I Didn't Wake Up to Be Ordinary & Neither Did You: Embrace Your Extra & Live Extraordinary!

DR. JENNIFER BLALOCK

I DIDN’T WAKE UP TO BE ORDINARY AND NEITHER DID YOU!

I DIDN’T WAKE UP TO BE ORDINARY AND NEITHER DID YOU!

E m b r a c e Yo u r E x t r a & L i v e E x t r a o r d i n a r y

Dedication This book is dedicated to my daughter, Bailey Blalock, who inspires me to live, be, embrace, and celebrate extra in everything I do.

It is also dedicated to everyone who has ever been told they are: Too extra Too different Too much I celebrate you, I honor your extra, and I am so excited to see you live in your extra and soar! Never compromise, never give up, never doubt your extra is EXACTLY what this world needs.

Copyright @2022 by Dr. Jennifer Blalock All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system now known or invented, without permission in writing from the publisher, except a reviewer who wishes to quote brief passages in connection with a review written for inclusion in a magazine, newspaper, or broadcast.

Lots of Love & Extra Everything, Dr. Jennifer Blalock Chief Extra Officer

Table of Contents Chapter 01 Wake Up to Extraordinary! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11

Chapter 02 Embrace Your Extras . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18

“I DIDN’T WAKE UP TO BE ORDINARY & NEITHER DID YOU!”

By Dr. Jennifer Blalock A guide to embracing your extra on the way to extraordinary

Chapter 03 Eliminate Extra Obstacles. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28

Chapter 04 Own Your Extra. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44

Chapter 05 Activate your Extra. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 56

Chapter 06 Engage Your Extra. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 64

Chapter 07 Extra, Extra: Be All About It . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 72

Chapter 08 Elevate Extra. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 82

Bonus chapter/prologue The “Extra” Approach to Parenting . . . . . . . . . . . . . 90

Embrace extra engagement group Discussion Questions. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 92

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Introduction Like many of you, I’ve often felt the nudge to publish a book and often been encouraged after several of my client sessions, workshop presentations or conference keynotes. “I really enjoyed

YOUR OFFICIAL WELCOME TO LIVING THE “EXTRA” LIFE

your presentation. You should totally write a book.” “Hey, can you send me the link to your book or website? I want to buy one and purchase it.” I would sheepishly, but gratefully, reply, “Not yet, but I’m working on it.” Or, “Connect with me on LinkedIn.” Even better, at a virtual conference last year, I challenged myself and finally committed. “Okay, everyone. You have asked me about a book for the last two years and I keep saying it’s coming. By the time this conference arrives next year, I am publicly stating I’ll have a book published.”

So, here I am, ready to make good on that promise. Not just because I said I would, but also because I know there’s several ideas of substance and significance I have to share (my extras). I sincerely believe readers like you will benefit from these insights and I’ll grow as a result of your feedback and response to them.

These are things I would have loved for someone to introduce to and affirm for me as a mentor, a colleague, a supervisor, a coach.

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What I’ve learned from my professional experiences and

What prompted this full and comprehensive embrace of

services, particularly with the executive coaching work I conduct

the extra? I realized something extremely important: These

with individuals and companies across the country, is we would all

intangibles, intimately mine alone, will help guide me to live my

appreciate some words of encouragement, some actionable advice,

best life and to make the greatest impact on the world around me

and a simple, clear outline that helps us add some purpose to our

if I embrace, own, and engage them. My journey is now completely

pathway and some pep to our step. My goal is for this book and

centered around these extras because I didn’t wake up to be

the recommendations within it to add some much-needed sizzle

ordinary today or any day. I want to, instead, unwrap my extras,

to our all-too familiar tendency to settle and focus on someday,

elevate the ordinary, and live a life that’s extraordinary. This book

rather than enthusiastically shaping a today that realizes the very

is your opportunity to join me in that commitment.

best of ourselves, our dreams, and our what-ifs. Simply put, it’s time to fully reject the ordinary and the mundane. We owe it to ourselves to get excited about being and living extra and focusing on the elevation it will invariably bring to your life. And the best part is, all that extra inside of you is just waiting to come out in its fullest glory and most authentic spirit.

Ordinary Jennifer Blalock would have allowed the accolades and interest in cementing her expertise and concepts to remain just that, opting for the safety and surety of the expected. But I already cautioned you about who I am and how I approach life. I have to be true to myself, I have to be extra. This book is a manifestation of that spirit. I showed up for myself with this book because that’s

Who am I to share these insights and provide you with

my job and in doing so, I’m modeling the way for you to show up for

direction? What makes me a subject matter expert on transforming

yourself, too. I want to be that mentor who holds you accountable,

from the ordinary to the extraordinary? Hi. I’m Jennifer Blalock

that reinvigorated voice in your head that wakes you up with the

and I embrace my extra. Somehow, I was born with the innate

jolt you need to make today become what you were waiting for

ability to strive toward the sunlight, pursue excellence, aspire for

tomorrow to evolve into. I’m invested in providing the outline of

the additional, yes, “the extra.” I traditionally don’t and simply

how to do that in this book. Your challenge, which I am confident

stated, I won’t, settle for ordinary. I don’t want you to, either. I

you’ll accept, is to take that outline, personalize it, and action it in

have “extras” in me that make me special, that set me apart from

your own life TODAY.

anyone else. Over time, I stopped trying to squash those things that made me different and instead committed to developing them and letting them shine. In public, for all to see.

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This very day, you are ready to be anything but ordinary. That’s the only obligation you have – to be the best version of you on a daily basis. This moment offers everything you need to start maximizing

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output and achievement in your current destination and preparing you for your next stop toward personal and professional success.

Either location, the here and now or the what’s up next, is one that I’m daring you to approach with equal parts energy, enthusiasm, optimism, and hope. Stop waiting to be extraordinary. Wake up and start living that way now.

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CHAPTER

01

Wake Up to Extraordinary!

Wake up. You didn’t get out of bed today to be ordinary and neither did I. It’s truly time to get started. This book isn’t about battling the ordinary. It exists, it’ll always be a part of our lives. Instead, we’re here to activate the opportunity for extraordinary in you.

As I perused my nearly 100,000 digital images on my iPhone (additional evidence of my “extra”), looking for one singular image that summed up how I live an “extra” life, I opted to select several from the last few years that capture my energy and innate joy. My hope is that as you start to explore and celebrate your extras, you are overwhelmed with evidence, artifacts, memories and renewed vision of just how extraordinary you truly are!

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I suspect you’ve always known this about yourself. There’s been that little voice that has beckoned you to follow your heart, to show everybody what you are truly capable of. There’s been that nagging feeling that you aren’t like everyone else. Sometimes, they may have felt alienating or possibly depressing. But you weren’t born to be like anyone else. You were born to identify and develop what’s different and unique about you. You were destined to embrace your extra and use it to create your own extraordinary life pathway.

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Why haven’t you listened to it before? What exactly are you waiting for? If it’s an invitation, consider this your official handdelivered, customized invite and your purchase of this book the RSVP. You’ve arrived, darlings. Say it with me. Stand up right now, I dare you, wherever you are. Say it with confidence, even if you haven’t accepted my dare, to your biggest critic – yourself.

“I didn’t wake up to be ordinary and neither did you.” Good.

How did that feel? Now, let’s get this party started!

So often, I hear people planning for the future and packing a lot of “if-then” statements in the luggage they are putting in their proverbial trunk for that “someday” journey. If this happens, I’ll live my best life, take that career risk I’ve always dreamt of, move to that city I’ve always wanted to live in. But all that’s doing is weighing down how fast their “car” can get there. It’s definitely not fueling the tank nor planning a real road map for this journey toward whatever your intended destination is that is always waiting for you in some distant tomorrow. I refer to these “if-then” scenarios that are holding you back as “extra obstacles” and I’ve got a plan for you to silence them, leap over them, and move forward toward embracing your extra.

The only “If-then” scenario I’ll allow you to employ from this point forward is this: “If I wake up today, then I’m going to make the most of it in my actions, my thoughts, and my choices.”

