March29Issue

Breaking IN News Report: Limbaugh COMING TO PENSACOLA to Host “Pensacola Speaks”

SPECIAL APRIL 1 ISSUE

MARCH 29, 2012 | VOLUME 13 | NUMBER 13 | INWEEKLY.NET | STOPPENSACOLA.COM

The IN proudly introduces

IN EXCLUSIVE

INSIDE!

publisher & editor Rick Outzen production manager Joani Delezen art director Samantha Crooke administration/ staff writer Jennie McKeon staff writer Jeremy Morrison contributing writers Bradley “B.J.” Davis, Jr., Joani Delezen, Hana Frenette, James Hagen, Ashley Hardaway, Rob “Bubbs” Harris, Brett Hutchins, Chelsa Jillard, Sarah McCartan, Kate Peterson, Chuck Shepherd

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winners & losers

Innovation is a concept that is rarely mentioned when someone talks about Pensacola. The Winners & Losers’ “Mothers of Innovation” advisory committee has decided to tackle this and come up with these innovative ideas, call them our “20 Solutions for 2012.”

GRUMPY OLD MEN: The Blue Wahoos

purchase two seats along the right field line where C.C. Elebash and a crotchety old fart of his choice can sit every game and complain that baseball isn’t worthwhile. They will be the Pensacola version of the old men on “The Muppet Show.” At the end of each game, the JumboTron will broadcast their dismal recap of the game.

BROKER WORKSHOP: In Pensacola, everybody wants to be the go-between, the ones who broker deals with the famous and powerful. Need to get to Mayor Ashton Hayward? There is a long list of people claiming to have special access. This workshop teaches you how to get in on the fun.

There is a special breakout session on name dropping. Remember in Pensacola, it’s not what you know, but who you know.

CERTIFIED LEADERS: A plethora of

African-Americans claim to be leaders in Pensacola, especially when there is money on the table. Some hold elected offices while others are self-appointed chairmen of

non-profits. But who really has street cred?

Who can deliver a crowd on an issue? We need a certification process to separate the pretenders from the contenders. Unfortunately, as long as there are gullible whites willing to throw money at them and black leaders unwilling to challenge the pretenders, Pensacola will remain divided.

PINK ELEPHANT HUNT: Certain issues

linger in Pensacola that few people are willing to tackle. They are the pink elephants in the room that people choose to ignore.

When it comes to economic development, the pink elephant is public education.

We have to be innovative and creative in reaching our minority students. The Obama administration gave our school district $57 million in stimulus funds. Unfortunately, the district used it to nearly double its reserves.

It’s time to hunt these pink elephants and rid ourselves of them.

SEALED LETTERS: Local elected officials

suffer from memory loss. They promise reform and innovation. However, they become that which they replaced. The bureaucracies, influence peddlers and the power of office corrupt their idealism. Every elected official should have to write a letter to himself on the day before the election, including why he is running and what he wants to accomplish. We will publish it one year later and see how his actions match up to it.

— Play’s Community Salute of the Month Series — In a world of hyper-connectivity, nothing is comparable to being temporarily transported to a world created by theater. Creating an escape to imagination, The Saenger Theatre, in Downtown Pensacola, continues it’s elegant tradition with new performances such as the Broadway in Pensacola series and comedian/television star Daniel Tosh arriving this month.

Play salutes the world of the actor and artisan this month.

iplaypensacola.com

March 29, 2012

Saturday, April 14 Cordova Mall 10 a.m. – 5 p.m.

On-site registration | advising financial aid | and more! discover.pensacolastate.edu Sunday, April 22 • 2–5 p.m. with Financial Aid An EA/EO Institution Independent News_3-29.indd 1

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outtakes

by Walker Holmes

MAYOR LOSING MOJO? Note: Publisher Rick Outzen is taking a break from his column this week. Muckraker Walker Holmes has agreed to fill in for him.

Everybody loves Pensacola Mayor Ashton Hayward. Nobody works a room better. He’s a natural salesman, especially when he’s selling Pensacola.

His first year had some bumps, but he steadily checked off item after item on his “20 Solutions for 2011” list. Mayor Hayward approved community centers, disparity studies and appointed advisories to tackle pensions and the port.

Hayward proved that he deserved to be named the IN’s 2012 Most Powerful Person in Northwest Florida.

Then 2012—what we call “Day Two”—arrived and the honeymoon was over. The energy of the frenzied first year was replaced with the realization that running the city requires a slow, methodical approach to dealing with the mundane details that turn grand plans and pronouncements into realities.

Some people may fill up on appetizers, but Pensacola will eventually ask, “Where’s the entrée?”

Not all issues can be resolved with an advisory committee, smiling photo op or press release. Some issues require legwork, knocking on doors and explanations that can be easily understood and conveyed.

Pensacola will eventually ask, “Where’s the entrée?”

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One such issue was the proposal to open the east end of Government Street to Ninth Avenue at cost of $77,800. The project included a sidewalk on the west side of South 9th Avenue that would be extended south and connected to existing sidewalks linking Bayfront Parkway and Admiral Mason Park.

The mayor and his staff considered it a relatively easy council vote.

District 6 City Councilman Brain Spencer, who represents the area, told the daily newspaper that he had talked to property owners who were in favor of the project. The slam-dunk got blocked when a neighborhood uprising frightened the city council into running away from the idea faster than Larry Johnson from a marriage proposal.

Anything impacting a neighborhood requires special attention, door-to-door attention. City councils don’t like surprises, especially vocal, angry mobs. Mayor Hayward and his team failed to take the very basic political steps necessary to ensure the proposal passed with minimal opposition.

Mayor Hayward may have had the best intentions for opening Government Street.

His staff failed to communication what they were. No idea wins unanimous support in Pensacola, but he needed to align himself better with the residents and businesses impacted by the change.

So the mayor’s mojo took a blow. It’s not fatal, unless these lessons aren’t learned. {in}

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viewpoint

by Grant Hutchinson

LIBERAL MEDIA BIAS IS REAL Rush Limbaugh had it right all along.

I’m not a journalist, but I did write a few articles last year for the Independent News. On the surface, most of these pieces were simple write-ups about upcoming music acts or profiles of local businesses.

But underneath was a hidden agenda, one shared by the entire American media—except Fox News.

Despite what others may tell you, the liberal media bias exists. And it’s more powerful than you could ever know.

I can’t say that I understand the full extent of the lef tist media conspiracy, or “lef tspiracy,” but here are four things I do know: 1) Every word of every news story is examined and approved by Barack Obama.

This naturally takes up a lot of his time, as he must spend most of his workday burying stories about his real birthplace and Muslim upbringing. To compensate, Obama leaves the day-today business of running the country to a team of illegal immigrants and abortion doctors.

2) All journalists are required to attend a monthly seminar and banquet hosted by Keith Olbermann.

Here, Lord Keith assigns every reporter a month’s worth of articles designed to surreptitiously undermine the Right. He then slaughters a virgin lamb and lights the Bible on fire.

