December 26, 2018 by Ithaca Times

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THE READERS’

WRITES ISSUE “My Brilliant Solution” Improptu Rain Protection at Grassroots (Photo: Casey Martin)

Nothing could be easier. VOL.X X XIX / NO. 18 / December 26, 2018 Serving 47,125 readers week ly M a t t B u t l e r, M a n a g i n g E d i t o r , x 224 E d i t o r @ I t h a c a T i me s . c o m F i n g e r L a k e s N o r t h R e p o r t e r , x 223 N o r t h R e p o r t e r @ fl c n . o r g J a i m e C o n e , W e b E d i t o r , x 232 S o u t h R e p o r t e r @ fl c n . o r g E d w i n J . V i e r a , S ta ff R e p o r t e r R e p o r t e r @ I t h a c a T i me s . c o m C a s e y M a r t i n , S ta ff P h o t o g r a p h e r P h o t o g r a p h e r @ I t h a c a T i me s . c o m C h r i s I b e r t , C a le n d a r E d i t o r , x 217 A r t s @ I t h a c a T i me s . c o m A n d r e w S u l l i v a n , S p o r t s E d i t o r , x 227 S p o r t s @ fl c n . o r g Steve L aw r e nce, Spo rts Co lumnist St e v e s p o r t s d u d e @ g m a i l . co m M a r s h a l l H o p k i n s , P r o d u c t i o n D i r e c t o r / D e s i g n e r , x 216 P r o d u c t i o n @ I t h a c a T i me s . c o m

Mat t As s le r It’s a good prompt, thought of by Ithaca

See how easy it is? Now, would any of those

Times Production Designer Marshall Hopkins.

actually work? Hell, I don’t know. But that’s

solution, but I have to write something to

with a solution to a problem, we do it every day.

I’m not sure I even have one actually brilliant introduce this 2019 Reader’s Writes Issue of the

Ithaca Times. So, instead of writing about just one solution in particular, I might as well take this time to blast out some solutions that have

been rolling around in my head for the last few

how easy it is. Literally anyone can come up We try, we fail, we try again. Remember all that

construction on roads over the last month couple months, where downtown wasn’t impassable, but really close to impassable? You had to come

up with some brilliant solutions daily just to get

J a y B e c k l e y, A c c o u n t R e p r e s e n ta t i v e , x 220 G e o r g i a @ I t h a c a T i me s . c o m L i s a B i n g a m a n , A c c o u n t R e p r e s e n ta t i v e , x 218 l i s a @ I t h a c a T i me s . c o m

months or years.

C h r i s I b e r t , Cy n d i B r o n g , x 211 A d m i n i s t r a t i o n Chris Eaton, Distribution

are. I know, I know, this is going to provoke

pending) show up in droves to government

explore that topic right now. It’s been a serious

opinion, a fact that is mentioned frequently

J i m B i l i n s k i , P u b l i s h e r , x 210 j b i l i n s k i @ I t h a c a T i me s . c o m L a r r y H o c h b e r g e r, A s s o c i a t e P u b l i s h e r , x 214 l a r r y @ I t h a c a T i me s . c o m F r e e l a n c e r s : Barbara Adams, Rick Blaisell, Steve Burke, Deirdre Cunningham, Christie Citranglo, Jane Dieckmann, Amber Donofrio, Karen Gadiel, Charley Githler, Warren Greenwood, Isabella Grullon, Vaughn Golden, Ross Haarstad, Rich Heffron, Peggy Haine, Austin Lamb, Steve Lawrence, Amanda Livingston, Marjorie Olds, Cassandra Palmyra, Lori Sonken, Henry Stark, Jason Warshof, Elizabeth Williams and Bryan VanCampen.

All rights reserved. Events are listed free of charge in TimesTable. All copy must be received by Friday at noon. SUBSCRIPTIONS: $69 one year. Include check or money order and mail to the Ithaca Times, PO Box 27, Ithaca, NY 14851. ADVERTISING: Deadlines are Monday 5 p.m. for display, Tuesday at noon for classified. Advertisers should check their ad on publication. The Ithaca Times will not be liable for failure to publish an ad, for typographical error, or errors in publication except to the extent of the cost of the space in which the actual error appeared in the first insertion. The publisher reserves the right to refuse advertising for any reason and to alter advertising copy or graphics deemed unacceptable for publication. The Ithaca Times is published weekly Wednesday mornings. Offices are located at 109 N. Cayuga Street, Ithaca, NY 607-277-7000, FAX 607-277-1012, MAILING ADDRESS is PO Box 27, Ithaca, NY 14851. The Ithaca Times was preceded by the Ithaca New Times (1972-1978) and The Good Times Gazette (1973-1978), combined in 1978. F o u n d e r G o o d T i m e s G a z e t t e : Tom Newton

First, summers should not be as hot as they

talk about climate change, but I don’t want to couple weeks, so I’m just kicking back, relaxing, and telling you: the summer should not be as hot as it is. Second, carpeting should be reserved

for bedrooms only. I spill way too much crap in my apartment to have to worry about having

white vinegar on hand every time I bump into

a coffee-table in my living room. Completely bogus! Third, I’m ready for the next massive evolution in public transportation. I don’t know what it is, I’ll leave that to the brainiacs. My

personal suggestion: big long bicycles, such as

the ones with four or five or six seats and like eight wheels. Maybe they have a designated

driver, maybe not, but they can go all over the area and drop people off as they go.

home.

This year’s submissions - sorry we couldn’t

fit everyone in - are, in my opinion, excellent.

They range from addressing climate change and a student’s difficulty in school to ensuring

one’s cats don’t discover a scratching tower before Christmas by disguising it as a beloved

sentient snowman. I think that range accurately describes our newspaper: we like doing serious stuff, and we like doing silly, absurd things just

as much. Sometimes they happen at the same

Ithacans

and

Tompkinsians

(patent

meetings when asked for their feedback or yet still seems totally anomalous compared to everywhere else that I’ve lived. No small

percentage of those who come to those meetings

have their own solutions, too. I think that’s at the core of what we wanted to accomplish with

“My Brilliant Solution” this year: to take that

damn time, like calling an article about the

merits and risks of raising hourly pay “Night of the Living Wage.”

This issue is meant to be a nice break from

the grind, so we hope you enjoy. As screwed up as the journalism industry is now, I’ve got faith it’ll be okay in the long run. If that turns out to be true, it’ll be because of people like you. In

effect, you are the brilliant solution to that. This

inspiration from public forums and cast it out to

is a tough job, what we do is largely thankless, all

you can decide for yourself as you read on. But

hell. But for whatever reason, we love it most of

whole point of Readers’ Writes is to hear from

wouldn’t exist at all, as many warts as there are.

burn out), but that doesn’t mean it’s limited to

picking us up on Wednesdays or visiting our

my email address, and it’s always open.

it worth your while in 2019. Happy holidays.

a wider audience. Whether or not we succeeded,

underpaid and ultimately time-consuming as all

also remember: this is an evergreen theme. The

the time. And if you all weren’t reading, it likely

you all (and also so that we don’t completely

So, thanks for keeping us employed, thanks for

one issue per year. Editor@ithacatimes.com is

website, and we’re going to keep trying to make

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An Ignorant and Shocked Migrant

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December

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b y C o n ra d Al a n Isto c k

n Nov. 8, 2018, a small U.S. military van bumped slowly along an old, isolated road along the southern tip of Texas next to Mexico. It stopped. Three men got out, and walked to the border. Immediately, one of them, the President of the United States, started rambling comments. “This is where my huge wall will end when it is built along our border with Mexico from California to here,” he said. “It’s the wall Mexico will pay for, despite the Mexican President’s stupid denials. Crossing from Mexico is easy here. Evil migrants from all over the world invade our country this way: bastard migrants so uneducated they can’t even speak English.” The U.S. President walked confidently right to the small stream at the border. Suddenly, a rush of sound came as six men hiding in nearby shrubs broke out, grabbed the President, and carried him away as he screamed foul language. They rushed him through the stream and beyond for several hundred yards to where a large station wagon waited. They all went into it, with three of them physically securing the President in a rear seat. The car roared off to the south. The drive took hours. The President’s frequent, explosive bursts were recorded along the way. (Years later, when many of these recordings were released they created a level of extreme public dislike for that President, recordings unlike any heard from a president before or since.) It was dark when the station wagon reached Mexico City and stopped in one of it’s depressed neighborhoods. The President was searched for any materials that might identify him, and all were removed along with any money. He was still screaming as the men placed him on his back on the pavement. Before he could get up the car roared away. The President got up slowly, and staggered, almost falling, for several steps. Then he looked up and down the street seeing only a few people. Three people came quickly. “Qué es tu problema?” were the first words he heard, followed by other concerns spoken in Spanish. He exploded at them: “What the hell is wrong with you guys? Can’t you speak English?” One woman responded: “Yes, I can speak English, but many people in Mexico only know Spanish, so you will have to use it here.” “I don’t know Spanish, and I never want to. All the world must use English.”

