Opinion

An Amplification of Desire

By Steve Lawrence

Tim Hector

Swimmers don’t wear hats, but if they did, Tim Hector of the Ithaca College swim team would wear several. The 2017 Ithaca High graduate is primarily a backstroker, but he jumps in to help out (good metaphor) if the team needs him for sprints, freestyle or butterfly.

Hector is a tri-captain for the Bombers, and he earned that designation not because he is a senior, but because he has made big contributions over the years. During the 2019-20 season —the Bombers’ last real season before the pandemic — Tim was part of the winning 200 medley relay team at the Liberty League Championship which won in 1:31.89, setting a new meet record. He was also on the winning 200 freestyle relay team and the winning 400 medley relay team which won in 3:21.55, setting a new meet, conference and school record. His list of accomplishments is a long one, but you get the point — he earned that title of tri-captain.

Any college athlete will tell you that there are some adjustments to be made when going from the high school to the collegiate level, and in Hector’s words, “I think the biggest difference is that in high school, you have some kids come out for teams to have fun, to spend time with their friends. In college, you still want to have fun, but there’s a bigger focus on becoming the best athlete you can possibly be.”

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Not Making This Up

By Charley Githler

AN ACT relating to the social studies curriculum in public schools.

BE IT ENACTED BY THE LEGISLATURE OF THE STATE OF TEXAS:

SECTION A 1. Subchapter J, Chapter 21, Education Code, is amended by adding Section 21.4555 to read as follows:

A. Henceforth, educators shall present each topic from diverse and contending perspectives without giving deference to any one perspective.

B. In adopting the essential knowledge and skills for the social studies curriculum for pre-kindergarten, the Texas State Board of Education shall adopt essential knowledge and skills that develop each student ’s civic knowledge, including:

(1) an understanding of:

(a) the fundamental moral, political, and intellectual implications of baking four and twenty blackbirds in a pie, provided, however that there be equal exposure to alternative theories regarding the number of blackbirds, the conditions in which the pie may or may not have been baked, and the race or ethnicity of the person(s) engaging in the baking, if any, of the pie.

(b) the history and complexity of Georgie Porgie, who may or may not have kissed girls and made them cry, presenting the contending perspectives that Porgie later ran away when the girls came out to play, it was a long time ago, and Porgie didn’t recall kissing anyone, just like Justice Kavanaugh.

(c) the moral and political implications of the story of the Old Woman Who Lived In a Shoe, including an exploration of why she keeps having offspring while inhabiting a shoe, as well as the diverse interpretations of the narrative, such as invoking the spirit of the pioneers of the Olde West and making her fend for herself. Like the pioneers. Also, reminding the students that corporal punishment is legal in Texas.

(d) the previous existence of Native Americans and dinosaurs in Texas, provided, however, that no deference is given to any one theory about when they lived or what happened to them. Just before naptime, suggest that hypothesizing the existence of people or creatures that existed before us has all the earmarks of a hoax.

(e) the essential importance of the concept that Caring is Sharing, bearing in mind that self-interested buyers and sellers are the very cornerstone of Capitalism. Under no circumstances punish, criticize or otherwise sanction a student for not sharing at snacktime, as that sends the message that you are giving deference to the perspective that sharing is mandatory, which is indistinguishable from Socialism.

(f) the history and traditions associated with the story of the Itsy Bitsy Spider, while being careful to avoid giving deference to the perspective that increasingly-frequent episodes of torrential rainfall alternating with scorching drought are in any way a symptom of climate change caused by human activity.

NEXT COLUMN: Do you think Mexico will take Texas back if we ask them nicely?