The menu is imitation chicken bean curd patties, wheat grass tea, a $12 latte, and marijuana.

of socialist-terrorist professors, but they serve as a valuable reinforcement tool for those few who have not yet memorized the entirety of The Communist Manifesto.

Students who pursue a masters degree in journalism have the liberty of writing their thesis on the topic of their choice, anything from “Obama: Great President” to “Obama: Greatest President.”

I’m going to base my opinions on the only reliable news sources we have left—chain emails and Twitter.

3) During their senior year, journalism majors must attend state-funded reeducation camps.

These are largely redundant, as journalism majors have already been indoctrinated by years of instruction at the hands

4) When interviewing a Republican, journalists are only allowed to record every third word and can rearrange the resulting quote in any way they choose.

They are also strongly encouraged to put their fingers in their ears and sing the Russian national anthem, so as not to be exposed to any harmful Christian values.

These are just the tip of the iceberg—an iceberg that the AP requires me to tell you is currently melting due to manmade causes.

If you want to continue to have all your news filtered through the freedom-hating lens of the leftist journastapo, then by all means, keep reading the paper and watching TV. Me, I’m going to base my opinions on the only reliable news sources we have left—chain emails and Twitter. {in}

Grant Hutchinson is a freelance writer and owner of Hutchinson Communications, a local advertising agency.

Save A.A. Dixon Charter School of Excellence visit www.aadixon.com to learn how to help March 29, 2012

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lthough former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney continues to add delegates, Republicans are talking more and more about the possibility that their presidential nomination could be decided on the f loor of the party’s national convention in Tampa. If so, it would the first f loor fight since Ronald Reagan and President Gerald R. Ford in 1976.

Ironically, the favorite to wrestle away the nomination from Romney is one that puts fear in the hearts and uneaten brains of every liberal pinko—Zombie Reagan. Though “The Great Communicator” has been missing from the political scene since 2004

and no longer can speak, Republicans hunger for the good old days of the 1980s, when commies were hidden behind every bush and tax cuts actually worked.

What many people don’t know is that 40th President of the United States actually died on March 30, 1981, when he was shot by John Hinckley, Jr. in an effort to impress teen actress Jodie Foster. Zombie Reagan spent the next seven years feasting on the brains of Tip O’Neill, Democrat Speaker of the House, causing the Congressman to become more Conservative after every session.

The Republicans finally buried Zombie Reagan in 2004.

“We had to do put him in the ground under six tons of concrete,” said Karl Rove, advisor to then-President George W. Bush. “We had run out of College Republicans for him to eat. The final straw was when he ate the brain of Rick Perry.”

Fortunately, Perry survived the attack and was elected the Texas Governor, though he never recovered his ability to talk intelligently.

“We laugh our asses off every time he speaks,” admitted Rove.

Rove did tell the IN that he is worried about Zombie Reagan’s chances in a f loor fight with Mitt Romney at the Republican National Convention.

“There won’t be enough healthy brains in that convention hall to sustain the old guy,” said Rove. “He might switch parties on us.”

"The final straw was when he ate the brain of Rick Perry.”

-Karl Rove

IN Launches New Website: StopPensacola.Com

By Walker Holmes

he IN Media Solutions team is set to launch its latest attempt to capture more ad dollars—StopPensacola.com. The website where everything ends.

T March 29, 2012

“Want to attract the elusive redneck, illiterate audience?” asked Jojo Oylly, IN Media Solutions director. “Then get your message out in this weekly entertainment guide which will have more tattoos, pierced belly-buttons and gold teeth than any other local website—excluding the sheriff’s office website.”

The soon-to-be wildly popular StopPensacola.com expects to average over 2.7 million page views each month. To accomplish this, the site will have no more than one photo and two sentences per page. Its target audience is 22-39 year olds who need help figuring out how to spend their disposable income and allowances from their parents.

“Our mission is to have fun and to make sure you have fun with us!” said Oylly. “We just need your cash to make it happen.”

StopPensacola.com will have several unique features, including: – scrutinize crowd photos and pick out the smiling Ashton Hayward.

• FIND ASHTON

• MEETING CHANNEL

– view clips from Pensacola City Council meetings. Watch replays of Brian “Moses” Spencer walking out of a workshop, Sam “Free Speech” Hall using the gavel against Rev. Nathan Monk, Maren “Mama” DeWeese refusing to sit at the table with City Attorney Rusty “James Bond” Wells,

and John “JJ” Jerralds ejecting George Hawthorne.

• SAY NO TO THE SUIT – watch live streaming from Casino Beach. Vote who should be removed from the beach.

StopPensacola.com is another new advertising solution offered by IN Media Solutions. Last month, they launched Bargain Badger, an online coupon service for area businesses. In May, they will publish their new monthly magazine, “Belly,” that will feature the most prominent bellies in Pensacola.

“We will find a way to spend your money,” said Oylly. “Our motto is ‘If you have a dollar, we have a solution.’”

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Spring Sale March 24 to April 1

Join us for some great savings & great stuff!

argain Badger Pensacola gives you access to one mind-blowing deal each day. Enjoy up to 110 percent savings at Pensacola area restaurants, events, spas and retailers with our amazing daily coupon.

The power of the badger knows no end. $0 FOR A DINNER FOR 2 AND BOTTLE OF WINE FROM HUNAN CHINESE RESTAURANT $150 value for $0!

Whether you’re going on a first date or a 100th date, today’s deal is just what you’re looking for! All you have to do is bring what you want to eat.

Promotion expires December 31, 2011. $39 FOR A MICRO-SONIC INFUSION SKIN REJUVENATION TREATMENT AND LED FACIAL TREATMENT IN CENTURY $145 value for $39!

Feel like a Spring Chicken on the inside, but not so much on the outside? Let Etta’s Anti-Aging Center help fix that. Located behind the meth lab with the blue roof.

Promotion lasts as long as the meth lab is open.

50 PERCENT OFF A COMPLETE GOLD GRILL TREATMENT AT GARNETT CIRCLE DENTAL ARTS $200 value for $100!

Tame your teeth into a straight line that shines! Bail bonds available for family members.

Promotion expires April 3, 2012.

HALF-OFF PASSES TO THE PENSACOLA WHITE FESTIVAL! $35 value for $17!

The festival formerly known as Springfest is back and whiter and more uncool than ever. With today’s deal see four artists—Wild Cherry, KC & The Sunshine Band, Survivor and Christopher Cross—for just $17 or get an allaccess pass for $75. Pensacola White Festival is May 1 to May 5 and takes place on seven stages at University Mall.

Promotion expires April 2, 2012.

BOX OF MEAT FOR LESS THAN $5 $40 value for $4.99 Kiss the cook! With the exception of badgers, Bargain Badger can’t get enough meat, especially with his new grill. And that’s why he brings you today’s deal: $4.99 for $40 worth of any fresh cut meat at RoadKill Meats! Extra $5 charge for removal of tire tracks Promotion lasts as long as Mobile Highway is open.

