I'd Be No Good At That

By Alice O'Brien - Alice O’Brien Counselling, Newmarket

Imagine the scene; a lady returns from work in the evening and observes the clothes on the clothes line. Haphazardly there, half on, half off. Items on the ground being eaten by the dogs, grass stained and needing a re-wash. On investigation, the teenage son, charged with the job of hanging said clothes on the line was questioned about the lack of pegs- the reply “you told me to hang out the clothes, you never said use pegs”.

This scene is a classic example of weaponised incompetence. If you haven’t heard of this term, it is also known as strategic incompetence. It is the deliberate attempt to appear incompetent in order to avoid certain tasks, to not be asked to do those tasks again. If you live with a teenager, you will understand this concept. The main reason for this behaviour is to pass the responsibility on to another person.

This type of action can be very frustrating if you are the person who has to take up the slack, if you are the person who ends up having to do all the jobs. Two ways to manage this in your home can be open communication and setting boundaries. Communicating your needs and the consequences of these actions can be a good starting point. Boundaries are beneficial for all involved, allowing mutual respect and avoiding anger and resentment.

So, now that you have heard of this term, you can be aware of it. You can repeat your instructions and keep giving the jobsespecially for the teens.

Alice O’Brien Counselling is now available from new offices in Newmarket. Please phone 086 1683518 or email Alicecbtforall@ gmail.com if you’d like to make an appointment.