Walking in alone

The ‘single’ status can be daunting when you’re up against the challenge of making an entrance on recently went to the 50th birthday celebration party of a very dear friend. He happens to be a close friend from my media days before I moved to Australia. We go back a long way, and I wasn’t going to miss this birthday party for anything in the world.

However, there was one slight problem. I had been invited, but because he doesn’t know my brothers or other friends, I had to go alone. Now as I am single, you would think I am used to walking into a party alone. I have done that as a professional media person, walking into a conference or a party alone and then meeting up with other media people. But this was different. It was not a media event. My celebrity designer friend had invited only the people he really cared for and those who had worked closely with him through his long and illustrious career.

So I had no option but to walk in alone and hope to meet people I knew. It was the first ‘big’ social event I was attending in the year. Being back in India had seen me go into self-imposed hibernation. I walked in early so I could meet the host before he got busy playing host to all his invitees, since I was seeing him after three years. A long, emotion-filled hug later, I was introduced to an elegant lady who ran a little deli selling exotic cheeses and meats from all over the world.

Then I met another lady who I had worked with and interviewed many years ago. My friend kept hovering around making sure we had a drink in our hand and the food kept coming to our table. As time flew by, I ended up striking conversations with a lot of people whose names I knew, but whom I had never met. I began to relax and have a good time. The glasses of red wine also helped.

Later, I met several models and designers who were the biggies when I was part of the media scene. They brought back some fond memories of photoshoots done together at ungodly hours of the morning or night. Some of them are still very big in what they do, and it was heartening to see that success has not changed them one bit. I was greeted with the same warmth they exuded then, and my not having the ‘editor’ tag made no difference.

At midnight, my friend cut a cake after a very, very emotional speech and then everyone hit the dance floor. I left soon after, unwilling to wait until the Aishwarya Rais and Lara Duttas made an entry. And strangely, although I walked in alone, I left not feeling alone and with a sense of wellbeing that one has when you have had a great time.

The next day, nursing a hangover from the wine, I wondered if it is the same for single girls all over the world. Do they also feel a bit awkward walking into a party alone, till they meet people they know? Or do they make the most of the situation and use it as an opportunity to make new friends or meet interesting people? I must admit, in my case it was a bit of both. I did feel awkward but yet, I did strike up a conversation with strangers. For the more outgoing and confident party animals amongst us, walking into a party alone may not be a big deal at all. But what about the shy violets who need to be coaxed into a smile or a chat? And what about the in-betweens like me who are partly nervous and partly walk into a wedding or birthday celebration just like that? Especially when the other guests belong to the beautiful set who always look good and have perfect bodies?

It may not even be a party where the people are all glamorous, it could just be an old school or college reunion, or even a club party in your neighbourhood or community. Ever walked into a friend’s wedding where you don’t know anyone except the bride or groom? If you have, you will know what I am talking about. I think it’s the walking in alone part that a lot of people shy away from. A designer I got chatting with at the party who is happily single said she doesn’t think twice about it as she does it all the time. But another model I met said she never walks into a party alone unless she knows the hosts very well, simply to avoid unwanted male attention.

I am sure most single girls today walk into a party alone and think nothing of it. But this one is for all those girls who are not so confident about taking this step. They may have their reasons – being overweight, perhaps shy or introverted, not being very confident or comfortable talking to stranger – it can be anything. But after having taken the plunge, all I can say is that there are some things in life we have to take in our stride and go through. Walking into a party alone is not quite as bad as going to the dentist, but there is a first time for everything.

Even if it is a party where you know noone except the host and you belong to the shy category, when you get invited, make it a point to attend. You may meet some interesting people or the love of your life. Or you may get bored to tears. But you will never know unless you try it. So as the line goes, just do it!