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And why is that? Well, because waking up is the first step and your daily invitation to not only settle but to soar by leveraging the best of your “extras” – your talents, your skills, those incredible things inside of you that make you uniquely wonderful and completely vital to the story of your success.

“If I wake up today, then I’m going to make the most of it in my actions, my thoughts, and my choices.”

You did it. You woke up. You’re ready. I’m hopeful that with you reading this book, you’ve already checked that “if-then” scenario box with a resounding “Yes!” Starting right here and now, no other excuses are allowed to prevent the relentless pursuit of your best life, my friends. None. Don’t worry though, I’ve got answers for each of those “barriers” you’ve built into those “if-thens” that have kept you on the sidelines of your own life. For our purposes, I consider these “extra obstacles” – “but” situations that hold us back from actualizing our extras. Through the exercises in this book, we’ll come up with some “extra obstacle” busters. Sure enough, we’ll overcome them together.

Through the information I’m sharing with you, my goal is to serve as your chief cheerleader, your hype squad, your extra source of inspiration. I’ve signed on to be your “Chief Extra Officer” and our singular organizational goal is to assist you in living the most extraordinary edition of your life. By introducing ways you cannot only identify your extras but also leverage them into personal and professional accelerators, I will serve as your personal coach, a

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coach who wants you to win and encourages you to put in the work to achieve that competitive edge.

What do you have to commit to for this partnership to work?

Well, because it’s an accountability partnership, you’ll need to agree to be present, listen, absorb, and apply the concepts in real time. I know you can and I’m certain you will. We’ve got 24 hours each and every day to show up and show out for ourselves, which will invariably benefit others around us. Let’s commit to doing just that, by taking advantage of every day we’ve been gifted with to share and celebrate our own extras.

Ultimately, I want to activate that spirit of enthusiasm and accountability for living your extra inside of you so you can replace my voice with your own. This will ensure the extra never stops.

For everyday you approach with your extras in full effect, you are guaranteeing a life of extra opportunities, options, and experiences.

That’s the kind of life you deserve, the life others only dream of.

EXTRA AGREEMENT Name: Date: Today, I’m making a commitment to myself to embrace my extra.

I agree to:

Be patient with myself during the extra journey Listen to and learn the concepts about living an extra+ordinary life Absorb the extra recommendations and apply them in real life Accept that not everyone will understand or appreciate my extras Commit to developing my extras over time Be kind to myself and proud of what makes me extra Signature:

Extra Tip: Hang this somewhere you’ll see it regularly or keep it in your journal or planner.

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EXTRA INSPIRATION SPOTLIGHT After her thriving early childhood center burned down, Dr. Cynthia Smith decided to elevate her “extra” from the ashes of one dream by using them to ignite another.

Smith rebranded and launched a now multi-location, award winning STEM academy; built an event center; and now manages a six-figure consulting business.

MEET

She invests in others around her, helping to add to their extra and being true to hers. Still working toward her goal to meet and work with Oprah, Dr. Smith thrives in the extra zone.

DR. CYNTHIA SMITH

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02

Embrace Your Extras I’m extra all by myself. I know this. I’m not ashamed of it. I’m actually pretty proud of it. Who wants to be ordinary? Not me. And certainly no one that is reading a book with this bodacious title. I’m glad we are all on the same page about how beneficial being extra is. If you need more proof, just remember that when you +ordinary up with extra, you get extraordinary. That formula seems like a winning formula to me.

Instead of shying away from how great you and your extras are, what would happen if you embraced it? Imagine the ripple effect of you waking up and embracing how incredible you are each and every day. That’s what we’re here to talk about. I’m glad you signed up because by embracing how great you are, you have already laid a foundation to light your path to continued excellence.

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Bring on the extra – there’s not only room for it, there’s also a need for it in the world around you, which will be better from your willingness to embrace it.

We all have extras – those born this way gifts or talents we’ve honed over time. I say that with no hesitation. I’m also convinced of this next statement. You have plenty of them. Maybe no one has ever told you that. That’s okay – you don’t need to hear it from anyone else for it to be true. Yes, it certainly helps to have that external endorsement, but before any of that, let’s focus on you embracing your extras. What makes you special, different, better, bolder, ready, right? Well, a lot of things do. Let’s focus on YOU defining and refining those things because without your acknowledgment, there’s no foundation for all the external accolades in the world to build upon.

Start by asking yourself. “What am I great at?” You have my permission to even begin with, “What do I want to be great at?” if you don’t feel ready to answer that first question. Some other ways to think about it: What do you do really well?

What do you enjoy doing?

I don’t care if you are unemployed, in debt, blocking creditors, facing eviction. You always have the right and the responsibility to shout out and celebrate the answer to any of those questions.

I can give you a list, with confidence, of at least ten things I know I’m great at. Is that cocky? Maybe, but would you want a surgeon

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to perform intricate heart surgery on your most beloved family member if they spoke with uncertainty or even humility about how good they are at the procedure? I wouldn’t.

Here’s some questions I want you to ponder. They are “if-then” statements that are likely standing in the way of you embracing your extras:

1.

If you can’t articulate your extras to yourself or others, then how will anyone else learn about them?

2.

If you can’t demonstrate or provide evidence of your extras, then how can you prove they are gifts?

3.

If you aren’t convinced of the value of your extras, then why would anyone else be?

You might already be thinking I’m arrogant. It’s okay, I don’t mind. My clarity comes from spending time on #1 and being able to clearly and confidently identify and embrace my gifts. I earnestly and ambitiously embrace my “extras”. I’ve told you before and I’ll tell you again. I genuinely did not wake up to be ordinary today.

That would be a completely wasted today. I’ve got things I am here to do. I’ve got people, stuff, ideas, and talents it’s my responsibility to give to this world.

So, what exactly are my extras? Well, to begin with, I’m pretty talented at inspiring and motivating others by helping them reflect on and identify their own talents, passion, and purpose. But I don’t stop there. If they are open to it, I’ll spend some time helping them develop a plan of how to use those extras in a way that brings them

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personal fulfillment, professional success, and a quality of life that makes every day extraordinary. I’m so sure of this particular “extra”, I’m even writing a book about it.

You? You’re intrigued enough to not only have bought the book, but to also be reading it. Thanks for doing your part to help me further develop my extra. I’m truly grateful and don’t worry, I have you covered because I have other extras the rest of this book will reveal and connect to your pursuit of the extraordinary every day.

You see, I have the security of knowing I can back up #2 and #3 above tenfold. I’ve got the confidence of achievement and action on my side. You likely do as well but haven’t dedicated the time to really evaluate what you think you can do and what you have specific, detailed proof of to silence any doubt (including selfdoubt) that you can and have done it.

Remember, the difference between being arrogant and being confident is this – confidence is being able to connect the bold statements of purpose and performance with actual facts and achievements. Arrogance is not supported by evidence. I’m not suggesting you do anything in this book that isn’t aligned with what you’re great at or working to become even better at.

For me, I’ve touched a lot of lives by taking the time to dwell in my “extra” skills and talents that make me who I am. I understood the assignment of activating and engaging that extra to make a difference by externally connecting it to inspire others around me. To take it a step further, I’ve enjoyed even more “extra” from sticking around to embrace the way each of those individuals have benefitted my gifts and made me better for it.

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It’s confirmation for me that life is about making choices. As human beings, we rationalize who and what we choose to be in our lives. This process of pursuing the extraordinary is about choosing to embrace the extra inside of you, that beautiful gift of individual talents that make you, you, and being willing to unwrap them! It is all about YOU making the choice to: Embrace Your Extra: Identify, define, and collect evidence of what makes you different than anyone else Eliminate Extra Obstacles: Acknowledge what’s holding you back and persevere in spite of those obstacles in the way!

Own Your Extra: Passionately believe in the value of those talents and gifts

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add them as further affirmation of what we already accept to be irrefutable truths about ourselves.

Let’s try and be nice to ourselves. Like really nice. The same way we’d compliment others, let’s consider what’s worthy of affirmation about us. Every day, say something (lots of things!) nice to yourself. Even better, mean it!

