Building resilience in young children

How to get kids to ‘bounce back’ after a challenge

building and maintaining of relationships with relatives, educators, friends and the outside community in them. This will make them more confident and also make them feel loved, secure and provide them with a sense of belonging.

Recently, I heard my little one say, “This is too hard, I can’t do it!” and then get frustrated about the task and walk away from it. I’m sure you as a parent have heard this too or experienced some form of this and wondered what to do. If you have, fret not, because most of us have gone through this in some way or another. The best way to combat this is to help develop and promote resilience in our young children.

Resilience refers to the ability to ‘bounce back’ after a challenge or tough times. I’m going to list here a few ways with which we can promote resilience in our children.

sTrong reL aTionships are The cornersTone oF resiLience

When our children know they have a strong circle of security to rely on, they will confidently bounce back from setbacks that they may face. It is imperative that we as parents forge strong bonds with our children. We must also encourage the

ModeL resiLience

As parents, we are the first role models for our children. So, the way we deal with any setbacks, problems, or disappointments becomes the mirror for them to follow. It is important to show our children that we have problems too or that we too can make mistakes.

Here's an example.

Parent: “Oh dear, I forgot my wallet today. Oopsies.” There is no hype in this statement. It is merely a statement of fact which shows that problems are just that, problems.

Secondly, it is important to show them how to resolve the problem. Using the example from above, here is what we could say:

Parent: “Now what shall we do? Hmm, I think we might need to go home and grab the wallet.”

In this way, we have shown our children that we are also fallible, and provided them with a practical, appropriate and suitable way to solve the problem as well as move on.

aLLow your chiLdren To experience chaLLenges and disappoinTMenT s

As parents, our instinct is to shield our children from problems. The better solution is to support our children instead. Here are some examples.

• When your child breaks a toy, let them face the disappointment of this versus rushing out to replace the toy.

• When your child doesn’t get what they want (eg for their birthday/meal times etc), let them feel the emotions and talk to them about how they are feeling versus fixing the problem for them. Overcoming these small challenges will help to build our child’s resilience for bigger setbacks.

heLp your chiLdren to develop problemsoLVing skiLL s

As parents, we can teach our children developmentally appropriate problem-solving skills when they are faced with scenarios that are difficult.

An example of such a scenario: A child was unkind to your child in the playground. Your child is now upset. Now, how do you help your child to resolve this with resilience?

• Let your child feel the emotions that they need to feel

• Talk to them about how they are feeling and support them through this

• Brainstorm with them ways on what they could do the next time this happens

• Re-enact scenario with puppets and watch them put into practice what they have learnt

encourage your chiLdren To haVe anoTher go

It is important to support and encourage our children to keep trying and having another go when they can’t get it the first time. Praise them for the efforts of trying, using phrases like “Well done for giving it another go.” Another way to do this is to create a habit or ritual of recognising and acknowledging positive incidents that have occurred during the day by each of the family members. This could be done at meal times.

Doing the above will help to build on our children’s compassion as well as show them how to be kind to themselves. This will enable them to face their setbacks in a more positive light.

All of the five ways presented here are great at promoting resilience. Building resilience from a young age will build confidence in our young children to deal with the next challenges that come their way.

With over 1.8 million followers on TikTok (and counting), Avneesha Martins is quickly becoming a familiar name among South Asian Australians. Her videos feature the self-deprecating, millennial humour we know and love, though it’s probably got older generations scratching their heads in confusion.

One video’s about listening to sad music when you’re sad to feel sadder… except your mum keeps interrupting you.

Another video tackles the desi parent’s penchant for home remedies to cure even the tiniest of sniffles.

In one amusing take on everyday life, Avneesha discusses the classic Apple vs Android feud, this time in song.

It’s probably no wonder then that she’s always hearing comparisons with fellow social media personality, YouTube’s Lilly Singh.

“I do get that a lot, she’s been a huge inspiration,” Avneesha laughed. “When I started out, I wanted to market myself as a musician, so my content was very focused on my music. But TikTok gave me the freedom to explore and show off different sides of my personality, like goofing around wearing a moustache!”

The 28-year-old Canberra native, now based in Sydney, has amassed a massive social media following in just two years, assisted by her husband Jarrod Martins with filming and editing. Some of the best ideas come from everyday experiences, she said.

“I’ve got notebooks filled with random scribbles of ideas that I’ve gathered over the years. It’s really fulfilling to make this content and see how people react to it,” she explained. “Sometimes I’ll make a video on things I thought to be unique to me, like I once made a video about the amusing way my father brushes his teeth, and then comments flooded in with people sharing their own hilarious experiences with their parents.”

Avneesha’s career in performing and entertaining goes back to her early years. She recalls singing all throughout her childhood, including Canberra Gurudwara. In 2018, she went on to join Australian pop girl group Mischief where she was able to “learn how the industry works.”

Now a solo artist, Avneesha describes her sound as a unique mix of R&B with an infusion of Bollywood and Punjabi. Her first Punjabi single, ‘Meri Jaan’, released recently, has already amassed more than 10,000 views.

“The Internet has become a great equaliser in allowing our content to reach many audiences,” Avneesha observed. “We’ve seen the massive success of artists like Tesher with ‘Jalebi Baby’ in the mainstream and it shows there’s room for a different kind of sound in the