March 29, 2012

$49 FOR THE OUTLAWS TRAILER PARK EXTREME TOUR $100 value for $49 Friends or family coming to town this summer?

Here’s the perfect solution to finding something fun to do with them while they’re here—touring the trailer parks of the west Escambia County with a special narration by Commissioner Gene Valentino. The narration is actually longer than the tour, but you get to keep the 8-track.

Valid May 1 to September 1, 2012.

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$10 FOR A ONE DAY MEMBERSHIP TO GUIDO’S GYM 30-minute non-workout ($39 value)!

Experts say exercising every day for at least 30 minutes will help adults maintain a healthy weight and lower the risk of heart disease, osteoporosis, diabetes and hypertension. Pay Guido and he will do the exercise for you. Skip a payment—well, you don’t want to do that. Guido’s customers are customers for life.

Promotion expires when you do.

54 PERCENT OFF HOUSE CLEANING FROM NOT MY HUSBAND CLEANINGS $120 value for $55!

Time is precious, and Bargain Badger would rather spend his with family and friends than vacuuming and polishing floors. Not My Husband Cleanings does the dirty work so you don’t have to – cleaning both residential homes and commercial properties and offices.

They’ll even do your laundry and errands! When you see their spotless results, you’ll never want to lift a dust cloth again.

Valid until May 31, 2012.

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Exclusive: Pensacola City Council Tweets

By Walker Holmes

010 1

Using the lost college journals of the late Apple founder Steve Jobs, the IN figured out how to hack into the cell phones of the Pensacola City Council and captured their tweets during a recent city council meeting.

Sam Hall Five or six? How many hours will this meeting last?

P.C. Wu Why did I run for another term?

John Jerralds Remember that time at band camp when I lost my clarinet and they made me play the kazoo. Why did the Blue Wahoos make their mascot a creature

Sherri Myers E#4rf… How do I work this thing?

Brian Spencer Why don’t we paint this room crimson? And those curtains…

Larry B. Johnson WTF is she talking about????

Ronald Townsend Zzzzzzzz

John Jerralds ber 33? It’s my turn to speak next, what should I talk about? Hawthorne? Man, he’s big, but I’m fast. Why doesn’t he wear socks? I bet he wou

John Jerralds that’s also a kazoo. Are they mocking me? I hate baseball. I was never picked for any teams and the pitcher would always hit me with the bas

Sam Hall Can I use the gavel now?

Megan B. Pratt What would Al Coby do?

Ronald Townsend Guess I better turn on my computer.

Brian Spencer What’s the special at Jackson’s tonight?

Megan Pratt I could do a much better job than these bozos.

Sam Hall Can I use the gavel? He’s not wearing a clerical collar.

John Jerralds l’d wear white socks. I’m going to get this council for making me speak last. I’m going to give them a history lesson, then a civil rights le

John Jerralds eball. Why’s the baseball white? It should be black.

Hate white baseballs. At least 33 percent of the baseballs should be black. Why is num

Larry B. Johnson What did Ashton want to say? Yes or no?

Larry B. Johnson That chick on the second row is cute.

Maren Deweese Come on, LB. Vote so I know how to vote.

Maren Deweese If he’s for it, I’m against it.

Larry B. Johnson Yes or no? Yes or no? Yes or no?

Ronald Townsend Is it too early to leave for the restroom?

Sherri Myers Why do I keep dialing Publix?

inweekly.net

John Jerralds sson, then I will talk about diversity. Then I will ask what the motion is and start all over again. That will teach them to not elect me co

Vote for us F lorida Be ac h Bars Live Music Madness In

Thursday 3/29 John Hart & Fatty Waters

Ronald Townsend This Minesweeper game is hard.

Friday 3/30 30 x 90

Larry B. Johnson Yes or no?

Sam Hall Do I have to recognize Sherri again?

Maren Deweese Come on vote, Larry

Brian Spencer Why is Larry sweating so much?

John Jerralds uncil president. I deserved it. I’m older, blacker and have been on the council more. Plus I have a mustache. Does anybody know how long it

F

P.C. Wu I miss Mike Wiggins.

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Tuesday 4/3 Joey Gilmore

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Megan Pratt The babysitting bill is going to be expensive. Wait, it’s my turn to ramble.

P.C. Wu Did I remember to put the lock on my bike?

Ronald Townsend Well, I’m done. What excuse can I use to leave?

Larry B. Johnson Yes, that’s right. It’s yes.

Maren Deweese No

Sam Hall 12 more agenda items. Damn!

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“From day one, I have believed in the Pen-

ola, pensions and urban redesacola tradition of having velopment. ensacola Consistent Mayor someone else to blame if with his 20 Ashton an idea goes wrong Solut ions Hayward for 2011, announced today ayor shton ayward M a y o r that he has formed Hay wa rd a 27-member Advihas encouraged the committee to desory Advisory Committee to guide the velop 13 advisory committees. continued growth and development of “The City has hired consultants, Pensacola’s advisory committees.

Over a nine-month period beginning formed blue ribbon task forces and apin April, the committee will be tasked pointed committees for long decades,” with assisting the Mayor in advising Mayor Hayward said, “but some peowhat should be his next advisory. To ple were left out. This is a tremendous date, Mayor Hayward has established opportunity to take action and appoint advisory committees for his transition, everyone to a committee. We’re seethe west side of the city, Port of Pensac- ing some very positive things happen-

M

A

H

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ing in downtown and along our waterfront, but we have a limited window of time to capitalize on our present momentum before more people move out of Pensacola.”

Within minutes of the announcement, Pensacola Councilwoman Megan Pratt expressed her concerns. “I’m not one for numbers,” said Pratt, whose doctorate is from Massachusetts Institute of Technology, “but I don’t think the Advisory Advisory Committee should count towards the 20 needed.

The mayor should instruct the group to create 14 committees, not 13.”

Other council members were very supportive.

“As a downtown resident, business owner and a member of three advisories, I’m excited to see Mayor

Hayward shift focus from the planning phase for advisory committees to taking action,” said Brian Spencer, chairman of the Community Redevelopment Agency. “This is a great opportunity to find my wife Crystal something to do.”

Much like the advisory committees on port and pension issues established last year by Mayor Hayward, the Advisory Advisory Committee will be asked to produce a report outlining specific recommendations.

“It’s my hope that this committee can be a springboard and catalyst for further growth and investment in downtown Pensacola,” Hayward said.

“From day one, I have believed in the Pensacola tradition of having someone else to blame if an idea goes wrong.”

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Where barriers are broken and miracles happen.

which changes constantly—contractor, diversity expert to hot dog franchisor.

Max Kellerman, of HBO, occasionally mentions him as a potential pound-for-pound Number 1 a few years down the line.

Hawthorne has three straight victories over former champions Scott Davison, Oliver Darden and Audra Carter. He is 18 inches taller, and arguably stronger, than Jerralds, but is considered less polished than his opponent.