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“Well, pardon me sir, but much more of the world uses Spanish today than English. “Con mucho más gente en nuestro mundo habla español que inglés.” “Oh s*** on all of you,” the President screamed at her, and all three Mexicans turned, and walked swiftly away. His first encounter with the kind and intelligent woman had gone very badly. For a few days the President wandered on that impoverished Community’s streets, with frequent angry encounters. He slept poorly on building steps, as his clothes and skin became dirty and disheveled. Eventually someone called the Police, and they came and arrested him. A local Judge charged him with illegal entry, though they had no way to know his origin. All the while he shouted at the Judge: “I am Donald Trump, President of the United States of America. Get out of my way, all of you are crazy.” It caused people in the courtroom to burst out laughing. He was escorted back to jail. Two days later some police photographs of him appeared on the web, and when Mexican President Enrique Peño Nieto saw them he realized who he was. Even after having him cleaned up, and talking with him, Nieto remained confused, but he arranged for a military plane to fly him back to Washington, D.C. Repeatedly, Nieto had declared to him that Mexico would not pay for the wall, but that didn’t stop Trump from claiming otherwise on every public occasion. Back at the White House, Trump wandered all through it shouting: “I’ll show these stupid Mexicans. I’ll make America even greater.” The next day he saw the large Fourth National Climate Assessment on his desk. After a few minutes flipping through it, he cursed the “stupid scientists,” and tossed it into a waste basket. More of his staff, and appointees, continued to resign. Calls for impeachment increased, and revelations from Special Counsel Robert Mueller, revealing Russia connections, were coming. His passionate association with the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia continued, with no mention of the horrible death and destruction being carried out in neighboring Yemen. It became increasingly clear that his possibly illegal, family-run, administration was failing. And soon might be removed. We can hope! And then, what lies ahead for America and the world?

Vapor

ason turns off the TV when the shooter’s face appears on the screen. The house is quiet and the setting of the autumn sun begins to darken the house. Kit will be home soon. He collects the ingredients from the pantry for a tuna noodle casserole. He opens the cans and boxes, dumping in the ingredients one at a time in layers until the dish is full. He pours himself a small glass of whiskey, with ice. When he puts the dish in the oven, a sharp snap sounds from outside. He nearly drops the dish. There is no sign of what made the noise when he looks out the kitchen window, only the slow wind and the swaying brush breaking the stillness. He sits down and catches his breath, sipping a bit on the whiskey. When he’s ready he sets the table for two. His ears adapt again to the silence of the house. The frequencies of the dead air hum in his ears and he begins to track the particles in the air floating in front of his face. He waits for Kit in a cedar chair on the porch. Kit pulls up 20 minutes later and smiles briefly as she comes up the steps and into the house. She changes in their room while he takes the casserole out of the oven and pours each of them a beer. She comes in wearing a nightshirt and shorts and sits down, leaving the silence between them undisturbed. They eat in small quiet bites and occasionally glance at each other before looking down at their plates. When they finish, Jason cleans the table and Kit watches

Photo by Luther Bottrill

By Li a m Wh a le n television on the couch, smoking a cigarette. Jason joins her and they eat the cake the Wilsons made for them. It was getting stale. They touch hands for a moment and she strokes his fingers, letting him know she is there. After Kit leaves in the morning he paces the house. For an hour he walks around to each room opens the doors and looks inside, pausing for a long time at the empty bedroom. He goes back to the kitchen and makes himself another cup of coffee with a little whiskey. He stands in the living room in front of the gun cabinet. He pulls a handgun off the rack and holds it in his hands before locating the correct magazine in the locked drawer below. He returns to his cup of coffee in the kitchen and loads the bullets into the magazine. When he’s had his fill he goes out to his truck and sits behind the wheel. He looks ahead out the front window, and then starts the engine. He pulls into a school parking lot in the middle section off to one side of the front entrance. He holds the gun in his hand pressing it to his lap, his eyes fixed on the main entrance doors. The cold steel warms in his grip and by late afternoon the metal is sweaty and sticks to his skin. Each day he finds a new parking lot. Waiting in his truck, he watches the interactions of the children and staff: running, talking, staring. The observing comforts him some. The belief

he is being useful brings him back. When the school day ends he returns home and makes dinner before Kit arrives. After months of routine, Jason and Kit decide to separate. They both agree; there is no animosity. They separate their bank accounts and Jason retains his modest savings and pension checks. She keeps the house. After moving out, he creates a system, staying in motels and traveling to different schools each week. He has only been approached twice. Three months after separating from Kit, he finishes his lunch in his truck, waiting in a high school parking lot. Something metallic catches his eye. Instinctively, he raises the gun, pointing it at a kid. The silver object glimmers from the boy’s hooded sweatshirt. Other kids gather around, some walk away and turn back with worried looks. He switches off the safety and aims the gun at the boy’s head. The boy walks toward the front doors. Jason’s finger hovers over the trigger. The image of the shooter from television comes to him, and he releases a pentup breath. A teacher grabs the boy’s arm and wrenches the metal object from him. It is smaller than a gun and has a black mouthpiece. The teacher turns it over in her hand, a rectangular vape. The gathered kids scatter and laugh. He drops the gun to the floor on the passenger’s side, rolls up the window and drives away.

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He finds a hotel in the next town over and pays for two nights. He keeps the gun on the nightstand as he sleeps. He wakes up in the middle of the night and hides the gun in an air vent in the bathroom. The next day, he drives to a park and sits on a bench near the playground. School is out and children are playing.. He sits near the swings and watches a little boy with red hair clutching the metal chains, struggling to pump his legs hard enough to swing higher than he already is. A parent sits next to Jason, silently watching her daughter on the swing next to the boy. “Is that your son?” she asks. “That’s Tanner,” he says without looking at her. “Isabelle just learned how to do it on her own,” she says proudly. “It took Tanner awhile too, but you gotta let them struggle a bit before they get a little confidence.” He looks at her finally and she smiles at him. They are silent for a moment. “It’s been hard doing it alone.” He nods. She smiles at her daughter, knowing all at once great satisfaction and sorrow. “It’s freeing to watch them play like this.” She pauses. “Without worry for the future.” “It’s important for them.”

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Rekindling Tradition

Oh Happy Day

b y E r i c Ma c h a n Ho wd

By D o rothy Lo n s ky

Now Santa rappels

and careful heels.

down the side of a six

The wonder in the candle

story business

flame flickers as I watch

to the consumers

this live holiday

waiting in the cold

stream in the darkness

of this enlightened city.

of my sleepless home

The old elf has helpers

hoping the string

who spot his slow descent

of lights will stop working

into this season of black

so the silent night

Fridays and discounts.

can again become holy

The miracle is held

for those who have lost

back by cable grip

magic’s light.

Oh happy day, I discovered God is not dead but simply In the dogma house!

My Perfect Solution By Cy nth i a Fole y Kindness, love, peace not more War, tolerance, freedom, justice For all, worldwide, right now

The Toy Police Car By R a n dy A . E h re n be rg

n the aftermath of the tragedy that took place at the Tree of Life Synagogue in Pittsburgh, the congregants of other temples around our country remain fearful and floundering as they seek solutions about how to deal with the concern of what if this happens at our shul. At our temple here in Ithaca, there have been many discussions and countless emails about how to handle security issues. As the date of our annual Hanukkah Festival approached, the event planners and the temple board searched for answers. How would we protect ourselves and our many guests from unwanted intruders? How would such individuals be identified? Several of us volunteered to stand by and open the locked doors as those attending the event entered and exited. The question of how many doors to “man” arose and ultimately we decided to use only one point of entrance and exit. As I dressed in my warmest sweater and prepared to take my shift at the opening and closing of the sole entry door on a wet, cold Sunday morning, I wondered what this experience would present. Many of those who figured out why we were there wished us a “Happy Hanukkah” as they exited and thanked us for volunteering for this duty on behalf of all who attended. I was touched by the kindness of those who took a moment to recognize our work.

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The most moving moment for me occurred upon my greeting a young family with a beautiful two year old son who came to the door. I immediately noticed that the child was carrying a little black and white car. When I asked him what he was holding, his parents told me that it was a toy police car and it had just been given to him by the Ithaca policemen who were right outside the temple keeping an eye on things. The parents further recounted how the police had interacted with the boy in a warm and positive way. I am guessing that this event was the high point of the two year-old’s trip to the Hanukkah Festival. Up until that family arrived, I had not realized the manner in which the police were assisting us. I knew that we had contacted them and asked them to be aware of our event, but I think that this very visible presence was their idea. In fact, the kindness and interest in assisting the temple by our local police has been apparent in many ways since the horrific event in Pittsburgh last month. While I know that anything can occur anywhere at any time, I am moved by the warmth exhibited toward the members of our synagogue by our police and extremely thankful for this era of community policing that exists. It is quite special to feel so embraced by those in charge of keeping us all safe and I appreciate the very competent and caring support.

