Some Suggestions on Storywriting

“What we are communicates more eloquently than anything we say or do.”

~ Stephen R Covey

A job applicant was told to complete a form. One question in it read: "Length at residence?" He wrote: "About 30 feet." He =igured that the question was on dimensions, because meanings are found less in words, but more in person, and the way they interpret those words. After all, words are only the attire that thoughts wear, and, if that is the case, then thoughts de=ine who we are.

By: Ignatius Fernandez

More often than not, good thoughts spring from good people, like a good tree yielding good fruit. Likewise, not-so-good thoughts =ind their source in not-sogood people, like a bad tree yielding bad fruit. When such good or bad thoughts (which always precede words) are expressed, we attempt to communicate.

But, is our communication effective?

The answer to that question depends on the response we get. A kind person may forgive an unkind thought, but an unkind person may retaliate. A kind person may not ascribe motives to the words, but the unkind person will see shadows where none exist. An understanding person will give the bene=it of the doubt to the one who is communicating.

Essentially, communication at its core, is about understanding and being understood. To make that possible, the communicator would do well to remember to be honest, clear, and simple – to express and not to impress. When the three elements unite, effective communication is easier to understand. No wonder Somerset Maugham wrote: “To write simply is as dif=icult as being good”.

Let’s look at some ways we can become better communicators, whether in writing or in speech:

First:

Be simple. When communicating a speci=ic point or thought, try to use simple words that clothe honest thoughts, ones most readers will understand. Skip the big sounding, but often obscure, words. Draft and redraft until your words will make sense to all readers.

Why do spouses divorce, families fall apart, children leave home, friends break bonds, employees become spiteful, and countries go to war? Most often, there are grave misunderstandings in such fractured relationships. There is a wide gap between what was intended and what was understood. Communication and relationships are inseparably bonded. If only we came to terms with that implication, we would have a new world!

But, sadly, we are so trapped in the rules of grammar, guidelines for sentence construction, correct idioms, and other facets of the language, we seldom think of the feelings behind those words.

Some experts compare communication to an iceberg. The smaller, visible part represents skills – diction, phonetics, word carpentry, and the rest. The larger, hidden part is the person – beliefs, values, and feelings. Skills are important, but not as important as understanding the person or the group to whom the message is directed. Is there scope for empathy?

When we go beyond the words and imbue those thoughts with feelings, we understand and unite with the process, then suppressed feelings are no longer caged but released and communication becomes free. The reward for such selfdisclosure is what is referred to as Peak communication – something that is not normally achieved often, because we are imperfect.

Step aside from the religious denotation for a moment, and simply read the words of Jesus. He viewed and communicated to each person he encountered with love, compassion, and mercy.

Like him, when we empathize with the one communicating, we climb a few rungs on the ladder of expression. It is obvious that communication is rooted in openness and responsiveness. Deep reverence for each other leads to uninhibited exchange of thoughts –when tactful honesty displaces careless bluntness. So how we say or write is as important as what we say or write.

Second:

Probe the feelings of the characters in your plot. They are =lesh and blood. From those feelings, tap into the purpose and meaning of their actions to lend your story a human and pulsating edge. The villains in the plot do not only have bad thoughts and feelings. Bundled into those negative thoughts and feelings are a few good ones. They are human and have the potential to be good people. It is the mix that makes a lasting impression.

Third:

Even as your characters spout words, their bodies speak. Try to link body language with dialogue to enhance impact. In life, good communicators read the body language of the speaker to add meaning to his or her words. A nod adds to the power of a “Yes”. A shake of the head reinforces our “No". The way a person moves their shoulders speak, body language

Great speakers know that body language will enhance our skills, and writers should learn how to use this to allow us to create deeper characters in our writing. Some characters are more pronounced in their body language. Others are subdued with their bodies. Bring out the play of such body movements to paint vivid pictures of your characters. Some characters, over years, develop mannerisms that are like trademarks. Flash them in key moments of the plot. Readers will be enthralled.

Fourth:

Use role-reversal. In life, when we step out of our shoes and step into the other person’s, we can better see their point of view, we may sense the fears that keep him down, exorcize the demons of insecurities that haunt, and gently, but surely, show that put-on behavior is unnecessary. In role reversal we do not disarm a person or character, but allow the ability to express without fear.

So try not to be detached from your characters as you give them roles in your story. Instead, step into their shoes. Try to think like them. Speak like them. Behave like them. The transformation in your portrayal of people in your story can be amazing.

