Island Parent May 2019

islandparent M AY

2 0 1 9

Vancouver Island’s Parenting Resource for 31 Years

What New Parents Need to Know

MEET A RAPTOR

THIS CLOSE

Shoes • Clothing • Books • Diaper Bags • Skincare • Sleep Aids Strollers • Car Seats • CRIBS • Carriers • Furniture • Toys

1581 Hillside Ave, Victoria 778•265•5651

ENCOUNTERS • FLYING DEMOS THE-RAPTORS.COM 1877 HERD ROAD, DUNCAN, BC

Across the street from Hillside Centre

SHOP ONLINE AT MOMEASE.CA

St. Joseph’s Elementary School

We are hosting an

Open House

Sunday, May 26th • 11 to 2 pm 1931 Millstream Road

Ongoing Tours available for all 4 programs • Pro. D certificates available for ECEs • Meet and greet the educators!

• Visit the new Spirit Bear Lodge • Celebrate with us!

St. Joseph’s Elementary School offers Grades K–7, as well as licensed Group Day Care and Preschool.

Applications are available on-line or from the school office. St. Joseph’s offers a rigorous academic program in a Catholic Christian atmosphere.

757 West Burnside Road 250 479 1232 www.stjosephschool.ca

Come Grow With Us!

A Reggio-Emilia Influenced Nature Daycare “What’s important is that children have an opportunity to bond with the natural world, to learn to love it, before being asked to heal its wounds.” ~ David Sobel

lexieslittlebears.ca

250-590-3603

Swan Lake christmas hill n a t u r e

s a n c t u a r y

3873 Swan Lake Road, Victoria, B.C. Canada, V8X 3W1 | www.swanlake.bc.ca | 250-479-0211

IslandParent.ca

May 2019  3

Tab l e of C o ntent s

Features 10

The Blur of a New Baby How to help new parents cope.

21

Get Ready for the Parade

Celebrate Victoria Day.

12

Jerri carson

What New Parents Need A Products & Services Guide

ESTELLE PAGET

38

21

The Fun of Forest Schools

Learning through nature.

Sue CAmeron & alix wilson

16

No Short Cuts

Why lawnmower/snowplow parenting doesn’t work.

JILLIAN ROBERTS

18

What Lies Behind Lying

And how to remove the temptation.

12

38

susan gnucci

In Every Issue

32

34

Family Services Directory

36

Book Nook

5

Stories to read again and again.

Editor’s Note

Christina Van Starkenburg

Parents helping parents.

40

Sue Fast

6

Need to Know

42

14

44

Cooking With Kids

20

Party Directory

22

Is There an App for This?

When being alone is by choice.

Emillie Parrish

Laura Trunkey

32

Dadspeak

Nerf and the ‘G’ word.

Kelly mcquillan

David leach

islandparent Vancouver Island’s Parenting Resource for 31 Years

What New Parents Need to Know

4 Island Parent Magazine

Maternity & Beyond

For the love of lentils.

A mother’s legacy.

Becca H (6 mos) Photo by Chris Higginbottom Photography chrishigginbottom.ca

Rachael tancock

30

anita ebenezer

2 0 1 9

A naturalist’s guide to family hiking.

Family Calendar

Baby’s first words.

M AY

Nature Notes

24

Healthy Families, Happy Families

On the Cover

36

Preschool & Child Care Directory

46

46

Jim Schneider Publisher publisher@islandparent.ca Sue Fast Editor editor@islandparent.ca Linda Frear Account Manager/Office Manager linda@islandparent.ca Kristine Wickheim Account Manager kristine@islandparent.ca Island Parent Magazine, published by Island Parent Group Enterprises Ltd., is a monthly publication that honours and supports parents by providing information on resources and businesses for Vancouver Island families. Views expressed are not necessarily those of the publisher. No material herein may be reproduced without the permission of the publisher. Annual mail subscriptions (12 issues) are available for $35 (GST included). Canadian Publication Mail Product Sales Agreement 40051398. ISSN 0838-5505.

Cut It Out!

Becoming a step-parent.

Allison Rees

Island Parent Magazine 830–A Pembroke St Victoria, BC V8T 1H9 250-388-6905 islandparent.ca

IslandParent.ca

E dito r ’ sN ote

The Minimum Wage of Motherhood

$215,525.00 That’s how much your services are worth if you’re a stay-athome mom, according to Salary.com, a compensation consulting firm. That means, if you’re a new mom, you’d earn close to $4 million by the time your bouncing baby hits 18.

Based on a mom’s standard 96-hour work week—and including “hybrid” roles such as teacher, psychologist, coach, dietician, and event planner, among others—the six-figure salary “puts a pricetag on a priceless job.”

Depending upon where you live, how many children you have and how many hours you spend engaged in any of motherhood’s associated jobs, Salary.com will calculate your net worth—factoring in the “steady flow of rewarding hugs and kisses”—when calculating base pay and overtime.

What it doesn’t take into account, some might argue, is a mom’s “invisible workload,” the necessary but unnoticed tasks that moms do for our families that would only ever draw attention if they didn’t happen.

“It’s not just making dinner every night,” writes Erin Pepler at scarymommy.com, “it’s knowing what everyone likes, deciding what to make, having a mental inventory of what’s already in the fridge and cupboards, picking up the groceries, and knowing which night we won’t be home for dinner because of soccer. It’s packing the leftovers into a Tupperware and making a mental note of when it will go bad. It’s noticing that maple syrup has spilled in the back of the fridge and silently cleaning it up, tossing out an old salad dressing and some uneaten pasta as you go.”

This list looks somewhat different to everyone, she adds, but it never ends.

With that in mind, I’d bet that what most moms are hoping for this Mother’s Day isn’t a cheque for $215,525—although I’m sure that couldn’t hurt—it’s a nap.

So if your family is looking for a way to show you how much they love you this Mother’s Day, tell them to forget about the box of chocolates and bouquet of flowers, and to take over your to-do list instead. And remember: the best things in life are free.

Happy Mother’s Day. – Sue Fast

Creating beautiful smiles New patients always welcome Call or email us today and our dental team would be happy to assist you with an appointment

Westshore Dental Centre

Mon – Thurs: 7:30 am – 7:30 pm Fri: 7:30 am – 5:00 pm Sat: 9:00 am – 5:00 pm

152 – 2945 Jacklin Road • 250-474-2296 • www.westshoredental.com IslandParent.ca

May 2019 5

N E E DTO KN oW

KidCareCanada

Babies don’t come with a manual. As a new parent, you want to do the right thing and raise your child to be socially and emotionally healthy. To help, KidCareCanada has produced a collection of carefully-crafted, trustworthy resources in a visual format that is easy-to-understand and quick to watch. videos, Tv talk shows and other materials are available free for parents and caregivers, health providers, day care operators and other educational professionals who support families. kidcarecanada.org.

the

Rock Rink Youth Battle of the Bands

Take part in this year’s Youth Battle of the Bands at Juan de Fuca Rec Centre on Saturday, June 1 from 7-10:30pm. The winner of the battle gets to play a set at Laketown Shakedown. Come out and support young local artists and enjoy some great music. The event is open to all ages, bands must be 18 or under. Doors open at 6:30pm. westshorerecreation.ca.

Everyone’s favourite upside-down fairytale comes to life at the McPherson Playhouse when the Victoria Operatic Society (VOS) presents the musical adaptation of the Oscar-winning DreamWorks animated film about an irreverent but loveable ogre who embarks on a life-changing adventure. Shrek: The Musical runs May 3, 4, 10 and 11 at 8pm, with 2pm matinees on May 5 and 12. Tickets range from $21.75 to $54.50 with discounts available for students/seniors and are available at the McPherson Playhouse box office 250-386-6121 or online at rmts.bc.ca.

Shrek: The Musical 6

Island Parent Magazine

IslandParent.ca

Going Gaga for Ga Ga Ball

GaGa Ball is a fast paced, high-energy sport played in an octagonal pit. The more players the better! Dubbed a kinder gentler version of dodge ball, the game is played with a soft foam ball, and combines the skills of dodging, striking, running, and jumping, while trying to hit opponents with a ball below the knees.

Visit gagacenter.com.

On Sunday May 26, communities across BC will participate in the annual MS Walk to raise funds and improve the lives of Canadians living with multiple sclerosis (MS). Hundreds of participants will walk to ensure that Canadians with MS have a better future.

The Walk starts at Cadboro-Gyro Park where participants can choose from a variety of routes, including a wheelchair accessible route for participants using mobility aids.

Check-in: 9:30am; start time: 10:30am.

Visit mswalks.ca.

Photos: Emma Cottier

And...

20% OFF SALE in the store!

ParentFest A Day of Pampering for New and Expectant Parents Friday, May 31, 2019 - 2-8pm

massage reflexology acupuncture mini-photo sessions each mini-session only $5 doulas to hold babies workshops for parents activities for toddlers live music snacks prizes 975 Fort Street,Victoria BC 250-595-4905 - motheringtouch.ca IslandParent.ca

May 2019

7

The Freya-Sophia Waldorf Store

N eedto Kn ow

Natural Childhood

Beautiful selection of books, organic wool clothing, wooden toys, silks, dolls, cards, prints, painting and handwork supplies.

STEINER BOOKSTORE: Extensive Selection of Inspiring Books and Resources for Children, Parents, Teachers, Carers and Homeschoolers 250-597-4763 Located in the Sol-Centre, 5380 Hwy 1, Duncan Hours: Monday – Saturday 10 – 4; Closed Sundays.

Find us on Facebook@freyasophiawaldorfstore – Follow us on Instagram

R  B M’ G, B,  T C

Touch a Truck On May 26, Victoria’s “Team 4 Hope” presents the 8th Annual Touch a Truck for Pediatric Cancer Research. Children and their families are invited to get behind the wheel and explore trucks of all kinds, including firetrucks, police cars, excavators, cement trucks and more. From 11am-3pm at Panorama Recreation Centre.

This fun-filled afternoon also includes family activities, a BBQ lunch, and a 1km Family Fun Run.

Our Academy Programs are the perfect combination of outdoor fun and professional instruction. From private instruction to group camps, our programs are tailor-made for all-ages and abilities.

Choose from golf, tennis, or cycling.

B E A R M O U N TA I N . C A

2 5 0.74 4 . 2 3 2 7 | 1 9 9 9 C O U N T RY C L U B WAY, V I C TO R I A B C

8 Island Parent Magazine BMR_ACADEMY_ISLAND PARENT_2017 Camps.indd 1

Join the Team 4 Hope at Touch a Truck 2019 for Pediatric Cancer Research to help give hope to children battling Neuroblastoma.

Tickets: $15/family (in advance), $20/family (at the door) or $10 for individual tickets (at the door).

For tickets, visit team4hope.com or visit Kidding Around Children’s Store in Sidney (cash only at this location).

2017-02-14 11:27 AM

IslandParent.ca

Mother’s Day Musical Garden Tour This Mother’s Day weekend—May 11 and 12—you are invited to connect with gorgeous gardens and enjoy springtime in Victoria with the Victoria Conservatory of Music at the Mother’s Day Musical Garden Tour 2019. Your $35 two-day Garden Tour 2019 pass grants exclusive passage to 10 hand-picked, enchanting oasis to revel in the inspiration and joy of gardening while enjoying music from VCM students, faculty and guest musicians. Also, don’t miss the fantastic plant sale, which helps the VCM raise additional money for important student scholarships and programming. A week prior to the event, you will not be able to buy tickets online, as mailing time will be too short. Please call 250-386-5311 or visit the VCM Box Office at 900 Johnson Street. There are a variety of ticket locations in Victoria and across Vancouver Island as well. For more information on the Tour, including garden descriptions and ticket locations, visit vcm.bc.ca/ victoria-garden-tour/

Mother’s Day Paint-in

FINAL FILM OF THE SEASON! Sun. May 5 at 1, 4 & 7pm Mon. May 6 at 7pm Avalon Cinema, Woodgrove

TICKETS: $13

Woman at War

“NEAR PERFECT. Is there anything rarer than an intelligent feel-good film that knows how to tackle urgent global issues with humour? Look no further.” Variety

250-754-7587 | theatreone.org

Make a day of the 24th Royal Roads University Mother’s Day Paint-in and Craft Fair at Hatley Park and gardens on May 12 from 11am-4pm.

Take a stroll in the heritage gardens and watch the plein air painters capture the magic of this special place.

Enjoy family entertainment, main-stage performances, children’s crafts, local artisans and vendors, and free entry to the Hatley Park museum. You can bring a picnic or purchase food on site. It’s a day to celebrate Mom with the whole family. royalroads.ca

Mad Hatter’s Goes to the Improv Don your costume and hat, bring your friends and colleagues and join over 200 of Victoria’s business influencers for the 4th Annual Mad Hatter fundraiser, the signature fundraising event for the Boys & Girls Club of Greater Victoria, on Friday, May 24. Hats are a must and costumes encouraged. Your ticket includes: catered reception with food stations, live and silent auctions, games, raffles, best hat and costume contest, warm fuzzy feelings helping kids in our community and a few surprises. Catered reception from 6:30-8pm. Live Improv Comedy Show by Paper Street Theatre Co at 8:15pm, live auction 8:15pm. Visit bgcvic.org.

IslandParent.ca

May 2019 9

The Blur of a New Baby Support for new parents is crucial to the well-being of both the new baby and the new parents. To that end, KidCareCanada helps bridge the theory and practice of nurturing with a wealth of free online resources for new parents. This month, in the first of a three-part series, Estelle Paget, KidCare’s Executive Director and Founder, offers practical ways we can help ease the transition into new parenthood. For more ideas, visit kidcarecanada.org.

