InvokeMe Photography & Magazine - October Edition 2021

InvokeMe Photography Magazine

Nici Gibbs Karolina Ferbei Fiona McConnochie Melissa Glanville Richard Dakbeth Lola Makower Jo Chua Robert Fischer Jamie Gibbons

O C T O B E R

E D I T I O N

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04 Nici Gibbs 11 Karolina Ferbei 26 Fiona McConnochie 34 Melissa Glanville 44 Richard Dalbeth

ISSUE

03 54 Lola Makower 63 Jo Chua 74 Robert Fischer 85 Mary Livingston - Column 90 Jamie Gibbons

THE LAST OF THE INDEPENDENTS Message from the EditorIan Moone: InvokeMe Photography & Magazine

Duke | 102

Nici Gibbs The skies over the south coast were overcast, with gale-force northerlies on the way – a fairly typical Wellington spring day. Not the most inspiring conditions for a walk, but I went out anyway and my spirits rose as soon as I crossed the road to the beach. Walking towards the east, I passed small landmarks that I see every day – the warped and uplifted rocks that illustrate the geological history of this volatile coast, the clusters of limpets down near the low tide line, and the compact mounds of wind-hardened coastal plants.

But there were also new things to see.

A strong southerly swell had pushed great weathered masses of driftwood – whole tree trunks and their twisted root systems – up on to the rocks, and stripped away drifts of shingle, exposing new seams of rock and scouring out the tidal pools.

I wasn’t intending to take any photographs, but when I reached Te Raekaihau Point a large log was lying like a shaggy animal on the beach, embedded with small pebbles and strewn with strands of seaweed. And then, next to it, a paler branch speckled with worm holes and marked with curling strips of bark like hieroglyphics. Out came the camera and I was obsessed for many minutes, oblivious to the rising wind and fractious gulls circling above.

This is what photography is for me – total absorption in the present place and time. I wasn’t thinking about the work I need to get done next week or the uncertainties and challenges of the past eighteen months or the random problems that typically fill my mind. Photography helps to connect me wholly to places – whether my own local coastline or unknown new destinations – by encouraging me to slow down, to observe more closely, and to notice patterns, textures and small changes in my environment. I don’t mind if the light is too flat or too bright, if the wind is howling, or if I have walked this same path hundreds of times before.

There is always something that catches my eye – today it was driftwood, but often it is the arrangement of rocks or two lichens slowly growing towards each other. Frequently it is seaweed – during the 2020 lockdown I photographed a pile of fresh glistening black kelp fronds over a period of several days as they gradually decayed to the texture and colour of soft green suede. Then it rained and the suede was studded with pearl-like drops of water – simply exquisite!

Although lately my photography has – of necessity – been extremely local, it has also provided an invaluable connection to the rest of the world.

I’ve shared some of my images on social media and, in return, I get a glimpse of what it’s like to walk every evening in the wild north of Shetland, or wander the bright coastal paths of locked-down Sydney, or explore the suburban streets of Seattle or Copenhagen.

In these isolating times I really value my interactions with this supportive community of photographers and artists who have so much to teach me and who see details that others might not notice or think to share. To me, environmental photography grounded in intimate observation is so much more engaging and personal than the ambitious, dramatically lit and highly processed landscape photography that dominates many social media accounts.

Today, once I’d moved on from the driftwood, slow drops of rain started to fall. After a while I left the coast and turned inland over the hills, looping back towards home. But it makes me happy to know that tomorrow I’ll be out walking with my camera again, probably along the same route, and everything will be the same but also subtly different.

Karolina Ferbei

My name is Karolina; I was born in a Russian family living in Kazakhstan.

During my childhood I used my imagination to escape unpleasant reality. You see, I was born and spent the first 10 years of my life in sunny Kazakhstan. After I was born the USSR just fell apart and Kazakhstan became a separate country. My family became isolated from our native country and the rest of our relatives. So my mother was struggling to move back to Russia and take me with her.

