Experiential Meaning of Verbal Abuse

CONTEXT

Experiential meaning of parental verbal abuse

Research and interviews conducted by Lani Thomson in “Adult Reflections on Verbal Abuse” explained that the experiential meaning of verbal abuse can be understood more fully when the existential themes of lived time, body, space and relation are reflected upon (Van Manen, 1990). These three themes are helpful as a guide in the research process and provide insights regarding verbal abuse where it is more than just hurtful, repetitive words.

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Lived Time Van Manen (1990) lived time is different to clock time or objective time. How do children expose to verbal abuse experience time? Is it agonizing? Is it a wondering about when it will end?

All the interviewee said that part of the abusive experience still lives inside him/her years after she left, and recgonition regarding the abuse often happens once they are seperated from their parents or friends pointing out the difference.

Van Manen’s (1990) Lived Time is also touched on the parent and child both share a history called ‘family time’, when times together become memories of either positive or negative recollections of childhood

All three women recalled mealtimes with their abusive parent as stressful and did not remember these times as relaxed or happy occasions.

Fig 1. A24 - The Farewell

CONTEXT

Fig 2. A24 - The Farewell

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Lived Body

Lived Space Although it may not be seen at first, their body language reveals they are anxiety and tense. While telling their story, all of the interviewee had to look down or gaze of into space when speaking about their experiences of verbal abuse due to the sensitive nature of the topic and their low self-esteem.

Space is which we find ourselves influence the way we feel (Van Manen, 1990) , and it should be a safe space which has something to do with the fundamental sense of our being. Lived space elaborate on how it feels living in the same space with parents who are verbally abusive.

The lived space of verbal abuse was often filled with loud, harsh, critical comments that surrounded the woman and left them with feeling worthless and shame. Tense, cautious, and afraid. Constraints by words and gestures from their abusive parent.

One interviewee remarked that her parents would frequently be arguing at mealtimes and the atmosphere was not relaxing or peaceful.