Lexi Ryan

Lexi Ryan is the perfect example of the very best of a midwestern girl! From the very minute I met her, she had me all wrapped up in warm, homey friendliness with best of the best friend vibes until I truly felt we had known each other forever, rather than just for a day. She is candid yet kind, open yet considerate, and honest yet compassionate, and her books display that in every word and phrase. They are often emotional and deep - sometimes even leaning to the dark and hard subjects - but always real, with a satisfying and sigh-worthy ending. See? I just loved her! And I think you will, as well. Just read on and you’ll discover exactly what I’m speaking of and what makes her such a beloved author to so many thousands all over the world.

InD: You are a hard person to get to know online! You don’t share too much, so this is going to be a lot of fun. I’m just going to ask random questions! I would love to hear about your childhood Birst.

LR: I actually live in the town where I was born, Terre Haute, Indiana. I am the youngest of seven kids, so I come from a really big family. I have four older brothers and two older sisters.

InD: Was that a good thing?

LR: As a child, it was a great thing. I loved having so many siblings, but as a mother, I was never interested in doing it myself. I was never going to sign on for all that, which is funny because my dad is the oldest of nine, so apparently he always knew he wanted to have a lot of kids. I always knew that for me, there was no way. I have two, and that is perfect.

InD: What was that like growing up in Terre Haute? And what were you like as a kid?

LR: My childhood was a lot different than my children’s. Aside from all the siblings, it was just a different time. My mom stayed home until I went to kindergarten, and we were a one car household. My dad took the car to work, so we were stuck at home. As a child, I spent a lot of time playing outside, and with my four brothers playing Dungeons and Dragons. We lived out in the country and there were seven of us, so we didn't really get to be involved in extracurricular activities. There was no budget for that.

If I wanted something, my dad would say, “Save your pennies.” That was his answer to everything. For example, if I said, “One day I want to have a nice car”, he would say, "Save your pennies”, or “Daddy, look at that wedding dress! Could I have a pretty wedding dress someday?” “Save your pennies.” That was his answer to everything.

My kids, on the other hand, have the opportunities to do whatever they want. My daughter, from the age of six, was in gymnastics, until it got to be three practices a week, three hours a practice, and she decided she didn’t want that much. They enjoy being at home. They want the childhood I had, except I didn't have all the computers and technology until I was in high school.

InD: With that many brothers and sisters, were you teased a lot?

LR: Maybe by my sister, Debbie, who is two years older than me. We were really close friends, but also fought viciously.

InD: Are you close to them now?

LR: Yes, but not geographically. I have brothers from Seattle to Virginia, literally all over the country. I have one sister who still lives here, and I am still here in town, but otherwise we are spread out. We all still try to keep in touch. We really value what we have as a family, or at least I think we do. When I was growing up, I always thought we were special because there were so many of us, and I think that has never changed. I still think it is just really special.

InD: What were you like as a child?

LR: I think I was a born storyteller, to myself at Sirst. Before I discovered books, I would steal my brother’s Matchbox cars and make up little stories. I can remember taking my mom's Dolly Parton tape and singing along, and I would make up stories to go with the songs. They made sense, so it was like a musical. I thought everyone did that.

I am sure my love of stories was because our parents read to us all the time. I remember reading a Ramona book and loving it. I thought, “So, this is what it's like to love to read!” I always enjoyed the idea of being a writer; it was storytelling in my own little way. Then I discovered Romance novels!

InD: Okay, how did you get into Romance novels?

LR: My mom gave me my Sirst Romance novel. She handed me “A Knight in Shining Armor” by Jude Devereaux the summer before 7th grade, and said, “You are probably old enough to read this now,” and so I did, and I thought it was amazing! I immediately decided I wanted to write books that make people feel the way that book made me feel.

I devoured everything they had in my library by her, and anyone on the shelves around her. When people talk about "Old Guard" Romance, I think of Jude Devereaux and Judith McNaught. Those books felt like I was traveling through the past and present. The big, juicy single-titles were all Historical at that time, so I read lots of Historical because there weren’t a lot of authors writing Contemporary Romance.

