At Holme Issue 4 - May 2022

ATHolme

Issue Four | May 2022

AT HOLME

FROM THE PRINCIPAL’S PEN: Abled or Enabled?

‘In the therapeutic world, an enabler is someone who habitually allows a family member or close friend to make choices that can result in harm.’ (Kirby, 2022) Recently, I sat and listened to Australian of the Year, Dylan Alcott, share a little of his life narrative. As always, I am entranced by someone else’s story, particularly when it challenges me to think differently about my own perceptions.

The following day, I began reading one of my Mother’s Day gifts: Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown. Alcott and Brown are textually different, but their threads share a similar quality when we ponder the ways in which parenting can enable or ‘able’ our children. Brown recounts her own complex childhood where uncertainty about parental reaction and response left her hypervigilant. By default, her parents abled her survival and resilience capabilities, but the process left her acutely anxious. Alcott, conversely, was parented to be able, despite a disability. It’s all about the ‘en’, or its absence.

One of Alcott’s opening stories was from his childhood, sharing Saturday morning television with his brother, Zack. Whoever held the television remote had the power: a scenario with which we can all identify. Zack learned quickly that if he needed to go to the bathroom during a television binge, then he needed to take the remote control with him.

He knew that by placing it on top of the fridge, it was safe from Dylan’s grasp. At this point in the story telling, Dylan turned to the audience and asked, Was this a good thing or a bad thing? Hands shot up – there was disparate mumbling – some were saying yes, others definitively no. He asked an audience member was it good or bad?

Our role is to allow our children to also mould the clay, to endure the breakages, and to learn that for every action, there is a consequence and an opportunity to learn.

The answer – ‘It was good because your brother treated you as an equal.’ Alcott agreed. ‘It was good because it would have been so easy for my parents to give me everything, to erase any struggle, to smooth my way. To make Zack give me the television remote, every time. But they didn’t – and for that I am so grateful.’ Their actions led to Alcott’s abled view of the world.

I love this example – it speaks eloquently to me as a parent and it questions the line between enabling and ‘abling’ and the destructive influence of the ‘en’. Because I, too, am guilty of lapses of smoothing the way for my children – of metaphorically handing them the television remote when they seek it out. Inadvertently, disabling, disempowering, and immobilising. Too easily, we forget that it is through difficulty that we find both ourselves and our determination to do things differently.

It is in the deep pit of struggle that we plot our means of escape, we solve problems, and we ‘able’ ourselves to become our own person.

Parents instinctively want to protect their child, to advocate their position and to rescue them from disappointment. Too often, in the

AT HOLME FROM THE PRINCIPAL’S PEN Continued...

interests of peace and family harmony, misguided kindness – or self-preservation, we find ourselves providing instant gratification to our children (Kirby, 2022) – irrespective of their age.

Psychologists have long recognised that distress often promotes maturation. We grow from feeling the sting of a mistake. We learn from losing, missing out and waiting our turn.

Weathering setbacks, with support from the people who love us, helps us learn to manage disappointment. Psychologist Holly Schiffrin writes in the Journal of Child and Family Studies that parents who over-help, who enable their children to have a life without stress, steal their children’s ability to make decisions and thus ensure that their children are ill-prepared for life as adults.

abuse.

‘Like exercise and sleep, it is good for virtually everything,’ neuropsychologist William Stixrud and educator Ned Johnson write in their book, The Self-Driven Child.

The fundamental paradox of parenting, though, is that we are responsible for our children and yet we cannot possibly be responsible for them.

A wise practitioner puts it this way, ‘Children are clay in your hands, and they are also the rocks that break your hands.’ Our role is to allow our children to also mould the clay, to endure the breakages, and to learn that for every action, there is a consequence and an opportunity to learn.

Autonomy has profound benefit for kids of all ages. Studies link autonomy to long-term motivation, independence, confidence, and better executive function.

Let us not cause harm as enablers, even when we have the noblest of intentions. Let our children be able – able to manage each and every TV remote battle for themselves.