For the first 10 years of my life we moved a lot to Russia and back, while trying to settle. For me Kazakhstan - warm and sunny, was my safe place, where my grandparents stayed. Even after we permanently settled in Russia, we were visiting them every summer during school break. There was always peace and love, always summer and sunshine, always vacation. I was very sad going back to my reality in Russia, where it was all grey, cold and I had to face struggles of changing schools, finding new friends and passing exams.

So that time I used my imagination to live the life I couldn't. While I was a child I dreamed about fantastic worlds with magic. I didn't need real toys to play with (and we hardly could afford them), I actually preferred to play with random things and my imagination would do the rest.

Growing up I started to daydream about how my life could be better. It got to the point that my teacher called my mom to school and told about her concerns that I am not present in the class, I have wandering eyes like I'm somewhere far away in my thoughts. My mom was really scared.

Then life got more serious and I had to decide what to do after school. I never acknowledged that I have a vivid imagination and creativity. At school I was good at maths and physics, and art teachers gave me B marks, as my painting style was far from "standard". So I was convinced I had a technical mind. I decided to study engineering.

I've studied structural engineering for 5 years and worked as an engineer for 6 years.

I moved to New Zealand to continue my studies in civil engineering in 2017.

It was fun studying, as we had chances to use our creativity for different designs. But office life didn't meet my expectations, we had to follow codes and use standard structures, as it is cheaper than developing new designs.

My creativity was imprisoned within the technical cell. Although different circumstances forced me to go with engineering for a while, I kept on looking to the other side.

I thought that was my destiny, I can't do anything else, so stick to it. I had a decent income and we planned our lives and annual leave for years in advance.

Then a lockdown happened. All plans were crushed. We stayed at home for over a month. That time I tasted the happiness of freedom working from home.

I started to think of a way to change my lifestyle and do my own thing.

I was tired of pretending to work even if we don't have work. I was tired of reporting to everyone what I was up to. I was tired of giving most of my life to someone else and not being appreciated enough for it. I was tired that I had only 4 weeks of annual leave and no chance of asking for more. I mean that's barely enough to visit my family on the other side of the world. What about travelling? I just felt I was trapped in a corporate net, where no one would notice if I leave, they would just replace me and go on. I wanted more, I wanted to be a person others admire. I wanted to contribute to the world and let them know my name and who I am. That moment I realised I have to do it, it is now or never. So I just wanted to figure out what it is I should do.

I've never thought I could be a photographer. I followed many, and I admired their lifestyle. But I thought I didn't have vision, I forgot that I had imagination. But my partner made me think about it, he gave me a camera before and told me I should try to be a professional photographer, he loved my photos. Plus I already knew the basics of Photoshop from school lessons.

I've been inspired by many photographers I followed for a long time, seeing the joy and energy they get from each client, the freedom of working for themselves, opportunities to travel, and meeting people. I wanted to feel the same every day. But I never saw myself doing it, I thought photographer have to have talent, which I don't.

But later one photographer told me that you can develop a talent, it's all a matter of practice. The phrase was going around my mind all the time: "If you try you have two options – it will work out or it won't work out. But if you don't try – there is only one option."

At that moment I came across an advertisement of one successful photographer from Russia and her amazing course. Her energy just sparkled hope in my heart.

Hope that if she could do it from scratch, why can't I? I purchased her course. And that was the best decision. She opened up my eyes to the creative world, taught me the technical part of cameras and other equipment, and gave me good starting tips and tools for my career.

I've decided to give up my engineer career and pursue professional portrait photography in September 2020. And I started to practice Fine Art Portraits in November 2020.

I absolutely fell in love with the opportunities and creativity that the photography world brings. I finally get to use my imagination, develop my creativity and proudly look back and say: "I did it and I did it well". Sense of accomplishment gives me confidence and makes that feeling of wasted life disappear. Now I have a chance of escaping reality into my imaginary world but use it for good.