T

he first three months of life whiz by—when we’re looking back! At the time they can seem like an endless marathon of feeding baby, changing baby, soothing baby, surrounded by a dirty house, mounting laundry and uninteresting meals.

There are also wonderful, magical moments and surprises.

Who knew, before having their own baby, that a brand new baby would be so aware and responsive to our voice and touch? Who could imagine the bliss of having their own baby lie on their chest?

Those first three months are critically important for a new baby’s development and we all have a role to play in supporting new parents who are generally sleep deprived and feeling vulnerable.

It’s an emotional time. The relief of a healthy baby brings intense joy. Holding a sleeping baby is heavenly. But when the baby cries, it is distressing for everyone, especially the tired parents. And sometimes babies cry because they are picking up on parents’ emotions.

Above all else, infant and mother need to be kept safe. New mothers need to feel secure and surrounded by people they

• Our role is to help new parents have a stress-free environment for their new baby.

• The best gift for a new parent is practical help, generously given.

• Let new parents choose the support they want—help with the laundry or delivery of a home-cooked meal.

• New parents need a break. Encourage “self-care” and be available to hold the baby when mom wants a shower or some time to herself.

• Dads can be overwhelmed and need to get away from constant baby time.

• Avoid judgement. Provide easy-going support. Don’t take anything personally.

• Help parents understand the baby’s perspective. Baby is trying to figure out strange, and possibly painful, sensations of hunger and digestion.

• New parents need help from a calm, mature and trustworthy person who is not flustered by a crying baby and takes pleasure in holding and soothing the baby.

trust. It is up to family and the community to provide an envelope of support and services so that the relationship between new parents and baby can develop.

The following are some big lessons I have learned from being “Nana” to new babies, the sounding board for new parents and the interviewer of early childhood specialists:

For New Parents

For Family & Friends

• Parents often have high, self-imposed ideals about how they “should” be as parents. It is not possible to be a perfect parent. Nor is it desirable. However, these high ideals can have a negative impact on a new mother that extends to baby and others in the family.

• The only goals new parents should have are nurturing their baby and catching up on sleep.

• New parents need support (but not advice, unless they ask for it).

10

Island Parent Magazine

• Before having your own baby it is hard to imagine how much time and effort it takes to care for a new baby, and how tired you can feel.

• If possible, arrange to have a support system in place before your baby is born.

• Surround yourself with people you trust. It is preferable to gently put your crying baby on their back in their bed than in the arms of someone you don’t fully trust.

• Babies are born aware and ready to learn. It may seem like they are only sleeping, eating, pooping or crying, but their brains are developing rapidly.

• Babies cry. They do not do it to upset you but to let you know something isn’t right. They may not even know themselves what that is. It could be a new sensation like hunger, or pains in their digestive system. Try to comfort your baby. Let them know you know they are upset and will try your best to IslandParent.ca

figure out what’s wrong. Talk to them gently. Hold them. Try singing. Try rocking. Ask a friend or family member to take them for a while.

• Singing provides vibrations that often calm babies. Singing silly songs often helps both parent and baby. Sometimes breathing deeply while holding your baby helps.

• Fresh air, even when it’s cold out, also helps, as long as baby is bundled up.

• Carrying your baby as much as possible helps baby and you to connect.

• Daytime diaper changes provide a great opportunity to lovingly smile, massage, and/or talk and sing to baby, when you are not too tired!

• Recognize that most new mothers have moments of sadness and want a break from their baby. Call on friends and family so you can spend some time on “self-care”. A “good” mother cares for her child—and for herself. This involves getting enough sleep, a minimum of six hours over a 24 hour period.

Make time to eat, exercise and connect with others. This will lift your mood and help you become a more “present” parent.

• Avoid isolation and negative self-talk.

Sleep deprivation can cause the most balanced individual to feel “unhinged.”

• If you experience anxiety or depression for more than two weeks contact your health provider. Early treatment leads to positive results. If left untreated postpartum depression can develop into chronic depression.

Do not hesitate, ask for help.

Parents who nurture their babies are eventually rewarded when baby changes into a charming, smiling and irresistible “conversationalist” (okay, with limited vocalizations) who adoringly looks into your eyes and “lights up” when you pay attention.

New parents may feel like their house will never again be clean or that they no longer have time for each other, but a miracle eventually happens. All of a sudden, baby is a little person who happily stays awake for hours and has real naps, and parents find themselves laughing at their baby’s antics and enjoying each other again.

Estelle Paget is the Founder and Executive Director of KIDCARECANADA Society. A life-long educator, she has taught in universities in France and Canada for over 30 years and created universitywide programs.

SUMMER CAMPS

Camp 1: July 22–25, 9:30–12:30 | Camp 2: Aug 12–15, 9:30–12:30

onGoinG KiDS cLASSES:

Acting for the Camera: 8–11 years

Saturdays 10am–12pm | Instructor: Julia Dillon-Davis

This introductory class offers young people a chance to explore the craft of film acting.

Students will work on audition scenes, partner scenes and group projects. Each class will include drama and improv games to inspire creativity and scene creation. We’ll also learn about audition and on-set etiquette, and what it is to be a professional in the film industry (even when you’re not full grown!). The class will conclude with a family and friends screening showcasing the students’ work.

Acting for the Camera: 12–15 years

Saturdays 12:30–3pm | Instructor: Julia Dillon-Davis

This class offers teens an introduction to the craft of film acting. Participants work on audition scenes, partner scenes and group projects. Assignments focus on character exploration and scene study and use improvisation to explore characters, dynamics and story. We’ll also learn about audition and on-set etiquette, and what it is to be a professional in the film industry.

The class will conclude with a family and friends screening showcasing the students’ work.

202–734 Aldebury St

vadarts.com 250.580.2588

IslandParent.ca

May 2019

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What New Parents Need A Products & Services Guide

Suite 228, 102–15910 Fraser Highway, Surrey BC V4N 0X9

12 Island Parent Magazine

The Freya-Sophia Waldorf and Steiner Book Store is here to nurture the gentle unfolding of childhood throughout the seasons. We are staffed by knowledgeable Waldorf educators and enthusiasts who are inspired by the insights of Rudolf Steiner. Our store is for all parents who

and puzzles, for all members of your family—from siblings to grandparents, or even yourself. Come explore our store. 102-2517 Bowen Road, Nanaimo.

1-888-390-1775. koolandchild.com.

are seeking healthy alternatives to our high tech world who would like to learn more about nurturing the soul needs of their children from pre-birth through adolescence. Children can play in our cute little gnome home while mom or dad get to browse our beautiful store and discover the wonderful things we have to offer. We are open Monday through Saturday 10-4.

Momease Baby Boutique specializes in innovative and functional baby gear and parenting accessories. Centrally located in Victoria, we offer a wide selection of items including strollers, car seats, carriers, cribs, clothing, shoes, toys, books and more. We are passionate about helping you navigate the road to parenthood and beyond, so whether it’s creating a personalized baby gift registry, or a first outing with your newborn, we love spending time with new or expectant parents. Visit us at our bright and bustling boutique at 1581 Hillside Avenue (778265-5651), right across from Hillside Centre, or shop online at momease.ca.

Kool & Child. For your child’s first teddy bear, teether, or book, check out our great selection of infant and toddler toys. We also carry an extensive collection of games, toys,

IslandParent.ca

Mothering Touch Centre is the comprehensive resource centre for new and expectant parents. We offer support through every stage of pregnancy and early parenthood: childbirth preparation, pre- and post-natal yoga, breastfeeding support, parenting classes, parent-and-baby groups, and baby massage. Our friendly staff inform and support parents and grandparents as they select cloth diapers, nursing bras, breastpumps and breastfeeding accessories and much more. Drop in for a chat, nurse your baby in our lounge, and experience the warmth of the Mothering Touch. 975 Fort St. 250-595-4905. motheringtouch.ca.

Spina Bifida. Something so small can make such a big difference. Folic acid reduces the risk of birth defects such as spina bifida. It is found in some foods, but for most women, eating fortified food is not enough.

To reach the recommended daily level you will need a vitamin supplement and it should be taken at least three months before pregnancy. Help protect your baby before it is born by getting enough folic acid daily. sbhabc.org.

IslandParent.ca

Sutubra Naturals and Organics has searched high and low to bring you the best and most beautiful earth-based products.

We focus on naturals and organic products from all over North America, Germany, and New Zealand. We have a wide selection including natural baby products, sunscreens, hair and skin care, makeup, bath essentials and more. Come visit us today at Hillside Mall where you will meet our friendly and knowledgeable team to help you chose the best product for you. sutubrabeauty.com.

Whether it’s diapers or decor, TJ’s The Kiddies Store is the place to go for all your baby needs. Welcoming your new baby into the world is a wonderful and challenging experience; so many decisions and so little time. Our friendly and knowledgeable staff is ready to help make your decisions as stressfree as possible. Our selection varies from furniture sets to safety items and everything in between. TJ’s is also a great place for gifts—with a baby registry and many wonderful gift ideas you will be able to find the right thing to make any new parent happy. We’re easy to find at 3045-c Douglas St. (enter off Larch St). We’re under Sleep Country. 250-386-2229.•

May 2019 13

H appyFamilies H ea lth yFamilies

Helping First Words Blossom Healthy Families, Happy Families

Child, Youth & Family Public Health South Island Health Units Esquimalt Gulf Islands

250-519-5311 250-539-3099

(toll-free number for office in Saanichton)

Peninsula 250-544-2400 Saanich 250-519-5100 Saltspring Island 250-538-4880 Sooke 250-642-5464 Victoria 250-388-2200 West Shore 250-519-3490

Central Island Health Units Duncan Ladysmith Lake Cowichan Nanaimo Nanaimo Princess Royal Parksville/ Qualicum

250-709-3050 250-755-3342 250-749-6878 250-755-3342 250-755-3342

Port Alberni Tofino

250-731-1315 250-725-4020

250-947-8242

North Island Health Units Campbell River 250-850-2110 Courtenay 250-331-8520 Kyuquot Health Ctr 250-332-5289 ‘Namgis Health Ctr 250-974-5522 Port Hardy 250-902-6071

viha.ca/prevention_services/ 14 Island Parent Magazine

A baby’s first word is an eagerly awaited and celebrated event. But what many parents don’t realize is that babies start to learn language long before they say their first word. To learn language well, babies need to hear lots of language in face-to-face interactions with people who care about them. As a speech-language pathologist who specializes in working with preschool children, Anita Ebenezer offers her top 10 tips for helping your baby learn language.

1. Talk to your baby.

When your baby is very young, talk to them like they understand what you are saying. Be chatty with your little one. Use simple language to narrate or describe what your baby is experiencing. For example, at bath time you might say, “Wash your little face. Wash your tummy. Wash all your toes.

You love bath time, don’t you?”

intentions are good, it is easier for children to learn words when you talk about things that are truly of interest to them. Watch your child to discover what is in their focus: What are they looking at? What are they playing with? What are they experiencing?

5. Reduce your questions.

Months before you hear your baby’s first word, you will hear him or her coo, babble and produce a variety of vocal sounds. This vocal play is important practice for later speech. Help your baby discover their voice by encouraging them to make all sorts of fun noises, squeals, and even blow raspberries.

Some babies love to get noisy with other people. Others prefer to experiment with their voices in the privacy of their crib or car seat. Notice where and when your baby enjoys vocal play, and give them plenty of opportunity to get noisy.

Of course, there are times when you can’t avoid asking your child a question such as “Do you want milk or water?” or “Sweetie, where did you hide Mommy’s keys?” But when adults try to draw out words from a small child by asking questions, “What’s this?” “Who is that?” the results are usually disappointing. In the short run, you may be able to force your toddler to say a word, but in the long run, this strategy backfires.

Being peppered with endless questions puts too much pressure on a little child. Don’t give your toddler a reason to withdraw from you in one way or another. Take the pressure off so your little one feels comfortable enough to stay and learn more from you.

3. Get face-to-face.

6. Say the word for them.

2. Get noisy.

Small children learn by watching and imitating the people around them. Make it easier for your baby to learn speech and language by getting face-to-face with them.

If your baby can see your face, they can hear your words clearly and see how you move your mouth and tongue for speech. Get down to your baby’s level by sitting on the floor together, stretching your legs on the couch and placing your baby in your lap, or sitting close together at a corner of a table.

Instead of trying to get your toddler to say a word by asking questions, model language by saying the word for them. When your toddler hears the word for an object, action or feeling that he or she is focused on, it is easier for your child to learn the word for that object, action or feeling. Say the word several times so your child has plenty of opportunity to learn by listening.

For example, if you see that your child is looking at a cat, you could say, “Cat. Cat. Here comes a cat.” If your child is jumping, you could say, “Jump. Jump. You are 4. Focus on their focus.

Some parents try to teach their child jumping so high!” If your child looks ready about something that the parent finds in- for a nap, you could say, “Sleepy. Sleepy. teresting—but the child doesn’t. Though the You look sleepy. Ready for a nap?”

IslandParent.ca

7. Give your child a turn in conversation.

Teach your baby early on to take their turn in conversation.

Opportunities to take turns in conversation keep your child interested and involved. This helps them to learn language. When your child is very little, they might take their turn with facial expressions, actions or sounds. As your baby learns and grows, these non-verbal ways of communicating will be replaced with words. Be patient.

Give your child time to organize a response.

8. Teach baby signs.

Children who use gestures and signs as babies tend to have stronger language skills later in childhood compared to children who did not learn signs. The ability to use signs can also reduce frustration in children who are not yet using words. Signs for “milk,” “all done” and “more,” are useful to many children. Consider teaching your baby signs for their favourite toys, snacks, and activities.

Remember—always say the word when you make the sign so your child learns the sign and the word together. Young children often start by using the sign, and say the word when they are ready.

