April 2020 Island Parent

a P r I l / m ay 2 0 2 0

Vancouver Island’s Parenting Resource for 32 Years

Taking Care of Your Family’s Health

Pandemic Parenting

Families & COVID-19 Cultivating Joy

Social Distancing Survival Guide

SLS Summer Programs_outlines.indd 1

IslandParent.ca

3/17/2020 3:40:39 PM

April/May 2020  3

ta B l e o f C O N t e N t s

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Fast Forward SUE FAST

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surviving medical appointments with special Needs Kids How timeliness, patience and an unhurried approach can help.

YVONNE BLOMER

families & coVid-19 6

Keeping Healthy During the COVID-19 Pandemic

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Financial First aid Kit

tips on staying physically and mentally well.

10 steps to help you navigate your way through a financial crisis.

SAANICH HEALTH UNIT PUBLIC NURSES

LINDSAY PLUMB

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social-Distancing survival Guide ways to keep busy, learning, reading, connected and calm.

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taking Care of your Family’s mental Health

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summer Camp Fun

finding ways to keep our kids engaged and happy at home.

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DR. JILLIAN ROBERTS

WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION

Preschool & Child Care Directory

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music amidst the mayhem

What’s for Dinner

the welcome distraction of song and dance.

EMILLIE PARRISH

JERRI CARSON

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Kids’ reads

Pandemic Parenting

CHRISTINE VAN STARKENBURG

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Family matters & taxes making the most of tax credits and benefits.

Cultivating Joy

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Cut It Out!

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How an extended “time out” has turned into an active “time in.”

DR. ALLISON REES

DAVID LEACH

ONtHeCOVer Tallula Daisy Autumn Poynton Cole (9)

Vancouver Island’s Parenting Resource for 32 Years

Taking Care of Your Family’s Health

Pandemic Parenting

Families & COVID-19 Cultivating Joy

Island Parent Magazine

LAURA TRUNKEY

the importance of looking for joy.

love in the time of COVID-19

A P R I L / M AY 2 0 2 0

the challenges of parenting a neurodiverse kid during a pandemic.

KELLY MCQUILLAN

RYAN RHODES & STINA GRANT

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Helping Kids Cope with stress

Social Distancing Survival Guide

Jim Schneider Publisher publisher@islandparent.ca Sue Fast Editor editor@islandparent.ca Linda Frear Account Manager/Office Manager linda@islandparent.ca Kristine Wickheim Account Manager kristine@islandparent.ca Island Parent Magazine, published by Island Parent Group Enterprises Ltd., is a monthly publication that honours and supports parents by providing information on resources and businesses for Vancouver Island families. Views expressed are not necessarily those of the publisher. No material herein may be reproduced without the permission of the publisher.

Annual mail subscriptions (12 issues) are available for $35 (GST included).

Canadian Publication Mail Product Sales Agreement 40051398. ISSN 0838-5505.

Island Parent Magazine 250-388-6905 islandparent.ca

IslandParent.ca

Fa stf o rwa r d

The Case for ‘Caremongering’ W hat are you doing to keep your family healthy and sane during the COVID-19 pandemic?

At a time when we are being told to stay apart and keep our distance, we need each other more than ever. And that’s given rise to a number of inventive and resourceful ways to stay connected.

Some strategies we’ve heard about include aunts, uncles, cousins and friends who’ve decorated their cars, blared music, and held banners to wish a neighbour’s kid happy birthday with a parade driving past his house. There are people starting a neighbourhood Heart Hunt, where you put up a heart in your window so others can see and count how many hearts—and how much love—they can find when they’re out for a quick walk in their community. There are virtual play dates, FaceTiming not just those far-flung, but also friends just across the street, and bustin’ a move in the TikTok dance challenge and then posting the results online.

So many people are doing such great things.

There’s the Victoria single mom, Chelsea Smith, who is taking portraits of people on their front porch as part of The Front Door Project, an idea started in the U.S. to help raise money for various organizations and charities. The photos are free of charge, but Smith asks those who can, to donate to the 1Up Victoria Single Parent Resource Centre. There’s the Facebook group (in communities across Vancouver Island) called COVID-19 Coming Together whose members reach out to others when they need or can offer help—everything from delivering groceries to teaching free online yoga classes.

What’s now being called “caremongering”—the antithesis of fear-

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mongering—refers to the acts of kindness sparked by coronavirus.

It began as a Facebook group in Toronto, Caremongering-TO, and has now steamrolled into a network of volunteers across Canada who are pooling their time and resources to help people during COVID-19. To find a group in your community, search “Caremongering Vancouver Island.”

In a time that requires solidarity, but insists on social distancing, it is it more important than ever, as David Remnick writes in the New Yorker, to establish some sense of connection.

That’s what we hope to accomplish with this issue. You’ll find the Social Distancing Survival Guide, filled with ideas on how to keep kids learning, reading, entertained and calm. There’s Island Health’s advice on Staying Healthy During the COVID-19 Pandemic, Music Amidst the Mayhem, and Ways to Cultivate Joy. You’ll also find Love in the Time of COVID-19 and Pandemic Parenting.

We hope you are all staying healthy, sane and connected with those you love. Thank you to our advertisers who continue to support our work supporting you, Vancouver Island families. Thank you to our writers, many of whom have young kids at home (or, like the Island Health nurses, are on the frontlines) and still continue to provide informative and engaging articles and stories. And thanks to you, the readers, who pick up or—in these challenging times when we’re social isolating—visit the Island Parent website and read the magazine online.

As the traditional African Ubuntu philosophy translates: “I am because we are.” Meaning, loosely, we cannot exist without each other; we need connection, caring and community. Especially now.

Sue Fast

April/May 2020 5

Families&COVID19

Healthy Families, Happy Families

Child, Youth & Family Public Health South Island Health Units

Esquimalt Gulf Islands

250-519-5311 250-539-3099

Peninsula Saanich Saltspring Island Sooke Victoria West Shore

250-544-2400 250-519-5100 250-538-4880 250-519-3487 250-388-2200 250-519-3490

(toll-free number for office in Saanichton)

Central Island Health Units

Duncan Ladysmith Lake Cowichan Nanaimo Nanaimo Princess Royal Parksville/Qualicum Port Alberni Tofino

250-709-3050 250-755-3342 250-749-6878 250-755-3342 250-739-5845 250-947-8242 250-731-1315 250-725-4020

North Island Health Units

Campbell River Courtenay Kyuquot Health Ctr ‘Namgis Health Ctr Port Hardy

250-850-2110 250-331-8520 250-332-5289 250-974-5522 250-902-6071

islandhealth.ca/our-locations/ health-unit-locations Changes with BC Medical Services Plan premiums mean that families eligible for partial payment of some medical services and access to some income-based programs now must apply for Supplementary Benefits through the Government of BC. Applications can be done online and take approximately 15 minutes.

Families who previously qualified for MSP Premium Assistance should not need to re-apply if taxes are completed yearly. It is advised to confirm coverage before proceeding with treatment to avoid paying out of pocket.

For more information, visit gov.bc.ca/gov/ content/health/health-drug-coverage/msp/ bc-residents/benefits/services-covered-bymsp/supplementary-benefits

6 Island Parent Magazine

Keeping Healthy During the COVID-19 Pandemic

A

s Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has said for many days, we are living in extraordinary times. Life as we know it has changed dramatically due to the COVID-19 pandemic. To help you stay informed on COVID-19, here are some tips on staying physically and mentally well along with some excellent online resources for further information.

What is COVID-19?

COVID-19 is a ‘coronavirus.’ Coronaviruses are a group of viruses usually found in animals. Viruses are extremely small particles that cannot live outside animals or humans for very long. The virus enters the human or animal through the mouth, nose, or breaks in the skin and attacks cells, which creates illness.

COVID-19 spreads from person to person through close contact. COVID-19 causes a range of illnesses from colds to more severe diseases. COVID-19 is spread from an infected person through droplets from coughing or sneezing or from touching an object that was previously touched by someone with the illness and then touching your mouth, nose or eyes before washing your hands.

Symptoms of COVID-19

The symptoms of COVID-19 are similar to many respiratory illnesses: • Cough • Sneezing • Fever • Sore throat • Difficulty breathing If you or your child have the above symptoms and have been in close contact with someone known to have COVID-19, the first thing to do is to avoid contact with anyone else. If you are planning to go to a health care provider or facility, call them before you leave so they can take appropriate precautions.

How do I protect myself or my family from physical illness caused by COVID-19?

The good news is that preventing

COVID-19 is quite simple. We should all be doing the following actions on a daily basis regardless of COVID-19 as they will help to prevent many illnesses throughout the year. You have probably heard these messages many times already, but they are vitally important: • Wash hands for 20 seconds often and with soap and water or an alcohol based hand sanitizer.

• Sneeze and cough into the inside of your elbow or a tissue and then put the tissue into the garbage.

• Avoid touching your mouth, nose and eyes.

• Clean and disinfect frequently touched objects and surfaces.

• Avoid contact with people who are sick.

• Stay home if you are sick.

• Maintain social distancing: keep 2 metres (or about the length of a pool noodle) from anyone outside your family, so no play dates for the time being.

• Follow recommendations from provincial health professionals such as BC Health Minister Adrian Dix and Provincial Health Officer, Dr. Bonnie Henry.

How do I support the mental health of my family in the midst of these stressful times?

• Try to limit time watching the news.

• Pay attention to the facts; avoid sensationalist stories on social media sites and do not share them.

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H a ppyFa m i li es H e a lth yFa m i li es • Focus on what you can do rather than on what you have no control over.

• Try to model calmness and confidence for your children; your children often look to you to gauge the seriousness of a situation.

• Reassure your child that many health experts are working to keep people healthy and to treat those who are sick. Many people recover from this illness and the pandemic will eventually end.

• Use this time to strengthen family relationships in creative ways. Most structured activities and public facilities such as recreation centres and libraries have been cancelled or closed so pull out some of those old board games or go for a walk on a local trail, ensuring you keep social distance from anyone else.

• Pay attention to changes in your child’s behaviour such as frequent nightmares, acting out, anxiety, depression and physical complaints such as stomach upset and headaches.

• Talk to your child, provide opportunities for them to voice their concerns and correct any misinformation.

• Take your child’s concerns seriously.

• Be honest, but positive. Explain they are unlikely to get sick but reinforce actions to prevent illness because this also keeps everyone healthy.

• Provide structure to your family’s day to provide a sense of normalcy.

• Just as in non COVID-19 times, try to get adequate sleep, nutrition and exercise.

• Arrange ‘play dates’ with your friends or your children’s friends via video conferencing such as Skype or FaceTime.

• Write your experiences in a family or private journal; it will be interesting reading in years to come!