The bout was considered almost even odds, but after Hawthorne’s somewhat inconsistent performance against Cadillac Banks, who had just been rocked by Commissioner Grover Robinson, the odds are now close to 3-1 in favor of Jerralds.

This is the biggest fight of both boxers’ careers, and we will learn a great many things when they step into the ring together in the first major fight of 2012.

t’s a boxing match for the ages: Pensacola City Councilman John Jerralds versus Gulf Coast African-American Chamber President George Hawthorne. The fight will be held April 1 at 9 p.m. on the corner of Belmont and DeVilliers streets. Former boxing champion Roy Jones, Jr. has agreed to be the celebrity referee.

“George is a big man, but John is quick and wiry,” said Jones. The boxing champ said that he expects Hawthorne to be the aggressor, but he doesn’t count out the city councilman. “Jerralds will use his ‘rope-a-dope’ and ‘Ali shuffle’ to baffle Hawthorne.”

For many, this is the match they’ve been looking forward to for over a year. John “Teacher” Jerralds, the elder statesman of elected officials in Northwest Florida, may be the best black politician not Height named May. He is ranked Weight ninth among area politicians, pound-for-pound.

Reach Jerralds is neither Chest large, (just 5’6”), nor Waist strong (only 1 KO in over a decade of politics) for Biceps his division, but has a treNeck mendous all-around gift Wrist for gab and finds a new Calf way to slip out of trouble in every fight.

Ankle George “Tree Top” Thigh Hawthorne is a newcomer Fist to the area, but has quickly risen to the top of his field, Forearm March 29, 2012

George Hawthorne

John Jerralds

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our years after its controversial host retired and Cumulus Broadcasting cancelled the show, “Pensacola Speaks” returns to its afternoon drive slot on WCOA 1370 AM with a new host—Rush Limbaugh, the longrunning, top-rated talk radio host whose program is nationally syndicated

by Cumulus’ rival, ush is one Clear Channel Comof my favorite munications.

The move is bands counter to other Cuim anborn mulus stations that have been dropping Limbaugh after the controversy over him calling Georgetown University law student Sandra Fluke a “slut” and a “prostitute,” after she testified on contraceptives before a committee of House Democrats.

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“R

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“The other stations are positioning Huckabee as the safe, non-dangerous alternative to Rush and saying to station owners, ‘If you are looking for conservative content, we want you to consider our guy instead of theirs,’” said one radio expert who spoke on condition of anonymity. “Based on the local rates, Pensacola listeners are still trying figure out how a $20-per-trick hooker can afford law school.”

Long-time “Pensacola Speaks” host Luke McCoy retired Dec. 19, 2008. It was his second retirement in 15 months. McCoy claimed the first retirement was because he had “made some powerful enemies, and I thought it best for the station and all concerned that I step aside.”

McCoy opposed the Community Maritime Park and most progressive ideas, such as women speaking in public and zippers. He founded the organization WASPO (“We Are Seriously Pissed Off”) in opposition to il-

legal immigration.

“Following Luke isn’t an easy task,” said Limbaugh, who was speaking from his yacht. “We both are common men serving the same intellectual discourse. He was a real pioneer.”

Limbaugh has won numerous awards, including conservative magazine Human Events’ 2007 Man of the Year, one of TV Guide’s Top 10 Most Fascinating People of 2008 and the Conservative Political Action Conference’s “Defender of the Constitution Award.” He is credited with the Republican Party’s “resurgence” in the wake of the 2008 election of President Barack Obama.

WCOA spokesman Don Parker told the IN that he was excited to have Rush Limbaugh join the broadcast team. “We expect him to make coffee like everyone else.”

“Rush is one of my favorite bands,” added Parker’s Morning Show co-host Jim Sanborn.

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t doesn’t appear the Escambia County School District is going to be jumping on the trend of computers in school offices any time soon.

“If this was just about being more efficient, we’d be all over it,” said Dob Ross, the district’s word director, during a March 22 workshop.

The City of Pensacola is investing heavily in computers and Microsoft Word. It is also committing to considerable infrastructure in order to begin switching all secretaries to the equipment. Mayor Ashton Hayward had mandated all typewriters by demolished by 2013. The city has encouraged the school district to begin switching so that they could save money in a volume purchase.

“From day one, I wanted to do a way with all the typewriters,” said Mayor Hayward when asked about the initiative. “The whole place smelled like white-out when I walked on the seventh floor.”

Ross reported to the Escambia County School Board that computers, while cheaper over the long run, were not a good fit for the fifth largest inventory of school typewriters in the country.

“We’ve looked at this issue top to bottom and far and wide,” he told them.

Ross warned the board against becoming “totally infatuated with a new idea.” He suggested the district wait and see how the computer industry grew and changed before committing.

“Without putting any numbers to it, you already know the cost of labor is going to be more expensive,” Ross told the board pulling out an slide ruler to do the calculations Ross also spoke about work condition concerns surrounding the computer industry.

He said that as the industry grew he suspected it would be creating factories in foreign countries that forced children to build their equipment. The word director suggested waiting to see how such regulations would affect cost, if the companies had to make their computers in the United States.

“See what happens with regulation, see what happens with the cost,” he said. “See what happens to all the things we are interested in.”

Escambia County School Superintendent Malcolm Thomas said the district could reconsider in the future. It didn’t bother him that this would be his second rejection of a proposal from the City of Pensacola—the first being the natural gas-powered buses.

“Right now, other people’s ideas just don’t work for us,” he said. “It doesn’t mean they won’t in a year or two…once we can make them our own.”

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WEEK OF MARCH 29-APRIL 5

March 29, 2012

17

Arts & Entertainment a r t , f i l m , m u s i c , s ta g e , b o o k s a n d o t h e r s i g n s o f c i v i l i z a t i o n . . .

MARCH 30

Playoff Hockey

The Ice Flyers' made the playoffs and they've drawn a first round best-of-three match up with their arch rivals, the Mississippi Surge. The series kicks off at home in the Hangar Friday night. pensacolaiceflyers.com

MARCH 31

Bands is Back

One of Pensacola Beach's most popular traditions is returning this week—Bands on the Beach. The series, which kicks off Saturday, March 31, with Super Band, is scheduled each Tuesday night starting April 3 from 7-9 p.m. until October 30.

Turn to page 20 for this year's complete schedule.

20

APRIL 3

Raekwon at Vinyl

Raekwon from the legendary hiphop group Wu-Tang Clan is putting on solo show at Vinyl Tuesday night. Freddie Gibbs is also on the bill. vinylmusichall.com

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culture

inweekly.net

by Jennie McKeon

“GlenGarry Glen Ross” Benefits the Saenger director are more than happy to contribute to the beautiful theatre, being a part of a Mamet production did have its draws.

“This is actually my favorite play,” said Zach Bookout, who plays one of the agents, George Aaronow. “I always wanted the chance to do a David Mamet play – the difficulty is a bit higher.”