9. Step away from the screen.

When a child or parent is focused on TV, iPad or phone screens, it takes time away from the face-to-face interactions that are important for language learning. Too much screen time is linked with difficulties with language, attention and learning. This is why paediatricians recommend no screen time at all for children under 2 years of age. Children between the ages of 2 and 5 years should have less than one hour of screen time per day.

10. Refer your child if necessary.

If your toddler does not use at least 20 words by the time they are 18-months-old, call your local health unit to refer your child for a speech and language evaluation.

Speech-language pathologists are here to help.

Anita Ebenezer works at Island Health, and was named Speech and Hearing BC’s Speech and Language Pathologist of the Year in 2018.

C HILD YOUT H & FAM ILY PUBLIC HEALTH

Come Sail with us!

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May 2019

15

No Short Cuts

T

he news of the college admission scandal in the United States left me feeling heartbroken for the thousands of children who don’t have a wealthy parent to buy them golden futures. These are the children whose parents work two or three jobs to be able to buy school supplies and put food on the table. These kids work hard to achieve their academic success. They put in hours and hours in order to achieve good grades. They study day after day to do their best on college admission tests. In order to obtain good references, these hardworking kids volunteer and do what it takes to ensure that their efforts are noticed. Yet, for a select few of other kids, success comes much easier. All it takes for some to succeed is a cheque. Which is completely and totally unfair.

What is the message that these parents are giving their kids? That due process is only applicable to those less fortunate?

That it is okay to lie and cheat and shove their way to the front of the line? That

integrity is an old-fashioned concept that no longer matters?

To make matters worse, some of the parents involved in this scandal went so far as to fake disabilities to obtain academic accommodations for admissions tests meant to level the playing field for

to do, these parents actually clear the path to ensure their kids’ lives are as easy as possible. Those involved in the bribe scandal are an example of just how far some parents will go to orchestrate their child’s (undeserved) success.

I can appreciate that parents want the best for their kids, especially now. We live in tricky times. The next generation of young people will need to tackle the incredibly complicated dilemmas of

Our kids will need to become “integrity-enriched “adult problem-solvers” in order to meet the greatest demands that any generation has had to meet. ”

students with genuine developmental disabilities. For those of us working in Special Education, like myself, this particular cheating strategy felt like a punch to the gut.

A new parenting approach has been identified as a new generation enters university and the workforce. “Helicopter” parents who hover over their kids have been replaced by a new brand of interference—“lawnmower” or “snowplow” parents. Not content to just excessively monitor their children and tell them what

climate change, artificial intelligence, religious tolerance and freedom, and rising populism. Of course parents worry about the future and want their child to thrive. But how on earth can they do so if they’ve been raised without experiencing struggle, risk or perseverance?

A child who has a path cleared for them can’t build resilience. Without resilience any challenges that sneak past the parents and reach the child will have a far greater negative impact to the child because they have no experience handling adversity.

SUMMER FUN FOR EVERYONE! Camps in Victoria for kids ages 5-15 Passion Sports Basketball Circus Circus STEAM SISA Soccer

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A limited number of bursaries are available. Visit our website for information on these and other programs at www.smus.ca/summer or call the Education Extension Office 250-370-6120 SMUS Island Parent May 2019 1/2 page.indd 1

16 Island Parent Magazine

2019-04-18 3:11 PM

IslandParent.ca

Lawnmower/Snowplow parenting is bad for kids. Instead, we need to teach our children to be honest and hardworking. They need to know that there are absolutely no short-cuts. They will need to be taught and encouraged to care about those in our community who are less fortunate. They will need to deeply and authentically understand that every single person is equal in value and worth and that everyone has the capacity to contribute to the greater good. Our kids will need to become “integrity-enriched adult problem-solvers” in order to meet the greatest demands that any generation has had to meet.

To do this, they need to experience challenges and learn how to bounce back after they fail. Growing up is about learning to continuously adapt to new and more difficult situations. When parents deprive their children of opportunities to practice these skills, their parenting is actually detrimental to their kids. In fact, what they are communicating is: “I do not think you are capable of handling this on your own.”

How can you step back and let your child learn that they are capable? Whenever possible, give them authentic and meaningful opportunities to make decisions. You can start when kids are young by letting them decide what to wear; older ones can choose which restaurants to go to for family meals. If your child isn’t used to having choice, you can ease into the sharing of power by limiting the possibilities to two to three choices— “Do you want to do this or that?”—and gradually empower them to make more decisions of increasing importance.

Whether or not your children are aware of the bribing scandal, the topic provides an opportunity for you to pause and consider, in a non-judgmental way, whether you have any lawnmower parent tendencies. It’s also an excellent reminder to check in with your kids and have a discussion about integrity and your family’s values. The world will never be a fair place, but we can raise our children to not only strive for a great life, but also to earn it.

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Dr. Jillian Roberts is a child psychologist, UVic professor and mother. She is the CEO and Founder of FamilySparks and the author of Kids, Sex and Screens: Raising Strong, Resilient Children in the Sexualized Digital Age. IslandParent.ca

May 2019 17

What Lies Behind Lying

W

e’re all guilty of white lies, so how do you talk to your children about

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18 Island Parent Magazine

lying?

By nature, small children are inherently honest—they tell it like it is which is why they are so endearing. Ask a young child a question requiring an honest answer, and you’re apt to receive a brutally honest answer.

What happens along the way then that causes children to resort to lying?

Well, they have to reach a certain level of maturity to understand the difference between truth and fabrication for one thing. And once they know that difference, it can be a slippery slope to the telling of falsehoods. We’ve all heard a child use the excuse—“I have a tummy ache…” when faced with doing something they don’t want to do or going somewhere they don’t want to go (when you know they feel perfectly fine). And of course, “the dog ate my homework” is a classic lie in terms of homework assignments (although as a teacher in my previous career, I did have one student bring in the remnants of his shredded homework assignment).

Children are pretty predictable though.

Essentially they lie for one of two reasons: to avoid punishment or to get what they want. I was raised in the generation of “spare the rod; spoil the child” and I’m here to tell you that we often did anything to avoid a spanking. If that meant throwing a sibling under the bus, we did so without a second thought. Or if it meant the telling of a fib, it rolled off our tongue without so much as the blink of an eye. After all, in the face of harsh physical punishment, lying was a simple form of self-preservation.

Even if punishments are not physical in nature, but there is a high level of negative emotion associated with them, for example, anger or shame, a child will naturally want to avoid them at all costs and lying is one way to do so.

Even when there is no punishment involved as in the case when a parent simply wants to get to the bottom of something, some children will still re-

sort to lying because they genuinely do not want to disappoint or upset their parent(s). In this case, their motives are honorable even if their lying is not!

Understandably, if a child wants something badly enough, they may “dance around the truth.” We see this when children stretch the truth, or lie by way of omission, or tell a half-truth. In some instances, they may even go so far as to come up with an outright, bald-face lie

to get what they want. And despite being caught red-handed, they may stick to their lie no matter what. They can be standing on a stool at the kitchen counter with their hand in the cookie jar, and yet, they’ll adamantly deny they’re getting a cookie. Sometimes it’s hard for parents to keep a straight face in those situations!

And then there are those children who take lying to a whole new level when they use it as a deliberate form of manipulation. Such children are often highly intelligent and they clue in early on that lying can be a useful tool to achieve a desired result. These are the children who lie for the express purpose of getting someone in trouble or they may deliberately play one parent against the other. Unfortunately, this behaviour can become habit forming if not addressed.

So how do you allow your children to get what they want (some of the time) and avoid unpleasant punishments or consequences? As with most things in IslandParent.ca

life, I’m certain there is no easy answer to this question. And I’m sure what might work for one child, may not for another.

One thing I wish I had done with my own children though, and in fact, I now routinely employ with my little grandson, is the art of negotiation and compromise.

These are valuable skills that prepare children for the real world because there will be times when they cannot get exactly what they want, when they want it. This doesn’t mean employing these tactics all of the time, of course—there are certain things that are simply nonnegotiable, but by allowing children some role in decision making, however small, they are bound to feel a measure of control. And with such control, it makes sense that children will be less likely to lie—they don’t need to.

I also wish I had allowed my own children a say in their punishments, for again, I believe that by doing so, children learn a valuable lesson in terms of selfregulating their own behaviour. Without the fear of harsh punishments or emotional turmoil looming over a child, and a say in the consequences of their actions, it only seems reasonable that they will resort less to lying.

Perhaps the greatest impact we can have on our children and grandchildren in terms of lying, however, is to model appropriate behaviour. That’s a tall order because, in doing so, we must pay deliberate attention to our own patterns of behaviour. And let’s face it; lying can be easier than telling the truth sometimes, especially when it comes to white lies.

After all, no one wants to hurt another person’s feelings—“Yes, as a matter of fact, you do look fat in that dress…” It takes a lot more effort to deflect a truthful answer—so maybe “How do you feel in that dress?”—or to provide constructive criticism, “Let’s just take a look at what else you have in your closet.”

Since becoming a grandmother, I have made a conscious effort to avoid the white lies I might otherwise be tempted to tell. Children, even young ones, are very astute and make no bones about holding an adult up to the same standards they are expected to abide by.

So it’s time to practice what I preach.

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connecting children to nature

Susan Gnucci is a local author and a proud “nonna” to an adorable four-year-old grand-son.

She enjoys sharing her experiences as a first-time grandparent.

IslandParent.ca

May 2019 19

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Get Ready for the Parade C

elebrate Victoria Day with your family at the 121st Victoria Day Parade on Monday, May 20.

To prepare your preschooler before the parade, read the entertaining book The Aunts come Marching by Bill Richardson. This is a sing-along counting book as well as a great introduction to the musical instruments of the marching band. Bill Richardson is a well-known columnist and former CBC host and his book is a wacky, clever take on a popular campfire song.

The zany aunts come marching into the family’s house with all kinds of musical instruments and loud sounds. The illustrations are bright and colourful as you encounter “Dainty Dot with her big bass drum,” “Piccolo Pat” with “Sousaphone Sue” and other hilarious aunts who march around the house making music.

For older children, Making Music: 6 Instruments You Can Create by Eddie Herschel Oates is an excellent how-to book that will lure young readers to construct their own musical instruments. Simple directions tempt kitchen-table musicians into trying their hand at making a variety of musical instruments from ordinary household items. Make a balloon tom-tom drum, a wrench xylophone, a garden-hose trumpet, a spoon roarer, xylo-drum, and a singing sitar. Kids will enjoy marching around with their new homemade instruments.

The Victoria Day Parade promotes community spirit by celebrating things that make Victoria special. It is an exciting family-friendly event and it’s open to everyone in the community and beyond. As well, the parade makes great photo ops and great memories.

Jerri Carson is a retired music teacher. She now spends her time playing the piano and cello.

May 2019 21

Community Board Making our Community a Better Place to Live Art Gallery of Greater Victoria aggv.ca Camp Pringle CampPringle.com Lindsay Trowell, Counsellor & Parenting Specialist lindsaytrowell.com

is There A N A PPF o r Thi s ?

The Birds & the Trees A mother’s legacy

“M

ama! My bug friend!” My three-year-old son points gleefully at the insect slowly crawling across the window screen. It is, in fact, a leptoglossus occidentalis (Western conifer seed bug). We started noticing them on the windows and vinyl siding last summer and his curiosity prompted me to look it up (nope, not poisonous). We’ve started doing this whenever we see something in nature that we can’t identify, not just to satisfy my over-protective streak, but because I firmly believe that naming things is important. If

especially the little rufous hummingbirds that arrive in B.C. each spring—but I also learned early on about chickadees, nuthatches, towees, juncos, and different types of woodpeckers. Back then there was no Internet, so my mom’s knowledge formed the basis of mine.

Did I always love this? Well, there were definitely some teenage eye-rolls, as I’m sure my son will give me one day: “Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever, Mom.” But Mom continued to speak of nature with the same love and detail, regardless of my reaction. Like it or

we can identify what something is, it gives it more value—we are more likely to notice it and appreciate it in the future. This is a gift my mother passed on to me, and I am trying my best to pass it on to my son.

I have vivid memories of the walks Mom and I took when I was little. She named practically every flower we saw: rhododendrons, Lily of the Valley, chrysanthemums, marigolds, etc. I would roll these exotic pronunciations around on my tongue as we walked.

Mom also has a keen eye for birds and keeps a running commentary about the activity at her backyard feeders. Hummingbirds were and still are her favourite—

not, she drew my attention to the smell of lilacs on the spring breeze, the call of redwinged blackbirds, and those ubiquitous little ants feasting on the nectar of peony buds. Once she pointed these things out, I noticed them more.

As an adult, being in nature and appreciating the beauty and diversity all around me is an ever-ready panacea—nature is where I go to heal, to reconnect with the world and with myself. At first glance nature can seem chaotic, a wildness of not-knowing.

But then I will see something I can identify and it’s like little spotlights of knowledge start to light up. As my familiarity increases, so to does my comfort and sense of peace.

Mothering Touch motheringtouch.ca Phoenix Theatre phoenixtheatres.ca Royal BC Museum royalbcmuseum.bc.ca Victoria Children’s Choir VictoriaChildrensChoir.ca Victoria Conservatory of Music vcm.bc.ca Enquire about brochure or magazine distribution in Greater Victoria:

sales@islandparent.ca 22 Island Parent Magazine

IslandParent.ca

Mom also taught me to attune to nature’s rhythms. She speaks often of the seasons, the cycles of the moon, and the weather (I don’t know where she gets her forecasts from, but she’s always bang on!). Because she spoke about this while I was growing up, I’ve internalized it, just like the names of flora and fauna.

I amaze myself everyday with knowledge that has lain dormant in the deepest recesses of my brain. Once tucked away as being “uncool” while I focused on friends and other kinds of entertainment, this information now tumbles forth—when we walk around the neighbourhood, play in the yard, hike through the woods, or explore the beach. I hear myself naming flowers or birds and it is like my mother’s voice is speaking through me.

