, but of memories, and are carried within. . Remembering the summer vacations spent

together in Udvarnoki, Jánok and Nagykáta, your visit to Galánta and your help at the wedding in Budapest, I wish you a happy birthday on behalf of my whole family,

ciated with the activities we provided for our residents:

Annuska

Young ladies in love

Two shy girls grew into two vibrant, passionate women ready to take on the world, with husbands and young kids in tow Here close friend Eva shares her first thoughts on Christoph

R

éka and I attended Lehel Vezér High Unfortunately, I don’t have any photos of us together School in Jászberény in 1966. My during that time, but it was filled with fun and laughter. brother, János, finished high school at When she met Christopher, she brought him to us to the same time as the twins, Bálint and introduce him. Back then Tamás and I were already Pál, and he told me that their sister, friends, and we found him very kind and lovable. Maybe Réka had also started at the school. this also helped her in her decision to marry him. Tamás We hadn’t met before and since she and I got married in October. Andrea was born a year wasn’t in my class on the first day, I later, Bálint a couple months later. When Andrea was one could hardly wait to meet her. I went to the yard, and she year old, we had a car accident and I spent two weeks and another girl were under the trees eating a huge piece of on the surgery ward where Christopher worked, and he bread, with another piece in her other hand. I went straight used to change the bandages on my feet. Then again over to her and said, “Hi, you are Réka.” She later I gave birth to Évi, and Réka said, “Yes…and you are Éva Sárközi.” I had gave birth to Gergely a bit later. to say “You have a huge piece of bread, but I do have photos of the four kids why do you have two?” It turns out the other splashing around in a bathtub in one was for Jóska, who was in the fourth Jászberény. grade.

In 1978, we came to Stuttgart, Our relationship wasn’t intensive during and Réka and the family went to those four years because she didn’t live in the Nigeria. They used to stop over at dorm but took the bus home to Nagykáta ours when they visited home. every day. We attended physics together. She Our friendship has last for 54 used to sit right behind me and called me a years. Despite the distance, we are vegetable because I had a green tartan dress very similar, we understand each and a matching green cardigan. other without a word. Which is When I entered university we started to get no wonder: our roots are the same Lehel Vezér High School where the girls met close. I used to go swimming to the Császár and our family was very similar. bath two evenings a week, often dropping by in the Zichy Jenő I sincerely wish this friendship lasts forever. street to talk.

My fave

I

Éva Sárközi

Réka moments

’d like to tell three short stories about you which I think are all very you and that really meant a lot to me. Firstly, I was around four or five, when waking up at dawn in Nagykáta, I went into the big room and you were there nursing Bálint.

Back then any woman would shoo away a boy, but not you. I remember watching and taking in the wonder. It was beautiful, it meant a lot to me to witness it, and it had a valuable lesson of how naturally you took to a natural thing.

Second... Ráth György street, our apartment, you visited us. My father, as usual, got angry at something, and you suddenly jumped into his neck smiling, gave him a kiss and said, “Come on, brother-in-law, let it go!” My father wasn’t prepared for such an attack. He could quarrel and argue, but the kindness disarmed him: his anger disappeared and he started to smile! The whole scene suddenly seemed silly and senseless, even to him. I was just standing there and taught another lesson, how enormous the power of love is. Third... Once you told me that when you moved to Nigeria, Christoph went ahead and you followed him with four kids a couple of months later. You went there and you saw that the young nurses were swarming around the handsome doctor meanwhile you were at home with the kids. Add to this being alone in a strange land. However, you got yourself together and – since Christoph came home to have lunch – you changed twice a day to be pretty for your husband. I think it is a very good lesson – not only for women, but also for men! – That you can’t lean back in a relationship, every moment you must fight for the other’s attention and love. Happy Birthday!!!

Iso Mohacsi

The Réka Birthday Edition| 19 September 2017

31

MEET

IFECHUKWUDE

F

or all of the formative years, memories that have come and gone, we thank you.Those moments that may have happened so quick seemingly overwhelming to recognize the blessings being marinated; Life happens in different shades and Motherhood makes the hallmark.We appreciate you for putting up with such a tall order and coming out in spiffy colours.Forever we remain humbled and grateful for your continued tenacity and selflessness. May God in His infinite mercy grant you more years blazing with grace and glory, Amen.

With love forever in our hearts,

Ifechukwude & Osakponmwen

32

The RĂŠka Birthday Edition| 19 September 2017

xxx

My Guardian My Are there guardian angels?

I believe so For God gave me a beautiful lady to help watch me grow A lady so beautiful inside and out She had to be an angel God let slip out This lady’s a blessing from the Lord up above who taught me life’s lessons through courage and love A lady to protect me from all of my fears and love me and hold me and wipe all my tears

Angel

A lady so special she’s touched lives of many and keeps us together at all cost, if any This lady is my Grandma To her I do owe all the joy life can bring wherever she goes I love you, Nagymama Thanks for being you!