As a child gets older, autonomy is associated with better performance in school and a decreased risk of drug and alcohol

Dr Linda Evans | Principal

REFERENCES Castelino, L. (2016). Behind Every Entitled Kid Is an Enabling Parent. ‘The Huffington Post.’ Retrieved 15 May 2022 from https://www.huffpost.com/archive/ca/entry/ entitled-kids_b_10003404 Damour, L. (2019). Drawing the Line Between Helping and Helicoptering. ‘The New York Times.’ Retrieved 15 May 2022 from https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/28/ well/family/helicopter-parents-teenagers.html Doucleff, M. (2022). A 4-year-old can run errands alone ... and not just on reality TV. ‘Goats and Soda: stories of life in a changing world.’ Retrieved 15 May 2022 from https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2022/04/20/1093153651/a-4-year-old-can-run-errands-alone-and-not-just-on-reality-tv Heath, C. (1999). ‘On the Social Psychology of Agency Relationships: Lay Theories of Motivation Overemphasize Extrinsic Incentives.’ Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes Vol. 78, No. 1, April, pp. 25–62, 1999.

Kirby, S. (2022). How to Stop Enabling Grown Children and Why It’s Important. Retrieved 15 May 2022 from https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/family/how-tostop-enabling-grown-children-and-why-its-important/ Winter, J. (2022). The Harsh Realm of Gentle Parenting.

‘The New Yorker.’ March 23. 2022. Retrieved 15 May 2022 from https://www.newyorker.com/books/under-review/the-harsh-realm-of-gentle-parenting

AT HOLME

10 Minutes with Holly Souter

Holly Souter was destined to become a weightlifter, witnessing her mother’s strength in the gym from an early age. We caught up with 13-year-old Holly to learn more about her latest achievements and motivations...

How did you get into the sport of weightlifting?

I have always been around the sport since I was born, as my mum is a competitive lifter and used to take me to the gym along with a porta cot.

Snatches and Clean and Jerks are the only lifts that we do in competition. The other exercises are all a part of training sessions, along with a number of others.

What are your goals for 2022?

Tell us about your latest achievements?

I recently competed at the State Under 15 Youth Championships held at Nambour, where I placed 3rd in U/15 and 4th in Youth. I also achieved three new competition PBs. Earlier in the year I qualified for the U/15 and Youth National championships. These were meant to be held in Perth, but due to COVID-19 restrictions it is now an online competition.

This means that I will travel to Brisbane with other Queensland lifters to compete.

What sort of training do you have to do to achieve these sorts of results?

My coach currently writes me a three day a week program and each session last about 2 hours.

I add extra training on three alternate days before school.

(I still participate in school sporting teams on the side.)

Is there a particular weightlifting discipline that you like the most?

My goals for weightlifting for the upcoming Nationals are to Snatch 47kg and to Clean and Jerk 53kg with total of 100kg plus. For my long-term goals, they consist of qualifying for the Junior World Championships and to be chosen to represent Australia at the Commonwealth and Olympic Games.

Do you have any rituals that you stick to before a competition?

Some of my rituals I have the night before a competition are: I clean my lifting shoes and I wash my wrist wraps. I also pack my competition bag with a packet of good old snake lollies!

One last ritual is, I visualise all my lifts and go to bed very early.

Who inspires you?

Not only does my mum inspire me, but Tori Gallegos who trains at our club has been a great inspiration. She has come such a long way and recently competed at the Junior World Championships in Greece.

AT HOLME

2022 Cross Country

Great participation, as usual, by all of our girls, with a Championship event plus a Standard event offered that allows girls to participate at a level of their own fitness. There were great performances from runners in the Championship events who were looking at selection in our Fairholme Cross Country team; many then

went on to participation at other qualifying events at St Aidan’s, St Hilda’s, Queensland All Schools Cross Country and most recently, TSSS/ DD Championships. The shortened course of the Standard event was also very competitive, an attribute that you cannot take away from a Fairholme girl. Head of Sport, Tony Tregaskis