InD: I absolutely agree there were not a lot of Contemporary authors back then.

LR: My library had category Romance, but they were usually just small paperbacks on little turnstile racks.

InD: I remember those! The little Harlequin-type books.

LR: Yes! I have always been an author-driven reader, though, so I wanted to Sind the authors I loved and then read everything they wrote. I would read the categories to Sind an author I really liked, then I would go back and maybe Sind more, but it was hard because category Romance is in the business of selling you a certain kind of story and heat level, because they are in the business of building a brand, not a speciSic author. But once I found Romance in the 7th grade, I became a die-hard reader. I even loved to re-read books. I was never involved with sports, never had a ton of friends, and I was socially awkward, so it was not like I did not read before. Because I was a smart kid in school and had to read for book reports and stuff, I was just never really into it until I discovered Romance, and then reading was all I wanted to do.

InD: I can understand that, with so many brothers and sisters, you don't really need to go look for other friends when you have them built in at home.

LR: Yes, but I am still a bit socially awkward. It is kind of who I am. I discovered books can save you, and they can save you over and over again and give you somewhere amazing to go when you feel you are stuck. I remember walking through the library, terriSied I would read all of the books and there would not be any left. That, to me, would be the worst possible thing.

InD: What were you like as a teenager?

LR: By the time I started high school, my siblings had started moving out, going to college, and doing their own thing, so I could start to be more involved in things. I was in the marching band, so I was a band geek, and that was one of the pivotal moments in my life.

The Sirst was when my parents divorced when I was in the 4th grade. That was super important and it was the best thing to ever happen to my family. Sorry you all, but when it is needed, it is needed, and it was needed, so that was a good thing.

The second pivotal moment in my life was discovering Romance, and the third was joining the marching band. I played the Slute. I was not very good, but I suddenly had this built in community and friend group, and for the Sirst time in my life I was active and busy. Apparently I thrive on being busy, and that was the Sirst time I Sigured that out. My teenage life was AP classes and marching band.

My husband and I went to all of the same schools from elementary to middle school and then to high school. He was a year ahead of me, but we did not actually meet until I graduated from high school. I always laugh when he talks about people from high school and asks if I remember so-and-so. I am like, “If they were not in AP or honors classes or in band, I didn’t know them and I did not care.” That was my world. It kept me busy and it kept me happy.

InD: Did you ever write through those years?

LR: Oh, yes. In middle school, I wrote teenage soap operas we would pass around the classroom. My friends would ask me to write them into the stories and make characters based on them.

InD: So in the 7th grade, the lights turned on because you love to read Romance, and you started writing stories down at that time?

LR: Yes, but I didn't actually Sinish anything for a long time. When I applied to college, I was going to be an English major. My mom asked me what I would do with that, and I said, “I am going to be a writer,” and then my mom said, “Where do you get a job as a writer?”

We grew up in the 90s, when things were booming and we were all told to go to college and get a Liberal Arts degree, then we could sell our skills and be great. So just wanting to be a writer was enough for me. I started at a small liberal arts school, but I hated it. It just wasn’t a good Sit for me, so I left after a year and came home. Then I went to Indiana State.

I was really happy as an English major, but I decided I wanted to minor in Women's Studies instead of Creative Writing. I don't know why. Then I decided I needed to get a master’s degree so I could at least get a job teaching at the local community college, so I immediately went into graduate school and got my Master’s degree while doing an assistantship, where they dropped me right into teaching their freshman classes.

Talk about immersion, I learned to teach really fast! I really did love the classroom and teaching, though. I just hated grading.

InD: How long did you teach?

LR: I did it all through my Masters, which was two years, and then I taught for another eight years after that. I did a few years as an Adjunct, and then I was a faculty member at a local community college. It was a great job, and I was really grateful to have it.

InD: Were you able to write while you were teaching?

