Thank You, Vicky

By Alice O'Brien, Churchview Psychotherapy, Millstreet

Last month Vicky Phelan was in the news again, but this time for a final time while we paid tribute to her on her passing. Vicky was a mother, a wife, a daughter, a friend, but to the whole of Ireland, she was an advocate. She showed us that we need to fight for ourselves; we need to question things and not accept the answer we are given if we feel it is not right for us. She showed us how to keep searching for the rest of the story and not stop until we are satisfied with the answers.

Self-advocacy is a so important in all our lives. It is the ability to communicate our needs, to know our rights, to become aware of the systems around us so we can get what we need and what we are entitled to. Self-advocacy shows us that we can assume nothing and we need to question everything. Advocacy raises awareness of issues that otherwise might not be addressed.

So, how do we self-advocate?

Well, we need to know our rights and what we want. We need to express our thoughts and our feelings and we need to ask questions, remember that no question is too small or trivial. We also need to know what our priorities are so we can fight for what is important to us personality. For all this to be successful, we need to be able to communicate clearly, and make our own decisions, decisions that are right for us.

Vicky Phelan did not ask to be in the role that she found herself in, she did not want to be left in a position where she had to fight for answers to heart-breaking questions but she did it. She did it for herself and her family but she did it for us too. So we need to keep up her legacy of questioning, of not settling for less that the truth.

Vicky Phelan 1974 - 2022