“GlenGarry Glen Ross” tells the story of four, desperate real estate agents in Chicago in the early 1980s. These men lie, threaten, bribe and steal all in the span of two days. The dark comedy by the great, American playwright, David Mamet, opens on the Saenger stage Friday, March 30 and Saturday, March 31.

“The play shows how men cope with each other in high pressure situations,” said director Robert Gandrup. “It shows people what a man will do under a great deal of pressure while trying living up to a higher moral standard.”

“It’s almost like watching a Jane Goodall documentary, watching men fight for the alpha position,” said Bill Whalen who plays one of the agents, John Williamson.

“Glengarry Glen Ross” is a special fundraiser for the Saenger Theatre Non-Profit Grant Fund. Although the local actors and

drama that year. Although they have the “My character is at the end of his propressure of meeting the high expectations ductivity,” Whatley said. “He has nothing of those who have seen the play or movie, to fall back on – fear generates his anger.” local cast and crew are more focused on Written almost 30 years ago, the play making the production the best it can be is still relatable in this uncertain economic instead of comparing it to the original. climate. Johnnie Odom, who plays James “ You really can’t go into it with those Lingk, a client of the most successful thoughts,” Whalen said. “ You have to agent in the office, sees the similarities approach it as though it’s never been between the professional workforce in done before.”

1984 and today.

The cast and crew are some of Pen“The conditions are changing so they sacola’s finest, with years of experience do desperate things,” Odom says of the and passion between all of them. main characters. “Whatever it was they “This is one of the best companies in were doing can’t be done anymore – much town,” Gandrup said of the cast. like the changes in the newspaper indusActors were also excited to work try. Suddenly online papers pop up and with Gandrup. people want their news for free. It’s adapt “Anything he’s involved in, I want to be or die.” involved in,” Odom said.

While the characters “Glengarry Glen Ross” is a refreshing can be cutthroat, the change of pace in the local theatre seen. play is funny too.

“It’s not a musical,” Bookout said. “It’s “There’s a good deal way different, more edgy.” of humor,” Whalen said.

Yet like every local production, it’s a “It’s very entertaining.” play by the community for the community.

Gandup compares And perhaps this particular one will start a it to critically acclaimed few conversations. shows on channels like “I prefer theatre to movies,” Whatley HBO and Showtime.

“It’s an adult prodsaid. “It’s the sense of community. Come uct,” he said referring to out with questions about existence – and its mature language. “I maybe some answers.” {in} don’t know if it’s for everybody, but it’s pretty funny.”

The play’s 1980s style – songs such as “Do You Really Want to Hurt Me” and “Mr. Roboto” played WHEN: 7:30 p.m. Friday, March 30 and during rehearsal – is fun to visit Saturday, March 31 as well.

WHERE: Saenger Theatre, 118 S. Palafox “It gave me the chance to grow a COST: $15, proceeds benefit the Saenger ridiculous mustache,” Bookout said.

Theatre Non-Profit Grant Fund The play had its first opening DETAILS: pensacolasaenger.com night on Broadway in 1984. It was nominated for two Tony awards and won the Pulitzer Prize for

“It’s almost like watching a Jane Goodall documentary, watching men fight for the alpha position.”

Bill Whalen Rodney Whatley just received his doctorate in dramatic theory and criticism from Florida State University. His specialty was Mamet.

“Not a week goes by that I don’t say, ‘Well, according to David Mamet,’” said Whatley.

Whatley has worked closely behind the scenes of productions at Pensacola State College as Director of Theatre. He’s returning to the stage to play Shelly Levene, the oldest agent of the characters who is desperate to close one more big deal.

GLENGARRY GLEN ROSS

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happenings FOXY IGUANAS 9:30 p.m. Bama Dome, Florabama, 17401 Perdido Key Dr. 492-0611 or florabama.com.

LUCKY DOGGS 10 p.m. Tent Stage, Florabama, 17401 Perdido Key Dr. 492-0611 or florabama.com.

FRIDAY 3.30

THURSDAY 3.29

‘IT’S 5 O’ CLOCK SOMEWHERE’ MARGARITA TASTING 2 p.m. Thursdays. Margaritaville Beach Hotel, 165 Fort Pickens Road. 916-9755 or margaritavillehotel.com.

PLAY HAPPY HOUR 4 p.m. Everyday. Play, 16 S. Palafox, Suite 100. 466-3080 or iplaypensacola.com.

WINE TASTING AT AWM 5 p.m. Thursdays.

Aragon Wine Market, 27 S. Ninth Ave. 433-9463 or aragonwinemarket.com.

HERB CLASS AT EVER’MAN 6 p.m. Thursdays. $2 for non-members. Ever’man Natural Foods, 315 W. Garden St. 438-0402 or everman.org.

VEGAN DINNER AT EOTL 6 p.m. Thursdays.

End of the Line Café, 610 E. Wright St. 429-0336 or eotlcafe.com.

‘ARCHAEOLOGY OF THE COSMOS: DECIPHERING COSMOLOGICAL SYMBOLS FROM NORTHWEST FLORIDA’S NATIVE AMERICAN SITES’ 7 p.m. J. Earle Bowden Building, 120 E. Church St. 595-0050 or flpublicarchaeology.com.

live music

HOME GROWN NIGHT 5 p.m. Thursdays.

Florabama, 17401 Perdido Key Dr. 492-0611 or florabama.com.

THE DAVENPORTS 6 p.m. Thursdays. The Leisure Club, 126 Palafox. 912-4229 or tlcdowntown.com.

LUCAS CRUTCHFIELD 6 p.m. Thursdays. The Deck at The Fish House, 600 S. Barracks St. 470-0003 or fishhouse.goodgrits.com.

STEVE FLOYD 7 p.m. Peg Leg Pete’s, 1010 Fort Pickens Road. 932-4139 or peglegpetes.com.

KATHY LYON 7 p.m. Five Sisters Blues Café, 421 W. Belmont St. 912-4856 or fivesistersbluescafe.com.

JOHN HART & FATTY WATERS 7 p.m. Paradise Bar & Grill, 21 Via de Luna Drive. 916-5087 or paradisebar-grill.com.

CHARLIE ROBERTS 7 p.m. Thursdays. Hub Stacey’s Downtown, 312 E. Government St. 4691001 or hubstaceys.com.

KARAOKE WITH BECKY 7:30 p.m. Thursdays.

Sabine Sandbar, 715 Pensacola Beach Blvd. 9343141 or dalesbigdeck.com.

TIM SPENCER 8 p.m. Thursdays. Sandshaker Lounge, 731 Pensacola Beach Blvd. 932-2211 or sandshaker.com.

DUELING PIANOS 8 p.m. Thursdays. Rosie O’Grady’s at Seville Quarter, 130 E. Government St. 434-6211 or sevillequarter.com.

DJ MR LAO 8 p.m. Thursdays. Phineas Phogg’s at Seville Quarter, 130 E. Government St. 4346211 or sevillequarter.com.

COLLEGE DANCE NIGHT 9 p.m. Thursdays.

Phineas Phogg’s at Seville Quarter, 130 E. Government St. 434-6211 or sevillequarter.com.

LIVE MUSIC 9:30 p.m. Thursdays. Intermission, 214 S. Palafox. 433-6208.

PLAY HAPPY HOUR 4 p.m. Everyday. Play, 16 S. Palafox, Suite 100.

466-3080 or iplaypensacola.com.

WINE TASTING AT DK 4:30 p.m.

Fridays. Distinctive Kitchens, 29 S. Palafox. 438-4688 or dk4u.com.

WINE TASTING AT SEVILLE QUARTER 5 p.m. Fridays. Palace Café at Seville Quarter, 130 E. Government St. 434-6211 or sevillequarter.com.

WINE TASTING AT CITY GROCERY 5:15 p.m. Fridays. City Grocery, 2050 N. 12th Ave. 469-8100.

WINE TASTING AT EAST HILL MARKET 5:30 p.m. Fridays. 1216 N. Ninth Ave. PENSACOLA LIGHTHOUSE GHOST HUNT 7:30 p.m. Pensacola Lighthouse, 2081 Radford Blvd. 393-1561 or pensacolalighthouse.org.

GLENGARRY GLEN ROSS 7:30 p.m. Saenger Theatre, 118 S. Palafox. 595-3880 or pensacolasaenger.com.

live music

J. HAWKINS & JAMES DANIEL 2 p.m. Bama Dome, Florabama, 17401 Perdido Key Dr. 4920611 or florabama.com.

NEWBURY SYNDICATE 5 p.m. Tent Stage, Florabama, 17401 Perdido Key Dr. 492-0611 or florabama.com.

JACK ROBERTSON SHOW 6 p.m. Bama Dome, Florabama, 17401 Perdido Key Dr. 492-0611 or florabama.com.

PAUL KILLOUGH 7 p.m. Peg Leg Pete’s, 1010 Fort Pickens Road. 932-4139 or peglegpetes.com.

MASON JAR 8 p.m. The Grand Marlin, 400 Pensacola Beach Blvd. 677-9153 or thegrandmarlin.com.

THE BLENDERS 8:30 p.m. Hub Stacey’s Downtown, 312 E. Government St. 469-1001 or hubstaceys.com.

SHAWNA P & ADAM TYLER BROWN 7 p.m.

Hub Stacey’s at the Point, 5851 Galvez Road.

497-0071 or hubstaceys.com.

30 X 90 7 p.m. Paradise Bar & Grill, 21 Via de Luna Drive. 916-5087 or paradisebar-grill.com.

SAWMILL & GUESTS 7 p.m. Chumuckla’s Farmers’ Opry, 8897 Byrom Campbell Road. 994-9219 or farmersopry.com.

DESTIN ATKINSON 8 p.m. Fridays. The Leisure Club, 126 S. Palafox. 912-4229 or tlcdowntown.com.

DUELING PIANOS 8 p.m. Fridays. Rosie O’Grady’s at Seville Quarter, 130 E. Government St. 434-6211 or sevillequarter.com.

DJ MR LAO 8 p.m. Fridays. Phineas Phogg’s at Seville Quarter, 130 E. Government St. 434-6211 or sevillequarter.com.

DOUG CURL 8 p.m. Five Sisters Blues Café, 421 W. Belmont St. 912-4856 or fivesistersbluescafe.com.

HOLLY SHELTON AND DAVID SHELANDER 8 p.m. Fridays. Ragtyme Grille, 201 S. Jefferson St. 429-9655 or ragtyme.net.

THE REZ 9 p.m. Apple Annie’s at Seville Quarter, 130 E. Government St. 434-6211 or sevillequarter.com.

LIVE MUSIC 9 p.m. The Deck at The Fish House, 600 S. Barracks St. 470-0003 or fishhouse. goodgrits.com.

HERITAGE 9 p.m. Bamboo Willie’s, 400 Quietwater Beach Road. 916-9888 or bamboowillies.com.

CABO ROCK 9 p.m. Sandshaker Lounge, 731 Pensacola Beach Blvd. 932-2211 or Sandshaker.com.

2012 Bands on the Beach Lineup

March 31: Super Band April 3: The Kyle Parker Band April 10: Shades April 17: Holly Shelton April 24: Beulah Land South Band May 1: Mass Kunfuzion May 8: Westside Players May 15: Mr. Big & The Rhythm Sisters May 22: Rain Date May 29: The Song Byrds June 5: The Astronauts June 12: Lektric Mullet June 19: Dr. Breeze June 26: Modern Eldorados July 3: Johnny Earthquake & The Moondogs July 10: Crosstown July 17: Pearl Clarkin & Big Jim Brown July 24: The Reunion Band July 31: Not Quite Fab August 7: The Laymen August 14: Big Muddy August 21: Southern Breeze August 28: The Sawmill Band September 4: 13th Hourglass September 11: Wildwood September 18: NO Bands on the Beach September 25: Kee Creek Band October 2: On the Beach October 9: Class X October 16: One Accord October 23: Civilized Natives October 30: Touch of Gray For more information, call the SRIA at 932-2257, go to visitpensacolabeach.com, or tune into the Cat Country 98.7 for the latest updates.

LIVE MUSIC 9:30 p.m. Fridays. Intermission, 214 S. Palafox. 433-6208.

SHANE OWENS BAND 10 p.m. Tent Stage, Florabama, 17401 Perdido Key Dr. 492-0611 or florabama.com.

LEE YANKIE & HELLZ YEAH 10:30 p.m. Bama Dome, Florabama, 17401 Perdido Key Dr. 4920611 or florabama.com.

SATURDAY 3.31

PALAFOX MARKET 8 a.m. Saturdays, rain or shine, through Apr 30. Martin Luther King Plaza on North Palafox Street between Chase and Garden streets. palafoxmarket.com.

for more listings visit inweekly.net

21

March 29, 2012

! k e e W o o It ’ s Wa h The counTdown To The firsT piTch is on!

Get your sneak peek of the stadium, see the team practice and get your Blue wahoos swag ready for opening day.

You won’t want to miss it!

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BW0002-Wahoos Week IN.indd 1

3/27/12 2:04 PM

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music

inweekly.net

by Kate Peterson

People Playing Music The band, Two People Playing Music or 2PPM, consists of keyboardist Chase Hudson and drummer Sean Sullivan–along with a wide variety of keyboards and musical instruments. Their only interest listed on Facebook is wanting to be the first musicians to play on Mars–and they just might. For right now, they live in Ashville, N.C. Hudson and Sullivan formed their band in Santa Rosa Beach, sharing and creating a musical style that explores the sonic boundaries of popular music. IN caught up with both of them, and asked questions about their upcoming show at the Handlebar.

IN: Where are you both from?

HUDSON: Charlotte, N.C. SULLIVAN: Leesburg, Va. IN: What started you in music?

HUDSON: Influence from my father, and friends in high school.

SULLIVAN: Theatre, my parents and my brother.

IN: What made the two of you decide to form a band?

