free will astrology

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19): My reading of the astrological omens inspires me to make a series of paradoxical predictions for you. Here are five scenarios I foresee as being quite possible in the coming weeks. 1. An epic journey to a sanctuary close to home. 2. A boundary that doesn't keep people apart but brings them closer. 3. A rambunctious intervention that calms you down and helps you feel more at peace. 4. A complex process that leads to simple clarity. 5. A visit to the past that empowers you to redesign the future.

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20) : Do you want a seed to fulfill its destiny? You must bury it in the ground. If it's able to draw on water and the proper nutrients there, it will break open and sprout. Its life as a seed will be over. The plant it eventually grows into will look nothing like its source. We take this process for granted, but it's always a miracle. Now, let's invoke this story as a metaphor for what you are hopefully on the verge of, Taurus. I invite you to do all that's helpful and necessary to ensure your seed germinates.

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20): Your meandering trek through the unpromised land wasn't as demoralizing as you feared. The skirmish with the metaphorical dragon was a bit disruptive, but hey, you are still breathing and walking around—and even seem to have been energized by the weird thrill of the adventure. The only other possible downside was the new dent in your sweet dream. But I suspect that in the long run, that imperfection will inspire you to work even harder on behalf of your sweet dream— and this will be a blessing. Here's another perk: The ordeal you endured effectively cleaned out stale old karma, freeing up space for a slew of fresh help and resources.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22): Testing time is ahead, but don't get your nerves in an uproar with fantasy-spawned stress. For the most part, your challenges and trials will be interesting, not unsettling. There will be few if any trick questions. There will be straightforward prods to stretch your capacities and expand your understanding. Bonus: I bet you'll get the brilliant impulse to shed the ball and chain you've been absent-mindedly carrying around with you.

By Rob Brezsny

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22): Biologist Edward O. Wilson said the most social animals are ants, termites and honeybees. He used the following criteria to define that description: "altruism, instincts devoted to social life and the tightness of the bonds that turn colonies into virtual superorganisms." I'm going to advocate that you regard ants, termites and honeybees as teachers and role models for you. The coming weeks will be a great time to boost your skill at socializing and networking. You will be wise to ruminate about how you could improve your life by enhancing your ability to cooperate with others. And remember to boost your altruism.

you not feel thrilled? 4. You're playing the most enigmatic game in the universe, also known as your destiny on Earth, and you love ruminating on questions about what it all means. How could you not feel thrilled? 5. You never know what's going to happen next. You're like a hero in an epic movie that is endlessly entertaining. How could you not feel thrilled?

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21): "Trust those that you have helped to help you in their turn," advises Scorpio author Neil Gaiman. Let's make that one of your mantras for the coming weeks. In my astrological understanding, you are due to cash in on favors you have bestowed on others. The generosity you have expressed should be streaming back your way in abundance. Be bold about welcoming the bounty. In fact, I hope you will nudge and prompt people, if necessary, to reward you for your past support and blessings.

related metaphors. I thrive on referring to poetry, sometimes even surrealistic poetry, but I try to avoid sounding like a lunatic. However, at this juncture in your hero's journey, Aquarius, I frankly feel that the most effective way to communicate with you is to offer you mixed metaphors and surrealist poetry that border on sounding lunatic. Why? Because you seem primed to wander around on the edges of reality. I'm guessing you'll respond best to a message that's aligned with your unruly mood. So here goes: Get ready to surf the spiritual undertow all the way to the teeming wilderness on the other side of the cracked mirror. Ignore the provocative wasteland on your left and the intriguing chaos on your right. Stay focused on the stars in your eyes and devote yourself to wild joy.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22): Jack Sarfatti is an authentic but maverick physicist born under the sign of Virgo. He suggests if we make ourselves receptive and alert, we may get help from our future selves. They are trying to communicate good ideas to us back through time. Alas, most of us don't believe such a thing is feasible, so we aren't attuned to the potential help. I will encourage you to transcend any natural skepticism you might have about Sarfatti's theory. As a fun experiment, imagine that future you has an important transmission for you—maybe several transmissions. For best results, formulate three specific questions to pose to the future you.

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22): I have five points for your consideration. 1. You are alive in your mysterious, endlessly interesting life, and you are imbued with the fantastically potent power of awareness. How could you not feel thrilled?

2. You're on a planet that's always surprising, and you're in an era when so many things are changing that you can't help being fascinated. How could you not feel thrilled? 3. You have some intriguing project to look forward to, or some challenging but engaging work you're doing or some mindbending riddle you're trying to solve. How could

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21) : So many of us are starved to be listened to with full attention. So many of us yearn to be seen, heard and felt by people who are skilled at receptive empathy. How many of us? I'd say the figure is about 99.9%. That's the bad news, Sagittarius. The good news is, in the coming weeks, you will have an exceptional ability to win the attention of good listeners. To boost the potential healing effects of this opportunity, here's what I recommend: Refine and deepen your own listening skills. Express them with panache.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19): Because you're a Capricorn, earthiness is probably one of your strengths. It's your birthright to be practical, sensible and well-grounded. Now and then, however, your earthiness devolves into muddiness. You get too sober and earnest. You're bogged down in excess pragmatism. I suspect you may be susceptible to such a state these days. What to do? It may help if you add elements of air and fire to your constitution, just to balance things out. Give yourself a secret nickname with a fiery feel, like Blaze, or a crispy briskness, like Breezy. What else could you do to rouse fresh, glowing vigor, Breezy Blaze— even a touch of wildness?