LR: I was writing. I Sinished my Sirst book in 2005, just after Sinishing grad school, and even though I give myself a hard time for taking so long to write that Sirst book because I kept changing it, it became a Golden Heart Sinalist. Then, in 2008, this small digital press published a short story of mine. But even then, my writing was only bringing in a couple hundred dollars a book.

InD: What was the name of that Birst book?

LR: The name has changed over the years, but its current rendition is “Accidental Sex Goddess”. In its original version, it did not win. It was a Romantic Comedy, and at that time, everybody kept saying, “This is so nice, but nobody is buying anything that isn’t vampires.” So with the digital press, I kept working on the Contemporary Romance that I love, but decided to write some super sexy Paranormal to make some money on the side. Unfortunately, I had a full-time job and didn’t really have time to write both.

InD: Did you like doing Paranormal?

LR: I liked it, but at the time, I really thought I was a Romantic Comedy author. I’m able to laugh about that now because I see this same confusion with a lot of new authors, as well. Are you really a Romantic Comedy author or an author who just likes to put comedy in your books? Don't mistake one for the other. I do love to include humor in my books, but I am not a Romantic Comedy author.

InD: How did you Binally Bind your niche?

LR: Well, I could not afford to leave my job to write full-time, and I still wanted to spend time with my family, so I decided it was New York or bust. Harlequin Blaze had been sitting on "Text Appeal" for two years. You cannot have multiple submissions with them, so I was stuck following up until I got that rejection. In fact, I had stacks of rejections I kept when I Sirst started submitting, and at the time I just thought I was on my way, this was the road to success—almost everybody knows Stephen King’s story with collecting the rejection letters—so I originally just thought this is how you do it. But after a while, I felt like I had knocked on, and tried to bang down every door, to be turned away over and over and over again. I had written multiple books and multiple manuscripts, so I just sat down in my car and cried. I had a full-time job, my daughter was nine months old at the time, and my son was almost 5, and I felt like I was taking all of this time away from my family chasing this dream, that anyone in their right mind would tell you wasn't going to happen. I decided I needed to let it go, but I did not know how. I did not know who I was, if I was not a writer.

I am a mom, I am a wife, and at that point I was also a teacher, but in my heart I am a writer, and I didn’t know how to let that go. I cried, not because I was rejected, but because I felt like the right thing for me to do for my family was to just be done and walk away. They deserved to have me 100% and not chasing this thing that was not really there for me.

But I am nothing if not persistent, so before I even got out of the car, I thought, “I have friends who are traditionally published who are unhappy with what they are getting out of that deal, and are having incredible success with Indie publishing. If they can do it and feel like Indie is a valid way to get the books into the readers' hands, then I can do it too.”

InD: The reason I am so pro indie is because of all the incredible, amazing writers who would give anything to get their foot in the door, but just need that outlet, so it is really inspiring for me to hear your story.

LR: If you think about it, I was desperate for the traditional publishers to give me a chance to write for them so I could write three books a year and maybe make 20 grand. I have written three or four books a year on my own since 2013, and I haven’t had anything short of a six-Sigure year since.

I don't want it to sound like I’m bragging; I am just saying a writer doesn’t have to be on their knees asking traditional for the opportunity to work their butt off just so they can write and make barely a living wage. For me, three books a year is a full-time job. I'm not saying they didn't have valid reasons for their rejections, but from where I stood, I was at a crossroads where I felt like I could not keep doing this. I could not keep hitting my head against the wall.

I am not one of those stories where I just threw up a book and had immediate success, at all. The book was “Text Appeal”. I know I did a lot of things wrong, but I sent it to a copy editor and had it formatted, got a cover, and published it. I knew I had to sell a certain number of copies to break even, and it actually took me a few months just to get there. Then it kind of trickled to nothing, so I was like, what do I do now? So I wrote a short story I totally cannibalized and put it up for free, with the Sirst three chapters of "Text Appeal" in the back of it, hoping people would buy it once they read the short. Of course, that gets you real bad reviews on your short story, but at the time, I had a plan and a goal, and I knew I wanted to be a series-driven author.