Begin the worksheet on page 24. It’s okay if you don’t have all the answers yet but you MUST write in at least 5 things in the “Identifying My Extra” column, even if they are aspirational. We’ll work through it as we keep moving closer toward extraordinary throughout the book.

Activate Your Extra: Make a case for why you do those things better than or in a way that adds value to others Engage Your Extra: Make a difference in your family, with your friends, at your workplace by sharing your extra with those who need it.

Elevate Your Extra: Articulate convincingly to yourself these statements with enthusiasm, clarity, and confidence That critical first step centers around learning about your gifts and celebrating them individually. We’ve all had experiences in our lives where people tell us good things about ourselves we don’t believe to be true. Those are nice compliments, but they are meaningless until we are comfortable enough in our own skin to

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EMBRACE MY EXTRA EXERCISE 1

Identifying My Extra: Things I’m Great At or Aspire to Be Great At

1 2

Evidence: An Example Of How I’m Great at It

Evidence: An Example Of How I’m Great at It Engage: How My Extra Can Help or Benefit Myself and Others

EXTRA APPLICATION

1.

Now, take a photo of what you’ve written and print it out, read it daily, post it somewhere visible, make it your phone wallpaper.

2.

At least once a day (preferably more) I want you to take some time complimenting yourself with the things you are extraordinary at or are working toward becoming extraordinary at.

3 4 5

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EXTRA INSPIRATION SPOTLIGHT Who says reality tv is bad? After living in Charleston for my first “home away from home” experience, I was super excited to watch the Bravo show, Southern Charm, which showcased some young professionals in Charleston, South Carolina, featuring Craig Conover. Craig managed to overcome challenges and embrace his extra, sewing!

MEET

CRAIG CONOVER

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I was able to meet him in person at his new store, Sewing Down South. He’s also written a MEET book, Pillow Talk: What’s Wrong With My Sewing?”

Southern Charm is a registered trademark of Bravo Media LLC.

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03

Eliminate Extra Obstacles

There’s a scene in one of my all-time favorite comedies, “Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure,” where Pee Wee, the main character on a road trip to find his beloved bike, is talking to a smalltown waitress who has dreamt of running away to pursue a dream but hasn’t due to a variety of “if-then” and “buts.” In a comedic double entendre, he says, “Everyone I know has a big but.” Enjoy a quick chuckle but also embrace that he’s correct. We all do and I’m no exception.

For every dream you have, there’s a possible dream dasher. That “but” statement that is keeping you from taking action or moving forward. There’s likely more than one.

It could be a person who doesn’t believe you can do it or points out all the obstacles in your way. It could be your family obligations, your health, your finances. The list is long. Your list of extras has to be stronger, not longer, but stronger. And you’ve got to combat the most powerful “extra obstacle” of all – you and your own limiting self-beliefs.

Consider some of the top extra obstacles – those but statements - that are holding you back and keeping you tied up in ordinary, where you don’t belong, and away from truly realizing your extras.

Extra Obstacle: But Nobody Told Me I AM Extra+ordinary I can see it now. You’ve seen my picture. Perhaps you’ve read my biography on the book cover. You’re reading my confident banter about myself. A lot of assumptions may be popping up.

“She probably has a great support system.” “I bet she grew up with wonderful mentors.” There may be a whole list of things you think happened in my life or that I’m surrounded with. The truth is, no one of significance in my life ever told me I was special or that I offered anything extraordinary to the world at any time during my formative years. Not my parents, not some storybook mentor, not a contest, award, or designation I won.

If you looked at my demographics, I had every extra obstacle you can think of that should have stood in my way. I was exposed to many things that should have convinced me I was anything but special – trauma, abuse, neglect, poverty. I grew up in a single parent household and my mother had an 8th grade education.

(She would later go on to her earn her high school equivalency diploma when I was in first grade, establishing a legacy of “extra”.)

The stats and predictors on my success would all have soundly suggested these extra obstacles were insurmountable enough to prevent me from embracing my extra. I should have been a statistic. However, I decided (yep, me) those things weren’t extra obstacles – they were bonuses that added to my “extra” and overcame any “ordinary.” In this instance, that “ordinary” included

Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure is the property of Warner Bros.

Copyright @1985

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all those negative perceptions of what someone like me should or was destined to become.

No one told me that. I was blessed to be able to figure that out on my own, through experiences, research, reading, and more.

You are reading a book that is directly telling you some important things. And this may be one of the most important disclosures: Here it is: Your Extra(s) + Your Ordinary= You. Are. Extraordinary.

There, someone said it. And I mean it. I don’t have to know anything else about you to be convinced of that. You are reading a book entitled, “I Didn’t Wake Up to Be Ordinary and Neither Did You.” You are already interested enough to listen to that voice inside of you that’s always wondered, considered, been kind of curious about how incredible you really are or could be.

Let me take it a bit further. Don’t get all shy on me now. You wanted some confirmation, some affirmation. I have my doctorate in this stuff, folks. I know what extraordinary, successful, and talented looks like. I promise you this:

1.

There’s no one else like you.

2.

You are special.

3.

You can do things in a way nobody else can.

4.

You add value to this world.

5.

The world is waiting on you to do your thing and do it well.

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6.

Those “extras” inside of you are going to make your world and mine a better place if you embrace them, activate them, share them, and elevate them.

7.

You. Are. Extraordinary!

How did I find out what it means to be extraordinary? I studied, researched, and read about people, places, things, actions that inspire me. I defined and taught myself. I learned about myself. I observed others. I noticed ways I was different, unique, had ideas.

I tried new things. I asked others. I learned from, was mentored by, and modeled others who were doing things I aspired to do. I failed. I tried again. I f’d up. I lost faith. I regained faith. I doubted.

I convinced me. I created and authored the story of my success– with evidence – for myself. As I’ve gotten out into the world, I’ve continued to learn, refine, and re-evaluate. I’ve adapted, changed and reemerged. I’ve asked for help when I needed it. I even tried to be ordinary until I realized it simply wasn’t in the cards for me to live a life like that.

Ultimately, I decided that whatever fluctuations occurred around me, I had to hold on to what was good|great within me to drive and guide my extra which leads me to….

Extra Obstacle: But I Don’t Have The Title, Education, or Experience to Back Up My Extra

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For the purposes of this book, I’m known as Jennifer Blalock, Chief Extra Officer (CEO). But if you are connected with me on LinkedIn or have worked with me before, you may also have heard me refer to myself as “Chief Energy Officer.” That’s another of my gifts – I am open to and ready to receive new energy and create it. I first heard the term when reading a book by Jon Gordon, The Energy Bus, which I highly recommend. I was in the right place and position to choose that title for myself the minute I read it. Why would I wait for others around me to give me a title when I can create my own and live it? Now, don’t get it twisted. Was I always confident about that, too? No, my boldness here was inspired by a very dark time of self-doubt in my own journey.

For the bulk of my career, I lived and died by my business card.

I was there for it, friends. It meant so much to me to be affirmed by that title or even by that degree. Then, I did a crazy, risky thing. I quit a position I loved, anticipating it would only be a matter of time until I earned a position of equal or superior status. After all, hadn’t my hard work, training, study, and accomplishments, bolstered by my extensive network, resulted in that every time before?

During the next five months, which included some of the most depressing and doubtful times of my adult life, on both a personal and professional level, I felt like a nobody. I accepted a consulting gig that was nothing it was supposed to be and “who” I was felt compromised, challenged, and defeated. What about me changed, however? Wasn’t I still full of energy, ideas, encouragement, inspiration, and innovation? Had all the training, experience, and wisdom I’d accumulated over my three decades

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in the workforce been erased by my poor judgment and less than fulfilling professional position?

Then it hit me. Yes, Jennifer you were still that person with all of those unique gifts and talents that make you special. No, Jennifer, this disappointing position didn’t strip away your value to the world of work or to your career field. I made a commitment right then and there my “business” card would never change again, unless I initiated the change. I decided to take control of my professional value, which I also had to put in check and separate from my personal value. I existed as an extraordinary human being whose talents and gifts had the potential to contribute to the betterment of those around me, my community, my world. Period.