Ultimately, communication is the sharing of thoughts and feelings, and their interpretations, to achieve a purpose and build relationships. The ear, eye, heart, head, and hand must act in concert: the ear to listen patiently, the eye to read diligently, the heart to empathize, the head to sift fact from =iction, and the hand to reach out.

More easily said than done, but worth attempting! Story writing is the creation of a surreal world into which your reader enters and is hesitant to leave.

** ***With Ebbe and Emme trying to enter where the Laws are located, and Donal and the Guardian having discovered that Yana may know more and be doing more than anyone knows, her journey to become the Leveler continues, amidst ongoing attacks and pain.***

“So Emme’s holding the location of the Laws, but it’s =lickering. The Guardian and the tall guy,” “Donal,” Yana said, not pausing in gathering together what was needed for tomorrow, the beginning of the work days.

“Yeah, him, they’re in your…” Kit paused, head tilted, listening, “...=ine yours and his library. Apparently you’ve been adding stuff lately...”

“I probably have,” Yana admitted.

“What? How? And why didn’t you say anything?” Kit asked. Glancing to her right, where the Guardian’s... shadow... stood, speaking to her.

“I can’t see or hear anything, so how am I supposed to know if it’s real? And besides, it was just a bunch of thoughts, random ones I put together, like a game board until they made sense, and I kind of –” Yana made a =licking motion with her =ingers. “When I get ideas or thoughts, my hands tingle or get heavy, and I discovered that doing that makes it go away. It’s distracting to have weight or tingles in my hands, especially if I have to get work done, or try to sleep, or go shopping, drive...”

“Instinctively knowing where to send them, but not consciously knowing,” the Guardian’s shadow murmured. Kit repeated it to Yana.

“Well, yeah, I guess so, but... is that something wrong?” Yana asked.

“It is not wrong, it’s just simply not done. What you mean to do, your intention, has little to do with anything in the Hereafter. You must have knowledge, an elemental shelf, learn the sigils, and be at the correct god level,” the Guardian’s shadow explained, with Kit having to repeat.

Having to wait for Kit to “hear and repeat” was driving Yana insane, but her inability to hear anyone in the Hereafter herself made it necessary, so she bit down a retort and sighed, “No, you don’t have to learn any of that. Intention is all that matters.”

“Incorrect.”

“No, you’re incorrect because intention is how it’s supposed to be. Yes, you need knowledge and understanding of elements and how they work, mixing them and such, but it’s not like you need to memorize a book of recipes, or carry everything on you at all times. I mean, really, look around,” she waved an arm absentmindedly, “elements are all around. Everything is made of elements. Everything. Why memorize anything? We’re literally made of elements, thoughts themselves are probably elements...” Yana paused, “let me rephrase, thought itself is an element. As are things like knowledge, light, all our emotions... anyway...

“Somewhere along the way, the Hereafter got all kinds of backwards. Somewhere, someone did something, and the way things were got lost and turned into the way things are,” Yana explained with a shrug. “And don’t have the next question be “How do you know?” because you ask that all the time and I keep telling you the same thing, and it’s not going to change. I just know.”

Kit paused. “Just me and my opinion, but you’d think by now they’d stop asking that because it always comes back that you were right and there was something hidden they didn’t know about, or, yeah...”

“What I =ind more irritating than always being questioned, is how unknowing the supposed allknowing Hereafter actually are,” Yana said.

“Oh, that hit a nerve,” Kit muttered through an almost closed mouth. “He does have a point, though.”

“Which is?”

“If just a simple fact, like the location of the Laws of Progression was hidden from everyone, wouldn’t it follow that they’re kinda =lying blind about a lot of other things too?” Kit said, not quite repeating it exactly how the shadow had said it, but close enough.

“Valid point,” Yana said, “and not untrue. That does explain a lot, but not everything.”

Turning to face empty space, according to what Yana saw, Kit continued, “By the way, I keep hearing a name, or title of someone, and I think you’re talking about Yana.” swear everything I’m hearing seems to have to do with you and what you... =lick or toss or whatever it is you do, which I know you don’t actually know...”

“Kit...”

“Oh, sorry, yeah. Leveler.” Kit said.

“What?”

“Leveler.”

“Like the tool used to keep housing and building angles straight?”

“Yes. Wait. No.”

“Which is it?” Yana asked, exasperated, slamming the last item needed for work onto the counter, a bit harder than needed.

Kit tilted her head, eyes closed and nodding. After a few clicks, she said, “Both is correct, because you are a tool...”

“Fabulous.”

“...but it’s also a really super important title,” Kit said ignoring Yana’s sarcasm, pausing again before continuing. “From before time was ticked and marked as time, there’s been a Prophecy about a Leveler, a being of unlimited power who will come forth and put everything straight.”