Model Georgia Kirby https://www.instagram.com/georgiar_19 Dress Isla Rose https://www.instagram.com/islaroseclothing MUA Tamara Mac https://www.instagram.com/makeupbymaara Model/makeup/hair Priya Wallabh https://www.facebook.com/priya.wallabh Model / Makeup / Hair - Cas Roycroft - https://www.instagram.com/casroycrofthairandmakeup Jewellery Crystal and Cord - Lynda - https://www.instagram.com/crystalandcordjewellery Florist Midnight Rose Floral Design - https://www.instagram.com/midnightrosefloraldesign Dress Little Yellow Dress Company - https://www.instagram.com/littleyellowdresscompany Model Alannah Watson https://www.instagram.com/alannahwwatson/ Mua/hair Cas Roycroft https://www.instagram.com/casroycrofthairandmakeup/ Dress wasn't supplied by designer.

Model Lisa Videlier https://www.instagram.com/lisa_videlier/ Makeup Alexandra Ohagan https://www.instagram.com/alexandra_ohagan_makeup/ Costume Marz Court https://www.instagram.com/from_the_dark_creations/ Dress Little Yellow Dress https://www.instagram.com/littleyellowdresscompany/ Model and hair Katerina Batsula https://www.instagram.com/katerynabatsula/ MUA Michelle Olwagen https://www.instagram.com/beauchelle18/

Model/hair/makeup Monique Emmens https://www.instagram.com/monique.emmens/ Dress Little Yellow Dress https://www.instagram.com/littleyellowdresscompany/ Jewellery Ethnic Jewellery https://www.instagram.com/jewelleryethnicnz/

Model KAITLIN BARNETT https://www.instagram.com/kaity_kat_13 MUAH Allie Preston https://www.instagram.com/allieprestonmakeup/

Model/MUAH Shandy https://www.instagram.com/impressbeauty_mua Necklace Ethnic Jewellery https://www.instagram.com/jewelleryethnicnz Model Rebekah Adams www.instagram.com/rebekah_adams___/

Image Credits

Fiona McConnochie

Hi, I'm Fiona McConnochie. I'm an amateur photographer based in the small village of Hari Hari, South Westland, New Zealand. I retired last year after 30 years as a lawyer and my husband and I moved down from Nelson and bought our place here in Hari Hari in January this year.

I've always loved photography right from receiving my first camera at age 13 but never really had the time to develop my interest. I also love bush walks and moving to South Westland with its gorgeous scenery allows me to perfectly combine both interests. I also enjoy capturing daily scenes here in Hari Hari such as the farmer bringing his cows in and the wonderful sunrises and sunsets we see here.

I especially love the glaciers (Franz Josef and Fox) which are just 6090 minutes from home. These glaciers are retreating unfortunately, due to global warming, and we may in fact be the last generation to see them. A visit to this area is a wake up call that we all need to take more action to prevent more climate change.

My photos are all from the Westland region. The Westland tourism industry has suffered terribly during COVID-19 and if my photos can inspire tourists (both from other parts of New Zealand and overseas) to visit the region in the future, that would be a great thing.

If you would like to follow my Instagram, it is @fionamcconnochie

Melissa Glanville

My mother had a huge box of old photographs when i was a child and we loved sitting together looking them talking about all the amazing scenic photographs of all the places she'd visited.

It is one of my most cherished memories and i knew i wanted to do the same with my children and continue the tradition one day, As time went on and my teenage years approached and passed i felt I'd lost myself along the way as I'd had some pretty rough life experiences to deal with.

I developed anxiety later in my adult years, and as an outcome i had to stop and re-evaluate my life.

I was at a point where I couldn't even leave the house because of my anxiety; life just kept throwing blow after blow.

A few years passed and finally after a diagnosis of PTSD, I started attending trauma therapy and started finding myself again, But I still couldn't leave the house without anxiety biting away at me.

It was so frustrating; I so badly wanted to beat it.

One day after an emotionally inspiring trauma therapy session my therapist asked me what could I recall from my childhood that I loved?

I remembered my mum's big box of photos.