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18): I love to use metaphors in my writing, but I hate to mix un-

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20): "The gift of patience opens when our body, heart and mind slow enough to move in unison," so says Piscean poet Mark Nepo. I feel confident you are about to glide into such a grand harmony, dear Pisces. Through a blend of grace and your relaxed efforts to be true to your deepest desires, your body, heart and mind will synchronize and synergize. Patience will be just one of the gifts you will receive. Others include: a clear vision of your most beautiful future, a lucid understanding of what will be most meaningful to you in the next three years and a profound sense of feeling at home in the world wherever you go.

HERE'S THE HOMEWORK: What is the most spiritually nourishing pleasure you should seek out but don't? {in} freewillastrology.com newsletter.freewillastrology.com freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com © 2023 Rob

Brezsny

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NEWS YOU CAN USE Not a moment too soon, Oscar Mayer announced on May 17 that it is changing the name of its iconic Wienermobile to the Frankmobile, CNN reported. The company says the name change "pays homage" to its new recipe for hot dogs, which will roll out this summer. Uh-huh. A company spokesperson said the change is a test; they'll have "to see if it cuts the mustard" with fans. The Wienermobile first appeared in 1936; 23 of the eye-catching vehicles now travel around the country.

UNCLEAR ON THE CONCEPT When cake-baker Brianna Romero of El Paso, Texas, got an order for a birthday cake this spring, she was on board, NBC New York reported on May 10. The customer wanted an emo cake, so Romero put her newly perfected black icing to the test and constructed the confection. Before she delivered it, she said, she asked the client if they wanted a number on the cake. "Yes," the client answered, "it's for my granddaughter and she's turning 4." Romero "thought it was a little bit weird ... but maybe she just likes 'Wednesday' or something like that." Still, wanting to cover her bases, she asked the client for the theme of the party. When she got the answer—"Sesame Street— it all became clear. "I misread emo and it says 'Elmo cake.'" Romero rushed to a local grocery, where the bakery topped the cake with an Elmo image; Romero gave the cake to the client for free. Social media ate the story up, with more than 10 million views on Twitter.

BRIGHT IDEA Students will go to just about any lengths to get out of a test—even outer space. So it was in Hemlock, Michigan, on May 16, when an enterprising student reported an alien invasion to avoid a math test, according to KTVZ-TV. The student reported that ETs came from the skies in flying saucers and landed on the playground, and the rumors quickly began circulating amongst the student body on social media. But Superintendent Don Killingbeck wasn't having it: "We have thoroughly investigated the situation, and there is no evidence of any alien activity on our school grounds," he said. The prankster has been disciplined, he added.

CHEEKY British IBM IT professional Ian Clifford, 50, has not worked since September 2008 as he battled mental-health issues and stage 4 leukemia, Business Insider reported. Clifford has been on sick leave for 15 years, collecting a salary of almost $68,000 per year after reaching an agreement with IBM in 2013. But in February 2022, Clifford testified in an employment tribunal that he had been treated unfairly because he hadn't had a salary increase since the 2013 agreement went into place. He argued that inflation was causing his income to "wither" and sought a pay raise of 2.5%. "Your mortgage doesn't go down because you are sick," he noted. This spring, Paul Housego, an employment judge, rejected Clifford's argument, saying Clifford was treated more favorably than others because he was being paid without having to work. Clifford plans to appeal.

By the Editors at Andrews McMeel

FIELD REPORT On May 9, officers from Boone County and Watauga County, North Carolina, tried to chase down Joshua Minton, 34, after he was pulled over for reckless driving, CBS News reported. Minton ran into an "undeveloped area," where law enforcement got an unlikely helping ... hoof. Cows in the field "quickly assisted our officers by leading them directly to where the suspect was hiding," police announced in a Facebook post. "The cows communicated with the officers as best they could and finally just had the officers follow them to the suspect's location." Minton was arrested on multiple charges.

PRECOCIOUS Two brothers in Langkawi, Malaysia, were detained after crashing the car one was driving into a lamp post on May 10, CNN reported. It's not hard to imagine why driving might have been difficult for them: They are 6 and 3 years old. Police Chief Shariman Ashari said the Toyota Vios they were in attracted attention from other drivers, who thought the driver might be intoxicated. The boys sneaked out of their home and took the car, hoping to buy a toy car at the local shops. "Mama is at home and we are going to the store," the 6-year-old said. "We want to buy a black car," the 3-year-old elaborated. The only injury was a cut to one boy's chin.

THE HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH Two families went at each other on May 15 at Walt Disney World's Magic Kingdom, Fox35-TV reported— all over who could stand next to a sign commemorating the 100th anniversary of the Disney Co. According to police, one family was standing in front of the sign when another group wanted to snap a photo. When the second group asked the first to step aside, punches were thrown. At least one person was treated for injuries at the site, but they didn't want to press charges. Two people were removed from the park.

THE ENTREPRENEURIAL SPIRIT When a 36-year-old woman in Providence, Rhode Island, couldn't afford conventional dental care for her painful teeth, a friend recommended "Yorki," WPRI-TV reported on May 18. The woman contacted Altagracia Yorquis Adames, 57, and went to her home basement "dental practice." There, Yorki allegedly removed instruments from a dresser drawer—some that were visibly rusty—then numbed the victim's molar and pulled on it until it came out. She then numbed and drilled on the patient's front teeth. Later that night, when her pain worsened, she texted with Yorki, who told her to take painkillers and ice her mouth. The next day, the victim checked into a hospital and was told she was "very sick." Police said Yorki was a licensed dentist in the Dominican Republic but not licensed in Rhode Island; she is due back in court in August. {in}