Perhaps no phrase suits these times more than the British World War II slogan: “Keep Calm and Carry On.” This pandemic could be an opportunity for all of us to take a break from our busy lives, slow down and forge greater con-

Resources:

There are many excellent websites that provide information about the COVID-19 Pandemic and how to cope through this time of uncertainty. Take some time to review the following: BC Centre for Disease Control: bccdc.ca/ health-info/diseases-conditions/covid-19 Island Health: islandhealth.ca Caring for Kids: caringforkids.cps.ca/ handouts/the-2019-novel-coronaviruscovid-19 nections with our immediate families. In the meantime, take care of yourself and each other as this too shall pass.

Written by and in the collaborative spirit of the Saanich Health Unit Public Health Nurses.

C h ild Youth & Family Public Health

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Social Distancing

Survival Guide

There’s no shortage of resources to help us beat boredom during the COVID crisis.

Here to help you keep your kids busy, learning, reading, calm, connected and entertained is a list of—for the most part—free resources for families.

Keep 'em busy...

Chrome Music Lab makes learning music more accessible through fun, hands-on experiments. You can play with these experiments across devices—phones, tablets, laptops— just by opening the site on a web browser such as Chrome. musiclab.chromeexperiments.com At DIY.org, kids can watch videos and learn how to make something all on their own with DIY.org. Older kids will love creating their own videos to upload and share on the platform.

A free 14-day trial is available.

AT H STAY OME

FAMILY

CALENDAR

Color Our Collections offers free PDF downloads of colouring collections from art in collections of 117 institutions, including The Canadian Canoe Museum, The New York Academy of Medicine Library and The Royal Horticultural Society.

@busytoddler Search “busytoddler” on Instagram for an exhaustive list of play-based learning activities where founder, Susie Allison, is “making it to naps, one activity at a time. Updated daily.

OPEN IN

April

Artist and writer Mo Willems (Don’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus!), hosts the Lunch Doodles (10am Pacific) video sessions every weekday. Each daily episode is accompanied by a downloadable activity page. Grab some paper and pencils and join in. “Stay-in Storytime” and “Operation Storytime.”

On Hello Wonderful you’ll find a list of 50+ Easy Indoor Activities for Kids, along with “10 Minute to Win It” games, sensory walk ideas, instructions for LEGO DIY planters, playdough stick structures and a DIY cardboard dollhouse or castle.

During the month of April follow us on Facebook for a new activity each day aimed at engaging families. @westshorerecreation

8 Island Parent Magazine

westshorerecreation.ca IslandParent.ca

Keep 'em Learning...

Families&COVID19

The Learning Portal is for learners of all ages, and it features all kinds of cool info about the Royal BC Museum. You can read, listen to and watch amazing stories about B.C. at royalbcmuseum.bc.ca.

Google Arts & Culture will let you take a virtual tour of over over 2,500 museums and galleries including the British Museum in London, the Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam, and the Guggenheim in New York City. Take a peek at Frida Kahlo’s diary, find out six things you never knew about Monet, and learn four things you can do with your camera phone from home. artsandculture.google.com

At Smithsonian Open Access, you can download, share, and reuse millions of the Smithsonian’s images—“right now, without asking”—including images and data from Smithsonian’s 19 museums, nine research centres, libraries, archives, and the National Zoo. si.edu/openaccess

NASA’s Teachable Moments brings the wonder of space exploration into the classroom with education-focused explainers of NASA news and standards-aligned lessons for the classroom, or, in the case of selfisolation, the living room.

Sesame Workshop’s just-launched “Caring for Each Other” initiative stars Elmo and his muppet pals, with a website teeming with helpful videos, activities and information for parents and kids about the COVID-19 crisis.

SesameStreet.org/caring

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Curio.ca, a teacher resource, is now free for families.

Browse the curated collections that support the K-12 curriculum and discover different educational packages that include worksheets, hands-on activites and teacher guides.

The National Film Board of Canada (NFB) is offering free online learning resources that give Canadian families and teachers access a special collection of acclaimed NFB films and learning resources at NFB.ca/education.

Resources include: films and playlists; educational interactive projects and apps; and mini-lessons that are built around NFB films using curated film clips, paired with activities to encourage deep learning; among others.

April/May 2020 9

Families&COVID19

Keep 'em Reading...

For a great list of Canadian children’s writers and illustrators—including Vancouver Island writer Monique Gray Smith, Kenneth Oppel and Elly MacKay—sharing their books online, Google “CBC children’s readings.”

To help you talk to your children about these uncertain days, Orca Book Publishers is offering free Read-Along copies of On the News: Our First Talk About Tragedy, written and narrated by renowned child psychologist Dr. Jillian Roberts. To download a readalong, visit orcabook.com.

Scholastic’s Learn at Home is a free resource that provides kids with 20 days of articles and stories, videos, and learning challenges. Children can complete them anytime, in any order, and can work on their own or with family. scholastic.com

For a Big List of Children’s Authors Doing Online Read Alouds & Activities—including local author Monique Gray Smith, J.K. Rowling and even Oprah—visit weareteachers.com.

If you need more, er, space, so to speak, listen to Story Time from Space, a project of the Global Space Education Foundation that sends children’s books to the International Space Station where the books are read on video by astronauts as they orbit above Earth.

Keep 'em Active...

Sport for Life’s PLAYBuilder app offers a list of activities to stay active indoors. sportforlife.ca

Learn the Handwashing Dance on You Tube from the viral video choreography of Vietnam’s Ghen Cô Vy.

GoNoodle.com (on YouTube) provides kids a chance to dance and get their groove on to the banana songs, the moose groove or the Koo Koo Kanga Roo. Perfect for preschool and early grades and, if mom and dad want to get involved, it can be a lot of fun for the whole family.

Cosmic Kids Yoga offers yoga, mindfulness and relaxation designed specially for kids aged 3+. cosmickids.com HomeCourt, a basketball app designed to develop core skills, from beginner to pro, is free until April 30. It offers digital/mobile basketball training programs tips for using technology in a home setting, and “how to” materials for parents. homecourt.ai IslandParent.ca

Keep 'em Calm...

The Kiddies Store Dedicated to providing Vancouver Island families with high-quality infant and toddler products at affordable prices for over 25 years

Anxiety Canada’s free app, MindShift, uses cognitive-based tools to help reorient thinking and behavioural strategies. There’s a thought journal, coping cards and a “Chill Zone” where kids can listen to audio recordings and guided relaxation.

Vista V2 New Features SINCE

1978

• Higher back, deeper footrest on toddler seat • No-rethread harness

Headspace’s Meditation for Kids, with a 30-day free trial, includes five themes for kids to explore: calm, focus, kindness, sleep, and wake up. They’ll learn the fundamentals of meditation with simple, fun breathing exercises. headspace.com

• Enhanced all wheel suspension • Extra large basket • Zip out extended canopy with ventilation • Visual indicators for front wheel locks

tjskids.com

Finlayson St.

Douglas

250-386-2229

St.

3045–C Douglas St. Victoria, BC

Larch St.

Entrance off Larch St.

T.J.’s

Fun, Interactive Online Classes and Groups!

If meditation isn’t your thing, try “MeditOcean,” Monterey Bay Aquarium’s 11-minute guided stress relief session featuring the undulating and mesmerising dance of aquarium jelly fish. Google meditocean.

Illustrator Wendy MacNaughton is hosting a live 30minute drawing class for kids, Mondays through Fridays. #drawtogether classes include silly songs, deep breathing exercises, and lots of time to relax and draw. instagram. com/wendymac/

IslandParent.ca

Even COVID can’t stop us!

Classes Online (live, interactive, local) Childbirth Preparation & Refreshers Baby Care & Infant First Aid Cloth Diapering Workshop Baby-Wearing Workshop Dogs-and-Babies Workshop

Ÿ Ÿ Ÿ Ÿ Ÿ

Groups Online Parents-and-Babies Chat - 1-2pm Mon-Fri Find the link on our website

Retail Store - Online shopping only Support Your Local retailer Ÿ Ÿ Ÿ Ÿ Ÿ

Breastpump sales & rentals Nursing bras and tops Cloth diapers and accessories Baby Carriers Baby Clothes, Books and Toys

975 Fort Street, Victoria motheringtouch.ca - 250-595-4905

April/May 2020 11

Families&COVID19 Keep 'em Connected...

Playing video games with friends online is a great way to stay connected. Pokemon Go has been modified temporarily so that people can play from home. With a focus on expanded features and experiences, the game can be enjoyed in an individual setting and that also encourage exploration. Some others include: Minecraft, Fortnite, Roblox, video game streaming services like Twitch.

Netflix Party is offering a new way of watching Netflix with your friends online while still maintaining social distancing.

It’s not quite the same as being in the same room, but popcorn, a movie and some chatting during the show is as good as it can get. netflixparty.com Facebook groups offer a great way to stay connected and share ideas.

Zoom, FaceTime, What’s App and Skype are all ways to stay connected. Have virtual check-ins, playdates, and even sleepovers.

Keep 'em Entertained...

Curiosity Stream, a collection of documentary films and series, is offering 40% off its annual plans until April 6. The Kids’ Collection includes titles like Nature Mathematics, Amazing Gravity, and Going Nuts: Tales from the Squirrel World. curiositystream.com

Thanks to some Disney fans who have shared You Tube videos of themselves on rides, you can take virtual rides on It’s A Small World along with eight other attractions. Search “Virtual Disney World.”

For a list of 150+ Educational Shows on Netflix, visit homeschoolhideout.com

#TogetherAtHome

Together at Home is a virtual concert series in partnership with WHO to help us all practice social distancing and promote global health. Tune in daily at instagram.com/glblctzn

12 Island Parent Magazine

Listen to live music thanks to the many artists now offering live-streamed mini concerts. Check sites like Stageit or search “Live Music for Kids” and “#together@home” for daily updates and links.

IslandParent.ca

Screen-free Survival Strategies Write a song about your life. Include details like your family, hobbies, interests, loves, pets etc.

Write and mail an actual letter to someone you love (sealed without a kiss or saliva— use a piece of tape or sticker instead!).

Build and test paper airplanes.

Alphabetize your spice rack.

Phone a grandparent or older person and ask them to teach you the words to a song from their childhood.

Learn, practice and perform a magic trick.

Draw a map of your home Be sure to label it with as much detail as you can.

Interview a family member to see what new things you can learn about them. Make a list of the 10 new things you learned.

Design a poster that has a drawing of a main character from a book/movie. On the poster, include the negative and positive character traits.

SUMMER

CAMPS

Use household materials to make and play stringed percussion and/or wind instruments.

PLAY YOUR WAY TO:

Learn Morse code and use it to communicate with someone else through the walls and floors.

Design and build puppets that perform a show about a math concept: shapes, money, addition, subtraction, multiplication, division etc.

CONFIDENCE

SKILL DEVELOPMENT

FUN, TEAM WORK & COOPERATION

RESPECT

INCLUSIVITY

pise.ca/summer-camps

Determine and chart the times that different liquids require to turn solid in the freezer.

Learn practice, and tell three new jokes.

Share these with friends and family members.

From bit.ly/BSDremotelearning.

IslandParent.ca

Spring programs also available!

Visit pise.ca/kids-programs for more information.

