MATRIMONIALS

Seeking Grooms

Seeking a suitable match for a 33-year-old girl, 5’6”, Melbourne based CPA working as a consultant. The boy should be well qualified professional, settled in Australia with a minimum height of 5’9”. Contact n.bhandari085@gmail.com or + 61 433 391 881.

Suitable match for an Australian citizen Hindu girl, highly qualified IT professional. Parents highly educated and well settled in Sydney. Should be well qualified and working professional, Australian citizen or permanent resident. Please respond to rukrghrmn@gmail.com

Looking for a match for professionally qualified, 25-year-old, 5’10”,Sikh girl from Melbourneworking in education. Seeking Sikh groom, well-educated professional, settled in Australia. Contact pklkaur18@ gmail.com

Christian parents looking for Christian groom, fair/wheatish, height 5’8”to 6’, good looking, well settled, IT professional/ n Furniture removal service, please recommend? n Seeking room for rent n Have an apartment for rent (25 pics attached) n How do I apply for post study work visa? n Looking for landscaping company. n Looking for Indian style jet toilet n Looking for job: Oracle database professional, SQL, AWS and Qlik view BI. n We are hiring: seeking Oracle database professionals, SQL, AWS and Qlikview BI. n Toyota Camry for sale. Only 15 years old. (And it was second-hand when we bought it too) n Which solar system is good? (Er, the one we live in?) n Studying XX course. Want to change to YY. Pls advise. (Lucky if you get one legit response) n Anybody install curtains? n Any good dosa caterers? n Any online sites to watch live cricket?(Cue a flood of posts/ads promoting local operators who provide live feed of Indian TV channels)

INDIAN MUMS IN MELBOURNE/SYDNEY/ BRISBANE

n I want to buy this product (XYZ shapewear), banker/engineer for their daughter, 1987 born, fair, 5’4”, working as a psychologist in Sydney. Please contact 0450 513 263 or email bournmum@gmail.com

Seeking Brides

Seeking 25-30-year-old Hindu/Punjabi girl from Australia for our 32-year-old specialist doctor son, 5'9", born and brought up in Sydney. Please respond: gupta_rsr@hotmail. com or ph 0414 282 510 Alliance invited for well educated, divorced, 5' 9", 1975-born Sikh Khatri boy. Working and self-employed, earning 100k per year. Looking for compatible Sikh girl from Australia. Early marriage. Phone: 0422 102 242 or email: ghai07@yahoo.com

Australian Melbourne resident (born South Africa/Hindi) 32-year-old professional, outgoing and well-travelled man seeking Indian or Sri Lankan lady with similar interests for marriage. Please e-mail details with photo to father ranjitha@slingshot.co.nz

Australian citizen, male, professional, working for Government department, owns house in Sydney, huge assets. Seeking suitable match for marriage. Contact sydneyboy293@yahoo. com or 0438 029 833 any recommendations? (170 replies) n I want to buy this product (ABC kitchenware), any recommendations? (200 replies) n I want to buy Rotimatic – reasonable price – any suggestions? (‘reasonable’ is Indian-speak for cheapest possible)(150 replies) n Where can I buy kurtis/velvet sari blouse/ lehenga/Indian outfits for my kids (50 replies – all spruiking their own homebased business that they run after hours or on weekends) n Does anyone else feel good when you get home and unhook your bra? (800 replies, plenty of emojis) n Anonymous post: I’m having such-and-such problem with my husband. (200 replies: 100 saying ‘He’s an ass**le you need to get out of the marriage call me I’m a counsellor’, 100 saying ‘Don’t be so ungrateful learn to support him think of your kids’) n Look, I made this paneer dish for dinner. (500 likes, some asking for recipe) n My lovelies, I wrote this poem today. (Attach senseless drivel) (900 likes, a lot of GIFs, some replies that are also poems) n My baby has a skin rash (attach sickening pic), someone tell me what to do. (Er, maybe take him to doctor?) 50 replies (apply cucumber juice; wash with chandan; put multanimitti; say this mantra 25 times) n In-laws are visiting: which Indian TV should I subscribe to? (so they won’t pester me) n Looking for caterers for dinner party – reasonable price (Translation: I want cheap food that tastes like Michelin star level food) n Good lady doctor in Westmead/ Blacktown/Harris Park/Quakers Hill/ Altona/Point Cook/Truganina/Wyndham n Want to start kitty group in Westmead/ Blacktown/Harris Park/Quakers Hill/ Altona/Point Cook/Truganina/Wyndham n Does anyone else miss Hindi TV soaps? (200 replies, many discussing plots) n Birthday party ideas for 5-year-old? n Eggless cake/halal cake?? n Please help with this problem in today’s maths homework, Year 5.

BUT SERIOUSLY, Facebook communities, thank you for doing such a great job. Please don’t block us because we wrote this. How else will we know how to make home-made dahi like back home in India, see your pics of autumn leaves (which you like to call “fall”), discuss options for our kids’ schooling, and hear your opinion on why Abhinandan’s moustache is such a big hit?

With contributions from Indian Linkers in Perth, Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide