2 minute read
Sometimes It's Better Not To Ask
How many times have you been asked questions that leave you bemused? Not because you don’t have the answers but because you are amazed at the lack of sensitivity. Sometimes it feels like nothing is off limitsquestions we wouldn’t dream of asking others are often flippantly hurled at us.
Examples include- ‘Will you go again for the boy?’ asked while proudly showing off your 2 week old little girl. ‘Anything stirring?’ a favourite for the young couple. ‘When are you going to get married? Reserved for the single people among us. ‘Why did you break up?’ to the newly separated.
It is hard to believe but people do ask these questions.
So, what is the best way to handle this? And, do insensitive questions always come from insensitive people?
Our instinct might be to get defensive, to retort with something equally as insensitive. This will likely make you feel even worse about the situation. Try shifting the perspective. People can occasionally say rude things because they are at a loss as to what the appropriate thing to say is. You are still allowed to be upset or hurt but it might be helpful to see the intent behind the comment was not always malicious.
If possible, try to face these situations with humourlaughter is the best medicine after all. Humour can often defuse the situation- allowing the person to see the nature of their question or comment which might give them a chance to review it and rephrase. There are also times when no response is the best response. Saving your energy for more important matters might be more useful. Remember, we breathe about 20,000 times a day and we speak about 15,000 words a dayand we might need to become skilled at taking a breath and ignoring those insensitive words. The less aid the better is often good advice.