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For Fighting Climate Change By F ra n c i s Va n ek

y brilliant solution for climate change is that there is so much we can do right here in and around Ithaca. Within the boundaries of Tompkins County there are plenty of opportunities; we don’t need to travel all over the world chasing them. You can work on every major aspect of a sustainable solution to climate change right here. The solution has a name: “Testbed Ithaca.” The first part of Testbed Ithaca is the community, also known as “social capital.” You need a group of people willing to roll up their sleeves and try things. We have that in spades in the Ithaca area. People innovate in the areas of the arts, theater, politics, opening restaurants – and launching new technologies and businesses. Sometimes things work and sometimes they don’t, but we always keep learning and moving forward. Next we need opportunities to develop alternative energy. Every type of renewable energy is available within our region: solar, wind, hydro, geothermal, biomass. The only kinds not available are wave and tidal power, only because we are not near the ocean. There are opportunities to wring more energy out of the waste stream as well. We can create biomethane from wastewater and food waste that can then be converted to electricity and heat. The wastewater stream itself represents a source for heat pumps to provide heat in the winter

and cooling in the summer. Municipal solid waste need not be trucked to a landfill in Seneca County. In Copenhagen, Denmark, they have small waste-to-energy plants sited in the midst of residential neighborhoods, and we could try that here. Next comes the built environment, where we work, live, and play. Vibrant city centers that are desirable for living, working and shopping are not only trendy in the U.S. now, but they are

C eCelebrate l eCelebrate b r a t e SSpring u mWith m e r with wUs! i t hUs! Us!

good for the environment because they reduce resource consumption compared to suburban sprawl. When former factories or factory sites can be “recycled” into new purposes (as already happened with the Airplane Factory and is in various stages of progress with ChainWorks and Ithaca Gun), we have the added benefit of putting a brownfield site back into productive use.

Binding all this together is the transportation system. The name of the game is variety: Instead of depending on your personal car for everything, provide a mixture, and folks can choose the most efficient options: transit, walking, bicycling, carsharing, bikesharing, ride-hailing, or something else that gets you from A to B. There will still need to be cars, which is where electrification comes in. By using more and more renewable energy from the grid to power automobiles (and eventually buses), we gradually phase out greenhouse gas emissions from the tailpipe. The last element is the connection to the rest of the world. It may be possible for Tompkins County to be 100% self-reliant for carbon-free energy, but it may not be, for example because of energy-intensive activities, like cutting-edge, world class research. We need not fear this. If our “export commodity” is education and knowledge, why not help some other region that has abundant solar or wind by importing from them? Know-how can be exported in other ways, too. We already have a pattern of people visiting and moving here from all over the U.S. and other countries. They bring their ideas, and at the same time learn from what we are doing here. Eventually, if all the parts of the social capital, energy system, built environment, and transportation work together successfully, Testbed Ithaca will itself become an attraction, good for both the local economy and the planet.

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To Help Non-profits

The Evolution Solution

By Ma ude R ith y solution is simple: All nonprofits would have the money and space that they need to do their work. Too often employees at nonprofits

do not have the resources to do their jobs. This

By Iv a n S m a s o n

non-native speakers. Houses would be repaired

and if not, they would live on through their salvaged cabinets and rescued wood flooring. Families

would

have

has often been the case but since the economy

important in winter.

has worsened. Staffing cuts have caused workers

side by side with us and rebuild themselves. This

tremendous pressure to their effectiveness;

start by working on it.

project when there are six other projects of equal

my brilliant solution all communities have

there’s so much to do.

receiving the funds because there is enough

nonprofits to succeed where would Ithaca be

and job security. And we would be consumers of

to feel safe, courage to express themselves and

to others and they would listen to us.

tanked in 2008 the situation for organizations to try to do the work of three people. This adds

it’s tough to finish, do well or even start a big

People who are sick or displaced will build

With clear vision and the resources for

money for what we truly need—food, housing

then? Every child would be tutored, have places

culture, writing songs, singing them, listening

How do we end disenfranchisement? How do we end bigotry? How do we end cruelty? What do we do when there’s no redress? What do we do about homelessness? I’m a doctor of philosophy and I don’t know I’ve read Schopenhauer and read Rousseau

The arts would flourish over time and people

society with a welcome, a warm place to live

would drink to savor, eat to nourish, share their

share a meal and a laugh. People would have the

or find a neighbor who could make the repair,

information they need to pursue their projects as

How do we end the murder intent?

It doesn’t just have to be Ithaca either. In

people talking to each other, writing grants,

and a job. Older folks would have a place to

Nobody loves me, I have no kiddies

world doesn’t just have to be a dream. We could

urgency. There’s less time to be a visionary when

create. Every former prisoner would re-enter

I have many problems with no remedies

homes—especially

Still I’ve been asked for a brilliant solution

extra, see what someone else needed and help

To which I can only yowl, “Evolution!”

weed the yard, paint the sill, replace the step.

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When Your Daughterin-Law Hates Magic

History is Prose Memory is Poetry

By Kath a r y n Ho wd Ma c h a n

By Mi c h a el Fa be r

Hide your spoons. Mask your gingerbread as cumin cookies, lemon loaf, any scent that will put her off what you offer to the world. She must never know how you saved that baby from the sting of the tiny Mexican scorpion or how you died on that cold beach of the lake that shivered your name. She’s married now, to that warm son you kept alive on your round breast. Stay somber, quiet, staunch with grace. When she turns her gaze away you know you’ll go dancing high to tango with the moon’s sharp curve: your breath rising full and hard as the broom your clear prayers ride.

Where to Stay By Kath a r y n Ho wd Ma c h a n In a cherry blossom. You’ll have to get small, of course, and watch out for renegade fairies with their teeth, their curved green blades. They pretend not to like human flesh but they’ll swallow truth just the same. On a goat skull. Pick one that used to have black hair tough as teeth and soft as midnight someone gathered to stuff a scarlet pillow embroidered with a three-horned dragon safely fleeing a saint’s tainted curse. By a fish. Plan to count its mottled rainbows as you both swim past white stones. It may fear you are a hook or full of tales as a cow’s lost tooth— but you aren’t. Trust your breath. Near winter— before or after, gold of leaves or maple syrup. Ice doesn’t suit your eyes or the wide gleam of your teeth. Either place: swallow light.

History is prose Memory is poetry. Their meeting is an unbroken transmission expressing the pure, benevolent selflessness lying at the root of all that is good and worth preserving as long as human time shall last on this earth. History is story Memory is song. Their meeting is a universal celebration the dance of countless generations bequeathing their folly and their wisdom to any who can read the signs and trace their glorious echoes to a beginning that began before time. When History is merely discursive, rational, organized and Memory the faulty embellishment of a fiction that was always a lie, their meeting is a loss of intrinsic awareness which gives birth to ideology - which begets certainty - which begets rigidity which begets stagnation - which begets the muddling of clarity - which begets bewilderment which begets the habit of making poor choices - which begets misery and a diminished life. When History is fabricated and Memory manufactured their meeting brings doom to those infected by the unreality of poisoned motives and great harm multiplies, brother against brother, nation against nation, man himself against the natural order of things despoiling the vessel that once safely carried him beyond time and across the stars. History records Memory reimagines. Their meeting draws a picture of the world and imprints the patterns of collective narrative on moldable minds in need of reinforced certainty by framing what was and is through an imperfect lens subject to error. History accumulates Memory disperses. Their meeting creates an inexhaustible storehouse of reasonable rationales for unreasonable and erroneous misperceptions of everyday reality that proliferate misery and suffering and excuse inexcusable behavior as the human norm. History remembers Memory resurrects. Their meeting is the co-emergent moment when even birth and death are undivided and a life astray awakens from dream to the true nature of its glory and begins to weave the light of new possibilities into the very fabric of what is true and real. History instructs Memory inspires. Their meeting is the will-less activity of benevolence Illuminating the way across roiling oceans of bewilderment to find comfort and ease on the other shore, empty of self. Calm and clear, inexhaustibly radiating kindness and patience, the fruit of this union nourishes all who walk the path to the sublime. Study History with the inquiring curiosity of a true skeptic. Operate Memory wary of the stories you tell yourself and with at least some knowledge of the underlying narrative that is the construct of your everyday identity. Merging what you learn with what you remember won’t tell you a thing about who you really & truly are but it may create a receptive openness to natural self-abandonment that enables the way to unfold before you. De c e mb e r

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I need my local bank to be wherever, whenever.

Tompkins Trust has the mobile services that make life easy. And because we’re local, we’re there for our community when we’re needed most.

Visit TompkinsTrust.com, or stop into a branch to learn more.

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Is the Internet God? By Mic h a el Ja c obs

must confess that I haven’t thought much about the nature or existence of God since I took a Philosophy of Religion course as an undergrad in the ‘70s. I was neither a Philosophy nor Religious Studies major; I enrolled in the class to give my nascent atheism one last test. My skepticism only grew stronger after reading the best arguments of such theological giants as Thomas Aquinas, William Rowe and David Hume, and I emerged from the course as a confirmed (pardon the pun) non-believer. But last winter I found myself hopelessly lost while driving in a snowstorm from Ithaca to Skaneateles. Rather than divine intervention, I was saved by the GPS app on my smartphone. My response was a silent, “Thank God!” Like Proust’s madeleine moment, I was suddenly drawn back to that college lecture hall so many years ago, and I spent the rest of my drive pondering the question, “Is the internet godlike?” I don’t mean in a Lennon-esque, “more popular than Jesus” way. I am asking the serious question of whether the internet matches our best descriptions of what we mean by God, and what we want our god(s) to be. In the 13th century, the Italian theologian Thomas Aquinas put forth five logical arguments regarding the existence of God—the Quinque viæ (Latin for five ways) in his seminal book Summa Theologica. Seven hundred years later, the philosopher Richard Swinburne argued that, while no single one of Aquinas’s “proofs” is compelling by itself, taken together they constitute a strong case for the existence of God. I would like to propose an analogous fivepart argument for the proposition that the internet is God, or at least a demigod. 1. The Internet may not be omniscient, but it is the closest thing to omniscience we’ve ever

seen in the history of mankind. Just try to stump Siri with a question. Like God, the internet knows just about everything about us, even (through our search histories) our innermost fears and desires, more than we confess to even our closest relations. 2. It may not be exactly omnipotent, but the internet has incredible powers never seen before in the history of mankind -- including the ability to alter the outcome of democratic elections, the ability to make celebrities out of ordinary people, the ability to turn paupers into billionaires, etc. The Internet may not perform miracles in a strict sense of the word, but it is able to take a piece of information and instantly share it with millions of people around the world, a feat arguably as impressive as a bush that is on fire but is not consumed, or keeping a flame lit for eight days on one-day’s supply of oil. 3. While not precisely omnipresent in our world, the internet is nearly so. And any place to which its pervasiveness doesn’t extend is probably uninhabited, or inhabited by people who choose to live “off the grid.” Like most

modern conceptions of God, the internet is both everywhere and nowhere (decentralized). 4. Does it respond to prayer? Well, first of all—and I realize this will draw the ire of many devout theists—it is questionable as to whether any of our conventional gods actually respond to prayer. That aside, the phenomenon of crowdfunding, through which believers regularly have their prayers answered, certainly has a better track record of success than lighting candles or stuffing notes into cracks in an ancient stone wall. 5. Finally, there is no reason to believe that the Internet won’t exist in one form or another as long as human civilization exists—surely one concept of eternal existence. Theologian Charles Henderson has written that when people lived simple lives in agricultural valleys, their God spoke to them from the mountaintops. When they were ruled by Kings, they thought of their God as the King of Kings. Likewise, he posits, in the Information Age “God may in fact be that Web greater than which none other can even be conceived.”

Full disclosure: Henderson also warns that the flip side of this view is that the internet may be becoming a “cheap substitute for an authentic, spiritual life.” Of course, one key difference between the internet and the traditional concept of God is that the conventional view is that God created the world and humanity, not the other way around. There is a relatively new religious movement, however, called Syntheism, that maintains that God exists as a creation of mankind. Syntheism is an attempt to reconcile atheism with theism. (Its temple is a web site.) I’m still left with one nagging conundrum: The Judeo-Christian God is conscious—aware that he/she is God—and the internet is not. But Ray Kurzweil and other futurists believe that, thanks to advances in artificial intelligence, in just a matter of years computers (and therefore the internet) will begin a runaway series of self-improvement cycles, until a point of “singularity” is reached at which the connected servers and processors that constitute the internet surpass humans in intelligence and achieve self-awareness (consciousness). The downside of this is that it is likely that with consciousness and self-awareness comes the potential for emotions like anger and wrath. The anthropomorphized God of the bible demonstrated these emotions repeatedly, from killing 3,000 Hebrews for worshipping a false idol to wiping out 99% of all living creatures on earth with a global flood as punishment for human corruption and violence. Just imagine what sort of retribution a super-intelligent internet might conceive! It is a testament to the value of a liberal arts education that a class I took 40 years ago is continuing to provide a foundation for my critical thinking today, though perhaps it’s time for a refresher course.

Pipe Dad

By R obe r t R iege r obody smoked a pipe as

passionately as Kyle’s father. Many times every day, his dad would load the pipe with a generous amount of tobacco, light it with his old metal butane lighter, and inhale a drag deep into his lungs. His exhale would literally fill the room with smoke. It was the 1960’s and 70’s—folks didn’t think much about the hazards of second-hand smoke or the nasty smell from pipes, cigars and cigarettes. At home, in public, or in the workplace, smokers just lit up wherever.

Many pipe smokers were enjoying exotic scented tobaccos. Not Kyle’s dad. He preferred cheap, store-brands, like an alcoholic who buys no-name scotch or gin by the gallon. Once, Kyle and his sisters pooled their money and, for Christmas, bought Dad bags of peachand pecan-flavored tobacco from the specialty store that opened in the new mall. Dad acted pleased, but the fancy tobacco just sat there for months, maybe even a year or more. Eventually it just disappeared. The message was clear: Dad is a hard-core, addicted smoker. He’s not an occasional pleasure smoker like the customers who buy from the mall shop. He had a collection of five or more simple pipes—utilitarian, not fancy. They sat in large ash-trays atop the liquor cabinet. Friends and family didn’t question Dad’s decision to smoke, or if they did, they kept it to themselves. Smoking a pipe was just something about him, sort of like having brown hair or enjoying square dancing.

Though Kyle and the other kids didn’t think that much about it, Dad’s health seemed good enough, even with the morning cough or the regular shortness of breath. He wasn’t as athletic or energetic as other fathers, but he didn’t have known health issues either. One day, when Kyle was 15, he overheard Dad telling Mom that the family doctor had suggested he give up smoking. “It’s going to send you to an early grave,” the doctor had warned him. Never one to get overly excited about anything, Dad simply shrugged off the advice and continued smoking without pause. But the doctor’s advice had made a huge impression on Kyle. It previously hadn’t occurred to him that it was possible for Dad to quit smoking. Frankly, it hadn’t occurred to him that smoking is something you want to stop doing. It’s sort of like a hobby or part of your personality, so why give it up? Suddenly, Kyle started noticing the artifacts of a smoker— pipes, ashtrays, smells, smoke. Before, he had

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never noticed smoker’s breath, but now Kyle couldn’t be around Dad without being bothered by it. He questioned his father regularly about his habit. Kyle had turned from agnostic kid, to fervent anti-smoking crusader. He wanted to solve this problem. He tried all sorts of ways to get Dad to quit. He hid tobacco and his trusty lighter. He secretly sent the doctor notes asking him to continue the warnings. He organized with his siblings a clever “Stop that Coffin” protest with signs and marches. As Kyle was learning to drive, he even considered putting all Dad’s pipes behind the tires and backing over them again and again. As clever as his campaign was, Kyle never could get his Dad to give up the pipe he obviously adored. Eventually Kyle stopped his crusade. The doctor was correct. Dad’s life was cut short. And now, years later, when he sees photographs of his father, or even pictures in his mind, the pipe is always in the image.

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The Best Path Forward

By Mi c h a el P. Ma n c u s o

y brilliant solution is to note the realities of human problem solving in our modern world and the ideas I (and many others) have that could substantially improve our species’ track record for solving (previously) intractable social problems. My life and experiences have taught me many things, and has also put me firmly in the rational-empiricist camp of problem solvers. It should be readily apparent that brilliant solutions are a dime a dozen in the realms of high technology, and empirical science. If this were not so, then we wouldn’t be overwhelmed by the profusion of hi-tech gadgets (i.e. smart phones, and computerized everything) as well as the sophisticated new technologies in every field of human endeavor, along with the scientific advances in knowledge of our universe (from the farthest reaches down to the smallest particles) which abundantly demonstrates our technological-scientific prowess, and ingenuity. Our almost limitless ingenuity also allows us to inhabit the most inhospitable habitats this (and other) worlds have to offer. We are a very adaptable species. We are also awesomely creative: just ponder our amazing evolution in music and the other arts (both performing and written) to appreciate this reality. You only need to have working senses (and a sound mind) to realize that we’re about the cleverest and most creative species around these parts. There may be few other planets overrun with creatures as

clever, and endlessly creative as us. [Or I may be totally wrong on that score with there being many other planets with beings (more advanced than us) that have not contacted us because of the time and distances involved— or disinclined because of our warlike nature. Or maybe they have been here, and hid the evidence of their visit; or they’re here now, but don’t want us to realize it. One can only conjecture about the possibility of E.T. life out there!] The point is: wouldn’t you expect that a species so technologically (and scientifically) advanced (as us) would find things like: malnutrition, inequality, and mass shootings relative “Childs play” to solve. Curiously these societal problems only seem to continually get worse, and intensify as time goes by. What gives? Does it make any sense that creatures as ingeniously creative as us can figure out the secrets of our universe, but are clueless to solve their own personal and societal shortcomings? This is the biggest mystery about humankind!

No, the difficult things to solve are things like incurable diseases; cold fusion; time travel; and reversing the earth’s rotation—not in providing every person on this planet the basic necessities of life, and the ability to conduct their lives in peace, freedom and safety. Something in this equation just doesn’t add up. Why are we such underachievers in the social-moral realm? I think the essential problem lies in the baser aspects of human nature: the inclinations towards prejudices, tribalism (thinking you and your group are superior, and more entitled than all others), selfishness, overweening pride and cruelty. Also applicable is the human need (that some individuals possess to an astonishing degree) of a person to lord it over all others. These dynamics are what enable us to be so technologically advanced, while simultaneously being so morally, and socially retarded! That and our insatiable need to subscribe to empirically unsupportable, destructive and delusional “dogmatic ideologies” (I’m not referring here

to things like the Boy Scouts, or Hippocratic Oath, Pledge of Allegiance, and the like. I am not against things inspire the better angels of our nature. What I am against are empirically unsupportable ideologies that are narrow minded, hate filled, that lead us to marginalize, hate, and harm others with different perspectives from our own! Things like certain religious, political, and cultural dogmas that elevate one particular tribe, at the expense (and often peril) of others! I don’t have the space here to name them, but their fruits give them away!) The truth is no one side (in our vociferous political debates) is always in the right, nor has all the answers. A civil, consensual approach that acknowledges true wisdom (whoever it comes from), and seeks to use the rational-empirical mode of conflict resolution, and problem solving is the ideal we should be aiming for. Ideally we should approach societal problems the way we do technological ones, and employ the scientific method of: observation (and analyzing the true causes of a problem); then hypothesize likely solutions; then experiment (testing the solutions for their efficacy-probably on a small scale at first); and then continually retest and refine working solutions to achieve the maximum of optimal results. If we were to take this approach we would find that most of our most intractable social problems weren’t so intractable after all. We would also wonder why we hadn’t employed this approach millennia before!

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A School Challenge

By B a rb a ra D. Kat z-B ro w n

he sat at the table with her head down. Her dark greasy hair covered the sides of her face as she slowly picked at the remains of purple nail polish on her nails. She was in my office again and I was the assistant principal of the middle school. This young lady had been asked to leave classrooms many times over three years for a variety of infractions. Mary (not her real name) had a reputation for being disrespectful, insubordinate and rude to adults in the school.

Me: “What do you mean dumb?” Mary: “The teachers give me baby work.” Me: “Tell me the name of a book you are reading at home.” Mary: “The Bell Jar.” Me: “Really? That is an adult book. Do you understand it ?” Mary: “My mother had it. I like to read her books.” Me: “I am thinking of trying you in some harder classes. Interested?” Mary: “When?” Me: “Would you be willing to try some different classes tomorrow to see if you like them?

There had been endless meetings about her aberrant behavior with her mother, her social worker, her teachers, myself and the school principal. Behavior plans did not change her constant screaming at teachers and telling them where they could go. The school professionals had tried everything in their bag of tricks, but nothing altered her nasty verbalizations, especially in academic classes. This girl had no extramural interests in school and did not participate in sports, music, drama or clubs available to her either during school or after school. She had no real friends at school. Students admitted that they were afraid of her. Our school needed a solution to engage this young lady and instill in her a desire to learn. Mary was missing instruction in her classes needed to acquire the foundational skills to be successful within a regular high school curriculum. She had been placed in a small class for the majority of the day and she participated in regular classes when her behavior was appropriate. The problem was her behavior was becoming less suitable each day. She was spending more time in my office. One day, I decided to interview her as if she was a new entrant to our school. I recorded the interview for her mother and our principal to hear so we could continue our search to quell her outbursts. Me: “What do you for fun?” Mary: “Nothing.” Then, after a minute she said…”I like to read.” Me: “What do you like to read?” Mary: “Stories about old times and girls with problems.” Me: “What classes in school do you like?” Mary: “All my classes here are dumb.”

Pretend you are a new student just starting school here.” Mary: “What are they reading in English?” Me: “I don’t know but you might like the books this year.” Mary: “They might think I am stupid.” Me: “You mean the teachers or the students? They don’t know you so depending on how you act, it could be great fun. Let’s give it a try.” With help from the guidance counselor and permission of her mother, we selected the most challenging classes in English, Science, Social Studies and Math. When Mary came into school the next day, she came to my office and I presented her with a new schedule. I walked her to her first class that day and asked her to be patient and give the new classes a try for a month to become accustomed to the teacher’s style and the material. I told her I would check on her midday and at the end of each day. The first day with her new schedule she remained in her classes. In the middle of the day she said she was doing fine. At the end of the day she had a bunch of new books and a smile. At the end of the week, she had not been sent to my office once. Her comment to me after two weeks was that she was finally in the “smart classes.” Mary’s mother came to school and cried. She said finally someone recognized that her daughter was intelligent. Putting Mary into classes where the teacher challenged her intelligence and the students themselves modeled good behavior was a “brilliant solution.” Mary thrived that year and was no longer a discipline nightmare. The lesson for the adults was, “Adjust the environment and sometimes there is a change in human behavior.” So simple. De c e mb e r

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Real Action on Affordable Housing HOW TOMPKINS COUNTY PUBLIC OFFICIALS COULD THEMSELVES, WITH THE COUNTY AS A LAND-OWNER, TAKE ACTION ON AFFORDABLE HOUSING, NOT JUST ENCOURAGE AND DIRECT OTHER LAND-OWNERS TO DO SO: By D a n iel Keo ugh 1. Tear down the squatty Office for the Aging building 214 W MLK St. 2. Build the zoning-allowable six stories at 214 W. MLK St., within the City of Ithaca’s Density District, where the developer can take advantage of a tax abatement. The first couple floors could be a temporary TCPL space with at least two stories of housing, such as fifth & sixth floors, with the balance as office or temporary TCPL space as needed. 3. Tear down 101 E. Green St., the big-box style suburban building in the middle of our city’s downtown.

This site is zoned for 100 feet, yet is wastefully using only a single, sprawling story. This property is also located in the city’s Density District.

5. Move TCPL back into 101 E. Green St. 6. Reclaim the temporary TCPL spaces at 214 W MLK St as county offices and/or additional housing.

4. Build a new library and perhaps small commercial space on first floor, lecture hall, and more conference rooms, plus TC office space on the second floor. Design the third, fourth and fifth floors as TC office space as needed. The fifth or sixth thru ninth floors could be all mixed income affordable and market-rate housing.

The property at 101 E. Green St. has a close to perfect “WalkScore” of 96 out of 100 because of its very walkable location near amenities, places people want to go, such as shops, cafés, restaurants, pharmacy, etc. Zero people currently live at 101 E. Green St., despite the very optimal location in the middle of our downtown, next to our Commons, at a bus terminal. Several hundred people could live on this site, taking advantage of this very walkable, bikeable, bus-accessible area every day.

People need housing. Tompkins County did spend money on building and remodeling the library, indeed. There is a good balance of taking that investment and understanding that every year that housing isn’t built, the space is just wasted, i.e. people seek affordable housing farther away from downtown, farther away from transit than they would like, paying more than is affordable. Sometime in the near future, I would like to see our county downtown Ithaca property at both 101 E. Green St. and 214 W. MLK St. better utilized. County officials have meetings and talk about affordable housing and how it is desperately needed, especially in the city of Ithaca, here is a solid option for the County to take real action themselves, with the county as a property owner in making that happen.

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Driftwood | 9:00 PM, | The Haunt, Ithaca | $15-$30 (2-day ticket)

Music

Canaan Jam Session | 7:00 PM, | Canaan Institute, Brooktondale Ray McNamara’s WednesRay Monk’s Raysidency | 7:00 PM, | Monk’s on the Commons, Ithaca The Crucials Wednesday Night Residency | 9:30 PM, | The Range, Ithaca | $5

Too Many Zooz | 8:00 PM, | The Haunt, Ithaca | $17-$20

12/28 Friday The Inner Crazy | 6:00 PM, | Americana Vineyards, Interlaken

BOOK CLUB FRIDAY Friday, December 28 at 12:15PM | Van Etten Library, 83 Main St., Van Etten | This month’s book is Kristin Hannah’s The Great Alone, a story set in Alaska, 1974. For a family in crisis, it is the ultimate test of survival. (photo: provided)

Bad Juju | 8:00 PM, | Moondog’s Lounge, Auburn

Bead N’ Bone feat. Kevin Kinsella | 9:00 PM, | The Haunt, Ithaca | $7

Dead Night with The Proud Walkers | 9:00 PM, | The Haunt, Ithaca | $5

Harry Nichols | 9:00 PM, | Agava, Ithaca

Radio London | 6:00 PM, | Americana Vineyards, Interlaken The Primates (Pre-New Year’s Celebration) | 8:00 PM, | Moondog’s Lounge, Auburn

1/1 Tuesday

Cornell Cinema

Open Mic Night | 9:00 PM, | Lot 10 Lounge, Ithaca

There will be no films shown this week.

Opera Ithaca: A Little Night Music | 8:00 PM, 12/30 Sunday | Smith Opera House, 82 Seneca St, Geneva | Join us for Opera Ithaca’s second annual New Year’s Eve Weekend celebration performance at the Smith Opera House, this year Stephen Sondheim’s Tony Award-winning Broadway musical. | $27.50

12/27 Thursday

12/29 Saturday

Film

Winter Concert - Renaissance music for viola da gamba | 7:00 PM, 12/29 Saturday | St. Mary’s Parish Center Chapel, 59 N. Main St., Cortland | Please Join Us for a Winter Concert with Alex Korolov, Tom Klenck, Kate Cushing, Alexander Rakov - FRIgGwERK. A Relaxing Evening of Renaissance Music for Viola da Gamba. Reception to follow. | free-will offerings

12/26 Wednesday

Drew Kiddo & the Blackouts | 7:00 PM, | The Westy, Ithaca

The Comb Down, House of Merlot, DJ haMEEN & special guests | 9:30 PM, | Lot 10 Lounge, Ithaca | $20

Concerts/Recitals

Bars/Bands/Clubs

The Notorious String Busters | 6:00 PM, | Hopshire Farm & Brewery, Freeville

Ithaca Bottom Boys NYE 2019 | 9:00 PM, | The Range, Ithaca

This holiday season channel your inner elf and join Buddy on his journey from the North Pole to New York City to find his family. Through 1/6/19

12/30 Sunday

Ithaca Jazz and Blues Jam | 4:00 PM, | Mix Kitchen and Bar, Ithaca John Spillett Jazz/Pop Duo | 5:00 PM, | Blue Water Grill, Skaneateles MSZM (Mike Stark & Zaun Marsh-

Tenzin Chopak | 1:00 PM, | Red Newt Bistro, Hector

burn) | 7:00 PM, | The Westy, Ithaca

IthaCats Rockabilly | 4:00 PM, | Americana Vineyards, Interlaken

Driftwood | 9:00 PM, | The Haunt, Ithaca | $15-$30 (2-day ticket)

12/31 Monday Argos New Years Eve Gala w/Stark Nights All Stars w/Venissa Santi & Jennie Stearns | 8:00 PM, | Argos Inn & Argos Warehouse, Ithaca | $30 advance, $35 door Agava’s NYE Party featuring Thru Spectrums! | 9:00 PM, | Agava, Ithaca | $20 at the Door $15 Advanced Sale: Purchase before 31st at Agava or Online

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Cinemapolis Week of Friday, December 28, 2018 through Thursday, January 3, 2019. Contact Cinemapolis for showtimes. The Favourite| In early 18th century England, a frail Queen Anne occupies the throne and her close friend Lady Sarah governs the country in her stead. When a new servant, Abigail, arrives, her charm endears her to Sarah. |119 mins R Mary Queen of Scots| Mary Stuart’s attempt to overthrow her cousin Elizabeth I, Queen of England, finds her condemned to years of imprisonment before facing execution. |124 mins R A Star is Born | A musician helps a young singer find fame, even as age and alcoholism send his own career into a downward spiral. |135 mins R At Eternity’s Gate | A look at the life of painter Vincent van Gogh during the time he lived in Arles and Auverssur-Oise, France. |110 mins PG-13 Can You Ever Forgive Me? | When Lee Israel falls out of step with current tastes, she turns her art form to deception. Based on Israel’s memoir. |106 mins R Regal Ithaca Wednesday, 12/26 through Tuesday, 1/1. Contact Regal Ithaca for showtimes. New films listed first. * Holmes and Watson* | A humorous take on Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s classic mysteries featuring Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson.| 89 mins PG-13

I t h a c a T i m e s 15

Interested — in more — interest?

APY*

IntroDuCIng our 3 YeAr tomPkIns BumP-uP CD stArtIng At

with a consumer checking account **

Thinking about putting money into a CD—but wondering if rates might go up? With the Tompkins Bump-Up CD, you can keep your options open. If rates go up, you can opt for a higher interest rate once during your 3 year term. You can deposit more money once during your term, too.

To open your Tompkins Bump-Up CD, stop into your local branch today. *Annual Percentage Yield (APY) is accurate as of 8/27/18. **A Tompkins Consumer Checking account is required to receive the advertised rate. Rate will be reduced by 0.50% if no checking relationship is established within 60 days of account opening. This offer is valid for consumers only. Offer may be withdrawn without notice. There is a $1000 minimum balance to open a certificate and to obtain APY. There is a maximum initial deposit amount of $250,000. A penalty will be imposed for early withdrawal. Fees could reduce earnings. True Advantage relationship bonus does not apply to this account. The interest rate and APY may be changed once during the initial term of the CD. Upon receipt of a written bump-up request from you, we will adjust the interest rate and APY to the current interest rate and APY we pay on the 3 Year Certificate of Deposit. The rate increase will be paid for the remainder of the term and will not extend the maturity date. One additional deposit may be made during the initial term. The one time deposit cannot be greater than $100,000. Upon maturity, the CD will automatically renew to the terms and conditions of our 3 Year CD.

Vice* | The story of Dick Cheney, an unassuming bureaucratic Washington insider, who quietly wielded immense power as Vice President to George W. Bush, reshaping the country and the globe in ways that we still feel today. | 132 mins R Mary Poppins Returns | Decades after her original visit, the magical nanny returns to help the Banks siblings and Michael’s children through a difficult time in their lives. |130 mins PG Aquaman | Arthur Curry learns that he is the heir to the underwater kingdom of Atlantis, and must step forward to lead his people and be a hero to the world. |143 mins PG-13 Bumblebee | On the run in the year of 1987, Bumblebee finds refuge in a junkyard in a small Californian beach town. Charlie, on the cusp of turning 18 and trying to find her place in the world, discovers Bumblebee, battlescarred and broken. |113 mins PG-13 Second Act | A big box store worker reinvents her life and her life-story and shows Madison Avenue what street smarts can do. |103 mins PG-13

The Mule | A 90-year-old horticulturist and Korean War veteran is caught transporting $3 million worth of cocaine through Michigan for a Mexican drug cartel. |116 mins R Mortal Engines | In a post-apocalyptic world where cities ride on wheels and consume each other to survive, two people meet in London and try to stop a conspiracy. |128 mins PG-13 Spiderman: Into the Spider-Verse | Miles Morales becomes the SpiderMan of his reality and crosses paths with his counterparts from other dimensions to stop a threat to all reality. | 117 mins PG Green Book | A working-class Italian-American bouncer becomes the driver of an African-American classical pianist on a tour of venues through the 1960s American South. | 130 mins PG-13 The Grinch | | 90 mins PG

ThisWeek

Welcome to Marwen | A victim of a brutal attack finds a unique and

beautiful therapeutic outlet to help him through his recovery process. |116 mins PG-13

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Art Highlights from the Permanent Collection | Daily | Everson Museum Of Art Of Syracuse And Onodaga, 401 Harrison St, Syracuse | Showcasing the depth of the Eversonís collection with 150 years of American art, from early nineteenth century portraiture to the Pop Art of the 1960s. This exhibition features many visitor favorites, including work by Albert Bierstadt, Eastman Johnson, Lee Krasner, Grandma Moses, Jackson Pollock, and Gilbert Stuart. Luminous Lakes painting by Brian S. Keeler | Ongoing | 171 Cedar Arts Ctr, 171 Cedar St, Corning | A selection of Keuka and Seneca Lake paintings. Annual Print Sale and 20th Int’l Mini-Print Exhibit | Ongoing | Ink Shop Printmaking Center, 330 E.State / MLK Street (2nd floor CSMA bldg), Ithaca | Our collection of prints is extensive and represents some of the best printmakers around. These make great gifts. We are always encouraging people to support the Arts by buying more Art! Urban Arts Crawl | 5:00 PM, 12/28 Friday | Downtown Corning, Corning |

Photo Exhibit - Carl Schofield & Mark Sussman | Ongoing | Leidenfrost Vineyards, 5677 State Route 414, Hector | Exhibit on display through Dec. (Re) Generation: Women Artists After 60 | Daily | Everson Museum Of Art, 401 Harrison St, Syracuse | Explores the creative and transformative power of age for women artists working and thriving in the contemporary art world.

Special Events Sixth Annual Festival of Trees | 10:00 AM, 12/29 Saturday | Ward W. O’Hara Agricultural and Country Living Museum, 6880 East Lake Road, Auburn | An Annual Holiday Tradition. Vote for your Favorite Tree. Over 100 trees on Display/ Miniature Circus/ Toy Trains/ Doll Houses/ Miniature Buildings. Kids Play Area with Farm Toys/ Puzzles/ Wood Trains. Labyrinth Meditation | 7:00 PM, 12/29 Saturday thru 12/31 Monday; 2:00PM, 1/1 Tuesday | First Baptist Church, 309 N Cayuga St, Ithaca | Walk

BEAD N’ BONE FT. KEVIN KINSELLA

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 29, 9:00PM

The Haunt, 702 Willow Ave, Ithaca | Bead N’ Bone is an American Reggae-Soul band formed in 2017. The Band’s line up consists of Kevin Kinsella, London McDaniel, Max Childs, Cooper Casterline and Chris Cappelli. BnB’s vision is to share the groove of life & the power of consciousness. Sounds like a great way to get ready for 2019! (photo: provided)

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a “Path of Prayer” into the New Year. This circular indoor labyrinth is modeled after the one set into the floor of the Chartres Cathedral in France (1194-1220). It will be open to people of ages and faiths and is handicap accessible. Americana’s 2nd Annual New Year’s Eve Party | 4:00 PM, 12/31 Monday | Americana Vineyards, 4367 E Covert Rd, Interlaken | Dine & dance. Mix & mingle. Family-friendly event. Featuring DJ Elephant Sound. 4th Annual Dancin’ Thru The Decades New Years Eve Dance! | 8:00 PM, 12/31 Monday | Cortland Repertory Theatre, 24 Port Watson St., Cortland | Dance in the New Year and have a front row seat to the downtown “First Lightî”celebration! The whole evening is the ULTIMATE DANCE MIX of the greatest tunes from the 60’s to today! | $10/$15 Opera Ithaca Presents: A Little Night Music New Year’s Eve Gala | 8:00 PM, 12/31 Monday | Hangar Theatre, 801 Taughannock Blvd, Ithaca | Music and Lyrics by Stephen Sondheim. Book by Hugh Wheeler. Premiere: 1973 NYC. Midnight toast and singing of Auld Lang Syne with the cast following the show. | $75 Cayuga Bird Club’s 57th Annual Christmas Count | All Day 1/1 Tuesday | Volunteers can choose from nine areas, each with their own “hotspots” and birders are to count the number of individual birds seen as well as the number of species.† Less experienced birders can team up with better birders, so needn’t be shy about joining the other dedicated people who make this a holiday tradition. You can start at midnight and listen for owls, get up at dawn, or only take a few leisurely hours in the middle of the day. If you’ve never participated and want to join in this important event, here’s your chance. Volunteers are needed !