An overwhelming sense of nostalgia came over me as I remembered how good it made me feel to see those memories in front of me, and the warmth of sharing and talking with my mother.

It gave me strength; I was going to make my own "photo box" to share with my children.

I decided to venture out of my comfort zone and take some photographs.

This was the day that changed my life.

I went to the beach and started snapping away at the sunset. It felt so good to be at one with nature observing and oblivious to the anxiety I was so familiar with.

When the sun went down i realised I'd not been fighting my anxiety whatsoever; I hadn't even thought about it.

This was an amazing release, an escape from my own mind and from busy life in general, it was so refreshing and calming.

Pretty soon i could see beauty everywhere in everything, something I'd not seen for decades.

I wanted to remember it all and share to everyone what an amazingly beautiful world we live in.

Photography awakened me.

Richard Dalbeth

My journey in photography started out with an iPhone 5 around 6 years ago after visiting a random beach. I was walking back to my car and saw an amazing view between two trees out to the ocean, I thought to myself that would make an amazing picture so took out my iPhone 5 for the first time ever to photograph it.

I then uploaded it to Facebook for the hell of it and started getting positive comments from people about it, I couldn't believe what was happening! It was from that moment on that my photography journey started.

I am completely self-taught and got my first ever dslr one year ago, a Canon 6dmk2.

Photography has now become my passion in life as I find it incredibly therapeutic and rewarding as I often get feedback from people saying my images mean a lot to them on a spiritual and emotional level.

It has provided this to me on so many levels too, there is no better feeling than finding something magical in nature to take a shot of, especially something that is unique to you and something someone else might just walk past and think nothing of.

It can turn a bad day into a great day too.

I love editing as well, just adding those extra layers of magic to a shot. I hope my experience might inspire someone to pick up their phone or camera that may have gathered dust and get out in the amazing Mother Nature to photograph from their heart..

" It can be a life changing experience."

Lola Makower A few years ago, I did a photography course which really set me off on the most recent of my journeys in photography which has developed since arriving here in New Zealand in 2003.

One of the tutors on this course asked each of us to do a presentation describing the influences and pathways which had brought us to where we were at that moment.

It was an interesting one as it made me think and acknowledge the huge influence my past had had on my present.

As a family, we moved many times across the world from Europe to Asia and back again. Unconsciously I was observing life around me with its colour and intense smells and people and the way they lived which was so different from my own. It must have instilled in me an irremovable curiosity which has remained with me all my life and a strong desire to travel and experience more of the same as an adult.

In my early teens I was given my first camera which like many at that time was a Kodak instamatic and I just loved the process of looking and capturing images of the people around me.

At the same time a great friend of my family offered me a magazine based on missionary work done in faraway places, I was back living in England by this time} It was not so much the subject of this magazine which caught my interest as the beautiful black and white images that accompanied the text. I was so moved with differing emotions at seeing these images that I wanted to be then what I now interpret as a documentary photographer. Unfortunately, I was dissuaded from this path and, and my life took quite a different one I went nursing instead got married and raised a family.

However, this wish of mine must have resonated with my father for on my eighteenth birthday he replaced my instamatic camera, which I was still using, with a beautiful Rollei 35S. This little manual camera kept my interest in photography alive and it never was far from me as I recorded holidays, trips and family life with it for many years; it is still one of my most treasured possessions.

The photography course I attended in the early years living here in New Zealand returned me to the full use of a camera in Manual mode and this has helped me so much in the art of seeing and recording things, not just as they are but how I want to see them. I am never happier than behind the view finder and know that it has been my refuge and my friend through some very difficult times during the past few years. It directs me to being away and out in the open air. Photography is also my point of interest in the world. I am always learning something new by reading on subjects that catch my interest, looking at the images of photographers and recently by gradually becoming, a part of a photographic community here in Wellington.

The enjoyment of being with like minded people I cannot express adequately in words. I just know true contentment during such meetings. With the advance of Covid and especially during the last lock down in August, I seem to have lost some of my usual enthusiasm, but it is returning as I link up with the photographic community. I need new challenges and photography is full of those!