We live in disconnected times. Yes, we are digitally “connected,” often 24/7, but we are more physically separated from each other and our planet than at any other time in history. I hear so many parents complain about how much time their kids spend indoors, especially when it’s beautiful weather.

“Nature” has become an abstract concept for a lot of city dwellers, and when we think of something in this way, as apart from ourselves, it becomes a lot harder to remember to care for it.

I realize how fortunate I am to have parents who encouraged and fostered a love of nature in me, passing on their knowledge about plants and animals as we spent time together outdoors. I understand not everyone had the same experience. But you can give it to your kids. This column is called, “Is There and App for This?” In this case — for identifying natural phenomena—yes, yes, there is. There are lots of them. Some of them are even free!

There is an outdoor preschool in our area that my son will attend in the fall, a place where nature is celebrated in all of its manifestations. A lot of schools are starting to incorporate more outdoors-type programs, too. This is wonderful, but I think that, as with most mindsets and habits, the love of and curiosity about nature starts at home.

It starts as simply noticing, wondering, and identifying.

My mother has given me many gifts, for which I am so very grateful, and her love of nature is one of the most important—a legacy I am now passing down to my son.

Kelly McQuillan is a writer, musician, teacher, and fledgling mother living in Comox, BC. kellymcquillanwriter.weebly.com.

IslandParent.ca

May 2019 23

MayFamilyCalendar For more information and calendar updates throughout the month visit IslandParent.ca

1 Wednesday Starlight Skate 6:30pm at Nanaimo Ice Centre Come out and enjoy the soft light “stars” and passive LED glow lights. A great time for families after dinner. Regular admission.

2 Thursday

General; $10/ Student and Senior, $25/Family.

Friday 8pm; Saturday 2pm. allegrasingers.ca/concerts

Kids Fun Swim 1pm at Cowichan Aquatic Centre 2653 James Street Let the kids burn off some energy.

Coast Capital Free Skate Greater Victoria Performing Arts 4:15pm at Cliff McNabb Arena, Nanaimo Festival Four Section Highlights Concert Skate and helmet rentals included. Free.

7pm at Philip T Young Recital Hall, UVic Features musicians from the Woodwinds, Guitar, Brass and Composition sections. Free. gvpaf.org | 250-386-9223

Greater Victoria Performing Arts Festival Speech & Dramatic Arts Highlights 7:30pm at Cadboro Bay United Church A night drama, poetry and prose, as students from around Victoria take the stage. gvpaf.org | 250-386-9223

3 Friday DigiLab: Advisory Group 4pm at Esquimalt Branch Library Recommend new equipment for DigiLab and plan a program while logging volunteer hours and developing leadership skills. For ages 13-18. Free. gvpl.ca

3/4 Friday/SaturdaY Allegra Singers Spring Concert

Youth Week Teen Swim 7pm at Ravensong Aquatic Centre, Qualicum Beach Celebrate with a wild, wet and active swim with friends. For youth 13-18 years. Free. rdn.bc.ca/recreation

Greater Victoria Performing Arts Festival Junior Piano & Junior Strings Highlights Concert 2:30pm at Philip T Young Recital Hall, UVic Join us as some of our youngest performers take the stage! This concert features junior students from the Piano and Strings sections of the Greater Victoria Performing Arts Festival. gvpaf.org | 250-386-9223

DigiLab: Star Wars Droids 3pm at Central Branch Library Celebrate Star Wars Day at the library. Build or program a droid using DigiLab’s littleBits and Spheros in this teen-led program. For ages 13-18. gvpl.ca

Greater Victoria Performing Arts Festival Vocal Highlights Concert 7pm at Philip T Young Recital Hall, UVic A night of Classical Voice and Musical Theatre, as performers from around Victoria take the stage. gvpaf.org | 250-386-9223

4 Saturday Mystery Creature 10am at Mill Hill Regional Park Solve the clues along the trail to discover who the mystery creature is with a CRD Regional Parks naturalist. Is it a bird? A mammal? It’s up to you to solve the mystery. crd.bc.ca/parks | 250-478-3344

Spring Fair 9:30am at St John’s United Church Gardens 10990 West Saanich Rd Vendors, baking, tea area, live music and silent auction. Maypole dance, craft tables and games.

Family Sport & Recreation Festival

“Hello Spring” Craft Market

11am at Pacific Institute for Sport Excellence Over 30 activities for kids and families to try.

Learn more about keeping kids engaged in healthy activity. Free.

PISE.ca/family-sport-rec-festival

10 am at Nanaimo District Secondary School 355 Wakesiah Ave Bring the family to Nanaimo-Ladysmith School’s Foundation’s spring craft market. 90+ vendors.

Food trucks, children’s activity, gift basket raffles. nlsf.ca

Oak Bay United Church, 1355 Mitchell St Retro favourites from the 50s, 60s and 70s. $12/

YOUTH Battle of the Bands

the

ROCK RINK SATURDAY, JUNE 1

7-10:30pm • Doors @ 6:30pm JUAN DE FUCA REC CENTRE • 1767 ISLAND HWY, VICTORIA

F�n� �u� m��� 250-478-8384 | westshorerecreation.ca 24 Island Parent Magazine

IslandParent.ca

Ants on Parade 10am at Beban Park Participark Ant crafts, experiments and more. Parent participation required. 3-6 years.

Youth Week Dive-In Movie 3pm at Nanaimo Aquatic Centre Celebrate Youth Week by watching the movie “Spiderman: Into the Universe” in the pool. Everyone welcome. Regular admission.

Mount Horne Guided Hike 8am at Ravensong Aquatic Centre Hike from the spectacular Cathedral Grove. This tour will take you through man-made and natural elements that show the history of the area. rdn.bc.ca/recreation

The Great Garage Sale 9am at Oceanside Place Arena Clean out your attic and sell no longer needed items. The arena will be transformed into a giant flea market. Free. rdn.bc.ca/recreation

5 Sunday Iron Mine Bay Walk 10am at East Sooke Regional Park Join a CRD Regional Parks naturalist on this superb walk along Pike Road Trail to the spectacular Iron Mine Bay. Meet at the kiosk in the parking lot off Pike Rd. 5+ years. Free. crd.bc.ca/parks | 250-478-3344

Saanich Cycling Festival 11am at Saanich Municipal Hall Explore Saanich by Bike. Includes community Celebration Stations where you can collect stamps on your event map. Start your journey at the Celebration Station closest to you. Free. saanich.ca

6 Monday Greater Victoria Performing Arts Festival School Dance Highlights Concert 7pm at Dave Dunnet Theatre 2121 Cadboro Bay Rd A night of dance, as studios from around Victoria take the stage. $15/Adult; $12/Senior/Student/ Child (5 and under free). gvpaf.org | 250-386-9223

7 Tuesday Emergency Preparedness Workshop 1pm at Cook St Village Activity Centre Are you and your family prepared for an emergency such as a power outage, winter storm, earthquake or tsunami?

VictoriaReady.ca | 250-920-3373

Middle & Senior School Admissions Info Session 6pm at Glenlyon Norfolk School, 801 Bank St Meet with members of the GNS Admissions Office to learn all about GNS, the IB curriculum, our cocurricular offerings and other key features of the GNS experience.

250-370-6801 | admissions@mygns.ca

Greater Victoria Performing Arts Festival Ethnic Dance & Fiddle Highlights Concert 7pm at Philip T Young Recital Hall, UVic Music and dance from around the world. $12/ Adult; $8/Senior/Student/Child (5 and under free). gvpaf.org | 250-386-5311

8

Wednesday

Greater Victoria Performing Arts Festival Strings Highlights Concert 7pm at Philip T Young Recital Hall, UVic An evening of music. $12/Adult; $8/Senior/Student/Child (5 and under free). gvpaf.org | 250-386-9223

She’s in Nature Guided Hike 10am at Nile Creek Approximately 6kms of winding forest trail though large maples, fir and cedar, mostly near a salmon spawning stream. The trail ends with a sequence of several high falls twisting through a narrow gorge. Walking poles are helpful in some uphill areas. $18/person. rdn.bc.ca/recreation

Moorecroft Regional Park Tour 3pm at Moorecroft Regional Park An RLC Park naturalist will show you trails, unique aspects and opportunities in some of the regions’ best natural areas. Great for both newcomers and those familiar with the park. $12/person. rdn.bc.ca/recreation

9 Thursday Junior School Admissions Info Session 6pm at Glenlyon Norfolk School, 1701 Beach Dr Meet with members of the GNS Admissions Office to learn all about GNS, the IB curriculum, our cocurricular offerings and other key features of the GNS experience.

250-370-6801 | admissions@mygns.ca

ACTIVITY GUIDE MAY – AUGUST 2019

Summer camps are where we make friends, be inspired and shape who we become.

This summer it’s time to grow.

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250-478-8384 | westshorerecreation.ca May 2019 25

Science Spotlight Kids’ Workshop 4:30pm at Oceanside Place Arena What will happen when you mix baking soda and vinegar? Is that volcano going to erupt? For 3-7 year olds. $12/person. rdn.bc.ca/recreation

10 Friday BBB Community Shredding Event 10am at Tillicum Centre/Old Navy Parking Lot Bring up to 5 bags or boxes of confidential paper documents, per person, for shredding by donation. onations for shredding services will be given to HeroWork for their Radical Renovation Projects. bbb.org

Pro D Day Swim 1:30pm at Panorama Recreation Bring your family and friends for swimming fun and music. $2/person panoramarecreation.ca

PJ Party at Teen Lounge 6pm at Panorama Recreation Grab a blanket or sleeping bag and pull on your favourite pajamas for pj party complete with games, activities and treats. For grades 6-9. panoramarecreation.ca

11 Saturday Feelin’ Out Frogs 10am at Elk/Beaver Lake Regional Park Spring is in full swing, and so are the frogs. Join a CRD Regional Parks naturalist in exploring the fabulous lives of the frogs that live in Elk/Beaver Lake, incluiding their songs, their lifecycle, and their adaptations. crd.bc.ca/parks | 250-478-3344

10/11 Friday/Saturday The Montessori Journey 7pm at Selkirk Montessori 2970 Jutland Rd. Keynote speaker Dr. Angeline Stoll Lilard, author of “Montessori: The Science Behind the Genius.”

Tickets available at EventBrite. $15/person.

12 Sunday

bucket drumming and a relay course incorporation varied instruments. saanich.ca | 250-475-7107

Learn to Fish 1pm at Colliery Dam, Nanaimo Join the Freshwater Fisheries Society of BC and learn the basics of freshwater fishing. Fishing rods provided. Rain or shine. Parent participation required. 5-15 years. Free.

Beginner Birding Basics

Mommy & Me & Toys & Tumbles

10am at Witty’s Lagoon Regional Park This is a great time of year for birding as courtship and territory disputes fill the air with song.

Join a CRD Regional Parks naturalist to learn what to look for, and how to use binoculars and field guides. Bring binoculars if you have them. crd.bc.ca/parks | 250-478-3344

9am at Greenglade Community Centre Free admission for moms and their preschooler.

Limited space available. panoramarecreation.ca

Family Drumming Discovery

1pm at Cowichan Aquatic Centre 2653 James Street Let the kids burn off some energy.

11am at Gordon Head Recreation Centre Explore rhythm and drumming together! This interactive session combines listening, hands-on

Ongoing:

15 Wednesday Kids Fun Swim

Preschool

Family Storytime Greater Victoria Public Libraries Fun-filled stories, songs, rhymes and puppets. For young children and their families; children under 3 must be accompanied by an adult. Drop-in until May 18. gvpl.ca

Stay & Play Greater Victoria Public Libraries Enjoy social time and free play following Family Storytime. For young children and their families; children under 3 must be accompanied by an adult. Drop-in until May 18. gvpl.ca

Kids Mega Sale

Baby Time

9:30am at Pearkes Rec Centre Gently used baby and children’s clothing, toys, equipment and maternity. Free. facebook.com/KidsMegaSale

Greater Victoria Public Libraries Learn songs, rhymes and fingerplays to use with your baby every day. For babies 0-15 months and parent or caregiver. Drop-in until May 17. gvpl.ca

Oaklands Street Party

Kindergym Drop-In

Noon at Haultain Corners Food trucks, live music, beer garden and activities. Free. oaklandscommunitycentre.com

10am at Gordon Head Recreation Centre, 4100 Lambrick Way Tuesday, Thursdays & Saturdays. A movement program designed for children and their caregiver to play together. Balls, hoops, ride-on toys, climbers and mats allow children to creatively explore.

Songs and circle time. saanich.ca

Duck Day at the Flats 11am at Sooke River Flats, 2259 Philips Rd 2700 rubber ducks are launched at noon into the Sooke River at the Sooke Harbourside. Hot dog concession, games, bouncy castle, face painting and more. Proceeds go to local charities. Duck tickets: $5 or $20/5.

26 Island Parent Magazine

LaFF Mornings Mondays 9:30am–noon at Aggie Hall, Ladysmith Play-based learning stations to explore and enjoy, including a reading centre, craft area, Brio train table, snack table and more. Meet other parents, health and social service providers.

250-210-0870

IslandParent.ca

swim. The lifeguards will have the toys out for a splashing good time. Reduced rate admission. rdn.bc.ca/recreation

Red Cross Emergency First Aid with AED/CPR 9am at Qualicum Commons Be prepared and get trained in first aid skills.

Training includes home hazards, accident prevention, safety education, CPR, first aid skills for common emergencies and automated external defibrillators (AED). rdn.bc.ca/recreation

Transitioning Youth Resource Fair

Geology Tour

4:30pm at Wellington Secondary School Display tables and community resource providers will be there to answer any questions and help you explore your future. For youth and young adults with disabilities and their families.

