Say Cheese - Get In The Picture

By ALICE O’BRIEN Alice O’Brien Counselling, Newmarket

Imagine a scene far into the future; Your children are now adults, and you are all looking back on old photos. Perusing over holiday snaps of sunny weeks away with smiling children by the pool. Someone asks if you were on the holiday, which of course you were, in fact you arranged it. Another question about why you are not in any photos. Not a sign of Mammy by the pool, in the bathing suit, at the theme park. Not one photo. Why? Because Mammy didn’t like how she looked on that family holiday, Mammy thought she was too fat, her hair was too grey, and her wrinkles were too obvious. So, no photos of Mammy.

So, no evidence of Mammy in the archives. Not a sign.

We all have the tricks to avoid the photos, we offer to take them instead, make an excuse or find an object to hide behind. But, the holiday snaps you avoid today are not really that important today. When the events are happening, you are there, you are present. The photos are also not just for you. The photos are for the future, for the next generation. To remember how important you are to the running of the family. To look back on the smiles and the memories that you not only were part of, but probably went to great efforts to arrange.

Another important reason for getting into the picture is for when your children become parents themselves, it will be a great comfort to them to look back and see how you looked at that stage, the stage that they are at themselves. It will be a comfort to see you managing the way they are managing.

So, please hand the camera over and let someone else take your picture, let your children have a reminder of the person who cares most for them. Do not let your hang-ups remove you from the future archives. Your children see their Mammy, they don’t care about your wrinkles or your grey hairs. Only you see them so turn a blind eye.