Overall House Points

Black House 1714 points Powell House 1599 points Cameron House 1590 points Stephens House 1374 Points Boarders 1964 points Day Girls 759 points 12 Years Addison Attrill (Black) Felicity Taylor (Cameron) Mia Hall (Cameron) 13 Years Abi Barnes (Cameron) Georgia Brassington (Powell) Imogen Allen (Black) 14 Years Evie Armstrong (Black) Julia Wainwright (Cameron) Rose Ramia (Black) 15 Years Chelsea Gladwin (Cameron) Mackenzi Schefe (Stephens) Ayesha Saleh (Black) 16 Years Laura Patterson (Powell) Amelia Ramia (Black) Lilli Biernoff (Black) Under 20 Years Bronte Lane (Black) Charlotte Patterson (Powell) Abby Taylor (Black)

AT HOLME

FACETS art exhibition

With record-breaking crowds and art sales, Facets: An Art Exhibition at Fairholme 2022 was a resounding success. Thank you to our artists, curators Sandy Pottinger and Sue Lostroh, Head of the Arts Karen Hayward and our wonderful community of parents and friends for creating another beautiful, boutique exhibition.

Across the weekend, Facets had it all: a Sponsors Evening, Opening Night, Artists in Conversation breakfast, a live portrait of Mayor Paul Antonio, a SOFA Cafe and a Curators’ Walk and Talk.

West Star Motors, Snow Real Estate, M3 Architects, University of Southern Queensland, Fairholme P&F, FOGA and SOFA, Rowes Furniture and Home Staging by Gil Chesterfield.

Thank you to our very generous sponsors Murdoch Lawyers, Hutchinsons Builders, Mort & Co, Spencer Financial Group,

We are so proud of the exhibition the Facets’ team staged across the weekend and it has certainly been one to remember!

AT HOLME

AT HOLME

FROM A PASSION to a career pathway Exploration into the world of animation and gaming has begun for three Year 10 students through one of the new Pathway Programs offered in 2022 Students have begun their study toward a Certificate II in Creative Industries (3D Animation Foundations) through the Academy of Interactive Entertainment, introducing them to the career opportunities for 3D artists, animators and designers, as well as an understanding of the creative potential of the 3D animation software used in the games, film and visual effect industry.

It involves the practical exploration, innovation and development of animated screen production, and is an exciting addition to the Pathways Program at Fairholme.

Co-ordinator of Learning Pathways at Fairholme, Arlie Hollindale, said the College’s unique Pathway Program allows students to explore learning outside the traditional curriculum, often outside the classroom, whilst contributing toward their ATAR and QCE. ‘These programs can enhance students tertiary entrance avenues, develop into post-school study options and build the

necessary employability skill-sets to enter industry directly after Year 12, or beforehand,’ Ms Hollindale said.

‘3D Animation is a wonderful asset to our Pathway Programs, which already cover vast areas of study including a mature and enhanced Health and Allied Health program, as well as study in Dentistry, Medical Administration, Aviation, Fitness, Project Management and Business, Early Education and School-based Education Support, Dance, Music, Justice Studies, Hospitality, Agriculture, Dentistry, Medical Administration, Beauty, Veterinary Nursing and Electro-technology.’

She said there are also students gaining their Recreational Pilot License and studying units at a tertiary-level, giving credit toward their university program of choice.

‘Being ahead of their Year 12 counterparts, when leaving Fairholme College, creates opportunity and we are committed to pursuing this advantage for our girls.’

AT HOLME

Shooting for the stars

For Year 11 student, Caitlin Gray, pistol shooting has been a passion since she was 12 years old.

Today, she is shooting for the stars after representing the State in the National Junior Championships Fairholme student, Caitlin Gray’s year as a pistol shooter has started with a bang.

The Year 11 student recently represented Queensland at the ISSF National Junior Championships in Melbourne, where she placed in the top 10 in three different matches.

‘The experience was fantastic. It’s motivated me to keep working hard at my training, as I really want to make the Queensland team again next year and compete at Nationals in Darwin,’ Caitlin said.

At the age of 12, Caitlin started taking part in shooting competitions and credits her family with being highly supportive and encouraging her to participate in the sport.

‘It’s a rare sport where men, women, and children (over the age of 12) can all compete together in the same matches on an equal footing, so for me it’s a real family affair.’