Anything else “lacking” in the boxes needing to be checked to fully realize my potential I had the power to address. Money?

I could save it and spend it any way I decided was important to me. Therefore, I had to identify what was important to me and set goals. Education and training? If there were areas of knowledge I had gaps in or things I needed, I had the ability to fill those gaps with new studies, programs, and more. Experience? Even if it meant working for free, I could make that happen. Reaching out to others who were already doing what I was interested in doing or who had similar gifts was at my fingertips. I didn’t even have to talk to them directly – but I could read about them, study their habits, be inspired by their achievements in a myriad of ways. From online meet-ups to requesting a mentorship to a study of their LinkedIn profile, it was all on me to learn from and then customize for my journey.

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What can you learn from my experience? That embracing your extra is possible, too, despite the challenges and extra obstacles in your way. You have everything you need to be successful and to achieve extraordinary things within you. Some of those things may need support, but if you embrace your extra as a starting point, you’ll be able to overcome anything with tenacity and grit.

Extra Obstacle: But I Have(n’t) Done Anything Extraordinary Yes, you have done extraordinary things. Stop arguing with me. 😊 This thing called your life is different than anyone else’s life.

You’ve made choices, signed up, showed up, achieved in ways others have not. Without context you might not realize just how extraordinary your journey is. I don’t know what you’ve done but I’m certain there have been moments, experiences, and events that have shaped you; highlights and lowlights that have built who you are today; and other elements that all have contributed to your life storyline.

Let me give you an example of what being extraordinary looks like if you are willing to open your mind to it AND you appreciate that being extra isn’t always flashing lights, awards, and huge, life-changing moments. Instead, everyday extras can also be a series of consistent, courageous steps where you stood up to push forward, give more, challenge the status quo, do what wasn’t expected or more than was. Here it is. And in my opinion, it was such a profound moment, I felt the need to include it in this book and share it with you.

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It wasn’t a dark and stormy night. Instead, it was a noisy and loud meeting of a city agency. There were about fourteen educated, experienced professionals in a room, all attempting to communicate important information over the loud buzz of lawn maintenance machinery being used to tame the lush landscape outside of the historic building we were meeting in. A few of us chuckled, lamenting how it was just our luck that the same day we’d scheduled this important meeting happened to be the same day for scheduled lawn care, too. A few others adjusted their volume and tone, attempting to communicate over the noise.

But not Larry. Quiet but committed, Larry stood up from his seat, walked out the door toward the source of the noise, and came back several minutes later. The noise had subsided. He didn’t have to say anything to us. We figured out what had been handled.

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A Guide by Dr. Jennifer Blalock

In my infinite wisdom, I decided to bring that heroic effort (Hey, he saved the meeting!) to light and applaud Larry. Even better, I gave him one of my ubiquitous titles – Chief Solutions Officer.

You see, there was a problem and thirteen other organizational leaders, including myself, knew there was a problem. But only one person solved the problem and that was Larry. Larry’s ability to quickly, confidently, and effectively take care of a disruptive issue made all the difference in the impact of that meeting. Others knew it was problem, but they didn’t go into action mode. Larry did. He earned the title because he displayed an extra quality others in the room might also have but didn’t deploy. He made a choice to be extra and our ears, our voices, and our collective meeting agenda were all the recipients of the resulting outcome of his smart and strategic move.

A Guide by Dr. Jennifer Blalock

Grab a piece of paper and start a “lifeline”. Draw a straight line the width of the paper. At the far left of the line, put your date of birth. At the far right of the line, put today’s date. Put dots along the way in sequence order from meaningful times that you believe have helped you become who you are today, led you to where you are today.

For each challenge, put that “below” the line. (Arrow down).

For each triumph, put that above the line. (Arrow up). For each arrow (up or down), consider what YOU did to get above the line or to get back up from below the line. Chances are you’ve overcome and achieved some pretty impressive things.

That’s the kind of person I want on my team, the kind of colleague I know I can count on. How about you? The beauty is that Larry’s effort was nothing too crazy, nothing that cost him extra money or much in terms of time or effort, but something that truly made a difference. I’m sure you do things like that all the time – or you could if you invited yourself to live your truth and embrace your extras.

Here are a few activities you can tackle to start figuring out what you have done that’s extraordinary: Dust off the resume. It’s a start but likely doesn’t include all of your most powerful moments.

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Ask your friends and family, aka your cheer squad. Please note, I understand that sometimes your cheer squad is small or maybe feels non-existent. If you don’t have a cheer squad, build one or even buy one to get started. Hire an executive coach if you need to so you can get the cheer squad started.

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A Guide by Dr. Jennifer Blalock

A Guide by Dr. Jennifer Blalock

Ask them: What have you done really well? What do they see in you? What extras do they love about you?

follow. Your “extra” is not defined by what is or isn’t in your bank account, unless you allow it to be. So don’t.

Study, learn from, and forget about your foes and failures.

For those who aren’t in your corner, ask yourself why. What, if anything, can you learn from their resistance? Learn from it and move on. The same goes for your “failures” – what could you have done and will you do better moving forward?

For every doubt you have about that, go to YouTube and watch a TedTalk of how some of the greatest individuals, creators, performers, achievers, visionaries, entrepreneurs, leaders, etc.. of all time have overcome these types of extra “buts” that could have held them down but instead inspired them to achieve things beyond their wildest imagination. Write yourself a check for the amount of money you think you need to be extraordinary and hang it up as a reminder of what you are leveraging your extra to achieve.

Communicate, celebrate, and own what you’ve already done.

You’re freaking awesome. Remember that and be strategic about reminding others in case they forget. Mostly, they want to know and are better for the reminder. Keep in mind – this includes reminding yourself on those days when self-doubt starts creeping in.

Prepare to do even more incredible and extraordinary things.

What extra obstacles are holding you back and standing between you and extraordinary? I’ll indulge you to write them out here but for each of them, you MUST make a commitment to busting that extra obstacle and overcoming it.

Extra Obstacle: But I Don’t Have the Money to Be Extraordinary That “but” just sounds silly all the way around. No amount of money will fundamentally make you better. Sure, it may open some doors or give you access to different opportunities and resources, but at the end of the day, if you don’t have extraordinary in you, it won’t matter. Your extra moves you toward the right type of decisions, the best work ethic, the kind of service and innovation that people, customers, clients, organizations gravitate toward.

All the stuff money can facilitate can be achieved by being “extra” in relationships, performance, and perspective. The money will

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A Guide by Dr. Jennifer Blalock

A Guide by Dr. Jennifer Blalock

MY EXTRA “OBSTACLE” BUSTER PLAN EXERCISE 2 The Extra Obstacle that’s preventing me from embracing my extra is:

The way I’ll use my extra to overcome this “Extra Obstacle”

Other Resources I’ll use to overcome this “Extra Obstacle”

THE EXTRA OBSTACLE BUSTER TIP My Deadline to Eliminate this “Extra Obstacle” Entirely

Do yourself a huge favor. Refuse to let yourself be held back by any of these “extra” obstacles or life circumstances, people, challenges, etc.. you may identify as holding you back.

Remember, everyone has them, but only those who refuse to settle for ordinary and launch their EXTRAS will overcome them.

Make a promise to yourself that you, too, will transcend the extra obstacles and get ready to move closer to the extraordinary life you deserve!

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A Guide by Dr. Jennifer Blalock

A Guide by Dr. Jennifer Blalock

EXTRA INSPIRATION SPOTLIGHT For nearly three decades, Dr. Adam Pitluk was the executive editor and the face of several internationally published magazines. But his extra demanded to be heard. He walked away from it all to pursue a doctorate, transition careers, author several books, and create his own luxury publishing company, which boasts ten monthly publications. “I wanted to create a legacy for my daughters that challenging the ordinary by embracing your extra is truly the joy of life.”

MEET

DR. ADAM PITLUK

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04

Own Your Extra

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Your life is dynamic and encompasses many aspects of importance. Typically, we consider it from the lens of the personal and the professional. Owning your extras will have benefits to both of those life categories. To own our extra, let’s consider each of these lenses and how what gifts we have can serve their growth and development.