“Straight. As in the god and goddess of our planet don’t seem to know what I know, but when they search, they =ind I’m right?” Yana questioned. “Or the fact that what you do, you do without

“Because you are the Leveler, how you were created way back, at Essence, makes you able to do what you do...” Kit paused, “...do what is necessary.”

Yana rubbed her face, and massaged her head, trying to relieve the mounting internal pressure. “I am a nobody and no one. How in cold ochu could I possibly be... this?” she waved toward Kit, and where Kit had been looking during this whole conversation.

Kit sat next to her on the settee. “You have been hurt so many times, and even though you can’t see it, you can feel it. You feel the weight and tingles and pinches and thumps, the pain and wounds. That zing thing you talk about, in your head... you said you’ve always had that, and yet, you always just keep going. You never stop. Yeah, you say you have a job and responsibilities, but I’ve seen others crack, curl up, and cry for less than you get put through from one rise to another. I mean, maybe you don’t see it, but I do.” knowing how you’re doing it; you just know it’s right, and you just have the right thoughts about it, like what it needs to do...” Kit paused. “Yeah, he says that’s what he means by intention. Your Spirit had to have learned an awful lot...”

Dropping her head down, =ingers laced around her neck, Yana contemplated Kit’s words. Maybe they were the Guardian’s, or his shadow since he said he wasn’t exactly able to be here in person. Whatever. Leveler or not, what had been going on for several moon cycles now had become... overwhelming.

Taking a long inhale to clear her mind, Yana stood, walked over to the shades and yanked them open, glaring up at the moons. She took a step back, closed her eyes, and held her arms out to the sides, bent, ingers curved, as if about to extend claws.

“Uh, what are you doing?” Kit asked nervously. Clear as the mid-rise hour, she saw purest white sparks lowing from... nowhere... gathering and swirling around Yana’s form. Some were going through her, some around; some in circles, some in geometric patterns.

“But because Mortals don’t remember their Spirit life,” Yana continued.

“What you’re doing is what you studied and planned for as a Spirit and now you’re just doing it by instinct,” Kit =inished.

“It’s like I know what to do, but don’t know how, and it just... happens,” Yana =inished, the thought of the knowledge and responsibility rocked heavy on her body. All she could do was sit and stare at the =loor.

Stepping through the portal Yana had opened, with perfect precision... a normally functioning portal... the Guardian and Donal looked on in awe, and not a small amount of fear. Planet and moon elements, ones of the Hereafter, Ancient ones, merged and joined the dance around Yana. Sigils wrote themselves in the air around her, known colors, and many unknown ones, hidden planes and dimensions twisting through them, pulled from times and realities long forgotten, all expanding with every deep inhale she did.

Pulling her arms in close, Yana moved her hands in front of her, =ingers still bent. The elements, and more, began to coalesce, whirling in tighter formations, creating solid where there was once wispy.

The Guardian and Donal stared in wonderment, Donal with no small amount of admiration. “That’s my girl,” he whispered. “Do you recognize any of this?” At his nod, Donal smiled. “She’s pretty amazing, isn’t she?”

“Only you would not be terri=ied of her while the literal elements of massive destruction swirl around a Mortal who has no understanding of what she is commanding,” the Guardian said, his voice laced with dark humor, his visage never changing. Nor did his eyes miss one particle in the mass. He knew them all, or at least knew of them all.

“Her Mortal self may not know, but her Spirit self that’s housed within is in absolute control,” Donal said. “Did you ever pause to think that whatever it... they, she, he... was that deemed it necessary for someone like Yana to eventually exist, would not take into account that her Mortal body may need to be... exceptional? The entirety of the Hereafter may not have thought it possible for the Leveler to be Mortal, but what if... it... knew?”

“This is a far cry from the protection-covered Incorrupt who panicked as she tossed mixes at the moons,” the Guardian said, a small smile playing at his lips.

“I didn’t show you what she has been doing lately while at our library. I realized, even in this unremembering form, she is still who she was, completely, thoroughly, with no taint of Mortality, like the rest. It’s as if she has all her knowledge available, but no memories,” Donal said. He saw the whirls of the elements re=lected in the black eyed gaze of the Guardian. “She knows. She is there, all of her, in all the power she had, all she learned, accumulated as a Spirit. Her Divide keeps her safe, but allows a =low through, as she needs it.”

“This is information Ebbe and Emme must know...”