April/May 2020  13

Families&COVID19

Taking Care of Your

Family’s Mental Health

Don’t keep your kids in the dark

As scary as this all feels for adults, it can be even more frightening for kids. Children need us to show them that things will get better, that we will find a vaccine, and that most people who get sick will get better. The first thing you need to do is to tell them that everything is going to be okay, that your family is safe; and that they will be safe.

Explain to your children that most of the changes taking place, such as school being closed, activities being cancelled, and playdates being postponed are preventative in nature. Tell them that we’re doing all this out of an abundance of caution—to be as safe. We’re staying home to prevent those who are more vulnerable to the virus from getting sick. If they have questions about anything you tell them, try to give “just enough” answers that are concise and clear, rather than detailed explanations.

Put your kids to work

Have your kids write cards or draw pictures for their grandparents or elderly neighbours, send their friends pen-pal like messages over text (with parental supervision), or help you cook or bake. Keep kids busy and engaged in a variety of activities and look into things you might not have before (for example, learning how to read and play music from YouTube videos, learning a new language). Kids want to feel included and need to be stimulated, so get creative and find fun things to do in downtime that will give them a sense of agency and self-efficacy. Finding new ways to spend time is also a good way to keep screen time in balance. More time at home will likely mean increased screen time for kids, especially if we adults are walking the working parent tightrope of trying to work from home with kids out of school.

Create and stick to a routine

Normalize emotional expression

Children learn by watching adults. That’s why it’s so important that we reassure them that sometimes we get scared too, but that we know it’s going to be okay. Try to keep more intense emotions in check around your kids, as full-on sobbing or panicking can scare them. If you’re crying in a calmer, more controlled way, and are still able to communicate clearly, this is important for kids to see. They need to know that emotions are okay to have and to show.

Feel your feelings, but try to focus on the positive and find the silver lining. Tell your kids that even though we’re scared, we get to spend much more time together as a family and try out new, fun activities that we wouldn’t normally. Keep the home environment as light as possible while still acknowledging and validating their emotions.

14 Island Parent Magazine

This is the time to master the art of time-blocking. For those of us whose children are still on Spring Break, let your kids have time off for fun, relaxing, and playing. Don’t panic and try to get them learning right away until they would normally be going back to school. Kids thrive on structure and routine, and it’s vital that we maintain this aspect of their healthy development even in such uncertain times. Time-blocking our own schedules as adults is important too—this will help us stay focused and on-task when we’re inevitably surrounded by endless distractions.

When Spring Break is over, the best thing you can do is to structure your kids’ days as much as possible. Write the daily schedule down on a whiteboard or

IslandParent.ca

piece of paper and put it on the fridge. As much as appropriate, include your kids in creating their daily plan (for example, allowing them to choose whether snack time is at 9 a.m. or 9:30 a.m.). Your kids will learn their new routine, and this will give your whole family a sense of being grounded and present. If we wake up every day with only a vague plan or intention for the day, we’ll quickly all start to feel a little chaotic, disorganized, and irritable. In times like this, maintaining as much normalcy for kids (and ourselves) as possible is the best way to go to manage mental wellness.

Put your oxygen mask on first

Kids look to their guardians for direction. This means that if you aren’t showering or feeding yourself properly, or aren’t attending to your kids like you should be, their lives (and everyone else’s) are going to be a lot more difficult. Remember that you are their backbone and that you set the tone for the days and weeks to come. If you’re not feeling well mentally or physically your kids will notice and it will affect them. So as hard as it may be, we need to find ways to rally to be as strong a role model as possible.

It’s extra important that we get what we need as partners, adults, and parents during this time. Having everyone together in the house for an extended period of time will undoubtedly push some of us to our limits. To avoid snapping or being unfair to them or our partners, we need to ensure that we’re meeting our own needs too. This means having virtual happy hours with our friends or coworkers, calling our family members to check in, doing that YouTube exercise class, or finally taking that online course. Or maybe it’s just each of you getting at least 30 minutes of alone time while the other partner takes the lead.

Takeaways

We’re all in uncharted waters here, and it’s okay to make mistakes as long as we deal with them effectively. As parents, we’re finding ways to keep our kids engaged and happy at home, and as workers, we’re trying to keep up with our workload despite our changing environment and daily activities. Make sure you take as much private time as you can to connect, vent, or laugh. Call your friends when you feel lonely, and see this extended time with your kids as a rare opportunity to spend meaningful time together. We will all feel frustrated at times, but with some patience, camaraderie and creativity we can get through it together.

Dr. Jillian Roberts is a child psychologist, UVic professor and mother. She is the CEO and Founder of FamilySparks and the author of Kids, Sex and Screens: Raising Strong, Resilient Children in the Sexualized Digital Age.

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Families&COVID19

M o m ’ s P OV

Cultivating Joy

T

he world is in upheaval as we cope with the disruption, uncertainty, and fear of the COVID-19 pandemic. Collectively, we’ve never seen a time like this and it’s easy to become swept up in the Breaking News Vortex, glued to our devices and spiraling into a perpetual state of panic. Joy might not be a word that comes easily to you right now. It might seem trivial when the fabric of civilization seems to be unravelling; however, joy is exactly what we need.

I’m not suggesting that we pretend everything is OK—it’s definitely not. By all means, we need to follow the guidelines of or government and health care leaders in order to mitigate the risk to ourselves and others. But, within our newly-altered lifestyles, the social distancing, the isolation, the pause of business-as-usual, there is still much joy to be found. When we look for it, it can be our lifeline.

I know this, because seeking joy has saved me before. A lifelong struggle with anxiety became much worse after I had my son and my thoughts were continually haunted with horrific what-if scenarios that I convinced myself would actually happen. And then something awful really did happen—my 15-year-old step-son became critically ill with an autoimmune disease and kidney failure.

Three years later, the disease is under control and he has received a kidney transplant, but the stress of that time ravaged our family, my marriage, and all of our mental health. I felt like the world was spinning of control, along with my mind.

In those dark days, what got me through (apart from counseling and medical treatment) was, unexpectedly, joy. Looking for the joy in each day is what pulled me out of the abyss. It was extraordinarily difficult at first, but the more I looked for things to be joyful about, the more joy I felt in my heart.

So now, when everyone on the planet has been thrust into a state of being that closely mirrors living with anxiety, I believe we can all benefit from this practice of looking for and cultivating joy in our daily, albeit changed, lives.

16 Island Parent Magazine

Self-isolation = re-connecting time!

Despite following social distancing guidelines, in the past week I’ve actually spent far more time than usual connecting meaningfully with family and friends.

I called my brother rather than texting, and rather than just “liking” friends’ posts on social media I’m making an effort to message them directly. We’re encouraging and supporting each other, which makes this whole overwhelming circumstance more bearable and strengthens our relationships in the process.

Time with family

I’ve been dreading sending my son off to Kindergarten in the fall, since I know our time together will be much less. So, I’m taking advantage of this gift of bonus time to soak up the wonder of his burgeoning imagination, witty sense of humour, sensitive heart, and the fact that he still loves to snuggle with his mama.

He also gets to spend more quality time with my husband, who just yesterday taught him how to use the drill and hammer out in the shop (which I think I’m happy about).

Family dinners are usually rare in our house, with conflicting work schedules between me, my husband, and my stepson, but we’ve been able to sit down together every evening for the past week.

My son’s delight in having all his family together shows all over his beaming face, which is infectious in the best of ways.

Nature outings

It is (finally) Spring, and getting out of the house to walk the dog—and ourselves—is increasingly enjoyable. Here on Vancouver Island we’ve been lucky to have a run of sunshine and every time we walk we see new signs of life emerging from seemingly dead branches and frozen earth. A friend of mine recently mused that seeing the changes in nature reminds her that everything is a cycle. From the darkest winter bursts the most vivid spring, and we, too, will make it through this difficult time to our next season.

Kindness is all around us

Lately I’ve witnessed many incidences of people going out of their way to be kind to others—everything from letting people go ahead in line, to checking on and getting supplies for their high-risk neighbours, to fundraising initiatives for protecting our most vulnerable, to people simply saying a warm, “hello” while passing (on the other side of) the street. There seems to be a tangible shift in consciousness to an understanding that we are all in this together, so we need to support each other. In a world that was becoming increasingly isolationist and protectionist, it is comforting to see this outpouring of “community.”

Some ideas for cultivating joy for yourself and your families during these stressful times Call or video chat with friends and family. This goes for your kids, too! A few minutes of connection can buoy our spirits for much longer afterwards.

Fill your eyes and ears with the arts.

We need art now like never before. Enjoy the healing power of listening to one of the many live-stream concerts available, or take a virtual tour of a world-class museum or gallery. Watch a recorded dance performance, or a poetry session.

Or roll up your sleeves and create something! Art is both a balm and an outlet for our souls.

Move your body! If you can, get out in nature for socially distanced hikes, beach wanders, or even walks around your neighbourhood. Fresh air, sunshine, and exercise go a long way to helping us feel better. If you can’t leave the house, there is always morning yoga, living room dance-offs, and couch cushion obstacle courses.

Read, read, read. And read. Not the news (any more than you have to), but read to escape, read to look at things from a different perspective, read to learn, and read with your kids! Take advantage of the extra time you have to read aloud to your kids now—we know the rich dividends to be reaped from this in the future.

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Plant something. Even if it’s just a pea plant growing on the windowsill, seeing something you nurtured grow is incredibly satisfying.

Learn something new. From home repair to learning an instrument or a new language, the Internet has you pretty much covered.

Tune into your senses. A coping skill I learned for dealing with my own anxiety is to observe my surroundings in detail, with all of my senses. Soak in the warmth of the sun when it is shining, notice the colours in the sky, hear the sound of bees waking up and buzzing their way through the early flowers, savour that fresh-from-the-oven chocolate chip cookie you just whipped up with the kids, and smell the increasingly fresh and unpolluted air.

Practice gratitude. Keep a family gratitude journal, or just share around the dinner table each night or before bed.

The more you notice what you are grateful for, the more there is to notice.

Give. Do something nice for someone, even if it’s as simple as making a card for an isolated family member that you can take a picture of and send them. Once you start brainstorming with your kids, the opportunities to make someone’s day a little brighter are endless. And it makes us feel good, too!

Listen. Really, truly listen to your kids.

When we take the time, when we are not distracted with thinking about the next activity we need to prepare for, it’s amazing what these little sages share with us, what they teach us about being alive and finding joy in simple things.

Let go. When circumstances make us feel out of control, many of us tend to try to get back a sense of power by overcontrolling other things. But this is not the time to be cranky with our kids for making messes or not doing things “properly,” or for imposing rigid schedules to account for every minute of the day since they are not in school. There is one thing we can control right now, and that is our attitude.

We can choose to be tossed around by the chaos of the storm, to succumb to despair and panic, or we can choose to rise above and support our children to see the joy that still exists, and to nurture the hope that better times lie ahead.

has been to the spa and is back refreshed!

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Kelly McQuillan is a writer, musician, teacher, and fledgling mother living in Comox, BC. kellymcquillanwriter.weebly.com.