Identifying and embracing your extra is a solid first step in your journey toward an extraordinary life. Owning your extra is much more complex and layered than the work we’ve done so far. By claiming and making the effort to embrace your extra, those special skills you have that separate you from everyone else and position you to live an extraordinary life, you have laid some important groundwork as you build your house of awesome. You’ve also considered how to overcome those extra obstacles that can hold you back.

THE PERSONAL

What exactly does it mean to own your extra? In the initial Extra Worksheet, I challenged you to articulate your superpowers, the special things about you that position you for extraordinary and to offer evidence in the form of examples of those attributes. In the third column, I suggested you start to consider how to engage those extras in real life. In this chapter, we’ll focus on what that engagement should look like.

It’s okay to:

It’s okay to focus on you. In fact, for our purposes, I want you to do that exclusively for this section. Knowing that you are incredible, gifted, talented, and a vessel of light, how can YOU make life better for YOU? We are conditioned to give to others, but rarely think about how we can contribute to our own growth and advancement. I’m going to say this specifically and I want you to accept this challenge.

Your gifts and the extra inside of you are designed to make YOU happy, fulfilled, loved, supported, and encouraged.

Support yourself Share your extras with yourself Prioritize your needs Be driven and guided by your own purpose Invest in your own development

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A Guide by Dr. Jennifer Blalock

A Guide by Dr. Jennifer Blalock

CONSIDER: In what ways can you use your extra to benefit yourself? I shared that I’m excellent at helping individuals recognize their purpose and develop a plan to achieve it. How can I do that for others if I don’t first acknowledge my own purpose and plan?

MY PERSONAL EXTRA APPLICATION EXERCISE 3

Here’s the burning question, then: What is your purpose and how do your extras contribute to the development of that?

Defining your purpose can feel a bit vague and overwhelming.

But deep down, only you know what that purpose is. It can be discovered through authentic self-reflection and transparency of priorities.

For example, are there elements of your personal life you’d like to improve or actualize? This might include relationships, friendships, health and wellness, even levels of happiness and joy.

It’s important to truly articulate and grasp what happiness and joy mean to you. Then, you can connect those things to your extras and build bridges to help achieve the presence of more of that in your daily life.

My definition:

My Extra(s) related to this:

Ways I can connect these daily and increase the frequency of:

Joy

Happiness

Complete the chart to help guide your reflection on how to connect your extras to your own personal fulfillment: Love

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Additionally, I recommend crafting a personal statement of purpose. This will be a living, breathing, and dynamic statement that will continuously be reviewed and evaluated. But it’s a great focal point from which to own your extra. A typical statement of purpose is similar to a mission statement for yourself. Consider what drives or guides you, how your extra contributes to that, and why you are doing it.

A Guide by Dr. Jennifer Blalock

MY PERSONAL STATEMENT OF PURPOSE EXERCISE 4

Here’s a sample personal statement of purpose: My Purpose is to make a difference in the lives of others by leveraging my ability to help people identify their talents and create an action plan to maximize them.

It states what I’m going to do, how I’m going to do it, and what the impact will be.

My Purpose is to:

Using which “extras”:

Now, you try. What is your premium extra, the thing(s) you do best, and how are you going to leverage that talent?

So that this impact is achieved:

Put all three sections together to create your Personal Statement of Purpose (PSP):

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Put it altogether and start owning that statement. Make it your LinkedIn headline. Use it as the title of your next keynote. Replace that stale professional objective on your resume with it. Put it in your email signature. Do whatever it takes to truly embrace and own that extra so it becomes a palpable part of who you know and expect yourself to be and how you guide your life.

THE PROFESSIONAL Now, let’s transition to the professional. How can you own your extras and your purpose in a way that’s beneficial to your professional pathway? Get ready because there’s a lot to do here and the best part is, it will add to, but not supplement, for your personal benefit, too.

Your extras are identified. They are supported by your evidence and solid examples of how you’ve demonstrated them in daily life.

You are challenging yourself to continue behaving in a way that’s driven by them, thanks to your personal statement of purpose (PSP).

A Guide by Dr. Jennifer Blalock

Every one of your extras has the potential to impact and benefit a professional journey, whether your own individual business or contributing to a larger organization. It’s a matter of allowing the extras you own and the resulting personal statement of purpose to significantly influence your professional path.

At the heart of your extras are connections to key performance metrics in the professional world, referred to as knowledge, skills, and abilities. Knowledge, skills, and abilities are what guide the best of job descriptions, career clusters, and industry performance standards. Let’s complete the exercise below to build that bridge.

Remember, others may not naturally acknowledge you have extras or recognize those special skills that set you apart from your peers. It’s your job to articulate those extras in a meaningful way that convinces them of the benefit to others.

Let’s get this cleared up straight away. If your personal statement of purpose is not guiding or aligned with your professional statement of purpose, you will not be able to achieve your maximum potential and live your best life. You simply won’t.

There has to be alignment, a symmetry of sensibilities.

So, considering your personal statement of purpose and all of your key extras, how can those translate and transfer into professional achievement and impact?

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A Guide by Dr. Jennifer Blalock

Career preparation and awareness, Career

MY PROFESSIONAL EXTRA PLAN

Knowledge:

EXERCISE 5

My Extra

Knowledge, Skill & Ability Connection

competencies, Industry expectations and performance standards, Education, experience, and training requirements

Skills:

Connecting individual extras, skills and talents to aligned career pathways

Abilities:

Communicating and coaching individuals to build an action plan and complete required action to develop personally and professionally.

Professional Benefit

PROFESSIONAL BENEFIT: Helping Human Resources and other organizational departments recruit, select, and retain the right talent to achieve their organizational goals Assisting individual coaching clients in articulating their value to hiring professionals, clients, and organizations to secure their career growth

Based on the chart above, if I used my “extra” of helping people identify their purpose and realize their full professional potential, I could identify the following Knowledge, Skills & Abilities:

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See what I did there? For my identified extra, I built out KSAs for it and then provided two different professional benefits. One professional pathway would benefit my desire to work for a company. The other would benefit my ability to secure individual clients. I may wish to do both or prioritize one over the other, based on my awareness of and alignment with my personal statement of purpose.

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A Guide by Dr. Jennifer Blalock

A Guide by Dr. Jennifer Blalock

EXTRA INSPIRATION SPOTLIGHT The title Retired Brigadier General Vincent Buggs, U.S. Army, might seems like the epitome of “extra” itself.

But that’s not enough for Buggs, who teaches full-time, introduced a podcast, is launching not one but two new businesses, and is one of the nation’s most sought-after keynote and leadership consultants. His apparel brand, “Embrace the Power” is directly reflective of embracing your extra, something to which Buggs has dedicated his “retirement.” “I’m giving more extra than I ever have and I love it.”

MEET

VINCENT BUGGS

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05

Activate your Extra Because you have embraced your extra(s) and you can own and articulate the benefit of those extras, you are well positioned to secure your personal and professional goals. This may mean achieving a long-standing personal

return.

Simply put, your extras won’t realize their full potential without activation and application. I’m asking you, today, in this moment, to connect those incredible talents and gifts of yours, those extras you’ve been keeping as secrets, to real-world situations and scenarios. It’s time. You woke up and today, and everyday going forward, you’ve got a responsibility to activate your extras, those incredible superpowers and special skills, and make our world a better place. It’s just that simple.

To activate and apply your extra(s) requires a contract with ourselves. We’ve identified all of the following thus far:

goal such as weight loss, running a marathon,

We are extra! We have extras that make us special, different

professionally contracting work with a company

from others, and able to contribute in a meaningful and

or a client, or getting that dream job you’ve had

significant way.

on your vision board. The real work comes now as you activate and apply your extra.

Let’s be honest. It’s hard to muster up the energy, enthusiasm, and motivation to be the best version of yourself every day. There are so many externals and extra obstacles that are easy to gravitate toward, compelling us to settle for ordinary. That’s where we must dig down into our resolve and apply our extras to

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daily living. It’s an extensive investment but one that offers great

We don’t want to live an ordinary life because we acknowledge we are capable of and won’t be satisfied with anything less than extraordinary.