The 16-year old says her coach, a former Olympian, Dina Aspandiyarova, is her biggest inspiration.

‘She understands the nerves of competing and has had years of experience. Dina is always shedding new light on innovative training ideas, which helps me stay committed.’

Despite her calm exterior and previous competition experience, Caitlin says that it is natural for her to still feel nervous during the shoot.

‘I just take a couple of minutes to slow myself down during a match. In

pistol shooting you need to remain calm and have a steady arm, so just taking a few minutes to take some deep breaths always help me feel comfortable.’

When you think of pre-match rituals for a shooter, you’d imagine matching socks but apparently, it’s the humble old banana that helps Caitlin to hold a steady hand.

‘Like many shooters, I have recently adopted eating a banana before matches as my ritual, as it can help reduce mental fatigue.’

AT HOLME

Boarders at emu gully

Muddy in mapleton

AT HOLME

By the looks of these photos, the Year 7 Camp was a messy yet very fun time! Around 85 girls enjoyed three days at Mapleton where they engaged in team-building activities and lots of laughter...

AT HOLME

Shavefor a Cure

The Assembly Hall was full of mixed emotions and heart-warming scenes last week as 50 Year 12 girls made a commitment to creating a cancer-free future. The girls raised over $70,000 - an incredible feat in raising awareness and money for the Leukaemia Foundation’s World’s Greatest Shave. Well done, girls, we are so proud of you all!

AT HOLME

Put this in your diary! This year’s Spring Fair is on Saturday October 22, 2022. Spring Fair sponsorship opportunities not only affords excellent exposure for your business, but a great financial benefit to the school’s P&F Association - funds raised go directly back into our girls’ education and facilities.

If you would like to take advantage of one of our sponsorship packages, contact or Spring Fair Sponsorship Co Ordinator Pam Brown at springfair@fairholme.qld.edu.au

AT HOLME

SUCCESS at Eisteddfod Great news from the Toowoomba Eisteddfod Choral program!

At the recent highly competitive Secondary School Vocal Ensemble section of the 2022 Toowoomba Eisteddfod, the Fairholme College Chamber Choir was awarded a Highly Commended, the College Choir was awarded Third Place in the Secondary School Choir section, and the Senior Voices were awarded yet another First Place in the Secondary School Modern Voices section, which resulted in Fairholme being presented with The Glennie School Trophy.

Meanwhile, the Fairholme College Middle

Voices were awarded Second Place in both their Middle School Vocal Ensemble and Middle School Choir sections!

The Chamber Choir were awarded Second Place for their folk song and the Senior Voices Choir were awarded First Place for both the Hymn and Spiritual sections, which meant that they were awarded the Philharmonic Aggregate Shield.

Head of the Arts, Mrs Karen Hayward, was thrilled with the results. ‘It was a massive weekend for all involved and I wish to particularly acknowledge Alex Dixon, Elizabeth Egan, Christine Lebsanft and Natalie Rawle who have guided, prepared and supported our choirs over many months to achieve such wonderful results,’ Mrs Hayward said.

‘Thank you also to all of the additional staff who attended the Eisteddfod and provided supervision and greatly appreciated support.’

Upcomingevents Kindy & Prep Kid for a Morning 3 June

Term 2 Concludes

16 June

Interhouse Athletics Carnival

10 June

Year 11 Retreat

11 July

College Photo Day

15 June

Term 3 Commences

12 July

Year 8 Mother Daughter Bfast 16 June

Founders’ Day Celebrations

15 July

Subjects Selection Program

Fairholme Father’s Dinner

22 July

16 June

Podcast

Have you listened to Fairholme’s Podcast, ‘At Holme’? it’s a great listen where we share inspiring conversations from within and beyond the school grounds, with host Kathryn Doyle. In our latest podcast, we sit down with Head Boarder, Charlotte Patterson, where she gives us her insight into life as a Boarder. Click here to listen: https://www.fairholme.qld.edu.au/fairholme-podcasts FAIRHOLME COLLEGE | Wirra Wirra Street Toowoomba | (07) 4688 4688 | communications@fairholme.qld.edu.au