Discovering her selves s

She opens the essay titled “The Girl” with “the girl you want does not exist”. Because this girl is her own finding and lives in her little amusements, sensitivity and comfort zones. She only accepts hugs from furniture and throw cushions. She rests her face against cold marble surfaces. She moves at the pace of someone gathering dirty laundry, inspecting smells and stains or tears. “She is not the one for accomplishing anything fast. You yearn for her vulnerability, which you believe comes complimentary, like peanuts on a flight. In a restaurant with wall-length bistro-antiqued mirrors, even when she’s looking at you, she’s looking just beyond you – at her reflection.”

Her essays are restless yet meditative, and an incredible check on all the mindless self-deletion and appropriation we engage in every day in order to fit in. “Be difficult, stay difficult and do not apologise for it” is what I take for me from her musings, besides the acute need for listening and mastering the act of it.