We know and can articulate what our extra(s) is|are, how these extras can benefit ourselves and our world, and our personal statement of purpose.

We see that our extras have benefit and value to our own lives and to our professional lives.

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A Guide by Dr. Jennifer Blalock

Through a commitment to these acknowledgments, we are now ready to activate and apply our extras to truly live an extraordinary life.

The first step in the activation process is already done. In the previous chapter, we identified and built bridges to how our extras connected to personal joy, happiness, and love as well as to professional pathways and achievement.

Now, we must carve out supportive behaviors that contribute to the continuous achievement and impact we promised in our personal statement of purpose. Every “extra” requires something to help elevate its impact and achieve sustainability and scalability.

What do you need to do to help continue to develop your extras so you can fully activate and apply them? What daily behaviors support the extras you have today and position them to give you the competitive edge tomorrow? What benchmarks will you use to measure and maintain the impact of your extra(s)?

Here are some recent extra memories with those who fill up my cup and appreciate my extra!

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A Guide by Dr. Jennifer Blalock

Fill out the Extra Activation Plan Below.

EXTRA ACTIVATION PLAN EXERCISE 6

My Extra

Ways I Can Activate My Extra

How I Will Measure the Impact of My Extra

For my extra of serving others through personal and career coaching, I know I’ve got to pursue continuous learning, training, and education. Is there a certificate or additional coursework I should be pursuing? Are there professional networks I can join?

Conferences I can attend? How will I know I’m at the top of my extra game, personally and professionally? How will I hold myself accountable?

Your Extra Activation Chart can help keep you motivated and in constant development so your extras always give you the competitive edge and keep you out of the ordinary lane.

There’s just no way around it except to say that living an extraordinary life where you activate your extras may mean extra effort, extra “work”, extra everything. But if it’s the kind of extra that feeds our soul, our spirit, and contributes to the fulfillment of our personal statement of purpose, isn’t that a good thing?

Everything worthwhile in life requires going the extra mile to excel and achieve. Living an extraordinary life centered around your extras is not exception.

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A Guide by Dr. Jennifer Blalock

EXTRA INSPIRATION SPOTLIGHT Yvonne Perrone is known for giving all of her business ventures her “extra.” It’s what her clients love most about her. When an injury sidelined her first professional passion, dance fitness courses, Yvonne pivoted her “extra” and committed to making women embrace their inner and outer beauty. Her Facebook and Instragram live features inspire her multitude of fans and customers, who love and appreciate her extra.

MEET

YVONNE PERRONE

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06

Engage Your Extra

While it’s important to apply your extras to help you grow individually, the ultimate benefit of committing to an extraordinary life and fully leveraging your gifts is to share it with the world. That can mean whatever niche market, population, organization you deem worthy of sharing in your extras. Choosing to engage with others may allow you to truly showcase the fullest potential of your extra.

How will you do it? First, be real with yourself. What connection platforms are you most comfortable with? Which method of sharing make the most sense for you, your personal preferences, and your audience?

Today’s world offers unlimited options for engagement, likely to meet each person’s needs. From web conferences to one on one mentoring sessions to writing a book, there are innumerable ways to share your extras and inspire others.

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Engaging your extra doesn’t have to mean a professional relationship. It can be applied to your relationships with family and friends, to your parenting. The best part of sharing is you get to decide with whom, how often, and in what ways you’ll share it.

Here is an example of engage your extra: Your Extra: Perhaps you’ve identified one of your extras is public speaking and powerful presentations.

Professional Extra Engagement: Consider volunteering at work to facilitate a training or provide mentoring on a particular extra you have and embrace. You could build a self-paced training and|or facilitate a face-to-face training, including pre and post assessments to measure impact.

PROFESSIONAL EXTRA IMPACT: Peers, colleagues, and team are better equipped to facilitate powerful presentations and convey important concepts across the organization You have built evidence to demonstrate your extra and its impact through quantitative (number of people trained) and qualitative (pre and post self-assessment, survey feedback after the training) methods.

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Consider one of your key extras and complete the Extra Share Card below:

EXTRA ENGAGEMENT CARD EXERCISE 7

Personal Statement of Purpose:

Identified Extra

Personal Extra Engagement:

Professional Extra Engagement:

Evidence & Impact Measure:

A Guide by Dr. Jennifer Blalock

A life lived in the “extra” zone can get tiresome and requires regular engagement. This means extending your hype squad and your cheerleaders to support the encouragement and engagement you need to refuel and stay committed. Here are some examples of ways you can continue to remain engaged.

Build out your online presence through vlogging, blogging, and posting in professionally and personally aligned online spaces.

Join professional networking groups and volunteer to share and showcase your extras through presentations and workshops.

Mentor others and seek out mentorship.

Connect with your peers at work and in your field to keep the conversation going about your extras and theirs.

Engage with your hype|cheer squad who believe in the value of your extras and keep the conversation going.

Build Extra Engagement activities into your life in new and innovative ways. Examples might include an Extra Engagement Crew that meets monthly; a book discussion group; or a small group of clients who all have committed to embracing their extras and living an extraordinary life.

Okay, so I know you have a question you want to ask but are concerned it might seem like you aren’t willing to fully commit to engaging your extra.

What if others think my extra is too…..extra?

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Let’s start by accepting this norm – you demonstration of your extra does not mean everyone will embrace it or guarantee that it will be accepted by everyone. That’s okay. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be engaging in your extra.

A Guide by Dr. Jennifer Blalock

HERE ARE SOME TIPS TO APPROACH INDIVIDUALS WHO AREN’T RESPONSIVE TO ENGAGING WITH YOU Explain your extra and its value in terms they can connect with.

Educate them on your approach to life and why you are so passionate about your extras. Share your story, like I’ve shared mine with you. Education overcomes fear and encourages understanding.

Inspire others to be true to their extra. Sometimes their reticence to support your extras are rooted in their failure to understand and embrace their own extras. By encouraging them to live up to their full potential and share their gifts, they’ll feel more connected to your extraordinary journey.

Employ diplomacy. There will be environments that allow you to truly exhibit your extra and others where it may not be appropriate or embraced. Find your spaces, fill them, and blossom there until others see how beneficial those extras are to the places they grow in.

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A Guide by Dr. Jennifer Blalock

EXTRA INSPIRATION SPOTLIGHT Khalifa Dieye

MEET

Math teacher by day. Serial entrepreneur by night, weekend, and every minute of the day. Khalifa Dieye never stops working, always going the extra mile to realize his dreams. A native of Senegal, Dieye logs countless hours building his additional hustles, including photography and branding. His current project, rehabbing an urban core abandoned building in Jacksonville into an event space and photography studio, is pushing his extra even further. “It’s what keeps me going. I’ll never stop pushing.”

KHALIFA DIEYE

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07

Extra, Extra: Be All About It In addition to those extras that differentiate us from the ordinary and mundane, it’s important to consider how putting an “extra” in front of several key areas will push us closer to the achievement the best version of ourselves as well as create the life circumstances necessary for our extras to thrive and prosper.

I’ve already emphasized that the “extra” approach to life does require more, not just in terms of being our true, authentic, and wonderful selves, but also in what we do and how much of it we do.

There are several key areas where extra+ can cultivate the conditions that will inspire, motivate, and maximize the best of us. In addition to my suggestions, there may be others you find important or recommend, too. That’s fantastic – this conversation is all

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about achieving the best balance of what will contribute to your continuous growth and success. Remember, over time, that recipe may change and need updates. Commit to keeping in tune with what extra supports are beneficial for your journey.

EXTRA|EFFORT: Being extra is work. But truly establishing yourself in the right place and position to excel and move closer toward your dreams requires extra effort. That means never settling for just doing the bare minimum. It challenges us to avoid the ordinary and instead, commit to the relentless pursuit of excellence.

If the job or project requires research, how can you put in the research and preparation to ensure that the end result is something that will reflect your extras in all their glory? A long-time friend of mine has served as a principal in a Title 1 school for nearly three decades. Recently, I called her after six pm, not surprised to find her still at the school office. When I inquired what she was doing, she shared she was hand signing each child’s report card, providing them with a unique and specialized note of encouragement.