Chukwujuasiam

33

MEET

NWAKAEGO

M

ár ezerszer átgondoltam, de a megannyi milliónyi igazság közül az egyedüli igazság az, hogy igazán áldott vagyok, hogy te vagy az édesanyám.Néhány kedves emlék és fénypont, a megtartott olimpiai játékok, az egymásnak adott agyag medálok, a Nigéria beutazása a kék bogárral, az összes születésnap és családi ünnepség a különleges asztalterítővel, a tanítások (hímzés, főzés, sütés, stb.), de a legfontosabb, én vagyok az egyedüli gyermek, aki élvezte a WACE megírását veled. :)Légy továbbra is szeretetteljes, bátor, inspiráló, kalandozó, továbbra is adj és élvezz minden napot a lehető legteljesebben! #FinomAnyu, #realsuperwoman, #internationaltraveller

Az esküvőm napján te voltál az egyik legnagyobb ajándék. Igazán áldott vagyok, hogy te vagy az anyósom. Nem csupán kitártad otthonodat számomra, hanem emellett a szívedet is kitártad… köszönöm, hogy saját lányodként szeretsz, átsegítesz az anyaságon és otthont építesz.

Szeretetednek és kedvességednek hála édesanyám hiánya kevésbé fáj.

Megannyi leckét tanítottál az életről a gyermekkori történeteide keresztül… de mindegyik összefoglalható egy kifejezésben…. feltétel nélküli szeretet Valóban csodálatos vagy, csodaszép kívülbelül és továbbra is áldás vagy mindenki számára.

További csodálatos éveket kívánok számodra! Boldog 70. születésnapot! #sweetmotherInogoforgetyou The beautiful wedding tapestry made for the couple by the multi-talented Réka

Nwakaego xx

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The Réka Birthday Edition| 19 September 2017

Faith xxx

Boldog születésnapot az én tehetséges nagymamámnak! Megszámlálhatatlan okom van rá, hogy szeresselek, de a legnagyobb okom az…hogy először mindig másokra gondolsz. Köszönöm a kötött sapkákat, melyeket nekem készítettél.

Várom a 90. születésnapodat, hogy elvihesselek egy körre az igazi Lamborghinimben. #oneinazillionnagymama

Joszua x

Igazi áldás, hogy te vagy a nagymamám. A hozzád hasonló csodálatos nagymamák nem nőnek csak úgy a fákon…csak rajtam. Köszönöm, hogy tanítottál és neveltél, köszönöm a bájos ruhákat és hajszalagokat, melyeket nekem készítettél. Hosszú, örömmel és békével teli egészséges életet kívánok számodra. Boldog születésnapot a világ legnagyszerűbb nagymamájának! #superdupperNagymama

Gyorgyi x

Nagymama,

Our Superhero!

The Réka Birthday Edition| 19 September 2017

35

T E

M

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nd s aand I. r B a y st a app l the hizar H e fee u ar e, C u d t y n an yo an ain sA ee put pts at ort Lorr e s p d e an av m s, im o ,e , I cat I h atteation nd you t you s a e l e d u y cia re lov r e th an eq o spealso a ou stressanceratic e. y s n t the b A so o d i d w t d d a ’ u y o et has n, k in an r g qu e I oo f m s assears ve a at oo pains you ated wher l o m I t ic ld les y I’ h the ime f the ithouompl know chi rice r the child,ings t g t y a o p e e th in h a An me gh. Wing c on’t wit hat e ov d th the ndur so rou lain I d r e n m e w e a th exp wis just givenrent to se your r a e am se e ul e I reali hav th a pps m ou foort. v e u erf l i nd yo bo he k y pp l d e on .

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36

Spring 2013itsmymagazine.com |

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m ll du und me a ro g a r n i g e d ev u’re mak oun arin s c yo s d , N en ay an ing e ! v lw fe wh th one - sa e, lo e n r l A l r a n e nt the y ba fu fe - e n or . inl a, f f a o fu ert G and any inly am s n d ou so m cer ta ess c gym lot do now n y a r n u o p k o a o e d o t f t u hav , kin ve Y- st N ing od are yu ’re us ely O An nk G you go, I lness ou lo ver O you k r e t s o a b s e e a a u Y t f d th tha law ghtf ne. ill n to i - on M ings cti – i all .

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r Lo

37

MEET

ROZA

A

s Anyu turns 70, I am trying to come up with words that will best describe what she has been to me and now to us (Omoh, Kristof and Myself)….. I am struggling. Anyu has been everything……

Anyu has been my rock, our rock, helping me through my most difficult times. Anyu is the reason why I am the woman I have become today. Anyu gave me my strength, my confidence, and ultimately has made me ME. My Dad used to call Anyu his GREEN TIGER…. She has beautiful green eyes and can be as ferocious as a tiger. A tiger is cautious, determined, persistent, energetic, strong and fearless.

My Anyu is all of these and more.

38

The Réka Birthday Edition| 19 September 2017

7

70 As you turn 70 Anyu, I pray that God grants you many more years, in good health.

As you turn 70 Anyu, I want to say thank you for all you have been, all you are, and all you continue to be.

As you turn 70, we just want to say WE LOVE YOU EDES ANYU!

Roza, Omoh &

Kristof

Left; A beloved daughter and friend; As the only daughter, Roza and RĂŠka share an extra special bond. Here she gives her daughter to a worthy man

The RĂŠka Birthday Edition| 19 September 2017

39

How To Be A

Social Butterfly As a young woman entering a completely unfamiliar culture, just how did Réka manage to settle in and make roots in the glorious motherland of Africa?