This last year has been so different for so many of us and not being able to travel has been hard for those of us who like to and are able to. In 2019 I traveled to India for the first time. It was the realization of a dream that had been carried by me since seeing those images in the missionary magazine I mentioned earlier. I was not disappointed. I look forward to returning soon. I was very privileged to have an image that I captured on that visit purchased this year, and for this I am thankful, mainly because it is the first time, I have had such a positive response to my work, and it filled me with a confidence I so often lack.

I am also very grateful to Ian for asking me to present ten images here with this narrative of my life. I found it very interesting that though I photograph many different genres most of the photos which have arrived in this collection seem to be the ones that come solely from my love of watching people, my attempt to catch them unawares and then quietly moving on.

We seem to live in a time where much of the world is in conflict so with that thought in mind, I have included an image of hope. It is the image of a group of young people on the terrace of the Taj Mahal. There is such an openness in the stance of the young {Japanese} girl at the centre of the image as she communicates with the young women from India to her left. They in turn show their eagerness to communicate back. The young Japanese girl with her captivating smile, is standing between two cultures. She is looking out not turning her back to her own group, as if inviting them to join though they seem more reserved. You cannot fail to notice that she has chosen to wear a saree, almost a declaration of solidarity towards the culture she is visiting and the young women she is engaging with in this image.

"Please support the pwople that support us"

-Ian Moone

Jo Chua My photography journey began five years ago when I decided to escape the clutches of a busy housewife and mother and began to explore my passion for digital photography.

I think photography helps to slow life down, helping me enjoy the moment, refreshing the mind and providing a welcome escape from everyday life.

For me, photography is all about self-therapy. My camera is a tool to overcome my stress, my social anxiety, and as a way of creative self-expression. For me photography helps heal the soul. Helping to find more appreciation in life, explore the beauty around me and become a more confident and rounded person.

Over the last two years I've become interested in long exposure and lotus photography, exploring light and shadows to create a view that never existed.

Throughout the journey mentors and friends have shared their experience, knowledge and help guide me through this journey. They've helped to inspire me, to improve myself and motivate me.

My advice to others is, don't feel afraid to get out there and find your own journey. Another world of adventure is only a click away.

Before photography, I had no way to express myself creatively. Being a shutter bug gives me a perspective in more ways than one, it offers the freedom to express myself in new and creative ways.

Robert Fischer When Ian kindly invited me to be part of his his marvellous new magazine, he asked me to write something about how photography has helped my life and how it effects my view of the world.

Good question.

Simple answer: see below.

But first things first: Born in Munich, Germany, from childhood days, reading books was »my thing«. I was a reader, not a seer. It made me dig down deep in other worlds than mine. (Yes, there is an episode in childhood days also, getting an old AgfaCamera, my parents had, and taking pictures around the place where I grew up – a week or so. Yes, I remember it vividly, but I guess, the next week other interesting things came around the corner …)

From being a reader, I guess, I became a writer. I wrote several children books, two novels and a biography of Adelbert von Chamisso, who created »Schlemihl«, a famous literary figure with seven-league boots. In real life, Chamisso made a trip around the world with a sailing ship, being part of a scientific expedition in – than unknown – worlds. On that trip he never forgot to imagine, what the indigenous people think and feel, when they at first get in touch with people from anywhere else in the world, they did not even know it exists. (In those days, between 1815 and 1818, this was not the common way of thinking. The usual way then was to see them as the »wild«, »uncivilized« people.)

Sorry, I digress.

What I want to say: Not only was I »a man of words« – I also was deeply critique in seeing photos. I thought, and maybe feared, that you can manipulate people with pictures much more easier than with words. I thought, words tell the truth and picture can easily be lying.

Thankfully, I'm old enough now to know how naive I was. But that's not the point.

What I want to tell you is something a young woman told me in these days while discussing that matter.

She didn’t say: That’s not true, words can also be lying.

She didn’t say: Pictures can also tell the truth.