9am at Nanoose Bay Join Dr. Steven Earle for an interpretive tour on the beaches of Nanoose Bay. Learn identification techniques and a bit about the island’s geological history. Transportation from Oceanside Place at 9am or Nanoose Place at 9:30am. $29/person. rdn.bc.ca/recreation

16 THursday National Life Jacket Day 7pm at Nanaimo Aquatic Centre Learn how to use a life jacket safely, and enter your name for a chance to win a new life jacket.

Regular admission.

17 Friday School’s Out Swim 1pm at Ravensong Aquatic Centre Stay active on your day off from school with a

oNgoiNg:

Children

Museum Tots

Saturdays 11am at Maritime Museum 634 Humboldt St , Victoria A weekly program introducing children 2-5 to the fun world of museum learning. New theme each week, allowing children to learn through crafts, play, games, song, and dance.

250-385-4222

Here at Sutubra Naturals & Organics, we bring you nothing but the best quality baby and child products for every day use.

We carry many external remedies that can help calm restlessness and sooth common skin irritations. We also have many products for all ages including water based nail polish for little ones and relaxing natural bath and spa products for mom and dad. Come into our store today and grab your favourite brands for the whole family!

Located at Hillside Shopping Centre (N. Dairy Rd. Entrance)

www.sutubrabeauty.com | 250-999-8038 | naturalbeautyvic@gmail.com IslandParent.ca

May 2019

27

18 Saturday

Splish Splash Swim

Digilab: DigiCamp 11am at James Bay Branch Library Volunteers are invited to attend a full day of training and working on creative projects. Snacks included but please bring a lunch. Ages 13-18. Free. gvpl.ca

Ongoing:

10am at Ravensong Aquatic Centre A water adventure you don’t want to miss. The lifeguards will bring out the pool toys for everyone to enjoy. Regular admission. rdn.bc.ca/recreation

Mount Benson Guided Hike 8am at Mount Benson Start your journey up the mountain on the floating boardwalk at Witchcraft Lake. Climb steadily up rough forest trail to the peak and be rewarded with stunning panoramic views of Nanaimo, Sunshine Coast and Washington State. rdn.bc.ca/recreation

Youth

Youth Week May 1-7 in Nanaimo Celebrate youth with workshops, skating, swimming and more.

Facebook.com/YOUthNanaimo

17/18 Friday/Saturday

Youth Week

Alice in Wonderland

May 1-7 in Parksville A week on interaction and celebration intended to build a strong connection between young people and their communities. visit rdn.bc.ca/recreation.

At Royal Theatre, 805 Broughton St Expect the unexpected for this brand new creation that will warm your heart and brighten your day. Tickets starting at $30. Fri: 7:30pm; Sat: 2pm. rmts.bc.ca/events/alice-in-wonderland2019-royal-theatre | 250-380-6063

Toonie Teen Swim 7-9pm at Ravensong Aquatic Centre, Parksville The pool is reserved for the teens! $2 until June 28.

19 Sunday Family Sunday 2pm at Art Gallery of Greater Victoria Get ready for more family fun. An afternoon of exploring hands-on-art making and ideas. aggv.ca

Not Just for the Birds 1pm at Miner’s Cottage Jinglepot Entrance to Buttertubs Use binoculars to help spot and identify birds.

Learn about the most common local species and create a pine cone feeder to take home to encourage birds to visit your back yard.

Glow in the Dark Skate 3pm at Cliff McNabb Arena Skate in an atmosphere of dimmed lighting and special effects. Regular admission.

22 Wednesday Emergency Preparedness Workshop 7pm at Victoria City Hall, Antechamber Learn about the hazards that can affect Victoria, what to include in your emergency kits, how to protect your home from an earthquake, and how to reunite with loved ones after a disaster.

VictoriaReady.ca | 250-920-3373

SUMMER CAMPS Come spend your summer with the Vikes!

Develop skills, meet new friends, explore creativity and experience exciting activities in a fun, safe and positive environment.

RECREATION SPORT DEVELOPMENT HIGH PERFORMANCE CLIMBING & OUTDOOR Presented by

28 Island Parent Magazine

Supported by

Register now! vikescamps.com IslandParent.ca

Ongoing:

Family

Garry Oak Meadow Marathon Sundays 1-3pm at Cattle Point, Victoria Rip out those invasive aliens to help the 11 struggling rare plants on Cattle Point.

250-595-8084

Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Support Circles

Hiking Information Session

Learn to Fish

6:30pm at Oceanside Place Arena Have you ever wanted to explore some of the area’s beautiful mountains? A local alpine guide shares tips and resources for family adventures and avid hikers. rdn.bc.ca/recreation

10:30am at Long Lake (Louden Park) Join the Freshwater Fisheries Society of BC and learn the basics of freshwater fishing. Fishing rods provided. Rain or shine. Parent participation required. 5-15 years. Free.

25 Saturday Annual Spring Book Sale

A safe, supportive place to meet others in a similar situation and to share information and resources. parentsupportbc.ca | 250-384-8042

10am at St. Aidan’s United Church 3703 St. Aidan’s St Hundreds of books. Thrift shop also open.

Parent Support Circles

1pm at Horth Hill Regional Park Check out this delightful park at the tip of the Saanich Peninsula. Along with a CRD Regional Parks naturalist, discover the plants at your feet, the birds over your head, and great views from the top. crd.bc.ca/parks | 250-478-3344

Parenting isn’t always easy. Sometimes it helps to talk things through with other parents. parentsupportbc.ca | 250-384-8042

Drop-In Science Studio Tuesdays 3–4:30pm at NS3 Science Studio #101–4355 Jingle Pot Rd, Nanaimo Build Lego creations, then program them to move using drag and drop software. Students can also explore the many hands-on science exhibits and experiments. nanaimoscience.org

Silly Spiders 10am at Linley Valley Parking Lot Explore the amazing world of spiders. Learn what they eat, the types of webs they spin, and why they do it. Parent participation required. 3-6 years. $8/person.

Horth Hill Highlights

Asian Heritage Month: Mandarin Seeds 2:30pm at Nellie McClung Branch Library Enjoy a fun and interactive storytime in Mandarin and make a craft. For young children and their families. gvpl.ca

Family Frolics

She’s in Nature Guided Hike

5:45pm at Frank Jameson Community Centre 810 6th Ave, Ladysmith Drop in right after work to burn off some energy and get ready for bed. Play with balls and tunnels, run around and meet a new friend. For children 0-6 years 250-210-0870

11am at Bonnell Creek Falls Explore the scenic waterfalls nestled in this quiet area. Trail is approximately 6kms with steep descents assisted by a rope to view the falls. rdn.bc.ca/recreation

26 Sunday

The James Bay Community Market

Selkirk Waterfront Festival

Qualicum Beach Family Day

9am, corner of Menzies and Superior St An open air, rain or shine market operating on the corner of Menzies and Superior in James Bay every Saturday, May to September from 9am-3pm. Free. jamesbaymarket.com | 250-381-5323

10am at Selkirk Green Park, Waterfront Cresc Enjoy activities in the Family FUN Zone, world cuisine in the international food court, and unique arts and crafts in our colourful street market. Live music, mainstage entertainment and more. Free. burnsidegorge.ca

10am at Ravensong Aquatic Centre Enjoy a swim as part of Qualicum Beach Family Day activities. Maximum pool capacity is 160 swimmers. Free. rdn.bc.ca/recreation

Lions Swim

Community Dinner & Games Night

Sundays 2-3:30pm at Beban Pool, Nanaimo Enjoy a swim, sauna, soak in the hot tub, or the steam room. Until June 30th. recreation.nanaimo.ca

5:30pm at Oaklands Community Centre Meet your neighbours, share a meal, play cards and board games. All ages welcome. By donation. oaklandscommunitycentre.com

Golden Shoe Hunt, Parksville

Bee Day

11am at Panorama Recreation Children and their families are invited to get behind the wheel and explore trucks of all kinds, including firetrucks, police cars, excavators, dump trucks and more. team4hope.com

The 13th Annual Golden Shoe Hunt will have you exploring the regional and community parks in the electoral area A to H to find the hidden shoe. Clues and instructions for the locations of the shoes will be posted weekly to rdn.bc.ca until May 17.

Noon at Swan Lake Christmas Hill Nature Sanctuary A honey of a program fit for the royalty of the insect world. What’s the buzz about bees? How can we encourage bees in our backyards? By donation. swanlake.bc.ca

IslandParent.ca

Touch a Truck

31 Friday Coast Capital Free Swim 7pm at Beban Park Pool Free admission to pool; weight room not included. recreation.nanaimo.ca May 2019 29

Co o K I N GW ITH K I Ds

1 cucumber 2 spring onions 4 Tbsp olive oil 2 Tbsp cider vinegar 1 tsp Dijon mustard 1 tsp salt (or more to taste) 1⁄2 cup crumbled feta cheese

reasons to love lentils

I

• If you aren’t sure about adding lentils f you are looking for a way to get more vegetarian protein choices into your diet, to your diet, start with red lentils. They can then why not try lentils? They are very be stirred into most soups and stews and versatile and easy to add to most any dish. will completely disappear as they cook. No one will ever know if you add a ¼ cup of red lentils to a pot of chili or tomato sauce.

Reasons to love lentils: • They are super healthy for you. High in fiber, iron and other vitamins and minerals. Sprouted Lentil Salad • Lentils are lower in starch and have Lentils are so easy to sprout—which is more protein than beans. a perfect, kid-friendly activity. Lentils only • Dried lentils don’t need soaking, so they take 2 to 3 days to sprout nice long tails, and are a really easy and affordable protein. it is fun to watch them grow. The trick is to • Dried lentils are quick to prepare. They select whole dried lentils (not red lentils). only take 15 minutes to cook.

Try a mixture of French, green and brown • To avoid the gassiness associated with lentils. Mung beans are also a variety of beans, simply soak lentils overnight before lentil that can be sprouted and eaten raw. cooking.

• Unlike sprouted beans, lentils are safe 1 cup of dried lentils to eat raw.

2 tomatoes

1. Soak the lentils in water for 6–10 hours.

2. Place the lentils in a strainer and set out on a plate on the kitchen counter or in a cupboard. You don’t want them to be in direct sunlight, as the sun makes them bitter.

3. Rinse the lentils by running tap water over them, twice a day for 2–3 days until they have sprouted. At this point the lentils can be stored in a container in the fridge for another two days, but it’s best if they are eaten right away.

4. When you are ready to make the salad, start by dicing the tomatoes, cucumber and spring onions into bite-sized pieces.

5. Rinse the sprouts thoroughly.

6. Mix the olive oil, vinegar, mustard and salt in the bottom of a large bowl. Then add the vegetables and sprouts, mixing to combine. Top with the crumbled feta.

7. This salad can be eaten right away, however, it is best if made in advance so the flavours can mix.

Lentil Taco Filling

Brown lentils make a quick and cheap taco filling. This flavourful alternative to refried beans is popular at our house. Tacos are a fun dinner that everyone enjoys. Have kids help with grating cheese, chopping tomatoes and lettuce for the tacos, while you prepare the filling.

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1 cup of dried lentils (brown or green work best) 1⁄2 diced onion 4 cloves of garlic 1⁄2 green pepper 1⁄2 tsp ground cumin 1 Tbsp chili powder (or sweet paprika) 1⁄2 tsp ground coriander 3 Tbsp of tomato paste 1⁄2 tsp oregano 1⁄2 tsp salt 1. Boil the lentils until soft (about 15 min).

When they are cooked, drain and set aside.

2. While the lentils cook, start on the rest of the filling by dicing the onion, garlic and green pepper.

3. Heat a frying pan on medium and sauté the diced vegetables until soft.

Victoria’s favourite dentists believe a healthy smile starts early. Free first visit for children under 5.

30

Island Parent Magazine

IslandParent.ca

4. Add the spices to the frying vegetables and cook until fragrant.

5. Then add the cooked lentils, along with the tomato paste, oregano and salt.

6. Mix well, then mash the lentils slightly, adding water as needed (about 2 Tbsp).

Sloppy Joes

Serving the Families of Vancouver Island for Over 23 Years The Kiddies Store

This Sloppy Joe recipe is a huge favourite in our house. It’s something that I regularly cook with my 10-year-old. Traditionally, sloppy joe filling is served on soft, white buns, but we like it on toast instead. Either way, it’s delicious!

Play House • Fits a standard crib size mattress (sold separately)

Sauce: 4 Tbsp vegetable oil 1 onion 4 cloves of garlic 2 cans of tomato paste (300 ml) 1 tsp basil 1 tsp oregano 1 tsp salt 1 tsp black pepper 11⁄2 tsp paprika (smokey is nice) 2 tbsp soy sauce

Emillie Parrish loves having adventures with her two busy children. She lives in Victoria and is the author of the fermentation-based blog fermentingforfoodies.com.

IslandParent.ca

• Frame sold separately from fabric • Dimensions: 54 x 3.5 x 52 in 3045–C Douglas St., Victoria, BC V8T 4N2 250-386-2229 www.tjskids.com

Finlayson St.

St.

1. Boil the lentils for 15 minutes until soft.

When they are cooked, drain and set aside.

2. Meanwhile, prepare the sauce by roughly chopping the onion, and putting it in a food processor or blender with all of the rest of the sauce ingredients. Let your kids help with blending everything together until it is a delicious and fragrant sauce. Set the sauce aside while you prepare the rest of the filling.

3. Finely dice the onion, green pepper and pickles.

4. Heat a saucepan on medium. Saute the onions until translucent. Lower the heat and add the peppers, pickles and the sauce.