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April/May 2020 17

Families&COVID19

DAD S PEA K

Love in the Time of COVID-19

I

’d planned to write this column about our family’s new puppy. I was going to confess how, against all good parenting advice, we gave in to our kids’ lobbying efforts and adopted a mixed mutt a week before Christmas. I’d describe in comic detail how bringing home an eightweek-old pup felt like we’d become new parents again: the sleepless nights, the random poops and pees, the worry we were raising her wrong—and the sheer joy of watching this new life wiggle her way into our hearts.

Then everything changed.

Now, we mark our memories with a big B.C. for “Before Coronavirus.” We still don’t know when we might add an A.C. for life “after COVID-19.” We’re all stunned at the speed that the coronavirus hijacked our cities and our imaginations.

One day, we were posting puppy pics on Facebook; the next, we were sharing pandemic protocols. Tomorrow…who knows?

Looking back, it feels like watching a runaway truck accelerating in our rearview mirror. It began with a news item out of China. Then a quarantined cruise ship. Next, a spike in northern Italy and nearby Washington State. Soon we were hitting refresh on our browsers every 15 minutes to find out how radically our world was changing around us.

At first, we wondered if and when and how we should talk to our kids about COVID-19. Today, we summarize the daily directives from our Prime Minister and public health officials. We try not to overwhelm them with the news, even as we try not to get overwhelmed ourselves.

Parenting advice can feel fraught at the best times. Now it has gained a life-or-death edge. Many of us shared a blog post from a mother in Italy pleading other families not to make the same mistakes: Keep your kids at home, she warned. Don’t worry about screen time.

Flatten the curve.

And so we did. In mere days, COVID-19 reduced us to our most basic family units. Friends separated from friends. Co-workers kept apart except for essential services. Grandparents banished from seeing grandkids.

18 Island Parent Magazine

I’ve been touched by how quickly our kids accepted and adapted to the strange new regime of “social distancing.”

School on hold. Sports seasons cancelled.

Playdates a thing of the past. All their routines wiped away.

Without complaint, my son planned a virtual sleepover to replace his birthday party. He taught himself to make Italian ice desserts from YouTube and then used garage scraps to build a pushcart so he can sell the treats on the street when the quarantine lifts. My daughter keeps to

geons & Dragons know-how to run an online campaign with my sons’ friends.

Who knows how long this will last? I won’t make any predictions as I’m notoriously bad at fortune-telling. Exhibit A: my Fall 2016 column about how excited I was the next U.S. president would be a woman.

I only hope that we all act on what we learn during our time in collective quarantine. I hope our temporary loss of inperson contact reminds us to strengthen the true social networks—with our

her music practices (despite a cancelled band trip) and training runs (for a postponed TC 10K). Their hope gives me hope. What could feel like an extended “Time Out” they’ve turned into an active “Time In.” It helps that our communities have forged new ways to stay connected yet safe. People share links for educational resources and tips for family activities and offers to help elderly or other at-risk neighbours shut inside their homes. We did our dog obedience class by Zoom.

Our kids continue music lessons on Skype. A crafty family friend dropped off supplies and led a felting class via Discord. I’ve dusted off my teenage Dun-

friends and neighbours, with local businesses and the strangers we’ve had to step away from—that make a community livable and help our kids to blossom. I hope that the resiliency we discover in our own families, in the face of global tragedy, can help us to rebuild our shared institutions to be twice as durable as before.

And I hope that everyone can get a puppy, because a puppy is a healthy distraction during a pandemic. But I can tell you about that another time.

David Leach is a professor in the Department of Writing at the University of Victoria and author of Chasing Utopia.

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April/May 2020  19

Families&COVID19

Financial First Aid Kit

Canadian families are being hit hard in the pocket right now. Many of those impacts are out of our control, but some of them aren’t. These 10 steps can help you navigate your way through these changes with confidence.

New Budget!

1.

If you had a budget before, it’s probably no longer realistic and needs to be re-worked, considering each of the below factors. If you’ve never budgeted before, now is the time—having a plan is a must right now! Keep it simple with this free template prettymoneyclub. com/budgetsignup.

Use your emergency fund

2.

Your emergency fund is for times like this. Use savings before taking from your RRSP, TFSA, or credit card.

20 Island Parent Magazine

Reduce Your Spending

3.

You would think this one goes without saying, but in times like these and with online shopping at our fingertips, it’s important that we remember to stick to our budget.

Apply for EI Benefits

4.

Both the federal and provincial governments have offered benefits to employees, self-employed people, those who are caring for children or family.

To see what you qualify for, check prettymoneyclub.com/covidkit.

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Defer Your Payments*

5.

Hydro, gas, debt, and mortgages (among other bills) can all be deferred for up to 6 months for those who qualify. These dollars can go into an emergency fund for now if you aren’t sure if you can afford them or not. If you have any access at the end of the six months, put them right on the principle of your mortgage or towards the balance of your accounts. *Do not “miss” a payment. If you call to defer, ask for the name and extension of the representative you speak to and confirmation in writing that this will not be reported as a missed payment. This isn’t free money, expect your mortgage payment to go up slightly after the deferral period to repay.

File your taxes

6.

Parents will see an increase in their monthly Canada Child Benefit starting in May. However, this amount is recalculated each year based on your income so having your taxes filed could hinder your ability to receive these funds after June.

Call your financial advisor

7.

Investments are down, a lot. If this gives you anxiety, a call with your advisor to discuss your portfolio and your goals will leave you feeling a whole lot better. You might even decide this is a good opportunity to invest.

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Pay your Life (and other) Insurance

8.

This is not a time that you want your life, or other, insurance policies to lapse on you. Most policies have a 30 day grace period, after which your coverage could terminate.

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Pause Your Goals

9.

Instead of saving for your goals, put that money in your emergency account.

Donate to charity

10.

If you are one of the lucky ones who have retained all, or most, of your income, please consider adding charity to your budget. Many organizations can get the money to those in need quickly and also provide a tax receipt.

Lindsay Plumb is an Accredited Financial Counselor with MOOLA Financial.

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April/May 2020 21

Families&COVID19 Helping children cope with stress during the 2019-nCoV outbreak Children may respond to stress in different ways such as being more clingy, anxious, withdrawing, angry or agitated, bedwetting etc.

Respond to your child’s reactions in a supportive way, listen to their concerns and give them extra love and attention.

Children need adults’ love and attention during Remember to listen to your children, speak kindly and reasure them.

If possible, make opportunities for the child to play and relax.

Try and keep children close to their parents and family and avoid separating children and their caregivers to the extent possible. If separation occurs (e.g. hospitalization) ensure regular contact (e.g. via phone) and re-assurance.

Keep to regular routines and schedules as much as possible, or help create new ones in a new environment, including school/learning as well as time for safely playing and relaxing.

Provide facts about what has happened, explain what is going on now and give them clear information about how to reduce their risk of being infected by the disease in words that they can understand depending on their age.

This also includes providing information about what could happen in a re-assuring way (e.g. a family member and/or the child may start not feeling well and may have to go to the hospital for some time so doctors can help them feel better).

22  Island Parent Magazine

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Music Amidst the Mayhem

S

chools are closed and parents are suddenly faced with the challenge of keeping their children occupied at home. Not only that, but many of us are now trying to juggle working from home. Spending every day together cooped up at home can be a daunting task.

Preschoolers and young children can get bored and restless when they can’t go outside or have play dates with their friends. And sitting in front of the TV all day is no fun, either.

Having activities in mind for young children is a good remedy and this is an opportunity to introduce them to the glorious sounds of the symphony orchestra. Research suggests that classical music can have numerous positive effects on children, including memory development, creativity and self-expression.

Several orchestral selections will appeal to kids. If your child likes drums and lively rhythms, play “Thunder and Lightning Polka” by Johann Strauss. This music imitates the sound of thunder and lightning through repeated timpani rolls and cymbal crashes. Encourage kids to march around the room and pretend they are crashing the cymbals. If your kids like insects and bugs, play “The Wasps Overture” by Vaughan Williams or “The Flight of the Bumblebee”

by Rimsky-Korsakov. Kids can buzz and fly around the room while listening.

If your child loves trains, play Hans Christian Lumbye’s “Copenhagen Steam Railway Galop.” This music recreates the sounds of a train chugging out of a station and blowing its whistle and then grinding to a halt at the next stop. Another fun piece is Leopold Mozart’s “The Toy Symphony.” It’s a cheerful, humourous piece

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with cuckoo clock sounds, bird sounds and whistles. For a complete surprise, play “The Surprise Symphony 2nd Movement” by Joseph Haydn. Turn up the volume for this piece as it has a startlingly loud chord that appears out of nowhere and your kids will jump with delight when they hear it.

Get kids moving to orchestral music. Play music with varied tempos as kids move and dance. Give them lightweight scarves to twirl and swirl as they dance around the room. “La Danza Tarantella” by Rossini and “Turkish Rondo” by Mozart are good pieces that offer a fast tempo. For a slower tempo, try the mesmerizing “Prelude to the Afternoon of a Faun” by Claude Debussy.

In the morning while getting dressed or eating breakfast, play happy music such as Mozart’s “Eine Kleine Nachtmusik.” While your kids are playing with Lego or puzzles, play Vivaldi’s “The Four Seasons.” Both these famous pieces feature beautiful string melodies from violins, violas, cellos and double basses. At bedtime, play soft, calming melodies such as J.S. Bach’s “Air on a G String” or Pachebel’s “Canon in D.” This soothing music will help prepare kids for sleep and rest.

Exploring orchestral music can expand your child’s imagination and inner sense of creativity. It’s also an enjoyable way to spend time with your kids during this chaotic time. Hopefully, the stress will dissipate when music fills your home.

Jerri Carson is a retired music teacher. She now spends her time playing the piano and cello.

April/May 2020 23

FamIlIes&COVID19

d i V ers a B I lItI e s

Pandemic Parenting

W

e parents have our work cut out for us.

How do you juggle working from home with parenting without support? How do you continue your essential service job when you don’t have childcare? What kind of assurances can you provide your child when you don’t know how long this dystopic reality will last, and you’re as anxious as they are?

Friends without children are posting on Facebook about Marie Kondo-ing their living spaces. “My house has never looked so clean!” Others are knitting, baking bread, learning an instrument or a language to combat their boredom. Those of us with kids are far from bored. Being a parent right now is a challenge. And parenting a neurodiverse kid comes with added complications.

Many neurodiverse kids receive (and require) support from a variety of people, either at home or at school: ABA therapists/behaviour interventionists, occupational therapists, speech language pathologists, respite workers. None of this is available.

The agency through which Angus receives support has laid off its staff. We have Autism Funding and Respite Funding we need to use up before early summer, and no services to spend them on. For us, respite funding is an appreciated bonus. Mike and I usually save it for summer and spring breaks, to give Angus support at camps. For parents with more complex kids, this support is their only break from round-theclock care. The loss of support workers also means the loss of sound-

ing boards, advocates and advisors for parents who are struggling. It means the loss of routine for children who require routine to feel safe and secure.