She only said: Isn’t it sometimes nice, being manipulated?

Manipulated by art, I guess, was the point. Her point, I understood.

Being someone with a critical perspective on photography, it may not seem the natural way of earning a living in – seeing photographs.

But it was. I worked as an editor in several publishing houses, mainly for travelling books, and I had »to do« with photography (and photographers) for more than 30 years now. I love(d) seeing the work of the true masters, I got interested in knowing more on the historical development of that artform, and I got great respect for the work of professional photographers who have to earn their living by making photos (not judging it, like I had and have to do).

And I never made photos by myself other than for private reasons. Making memories from my own travelling, mostly. (Later I noticed, this still included a lot of street photography, which is still today one of my favorite subjects in photography.)

I became more involved in making my own photos with my first iphone. It was so easy to have it around wherever I go, and so I started to make pictures all days.

The first good reactions I got was from a photographer I met in a Jazzclub I often go.

He is a very professional »Leica guy«. We both are often posting our portraits of musicians on facebook, so I recognised, he was »liking« a lot of them. I thought, oh, nice – he wants to be kind to me. Than there was an exhibition of his photographs, where he invited me to come, and in his introduction he said some kind words on me and my photos, which at first embarrassed me a little and than let me wonder: Oh, he really means what he say? He's taking me and my photos seriously?

From this day on, taking photographs became my main interest. Yes: More than reading – and writing. I bought better gear (no, »it’s not the gear«, but it can make things more easier), I got better skills (maybe), at least I got a more critique point of view of judging my own photos, now.

I'm still not sure what professionals think of my photography. But you know what: I don’t care. I am so glad of having explored photography as my own personal way of seeing things, of expressing it – and myself –, that now, for me, it probably is the best way of celebrating life.

So, yes, there is a simple answer on Ians question, how photography has helped my life and how it effects my view of the world..

It changed everything.

Juggling your day job with the Gobi Desert By resident contributor: Mary Livingston

So photography is your passion too? Every waking moment you are aware of the light and the weather, shape and form, tone .... and the morning looks divine....but there are 100 other things you have to do, like work; attend meetings or feed children; things that cannot be delegated or ignored. And the weekend? Well that's miles off. So whenever I read an article by some well meaning photographer earnestly advising that midday is not really a good time of day for the best results (ie my lunch break time) and that golden hours are the best light for landscapes (ie breakfast and dinner time for hungry kids) my heart generally sinks as the opportunity to become the next Ansell Adams slips further from my grasp. And of course they may well be right but what can you do if the luxury of free time is rarely available to you?

Over the last few years I have learnt that just as the best camera is the one you have with you at the time, the best photograph is the one you are able to take in the conditions of the moment, whatever they are. It just requires more thought, and a different attitude to make the most of it. If you can't go to the Gobi Desert (a place I would absolutely love to experience), you must simply make it come to you.

Its lunchtime now and I grab my camera for a walkabout in the city. The day looks uninspiringly overcast and a flat grey pervades.

It is cold and the mood on the street is one of hurried jostling rather than sunny lingering. A glass half empty sort of a day. Already I am noticing the effect of the conditions on people as they go by. Their jaws look set and their eyes unseeing. The buildings are muted with no contrasting outlines.

I am almost ready to give in...the writer guy was correct. But then I start to see things that I just would not notice on a better day. An unassuming doorway with a bulb hanging in it like a glow worm trying to entice in customers; exquisite detail in the stonework of a wall that I have never noticed before; the shape of a building from yesteryear that is tired and unloved alongside shiny newer ones; the reflections in windows that are silver monochrome.

Before I know it, the lunch hour has screamed past and I have a bunch of abstract, conceptual, new topographic movement and ICM images from the street that I can't wait to get to in the evening on my computer.

Sometimes this sort of excursion stimulates entirely new ideas. Other times it gets me thinking of returning to the same spot under completely different conditions or trying a new genre. Either way it has been a fantastic break and a chance to gain more insight and practice in this fascinating craft and its sense of infinity.

