Only The Lonely

By ALICE O’BRIEN Alice O’Brien Counselling, Newmarket

As we enter into February, we can’t avoid the day of love that is St. Valentines Day. We know it is a hallmark, marketing event designed to make us buy flowers or chocolate, but it can increase feeling of loneliness if we are already feeling a bit triggered by the presence of all the love hearts dotted around every shop.

Whatever is missed by you, romantic love, friendships or connection to others, or maybe it is grief, it is fair to say that loneliness can be hard to get rid of when it takes hold. The literal sense of loneliness involves isolation or being in solitude, but loneliness is a feeling or a state of mind. You can feel lonely surrounded by people if you feel no connections. There are things to do when these feeling set in, things that can help relieve the feelings:

• Find a balance when it comes to being social- it might seem obvious that the cure for loneliness is connection but too much can also be overwhelming. So, allow yourself to choose the activities you engage in, doing activities you enjoy with like-minded people can be key.

• Being your feeling out in the open. Accept that, at times you feel lonely. There is no shame in it, lots of people experience it. Talk to someone you trust who can help you see things differently, or suggest solutions.

• Engage in self-soothing activities when you are alone. Listen to your favourite music, read a good book, cook yourself a nice meal. All of this gives you to message that you are important and worth treating yourself well.

Another thing to remember around Valentine’s Day is another madeup holiday- Galentines Day. Galentines Day requires you to celebrate yourself and your life with all your Gal pals- and what’s not to love about that.