5. Simmer for 15 minutes.

6. Add in the cooked lentils and simmer for another 5 minutes.

7. Serve 1⁄2 cup of sloppy joe filling over an open-faced dinner bun and enjoy the mess!

• Available in Black, Grey and Pink Triangles

Douglas

Filling: 1 Tbsp vegetable oil 1 onion 1 green bell pepper 6 dill pickles 1 cup brown lentils

• Available in a Full Fabric Cover or Roof Fabric Cover

Larch St.

Entrance off Larch St.

T.J.’S

HIGHLAND PACIFIC GOLF VICTORIA, BC

SportsCampsCanada.com | 1.844.464.5372 May 2019 31

DA D S PE A K

Arms & the Boy

O

ne afternoon during March Break, my son and I drove across town, parked along a side street and knocked on a stranger’s door. We were greeted by a man I’d met over the Internet.

“Leave your shoes on,” he insisted, as though we might need to leave in a hurry.

Across his dining room table were strewn a variety of guns: three automatic rifles, a pair of high-powered pistols, magazines of various sizes. “Do you need a duffel bag?” he asked. I nodded and asked if he wanted cash. Then we packed the guns into the trunk of our car.

We were ready, at last, for my son’s 13th birthday party.

Okay, before you dial 911 or Social Services, let me be clear: These were Nerf guns. Rented toys that shoot foam darts.

The kind with which every boy apparently dreams about chasing his friends, on the day he becomes a teenager.

Which my wife and I were fine with. Sort of. Maybe.

One day, every parent must sit down and have that tough conversation about the Gword. In Canada, “gun talk” doesn’t mean showing an eight-year-old how to chamber a round or explaining classroom hiding spots for “active shooter” drills. The news cycle of American school shootings has become a nightmare factory for modern parents.

No, our chat isn’t about real guns, but

32 Island Parent Magazine

rather simulations. Some families hold to Quaker-like principles and ban toy guns from their homes, yards and digital screens. Then there’s the rest of us.

For dads, our Maginot Line of best intentions gets overrun by boyish lobbying and nostalgic memories of our own favourite playground weapons.

But where do you draw the line? Water pistols are fine but a veto on projectile launchers? Yes to goofy space blasters but no to realistic replicas? Laser tag okay, but paintball and BB guns only when kids are old enough to drive?

At first, my wife and I took a laissez-faire (read: lazy) approach. We resisted buying our kids plastic weapons, but if they got a water pistol in a loot bag, that was fine.

Three Christmases ago, Santa delivered Nerf pistols. (You can’t deny the Big Guy!) Then our kids got larger Nerf rifles from their grandparents—who also get a pass on questionable gifts.

We set some ground rules. No sniping in the house. Protective eyewear during backyard battles. But still we wondered:

IslandParent.ca

Was our helicopter parenting hovering too low or too high?

I grew up with cap guns and suction-cup pistols as I play-acted Cops and Robbers or Kirks versus Klingons with my friends.

Make believe of this sort allows kids to enter creative zones and learn to negotiate their own rules of engagement outside adult authority.

Still, I sometimes worry about “dark play,” how our kids’ imaginations can be distorted by media messages and aggressive tendencies in our culture. Saying “It’s just boys being boys” makes sense…until they are no longer boys and it doesn’t. So many recent tragedies in the world seem to come from the loaded barrel of an angry young man.

But that’s not what I saw as my son and his friends charged around our yard during the sleepover party for his 13th birthday.

For hours, they hooted and dodged between appliance boxes that my son and I had spraypainted as cover. Rainbow darts whistled through the air until past nightfall.

It looked like so much fun that his little sister and I grabbed Nerf weapons and joined the battle the next morning. My neighbours were likely tempted to call the authorities by then, if only at the sight of a middle-aged man running around in his pyjamas, sniping at children with a hot-pink long bow, hollering with the memory of what it’s like to be a boy again.

David Leach is the Chair of UVic’s Department of Writing and the head coach of the Carnarvon Red Pandas.

Pick up your copy of the Island Parent

Kids’ Guide

Kids’ Guide attractions, activities & Family Fun

Attractions Activities Family Fun

on vancouver Island

VAN COU VER ISLA ND

Vancouver Island

CHILDREN'S CH S Book Festivall B Bo SATURDAY

JUNE 1ST Info & Tickets: www.bookfest.ca IslandParent.ca

May 2019

33

FamilyServicesDirectory The Family Services Directory features not for profit agencies and organizations serving children, youth and families

1Up, Victoria Single Parent Resource Centre (1-up.ca) provides support, education and resources for parents in the Greater Victoria area through free counselling, volunteer training, a mentoring program for single moms, and a support group for dads, as well as a variety of integrated life skills and parenting courses which are open to the whole community, with fees on a sliding scale. For single parent members, the Centre provides free toys and books, a clothing room and bread pantry. Donations of gently-used clothing, small household items, and toys are welcome. Hours: Mon., Tue., Thu., Fri.: 9–4, & Wednesdays: 12–7. Location: 602 Gorge Road East. Phone: 250-385-1114.

people with disabilities. For Home Support, please call 250-658-6407. For other programs: 250-6560134. beaconcs.ca.

Beacon Community Services Employment Programs. Beacon Community Services offers a full menu of employment services on the Saanich Peninsula and Gulf Islands. We’ve been helping people find work since 1982! Our programs build on a person’s strengths and resolve barriers to finding and keeping employment. We also work with our employer network to support job seekers. Need help finding a job? Need employees? Contact us for FREE assistance! 9860 Third St. Sidney. 250656-0134. beaconcs.ca.

Canucks Autism Network (CAN) provides yearround sports and recreation programs for children, youth, young adults, and families living with autism, while increasing awareness and providing training in communities across BC. Stay up-to-date on programs, registration dates and events in Nanaimo, Cowichan Valley, and Victoria by signing up for CAN’s Vancouver Island newsletter: canucksautism. ca/newsletter. CAN also provides training and accessibility resources for many sectors, including sport, recreation, first responders, schools, and Beacon Community Services is a communitybased, non-profit agency dedicated to helping Boys & Girls Club Services offer after-school community spaces. Learn about customized training people and improving lives on southern Vancouver and evening social, educational and recreational solutions: canucksautism.ca/training.

Island and the southern Gulf Islands. Beacon thrift programming for children and youth at 5 locations shops fund important LOCAL community services (Colwood, Langford, VicWest, Central Saanich and and programs. Beacon also offers: child, youth and Esquimalt) and summer camps both in Esquimalt family services (including the Peninsula Early Years and at our Outdoor Centre in Metchosin. We also ofCentre and child care); counselling; employment fer support to parents through our Parents Together services and training for people of all ages; home program and parent workshops. For more informasupport care; volunteer services and opportunities; tion on all programs and services visit bgcvic.org or Dialogue and Resolution Services (DRS) helps affordable housing/care/supports for seniors and call 250-384-9133. people improve relationships through facilitating empathic communication in a safe, impartial and FamilyServicesprofile collaborative manner. We work with individuals, families, parents, co-workers, neighbours, community organizations, governments and those leaving incarceration. We continue to strive for equity and increased cultural competency, through life-long learning. DRS assists diverse clients to create lasting, effective solutions that support healthy connection and build community. For affordable, ethical, professional service, find us at 250-383-4412 or dialogueandresolutionservices.ca.

ICA Summer Camps

At the Inter-Cultural Association, our summer camps focus on four pillars—learning, fun, community, and friendship. During our week-long camps for youth aged 7–14 years old, we spend time reinforcing these pillars to support the community we build with the newcomer youth who attend our programs. Our programs have found great successes providing creative opportunities for youth to explore their hearts, minds and bodies. From strawberry picking in Saanich, making community culture quilts, doing photography scavenger hunts or singing calypso music with local musicians, our programs offer a wide range of opportunities to learn about their wider community as well.

Families are so much more than just who is waiting to pick up youth at the end of a long day of activities. Parents and siblings are encouraged to join us for our last day designated as a Family Day to celebrate our achievements together.

Because many of our youth share the parallel journey of settling with their families into a new community, celebrations of culture through art, music, and dance are key to learning more about each other and feeling proud of where we come from. This year, our summer camp will continue to work closely with our community partners at the SPCA, Power to Be, Science Venture, Theatre SKAM and the Pacific Opera to find new and exciting experiences for our youth.

34 Island Parent Magazine

Family Services of Greater Victoria

Family Services of Greater Victoria helps children, youth, and adults manage the challenges of separation, divorce, or transition to a new family structure. Our highly qualified staff, working with other community agencies, provide information and practical or emotional support so people facing these challenges can make the decisions that are best for everyone. FSGV believes all individuals can find ways to move forward in their lives when family relationships have changed or are changing. Call us at 250-386-4331 or visit fsgv.org. We can help.

IslandParent.ca

Inter-Cultural Association of Greater Victoria (ICA) is a registered charity and nonprofit helping individuals and organizations to connect across cultures. Programs offered include immigrant and refugee services, parenting programs, employment services, interpretation and translation, diversity workshops and training, English language training, volunteer placements, youth programs and tutoring, seniors groups, and inter-cultural arts programming.

Located at 930 Balmoral Road, 250-388-4728, icavictoria.org.

LDABC The Learning Curve (previously The Learning Disabilities Assn.) supports, educates and advocates for children with learning and behavior challenges. Individual and group support, education and consultation is available for children, youth, parents, caregivers and professionals. Please visit our website ldasvi.bc.ca or call us for more information 250-370-9513.

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520 Mt View Ave

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Linday Trowell—Creating Calm Within the Chaos. 18+ years experience as a behaviour support professional for caregivers and parents of children and adults with special needs. I understand the struggle that families face just to get out the door in the morning. I am trained in working with individuals with FASD, attachment difficulties, anxiety, trauma, autism, and much more. Individual and family counselling. Relaxed, non-judgmental support tailored for your individual needs. I help strengthen families and empower individuals. lindsaytrowell.com. #1023212 Jacklin Rd (located in Stillpoint Acupuncture Clinic). 250-217-4536.

Sooke Family Resource Society (SFRS) provides Family Resource Programs including: Prenatal Education and Outreach, Parent-Tot Drop-In Groups, Parent Discussion Groups, Family Support Groups and Outreach, a Toy and Book Lending Library, and Kingfisher Preschool. Sooke-Westshore Child Care Resource and Referral services, as well as all-ages counselling services are also provided by SFRS. Services are provided from the Child, Youth and Family Centres in both Sooke and the Westshore.

Call 250-642-5152 for more information or visit our website at sfrs.ca.

Victoria Immigrant and Refugee Centre Society (VIRCS) supports immigrants and refugees living in Greater Victoria. Services are free and include oneon-one counselling, parent education workshops, youth life skills classes, a preschool program, art therapy, language classes and academic support, employment help, computer classes and fun community events like free yoga, tai chi, dance and cooking classes. Visit us online at vircs.bc.ca or phone 250-361-9433.

IslandParent.ca

May 2019 35

Bo o KN O O K

Kids Picks

…or The Books I Can Recite In My Sleep

I

n the process of choosing a theme for the May Book Nook, I considered reviewing books that showcase the delightful relationships kids have with their mothers since Mother’s Day is on May 12. But then I thought to myself, my kids probably aren’t going to remember Mother’s Day exists unless I point it out with neon lights. So May really isn’t about me. And if your kids are anything like mine, it’s not about you or your partner either. It’s still about them.

So for your enjoyment—or at the very least your kids’ enjoyment—and in no particular order, here are seven of my children’s favourite books. And yes, I can probably recite them to you word for word.

for Young Readers, 2013). This is a great book to read if you have any young truck lovers in your house. Every morning the main character in this story helps his parents get their truck stop ready to serve all of the regulars’ breakfast. And he loves it.

However, on this morning there’s a problem. Green Gus doesn’t show up like he usually does. All of the regulars are worried about their friend and hope to find him. For ages 3 to 7.

while they try to figure out what each one is doing—some of those silly monkeys are always lifting something heavy or riding a horse. But, even after staring at each page intensely, they will still probably find something new every time they open up the book. For ages 2 to 6.

Mix It Up! by Hervé Tullet (Chronicle Books, 2014). In this interactive book, your children will learn all about colours and what happens when you mix different ones together. As you flip through the pages, Tullet encourages your child to smoosh, tilt, and smear the pictures of paint across the pages. It’s like messy paint play, but without the actual mess. Really it’s a win-win. For ages 2 to 6.

100 Hungry Monkeys by Masayuki Sebe (Kids Can Press, 2014). In this cute counting story, 100 hungry monkeys go looking for food. However, they don’t count on a monster following them when they try to eat the food they find.

Every page is filled with 100 monkeys for your child to count and study. Your kids can spend ages staring at all of the monkeys 36

Island Parent Magazine

Violet the Pilot: Her Inventions Will Take Her Sky High! by Steve Breen (Puffin Books, 2016). Violet VanWinkle is an inventor. She loves inventing flying machines even though it means the other kids in her school think she’s weird. She does wish they would learn to understand her someday.

One day Violet sees an advertisement for an air show. This could be her chance.

Violet decides to enter the competition, because she hopes the kids from her school Playtown Emergency: A Lift-The-Flap will be nice to her if she wins a ribbon. As Book by Roger Priddy and illustrated by I’m sure you can imagine, things don’t go Dan Green (Priddy Books, 2014). In this the way she planned, but Violet still learns bright and colourful board book, your kids a valuable lesson about acceptance and can learn all about the heroes of Playtown self-love. For ages 4 to 8. from Fire Chief Jen to Nurse Jamie.