Routines. There are countless posts on social media about how detrimental it is to schedule your child’s day. Just let them play. Just let them be. For some kids, that is probably fine advice. For others it isn’t.

What about the child with sensory issues who used to rely on crash pads and trampolines each morning at school? The kids who needs to run and climb around the playground to regulate, but lives in an apartment? The kid who was finally feeling successful through daily reading support at school (and has a single book at home written to their level)? And what about our picky eaters—the neurodiverse kids who require particular foods—for medical reasons or sensory ones?

Angus eats peanut butter every morning; there is a single brand of straight-peanut peanut butter that is not “gritty” and therefore acceptable. But when shelves are empty, you can’t be choosy. He relies on salmon for a large part of his protein, one of the only foods he’s guaranteed to eat. When I braved the grocery store there was no fish for sale. We’re fine—there are other foods Angus will eat. But we know other kids with Autism Spectrum Disorder who will only eat five or six very particular items.

Some parents of neurodiverse kids have posted that they actually

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feel more able to face the pandemic than their friends with neurotypical kids.

“We are already socially isolated!” one mom wrote. “There are so many barriers to inclusion in our community, that our spring break wouldn’t have looked much different than it is now.”

But this isn’t just spring break. No support for two weeks is one thing. No support for months is quite another.

I was asked to provide advice, but I don’t have much to offer. There are a lot of opinions floating around social media about how to parent now. Besides the posts about scheduling being detrimental there are detailed posts advising people how to schedule full school-days at home. Parents in my circle have asked advice from Facebook friends and have received dozens of comments, all with contradictory opinions.

Angus needs routine and so do I, and so we have created this. Each morning after breakfast we go to school at our kitchen table.

Spelling, math, journal writing, typing, core exercises, PE outside, yoga. We alternate brain work with body work. I’m privileged. I work from home already, and Mike is working at home now also. I spend the morning with Angus and Mike spends the afternoon with him doing art projects. We converge for dinnertime. If we have energy left after he goes to bed, we can finish up projects then. Full disclosure: never once have I had energy left after Angus has gone to bed.

I had already considered homeschooling Angus. I had planned for spring break to be an experiment in learning from home. I had read books. I had bought resources. I spent six years before Angus was born as an educational assistant. I don’t feel out of my depth teaching him, and most of the time he’s willing pupil. That’s certainly not the case for all children, and some neurodiverse kids receive specialized educational support that their parents will be unable to emulate.

After days of feeling consumed by the news, of checking numbers and statistics, of working myself up about family members who are not practicing social distancing, of catastrophizing, I have decided the only guaranteed thing I can do for Angus is to be calm in his presence. To turn off the news. To tell him only as much as he needs to know. To assure him, and myself, that although no one knows when this will end, it will end. And we will carry him safely until we reach the other side.

Laura Trunkey is the mother of the amazing Angus, and the author of the story collection Double Dutch. Find her at lauratrunkey.com.

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Surviving Medical Appointments with Special Needs Kids C

olwyn, his dad and I run to the elevators and race to the second floor to Medical Imaging. Colwyn has an early x-ray booked, followed by a doctor’s appointment to check his spine. My untrained eyes have noted that his curving spine is starting to pull his rib cage sideways, making him look hunched.

We arrive, plop into chairs and he’s immediately called in. Yesterday, to prepare, I went over the plan for today. Colwyn, with Autism and Prader-Willi Syndrome, loves a schedule and to number the events of the day. Usually #6 is catch the bus to school and #7 is work hard all day. Today, #6 is go for an x-ray and #7 is see the doctor. On the way here in the car, up in the elevator and even as he gets changed, he runs through the day’s schedule again and again. This is what the uncertainty of change and an appointment can do.

The x-ray, however, is not terrible. The x-ray tech picks up right away that I may need to talk him through it. First, he must stand still, feet back, straight as he can, with his back to the large white background, chin up. He does it all, except for the chin. So, both the tech and I stand with our chins up, and Colwyn mirrors us. I get my first glimpse of his spine and ribs on the x-ray machine. Then he must stand sideways and keep still, By this time he’s nearly done, and without the background to lean against, it’s trickier.

I am draped with a heavy mat and hold his hands and we count to 20. I can see the tech is not thrilled with the blurry image, but she says “okay” and off we go, carrying his coat and shoes, down the hall to the doctor’s office. Again, he goes right in. Colwyn loves visiting this doctor because he has a table with a pop out piece where Colwyn can lie on his stomach and put his face in the hole. Last time, he screamed delightedly for the whole appointment.

The speed with which we go from x-ray to doctor’s room is impressive.

It makes me realize that some medical professionals have a good sense of kids’ needs, whether they are typical or neurodiverse—that is timeliness, patience, and an unhurried approach.

26 Island Parent Magazine

Within Colwyn’s first two days of life in the neonatal ward at VGH, his dad and I had to make multiple decisions regarding medical intervention. Born almost too weak to feed, Colwyn had a nasal tube which delivered pumped breast milk to his stomach, while we worked on getting him to bottle feed. Quite quickly, we were offered an opening for gastro-surgery to put a feeding tube in his stomach. We decided not to do it, determined the little guy would figure out the bottle.

My parents visited every day with different bottle tops to find the perfect shape and ease. In his first few weeks he had blood work, genetic testing, and was continually hooked up to an oxygen monitor. Within his first year, he had eye

One of the most difficult and regular appointments is going for blood work.

Due to low muscle tone, Colwyn’s veins tend to go deep and be much smaller than the typical kids. When he was little, we numbed his arms so the needle would be less painful, but still the veins were hard to find.

Sherri Water Chief’s son Landon has autism, profound global developmental disorder, cerebral palsy and seizure disorder. The hard thing for him with blood work is keeping still.

“I took Landon to VGH a few months ago,” says Water Chief. “They have a big chair and I was able to sit with Landon in the chair and assist the two medical technicians in order to keep Landon

surgery, four massively long needles in his bottom for hormone treatment and began daily injections of growth hormone. At the time, we were overwhelmed, but of course there are families that suffer much more profound medical interventions.

Though Colwyn has a fleet of medical experts, he is a relatively healthy kid with a non-life threatening genetic disorder called Prader-Willi Syndrome (PWS) which has meant the daily injections of growth hormone to boost his metabolism and help him grow, blood work to check his hormone levels, and appointments with other experts as things arise, such as the scoliosis.

steady.” She had to wrap her legs and arms around Landon in a bear hug while one tech drew blood and the other tech helped keep him from moving. “I gave clear instructions on how to help support Landon which included everyone remaining calm and positive in facial expression, tone of voice and body language, being decisive, preparing everything out of his view and in advance so he doesn’t have to wait.” If he has to wait, or too much is going on around him, Landon begins to move as he becomes more anxious.

Water Chief’s main hope is that doctors listen to parent’s suggestions on how

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to best calm and approach their children when it comes to medical appointments.

Colwyn does not like to be held down so I hold his hand so it is out of the way.

And often we play music. I talk him through it, we all remain positive, even as the techs are digging around looking for a vein. He’s got such a good attitude, but when he’s done, he is done.

Lucas, who is now 15, was at Stage 3 kidney failure at birth and 14 when he reached end-stage kidney failure (he’s had a transplant). When he was little, his mom Aleksandra, sat him on her lap for blood work, but as he’s gotten older, he prefers to sit on his own, choose which arm, and to answer all the questions asked by the technician. He likes being reassured that it’s not going to hurt.

“If it’s a new tech who starts overexplaining or saying things like it’s just going to hurt a little bit, just a little pinch, etc, I cut them off politely and just say ‘Nope, it’s not going to hurt’ and tell the techs to tell him the same, otherwise he feels anxious about the potential pain.”

Lucas does not like Band-Aids, so Aleksandra is working on ways to get them off without pain. Colwyn, on the other hand, wears Band-Aids on his fingers to stop him from picking, on his forehead for the same reason, on his nose to keep his fingers out, and anywhere else there may be a potential scrape. For him the Band-Aid communicates to others he’s hurt and to himself to keep his fingers off things. He has a wild assortment of sloth, cat-shaped and superhero Band-Aids for these occasions. Just this week I took to calling him Pickle Head as friends sent him new ones for Valentines day.

Though there is much to consider with special needs kids, typical kids who see fewer doctors and rarely have blood work done, may have surprise anxiety when they do. All families benefit from a tech or doctor who can listen and adapt. Small changes can mean getting the blood out!

Medical appointments can feel rushed, but if we can breathe and slow down a little, they go more smoothly and finish more quickly than if we are hurried, worried and wasting time on anxiety created by misplaced sympathy.

Yvonne Blomer is a Victoria writer and the past Poet Laureate of Victoria. Her most recent books are Sugar Ride: Cycling from Hanoi to Kuala Lumpur and Sweet Water: Poems for the Watersheds.

IslandParent.ca

April/May 2020 27

Summer Camp Fun Day camps and overnight summer camps offer children and teens a chance to take a step toward independence in a safe, fun-filled setting. For more information, please refer to the advertising in this issue.

Arts Calibre Academy. Active Arts Camps. Join us for a summer of creative, active fun! Exciting camps will engage children in music, art, crafts, and lots of fun and games. New activities to explore every week; outdoor fun every day; field trips to local parks. Camps for age groups 3 to 5 and 6 to 9. Register online at ArtsCalibre.ca. For more information: summercamps@ArtsCalibre.ca.

250-382-3533.

Join the Ballet Victoria Conservatory this summer for one of our fun and exciting summer dance camps. Our programs offer students with a passion for dance to learn from Ballet Victoria’s very own professional dancers in a fun, nurturing and safe environment. Students of all ages will have the opportunity to learn various styles of dance and to explore an inspiring world of creativity, movement and fun.

Discover fully accessible, Camp Pringle at Shawnigan Lake.

Explore a safe, exciting, outdoor community where active and healthy children have fun! Experiential adventure-based activities, develop greater self-awareness and build confidence. Join our Leadership Program or our teen week for an Ultimate Adventure. General Co-Ed, Family Camp and more. Learn to build positive relationships with the environment and your peers. Delicious food. Overnight or Day Camps. New or experienced campers, ALL families welcome, for a week that lasts a lifetime! camppringle.com Camp Qwanoes is a youth-oriented high-adventure Christian camp celebrating a 50-year tradition of excellence in camp ministry on Vancouver Island.

We are fully accredited and maintain standards of the highest quality. Choose from week-long co-ed camps for Juniors, Junior Highs, and Senior Highs, plus 28 Island Parent Magazine

Family Retreats. Seeking to encourage, challenge, and develop the entire person, our well-rounded programs include over 75 activities, stimulating speakers, music and singing, Bible study, firesides and of course pure fun! Qwanoes is an ideal place for fun-filled, life-changing adventure. For a free brochure or more info: 1-888-997-9266 or qwanoes.ca.