I have learnt to be in the moment and see what the day will gift to me. I have learnt how to adapt, no matter the conditions and embrace them as opportunities. These are essential life-time skills and I am happy because I return to work refreshed for the afternoon. All of the images I have shared with you here are from these sorts of urban midday walkabouts.

They are among some of my favourite images. The Gobi Desert can wait. For now, the glass is half full again and by the weekend it will be brimming.

What more could I ask for?

Jamie Gibbons Life outside the womb is tough! I've been out here for 45 years. I've always struggled, and I've got the scars to prove it both on my body and in my inner-world. Just so you know, I've lived with life-long mental health and addiction problems. I have lived inside a pretty much perpetual envelope of distress and chaos. Creativity never really blossomed out of me until my 40s, really. I would describe most of my photographic life as fumbling around with technicalities, there wasn't really much creative output, nothing I was pleased with anyway. Now things are different!

The artist that has arisen in me is my Phoenix. What a wonderful creature!

Writing is built into me. It was built into me long before I ever became a writer. It's built into me in the same way that digging holes is built into a rabbit, or swimming is built into a fish. With photography it's different. Once upon a time, photography wasn't built into me. It is something I've had to really work at. I discovered photography circa 2005. I have now put countless hours of practice into photography. I am happy with how I have progressed. All these years later photography is now built into me, I have made it mine.

As someone who has lived with great difficulties, I feel blessed with the creative output that has grown like a beautiful flower from the smoking ruins of my life. Photography to me is a great soother, writing a great releaser. Much suffering has FORCED me to be creative. I am thankful for the creativity I am blessed with. It often feels to me that my creativity comes from an 'otherworldly place'. Thank you whatever you are.

Both writing and photography nurture me and nourish me from the inside out, I absorb them like a sponge.

My earliest fascination was macro photography. I was then, and still am fascinated with how the tiny can become big. Since then I have studied various types of photography. I love abstractions and surrealism. When looking at other photographers' work, I notice. I have practised many hours of camera work, reading and editing. RAW's are cool, but I love the JPEG output of my GR3 and X70. I am fine with either major alterations postclick, or zero alterations. Either way, as long as it's done classy.

Photography like writing is so deep. It makes me look at, and see the world differently.

We are primarily visual creatures, and there is light all around us. After all these years I now see the world around me with different eyes; photographic eyes. is my life, photography and writing are rocks to me.

They are saviour's to me. I have lived a chaotic life and as a result I live in fear of losing my camera's and my other equipment. If I lose my cameras, I lose photography. I could still look at other people's images, sure. But me without a camera is like a night flying bat without sonar; I'd be lost. With writing, even if I lost everything, all I need minimum is a pen and some paper and you can get that for a very little amount of money. With photography you need a certain outlay. In the past I've had my camera stolen by drug addicts. Losing that camera was a great loss, like losing a hand. My chaos has also led me behind secure walls where cameras aren't allowed. Photography was always just over the wall, if you got the cash to buy what you need that is. I neither had liberty nor money, so I pined.

I see the world differently after years of studying and practicing photography. The view from my eyes, I get a similar sort of feeling I get when I'm looking through the viewfinder of a camera, only times 2 and mixed together into a cinematic screen; the field of my vision. It's like I'm always looking through a camera, even when I don't have one pressed to my eye and from the same camera-less eye I can edit with my imagination.

In the beginning all the technicalities and techniques were a major stumbling block to creativity. It seems to me with photography you need to learn theory and technique to a point where your creativity can flow unhindered. I have learnt the more fluent I am in regards to understanding theory and technique, the more my creativity can flow unhindered. So I practice practice practice and learn learn learn.

I never realised photography was all about the art of capturing light, that's why some photographers call a photograph a capture.

To a point I've learnt the rules of photography. To a point I stick to them although generally I don't pay them that much attention. I think it's important to photograph what you feel, not what the rules or your head dictates, and let it come from somewhere deeper down.

