ASK AUNTYJI

DEAR AUNTYJI

Mai to museebat mein phas gayi hoon. My Australian-born beautiful husband of Indian descent has started a really really bad habit which he has been doing for 6 months and it's driving me crazy. So this is his habit and I am really really hoping you can provide me with good advice on what I should do.

Each time we go driving, especially in Parramatta in Sydney, if another driver upsets my husband, he rolls down his window and shakes his st and yells profanities in a desi uncle ji accent. Oh you bloody basket, can't you drive properly? Or, arre pagal, do you have eyes or aloo - can't you see my lane? Now normally he speaks with a very broad Australian accent, but his uncleji accent is almost too perfect. At rst it was funny but now I am alarmed that other drivers will not see the humour of this. Are you able to please provide me with guidance?

AUNTYJI SAYS

Arre, tumhara patidev tho bahut hi gunda nikla. Which Aussie-born nayak takes on a panga with other drivers by yelling at them like a demented uncle high on ganja? This is exactly the type of behaviour that could get him beaten up. Sydney drivers are notoriously crazy - so your husband is playing with aag. Could it be that he behaves like this because tumhe bahut hi maza aata hai listening to hubby do his best impersonation of a sharaabi uncle high as a kite on charas getting the crankies with other NRIs? So if aapko yeh tamasha achcha lagta hai, tho he must be doing it for your bene t. I suggest you curtail all encouragement of this behaviour, and advise patidev to stop behaving like a lafanga mawaali. Nothing achcha will come from this. Baat maano and apne aadmi ko kuch akal do.