Books Buffalo St. Books Presents Trampoline Thursdays | 7:00 PM, 12/27 Thursday | Lot 10 Lounge, 106 S Cayuga St, Ithaca | A night of competitive storytelling where the public is invited to share their tall

tales. Contestants will be given three minutes to share their stories. Book Club Friday | 12:15 PM, 12/28 Friday | Van Etten Library, 83 Main Street, Van Etten | Kristin Hannah’s The Great Alone Drag Queen Story Hour | 12:00 PM, 12/30 Sunday | Buffalo Street Books, 215 N Cayuga St, Ithaca | Our special guests will be joining us from the House of Merlot!

Kids Cuddle-up Infant & Toddler Library Time | 10:00 AM, 12/26 Wednesday | Southworth Library, 24 W. Main Street, Dryden | Lego Day | 12:00 PM, 12/26 Wednesday | Ovid Firehouse, Community Meeting Room, 2136 Brown Street, Ovid | Part of Edith B. Ford Memorial Library’s Winter Break Youth Activities† - drop in programs for kids 7+. Great for children and families to build with the library’s large collection. Holiday Break Activities at Museum of the Earth | 1:00 PM, 12/26 Wednesday | Museum Of The Earth, 1259 Trumansburg Rd, Ithaca | Explore the over 130 skulls on display one last time in our current special exhibit “Secrets of the Skull: From Titanoboa to Tuatara” and join us for special activities each day. From 1 - 3 pm there are activities for school-age kids and adults.Wednesday, December 26 :Skull Puppets; Thursday, December 27: 3D-printed Skull Jewelry; Friday, December 28: Secrets of the Skull tour (11:30 am) and Plaster Skull Plaques; Saturday, December 29: Secrets of the Skull tour (11:30 am) and Skull Agamographs | Included w/ Admission Sciencenter Science Together | 3:00 PM Wednesdays and Fridays & 10:30AM Tuesdays and Thursdays | Sciencenter, 601 1st St., Ithaca | Engage with your toddlers and preschoolers through self-guided, hands-on activities like playing with flubber, using tools to sift through sand, magnet fishing, and more! | General admission fees apply American Girl Book Club | 3:30 PM, 12/26 Wednesday | Southworth

ARGOS NEW YEAR’S EVE GALA

MONDAY, DECEMBER 31 AT 8:00 PM

Argos Inn & Argos Warehouse, 408 E. State St., Ithaca| The Argos Inn’s Bar Argos and The New Argos Warehouse, which opened to the public in November, will both be hosting this lavish celebration! Dance in the new year with Stark Nights All Stars followed by DJ Cappel & Tuggle. Enjoy Argos’s award-winning cocktails and gourmet hors d’oeuvres as well as an outdoor bonfire between the Argos Inn & Warehouse (photo: provided)

tists, educators, and students. Topics range from chemistry to rockets and more. | General admission fees apply

Notices SSA Work Incentives Webinar | 3:00 PM, 12/26 Wednesday | Tompkins County Workforce Center, Center Ithaca, Suite 241, | For people who are age 18 through 64 and receive Social Security Disability benefits, Work Incentives Seminar Event (WISE) webinars can help you and your family members learn about the Ticket to Work Program and available Work Incentives through accessible learning opportunities. Open Hearts Dinner | 5:00 PM, 12/26 Wednesday | McKendree UMC, 224 Owego St., Candor | Come and join in the fun. Whether you are looking for fellowship or a free meal this one’s for you. Contact: Denice Peckins denicepeckins@hotmail.com Wednesday Night Ithaca Women’s Basketball Association | 7:00 PM, 12/26 Wednesday | Lehman Alternative Community School, 111 Chestnut St, Ithaca | The league is non-competitive and fun and involves pick-up style playing. Check out the league’s website for more information. American Red Cross Blood Drives | 12/27 Ithaca Veterans Firemans Assoc. (638 Elmira Rd.) 1-6pm; 12/28 Beechtree Rehabilitation Center 10-3pm; 12/29 Dryden Fire Dept. 10-3pm

AMERICANA’S 2ND ANNUAL NEW YEAR’S EVE MIX & MINGLE Monday, December 31 from 4PM-8PM | 4367 E. Covert Rd., Interlaken | Americana continues a new tradition of their New Year’s Eve kickoff party, this year with DJ Elephant Sound playing dance music up in the loft, a 4-course casual buffet downstairs, craft cocktails in the Cafe, door prizes and a bubbly toast sending off 2018 at 8pm -- before you head off for your next party or home to watch the ball drop. Family-friendly & casual, come join them as they get this big evening started early! (photo: provided)

Library, 24 W. Main Street, Dryden | Addy Walker - 1864 Movie Matinee - “Isle of Dogs” | 12:00 PM, 12/27 Thursday | Ovid Firehouse, Community Meeting Room, 2136 Brown Street, Ovid | Rated PG-13. Part of Edith B. Ford Memorial Library’s Winter Break Youth Activities† - drop in programs for kids 7+.†

Library, 101 East Green Street, Ithaca | Also one from 3:30 to 4:00 PM.

Youth Activities† - drop in programs for kids 7+.†

Snow Science | 12:00 PM, 12/28 Friday | Ovid Firehouse, Community Meeting Room, 2136 Brown Street, Ovid | Dress for outdoor play, indoors if necessary. Learn about the science of snow, make Star Wars snowflakes and enjoy maple ice. Part of Edith B. Ford Memorial Library’s Winter Break

Ithaca Sociable Singles | 6:00 PM, 12/27 Thursday | Dinner: Taste of Thai Express, Ithaca. Host: Joyce W., RSVP: joyceannewhite@icloud.com Community Game Night | 6:30 PM, 12/27 Thursday | First Presbyterian Church, 315 N Cayuga St, Ithaca | Community Game Night is a welcoming, inclusive gathering for people to play board games and card games. All ages are welcome. Bring a game to play or play a game someone else brought. Enter through the green door on Court St, or the door by Dewitt Park. We are downstairs in Dodds Hall. Social Networking Workshop | 1:00 PM, 12/28 Friday | Tompkins County Workforce Center, Center Ithaca, Suite 241, | You will learn how to take

advantage of social networking sites such as LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter in your job search. This workshop provides general guidance on building a presentable profile and presence Beginner Bird Walks | 8:30 AM, 12/29 Saturday | Cornell Lab of Ornithology, 159 Sapsucker Woods Rd, Ithaca | Guided bird walks every Saturday and Sunday morning, starting at 8:30 a.m., sponsored by the Cayuga Bird Club. Targeted toward beginners, but appropriate for all. Binoculars available for loan.

Health S.A.I.L. Into Fitness | Classes held in T-burg, Brooktondale and Ithaca. Contact Lifelong for days and times. Tai Chi | Classes held in Brooktondale, Lansing and Ithaca. Contact Lifelong for dates and times. Exercise Class for Seniors | 8:30 AM, 12/27 Thursday | Newfield Public Library, 198 Main St. , Newfield | Chair Yoga | 10:15 AM, 12/27 Thursday | Ulyssess Philomathic Library, 74 East Main Street, Trumansburg | Take off Pounds Sensibly | 6:00 PM, 12/27 Thursday | Candor Town Hall, 101 Owego Road, Candor | Contact Jean Dewey 659-9969 or jmdewey@ frontiernet.net Sacred Sunday Community at Yoga Farm | 9:00 AM, 12/30 Sunday | Yoga Farm, 404 Conlon Rd, Lansing | All are Welcome. Discover Your Self & Awaken Your Kindest Humanity. Pray. Move. Sit. Connect. Open Meditation | 10:30 AM, 12/30 Sunday | Foundation of Light, 391 Turkey Hill Road, Ithaca | Dance Church Ithaca | 11:30 AM, 12/30 Sunday | Fine Spirit Studio, 201 Dey Street, 2nd Floor, Ithaca | A free-movement and conscious dance experience for all ages held weekly. | $5 suggested donation Overeaters Anonymous 12-Step meeting | 7:00 PM, 12/31 Monday | Just Be Cause Center, 1013 W State St, Ithaca |

SATURDAY DECEMBER 29 THROUGH MONDAY DECEMBER 31 AT 7:00PM.

