ASK AUNTYJI

I am 40 years old and married to an Australian lady for the last twenty years. While I try to follow some aspects of my Indian culture, I have generally become Australianised. Of course, I still support the Indian cricket team! Now Auntyji, my wife - while she is a lovely lady - has mostly been ignorant of the Indian culture. We don’t have any friends of Indian descent, and all my relatives are in the US. So Auntyji, here is what happened a few years ago. One day, while I was watching cricket, my wife got angry and switched the channel to SBS where a Bollywood movie was playing. I don’t recall what it was - because I have not seen one Bollywood lm, even when I was in India because my parents didn’t consider it high culture. But Auntyji, my wife was hooked. She and I had a massive argument. Since that day, Jennifer became hooked on Bollywood. She watches these lms all the time, listens to Bollywood music and even when she is on the iPad, I can see her reading up on lm stars. I don’t know what’s wrong with her, but she says she is imbibing Indian culture from watching these lms. And slowly she is changing. She has made herself some new friends who are Indians who arrived here recently. She goes to every new Bollywood lm that opens. And just the other day, she insisted that this year, she was going to keep Karva Chauth. Auntyji, when I heard this, I went on an automatic fast myself for the entire day.

I could not eat or drink. What has overcome of my poor ignorant wife? When do you think she will return to her old, ignorant, uncultured ways instead of trying to do an adaab whenever she sees an appa in a burka because that’s what happened in Mere Mehboob, or so I’ve been informed. Please advise, I am at my wits’ end.

Oh, you crazy, crazy man! You are such a philistine! Don’t you know that Bollywood is a key tool that the Indian diaspora utilise to understand who they are and where they came from? Today, if you go to Mauritius, South Africa, Fiji, Maldives or Malaysia, you will nd people of Indian descent whose ancestors left India over a hundred years ago, and these folks watched Bollywood to learn about India and the traditions of its people. Bollywood has its place in society. It allows people all over the world to be entertained, amused, perplexed, abbergasted and occasionally outraged by what they see and hear on the screen. They then try to emulate this in their lives - why else would brides insist on doing the saat phere when everyone knows it’s a Marathi custom, and why else are Fiji Indians now having a sangeet night at weddings - when this was never part of their culture. As for Ms Jen, she has seen the beauty of Bollywood. You should be happy that she is learning more about your peoplethere is nothing wrong with educating oneself. In fact, if I may be so blunt, it is you who is uncultured by looking down on an important educational tool. Something that has given people so much joy, happiness and understanding should not be mocked. I suggest that you leave your wife alone, and instead go and watch a few Bollywood lms yourself. You should start with Raj Kapoor lms, because as everyone knows, this was the hey day of cinema. And then evolve to Amitabh Bachchan lms. Jug jug jiyo.

DEAR AUNTYJI

I am an Australian girl and have started going out with an Indian man who is wonderful to me. I have had a strange experience I was hoping you can shed light on. A month ago, I met Neel’s sister and her husband and we decided to have dinner together. Afterwards, we went back to their place, and for some reason, Neel’s sister’s husband had done something to upset her. She was cranky with him, but the way he was trying to placate her left me gob-smacked. He started speaking to her like a little boy - and tried to get her attention and favour. He kept on walking to her and saying “suno nah” or something like that, but in a little boy’s voice. At one stage, he even grabbed her hand and tried to get her to look at him, shaking it as though he was six years old and had done something to upset his mother. Alisha, meanwhile, was hell-bent on ignoring him and was trying the silent treatment. I was so baf ed by this perplexing drama going on in front of me, but not as much as I was all shook up when last week, Neel did something to