Here close friend Veronica shares her thoughts

M

I first met Réka in 1979 Réka is a hardworking, loving woman. She would come when my husband and I home from the night shift with scantly any sleep, before went to see them in their going on school runs for the kids. She would then teach the UBTH House after they had children and assist all of them with their school work. Her just moved in with their four dedication to her family informs the success we all see in sons from Europe. Both of her family today. our husbands Réka is an ardent reader and each were doctors at UBTH, Dr Okonkwo time I saw her, she would be reading of blessed memory was a great pediatric a new book. Her strong belief in surgeon. He was a beautiful man to education made her go back to the know and we all loved him and miss University of Benin to earn a degree him deeply. We hit it off right away and in social sciences. She is a also very we both had a passion for sewing and sociable. She was the brains behind crafts. She is an extremely talented lady the founding of the Niger Wives and at the time would teach me how to association. This was an organization sew better. A skill I would end up using for women married to Nigerian all my life.Living in a foreign country is men who were not from Nigeria a challenge for anybody but Réka came themselves. They would see to each from Hungary and make Nigeria her other’s well being, and held meetings home. She adopted to Nigeria better at different venues each year and it than some indigenes. She integrated helped them get to know Nigeria into the culture and the community better. At weekends she and the seamlessly, with her dressing, cooking family would go to their country and interaction with everyone . Her home in Ogwashi-Uku and home was everybody’s home. She spend time with the people in the brings to my mind the biography of community. This way she adopted Réka always resplendent in Nigerian attire George Washington of USA. It is both the city and country life. “It said that he welcomed everyone into his home, no makes no difference , they are the same” she would say. matter the time that they arrived or left and made Anybody who knows Réka would want to be her friend. them feel welcome. As a nurse, Réka told me all I She is a lesson in hard work, adaptability and endurance. needed to know in my first pregnancy and supported She is a loving woman and I wish her a long healthy life. me to the end, and did so for all four of my children. and posterity. Happy birthday Réka. We love you.

My first son, Loteh became Réka’s Godson.

“

It was in autumn 2009 when I first met Réka.

Out of the blue, she came to “our” nursinghome The Grange Attenborough as a care assistant. From the first day, I could see and feel her love and experience in all aspects of care for our elderly people. I always enjoyed working alongside her and I am grateful for all the support and kindness I received till Réka left in autumn 2014. There are many special memories associated with the activities we provided for our residents: For example; On our “Fruity Friday” Reka bought special fruits like a coconut, something I had never considered bringing but it was well received.

There are many special memories associated with the activities we provided for our residents:

Veronica Okafor

For Harvest Festival Réka baked special Harvest Bread, a Hungarian delicacy which brought joy to our residents.

Reka borrowed books from the library for our residents to keep their minds sharp and active.

When she left, I was genuinely sad, as I lost a good friend here at work. However - we are still in contact and I think about her lots.

Therefore, I wholeheartely wish her more good years to come, God’s protection and blessings for herself and her growing family.”

Renate Deines

The Réka Birthday Edition| 19 September 2017

41

OUR BLESSINGS

Birthday

All the best wishes for your jubilee from Laci, Anicka and the whole Bohus family from Homonna

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Spring 2013itsmymagazine.com |

Happy birthday Réka!

Isten tartson meg nekünk a hetvenen túl is bis hundert und zwanzig! Horváth Jutka

Happy Birthday and God’s blessings to you!

Chuke and the Okeke family xxx

l g Flying The Flag In a Nigerian precurser to the Real Housewives TV format, the trail-blazing Niger Wives provided a source of comfort and inspiration in equal measure, here Jane shares her thoughts on her special relationship with the first Okonkwo lady

R

a balcony on a P & O cruise ship. No frills for us: formal éka and I met around the time I meals not our scene, but great choice in the buffet, the decided to join Niger Wives, that occasional talk or music event, and Réka able to swim every multi-national group of women morning. We nearly missed the boat in Oslo and had to married to Nigerians. Monthly run along the harbour. I tired in Copenhagen but Réka meetings in different homes went boldly on to see all the sights. brought us all together In Stockholm, Réka led me to the and gave us all a fascinating outdoor Skansen museum chance to sample each other’s food offerings with traditional houses from all over along with sharing experiences. Then Elue the country. In St Petersberg it was and Peter, our 2 youngest sons, met and tours, including the Hermitage, to be became friends at UDSS; and there another covered by the group visa. In Tallinn, bond was formed. Time went by, our we found an exhibition of painters we husbands died, and we both found ourselves both liked in the town hall in that very in England, my country of origin and the special old town; and in Helsinki we place where Réka’s children had chosen had two guides, Peter, Elue’s friend, to settle. We exchanged emails and the and his Finnish partner, Heidi, who occasional phone call until the day when ride RÉKA, and have a blast.

Birthday!

- Mum x Réka rang and asked whether I’d go on a “HAVE A GREATthe DAY, tookHappy us to some great places. cruise with her. Well……I didn’t want any and many happy years ahead!

Two years down the line and a flying and didn’t fancy the Mediterranean Many more years with the hope birthday in the offing. A lot to look and Réka went along with all my prejudices of making heaven in Jesus name.” back on and we hope still plenty to look and we set off for the Baltic in a cabin with forward to, still adventuring as we go.

Jane Ugbo

The Réka Birthday Edition| 19 September 2017

43

To our lovely Nagymama,

Our Nagymama is a blessing She’s thoughtfulness and love.