But that isn’t all. The book is also full Neon Leon by Jane Clarke and illustrated of information about the different trucks by Britta Teckentrup (Nosy Crow, 2018). firefighters and police officers drive, what Like Mix It Up! this is an interactive book happens at an airport in an emergency, how about colours. However, that is where animals help rescue people from the moun- the similarities end. In this book, you and tains, and so much more. For ages 0 to 4. your child follow Leon, a neon orange chameleon, as he tries to blend in. But he Truck Stop by Anne Rockwell and il- can’t blend into the green jungle or the grey lustrated by Melissa Iwai (Viking Books mountains, which makes his family very IslandParent.ca

Join us for an unforgettable summer!

July-August Ages 7-17

annoyed. So Neon Leon leaves the other chameleons to find somewhere he can hide.

For ages 2 to 5.

Disney’s Princess Treasury (Disney Press, 2001). I know this book is a bit older than the ones I usually review, but my four-yearold son adores the stories in here. In this book, you and your child can read about Cinderella, Ariel, Snow White, Belle, and Aladdin. The stories, which are condensed versions of the movies, are illustrated with stills from the films. These were the first chapter books we introduced to my son, and it is still the only chapter book he wants to read. For ages 4 to 10.

camps.brentwood.ca

FALCON

GYMNASTICS CENTRE

Summer Sault Gymnastics Camp 2019 Call for more information:

250-479-6424

July 8 to August 30, 2019

School Age Recreational – Half Days morning or afternoon and Full Days, ages 5–14.

For more information visit our website at www.falcongymnastics.com We also have: • The best gymnastics and most affordable classes.

• The best Birthday Parties in town.

208 – 721 Vanalman Ave, Victoria, BC V8Z 3B6 250-479-6424 www.falcongymnastics.com info@falcongymnastics.com

Summer Kids Camps 2019 In Cowichan Bay And there you have it, seven books for you to read with your kids. Maybe if you are lucky you can read them with your children as you’re munching on the Mother’s Day breakfast they brought you in bed.

I however will be reading these books to my kids before bed. Then, maybe I’ll get to enjoy some ice cream by myself as a treat for Mother’s Day. Christina Van Starkenburg is a freelance writer and mother of two young boys. You can read about their adventures at thebookandbaby.com.

IslandParent.ca

Day Programs & Overnight Camps

Register online now at cowichanbaykayaking.com 250-597-3031

info@cowichanbaykayaking.com May 2019

37

The Fun (& Philosophy) of

Forest schools I

magine a teacher who inspires continuous wonder and curiosity.

A teacher who challenges you to the edge of your physical, social, emotional, intellectual and spiritual knowing, always present and always patient.

Imagine a teacher who welcomes your insatiable curiosity and who gives you the space and time to make sense of the world around you.

Imagine a teacher who instills all of these preschool skills all while you play to your hearts content with your friends.

Mother Nature is that teacher.

The forest-school model is first and foremost about creating a framework where children are given the time and space to play in a natural environment over seasons. As the children re-visit their outdoor classroom again and again, they naturally take ownership of their play space as they connect to themselves and their place. They begin to feel the aliveness and rhythm of their outdoor environment and intrinsically want to take care of all the wild creatures that inhabit it: from the very shy worm to the always loud and rambunctious woodpecker. Everything has value.

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As teachers, we help bridge the children’s wonder and curiosity as they lead their learning by what they are interested in. We support this emergent, play-based curriculum by going deeper together with the children as co-learners when group interests bubble up.

Being outdoors several times a week over the consecutive seasons of fall, winter, spring and early summer connects the children to their natural environment in such a powerfully primal way that they are forever changed.

The fall gives the kids time for their bodies to acclimatize to being outdoors, to notice a shift in the angle of the sun, and to watch as summer’s lushness falls away to a less hurried time.

The winter months teaches the children to persevere through the harsher weather while still finding joy and fun with the snow and ice. They discover their limits, their strengths, what they are truly capable of.

The spring is like one continuous celebration where the children sense that the forest is finally waking up and they are there to witness that in all of its glory.

They shed their bulky winter layers and

discover how they can move with their transformed bodies. They know the berries are coming.

Then early summer arrives, and the end of our session too. They take pride in all they’ve accomplished, how they’ve grown, and how capable they are! They laugh and dance with friends who were strangers in the fall but are like family now. They move through the wild with a comfort and ease that comes from really knowing a place.

After a full year all of the children’s senses are brighter and more in tune to the wondrous sights, sounds, tastes, textures and smells that the forest offers.

They notice the clouds floating in the sky, the birds when they arrive in the spring, the taste of the rain, the touch of a newly sprouted bud and the fresh smell of the good dirt.

Toys in nature are the sticks, logs, dirt, and mud. The backdrop is trees, ferns, hills and valleys. As the children incorporate these simple props into their play the forest erupts with their dramatic play.

The children’s constant dialogue, imaginative script and continuous role changes within their play all become opportunities for social interactions and learning.

A powerful sense of community evolves within the group and the beginnings of deeper learning are sparked. This is how a community is born.

The natural environment helps children connect to who they are. And a sense of self emerges. They develop self determination, self awareness, self sacrifice and self confidence all while playing with and in their forest.

Sue Cameron and Alix Wilson are Nature Educators at Hand-In-Hand Early Years Nature Education Program in Campbell River and Cumberland.

STAGES Su m mer Pro g ra ms Running This July & August

Yo u t h

Da n c

e C a m P reFs c h o o ps or 3-5 yearl D a n c olds eC Mus in ical Thea Ballet, J a mp s tre & a Tap zz, e v i ns es e s t s n I a l e 0 rshe Csummerldfor e D a ngcust 19ars-o3ld & uopbawtiicths c n D ag through tto 3 years o Au rs 11 ye p & Acr e l t t o e i L runnin onths danc Hip H

For d an Jazz cers 6-1 , Hip 2 Hop years o ld & Ac roba in tics

th

For Ballet, , Jazz

th

Are se 18 m tho

Come Dance With Us Call (250) 384-3267, email: stagesdance@shaw.ca or visit us at www.stagesdance.com IslandParent.ca

May 2019

39

Preschool&ChildcareDirectory Central Saanich

like to be part of a community devoted to the development of the whole child. Open House: Thursdays 9-11 am. west-mont.ca.

Carrot Seed Preschool........................250-658-2331 Where children can discover, imagine, construct and learn through play. Wondrous natural playground. carrotseedpreschool.com.

North SAANICH • one of the few parent participation preschools on the Peninsula • learning through play philosophy • a large, beautiful indoor and outdoor space • offering flexible 4 hour programs 1–4 days a week • a great community to join • visit us at www.countrysidepreschool.org

In The Garden Childcare Centre.........250-654-0306 A GREAT PLACE TO GROW. Offering preschool, full day care, before and after school care for children aged 2.5 to 12 years old. Open all year. Now offering Infant and Toddler Care.

CORDOVA BAY

OAK BAY

Cordova Bay Preschool......................250-658-3441 A bright and cheerful parent participation preschool with a philosophy of learning through play. 4 yr olds - M/W/F 9:151:15; 3 yr olds - T/Th 9:15-12:15. cordovabaypreschool.org.

Gonzales Co-op Preschool..................250-727-1003 Children use imaginations in a Learning through Play classroom and natural playground. Reggio-Emilia inspired, focus is on art, nature and music. Nurturing, highly qualified ECE and ECE assistant. Parent participation options. Allergy aware. gonzalescooppreschool.com.

ESQUIMALT Ciara Early Childhood Centre............. 250-386-7369 Education and Fun Hand in Hand! Exceptional care for ages 1-5yrs. Inclusive nature inspired kindergarten readiness program with Christian values. Facebook.com/ CiaraEarlyChildhoodCentre.

Island Kids Academy Esquimalt..........250-381-2929 High quality child care (ages 1-5). Enriched Curriculum.

Includes Music Classes and Character Development using the Virtues Project. Wait list being taken. Islandkids.ca.

La Pré-Maternelle Appletree Preschool.............................250-479-0292 A French Immersion Preschool Program.

30 months to school age. Licensed Christian centre. prematernelleappletree.com.

METCHOSIN Metchosin Cooperative Preschool............................

Play Explore Learn and Grow in beautiful rural Metchosin.

Morning programs available for 3 and 4 year olds. Contact our ECEs at metchosinpreschool@gmail.com.

West-Mont Montessori School........... 250-474-2626 Exceptional preschool Montessori instruction in a beautiful natural environment. Ages 30 months and up.

Providing a balanced approach to incorporating French, Music, Art and Nature. Stop by and experience what it is

Oak Bay Preschool.............................250-592-1922 Oak Bay Preschool is a co-op preschool, using a play-based curriculum with qualified ECE and ECEA. We use a balance of indoor and outdoor classrooms to enrich your child’s preschool experience. Learn more at oakbaypreschool.com.

Recreation Oak Bay........................... 250-370-7200 Fully licensed, ECE Daycare, Preschool and Nature Preschool. Play based, child led learning. Afterschool care available.

SAANICH

• Licensed 3 hr and 4 hr programs, flexible part-time classes • Qualified ECEs offer play-based programs that stimulate curiosity and imagination and support optimum growth and development. Supported spaces available.

• Indoor and outdoor programming, community visitors and special activities provide opportunities for learning through play and exploration.

Fullobeans.ca 250-360-1148 saanichneighbourhoodplace.com

Island Montessori House................250-592-4411 Inclusive, integrated and nurturing Preschool and Before/After School Care programs. Lovely rural setting with a focus on nature and outdoor environmental activities. islandmontessori.com.

Lambrick Park Preschool & Childcare...250-477-8131 Gordon Head’s parent-participation preschool and childcare center. Flexible hours M-F 9am-3pm & drop-ins offered. Play based learning and outdoor play. Allergy friendly. Celebrating 40 years. lambrickparkpreschool.ca.

Oakcrest Preschool........................... 250-472-0668 A welcoming, nurturing environment with a large, bright facility. Learn through play with 2 caring ECEs. oakcrestpreschool.org.

Ready Set Grow Preschool..................250-472-1530 Inside Hillcrest Elm. in Gordon Head, we help children transition to Kindergarten. Licensed Preschool with highly qualified, warm ECE. heoscmanager@gmail.com.

Pre-School Junior Kindergarten • Half day and Full day Preschool Programs • Children’s learning is nurtured and supported through exploration, discovery, play and creative expression 3905 Haro Road, Victoria BC

PacificChristian.ca 250-479-4532

250-477-3731 arbutusgrove.ca

Educational Excellence to the Glory of God Camosun College Child Care Services.. 250-370-4880 Quality licensed facilities on both campuses providing children, newborn to 5 years, with rich early learning experiences in a learn through play environment. camosun.ca/childcare.

St. Joseph’s Early Learning Centre........ 250-479-1237 A Christian childcare centre offering daycare and preschool programs for 3-5 year olds. Children learn through play-based and emergent curriculum in a warm and nurturing environment.

Looking for child care? Need help with the Affordable Child Care Benefit?

Taking care of children? Need child care training?

Child Care

Resource & Referral Funded by the Province of BC

Your community’s best source of child care information and resources.

40 Island Parent Magazine

Call your local Child Care Resource & Referral for free referrals and resources.

Victoria & Gulf Islands: 250-382-7000 or 1-800-750-1868 Sooke: 250-642-5152 West Shore: 250-940-4882 Cowichan Valley: 250-746-4135 local 231 PacificCare (Ladysmith north): 250-756-2022 or 1-888-480-2273

vancouverislandccrr.ca ccrr.bc.ca

IslandParent.ca

The Sir James Douglas Playschool ....250-389-0500 Fun, creative and educational ECE program for 3-5 year olds to grow and develop life long skills. Come play and learn in our bright and modern centre in Fairfield. sjdoutofschoolclub.com.

Wiseways Child Care Centre.......... 250-477-1312 Established, quality, licensed, Christian centre for 3-5 year olds. Experienced ECEs, cheerful spacious facilities, large playground. Subsidized fees welcome.

Call for a tour. Wisewaysvictoria.com.

Victoria Montessori ..........................250-380-0534 Unique, innovative learning environment combining the best of Montessori and Learning Through Play. Open yr. round. 30mths–K. victoriamontessori.com.

ViCToria ❖ Comprehensive programs for Preschool through Grade 9 ❖ Delivering academic excellence through music, dance, drama and visual arts ❖ Outstanding educators, locations and facilities

Island Kids Academy View Royal ...... 250-727-2929 High quality child care (ages 1-5). Enriched Curriculum.

Includes Music Classes and Character Development using the Virtues Project. Wait list being taken. Islandkids.ca.

Castleview Child Care.......................250-595-5355 Learning Through Play & Discovery. Licensed non-profit, ECE staff. Since 1958. Morning or full-time care. castleviewchildcarecentre.com.

Centennial Day Care ......................... 250-386-6832 Exceptional childcare and education 35+ years. Nature inspired, play based program. NEW central, “green” building. centennialdaycare.ca.

Christ Church Cathedral Childcare and Junior Kindergarten ....................250-383-5132 ECE and Specialist teachers provide an outstanding all-day, licensed program for 3–5 year olds. Spacious, renovated facility with a huge backyard in Fairfield. cathedralschool.ca.

Nightingale Preschool and Junior Kindergarten Ltd................250-595-7544 We offer education through creativity and play, providing rich learning experiences through a well sourced and stimulating indoor and outdoor environment. Early years reading programme. nightingalepreschool.com.

Arts/Drama programme. kidsworks.ca.

JLC Victoria Japanese Preschool The only Japanese Immersion Preschool on the Island opens at Craigflower Schoolhouse. Offering the best environment for preschoolers to learn Japanese language and culture as natural as possible. jlcvictoria.com.

at St. Barnabas Church is accepting registrations for September 2019. We are a Waldorf inspired and faith based new preschool in Victoria.

Please visit our website at

theriverpreschool.stbarnabaschurch.ca or email us at riverpreschoolvic@gmail.com.

