What will others think? Who cares!

By Alice O'Brien, Churchview Psychotherapy, Millstreet

What would you do differently if you thought no-one could judge you? How would you live your life if you didn’t feel like you had to keep up a specific image, look good for others, or reach a standard that you don’t even like? Would your life be different if you cared less about what other people thought of your life, your decisions?

As humans, we are evolved to hunt in packs, to not be isolated, and to be accepted. We develop the idea that we must fit in at any cost. This can be very limiting when we allow it to influence the way we live, when we care so much about the opinions of others that we forget to think for ourselves, we don’t follow our own dreams, or we never get to discover our true passions.

There are several benefits to not caring what others think:

• Your life becomes a lot simpler. You no longer need to use energy or time trying to guess the reactions of others. You can make your own decisions.

• You gain a sense of independence. You get back a control over your life. You take the power back.

• You learn to love yourself. By doing more of what you want to do and less of what you feel you ‘should’ do, you are giving yourself the message that you are important, that you matter.

• You learn to live more in the moment. You gain freedom from future worries or past regrets, allowing you to enjoy moments as they unfold.

•You learn to rely on yourself for happiness.

Once you learn to stop caring about what others think you can begin to discover your own thoughts, opinions and personality. You can see that living becomes much easier when you follow your own path. Let’s be honest, you will never be able to please all of the people all of the time. So, give yourself a break, take a breath, and please yourself.