3 minute read
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What an awful year 2020 is turning out to be for so many of us. I hoped that when I wrote my next article I would be able to say about all the places and colleagues I have now managed to visit; however, this is not to be.
I do however have a sad story to tell, and I apologise in advance but feel that possibly sharing my own experience with you all, may help to highlight what we already know as professionals within the industry.
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With so many people losing their loved ones during COVID and being unable to have the proper funeral they so deserve, I never thought for one moment that I would be one of those families. Most of you know how much I love my grandchildren, I mention it enough (a bit like Blue. I love my wife ), so I am sure you can imagine my heartache when I share my own sad news about the passing of our own dear little grandson Harlee aged just 11 years old, was who was taken so suddenly and unexpectedly. As a family we witnessed first-hand the trauma this awful pandemic causes to all bereaved families. We were fortunate enough, if that is the right words to use in these circumstances, to be able to visit Harlee in hospital to say our final goodbyes, however for those losing an adult I know it is entirely different. The wearing of masks to enter the hospital building, the questioning of “why are you visiting?” and “do so many of you need to go in?” when all you feel like doing is screaming to the world “don’t you know what I am going through!”. The arranging of the funeral, all done so differently, not being able to hug everyone for comfort and then the final goodbye when you can’t have that packed chapel that you know your loved one so deserved. It all seems so unfair in a world which has been torn apart by the death of someone you love and miss so very much.
I will say that everyone we dealt with from the funeral directors to the staff here at Southampton Crematorium and all my friends and colleagues in the ICCM and the industry, have all been absolutely brilliant, so supportive and this helps immensely. So, although his school friends and teachers had to wait outside, lining the driveway, keeping their 2 metre distance from each other, like little soldiers with my wonderful work colleagues forming their own guard of honour, we were able to say goodbye to Harlee in a special way, with visual tributes to music, although Harlee’s music tastes would not personally be mine , a web cast and a beautiful personalised coffin which we had a replica for his ashes casket and a keep sake box. I can honestly say that I am proud that I work in an industry where we can offer these little extras to the bereaved as they make such a difference.
Well that’s my story, there is no happy ending I’m afraid, but there is hope now for 6 other children who Harlee saved by organ donation, something his mum and dad will one day, when the hurt begins to subside a little, feel so proud of allowing to happen.
So, as we all continue to do our very best for all our families, as we always do. Most crematoriums are slowly increasing the number of mourners they can safely permit into their chapels. Thankfully, numbers of COVID related deaths are decreasing and it appears to be quietening down for everyone, which means we can start to concentrate on all the other important issues related with the industry. The ICCM officers continue to provide us with updates and advice and the webinars are proving to be very popular with lots of good information from speakers. However, we do have the confusing wearing of the face masks information from the government. Wear one in a shop when you are purchasing your groceries etc, wear one in the take-away, but if that take-away is also a café and you can sit-down and eat and don’t go to the counter, don’t wear one!! I am sure one day we will actually look back and maybe learn something from all this ….. I have to say as yet I do not know what that is.
How marvellous it is to see that the recycling of metals scheme has now reach £8.9 million for its donations to your nominated charities, what a fantastic achievement by everyone involved, don’t forget to keep nominating.
Take care everyone and continue to stay safe and follow the advice given as best you can.
Heather White xx
