MATRIMONIALS

Seeking Grooms

Match required for 40-year-old Christian Methodist female. Separated after brief marriage, no issues. Australian citizen, working as a teacher. 5’4”, wheatish complexion. Send bio data to rattan_16@yahoo.com

Brother based in Sydney seeks match for 39-year-old Mumbai-born, never married Gujarati girl. 5’4”, well-cultured, medium built, B.Com, working for international shipping company in Dubai. Hindu grooms please contact on 0416 475 948 or komaldxb@gmail.com

Seeking a professionally qualified, settled match for Sydney-based, never married Australian citizen. Hindu, Punjabi Khatri 45, 5’3” slim, fair, attractive girl. Postgraduate and working on a good position in government organisation. Send details with photo indsyd2016@gmail.com

Looking for a match for our very good looking daughter, New Zealand citizen, 32-year-old, never married. 5’2”, very slim and talented. Masters in Taxation and works as a project manager in Melbourne. Ours is an upper middle class Sikh Arora family settled in Auckland. Looking for a good-looking, well settled and qualified male preferably from Melbourne or New Zealand, from Indian good family background. Email shummirekhi@gmail.com with groom’s full details, photos and contact details

Match required for a well-settled, beautiful, 45-year-old Hindu female (looks much younger). Divorcee, professional educator, own house. Seeking well-settled and fun-loving groom for marriage. Caste no bar. Email deelgq@gmail.com or call 0422 794 566

Seeking Brides

Indian Christian Protestant parents, seeking a suitable match for their 37-year-old son, a software engineer, born and brought up in Australia. Prefer Protestant girl between 28-34 years of age. Email sammy5073@gmail.com or call 0403 836 360

Seeking a life partner of Indian origin, aged 25-35, for an Indian 54-year-old guy. Australian citizen, never married, living in Sydney, with engineering background. Contact Arun Tiku 0401 387 747 or email arun9tiku@yahoo.com.au

So there you have it. Your boss thinks you are a “work-shy waste of space suffering from terminal laziness” (to quote the sort of phrases used in this writer’s school reports) when actually this is the secret of high achievement.

Top role model? My files have two people tied in first place, both from India.

Government engineer A.K. Verma stopped going into work in 1990 but wasn’t actually sacked for 23 years. Teacher S. Kashyap who was fired only after bosses noticed she’d been absent for 23 years of her 24-year career.

But I also have a soft spot for police officer Albert Muraglia, 53, of San Remo, Italy. He lived in same block as the police station, so every day he would wake up, walk down to the time-clock in his underpants and check himself in to work. Then he would go back to bed. Sometimes he was too lazy to even do that, and he sent his child, in her pyjamas, to clock in for him.

Bonus lazy dad tip: when your wife tells you to round up the children for dinner, you don’t have to move. Just reach for the router and turn the wi-fi off. The kids will appear like magic.