I had a couple of other books under the bed I wanted to rework, but I wanted to do a series and hoped that within Sive books, I would be able to write full-time. That was my goal. It did not go the way I thought it would, but by February of 2013, I hit the New York Times Bestseller list, and by May I resigned from my day job. So I was by no means a shot out of the gate. I remember getting my Sirst review from someone I did not know on Goodreads, and I just remember staring at it on my computer and thinking, “This is happening!” I just always believed.

InD: This is so inspiring! I love that in your heart of hearts you knew this is who you are, and you did not give up on that. You kept pursuing your dream until it was realized! So you discovered that you like doing Contemporary.

LR: Yes, but “Text Appeal” is kind of old school because it straddled the line between sexy and a little Erotic Romance, because it is kind of between the two, so we weren’t sure where it Sit. I had one of the books under my bed that traditional had said "No" to, that I had been trying to Sigure out what to do with. I loved the core of the story and thought I could rewrite it and make it work.

So I rewrote it, put it in Sirst person, and took out all of the secondary characters and subplots (most of those became later books), reworked it all, then published it in 2013. That book, “Unbreak Me”, became my Sirst real breakout novel. It sounds weird because I hit the New York Times with something else, but this book had staying power. It gave me the chance to tell a story that really mattered to me. It is set in a small town, and I ended up writing several mini-series within that same small town.

InD: You write some really steamy sex scenes in your books, is that easy for you to do?

LR: Sexual tension and kissing, and sometimes foreplay I Sind easy, but the sex scenes themselves I Sind difSicult to write. You want it to be unique to the couple and speak to who they are as a couple, and sometimes that is challenging. But I love writing sexual tension and I love writing Sirst kiss scenes.

InD: I think the industry, as a whole, is swinging back to the emphasis on the growing sexual tension rather than immediate sex, and lots of it. I love reading sexual tension and that build up.

LR: I read across the board, but if I say a book is sexy, what I'm really referring to is the sexual tension. For instance, Kristan Higgins never has on-page sex scenes. She just does not write them, but she does have really, really good sexual tension.

InD: I totally agree, and that is what grabs the emotions. You do that very well in your books. It’s like you said, there are only so many different ways to make the mechanics of it interesting. It is really the emotion and the build-up that grabs the reader.

LR: Yes, because you want to see what their journey has been like, but when it comes to doing the deed, it is difSicult because it should never be something you could interchange the character's name and have it Sit in another book. InD: I totally agree with that. So you established yourself with these amazing books in Contemporary Romance, and then you decide to go into YA Fantasy. How did that happen?

LR: In 2018, I was having a little crisis of faith in my life. It started with me reading all the Fantasy I could, so I could just escape when the world was too much.

InD: Aw, Fantasy, my default genre! So who did you read?

LR: It started with Sarah Maas.

InD: With me too… it all starts there. [both laughing]

LR: I read her books, then I read the Fever series by Karen Marie Moning, which I could not put down. I remember sitting at a book signing in Orlando that was a bit slow, and I had my Kindle on the table so I could read. My husband, who was sitting next to me, said, “Put your book away, you are at a signing,” and I said, “If there is any place I can be in the world where people are going to understand that I can't put my book down, this is it.”

Then after the signing we went to Disney World, and I am in line reading on my phone because I could not stop reading! I ended up reading everything by Holly Black, and everyone else I could get my hands on.

InD: So you picked Fantasy because you decided you needed to get away, but how did you get into YA?

LR: I picked Fantasy because I wanted to kill some bad guys, and I picked YA because I liked the way they were marketing YA Romantic Fantasy more than they were marketing Adult Romantic Fantasy. It is changing now, but I took a good hard look at the market and at the readers I wanted, and the best direct line to my readers was to write mature YA.

InD: I was wondering, because I originally found you because of your YA Fantasy books, then I saw you had all of these wonderful Contemporaries. I remember thinking the age of your characters is younger, but the books read like an adult book.