T he fibest and most precious gift, Sent from our Father above.

She’s always there for us, Whether skies be grey or blue.

She’s always lending a helping hand, Giving comforting hugs too.

Our Nagymama is a blessing, T he most precious one of all.

We Love You!!!

Alex, Nathan, Naomi, Joszua, Gyorgyi, Ian, Kristof and Chizara.

The RĂŠka Birthday Edition| 19 September 2017

45

Lop Left; Lush fabrics: A beautifully crafted material in elegant tones of teal and sepia

GETThe

Top; A delicate knitted shawl of a similar style to fashion maven Réka

LOOK

With Réka

Headwear and ceremonial beads play an important part in Nigerian culture, captivate audiences with full traditional dress, just like Réka

Coral to inspire: In Nigeria both men and women love precious Coral Beads during their traditional wedding and its also part of certain culture in Nigeria

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The Réka Birthday Edition| 19 September 2017

Headwear Fit For A Queen: Dazzle like Réka in an emerald green head wrap (as shown by model)

A Beauty

to INSPIRE

Some things you might not have known about Réka, & ways that she’s kept her body and soul sweet up to seventy

1

Réka adores hand crafts such as embroidery, knitting, sewing and crochet – “I love making things for family and friends and swimming –I enjoy every opportunity to swim.”

A Doll’s Life: The handcrafted bed Nagymama made for one of her grandchildren for the dolls ChiChi & Dori Always Busy: Boxing cookies before the wedding of István Estélyi and Nóra Tala, Budapest, 11th July, 2015

2

Do you have any hobbies or special interests?

“I LOVE travelling – favourite places that I have visited include – Florence, the Taj Mahal and machu picchu in Peru.

Other places that I have travelled to include; Baja, Slovakia, Eger –, Switzerland, Zurich, Italy, Russia, Germany, Nigeria, Ghana, Finland, Bolivia, Peru, Argentina, Brazil, Denmark, Estonia, India and China. “

4 Real Netflix & Chill: A comfy sofa, an old film and caramel ice cream is her favourite combo

If you won £1million tomorrow, how would you spend it? “I will give money to each of my children and their families - £100,000.

I will send money to my husband’s family to improve the family home and to redo the roads. I’d refurbish the chapel in my home town Nagykata. and keep the rest for myself to go travelling.”

What’s the most difficult thing that ever happened to you?

How did you deal with it?

“The death of my husband was hard on us all.

I leaned on prayer. That’s the best thing do in such circumstances. He has left a great legacy though, and of that, I know he’d be proud.”

A Family United: The family pose with their beloved dad

The Réka Birthday Edition| 19 September 2017

47

Knowing Me Knowing you..

B

efore I start my tribute to Réka Okonkwo, please allow me to express- with few words- the beauty of mixed race marriages.

I am in the “same shoes” as the popular saying states because a long time ago I married a young, handsome Nigerian myself.

In our normal, hard-working, down to earth lifestyle in Hungary in the early 60s/70s opportunities to experience life in another country was very rare, let alone experiencing life in a tropical country. So, pending that you are self confident, well educated, adventurous enough, enlightened and deeply in-love, you agree to marry, follow and live life together in one big happy family in Nigeria with your Nigerian husband and his family.

After 40 years of marriage I can say that such marriage is beautiful, interesting, hard, rewarding, fulfilling, requires patience and understanding till the very end. Réka and I lived our separate lives as medical professionals in different fields but as it is in life our roads met.

- Article by Gyorgyi Ejiofoh

She and her husband Dr. Kristoph Okonkwo were the Patron and Matron at my wedding reception in 1976. Réka assisted in the cutting of cake ceremony with prayers, best wishes, motherly advice and special touches.

As time goes flying by, our children grew up, got married, started working in various countries and companies, our grand children started arriving just like an ordinary family life that happens to everyone.

After a while both of us moved to Nigeria.

She and her expanded family were in the South of Nigeria, while Martin and I were in the North of Nigeria. We both worked hard, children were born, travels took place to and fro between Nigeria and Hungary, we visited each other in both countries and we lived our lives checking up on each other.

Until we received the terrible news of Dr. Kristoph Okonkwo’s illness that was treated in Hungary, his return to Nigeria, agonising, prolonged period of hope of his recovery then the end of his life. The news shook us, silenced us, we cried and we were sad…….. but she picked up the tread of life and continued living. As I said earlier, unfortunately such is life. Ups and downs, happiness and sadness, good health and illness, new arrivals and sad departures…..

One day, Réka’s family decided to have a nationwide road trip, I can’t remember the year, that was the time she met our family in Kaduna. You can imagine the stories narrated one after another! It was so good to have an update on the happenings since we met last. She gave me a pottery piece (a large clay decorative pot with engraved design) that is up till now still decorating my sitting room and each time I touch it or look at it, it brings back sweet memories about her, her family and her legacy that lives in my heart.

My family and I also visited her in Ogwashi Uku on one of her wedding anniversaries.

Oh such a celebration it was! I wish that will be me celebrating such an anniversary with my family one day! There were so many cakes on that day to share, it was so Major Janos, Gyorgyi’s father and the Okonkwos at her wedding amazing. I never imagined that she actually One day, my then boyfriend, Martin invited baked a cake for every family present. me to visit a family who just had their first Then we had a fantastic beach holiday on baby. It was in 1974. I was so excited, I was the shores of the Abraka River in 1996. happy and my imagination was soaring.