SULLIVAN: The interest in representing ourselves properly. Chase and I were writing material together in another project, we sensed a closer connection and a compatibility of styles, and then we just came to it on January 1, 2010. “Let's form a duo.”

IN: 2PPM, such an interesting name, please explain the origins.

2PPM: When we came to the idea of forming a duo, we named the project that day, a process, which took approximately 15 minutes.

We wanted to be genuine. Sometimes when naming a band, it can take months. I, (Sullivan) suggested the name "Music" which sounded good for about three minutes, and Chase then said, "No, Two People Playing Music," and it was as if a home run was cracked out of the park. When something is right, it feels that way, and this did.

We have received a lot of opposition regarding our band name. People have told us that it is everything from lazy to pretentious, but in fact our intention was to be humble and thoughtful. We soon came to the realization that our name could be abbreviated as 2PPM, the scientific notation, which stands for two parts per million. This realization continued to represent our original intention of presenting the music as the priority rather than glorifying our band.

IN: You two have such a distinctive style, how did you develop it?

2PPM: Listening to each other, practicing and being selfless. Traveling, experiencing life and living with each other. Our interest to be culturally significant and the realization that what we are contributing to is bigger than ourselves are the main motivating factors responsible for helping us constantly change, improve and hone our facility to represent ourselves through our instruments.

IN: How many albums do you have to date?

2PPM: Two albums. “While No One's Watching” released in February 2011 and “For People,” released February 2012.

IN: Are you signed to a label?

2PPM: Not currently, but we are blessed to be a part of a collective called Raw Panda, that is based in Pensacola. It is run by Sean Peterson and includes artists such as Paloma, Imaginary Airshow, Joey Allred, Precubed, Damien Louviere, Aubrey Nichols, Pioneers!

O' Pioneers, Brandon Warren and Chainsaw Kelly. This collective put out a compilation disc and we were lucky enough to be on it.

Visit Raw Panda Records on bandcamp.com, to access the tunes. You can also find Raw Panda Records on Facebook. It’s very present in your Pensacola music scene.

IN: Do you think you will ever add some more sounds or vocals?

2PPM: We have thought about doing collaborations with other artists. This is a bit farther down the line, but the possibility is intriguing, considering our name and the use of the word ‘with,’ as in Two People Playing Music with [blank]. An innate quality of our music is the incorporation of new sounds as we explore the potential of music.

IN: You two been touring a lot lately.

How is that experience?

2PPM: We are always touring, always constantly motivated to bring our music to the farthest reaches of the universe. Last year we left our home in Northwest Fla., toured to 21 states, logged over 45,000 miles, played shows from Maine to Miami and held a residency in New York City at the venerable Piano's. We have similar plans for this year–giving all over the world.

IN: Have you played the Handlebar or played in Pensacola before?

2PPM: Yes, we have played this venue many times before, our first show being in January of 2011.

IN: Any final comments?

2PPM: Many of our friends live in Pensacola, it has been nearly five months since our last appearance and we are highly anticipating our upcoming event with Isles and Paloma. This run is in conjunction with the release of our second album, “For People.” Please visit our Bandcamp page to download your free copy.

Our next album is in the works and is scheduled to be released in June of this year. We also plan on preparing music videos for our current release and appearing all over the eastern seaboard during the summer, including two festival appearances, one in New York City and one in Florida. This will lead us up to our most expansive tour to-date, a two-month long excursion that will bring 2PPM to places far and wide. Some places that we have seen and some that will grace our eyes for the first time. {in}

2PPM, ISLES AND PALOMA

WHEN: 9 p.m. Friday, March 30 WHERE: The Handlebar, 319 N. Tarragona St. COST: $5 DETAILS: handlebarpensacola.com

unique & affordable

Join us for Wine Tastings Thursdays 5-7 p.m.

11 East Romana Street w w w. a t t o r n e y g e n e m i t c h e l l . c o m

27 S. 9th Ave.

433-WINE or 433-9463

www.aragonwinemarket.com

March 29, 2012

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BP OIL CLAIMS Now that the Plaintiff’s Steering Committee has announced a settlement in principle regarding the BP Oil Spill, please contact our office about your business or rental losses from the spill.

Call: 435-7000 Pensacola, FL

w w w.l evin l aw. c o m

it happened here

by Jessica Forbes

Minor League Baseball and Waterfront Ballparks, Welcome Back!

A Day at the Ballpark in Pensacola, circa 1909. / photo courtesy of the Pensacola Historical Society The Blue Wahoos are not the city’s first minor league team. The new team and its stadium are merely the latest chapter in an extensive local baseball history that includes dozens of locally sponsored teams, four minor league clubs, Negro League teams and even an earlier waterfront ballpark.

Baseball fever reached Pensacola in the 1860s and never really left. Throughout the late 1880s, locals formed teams that were sponsored by its members and local businesses. Games were typically held at local parks, and one in particular, Maxent Park at on the corner of Gregory and G streets, became the site of Pensacola’s first permanent stadium.

In 1928, Maxent Park was reopened as Legion Field after it was renovated to accommodate fans of the Pensacola Fliers, later a club in the Class B Southeastern League. Newspaper reports stated that 5,000 people were expected to attend opening day. The Pensacola Fliers famously played the New York Yankees, including Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig, at Legion Field in 1929, losing 12-2.

Though initially segregated, Legion Field opened to African-American teams in the 1940s. Pensacola’s Pepsi-Cola Stars played against teams in both the Negro National League and the Negro American League.

The Pepsi-Colas were one of several African-American teams that formed in Pensacola beginning in the late 1800s.

In 1890, stands were constructed in Kupfrian’s Park for the Onwards, who, along with the Pensacola Giants, were one of the city’s premier teams. Several of the city’s former Negro League teams eventually desegregated and continued playing into the 1970s.

Attendance at Fliers’ games steadily dropped in the late 1940s, despite the team’s winning record. The team’s last season was 1950, when changing economic realities caused the team to fold. Legion Field is still a city park with a playground and facilities for several sports, including baseball.

In the 1940s, Little League in Pensacola was almost as popular as the adult minor leagues. In 1949, the Pensacola Little League All Star Team played in the Little League World Series in Williamsport, Pa. That year, a Little League Park was constructed at Main and Baylen streets. The park was built on a two-thirds scale of a regulation big-league diamond, and amenities included stands, a press box, flagstaff, and concession stand.

In 1957, minor league baseball returned to Pensacola. The city built its first waterfront baseball park, Admiral Mason Park, at the foot of Ninth Avenue. Over the next five years, it hosted three different teams in the Class D Alabama-Florida League: Pensacola Dons, an affiliate of the Baltimore Orioles, 1957-59; Pensacola Angels, a Chicago White Sox franchise, 1960-61; and, Pensacola Senators, a Washington Senators affiliate, 1961-62.

When the major leagues reorganized in 1961, three teams in the Alabama-Southern League refused to desegregate, and the league folded. The Class D designation was dropped from professional baseball the same year.