OPERA ITHACA PRESENTS: A LITTLE NIGHT MUSIC NEW YEAR’S EVE GALA

First Baptist Church, 309 N. Cayuga St., Ithaca | Walk a “Path of Prayer” into 2019 on this circular labyrinth based on the design of the floor of France’s Chartes Cathedral (1194-1220 A.D.). The space will be open to everyone in the community and beyond, including people of all ages and faiths. The labyrinth acts as a metaphor and as a physical means of expression for prayer and meditation. (photo: provided)

MONDAY, DECEMBER 31 AT 8:00PM

Hangar Theatre, 801 Taughannock Blvd. Ithaca | It is Opera Ithaca’s 4th annual New Year’s Eve Gala, this year featuring Sondheim’s ‘A Little Night Music’. There will be food, cash bar, entertainment, and a champagne toast at midnight. (photo: provided)

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LABYRINTH MEDITATION

I t h a c a T i m e s 17

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ters * Calendars * Brochures. Call us for

CARPENTER

Genuine Opportunity. Start Immediately.

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ARNOLD PRINT SERVICES

a Fast, Free Estimate (607)272-7800 or

hours, $21.87 to $23.77 per hour. Retire-

www.SouthSenecaWindows.com Romulus, NY Romulus, NY 315-585-6050 or 315-585-6050 Toll Free at I t h a c a 866-585-6050 Tori m e sFree / at December Toll

(NYSCAN)

Street, Ithaca, NY 14850 has 2 office

(AAN CAN)

$1000 a Week!!

at no cost to you. Call: 1-800-404-8852

Institute of Maintenance 800-725-1563

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866-585-6050

630/Commercial / Offices

Postcards * Posters * Flyers * Newslet-

Your one Stop Shop

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help find solutions to your unique needs

Shaw & Murphy PLLC, 109 E. Seneca

hometown electrical distributor

18 T

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for R12 cylinders or cases of cans.

per week / 13 week minimum

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| 59,200 Readers

MERCHANDISE $100 - $500

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Internet: www.ithaca.com Mail: Ithaca Times Classified Dept PO Box 27 Ithaca NY 14850 In Person: Mon.-Fri. 9am-5pm 109 North Cayuga Street

Phone: Mon.-Fri. 9am-5pm Fax: 277-1012 (24 Hrs Daily)

Special Rates:

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PIANOS

• Rebuilt • Reconditioned • Bought• Sold • Moved • Tuned • Rented

Complete rebuilding services. No job too big or too small. Call us.

Ithaca Piano Rebuilders (607) 272-6547 950 Danby Rd., Suite 26

South Hill Business Campus, Ithaca, NY

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Earthlink High Speed

Guaranteed Life Insurance!

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in-home consultation: 888-657-9488. (NYSCAN)

COMPUTER ISSUES?

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DONATE YOUR CAR

Wheels For Wishes Benefiting

Make-A-Wish® Central New York *Free Vehicle/Boat Pickup ANYWHERE *We Accept All Vehicles Running or Not *Fully Tax Deductible

WheelsForWishes.org

Call: (315) 400-0797

* Car Donation Foundation d/b/a Wheels For Wishes. To learn more about our programs or financial information, visit www.wheelsforwishes.org.

Discover the world’s best walk-in bathtub from

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5 Reasons American Standard Walk-In Tubs are Your Best Choice 1 2

Includes FREE American StandardRight Height Toilet

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888-609-0248 Receive a free American Standard Cadet toilet with full installation of a Liberation Walk-In Bath, Liberation Shower, or Deluxe Shower. Offer valid only while supplies last. Limit one per household. Must be first time purchaser. See www.walkintubs.americanstandard-us.com for other restrictions and for licensing, warranty, and company information. CSLB B982796; Suffolk NY:55431H; NYC:HIC#2022748-DCA. Safety Tubs Co. LLC does not sell in Nassau NY, Westchester NY, Putnam NY, Rockland NY.

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Backed by American Standard’s 140 years of experience $ Ultra low entry for easy entering and exiting Patented Quick Drain® fast water removal system Lifetime Warranty on the bath AND installation, INCLUDING labor backed by American Standard 44 Hydrotherapy jets for an invigorating massage

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SAVING0 S

All Natural • Anti-Inflammatory • Anti-Anxiety Anti-Depressant • Overall Mood Stabilizer 7991 Brewerton Road/Rt. 11, Cicero | (315) 698-0233 • 5374 W. Genesee St., Camillus | 315-474-0252 New Hartford Shopping Center | (315) 724-5291 Visit our website at www.oldewickermill.com

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The Olde Wicker Mill

Saving a Life EVERY 11 MINUTES

Central New York’s Premier Gift Store

Special Funding Programs For NecessaryHome Improvements Are Now Available, Apply Today.

Help in Shower with

GPS !

Rooong | Windows | Siding | Insulation | Walk-In Tubs Contact us today and our highly knowledgeable team will be able to help discover the available funding programs that will best t you and your needs.

We would like to thank all of our wonderful customers for their patronage this year.

Help at Home

Help On-the-Go

HELP

From our entire staff... We wish you all a Very Merry Christmas and a Happy, Healthy, Prosperous New Year!

® et up! g t ’ n a c I and I’ve fallen

I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!

Get HELP fast, 24/7, anywhere with

For a FREE brochure call:

1-800-404-9776 De c e mb e r

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New Hartford Shopping Center | (315) 724-5291 7991 Brewerton Road/Rt. 11, Cicero | (315) 698-0233 • 5374 W. Genesee St., Camillus | 315-474-0252 Visit our website at www.oldewickermill.com

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I t h a c a T i m e s 19

BackPage

Men’s and Women’s Alterations

For rates and information contact Cyndi Brong at

for over 20 years Fur & Leather repair, zipper repair.

cbrong@ithactimes.com

277-7000 p h o n e 277-1012 f a x

Calendars * Brochures

John’s Tailor Shop

Call us for a Fast, Free Estimate

John Serferlis - Tailor

Enter to Win

Save up to 50% off on select floors

lawn maintenance

Featuring Lee’s Carpeting

Feel the heat with

spring + fall clean up + gutter cleaning

landscape design + installation

New Carpeting for the Holidays

Go to pulsepoll.com

607-272-1504

patios, retaining walls, + walkways

273-3192

$3,000

Landscaping Inc.

Bishops Carpet One

Trekker Pellet Stoves powerful and efficient stoves

NEW YEAR! NEW YOU!

ever created by Quadra-Fire

snow removal

Designed for easy use,

dumpster rentals Find us on Facebook!

the Trekker features a convenient

EHRHART ENERGY Wood Bricks * BioHeat Fuel Oil

Macintosh Consulting

Call Us Today 607-387-8881

http://www.allaboutmacs.com

24/7 Emergency Response

(607) 280-4729

www.ehrhartenergy.com

* BUYING RECORDS *

Since 1965

Arnold Printing Corp. 604 West Green Street, Ithaca, NY

Stories, poems, drawings and photographs are welcome

UNLIMITED Yoga for $40!

This year’s theme is

MIGHTY YOGA

“My Brilliant Solution”

Voted Best of Ithaca

Email submissions, with a subject line

Visit www.mightyyoga.com, 272-0682

Propane * Wood Pellets

ALL ABOUT MACS

QUALITY PRINT SERVICES

Start with 30 Days of Recharge and Renew!

Bluetooth thermostat with 7-day programming

AAM

607-272-7800 or info@arnoldprintingcorp.com

430 W. State St. Ithaca, NY 273-8807

Trekker Cast Iron Pellet Stoves are the most

drainage

Flyers * Newsletters

Same Day Service Available

102 The Commons

4 Seasons

Postcards * Posters

NOW OPEN YOUR CBD STORE

of “Readers’ Writes” to editor@ithacatimes.com

The only dedicated retail store for all things CBD 308 E. Seneca Street * Ithaca

Independence Cleaners Corp

845-244-0868

The Green Satori Inn Affordable weekly, monthly rates.

LPs 45s 78s ROCK JAZZ BLUES

RESIDENTIAL & COMMERCIAL

PUNK REGGAE ETC

Janitorial Service * Floor/Carpet

PEACEFUL SPIRIT TAI CHI

High Dusting * Windows/Awnings

Please join us for traditional

Relax, Refresh, Rusticate Now!

24/7 CLEANING Services

Yang Style Tai Ji Quan (Tai Chi)

www.greensatoriinn.com/rates

607-227-3025

FRIDAYS 7:30-8:30PM

“CLEAR IT OUT”

Love dogs?

Centerline Fitness and Martial Arts

Basements, Barns, Garages & etc.

Check out Cayuga Dog Rescue!

Reliable and Affordable

Adopt! Foster! Volunteer! Donate for vet care!

Richard F. Vogt

www.cayugadogrescue.org

admin@peacefulspiritacupuncture.com

Call 387-4190 water1945@live.com

www.facebook.com/CayugaDogRescue

607-272-0114

Angry Mom Records 115 The Commons Basement 319-4953 angrymomrecords@gmail.com

Just 20 minutes south of Ithaca

at 335 Elmira Road ALL LEVELS WELCOME Anthony Fazio LAc., C.A.

Who’s Fabulous in Your Life? Nominate Today Fab 5 Young Professional Awards TompkinsChamber.org/fab5awards

Holiday GreetinGs from

ithaca com

Holiday GreetinGs 20 T I T / D 2 6

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t h a c a

ithaca com

i m e s

from

e c e m b e r

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