Challenger International Soccer Camps (staffed by coaches from Europe) teach a fun, technical, and tactical based curriculum, revolving around five of the world’s leading soccer nations: Brazil, France, Spain, UK and the US. Sign up and receive a camp t-shirt, soccer ball and player evaluation as a part of camp. Questions? Email sfrancis@ challengersport.com.

Join us for our spectacular summer day camps at the Cowichan Estuary Nature Centre! 5-day camps run during JulyAugust for children ages 5-9. Our camps introduce your children to the birds and animals of the estuary. We’ll explore the beach, clam beds, eelgrass mudflats, and Hecate Park. Campers will use scopes on the observation tower, beach seines, plankton tows, shovels and buckets to find out who lives here. The region’s only sea creature touch tank and a salmon aquarium share our facility with microscope stations, giant maps and an ecology library! Register at cowichanestuary.ca. 250-597-2288. coordinator@cowichanestuary.ca.

Highland Pacific Golf is Victoria’s friendliest place to play and welcomes golfers of all ages. Our facilities are ideal for learning and our PGA of Canada Coaches run clinics and camps for all ages. At Highland Pacific Golf young golfers build fundamentals and movement skill of all aspects of the game.

Enroll your child in our Summer Camps and watch them grow to love the game for a lifetime.

Join Island Circus Space this summer for a one of a kind experience! Learn a variety of circus disciplines including aerials, group acrobatics, juggling and more. Weekly full day Summer Camps will run through July and August from 9am-3pm. This is a great way for kids (ages 6-15) to develop new skills, make new friends, and leave inspired. No experience necessary, registration begins March 15. For more information visit us at islandcircusspace.com.

PISE Summer Camps focus on fun ways to develop fundamental movement skills and patterns that enable children to be active for life! PISE uses a combination of structured and unstructured play to help children learn to move to the best of their ability and PLAY their way to confidence, skill development, fun, team work, cooperation, respect and inclusivity! Camps are for ages 3-18 and run throughout July and August.

PISE.ca/summer-camps.

PSP Community Recreation Summer Camps! Sun Seekers Summer Camp (5-7 Years). Nature Adventurers (5-7 Years).

Fun Seekers Summer Camp (7-9 Years).

Adventure Seekers Summer Camp (9-14 Years). Sports and Splash Camp (7-14 Years). Top Chef Camp (8-14 Years).

Register for any of the following Camp Programs by calling 250-363-1009 or by stopping at the Colwood Pacific Activity Centre or Naden Athletic Centre Kiosks. You can save time and money by registering online at cafconnection.ca/ esquimalt.

Royal Soccer Club. With over 100 locations, we’re celebrating our 28th year of running the #1 grassroots soccer day camps in Canada. Operating all weeks in July/August, we offer a soccer focused morning and a swim and camp games for afternoons. Boys and girls aged 5 to 13 can register for full day or morning sessions with drop off and pickup times available at no extra charge. Call 1-800IslandParent.ca

427-0536 or visit royalsoccer.com for more information.

Royal Victoria Yacht Club’s sailing programs provide adventurous, inclusive and quality programs for everyone. We value sportsmanship, excellence and sailing for life. We strive to create a fun and friendly team environment and we’re all about creating community and access to sport. We welcome landlubbers, Olympic dreamers and everyone in between. We’ve got summer programs starting at 4 years old all the way through to adult evening classes. Join us this summer!

Theatre SKAM’s School of Performing Arts is offering full-day and half-day camp options for summer 2020. These camps are designed to encourage children to step playfully into their creative dramatic side. Collaborative group work, dramatic expression in movement and voice, creating simple costumes and props will all be part of this wonderful creative week. For more camp information and to register visit skam.ca/school/ camps.

Victoria Conservatory of Music Summer Academy. Immerse yourself in music this summer! Choose from programs for beginners to advanced students and emerging young professionals. Led by renowned VCM faculty and international guests, these intensive programs offer a variety of learning opportunities in group class, ensemble, and individual settings. Bursary assistance is available for all ages and abilities; deadline for most programs is May 15. See website for application deadlines. Vcm.bc.ca.

Victoria City Rowing Club

excels in providing high quality rowing experiences for all ages and abilities. Here is your chance to learn to row, get back into rowing and enjoy the beautiful outdoors of Elk Lake this summer.

Youth Programs 11-17 Full day week long camps and half day beginner, intermediate and experienced camps.

Adult Programs 18+ Evening Classes: Beginner, Intermediate and Novice Morning and Evening: Club and Competitive

website: www.vcrc.bc.ca email: vcrcprograms@gmail.com

Victoria City Rowing Club is a not-forprofit rowing club located at Elk Lake, offering introductory, recreational, and competitive rowing programs for athletes of all ages and skill levels. The Youth Summer Camps will provide a fun environment to build basic rowing skills. With two rows per day and a focus on sculling boats, the camp will be supplemented with games and activities to develop basic movements and flexibility. The YSC will keep the kids active and having fun learning about the sport of rowing! clubadmin@vcrc.bc.ca. vcrc. bc.ca.

Come spend your summer with the Vikes. Join our amazing summer staff for a week of fun! Develop skills, meet new friends, explore creativity and experience exciting activities in a safe and positive environment on the UVic campus. Half day and full day camps are available. A variety of camps ranging in ages from 5-17 are offered in four categories: Recreation, Sport Development, High Performance, and Climbing and Outdoor. Registration opens April 1: vikescamps.com.

IslandParent.ca

Calling all Fun Seekers and Summer Sizzlers! West Shore Parks & Recreation Summer programs offers exciting daily and weekly camps for ages 2-16. Cool Capers, Aspiring Artists and Sports Stars alike will make friends and have a blast with our awesome leaders. We also offer Roving Play Parks, Neighbourhood Nights and Wednesday Story Walks, all free programs at a different West Shore park each week. Visit westshorerecreation.ca or call 250-4788384 for information. Facebook: facebook.com/westshorerecreation.•

&

Pick up your copy of Island Parent at any Serious Coffee café �������������������������������������������� April/May 2020 29

Preschool&ChildcareDirectory ESQUIMALT

SAANICH

Island Kids Academy Esquimalt.....250-381-2929 High quality child care (ages 1-5). Enriched Curriculum.

Includes Music Classes and Character Development using the Virtues Project. Wait list being taken.

Islandkids.ca.

Camosun College Child Care Services.......................................... 250-370-4880 Quality licensed facilities on both campuses providing children, newborn to 5 years, with rich early learning experiences in a learn through play environment. camosun.ca/childcare.

La Pré-Maternelle Appletree Preschool........................ 250-479-0292 A French Immersion Preschool Program.

30 months to school age. Licensed Christian centre. prematernelleappletree.com.

Carrot Seed Preschool...................250-658-2331 Where children can discover, imagine, construct and learn through play. Wondrous natural playground. carrotseedpreschool.com.

If you’d like to be listed in the Preschool & Child Care Directory, please email linda@islandparent.ca

METCHOSIN Metchosin Cooperative Preschool...................................... 250-478-9241 Play Explore Learn and Grow in beautiful rural Metchosin. Morning programs available for 3 and 4 year olds.

Contact our ECEs at metchosinpreschool@gmail.com.

• Licensed programs, for children 3–5 years • Flexible part-time schedules • Supported spaces available • 2, 3 and 4 hour morning or afternoon classes Encouraging your child’s development and learning through play and exploration Fullobeans.ca 250-360-1148 E: fullobeans@snplace.org

OAK BAY

Island Montessori House........... 250-592-4411 Inclusive, integrated and nurturing Preschool and Before/After School Care programs. Lovely rural setting with a focus on nature and outdoor environmental activities. islandmontessori.com.

Oak Bay Preschool........................250-592-1922 Oak Bay Preschool is a co-op preschool, using a playbased curriculum with qualified ECE and ECEA. We use a balance of indoor and outdoor classrooms to enrich your child’s preschool experience. Learn more at oakbaypreschool.com.

Recreation Oak Bay.......................250-370-7200 Offers full day Daycare and half day Preschool for children ages 3-5 years old. Before and after school care for Willows Elementary and afterschool care for Campus View Elementary is also offered.

Please contact childcare@oakbay.ca or call for more information.

Child Care

Resource & Referral Funded by the Province of BC

Your community’s best source of child care information and resources.

30 Island Parent Magazine

Pre-School Junior Kindergarten PacificChristian.ca 250-479-4532 Educational Excellence to the Glory of God

Ready Set Grow Preschool............. 250-472-1530 Join our learning through play preschool located in Hillcrest Elem. Our caring ECEs offer an enriched Program for 3-4 hour, 2-5 days a week and help with kindergarten transition. heoscmanager@gmail.com.

St. Joseph’s Early Learning Centre... 250-479-1237 A Christian childcare centre offering daycare and preschool programs for 3-5 year olds. Children learn through play-based and emergent curriculum in a warm and nurturing environment.

St. Margaret’s School Jr. Kindergarten................................. 250-479-7171 Apply now for our Early Learning (JK and Kindergarten) Programs. Early learning at SMS is a curriculum-based program for 3 and 4 year olds. admissions@stmarg.ca.

Wiseways Child Care Centre.......250-477-1312 Established, quality, licensed, Christian centre for 3-5 year olds. Experienced ECEs, cheerful spacious facilities, large playground. Subsidized fees welcome. Call for a tour. Wisewaysvictoria.com.

Looking for child care?

Need help with the Affordable Child Care Benefit?

Taking care of children?

Need child care training?

Call your local Child Care Resource & Referral for free referrals and resources.

Victoria & Gulf Islands: 250-382-7000 or 1-800-750-1868 Sooke: 250-642-5152 West Shore: 250-940-4882 Cowichan Valley: 250-746-4135 local 231 PacificCare (Ladysmith north): 250-756-2022 or 1-888-480-2273

gov.bc.ca/ChildCareResourceReferralCentres IslandParent.ca

SIDNEY Sidney Preschool ............................ 250-655-3333 We are a licensed co-operative preschool with a philosophy of learning through play! Four and six hour programs available for children ages 2.5-5.

Celebrating 48 years! sidneypreschool.com.

VICTORIA

Victoria Montessori ..................... 250-380-0534 unique, innovative learning environment combining the best of montessori and learning through Play. open year round. 30mths–K. victoriamontessori.com.

VIEW ROYAL Island Kids Academy View Royal ..250-727-2929 high quality child care (ages 1-5). enriched Curriculum. includes music Classes and Character development using the Virtues Project. Wait list being taken. islandkids.ca.

❖ Comprehensive programs for Preschool through Grade 10 ❖ Delivering academic excellence through music, dance, drama and visual arts ❖ Outstanding educators, locations and facilities

JLC Victoria Japanese Preschool the only Japanese immersion Preschool on the island opens at Craigflower Schoolhouse. offering the best environment for preschoolers to learn Japanese language and culture as natural as possible. jlcvictoria.com.

www.ArtsCalibre.ca 250.382.3533 Castleview Child Care.................. 250-595-5355 learning through Play & discovery. licensed nonprofit, eCe staff. Since 1958. morning or full-time care. castleviewchildcarecentre.com.