“Oh, now I will see how a baby looks like from a Nigerian father and a Hungarian mother and also how do they live, how is their home looks like, who are their friends, what they eat, etc.”

That visit was so good and I learned a lot; that was the first time I met Réka her husband and their first son and enjoyed their lovely, family-like warmth that radiated from both of them. Since then, the lives of her family and mine with The legendary1972 visit to Abraka River Beach Martin were inter-twined.

The Ejiofohs visit the Okonkwos

My tribute to Réka is already long therefore it is now on behalf of my family and myself, wishing her a happy 70th birthday. I also believe that if all women in the world were like her, the world would be a much better place. She is a gem and a very good example to follow.

She constantly gives and gives with all her heart with sincere honest love of humanity till this moment….

Your friend,

Gyorgyi Ejiofoh

Friend To Many A Mother To All

I

became close to Mrs Okonkwo during an adult education lesson she volunteered to teach at St. Albert and when I had my last daughter I asked her to be her godmother and she accepted and ever since then she has always been a wonderful person to me and my family.

She has always participated in every occasion I invited her to. I can never forget how she was present with me during my late husband’s burial; she traveled and stayed with me in my village.

On this day I continue to wish you joy and happiness, many more years. For all the countless things you have been doing may God continue to bless you.

Amen.

Margaret Ugwu

I

first met my cousin, Réka, when I traveled to Hungary with my mother in 1968. Réka was recovering from appendicitis but after she was released from the hospital we went on a little trip. She spoke no English and I spoke no Hungarian but that didn’t stop us from having a wonderful time. The weather that October was very cold at night and we laughed over our sleeping gear of all our clothes and blankets. My next meeting with Réka was forty years later and it was like we never were apart. Love you lots.

Marita

K

nowing you, Mrs Okonkwo wasn’t a choice I had to make as I was only an infant, but amongst all the best decisions my parents have made was asking you to be my Godmother. I am sure they already saw how much of a beautiful soul you are.

Every year you send me a cake, a card or a present for my birthday; no matter how far apart we lived and I have always found that amazing. What is even more amazing to me is how you have never once forgotten my birthday. These gestures are and always will be precious to me.

May this special day bring you lots of reasons to smile and abundance of joy and happiness because you truly deserve that and more. I am grateful for your love, support and guidance thus far. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MA. With love from

Chichi

The Réka Birthday Edition| 19 September 2017

49

M

eet our sister...Queen of the discreet.

A birth in secret.

Once upon a time the members and friends of the Okonkwo and Horvath family came together in the little house in Kispest to celebrate a family event. The good housewife served dinner and her world famous cakes. It was a really funny party indeed. All the participants were lovely and talkative people and as the time passed the lively party didn’t notice that the housewife had disappeared. So it was completely unexpectedly that the telephone rang and the family and guests were informed by the St Stephen’s hospital that we now have a new family member. Our dear sister went alone secretly to the hospital by tram and thus Christopher was born!

A memory from us...

H

I will never forget when I had nowhere to stay while I was doing my housemanship in UBTH you took me into your home and I was treated no different from your own children. As if that was not enough you looked after William (Jnr) my little boy while I went to work never asking for anything in return. You did for me what no one has ever done for me and for that I celebrate you Aunty Réka.

I can never repay your kindness but I do pray that God will reward you openly and abundantly.

Chichi Okonji & Family

Gyorgyi & Balint

M

y husband used to tease me that Auntie Réka was my surrogate mum. When I was around her, I felt like a beloved child. I am so grateful to have such a great friend, Aunt, mentor, mother role model in my life. I admire you, Auntie Réka. You are remarkable and unique, warm and supportive, a fine human being. Auntie Réka was a touchstone in my life. She was very easy to talk to, always willing to listen and forthcoming with motherly advice. Even if sometimes it wasn’t what I wanted to hear! I hope my mum doesn’t read this, but when my mum wasn’t around during my first pregnancy crisis, Auntie Réka stood by me especially through the difficult and challenging time. She did what my mum would have done for me. I felt loved and encouraged to deal with life at that moment. One interesting thing about Auntie Réka is that she never liked taking photos. If only she knew the beauty she possesses.

I feel honoured to have this opportunity to THANK YOU Auntie Réka.

HAPPY 70th BIRTHDAY BEST WISHES.

M E S S A G E S

appy 70th birthday Aunty Réka!

May the Lord bless you more and more, may He continue to strengthen you and grant you all that your heart desires.

H

appy 70th Birthday Réka!

We thank God for your life and friendship. You have always been so welcoming to us and our family and we really loved having you visit us in Ghana.

We pray that God will grant you many more years of good health. May God Almighty bless you with a life full of joy and happiness and may you always find favour in his eyes.

Have a wonderful birthday.

Love

Ifechide Kpalobi

M

The Reimmers

y first priestly Pastoral Work was blessed with the opportunity of knowing Réka. Just a couple of months after my ordination in August 2007. I was always seeing this somewhat tall, beautiful and calm looking OYIBO Lady in Church. One cool unforgettable evening after mass, Réka walked up to me and appreciated my interesting, time conscious and straight to the point Homily. Actually she is the first person to compliment me since I had just been ordained. We discussed this for a while and I got to know her name, where she was staying and her family. After this, a few weeks later, she indicated a strong interest in teaching young people preparing for marriage. Réka let me know that one of her sons was my age mate. Before I left Ogwashi-Uku town, I already felt like one of her sons and started getting acquainted with my siblings like Roza who gave me an unforgettable surprised visit in Asaba, and whom I was so happy witnessing her marriage in St Albert Parish, University of Benin.

