Uninvited Guests

By ALICE O’BRIEN Alice O’Brien Counselling, Newmarket

Picture the scene- you are throwing a party, all your friends and family are invited, the food is good, the venue is perfect and everyone is enjoying themselves. You are having a great time until you realise that there is an uninvited guest after arriving. A loud, obnoxious, rude person who you do not like being around. So you decide to remove this person from your party.

Now, the uninvited guest has left your party, until you realise that they have returned, so you have to remove them again. Shortly afterwards, you notice that they are outside the venue so you ask them to leave that area. You put all your efforts into keeping this unwanted guest out of your party, you block the doors, you keep a vigilant eye for their return, but no matter what you do, they just keep coming back in. They keep crashing your party and continue to be rude, they even look like they are enjoying themselves.

But what about you? Have you noticed what has happened for you? It’s likely that you are no longer enjoying your party, you haven’t been able to speak to your guests or enjoy the lovely food as you are so focused on this unwanted person.

Now, imagine that the unwanted guest is a challenging thought or emotion- sadness, frustration or anger and the party is your mind. You spend all of your effort and energy trying to rid your mind of unwanted emotions, trying to push them aside, but they keep coming back, intruding on your happiness.

So what can you do with unwanted guests, or even unpleasant emotions? You can enjoy the party even if that unwanted guest stay in it. Likewise you can experience pleasant emotions without banishing unpleasant ones.

It might seem challenging to stay at the party when the uninvited guest is still there but with time and effort you can still enjoy it and you might even begin to stop being upset by their present.