With no home team, Admiral Mason Park languished and was demolished in the 1970s. The city has developed the 4.2-acre site into the Veterans Memorial Park, and the new Admiral Mason Park. Just down Main Street, the opening of Maritime Park will mark the first time in 50 years that a major league affiliate, the Blue Wahoos, has called Pensacola its home. {in}

Jessica is a Pensacola resident with a Master’s degree in Public History. When she’s not digging up history facts, you can find her at Music Box Pensacola.

March 29, 2012

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news of the weird

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by Chuck Shepherd

PEOPLE OF FAITH: GPS NAVIGATOR USERS In a world of advancing technology and declining map-reading skills, some GPS navigator users blindly over-rely on the devices, and News of the Weird has reported enough of their predicaments to mark the category “no longer weird.” However, three Japanese students on holiday near Brisbane, Australia, in March created a new standard for ignoring common sense. Bound for North Stradbroke Island (about eight miles offshore), the driver (according to authorities cited by the local Bayside Bulletin) apparently put maps and eyesight aside, in favor of the all-powerful Navigator, which had instructed him to proceed. As news spread on the Internet, photographers rushed to capture the car, half-buried in sand. (In the students’ defense, the beach seemed to extend to the horizon at low tide -- although the word “island” might have deserved more respect.) [Bayside Bulletin (Cleveland, Australia), 3-15-2012]

Milwaukee did several months earlier. To win back his girlfriend, Cardella convinced a buddy to shoot him, hoping for the girlfriend’s sympathy and a change of heart.

Although he requested three shots in the back, he wisely settled for one in the arm.

Alas, the girlfriend continued to ignore him.) [ WTMJ-TV (Milwaukee), 10-30-2011] [Journal Sentinel (Milwaukee), 7-26-2011]

FAMILY VALUES What Christmas gift would be appropriate for the 7-year-old daughter of Britain’s notorious specimen of plastic surgery known as the “Human Barbie”? For little “Poppy” Burge, it was a gift certificate worth the equivalent of about $11,000 for future liposuction (redeemable beginning at age 18). Mom Sarah had already given her a voucher for breast augmentation. (Poppy, developing her early-onset need for attention: “I can’t wait to be like Mummy with big boobs.

They’re pretty.”) Mom, who recently turned 51, celebrated with about $80,000 worth of additional plastic surgery to run her lifetime total to the equivalent of (depending on source consulted) $800,000 to $1 million. [Daily Mail (London), 1-42012] • Sheriff’s detectives told the Everett, Wash., Daily Herald in January that they had recently tracked down a 21-year-old man who confessed to stealing checks from the Money Tree store in Lynnwood, Wash., and forging signatures. According to the detectives, the man was clear about his motive: “I don’t have an addiction. I don’t need to use drugs. I (was) doing this to show my parents that I can make it on my own, without them.” [Daily Herald, 1-25-2012]

PEOPLE WITH ISSUES Now in its third season, the TLC cable channel’s series “My Strange Addiction” continues to raise the bar for News of the Weird stories.

This season’s highlights include the man sexually attracted to his car, plus women who surround themselves with mothballs or eat cat food or drink nail polish or dig into their ears or eat adhesive tape. In one episode, “Ayanna,” 54 , who has not cut her fingernails in three decades, reports that she has recently been cultivating her toenails, which are now 4 inches long and hampering her use of shoes. Another episode this season features Sheyla Hershey, mentioned in News of the Weird four weeks ago after she credited her gigantic breast implants with cushioning her body during a recent car crash. [ABC News, 2-10-2012; Daily Mail (London), 3-6- 2012]

WISCONSINITES, DOING IT THE HARD WAY In October, Robbie Suhr, 48, of Pleasant Prairie, Wis., sought the affections of the young exchange student living with Suhr and his wife and children, but she had so far declined. According to police, a disguised Suhr snatched the woman one night, intending to tie her up, leave, and then return undisguised to “rescue” her. However, she fought back, sending the masked man fleeing. (Suhr got off easier than Jordan Cardella, 20, of

IT’S EVERYWHERE! (1) Two ministers in the Indian state of Karnataka were pressured into resigning in February after allegedly being spotted watching pornography on a cellphone in the state legislature.

Minister Laxman Savadi said he was actually doing research on the dangers of “rave” parties. (2) A 54-year-old court clerk at Inner London Crown Court was caught by his judge looking at pornography during the victim’s testimony at a notorious rape trial.

He said he was just “bored” and admitted previously browsing porn in court. [BBC News, 2-8-2012] [Daily Mail, 2-7-2012]

LEAST COMPETENT CRIMINALS One of the largest methamphetamine busts in U.S. history was made in March by police in Palo Alto, Calif., who used the popular FindMy-iPad app. Apparently, someone at the drug house had stolen the iPad, and police turned on the owner’s global-positioning “app,” pointing to an apartment complex in Santa Clara County. Almost 800 pounds of meth was confiscated, with a street value of about $35 million. Said the father of the iPad owner, “They have $35 million, and they can’t go out and buy an iPad?” [Mercury News (San Jose), 3-3-2012] {in}

From Universal Press Syndicate Chuck Shepherd’s News Of The Weird © 2012 Chuck Shepherd

Send your weird news to Chuck Shepherd, P.O. Box 18737, Tampa, Fla., 33679 or weirdnews@earthlink.net, or go to newsoftheweird.com.

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March 29, 2012

my pensacola Brian L. Turner

Day Job: Staff Psychologist, University of West Florida Counseling Center Pensacola Resident Since: 2008

Good Eats:

I get a lot of love from a good Carnivore and a pitcher with Eric, CJ, and Kismet at Ozone’s, or a double burger from Blue Dots a.k.a. Blues – if you call or get there early enough. And of course, I go to Jerry’s Cajun Café for their Purple Haze and crawfish tails. Watching Jerry work the crowd reminds me of New Orleans.

Retail Therapy:

Pet Smart. My German Rottweiler, King Bailey, makes me a Pet Smart retail junkie.

Watering Holes:

Hopjacks on Nine Mile because of their great beer selection and its now so close to my home.

Outdoors:

I like to tend to my lawn, rose bushes, and backyard. Occasionally, I’ll catch a good beach pickup football game.

Arts & Culture:

Goombay Festival, UWF Festival on the Greens. Go Argos!!!

Never Miss Events/Festivals:

Seafood Festival, Great Gulf Coast Arts Festival and each and every Gallery Night with their great vendor foods, nicely priced art, and people. If I can’t be here for these, something has to be up. {in}

Nightlife:

Tuesday night poetry night on the first and third Wednesdays at Sluggo’s.

They have great hummus, too. The Art of XXpression at The Game Plan, and anytime you want to dance, laugh, and sweat the Lotus Lounge with Sonny Cao and the crew.

Blue Dot Barbeque burger

Do you want to tell us how you see our city? Email Joani at joani@inweekly.net for all of the details.

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(850) 912-6665

MM 27852

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Independent News | March 29, 2012 | inweekly.net