I want to say and shout a BIG HAPPY 70TH BIRTHDAY TO A WONDERFUL WOMAN, MY FRIEND AND MOTHER FROM ANOTHER CONTINENT. I PRAY FOR MORE YEARS OF GOOD HEALTH OF MIND AND BODY. AMEN.

Rev. Fr Kingsley Idehen

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The Réka Birthday Edition| 19 September 2017

M E S S A G E S

R

éka, is the beautiful wife of my late brother, Dr C. O. Okonkwo.

Réka is the replica of Ruth in the Bible. She is a loving and devoted wife.

Réka, a.k.a.”The Only Wife in The Universe” (by me), I am wishing you a very Happy birthday today.

May you enjoy good health and prosperity!

Love you,

Elizabeth Egbuna

I

remember Réka in the Nagykata house, just the two us, me about 12-14. She sang me the Hungarian pop song Ahogy lesz úgy lesz (Whatever will be will be)...

I enjoyed it most, both her voice and text. Please ask her if she remembers this!

I’ve always admired her dresses, both the Nigerian and European styles and look forward to the next family occasion when she wears them. Happy Bday!!!

Gabi

R

éka is our cousin, our neighbor, and - especially during the times of our wedding and the births of our children - our mentor. Her special ability is - and big thanks for it - that whenever we needed help, she always appeared and was actively with us. Our nicest memories involving Réka are a cruise with EsztergomVisegrád school in the 1960s, visiting the Tanya in Tápióbicske, (lots of biking together, pumping up the bike tire all the time) patronising the birth of our kids. May this day be your best in your life in happiness and health!

Happy birthday!

Vali, Gyuri & The Magosses

H

appy 70th birthday Anyu!!! As you celebrate this milestone birthday, we want you to know you’re very special to our family, and we pray that God will continue to renew your strength and grant you all your heart’s desires.

We love you and wish you the best years ahead as we look forward to celebrating more of your birthdays.

“There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of the people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will have truly defeated age.”

“- Sophia Loren”

The Akpotoma Family

D

ear Mrs. Okonkwo, Isten éltessen! Together with my siblings Michael, Catherine, Maria and Theresa, I am wishing you a very happy birthday.

Today, I am writing exactly 20 years since my parents passing. While this was a harrowing day for all of us, we will always fondly remember the role you and your family played in our healing. You watched over my younger sisters with a mother’s caring warmth, at a time when they needed it the most. Your family provided food, medical care and love at this most crucial time, and you cared for my parents, for which we are immensely grateful.

I hope you enjoy your day, and get all that you wish

Daniel and the Mamahs

R

éka Okonkwo, my Hungarian friend and Sister.

Réka impressed me by the way she assimilated the Nigerian igbo culture, she learned the language, cooked their food, raised her kids to respect elders and be proud of themselves as igbo.

Réka always opened her doors to her husband’s family and friends. She is a typical example of the virtuous woman in the book of Proverbs chapter 31. She woke up early, to do chores her hands are always busy even at her leisure she is crocheting. Baked the bread they eat at home. As a prudent woman, she opens her mouth and seasoned words of comfort comes out of it, always. My friend, my confidant. I cherish the time we spent together as our children were growing up together. I have learnt a lot from you. Anytime I bake bread, I remember you each time. I see Akeem and Seun and I remember all the help and support you gave to them. You are far away in a foreign land now but my affection for you remains the same. It can never be a case of out of sight, out of mind- never.

Your friendship to me and my family is still on, distance couldn’t stop us. Lots of love and well wishes as you celebrate your birthday, from your friend and sister.

I wish you many more happy years with the children, grandchildren and great grand children in Jesus name!

Dr. Mrs Titi Lawal

MESSAGES FROM

THE

T

RIBUTE FROM A BEST FRIEND...

1966-ban jöttünk mindketten a Jàszberényi Lehel Vezér gimnàziumba.A bàtyàm Jànos együtt érettségizett az Ikrekkel,Bàlinttal és Pàllal,és Ö mondta Nekem,hogy majd Réka,a hùguk is most kezd.

Mivel az elsö nap nem volt az én osztàlyomban igy az elsö szünetetben màr alig vàrtam,hogy talàlkozhassak Vele,Mivel még soha nem talàlkoztunk elötte.

Kimendem az udvarba, és a fàk alatt egy màsik làny tàrsasàgàban àllt ,és egy hatalmas karély kenyeret uzsonnázott, és a màsik kezében is volt még egy kenyér.

Egyenesen hozzàmentem és mondtam,Szia Te vagy a Réka.Mondta igen és Te még Sàrközi Éva.”Jò Nagy kenyered van, de kettö?”

A màsik az Jòskànak volt,Ö 4.-be járt.

Tulajdonképpen nem volt intensiv kapcsolatunk a négy év alatt, mert Ö bejàrò volt,és a tanitàs utàn buszozott haza Nagykàtàra.