LR: I am writing something dark enough that somebody needs a Slashlight.

InD: Why?

LR: My protagonist was held captive by a terrible king, this is years later and she has issues. I enjoy it, but there are moments I wonder if it is too dark. My editor tells me just do it and I will pull you back if I need to.

InD: I have always wondered if it was hard to pull yourself out after writing the dark stuff. How do you just get up from your desk and go make dinner for your kids? How does that work?

LR: I do not have any trouble getting out, because I just turn it off. This is "this" world, and that is "that" world. I actually have more trouble getting into that mindset because I like my characters to make good choices, so it’s hard to really get in there with all the dark and let them make bad choices. But I don't want to just give lip service to the hard stuff.

InD: Is it hard to write for hours staying in that?

LR: Not usually, but honestly, I don't sit at the keyboard for hours on end unless I am on a deadline. I am more of a "think about it for hours with my notebook Sirst" kind of writer. My wrists are too old to sit for too many hours at the keyboard, so I have developed strategies to avoid that. There is lots of thinking and note taking, and sometimes dictating, so the actual typing time is condensed.

InD: Tell us your love story!

LR: I love that question! As I mentioned, my husband, Brian, and I went to all of the same schools, but we did not actually meet until after high school. He is a year older than me. I had just graduated from high school, and one of my very good friends was dating his best friend. She introduced us, but I did not want to be “that” girl who goes away to college with a boyfriend.

They had rented this house with the deal that they could have really cheap rent if they Sixed up the attic into two bedrooms, making four bedrooms total in the house. So my husband, who is now a carpenter, was dry walling, and I would be over there hanging out. He would come down with his carpenter belt on, all sweaty, and I started thinking, “Hmmm, maybe.” [both laughing] Now he thinks that it was gross because he was covered in drywall dust, but a tool belt works for some people! So I told him, “If you just want to date for the summer…”

Famous last words! We dated for the summer, and I tried to break up with him before going to college, and that lasted maybe three days when I realized that was just a terrible mistake.

InD: Did you call him up and say you made a mistake?

LR: Remember, this was a long time ago, I did not even have a cell phone, and when I wanted to call home I had to pay for it because it was long-distance (even though it was only 30 minutes away) and I wanted to talk to him in person. He is such a sweet, quiet guy. On occasions he has his moments, but he usually doesn’t say a lot.

The Sirst weekend I was going to be back in town, he had a Boy Scout thing (he was always involved in Scouting. He is an Eagle Scout, and is still involved because my son is a Scout) so I had to wait until the following weekend. When I came home again, I went down to the basement where he lived with his friends and just hugged him. Then I said, “I want my boyfriend back," and he said, “I would really like that.” so that was that! Later, we were on the couch and he stared at me and I asked, “What?” and he said, “I'm afraid I am going to wake up.” I have probably used that line in my books 14 times by now because I just thought it was so wonderful.

InD: You have got the most wonderful love story! It is better than a book. When you Birst broke up with him, was he upset?

LR: From the beginning, he knew we were just going to be dating for the summer, so we were both kind of upset the night we said goodbye. We had both said "I love you" at that point, and we were really into each other. It sucked, but I thought that was what I needed to do.

InD: And 23 years later, you’re still together! That is wonderful! Has he read your books?

LR: He has read the YA Fantasy because that is what he likes to read, and he read the Sirst book I published, but Contemporary Romance is not his cup of tea, he reads Fantasy.

InD: Have your kids read your books?

LR: My daughter has read “These Hollow Vows”. I honestly didn't think she would, but she Sinished it and that surprised me. My son is allowed to read them if he wants, but he doesn’t want to, yet. InD: What do you like to do in your downtime, when you are not writing or reading?

LR: My daughter and I like to listen to crime podcasts together. There is a crime podcast that is based out of Indianapolis that is called “Crime Junkies” that tries to highlight lesser known crimes and minorities, and we love them. It is such a funny thing for a little girl to be into, but she is. I also love to lift weights. I like to be strong, that’s my thing.