“Some of these children will not receive that at home. I want them to know someone cared enough to review their effort and provide meaningful recognition and feedback.” One of her countless extras is her ability to go that extra mile in making sure children know they are cared for, seen, and applauded for their effort.

How many of us look back upon the encouraging words of our best teachers or mentors? When have our days been made just a

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little bit better by someone complementing our hair or dropping a personalized thinking-of-you card in the mail?

Going above and beyond is the most essential ingredient in your individual path to achievement. We’ve invested time in embracing your extras and determining how they can benefit others. Putting in the effort to truly realize those extras by working harder only gives you more exposure to shine and others more opportunity to see those gifts in action, connecting them to their added value.

To be clear, I’m encouraging you to go that extra mile and go hard, with passion and enthusiasm, to create your best life. In balance, stay longer, do more than what’s expected, showcase what separates you from the competition. Because we’ve already considered how to make certain our extras connect us to our true personal and professional purpose, the extra effort should be bringing us closer to our joy and goals, not further away.

EXTRA|OPTIMISM: We often allow life to stop us from dreaming big, over time.

Those of us who continue to dream with abandon beyond the acceptable norm of when the world prioritizes realism over perceived fantasy are often cautioned about the limitations of doing so. But what if we cling to that a idea as acceptable practice? What if, emboldened by the power of our extras, we dared to continue allowing ourselves to defy expectations of ordinary in every aspect of our lives, past, present, and future? What might be the outcome of committing to the idea that everything will actually not just be

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okay, it will actually exceed our idea of wonderful and introduce us to even better possibilities? I propose that outcome will guide and ignite your ability to leverage your extras to their fullest. I recommend that you allow yourself the freedom of dreaming with reckless abandon and a security and confidence that you and your extras are capable of achieving extraordinary in life and work.

EXTRA|ATTENTION: The ability to achieve at our highest levels can often come down to the details. Have we paid attention to those aspects of a project, a proposal, an innovation, a solution to such a degree that we impress upon others with whom we are sharing how comprehensive, thorough, and intentional we are? Our extras give us the fuel, but the car we fuel up in, that’s up to us. Whether it’s inserting a quote from the client’s CEO into your pitch or wearing the company colors when you go to present, attention to every detail allows your extras to shine even brighter.

EXTRA|ENERGY: The very nature of embracing your extras evokes a higher level of energy. There’s an electricity associated with that confidence and clarity of knowing who you are, being confident in how good you are, and moving forward in the direction of where you have determined those extras will lead you. Fuel that energy by surrounding yourself with people who also embrace your extras, who understand the value of those extras, and who motivate you.

Do the things that foster it for yourself, whether that’s attending a

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conference, waking up early to attend a hot yoga class, or spending time with your children. Commit to leveraging the value of the positive energy that accompanies your extra approach to life. It will power your pathway and propel your extras into the success zone.

EXTRA|TIME: We’re always in a hurry and we are most impatient with ourselves. There is a sense of urgency associated with knowing what you are great out and identifying your purpose. “Okay, world,” we proudly declare. “I’m extraordinary. Here I come!” Yes, that’s the mantra I want you to adopt, but no, that doesn’t mean it’s all going to fall into place tomorrow. There is no universal timetable on the success of your extras synergizing with the opportunities and environmental conditions that you are presented with. But every day, if you afford yourself the grace and patience to recognize it, you can move forward.

It’s not how big each step toward realizing your purpose by applying your extras, but how consistent and intentional you are in taking and ordering those steps. So, give yourself some grace. Each day, dedicate the time you can toward actualizing and developing your extras toward your purpose. But don’t create a timeline dictated by a world that doesn’t know your extra refinement and purpose driven journey toward an extraordinary life. It’s coming and you are further along that you give yourself credit for, I can assure that.

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EXTRA|COMPASSION: In addition to granting ourselves grace, it’s important that we offer compassion to those around us. Their journey toward an extraordinary life is different than ours, often inclusive of challenges about which we know little. By extolling extra compassion to our peers, our family, our community, we are creating a more inclusive space for our extras to grow and thrive. We become a beacon of hope to others as we model the way.

EXTRA|INNOVATION: Not only might we not be ready for our extra actualization, but others around us – from clients to companies to family members – may not be in the same space of readiness as we are for something new, different, unchartered. Many of us have extras that are truly ahead of their time. But extra innovation invites those who are brave enough to think outside of the box and do things in new and different ways to sharpen our extra of ingenuity. By focusing on new ways to add value to our business and industry sector or community through deployment of our extras, we can establish even more of an edge. Our extras give us the chance to do things differently than they have ever been done before and it’s up to us to consider new and innovative ways to apply them.

EXTRA|GRATITUDE: There are likely many times you may have wished to be just like everyone else or considered that an ordinary life would simply be easier. But your extras are gifts and the ability to live with them

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in gratitude and appreciation exults that blessing even further. By embracing them as individual traits that truly set you apart from others and acknowledging that you have a duty and responsibility to share them in meaningful ways, you are expressing a layer of gratitude that will also add to the glow of what makes you so special.

Being extra generous and gracious about your extraordinary journey extends the shine and glow of you in all your individual beauty and success. Start the day, add to the day, end the day, whatever it takes, to express your gratitude for being exactly who you are and for being insightful enough to understand the gravity of those extras.

A Guide by Dr. Jennifer Blalock

festival, I’m happiest when I’m living my real, authentic extra life.

It doesn’t match everyone else’s idea of fun or adventure, but it does mine. When I approach my work and relationships that way, I’m also in a greater sense of harmony with myself. I can breathe and thrive under the light of true transparency and self-synergy.

Be you. Please. It will only afford you the opportunity to further incorporate the best of your extras in every aspect of your life.

EXTRA|OPPORTUNITY: I have never heard anyone say, “I took advantage of too many opportunities.” Think about it. You likely haven’t either. By showing up, staying open, and being ready for the opportunities to grow, share, and develop your extras, you’re always in go-mode. When opportunities present themselves, even if you aren’t sure you’re ready, consider walking through the door. When opportunities don’t present themselves, find a way. Ask questions. Exhibit an insatiable curiosity for new ways to discover how you can be the best version of you, extras engaged at full capacity.

EXTRA|BOLD: You likely won’t be surprised to know this, but I’m at my best when I’m being true to myself. Whether that’s bold yellow shoes, riding twenty miles on my bike, or planning a solo trip to a film

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EXTRA INSPIRATION SPOTLIGHT

MEET

After graduating from college in a pandemic, Bailey’s post-grad plans were impacted and her professional future uncertain. Registering for an online internship program, Inside Sales, sponsored by the Major League Baseball Association, afforded Bailey the opportunity to let her extra shine. By the conclusion of the program, Bailey had job offers from several teams.

She now is a full-time Account Executive for the New York Mets. “If I hadn’t let my extra shine, I’d still be scrambling to find my professional home. Taking advantage of this extra opportunity and being extra bold made all the difference in landing my first real career opportunity.”

BAILEY BLALOCK

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CHAPTER

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08

Elevate Extra A life lived with a focus on the extra will naturally create a higher level of positive energy. Yes, there may be more work and effort involved than those who are satisfied with the ordinary are extending. That’s to be expected. Excellence requires effort. Output reflects input. You are guaranteeing positive outcomes through your extra elevation.

As you continue the journey, you’ve got to maintain a high level of self-awareness. Your “extra” will evolve. It will expand. It must do all of those things to elevate and contribute to your competitive edge and individual value proposition.

How will you elevate your extra? Break down your extra elevation into these key areas:

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1. Education: A college degree isn’t the only option for your continued development of your “extras.” Thanks to opensource materials, business associations, conferences, and more, there are opportunities to develop your knowledge base everywhere.

Consider an online credential. Though I completed a doctorate for which I’ll be eternally grateful, I found myself feeling a bit stale. I was building learning, development, and training for others, but I had reached a point of not challenging and investing in my own education. I enrolled in Arizona State University’s Executive Education program to complete their online Certified Public Manager program. It spoke to my evolving interest outside of my normal extra space, which was higher education, into my emerging extra area of expertise, municipal government. I can honestly tell you, from the weekly modules to the simulation where I was a power-hungry mayor avoiding an overthrow, it was one of the best investments of my time, funds, and energy. It reinvigorated my extra and I was even selected as Class Speaker.