Centennial Day Care .................... 250-386-6832 exceptional childcare and education 35+ years. Nature inspired, play based program. NeW central, “green” building. centennialdaycare.ca.

Christ Church Cathedral Childcare ......................................250-383-5132 eCe and specialist teachers provide an outstanding all day licensed program for 2.5–5 year olds at our Fairfield and NeW Gordon head (Fall 2019) locations. cathedralschool.ca.

The Sir James Douglas Playschool...............................250-389-0500 Fun, creative and educational eCe program for 3-5 year olds to grow and develop life long skills. Come play and learn in our bright and modern centre in Fairfield. sjdoutofschoolclub.com.

Queen of Angels Early Learning Centre..................... 250-701-0433 our Centre is a lively, happy place for 3-5 year olds where children are encouraged to be confident, independent learners in a nurturing and safe environment.

Sunrise Waldorf School Preschool ...250-743-7253 in a warm environment, this nature and play-based program enlivens and nurtures the growing child. sunrisewaldorfschool.org.

NANAIMO

Junior Kindergarten to Grade 12

Learn more today! 250-390-2201 AspengroveSchool.ca N A N A I M O’ S J K–1 2 I N T E R N AT I O N A L B AC C A L AU R E AT E WO R L D S C H O O L

DUNCAN Duncan Christian School Early Learning Centre.....................250-746-3654 the first step in providing your child with everything they need to become a confident, capable learner in a Christ-centered, community focussed environment.

International Montessori Academy of Canada ........................ 250-737-1119 elementary K–12. offers an enriching environment for preschool children 2-4.9 years with potty training. Nurturing young minds, keeping the spirit free. intmontessori.ca.

Queen Margaret’s School ............... 250-746-4185 early Childhood education Program. Co-ed nurturing curriculum to develop the whole child. healthy snacks and lunch provided. qms.bc.ca.

QUALICUM BEACH Little Star Children’s Centre ......... 250-752-4554 Little Gems Infant and Toddler Care .................................250-228-5437 mother, daughter owned and operated. earth friendly preschool education inspired by nature. infused with fun and creative daily yoga practices! licensed group care. enthusiastic eCe instructors. littlestardaycare.ca

PORT ALBERNI John Paul II Catholic School ..........250-723-0637 “Where children grow and learn through play.” We provide a program that will inspire development physically, socially, emotionally, cognitively, creatively and spiritually.

Nestled on 4 acres of lush west coast forest, our Award winning, Nature based program will not disappoint!

While firmly embracing the Reggio-Emila (Italy) Philosophy our dedicated team of educators use the environment as the third teacher as we encourage your child throughout their day.

Our purpose built facilities have been handmade using the trees from our forest. We have recently expanded to our new Spirit Bear Lodge located right next door!

Programs for Infants/Toddlers/Pre-school Age.

lexieslittlebears.ca 250-590-3603

BC Award of Excellence in Childcare & Prime Minister’s Award of Excellence in Early Childhood Education.

IslandParent.ca

April/May 2020

31

W h at’ sf o r D inn e r

Fun with Food Science

L

ooking for ways to keep your kids busy over the extended break?

Why not get them in the kitchen?

Cooking is a great way to spend time with your kids and inspire their interest in healthy food. It’s also a great way to teach science!

Playing with Pretzels

Pretzels are really fun to make. And forming them is easy enough for even the littlest of cooks. Shape them into butterflies, turtles, hearts or letters. They are also a great way to teach about the microbiology of yeast.

The Science: • Yeasts are tiny single cell organisms.

A single yeast is very tiny, and each grain in your package of instant yeast is actually a bunch of yeast.

• Yeast eats sugar and turns it into carbon dioxide and ethanol. This is called anaerobic respiration, which means it’s done without oxygen.

• When we make bread the yeast eats the sugars in the flour and releases carbon dioxide, which makes the air bubbles in the bread.

• To see yeast in action, pour about 4 cm of water in the bottom of a clear plastic water bottle. Add in 1 tbsp of sugar and 1 tbsp of yeast. Cover the top of the bottle with a balloon to trap the carbon dioxide. After about 15 minutes you will be able to see the yeast eating, multiplying and releasing carbon dioxide!

Pretzel Recipe: 1 cup warm water 1 package of instant yeast (21⁄4 tsp) 3 cups of flour 2 Tbsp melted butter 1 Tbsp sugar 1⁄2 tsp salt 1 Tbsp oil 1 egg Toppings: coarse salt, poppy seeds, sesame seeds, etc.

1. Mix the water with the yeast.

2. Allow the yeast to dissolve, then mix in the flour, butter, sugar and salt. It will be very sticky. I recommend coating your

hands with a little bit of oil then kneading and working the dough until it’s smooth and elastic.

3. When you have a nice smooth ball, coat it with a drizzle of oil.

4. Cover the dough with a towel and let it rise for 1 hour.

5. After 1 hour, punch down the dough and divide it into 12 small balls. Have fun shaping each ball into your own unique pretzel shape.

6. Place them on a greased baking sheet and leave to rise for 30 minutes.

7. Meanwhile preheat the oven to 425˚F. 8. Beat the egg, then brush to tops of the pretzels with the egg and sprinkle on the toppings.

9. Bake for 15–20 minutes, until cooked through and nicely browned.

Egg-citing Eggs: Souffled Omelette

Making souffled omelette is actually really easy and fun! It may become your new favourite way of cooking eggs. This recipe is better for older kids (9 years and older) because it involves using the stove.

However, separating the eggs is probably the toughest part.

The Science: • Egg yolks are a mixture of fat and protein, but egg whites are just protein.

• The protein in the egg whites can be whipped so that it traps air bubbles, turning them into soft, white and fluffy foam.

Adding just the littlest bit of yolk before 32 Island Parent Magazine

IslandParent.ca

More Fun Food Activities

Since the break is quite bit longer than expected, with a LOT of time spent indoors, I wanted to give everyone a bunch of fun ideas for cooking with your kids.

These are all foods that kids can make and form themselves. They may not come out perfectly, but they’ll still taste great!

Check out the links for detailed instructions: Roll your own sushi party: planningwithkids.com/2012/05/25/ make-your-own-sushi/ Grandma’s handmade perogies: fermentingforfoodies.com/ homemade-pierogi/

whipping will prevent the air pockets from forming properly, so make sure you don’t break the yolks when separating the egg whites.

• When the whipped eggs are baked, the air in those bubbles expands with the heat, making the souffle puff up even more. Then the protein stiffens, providing the structure of the souffle.

For 1 Omelette: 3 eggs Pinch of salt and ground black pepper 1 Tbsp butter 2 tbsp grated cheese 1. Separate the egg yolks from the egg whites.

2. Mix the salt into the egg whites, and beat with a whisk until it forms soft peaks. This takes about 5 minutes by hand or is quicker with an electric mixer.

3. Gently fold the egg yolks into the egg whites. Mix carefully so you don’t burst the air bubbles.

4. You need a 9" non-stick pan with a lid. Heat the pan on medium heat.

5. Melt the butter in the bottom of the pan.

6. Scrape in the egg mixture, smoothing it out on top. Shake the pan a few times to prevent sticking.

7. Put the lid on the pan and cook until the bottom of the souffle has browned and the top is just set. It takes about 5–8 minutes.

8. Sprinkle on the cheese and cook for 1 more minute to melt the cheese, then serve!

IslandParent.ca

Make your own pizzas: momtastic.com/food/cooking-withkids/522153-diy-mini-pizzas/ Traditional pasties: berriesandbarnacles.com/a-britishinspired-lentil-pasty/ Decorate a spring-inspired gingerbread house: thekitchn.com/gingerbreadhouse-22971175

Emillie Parrish writes from Victoria and Saturna Island. She is the author of the Pacific Northwest lifestyle blog BerriesAndBarnacles. com.

SummerAcademy2020 BAROQUE CHORAL GUITAR PIANO STRINGS THEORY VOCAL

PROGRAMS FOR KIDS! Piano

Junior Program and NEW! Mini Maestros June 29 - July 10 Strings Junior and Senior Programs June 29 - July 4 / July 10 Theory July 6 - August 6

REGISTRATION OPEN NOW

vcm.bc.ca/summer-academy 250.386.5311 Are you receiving or paying the correct amount of child support?

Child Support Adjustment Clinic

Did you know that it is important to review and adjust your child support agreement with your co-parent every year?

Saturday, May 23, 2020

Get assistance from our lawyers with your child support adjustments. We will ensure you are making the proper adjustment and that they are legally enforceable.

778-977-6551 legalcoach.ca

Saturday, June 13, 2020 Each session is 30 minutes for $50 plus tax. Spaces limited.

Call today for more information.

April/May 2020 33

K i ds ’ r e a Ds

Sitting in Our Storms

W

hen I was growing up in Ontario we’d often talk about how April showers would bring May flowers. It was a nice—and usually accurate—rhyme to remind us that spring was truly here. March and its unpredictable weather that would bounce between warm and freezing hourly was over. Now we could expect warm rains and soon very pretty flowers.

Here in Victoria this saying doesn’t hold as much truth. It has already been raining for months, and as long as there isn’t another drought, it will continue to do so. Flowers have also lived and died by the time May rolls around at the end of the month.

But this metaphor is also a fairly good one for our emotional health. When my oldest son was first born I read a book about the healing power of tears. More recently I was chatting with someone and she reminded me that the greatest gift you can give to someone is to sit with them when they are hurting and to remain by their side as they move through their pain, fear, and anxiety.

The ability to be there and let them just feel their emotions is a skill that we don’t always recognize and we don’t always act on it. Sometimes we just want to fix their problem for them. So the stories this month focus on the beauty of letting people experience their emotions at their own pace so they can come out of their “showers” and enjoy the “flowers” in their lives.

One book that captures the mood of this month’s collection is The Storm by Akiko Miyakoshi (Kids Can Press, 2016).

The drawings in the beginning of the book are dark charcoal images as the young boy learns that a storm may prevent his family’s beach plans. The illustrations grow

34

Island Parent Magazine

even darker as the storm rages and scares the young boy. But when the storm is over and the sun rises, Miyakoshi adds colour to her images. For ages 3 to 7.

Cotterill’s first book is This Beach is Loud! (Dial, 2019). In it a young boy is super excited to go to the beach—so excited that he wakes up his dad at the delightful hour of four in the morning.

Unfortunately the beach isn’t quite what he was expecting. It’s really busy. It’s really loud, and he really doesn’t want to be there anymore. Before the day is ruined his dad is able to help him remember some tricks to cope. For ages 3 to 7.

In What’s Up, Maloo? by Geneviève Godbout (Tundra, 2020), there is nobody who hops like the young kangaroo Maloo.

One day, instead of hopping everywhere, young Maloo starts walking around in a cloud of fog and sadness. His friends all gather round to try and find what’s wrong and help him start hopping again.