You are welcome to visit us at The River Drop-in Playgroup on Wednesdays 10–11:30am at St. Barnabas Church Hall.

St. Joseph’s Preschool ....................... 250-246-3191 An enriching preschool program allowing children to grow as individuals in a safe and nurturing Christian environment.

NaNaiMo

ASPENGROVE SCHOOL

duNCaN

Junior Kindergarten to Grade 12 Learn more today!

250-390-2201 AspengroveSchool.ca

N A N A I M O ’ S J K -12 I N T E R N AT I O N A L B ACC A L AU R E AT E W O R L D S C H O O L

The first steps in your child’s education

QualiCuM BeaCH Call for more information today: 250.746.3654

International Montessori Academy of Canada ........................................... 250-737-1119 Elementary K–12. Offers an enriching environment for preschool children 2-4.9 years with potty training. Nurturing young minds, keeping the spirit free. intmontessori.ca.

Parkside Academy ............................... 250-746-1711 Providing high quality early learning and care from infancy to 12 years of age, in a stimulating, respectful, nurturing, nature based environment with fully educated and passionate early childhood educators. Visit parksideacademy.ca or find us on Facebook.

The River Preschool

Sunrise Waldorf School Preschool ....... 250-743-7253 In a warm environment, this nature and play-based program enlivens and nurtures the growing child. sunrisewaldorfschool.org.

CHeMaiNus

VieW royal

www.ArtsCalibre.ca 250.382.3533

Queen of Angels Early Learning Centre 250-701-0433 Our Centre is a lively, happy place for 3-5 year olds where children are encouraged to be confident, independent learners in a nurturing and safe environment.

Queen Margaret’s School ....................250-746-4185 Early Childhood Education Program. Co-ed nurturing curriculum to develop the whole child. Healthy snacks and lunch provided. qms.bc.ca.

Children’s Discovery Centre.............. 250-752-4343 A nurturing, safe and creative learning environment.

Licensed preschool, group care and out of school care. Early Childhood Educators. childrensdiscovery centre.ca. childrensdiscoverycentre@hotmail.com.

Little Star Children’s Centre .............. 250-752-4554 Little Gems Infant and Toddler Care .. 250-228-5437 Mother, Daughter owned and operated. Earth friendly preschool education inspired by nature. Infused with fun and creative daily yoga practices! Licensed group care. Enthusiastic ECE instructors. littlestardaycare.ca

PorT alBerNi John Paul II Catholic School .............. 250-723-0637 “Where children grow and learn through play.” We provide a program that will inspire development physically, socially, emotionally, cognitively, creatively and spiritually.

Nestled on 4 acres of lush west Coast forest, our Award winning, Nature based program will not disappoint!

While firmly embracing the Reggio-Emila (Italy) Philosophy our dedicated team of educators use the environment as the third teacher as we encourage your child throughout their day.

Our purpose built facilities have been handmade using the trees from our forest. We have recently expanded to our new Spirit Bear Lodge located right next door!

Programs for Infants/Toddlers and Pre-Kindergarten children.

Photo: Cheryl Cameron, Atelierista

IslandParent.ca

Award of Excellence in Child Care

lexieslittlebears.ca 250-590-3603

May 2019

41

N ATu R E N OTES

N

ature, family time and fresh air. Sounds pretty good, right? Hiking is a fantastic spring activity for the whole family. It is beneficial for physical and mental health, while also creating life-long memories and connections to the natural world. With spring comes warmer weather, wildflowers and deciduous leaves emerging. What an excellent time to get outdoors. Here are some tips to make the most of your family hikes.

a Naturalist’s guide to

Family Hiking Make a plan. Spontaneous outings can be a blast, but extra planning can go a long way, especially if you are hiking with children. First, pick a date that works well for everyone. Then, decide on hike duration and time of day. Allow some extra wiggle room for travel, breaks or if you decide to extend your time outdoors. Then, pick a location.

Not only will this help you organize and pack, but also get excited for the adventure.

Finally, do your research. Look online for park information, maps and trail distances and difficulty levels. With this information, you can plan a hiking route that everyone can enjoy. Check the weather and safety alerts as your hike approaches ensuring a safe and fun experience. It’s always a good idea to tell a friend or family member where you are headed and when you are expected back. Learn more about how to be prepared for outside adventures at adventuresmart.ca.

Pack wisely. Once you’ve made a plan, it’s time to pack. Have everyone carry their own backpack to share the load, stay safe and help teach children independence. Each person should have their own water, extra clothes and healthy snack or meal depending on how long your hike is. Pack at least one first aid kit, cell or satellite phone, park map and sunscreen for the group. It’s a good idea to attach a whistle to kid’s jackets or backpack. Heading somewhere wild? Consider some navigation aids. If you’re bringing a furry family member with you, pack a leash, waste bags and water, and food for longer hikes.

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Activities. The beauty and excitement of nature can be fulfilling enough without additional activities. However, children often enjoy something to further engage them with their surroundings. Here are some ideas: • Use your senses. Smell a wildflower, listen for birds chirping, look for new leaves growing and feel different textures. Can you find something soft, rough, wet, or prickly?

Keep in mind that some things in the forest are not safe to eat. Save your sense of taste for the healthy snack you brought with you.

• Identify plants and animals. Learning the names of living things around us can help us connect with them. Use field guides to identify the plants and animals around you. Let everyone take turns picking a tree to identify by observing the leaves or needles, bark, shape and size.

• Develop new perspectives. Magnification tools provide us with ways to experience things differently. With binoculars, look up in the trees for birds of prey to get a closer look. Try identifying the species with a field guide. Roll over a log in the forest then use a magnifying glass to see what’s hiding underneath. You may see salamanders, pill bugs, slug eggs and more! Just remember to roll the log back afterwards.

Having a tricky time choosing a park?

Here are some suggestions in regional parks: • Francis/King Regional Park. This park is a hidden gem with many gentle trails to best suit your adventure squad of all ages and abilities. With some of the largest Douglas-fir trees in the capital region and wonderful wildflowers emerging all around, this park never fails to impress.

After your hike, hop into the nature centre to learn more about the park’s history and the things that call it home (open weekends and holiday Mondays from noon-4pm).

• East Sooke Regional Park. Looking for something a bit more wild and coastal? This park offers incredible ocean views and dense forest along gentle to rugged trails. There are three entrances and many trails of varying difficulty levels, so do your research to decide what will be most enjoyable for the group.

Get outdoors and create some life-long family memories, while boosting your health. If you’re looking for some more fun family nature outing ideas, join CRD Park Naturalists on a free guided walk or drop-in event. For more information, visit crd.bc.ca/about/events.

Rachael Tancock is a Park Naturalist at the Capital Regional District.

IslandParent.ca

We are happy to offer adventurous, inclusive and quality programs for the community. We welcome landlubbers, Olympic dreamers and everyone in between!

Our classes start at 4 years old all the way through to adults! Join us on the water!

ROYAL VICTORIA YACHT CLUB

250 592 6113 - sailing@rvyc.ca - www.rvyc.bc.ca May 2019 43

M aternit y& B e yo nd

Alone Time

I

n the beginning of Angus’s grade one year, we received a call from his teacher.

One of his classmates had thrown a handful of gravel at him at recess; Angus was fine but his classmate had been sent home and would return the following day with an apology. The girl threw the gravel because she asked Angus to play with her and he refused.

At that school, there was a rule: anyone who asked to play had to be invited to join.

The only exception to this was when a child wanted to play on their own—which, that day, had been Angus’s choice.

The phone call left me a little unmoored.

I was used to being called by teachers. Since day one of preschool, I had been called frequently, but this was either to solicit my advice in dealing with a difficult behaviour or to report that a difficult behaviour could not be dealt with and I needed to take Angus home. To be notified of a situation that had already been dealt with was new to me. New

also was the fact that a “zero tolerance” policy actually meant zero tolerance. But what surprised me the most: my kid wanted to spend recess playing by himself.

I have always been aware that Angus requires alone time—that he uses solitude as a reset when he’s feeling overwhelmed. In that way, we are similar. But there was something about recess, something about playing alone when other kids were playing together that was unsettling to me. Surely Angus didn’t really want to play by him-

self. I know I’m not the only parent quick to make that assumption. I’ve heard other parent friends lamenting their seemingly friendless and miserable kids, after driveby observations of their children alone on the playground.

The thing is, sometimes those assumption are correct. Often Angus complains of kids not playing with him: unsuccessful attempts to insert himself into games, requests that are denied. He has had ample experience being teased and excluded, and because of this if there are other kids present and Angus is playing alone, I automatically assume this is not by choice.

In kindergarten, Angus attended a small independent school that had a half-day option, but it was a long drive from our house.

Send Us Your Stories!

Island Parent is looking for articles for upcoming issues. Some of our best content comes from people just like you—Vancouver Island parents who are passionate about their families and are dealing with the day-to-day issues of raising children in our community.

Share your experiences, your thoughts on a particular issue, your ideas on places to see or projects to do—anything related to parenting.

Check our Writer’s Guidelines at islandparent.ca for specific information on submissions. We’d love to hear from you.

Please email submissions to editor@islandparent.ca 44 Island Parent Magazine

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There was little sense for me to drive home between drop-off and pick-up so I often worked in the coffee shop down the street.

Frequently, I would “stretch my legs� with a walk past the play area that directly corresponded with recess. Because of the layout of the playground, Angus was never able to see me, so there was little deterrent for the spying aside from the misery I felt over his presumed loneliness. And I often presumed he was lonely. Sometimes I would see him engaged in play with other kids—or at least near other kids—but most often he’d be by himself.

The day I saw him sitting alone under a tree with an encyclopedia, I asked his teacher to not let him take books outside anymore.

I figured that if he were reading, other kids might think he didn’t want to play. Never for a second did I assume Angus wanted to be alone. That, overwhelmed and overstimulated from a morning in the classroom, he was calming himself down in the best way he knew how—by hiding behind a thick volume and slowly flipping pages.

After school, on days I didn’t spy, I’d ask Angus who he played with at recess.

He never said he played alone. Instead he’d name off a couple kids in his class. He wasn’t that successful with his deception, as he frequently named children who hadn’t actually been at school that day. Of course his invented playmates were a direct result of my enthusiastic response to any social interaction I observed; Angus knew I cared if he played with other kids and so it made sense to claim that he had.

This year, from what I can tell, Angus plays with other kids most recesses. Generally this play is facilitated and monitored by his Educational Assistant, who has taken a motley crew of boys under her wing. I’m grateful for that, and I know he is also. But often at pick-up time I find Angus crouched in the corner of his classroom with a book, or hovering in the doorway, or hidden in the tent in the cloakroom—alone. Though my chest clenches every time, I try to remember that being alone can be by choice. I don’t ask who he played with at recess, but rather how recess went. I don’t spy either. I just cross my fingers tightly and hope that Angus has friends with him when he wants them.

Laura Trunkey is the mother of the amazing Angus, and the author of the story collection Double Dutch (House of Anansi, 2016). Find her at lauratrunkey.com.

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REfreshing SMOOTHIES

Pick up your copy of Island Parent at any Serious Coffee cafÊ 5P ÜOE POF OFBS ZPV HP UP TFSJPVTDPòFF DPN

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May 2019  45

CutitOut!

shocking to find out how children behave but your task is to learn about them, not change them. As time goes by, if you respect the way the family functions, and accept your step-children for who they are, they will come to respect you. They didn’t ask around. If something in the family irritates you to come into their lives but they may you, discuss it with your partner out of the come to like or even love you if you take children’s hearing. But know that the parent your time.

If you are already a parent, know that is the authority, not you. you won’t feel the same about your stepchildren as you do about your own. This is natural. Relationships take time to build.

Give all the children time to get used to one another, don’t force it. Reassure them that their things or their space is still theirs, even if it is half a room. Finally, remember that your kids still need to have you to themselves. Time together will give you a chance to connect and hear how they are doing.

For you and your partner, chances are you worked hard to get to this place. Celebrate, be gentle and lovingly turn toward one another often.

Becoming a Step-parent

H

ow do you become a step-parent?

Slowly!

Children who are used to having their mother or father all to themselves don’t take too kindly to someone else sharing their parent’s love and time. The situation becomes much worse if the adult tries to tell the children what to do.

Anyone who gets involved with a person who has children must realize that he or she is taking on a family, not just an individual.

We all know that trying to change our partner doesn’t work; we must accept them as they are. It’s the same with a family. Get to know the family as an observer and friend.

It is by far the best if you do this before you move in or get married.

During the first year you might find that you have lots of responsibility with very little authority. As frustrating as it might be, this is the way it should be. You can enforce If you don’t have any children of basic rules when alone with the children, your own, you may not understand the but you take a step back when the parent is limitations of your step-children. It can be

Allison Rees has two LIFE Seminars books available: Sidestepping the Power Struggle and The Parent Child Connection. See lifeseminars.com.

Summer FUN at GNS Glenlyon Norfolk School is offering a variety of fun summer camps for students age 4½ to 17.

Arts, soccer, field hockey, day camps, kayaking, magic and more—our summer programs offer something for everyone! Registration now open.

www.mygns.ca/summer-fun IB CONTINUUM CONTINUUM DE L’IB CONTINUO DEL IB

46 Island Parent Magazine

IslandParent.ca

Summer

at the

Colwood Waterfront

Esquimalt Lagoon on Ocean Boulevard

Beach Food Fridays & Saturdays

Every Friday & Saturday from noon to 7pm, May to September!

Three or four local food trucks and LIVE MUSIC from 5-7pm.

Eats & Beats at the Beach

Saturday, July 20 it’s the biggest beach party of the summer!

Five live bands, food truck festival, craft beverages and FREE fun on sand, sea & sky.

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a su m mer “Give them forever!� that lasts

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