Expand your network: Seek out new mentors. Join and actively participate in a business or professional network or association that offers continuous development and training in areas that support your extras.

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2. Experience: We are never too old or too advanced to start learning and refining our extras all over again. This includes trying new things and embracing new roles we may have never considered. With the rapid pace of technology and rate of change in the world of work, old career titles are evaporating, and new ones are being introduced daily.

Challenge the idea that you must have a certain title for your next role or achievement or that your progression must be linear and progressive according to traditional career or life expectations.

Go back to the beginning: Why not be a 48-year-old intern at the company whose mission statement aligns with your personal statement of purpose? Who knows where the new road will take you or how it will benefit your extra elevation.

Redefine your expectations: Date someone who doesn’t fit your “normal” but does reflect and contribute to the light of your extra.

3. Expansion: Keep building on your extra! Maybe you’ve revealed and discovered some new extras or ways your extra can contribute to your community at work or at home.

Introduce your new efforts and expertise in new ways to engage with others.

Build it and they will come: Open a new location. Start offering your services online or in innovative formats.

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Train for the next chapter: Change is the only constant.

Make sure you are ready for the next chapter of your extra, whether that’s through attending workshops, finding a new mentor, or putting in the extra time to master new concepts and integrate them into your extras.

4. Emerging: You don’t have to commit to every iteration of your extra. You are a dynamic, evolving, and emerging bundle of wonderful. Dip your toe in, test the waters, but you don’t have to dive in the deep end straight away.

Try it out: You may not love vlogging, at first, but testing the waters to see how it feeds your personal and professional extras for a trial run might be just enough to help you realize it is or isn’t the best thing for your extra right now.

Stay Open: New isn’t always better, but it isn’t always bad, either. By keeping your extra open to new ideas, you’ll always approach things from an asset-based focus and be keen to how the emerging changes can benefit your extra at work or at play.

5. Exploration:

Take a trip. Study abroad. Visit an organization. Volunteer. Try something new you haven’t before that aligns with your personal purpose statement.

Ask Questions: Approach new opportunities and different options with an inquisitive curiosity.

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Consider Pros & Cons: Not everything is right for your extra, but perhaps elements of a new technique can be customized to help elevate your workstyle or life approach.

6. Eliminate: Eliminate aspects of your work and personal life that aren’t contributing to your extra anymore. If you want to keep them around, find ways to introduce what you need, establish those boundaries, and exemplify what your expectations are.

Establish Clear Boundaries: Maybe you love them but you don’t like them all the time. Limit interactions with family and friends who bring you down and focus on the areas of symmetry when you are together to avoid negative energy that doesn’t add to your extra.

Expectations: Examine your expectations for others and for yourself. Have you communicated them? Have you asked for what you want? Do you know what you want?

These are just a few recommendations to aid in your continued elevation of your extraordinary life. While we may have reached the end of our time together, that doesn’t mean our shared journey is over. Remember, you have an obligation to embrace your extras and to live an extraordinary life. You didn’t wake up to be ordinary today and neither did I.

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By following and committing to these steps on a daily basis, you’ll invariably be benefitting your personal journey, my journey and the journey of others in your immediate circle who consciously gravitate toward the extraordinary.

Embrace Your Extra: Identify, define, and collect evidence of what makes you different than anyone else.

Eliminate Extra Obstacles: Acknowledge what’s holding you back and persevere in spirt of those buts in the way!

Own Your Extra: Passionately believe in the value of those talents and gifts.

Activate Your Extra: Make a case for why you do those things better than or in a way that adds value to others.

Engage Your Extra: Connect your extra strategically to make a difference in your world.

Elevate Your Extra: Articulate convincingly to yourself these statements with enthusiasm, clarity, and confidence. Wake up each day, ready for living extra in theory and application.

The next time someone accuses you of being “extra”, be sure to thank them for the endorsement and affirm that yes, you are.

You live a life filled with bold decisions, unique perspectives, and unlimited gifts. Why wouldn’t everyone want to be extra?

Thanks for allowing me to share my extra with you and I can’t wait for you to share and live your extra! Remember, extra+ordinary=extraordinary. That’s the destination for this day and every day. I’ll see you there!

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A Guide by Dr. Jennifer Blalock

EXTRA INSPIRATION SPOTLIGHT “It just sort of happened. Over time, I started to appreciate I didn’t want to be like everyone else. I was happier being the fullest version of myself. All the things that made me different, they made me better. I realized, with every professional position and personal advancement, that I was called to be the best version of myself. And that energy was contagious. It helped me guide others in embracing their extra. It’s truly what I love to do. I didn’t wake up to be ordinary. And neither did you!”

A FINAL WORD FROM

LIVE EXTRA

DR. BLALOCK

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BONUS CHAPTER/PROLOGUE

The “Extra” Approach to Parenting

While this book is primarily focused on applying the principle of living an “extra” life to your professional and personal pathway, I’d be remiss if I didn’t dedicate at least one chapter of this narrative to what has been the most exciting aspects of my own journey and what will likely be a separate stand-alone book in the future.

“Mom, you’re so extra.” My daughter Bailey has told me that countless times throughout her over two decades of being my only biological offspring. She’s uttered it when I walked over to her alienated third grade classmate who was more interested in anime than friends and sat solo at lunch time to see if he wanted to join our table.

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She thought it and shared it with an unmistakable look when I asked the drive thru attendant if she was in college and what her career dream was. She spoke it loudly when I adorned my eyes with bright yellow eyeliner and glitter in preparation for her 21st birthday. “Mom, you’re SOOOO extra!” Yes, dear daughter, I am.

By all means, that push of the envelope of ordinary has often benefitted Bailey and she knows it. As a child with learning differences, once labeled by a psychometrist as “the most learningdisabled child I have ever tested” (Who says that?), she was saddled with a lot of externally imposed doubt and pessimistic predictions for her future. An ordinary parent might have succumbed to those unnecessary limitations from “experts” whose advice should have meant something, right?

Something in me, often inspired by the whole lot of extra Bailey exhibited in other unique and special ways, knew those predictions were faulty and that dedicating those extras would make a difference. My extra went a long way in helping inspire my daughter’s success. Ultimately, by investing in her extra, even in the face of areas of challenge or perceived “less than” by others, I was able to contribute to a pathway that resulted in her being an extraordinary talent in so many ways. Our parenting often demands us to be extra – extra advocates, extra caring, extra resourceful, extra loving. In my next book, I’ll share about being extra in the face of parenting adversity to help inspire other parents of children with limiting labels to overcome them by focusing on the extra.

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EMBRACE EXTRA ENGAGEMENT GROUP

Discussion Questions

Q. “Extra” often means doing more than others and can sometimes cause those committed to living our extra to get tired, exhausted, or lose motivation? What are some tips and ideas to help keep our extra engaged?

Q. How do you attract and develop relationships with others who have a similar commitment to living an extraordinary life?

Q. How have you identified which extra to get started with?

Living your extraordinary life doesn’t have to be a solo journey! Consider creating a book group to discuss the topics included in this book and hosting meet-ups to discuss the ideas presented by Dr. Blalock.

Q. What are some examples of extras you’ve embraced and how are you activating and engaging those extras in your everyday life?

Here are some sample questions to help guide your groups. Happy “Extra” Engagements!

LIVE EXTRA!

Q. Being extra is sometimes looked down upon or can create jealousy by colleagues and others who haven’t yet embraced and engaged their extra. How can you be “extra” in a way that inspires others and overcome any “extra” buts resulting from others who don’t approach life and work in the same way?

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_______________________________________________

www.injenuity413.com Join the online Extra engagement on Facebook, LinkedIn, YouTube, and Instagram!

IG: @jb1373 FB: /jblalock13 LinkedIn: linkedin.com/jenniferb13 Youtube: Dr. Jennifer Blalock

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