What’s Up, Maloo? is illustrated in Godbout’s signature style with whimsical pastel and coloured pencil illustrations that capture Maloo’s mood and the concern of his friends as they try to help him find his ability to hop again. For ages 3 to 7.

The next two books are part of author/ illustrator Samantha Cotterill’s Little Senses series. While they don’t specifically deal with sadness, they do touch on walking with someone who is anxious or nervous. Cotterill created the Little Senses series so children who are on the autism spectrum—like she is—can see themselves in stories.

These stories are also a great resource for parents or anyone who is looking for some advice on how to help their child or friend cope with the situations that may bother them, because they contain suggestions and ideas from someone who has lived it.

The second books is Nope. Never. Not for Me! (Dial 2019). In this tale a young girl is offered some broccoli to eat and she is not having any of it. It’s too “bumpy, too lumpy, and very jumpy.” However, Mom has a few ideas up her sleeve to get her favourite dinosaur, or rather daughter, to try something new, and Mom doesn’t even care if she still doesn’t like it. For ages 3 to 7.

Older children might appreciate The Dog Who Lost His Bark by Eoin Colfer and illustrated by P.J. Lynch (Candlewick, 2018). This novel is about a young abused puppy named Oz. After a horrible start to his life, Oz is adopted by a young boy named Patrick. Oz is too scared to bark, and it’s up to Patrick to help him get his bark back. But, just as the dog learns how to be brave and bark again, Patrick loses his confidence when he learns about his parents divorce. This IslandParent.ca

Some Bunny Loves You!

powerful story about love and friendship is told from both Patrick and Oz’s perspectives. For ages 7 to 10.

The final book is Goose Needs a Hug

by Tad Hills (Schartz & Wade, 2013). In this book Goose is sad, and his friends try so hard to find something to cheer him up. Goose doesn’t want to be distracted from his sadness. He doesn’t want to play hide-and-seek, or stand on his head.

Goose just wants a hug while he’s sad.

For ages 0 to 3.

Toys, games and puzzles for all ages

koolandchild.com

#102 – 2517 Bowen Rd, Nanaimo 888.390.1775

PSP Community Recreation Summer Camps!

This month, if the grey skies get you or your child down, instead of trying to distract yourselves or put on a fake smile, give yourselves permission to acknowledge the sadness. And then let it flow through you, so that like the boy in Miyakoshi’s book you can come through the storm, the fear, and the sadness and enjoy the days ahead.

Christina Van Starkenburg lives in Victoria with her husband, their two little boys and their cat Phillip. her first children’s book One Tiny Turtle: A Story You Can Colour was published recently and quickly rose to its spot as a #1 new release on amazon.

IslandParent.ca

Sun Seekers Summer Camp! (5–7 Years) Nature Adventurers (5–7 Years) Fun Seekers Summer Camp! (7–9 Years) Adventure Seekers Summer Camp! (9–14 Years) Sports and Splash Camp (7–14 Years) Top Chef Camp (8–14 Years) WEEK / DATE Week 1: Week 2: Week 3: Week 4: Week 5: Week 6: Week 7: Week 8: Week 9: Week 10:

June 29–July 3 July 6–10 July 13–17 July 20–24 July 27–31 August 3–7 August 10–14 August 17–21 August 24–28 Aug 31–Sept 4

Register by calling 250-363-1009 April/May 2020

35

Family Matters & Taxes A

lthough every family tree may grow in a different direction, one thing is for certain: money sadly doesn’t sprout from it! And yet, like leaves in the wind, it seems to blow away on everyday expenses, from groceries, to clothing, to rent. To find out more about Canada Revenue Agency’s (CRA) services, benefits and credits to help support families at tax time, read on:

Sing with us!

Benefits for families

Prelude Choir

Ages 7–9

Non-auditioned, fun and engaging.

Registration opens April 1

Recital Choir

Ages 10 – 12

Sing great music and build wonderful friendships.

Auditions May 2 & 9

Concert Choir

Ages 11 – 17

Share your singing passion in rehearsals, camps, performances & tours. Build lifelong friendships.

Auditions May 2 & 9

CONCERT

Glorious World of Song: Best of the VCC Monday, June , 2020 • 7 pm Alix Goolden Performance Hall Join us as we celebrate the best of the VCC from the past 19 seasons under the leadership of Madeleine Humer.

Registration opens April 1: 250-721-0856 VictoriaChildrensChoir.ca

36 Island Parent Magazine

Filing your tax return each year helps ensure that you get the benefits and credits to which you may be entitled. This includes the Canada child benefit (CCB), a tax-free, monthly payment that helps with the costs of raising children under the age of 18. The CCB may include any related provincial and territorial programs. When every little bit helps, these can make all the difference to those who need it most.

You may also be eligible for the goods and services tax/harmonized sales tax (GST/HST) credit, a tax-free, quarterly payment, which may include benefit payments from provincial or territorial programs. With the GST/HST credit, you could get up to $155 for each child under 19 years old in your household. Individuals could also receive up to $443, and those with a spouse or common-law partner could receive up to $580 combined.

Do you feel like even with a paycheque, you struggle to pay your bills and put a nutritious meal on the table?

If your yearly working income is over $3,000, you may get tax relief with the Canada workers benefit (CWB). Eligible individuals could receive up to $1,355 per year and families up to $2,335. If you are eligible for the CWB and disability tax credit, you can apply for the CWB disability supplement.

For information on these and other benefits and credits available, go to canada.ca/child-family-benefits. After you apply for child and family benefits, you must file your tax return every year to continue receiving payments, even if you have no income to report or you’re tax exempt. If you have a spouse or common-law partner, they also have to file a tax return every year.

You can manage your benefits with the MyBenefits CRA mobile app. The app provides you with personalized benefit information such as a list of your ben-

efits, the next payment date and amount, and the status of your Canada child benefit application.

Claim medical and child care expenses and owe less tax

For some, the journey to parenthood starts long before choosing a name, sending out baby shower invites, or painting the nursery. If you need medical assistance to conceive a child, you may be eligible to claim certain fertility-related expenses even if you don’t have a medical condition that would prevent you

from conceiving a child. Also, if you had eligible fertility-related expenses in any of the 10 previous calendar years and you haven’t claimed them, you can ask for a change to your income tax and benefit return(s) to include these expenses.

For information on common medical expenses, including those that are fertility-related, go to canada.ca/taxes-medicalexpenses.

You may be able to claim eligible child care costs if you paid someone to look IslandParent.ca

after your children so you could work, run a business, go to school, or do research. This may include payments made to a day nursery school, daycare centre, boarding school, sports school, day camp, or other camps where lodging is involved. To be eligible, your child must have been under 16 years of age at some time in 2019. However, there is no age limit if the child is dependent on you or your spouse or common-law partner and has a physical or mental impairment. For information, see Form T778, Child Care Expenses Deduction, which you can find online at canada.ca/cra-forms.

Get support for you and your child

Life happens and family dynamics can change as a result of marriage, divorce or separation. Your family net income is used to calculate your benefits and credits (like the Canada child benefit), so you may see an adjustment to these payment amounts if your marital status changes.

There’s no debating that raising a child as a single parent is hard work. The added expenses can put stress on your budget. To help out, you may be able to claim the amount for an eligible dependant. For more information, including how child support payments affect eligibility, go to canada.ca and enter amount for an eligible dependant in the search function.

Take a time out and file your return by the deadline

Add the filing deadline, which has been extended to June 1, to your calendar along with the playdates, appointments, sports, and recitals. If you are self-employed or are the spouse or common-law partner of a self-employed individual, you have until June 15. Any balance owing is due by September 1.

Most Canadians file online because it’s convenient, easy, and secure. Last year, almost 90 per cent of individuals filed electronically. If you file online and use direct deposit, you may get your refund in as little as eight business days. For a list of certified tax software products, including some that are free, go to canada. ca/netfile-software.

To get started on your return, go to canada. ca/taxes-get-ready. Don’t miss the latest CRA news and tax tips. Follow the CRA on Twitter @CanRevAgency.

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April/May 2020 37

CUtitOUt!

Quit Riffin’ on Your Kid

P

arents have the mistaken goal of trying to teach their children the shortcuts to becoming a high functioning adult. We have learned so much in our lives, how to get organized, to be accountable, to look after ourselves. If our child would just listen to our words of wisdom! Add this parental behaviour to the rest of the reasons kids don’t listen: nagging, pontificating, preaching, lecturing and giving instructions that they can’t follow through with!

Many people look back at their childhood wishing they had applied themselves more. Some blame their parents for not pushing enough, and while sometimes that could be true, it is more likely that those same people were just enjoying childhood.

Believe it or not, the things that occupied your attention and time when you were a kid mattered. You have to be a kid before you can be an adult. You don’t get the kid part back. Kids can’t sort, categorize and organize like an adult until they are an adult. Their brains aren’t wired for that. They are wired to play, and they shouldn’t be good at following through with instructions. That would be weird.

Relax a little and let your child teach you how to play—you might have more fun too. You know, your child is really good at being in the moment, that thing that you are trying to learn

to do with your meditation app. The great thing is that if you enter your child’s world and accept their immaturity, they grow up to be healthy, happy adults. That’s right, just love the little darlings where they are at and they’ll turn out just fine. Stop riffin; you’re annoying when you do that.

Accept this: Kids aren’t great at following instructions.

They don’t focus on things that adults think are important.

They are messy and do a lousy job of cleaning up.

They don’t get the concept of being late until it matters to them.

They have a lot of mistaken ideas about the world that time will teach.

Kids live in the moment.

They make sense of the world through play.

They aren’t supposed to meet your needs that is your job.

They always need acceptance, affection and appreciation no matter what.

So relax and value your children’s immaturity. Climb into the moment frequently with them that is quality time.

Dr. Allison Rees has two LIFE Seminars books available: Sidestepping the Power Struggle and The Parent Child Connection. See lifeseminars.com.

Cover Photo Contest Send us your most memorable photo of your kids or family enjoying summer on Vancouver Island. It may be featured on this year’s Family Summer Guide or Kids’ Guide.

Prizes include 4 tickets to a harbour Cats game a Pacific FC team jersey and imaX tickets.

Photos may be featured on the cover of either the Family Summer Guide or Kids’ Guide.

• Only digital submissions will be accepted.

• Send a maximum of three photos, medium or high resolution (preferably 2–3MB).

• Photos must be colour shots of children or families in Vancouver Island locations.

• Contest is open to Vancouver Island residents only.

• No professional photographers, please.

• Entry deadline is Tuesday, April 14, 2020.

• Winners will be notified by email by Friday, May 15.

• Winning photos become the property of Island Parent Magazine.

Send entries to photos@islandparent.ca 38

Island Parent Magazine

IslandParent.ca

An experience that lasts a lifetime!

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Celebrating our 70th Anniversary • 1950-2020 Summer Camps for Children, Youth, Families & Leadership Out of School Care • Community & Corporate Retreats Want to join our team? Visit our website for info on available staff and volunteer positions.

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CampPringle.com • 250-743-2189 • info@camppringle.com IslandParent.ca

April/May 2020 39