Back To School Expectations

By Alice O'Brien - Alice O’Brien Counselling, Newmarket

When Bruno and I go for our daily walks in the Island Wood, we are reminded of the arrival of Autumn. Bruno spends his time in awe of the falling, fluttering leaves and I spend my time in awe at the fact that I no longer need to worry or prepare for the back to school, end of summer dawning.

I know it is a huge event in most households, maybe you have a little tot starting school, or a moody teen starting into first year. Or maybe you have an exam student and you can see the pressure rising already. Or maybe, like me you have a student in third level, navigating the bigger, wider world.

I invite you to have a think about your expectations of your budding students as the academic year begins. Are you hoping for ten out of ten in every spelling test, are you expecting all A’s in the years assignments or are you looking towards a number of points next August exceeding a high number. In other words, are your expectations based on numbers, percentages and grades?

What if we looked at our children in a different light? Put different values and expectations on them. Maybe we could expect them to be kind, to befriend those who are struggling in the classroom, to call out bullies. Maybe we could expect them to stand on their own two feet, to be true to themselves and not follow the masses. Maybe we could expect them to be respectful to those who deserve respect- the elderly, the less fortunate, and the people who try to help them.

Most importantly maybe we could praise and value their efforts. Looking at the work they put in instead of the grade they take out. And always asking “did you do your best?”.