InD: How did you learn how to “love” lifting weights?

LR: Honestly, I have always been a big girl, and because of that, working out is hard—it is hard to do burpees when there is a lot of you. I don't know how that is fun for anyone. One of my natural advantages of being a little bigger than others at the gym is that I can lift more weight, so I think I just naturally gravitated towards lifting because it was fun to be better at something. Once you gravitate towards it, you do more of it, and then you get better at it, so you like it more.

InD: I guess I have just never found anything I'm better at. LR: I would make everyone lift weights if I could, but I am sure there are people who would make everybody run or do burpees if they could.

InD: Probably! We always do favorites at the end of interviews because they tell us so much about you. So… what is your favorite food?

LR: That is hard… buffalo chicken. It’s hard because I am a mood eater, so from day to day it could be different because it depends on my mood. Even buffalo chicken is more about the sauce than the chicken because I love sauce!

InD: Your favorite dessert?

LR: Chocolate and/or peanut butter ice cream, in any fashion.

InD: What is your favorite color?

LR: Red to wear. Purple for everything else.

InD: Why?

LR: Red, because I look good in it, and purple, because I have just always loved it. Ever since high school I have been obsessed with purple. I let it go for a while and went with red, but I have circled back to purple.

InD: What is your favorite time of day?

LR: Early, early morning. I like to get up before for anyone else. It is quiet and peaceful and has so much potential.

InD: Where is your favorite place to be?

LR: The beach.

InD: And you live in Indiana…. [both laughing]

LR: I know. I just need to be near water. It doesn't have to be the ocean; I am happy with Lake Michigan.

InD: Where is your favorite place to travel to?

LR: I have only been once, but I love Nice, France. I like France in general, but I just fell in love with Nice.

InD: Do you have an overall favorite book?

LR: “Love and Other Words” by Christina Lauren. It is so good!

InD: Do you have a favorite movie?

LR: That one is a bit harder, but probably “Ten Things I Hate about You”.

InD: Alright, very last question, what is the best piece of advice anyone has ever given you?

LR: Right after grad school, we were moving. I was about to defend my thesis, and I was looking for a job. I was telling one of the guys on my thesis committee all of these things and how I was so stressed. He said, “Well, you know how to climb a mountain? You take one step, then you take one breath. One step, one breath.” I share that advice with people so often. It is literal advice when people are climbing a mountain because it is very easy when you get ahead of yourself, to get oxygen deprived. You have to make sure you are taking a breath. I don't know that much about climbing mountains, but apparently that is true. I am refocusing on that at this stage of my life. My word for 2023 is “peace” because that is truly the thing I want most, so I am going to focus on that advice I was given back in 2005. Take a step; take a breath. There is no sense in stressing and hyperventilating; that is not going to get you anywhere.

InD: Is it okay if we let our readers know you are also taking care of a parent with dementia right now, along with your family and kids?

LR: Yes. We all have different seasons in life, but for me, this is an extra busy season, so I’m going to take my own advice! One step, one breath. At the time my professor gave me that advice, I was ready to roll my eyes because I thought he was going with the cliché of “One step at a time”, but he didn’t. He changed it, and it became much more meaningful.

InD: That is what makes it very beautiful. It really adds so much more to it.

LR: When my son was an infant, the advice was, “Sleep when the baby sleeps.” I found that advice so frustrating because I was so exhausted. He would only nap for 25 minutes, so by the time I would get into bed and fall asleep, he was waking up again. Then when I went into my pediatrician’s ofSice, she said, “You need sleep when the baby sleeps, even if it's only Sive minutes.” The reason that advice was so much better was because I needed her to acknowledge it wasn't much, and it may not be enough, and I may still feel exhausted, but even if it was a few minutes, it would help.

InD: That is a perfect example of taking a cliché and tweaking it to really make it meaningful. And it is the very best advice. Thank you so much!