Még a fizika szakkörön voltunk együtt,és Ö mindig mögöttem ült és zöldségnek nevezett ,mert volt egy zöld skòt kockàs ruhàm,és egy zöld kardigànom hozzà.

Amikor az egyetemre jàrtam,igazibol akkor jöttünk jobban össze.Egy héten kétszer mentem este a Csàszàr fürdöbe ùszni, és egy òràval elötte gyakran felmentem hozzàjuk Zichy Jenö utcàba beszélgetni.

Sajnos fényképem nincs, ahol együtt lennénk.Nem sok,csak ennyi.

Amikor megismerkedett Kristóffal,elhozta hozzànk bemutatni,akkor én és Tamàs màr baràtok voltunk,és Nagyon kedvesnek,sympatikusnak talàltuk Kristòfot,és Talàn segitett ez is a döntésében,hogy férjhez menjen hozzá. Oktoberben Tamással mi is összeházasodtunk.Egy év múlva született Andrea, és pàr hònappal késöbb Bàlint Amikor Andrea1 éves mult,volt nekünk egy autò balesetünk,és én 2 hétig voltam a sebészeten,ahol Kristóf dolgozott és cserélte a kötéseket a làbamon. Ezek utàn született nekem Évi,és Rékának megint egy kicsivel késöbb Gergely. Abbol az idöböl amikor a 4 Gyerek közösen pancsolt a

52

MOTHERLAND...

kádban Jàszberényben, van egy pár képem.

1978-ban kijöttünk Stuttgartba, és Rékáék kimentek Nigériàba,és akkoriban gyakran ùtbaejtettek Bennünket,amikor haza látogattak.

54 évre nyulik vissza ez a baràtsàg.

Valahogy Nagyon egyformàk vagyunk, szonélkül is megértjük egymàst, nem csodahogy ugyanazok a gyökereink,ugyanolyanok a csalàdi körülmények.

Remélem a baràtsàgunk örökké tart.

Sárközi Éva

See me twirl: Traditional Hungarian dancers hjnnjjn jom

K

edves Réka!

Hetvenkedünk,hetvenkedünk?!

Boldog vagyok,hogy köszönthetlek 70. születésnapodon!

Adjon az isten erőt és egészséget! (a többit megtudjuk venni.)

Az életkor nem érdem,hanem állapot.

Ez csak egyet jelent,mindketten élünk.

Az élet pedig SZÉP! Kicsit drága,kicsit vagy épp nagyon gyötrelmes,de szép! Örüljünk unokáinknak,örüljünk hogy tudunk segíteni gyermekeinknek.

Fájdalmainkban is át tudnak segíteni, hiszen nem maradunk cél nélkül.

Mind ketten értelmiségi családból származunk és mind ketten szép kis poros faluban Nagykátán töltöttük gyermekkorunkat.Akár büszkék is lehetnénk erre (én nem vagyok a II.világháborúban betöltött szerepe miatt).

Az értelmiségi származás mint tudjuk az 1950-es években kis-hazánkban nem a

The Réka Birthday Edition| 19 September 2017

legjobb ajánló levél volt,de túl éltük.

Aztán jöttek a 60-as évek,amikor már kicsit jobb volt.

Az iskolába bevezették a koedukált osztályokat,így kerültünk egy osztályba hetedikesként és jártunk két évet a Zárda utcába.

Akkor mi kamasz fiuk berzenkedtünk az összevonás miatt,mondván “a lányokkal nem lehet semmit játszani” Később -mindenkinél máskorez a vélemény megváltozott.

Mikor a fizikai közelséget méterben lehetett mérni , lelkileg nem igazán álltunk közel egymáshoz,Talán a féltékenységem miatt volt ez így,hiszen legjobb barátom egy idő után veled szívesebben töltötte idejét mint velem és ez akkor nagyon fájt.

(Hál istennek ezt pár éve tisztáztuk) Aztán volt idő -elég hosszú- mikor csak szüleinktől tudtunk valamit is egymásról,mert hogy föld részek választottak minket el egymástól.

De hát változnak az idők. A fizikai távolságot ma 1000 km-ben mérjük,ennek ellenére -én legalább is úgy érzem- lelkileg közel kerültünk egymáshoz,köszönhető az internetnek.

Vannak közös barátaink:Bodri,Sajó,Tutu .

Végül meg kell köszönjem -tudom nem egy születésnapi köszöntő levélhez illő- a májusi mindennapos leveleid amivel erőt adtál!

BOLDOG,BOLDOG SZÜLETÉSNAPOT KÍVÁNOK!!!

Kívánom,hogy legyen még sok ilyen szép napod.

Pilissy Béla

Comfort food, Delicious Hungarian Goulash

Friend To Many

A

z en edes Rekam – my dearest Auntie Réka!

There are so so many things, happening, events, small and dramatic changes, utmost happiness - and sometimes tears - that link me to my dearest Auntie Réka that I really do not know where to start. Is there a most memorable/typical/funny/ dreamy/shocking/consoling/happy event that one can choose, if only so as to leave space for others to write about her?...

I have been thinking hard since her children has asked for a story abut her for her next big birthday. But it is impossible to “choose” because I really do not know life without Réka.

Balázs

Mother To All

D

ear Réka!

The years have flown by, yet those beloved memories that are so nice to remember always stay with us.