A piercing shriek stopped the Guardian’s words. Donal couldn’t help laughing at Kit, curled up, hiding in the corner as a voice, louder than Yana’s elements were bright, reverberated through the room. Yana had kept her hands still, but she’d turned a worried face to Kit’s huddled form. He knew the bombastic voice.

“WHY HAS A MORTAL DARED SUMMON ME?!” the voice yelled. Kit whimpered.

The Guardian yanked a particular strand from Yana’s whirling mass. Walking over to Kit, he spoke gently. “I have… unplugged… the volume. He can’t be that loud anymore. Lift your head, child. It is safe.”

Raising her head just enough to show one eye, she mumbled into her arm, “What is that?” Her eyes grew large at the deep, sonorous cursing coming through the line the Guardian held.

“Not a what, a who. Though in your understanding, he is a what,” the Guardian answered. Handing the thread to Kit, he continued, “Hold it tightly. He does need to be reined in from time to time. He is the star for Ebbe and Emme. All gods have stars, equal partners, a symbiotic relationship necessary for all to ascend on the Path. There are more beings than those of us; the Path is for all. His name is Olbok.”

Kit eyed the glowing, pulsing thread warily. “He doesn’t bite Mortals, does he?

The bark of a laugh escaped the Guardian’s mouth humorous, though ignored soliloquy about this being the sign of the end of all things.

“No, though he has been known to squash Demons and Incorrupt solely for amusement,” the Guardian said, his composure resumed.

“Kit? Are you OK? Why is your hand like that?” Yana asked. She was looking at Kit, hands moving in time to the pulsing whirl, rotating the solid mass.

“I... um... you called a star to show, and, he’s, speaking like we do,” Kit began.

“Wait, there’s a star in my living area?” Yana asked, looking around. The darkness of night was falling, the two moons in their slivered phase. She saw no extra light.

“No, I don’t see him, I heard him. He’s really loud. I’m holding a thread to him,” Kit answered. Looking at the Guardian, she continued. “I think you’re supposed to do something with him. Or tell him something. All the sparkly, colorful stuff you have =loating around you summoned him. His name is Olbok.”

A sarcastic comment about living, sentient stars started, but Yana closed her mouth. A zing hit the back of her head.

“Olbok, you need to go to Ebbe and Emme. Now. Do you have pockets?” Yana asked.

Kit shook as the sputtering rage quivered through the thread. “I can’t understand all the words, but I think he’s cursing at you. The Guardian says the answer is yes.” She paused. “The dead Oracle, Donal?”

“Yes?” Yana asked, moving her hands closer together. “He’s on the =loor laughing, like rolling around,” Kit answered. “I don’t get what’s so funny.”

Yana shrugged. She didn’t understand either, though being told what to do by a Mortal was likely a little insulting. “You need to =ind Ebbe and Emme, and put them in a pocket. Hide,” Yana said, studying the weight in her hands. It was heavy, her arms hurt, and it was bouncing from one hand to the other. “This is almost ready. I think.”

A frightened curse from Olbok drew Donal’s attention to Yana. Taking a deep breath and holding it, the Guardian spoke what he was thinking. “I certainly hope she knows where to aim that.”

Glossery of Names and Terms

Alil–AH leel (husband)

Alili–AH leelee (wife)

Ama-(Ah mah) - mom

Concilium–cohn SIL eeyum (a council of high gods/goddesses who guide others on the Path of Progression and oversee much of the running of the Hereafter)

Corrupt–the dead whose Mortal life choices and doings align them with evil and the Demons

Datter-(daa tr) - daughter

Deisos–DEE sohs (after death “paradise”)

Deisos Teacher(s)–Mortals spiritually and higher skilled than Oracles, rarer too, few known, can talk to/see Ebbe/Emme when allowed

Donal–DOH nul (male protagonist)

Ebbe–EH beh (Cycle God)

Emme–EH mee (Cycle Goddess)

Gods/Goddesses–those who were Incorrupt, then passed their various tests and trials in Deisos, allowing their ascension to godhood on the Path of Progression; god(s) is often gender neutral, as they are equals, but lazy, and the word is shorter to write/ say

Ochuroma–O schu ROH mah (after death “hell”)Hereafter–the life continuation along the Path of Progression that occurs after Mortal existence endsIncorrupt–the dead whose Mortal life choices and doings align them with the gods/ goddessesGuardian–a guide, helper, from Deisos, who assists Mortals

Olbok (Ohl bohk) – a sentient being, a star, belonging to Ebbe and Emme Oracles–Mortal version of prophets, seers who can talk to/see the Incorrupt, Guardians, Void - realm of the Demons (devoid of light)

Yana–YAH nuh (female protagonist)