My interest in photography has led me to realise I've always been interested in light, ever since I was a little child, only didn't realise it. As a child when I squinted at the sun, it was mere innocence. It was so natural I didn't even realise what I was doing; using my eyes to play with light, to satisfy that something or other within me that craves this stuff.

Still today I like to play with light using my own eyes. It's the same as with a camera. I look into the sun. And just like with a camera I swivel my head in circular motions, to see flares and halos. They please me! If I squint, I see a kaleidoscope of colours. Myriad circles of confusion! It's just like I used to do when I was little, only now I realise what I'm doing. I love squinting at the sun.

Light fascinates me, and so, I am interested in things like light bulbs and street lamps.

Or to be more exact, the light that emits from them. Sulphur yellow is sublime to my eyes, and I love crisp white. I don't normally tell people about the light bulb and street lamp thing, I don't want to be condemned to the sad lands of ''train spotter'. It is a dirty little secret that I secretly love, but only in the background, I never tell anyone. 🤣

It is only recently I've realised that I have been capturing photographs that contain subjects inside the frame that are symbolic. For instance, many of my photographs have the sun as a subject. I believe that the sun is representative of the divine, shining light in the darkness. God, if you like. Birds flying high in wide skies, I believe, is representative of freedom of mind. These insights I have only learned recently as I started to look into and study things like archetypes and symbols. I had no idea I was capturing symbology inside my frames. I now do, and look for it all the time. There is a magnetic-like force that attracts me to photograph certain things. I believe this magnetic-like force is much more based in deeper meanings inside symbology, as opposed to the way the photograph looks visually. I am now always on the lookout for any deeper meanings inside my photographic frames.

I have spent my life bending reality by taking drugs, just so you know. Additionally, I now realise I have been using photography as a way of twisting reality. I love twisting reality. I love fisheye distortions. I love applying special effects. This seems sooo analogous with my drug use. Changing colours of skies. Creating distortions. Bending reality. I find this parallel very interesting.

It's one of my things, squinting at the sun, enjoying the view from inside my cranium, looking out through the windows of my eyes. Seeing the world through photographic eyes makes me wonder at the marvel and beauty of life.

I take photographs for myself, not other people, and I like the way my photographs look. I love it when I look at one of my images and I get penny-drop insight through recognising deeper meanings. I love it when I look at one of my photographs and get a ‘key fits’ in the lock moment. Often when I look into one of my photographs it has a calming effect on me like nothing else does except my other saviour; writing. Bless them both. If they were people I would love to sit down with these wonderful eccentric geniuses for a cup of tea and a good chat. I'd be happy to buy, and spend the whole day with them.

Just so you know, I am doing much better these days. Mind struggling, sure, but my feet walk free. My 10,000 distresses fan the flames of creativity in me. And they roar. And so I am becoming more comfortable with my distresses. It is fuel for my creative fires, after all.

If you wish to see more of my writings, rantings, photographs and other artwork, go to my Facebook page: Jamie Gibbons - Life Outside the Womb.

Bless.

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"I like images that make me feel incompetent.

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Thank you for being part of this new journey within the pages of InvokeMe Magazine and for supporting REAL people doing REAL things in the photographic world. I have created this magazine by my own hands, and with a steep learning curve along the way. I want to keep a crisp clean and not over crowded page set up that simply focuses on the story and the art not a bunch of glossy ads, colours and "stuff" that magazines use for phycological sales and allurement.

Our focus is not sales, not marketing, not page after page of useless advertisements but keeping a simple platform that focuses on the people in the magazines pages. All funds generated from this magazine go 100% into community projects helping people with photography programs that heal and help people see the world in a new perspective. We currently have the largest reach in New Zealand from my own page and will be happy to use that as a launching pad for photographers to be seen around the world. If you would like to be in the pages of our magazine I invite you to share your images and story with us at magazine@invokeme.co.nz Thank you ALL for being part of this journey with us and we look forward to helping you get published and seeing the magazine grow even further around the world together and shining light into sometime dark places with articles and inspirational stories.

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