Our friendship started in the elementary school; we became good friends. We played a lot in your house in Gyóni Géza Street, where I always loved to go. I will never forget those beautiful old dresses that I loved to put on. Till today I can see that wild boar lying on the floor of the room. I loved it so much.

Do you remember when we and our friends were playing hide-and-seek or tag around the house?

Sleeping in the vineyard’s press house is also a cherished memory. We used to have a beautiful childhood, not like today’s children who are sitting in front of the computer.

Life separated us as we drifted apart since we started going into different high-schools. Our beloved mothers, as long as they were alive, talked about you a lot, so I always knew how you were even though fate had took you so far away.

I was so happy to meet you again after all those years when you invited me to visit the place of our happy childhood. Entering the house, I was immediately looking for that wild boar and those beautiful old clothes. As we got nostalgic and memories came up we became children again for a couple of hours.

Thank you!

Although there is a big distance between us, I am happy that again I could get closer to you, we could freshen up on our friendship, since the years are running by.

I wish you a very happy 70th birthday. I wish you good health and many upcoming happy years in the circle of your loving family, children and grandchildren.

Sajó x

I

t was the Spring of1969... once, her mother came to Budapest and Joska took me to Zichy Jeno street, Reka, Rozsi neni and Balint were there.

I was much awed and this is how we met.

Here comes the story: a pig slaughter in Nagykata - by chance it happened that boys came only the next day.

It was to be my first pig slaughter. There were only the two of us in the house as Anyuka (Rozsi neni) was at the school giving a sewing lesson. The pigsticker came early with a helper and started the slaughter. I actually had to stir the blood!, although I’d never done this kind of thing before. By the time Anyuka came home from school, everything was ready... prepared by just the two of us.

Ági néni xx

I

met Réka as we were neighbours as children.

We lived close by for six years but we share relatively few common memories.

After that, life had different paths for us, in studies, work, friendship groups. We both moved from Nagykáta and had heard little about each other. A long time passed before we met again as I moved back and became friends with Jozsi and Agi, and she began coming around more often. I always look forward to her next visit. We usually do not have much time as she is always busy, but I will wait for the time when will have schedules in common to really catch up!

What else could I wish you but a substantial, healthy, happy life among your beautiful family.

Teri néni The Réka Birthday Edition| 19 September 2017

53

R

éka Okonkwo: Our wife; mother; in-law or rather sister, Aunty, friend....The other words that come to mind whilst thinking of her are matriarch, loving, caring, loyal, strong, exceptional, wise, a solid Ogwashi woman, who happened to have been born in Europe!

I first met her in Ogwashi-Ukwu, and her husband and my cousin, Dr. Emma Okonkwo, introduced me.

She immediately greeted me with Ike, my mother’s greeting.

Since my greeting is derived from my paternal side, I quickly corrected her, and her Uwaoma doubled with Ogwude made us all smile, knowing full well she felt a full sense of belonging.

That warmth in the relationship has continued; in spite of difficulties and resulting relocations, we have kept up the connection, a link that Emma would have been proud of. When their daughter, Roza, was getting married, Réka made sure she carried out the family traditions in Ogwashi, to speed the young woman on her way to a successful union.

Further, in England, she has made sure to substitute the extended family system with all its emotional support network for the nuclear, ensuring that the Okonkwo family has an extensive Ogbe-Ubu connection, including children, grandchildren, in-laws, cousins, friends, and colleagues.

For this successful experiment, we warmly thank Réka, our Materfamilias.

Ike o; dalu o; Chukwu demei o! I ga to lanyi o. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! From the Okocha relations of Ogbe-Ubu Chikwenye Okonjo Ogunyemi

Remember When...

the year 2011, you took me in as your own, like I was your I n second daughter. You taught me a lot of things...embroidery,

bread making, biscuits, baking...and a whole lot more.

You travelled a lot with me, both learning new things; even welcoming my entire family.

You kept a special place for me in your home, it was a second home ...the list is endless.....

All these things happened because you have a BIG heart!

Even though you are far away, you occupy a special place in my heart.

Happy 70th Birthday Aunty Réka; continue to age with grace.

54

Spring 2013itsmymagazine.com |

Sarah- Louise Okozi Asogwa

Love NOTES

R

éka Okonkwo: my neighbour, my friend and my sister.

I have known Réka for more than thirty five years and she was my next door neighbour for more than twenty five of them.

We were very close and shared many thingsincluding children! Some of our friends didn’t know which children belonged to which mother.

Réka always has time for everyone and everything.

She worked nights at UBTH and days at home.

She sewed for everyone: not just her own children- and still sews, knits and embroiders for her grandchildren.

Réka is like a mother hen. Despite all this work, she still found time to teach adult literacy classes.

Réka taught me to cook some Hungarian dishes and I taught her the British style of cake baking (very different from Hungarian).

We still manage to see one another occasionally when we are on the same continent and we correspond frequently by e-mail and Whatsapp, which is wonderful.

I would like to take this opportunity to wish my sister lots of love and congratulations on her 70th birthday.

Happy Birthday Réka!

Sorry that I am not around to make your birthday cake, but I am sure your daughter and daughters -in-law will make an even better job of it :) Lots of Love.

Eileen, Raymond and the Ukus

y p p Ha y a d th r i B ! a k Ré 55

itsmymagazine.com| Spring 2013

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